Crimson and Clover
by KathleenDee
Summary: AU Classic story of growing up on the opposite sides of the tracks. Raine fic T now M later. COMPLETED :)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: IDK what I'm doing, I'm just writing. In the past I only wrote Luakkas or even the occasional Aurikku but I really like Raine now, I think there is a certain authenticity and potential to their characters. The title just came about because I like that song so….yeah lol Anyway I hope you like it. It defiantly takes a more...mature tone than my other fictions.  
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**Kathleen**

**Chapter One**

It was morning, Paine could tell because she could see a thin beam of dust pushing past the dingy curtains in her tiny room.

"7:35."

It was a little game she would play when she wasn't too upset about waking up before her alarm. A quick glance to her left at the shining green numbers told her it was half passed seven.

Close enough.

With the ritual rubbing of the eyes and a tired yawn Paine slowly pulled herself from under the worn gray and blue blankets of her twin sized bed. She moved over to her window and peaked outside at the busy city street under her. Rough looking middle class women hand in hand with their young children were all on their way to work and school. Winos crawling back to the park from the hard night of begging and drinking and the occasional random, someone without a real purpose, seemingly there as an extra. It was easy to feel this way on the lower eastside of the city. Paine raked a hand through her hair as she stepped away from the window not even bothering to open it to let light in, by the time she would come home it would be dark and just fine the way it was now.

Staring at her small closet for less than two seconds Paine pulled out a dark gray shirt and her usual tethered dark blue jeans before grabbing a towel and quickly heading down the hall to the community bathroom.

There was no way to describe it, only one word fit. Gross. Paine had tried keeping up and cleaning the small closet like space but gave up a week ago when she found Gippal one of her house mates, passed out hugging the toilet one morning, puke everywhere.

"Fuck it." Paine grumbled as she turned right around and went back to her room to change. She could shower at work if she got there early enough. After changing and making herself look presentable Paine slipped on her old pair of converse and making sure to remember her 12 page research paper she had spent the better part of last night revising in the local library up the street, Paine pulled her brown leather messenger bag on her shoulders and quickly skipped two steps to go downstairs.

"Morning." It could have easily been mistaken for a grunt.

Paine shielded her eyes with her bag. "Jesus would it kill you to put on some clothes?" She shook her head and kept her gaze straight ahead of her as she went into the kitchen.

"Why? Clothes are what brought this economy into such chaos. Did you know that five of the major stock companies where all—"

"It's too early for this Nooj." Paine said shaking her head at her roommate while reaching into the fridge to grab something.

No one really knew how old Nooj was, he hid that very well by shaving very closely and growing his brown hair into a long ponytail. He wore thin rimmed glasses, the kind that looked like if you even sneezed too hard they would snap in two. Paine was guessing late twenties, but that's only because he wore loafers. She had had a economics course with him last year and she and the rest of her roommates were looking for someone to fill a room so that's how he came to be sitting on a kitchen stool with a bowl of cereal and the New Luca Times , completely nude.

Paine learned a long time ago not to ask questions about his tendencies. It was just part of who he was. The clothed version of him wasn't that bad of a guy.

"You won't be saying it's too early when they raise tuition again because the economy is going down."

Paine was reading the expiration date on a jug of milk. She furrowed her brows "…hill?"

"No, just down. We're sucking all the other countries dicks at this point." He said casually, dipping a spoon into his bowl of honey nut cheerios.

"Oh." Paine honestly didn't know why she signed up for a politics course this semester, all she had to do was stay home. "Hey did you have some of this milk?"

"Yup." Nooj nodded not taking his eyes off the paper.

"It's expired."

"They just put those dates on there to scare you, its fine."

Paine blinked and then shook her head again while putting the jug back into the fridge. "Whatever I'm going to be late." She reached for a green apple sitting on the counter and headed for the door.

"Cya."

"Bye." She called over her shoulder before stepping out of their unit and walking down the creaking steps to the first floor and pushing the main door open.

"Paine!" A little voice called as Paine stepped outside into the Spring morning. She turned around to see a little girl about the age of 9, she had deep ivory skin and the prettiest brown eyes Paine had ever seen. She was the building owner's daughter Mackenzie.

"Big Mack." Paine greeted with a small smile.

Mackenzie laughed seemingly forgetting why she stopped Paine in the first place. Then like that she remembered. "Oh!" Momma asked me to ask you if we could walk to the bus together, she had to leave for work early or somethin'."

Paine nodded. Mackenzie's mother was a nurse and often had to run out and do things trusting only Paine to babysit sometimes. "C'mon we don't want to miss it….don't forget your bag." Paine motioned to the hooks near the wall once Mackenzie ran past it excitedly. Paine sighed and picked up the obnoxiously pink bag.

After waving bye to her little friend Paine jumped back on the bus quickly and found a seat in the back and put her headphones in. She had about 45 minutes before they got to downtown Luca where she worked and went to school. The ride time varied depending on the time of day, traffic, holidays you name it. It was so inconsistent that Paine just decided to be an hour early to everything including work at the universities health and Wellness center's fitness area.

Paine got onto campus around 9:00am and was showered and ready for work when she was supposed to be at half past. She made sure to slip all of her things into her gym locker, all student instructors got one. Paine taught self defense and some higher level martial arts classes when she wasn't in class. The pay was barely there but it was pay, and just enough to pay for her room and grocery's every two weeks.

"Someone looks chipper this morning." Tidus one of her co-workers asked as she came to sit behind the desk with him wearing her dark blue Wellness Center polo. When she wasn't teaching classes she had desk duty with the chatty blonde.

He was a little shorter than Paine and looked to be in desperate need of a haircut. Tidus was easily excitable and had deep blue eyes, Paine wondered if they were real ffrom time to time. Though he was sort of one of _them_, Tidus seemed to be more grounded. Hell he had a job and had confided in Paine once that he was only in school because he didn't want to just take over the family business and mooch off his parents. He still wore polos when he wasn't working, which for some reason drove Paine crazy.

"Morning." Paine merely replied.

"Or not." Tidus nodded. Anytime he worked with Paine he tried to get her to say more than three words to him. It was his own game because without it they would go crazy out of boredom. "So I have this quiz today that I didn't study for at all—" Paine began to drown him out.

It wasn't like she didn't like Tidus, he just talked so god damned much. Paine busied herself by logging onto the student database and checking her school e-mail.

"Fuck." Paine groaned when she got an email from her professor.

"What's wrong?" Tidus asked leaning over in his rolling chair.

"Fuck." Paine said continuing to read. She paused and looked to Tidus then back at the screen. "This douche just decided to add five more pages to the million page paper he assigned due today."

Tidus frowned, though that was most defiantly more than three words he felt for Paine. "Can you do five more?"

Paine nodded scrolling down in the email. "Yeah but…"

"Just run home get it done then come back." Tidus nodded feeling helpful until he saw the look on Paine's face.

"Not all of us live in the Heights blondie." She rolled her eyes and went back to looking at the screen. She would need to head to the schools library on fifth and then come back for her 10:30 class….or she could miss the boring lecture and just turn the paper in right after class when he was in his office. "Cover for me?" Paine asked quickly getting up and looking for her things.

"What? Yeah I mean…you're leaving me?"

"Tidus it's 9 in the morning, the only people here are people who know what they're doing." Paine said grabbing her bag and heading toward the locker room.

"I got your back!" She heard him call after her dorkily.

##

She literally had two minutes to get to his office. Paine was completely out of breath when she got the office section on the fifth floor of the college of Social sciences building. Paine sighed a breath of relief when she heard voices coming from his office. He was obviously with a student so she waited patiently outside. She was running a mental list of everything she had left to do for today before catching the bus home. She didn't teach a class today so maybe she could leave early. She pulled out her fresh copy of research and nodded to herself reading over the last paragraph of share genius and bullshit.

"Ok I'll be more prepared next time Auron," came a flirty female voice.

Paine furrowed her brows. Auron? Was that this old guy's first name? Paine stepped forward ready to turn in her assignment when the door opened and a giggling blonde tossed a look over her shoulder at "Auron" and ran right into Paine dropping her watered down iced coffee all over Paine and her 17 page paper.

"Oh my god!"

"Fuck!" Paine looked down at her ruined clothes then up at the shorter girl.

"Oh wow I am so so sorry here let me" The shorter women reached forward and Paine recoiled quickly.

She didn't like people touching her.

"Do you know how much it cost to print at this school?" Paine found herself asking. "25 cents page!"

"Paine, that's enough." Professor Gaurrd's scruff voice came as he stepped out of his office. It wasn't lost on Paine that he was adjusting his clothes. "Is that your paper, I was looking forward to seeing it..oh…" He took note of the coffee dripping all over Paine and the paper "I'm afraid I can't accept that."

This paper had taken Paine all semester to write. Was he kidding? "Is there any way that I could possibly…" Paine began quickly flipping through the paper to access the interior damage. She completely forgot about the blonde standing beside her until she looked up at Professor Guarrd and saw he was looking at her with a little smile on his face.

Gross

Paine looked between the two. The shorter blonde was looking at Paine's hands and was completely oblivious to her admirer. "Professor?" Paine asked again. She finally got his attention.

The older gentleman looked at his watch. "I'm sorry Paine but the due date was today at 1:00pm it's now 1:12pm, unless you have another copy somewhere of the full 17 pages I'm afraid I can't help you." He said washing his hands clean.

Paine took her time processing the information. "So I can't turn it in?"

He shrugged. "No."

Paine could feel herself heating up. "I was here at one though…"

"How come you didn't knock?"

"Excuse me for not wanting to interrupt." Paine glanced at the blonde girl who for some reason was still there.

"Paine." Auron said firmly. "I'm sorry, look I have a meeting soon, email me maybe we can work out getting an IC grade and then you just turn it in again?" Auron nodded like he was answering for Paine. "I will see you later." He directed towards the blonde who suddenly looked embarrassed.

"An IC?" Paine said to herself. She clenched her firsts and then squeezed them tight before releasing, leaving her hands to fill with blood again. The old Paine would have gotten enraged, but she was different now, she was an adult now. She couldn't keep acting like a product of her environment. Things had changed; she didn't need to fight anyone.

She kept on saying this over and over in her head.

None of this changed the fact that the summer internship she wanted was dependant on her GPA this semester. Incompletes were not acceptable.

"Look I am so sorry if there is anything I can do—" The blonde began. She hiked up her designer backpack and clasped her hands together.

Paine looked at her, again for a second forgetting she was there. "Yeah, next time you wanna blow him? Do it when he's not on office hours." She growled as she continued down the hall. She still had a class to get to after all.

##

By the time Paine got off the bus it was around 11pm at night and the streets were silent. She had kept on her work polo since it was not completely covered in a mocha frappa whatever. The more she thought about it, the more upset she got.

Did these things happen to everyone? Now what was she going to do for the summer break, she had to work. Paine sighed hoping it wouldn't come to her working with Gippal again at his fathers restaurant, sure it was money but at the same time she was putting herself back into the position to repute what happened last summer and she didn't want to go down that rode again, not when she was doing so well.

Paine liked walking around at night. It defiantly wasn't the safest thing for her to do considering the area but she couldn't help but finding it calming, quiet but still very much alive. There was a certain hum on the streets. Everyone was home and inside but you could still hear loud tv sets, arguing couples, children fighting tooth and nail to stay awake. She could be alone, without really having to be alone. Paine had been living here for a little while so she made it home without incident.

She managed to open the door despite one of her roommates leaving the latch on. That should say something about the security of their apartment. Paine thought as she hiked the small set of stairs to her room. She found it odd that the only person home was Elma, a short mousy red head who never came out of her room. The light shining from the bottom of the closed and probably locked door told Paine she was still alive.

Once in the safety of her room Paine sighed and pulled off her top and jeans and got into bed, a second later her cell phone was buzzing.

_**U home yet?**_

The text was from Gippal. Paine lay in bed texting back.

_**Yeah**_

_**Spiff on the roof?**_

Paine thought about it and before she knew it she had changed into baggy basketball shorts and a hoody and left the apartment only to find the roof entrance and start climbing.

"You're late Doc." Gippal a lean toned young man with wild blonde hair and a cocky smile greeted Paine. They had become friends in Juvenile hall when Paine was placed there as a small child. There wasn't enough room in social services. Apparently it was abandon your kid month.

"Where's mine?" Paine asked dipping her hands into her hoody pocket for a lighter while Gippal fished his for the extra joint he rolled for her. "God I needed this." She muttered. She had quit smoking cigarettes a long while ago and needed a release. Drinking was a no go, sex was defiantly out of the question, she was just so wound up lately.

Gippal chuckled to himself. "I could tell by your walk." He mumbled. He was wearing long work out pants with and a hoody as well, his hood was pulled up though, there was a leftover winter wind coming from the East that caused Paine to do the same thing before sending her friend a curious look.

Gippal motioned over the roof and onto the street below. Paine nodded in understanding and for a while the two just stood there leaning against the railing looking down at the occasional shadows that roamed around this time of night.

"How do you know when to say sorry?" Gippal asked out of nowhere. "I'm not a girl, I'm not good at these things."

Paine huffed slightly, for some reason the apologetic blonde from that afternoon came to mind. She pushed it back. "I'm a girl, have you ever heard me say it?"

Gippal chuckled. "You always go around it."

Paine shrugged and they were quiet again. "I was a bitch today…"

"And this is different from any other day because…?" Gippal asked a sly grin in place.

Paine shook her head throwing the story completely out the window. It wasn't like she would ever see the girl again. That night as she lay in bed Paine sighed to herself. "I'm not going to look for her." She said aloud as if this was going to make it law. She wouldn't, if she saw her she would say something, if she didn't well then there it was. Paine fell asleep shortly after making the deal.

##

After a rather shaky morning Paine found herself craving caffeine so instead of heading straight into work she detoured to the on campus coffee shop. Paine ordered her coffee and was contemplating if she should add something festive like cinnamon or honey. Deciding that she wasn't in the mood Paine capped her black coffee and was on her way out when golden blonde hair caught her eyes. She froze.

There, at a window seat, looking very content with sitting by herself was the blonde from yesterday. She was wearing a linen blouse and some dark blue jeans. The woman couldn't be older than Paine she thought, and if she was in the coffee shop she was defiantly a student. No faculty member stepped foot in there, they would get eaten alive.

Paine took a deep breath trying to swallow her pride, capped her coffee firmly, and began to walk over.

The blonde was picking at a banana nut muffin while reading what looked like a very boring text book. Her right hand tightened her hold on a pink highlighter then relaxed it, tightened, then relaxed, tightened— Paine realized she was staring and calmly cleared her throat.

Fierce green eyes locked onto her auburn ones. It surprised Paine a little. They were so vibrant, and alive, yet mysterious. A small bit of hazel hugged the center, but the green hue was defintaly not mistakable.

After a second the blonde seemed to recognize Paine. Her curious gaze fell to Paine's coffee. "Is that for me?" She asked her gaze flickering back to Paine.

"Uhm…" Paine looked a little confused but then got it, she almost smiled. "No." She held her coffee close to her body as if in emphasis.

"Oh…"

Silence.

"Look I just wanted to apologize about..um…what I said…yesterday…" Paine nodded to show that she was done rambling like an idiot but then she just opened her mouth again/ "I um, you were just trying to help, I didn't mean to insult you."

She held her breath for a second and watched the blonde closely.

"It's okay…." She nodded. "You seemed stressed I didn't, take it to heart."

Lie

She had cried for about thirty minutes straight in the ladies room.

Paine nodded feeling better. "Right..okay." Paine turned around.

"Won't you join me?"

Paine turned and wondered if she had heard her right. She was pretty sure she gave a half assed apology for calling this girl a slut and now she was inviting her to sit down? Just like that?

To make the point clear the blonde moved aside her book a little for Paine's things.

Paine couldn't help but sit. There was just something about this woman, she seemed like any other NLU student, snobby rich and or a blonde. But today with new eyes Paine couldn't help but see….well she didn't know what but it was there, there was something there.

"I'm Rikku." She introduced shyly.

"Paine." Paine placed her coffee cup down.

"I, I know."

"You do?"

Rikku began fiddling with the paper from her half eaten muffin. "I asked Sir Auro…uh Professor Guarrd. He said you were a good student…."

"With an IC." Paine said before should could think.

"Yeah see don't worry about that, he was just being grumpy I talked to him."

Paine stared at the girl across from her. "You didn't have to do that." She was capable of handling things on her own.

Rikku shrugged. "But I did so… be happy." Rikku looked down to her book and closed it. They were silent for at least three minutes.

"What uh…book is that?" Paine asked suddenly feeling very awkward sitting here with her.

Rikku looked down to the book. "Introduction to International Law?" She read.

Paine felt a small tug at her lips fight to show itself. "You don't even know."

Rikku shrugged again an effortless smile on her face. It fell though once they got quiet again. They actually finished their coffees and Paine checked her watch. "I should…go now. I have work."

"Oh…yeah…I have reading." She nodded.

Paine stood. "Um…bye." Paine felt she should do or say something but nothing came of the pregnant pause before turning on her way to leave.

"Bye." She heard from behind her as she quickly made her way out of the coffee shop.

Rikku watched her leave in a hurry. Either she was really going to be late for work or her attempt at making a new friend had failed terribly. She sighed and looked back to her text book. Sometimes she really and truly did not understand the things she did. Why would she even want to be friends with Paine? She had called her names… but had apologized in the cutest of ways. She lacked basic social conversational skills…. But for some reason her silence was enough. She was obviously here on some kind of scholarship… but that meant she was at least intelligent right? Rikku shook her head at herself.

"Y'know you have to actually open the book to get information out of it." Rikku quickly looked up to see a familiar face.

"Yunie." She smiled.

"Staring at it like that is going to make people talk." Yuna teased further as she took the seat across from her cousin. The brunteete pointed to the half eaten muffin. "May I?"

"Of course of course." Rikku pushed it toward her. Yuna was her fathers, sister child. They had always grown up knowing each other. They were more like siblings than anything.

"So." Yuna began after picking a larger piece of the muffin off and popping it into her mouth. "I just got a call from Monica, the girl in my accounting class, what do you say to a day off? Her Aunt is Renee Mante remember?"

Rikku nodded. "The fashion designer?" Yuna was a fashion Marketing major.

"That's the one, she is creating her Fall collection and wan't some fresh eyes."

"Isn't it Spring?"

Yuna chuckled lightly at her cousin the law student. "Fashion is always a few seasons ahead."

"Oh." Rikku chuckled. "That would be fun but…I have to study for this test."

Yuna's face fell slightly. "Oh, well… what about tonight? You're still coming over right?"

"Defiantly!" Rikku nodded. "We need to pick a movie already." Every once and a while the two girls would get to gether off of campus and watch a movie together, eat ridiculous amounts of junk food, and have some serious girl talk.

Yuna nodded happily again. "Oh so, how was that paper you had to write for Sir Auron's class? When I left you were on like, page five."

Rikku suddenly felt sick. "I uh, I finished."

"Good, because you know how Sir Auron is, he's only hard on you because he knows you." Yuna nodded.

Rikku reached into her bag for bottled water. She needed to get the taste out of her mouth before she really did throw up. "Yunie when you were taking his class did he ever—"

"Oh hold on." Yuna held up a finger and pulled out her cell phone that was vibrating like a…vibrator. Rikku almost wanted to chuckle at suspicious it seemed, especially of Yuna.

A week later Rikku found herself climbing the stairs of the Social sciences building. She had gotten a text saying that they needed to talk but that's what it always said and they seldom talked.

In the beginning it was terrifying yet exciting. Rikku could feel a rush of confidence course through her and she felt even more attractive than those models Yuna would help dress. But as the first semester progressed these steps got even steeper and by Spring Rikku was disgusted with herself. How on earth had she let herself become one of _those_ students? Cutting it off was not an option, Auron was a close friend and partner in her Uncle and fathers law firm, he had held this over her head multiple times when she refused. So she continued, hoping one day he would just get tired of her, they were mid way through the Spring semester and Rikku didn't see that happening any time soon.

It got to the point where she couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. Sometimes Rikku just wanted to hide away from it all. Just curl up and forget, maybe even get a new body that hadn't been touched by him. The situation was so fucked, and far gone that she missed the window of being able to tell someone. Ask for help. You'd like to believe that the window was always open; in fact they teach you that it was always open. But this was real life, and in the real world people could care less. So she swallowed her pride and confidence that people knew her best for, and knocked on the office door.

"Come in."

##

Paine clad in a black fitness top and black fighter shorts slipped out of her shoes and used a bar to stretch. She had just finished teaching her higher level class some new moves and was surprised at how it gave even her a work out. Her bare abdomen burned as she pulled out of the stretch. She began cleaning the room and getting it ready for the next spinning class when she heard the beginning of a light rain tap against the small window in the corner near the punching bag. She put her things and went to look at it. Did you ever wish you could be there when something actually started? When she was younger Paine would stay up just to watch the first peek of sunlight in the sky, or would fret that she missed the very first raindrop. She wasn't sure why she wondered these things, she just did, and now as a young adult nothing had changed. She was a little disappointed, yet still pleased that she caught the first real shower. Paine shook her head at her childishness and slipped her thermal on and then her shoes. She finished prepping the room for the next instructor and was about to leave when she went back to the window, mentally trying to figure out how wet she would get if she ran from the gym to the bus stop. She decided that cutting through the student parking lot her best bet. She always forgot her umbrella.

With a friendly wave to Tidus she left the gym and quickly made her way toward the parking lot. Her leather bag was tucked under her thermal as not to get it wet. It was as if Mother Nature knew about her little plan to out run it and the skies opened up pelting rain down harder and harder with each second until it was almost hard to see in front of you.

Paine sighed and just started walking; at least the rain wasn't too cold.

She maneuvered her way through the cars but stopped when she heard something.

"Fucking keys." Rikku gritted her teeth as tears easily fell down her cheeks mixing with the rain. She was glad she didn't have to hide them anymore. Was this even her car? Rikku checked the license plate quickly and groaned. Great, she had just keyed someone's car. She stopped what she was doing and let out a pitiful sounding noise. Why was her life such shit?

She seemed to be having some sort of breakdown Paine gathered and just like that her body began to move towards her.

_What am I doing?_

She said sorry, that was supposed to be that. Paine bit her lip and looked ahead to the bus stop.

She had her own problems.

**AN: Questions, Comments, Concerns... Reviews?**

**KathleenDee  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Well I don't see how that is possible since I paid—" Paine clenched her jaw as she was cut off yet again by the customer service representative.

She was walking from one class to another when she got a call from Elma saying something about the electricity bill. This happened almost every month without fail and it was really starting to piss Paine off.

It was a cool day, not hot but not cold. It was clear that spring was in full swing. The past winter had left little hope for a warm spring but today was an exception. Rikku had just left the Jambi juice with Yuna. "I'm tellin' you Yunie they are putting something in these, I drank a protein shake the other day and felt like I was on roids!"

Yuna chuckled. She adjusted the collar of her stylish spring coat. "What do you even know about taking steroids Rikku?" They were done with classes for the day and Yuna had somehow talked Rikku into going to the library for the remainder of the day.

Rikku hopped in front of Yuna a grin on her face and began walking backwards through the quad. She had been a great mood recently, because her father and all his associates were out of town for a few days. This meant no nagging father, which meant no encounters with Auron, which meant bliss. For a few days she was allowed to remember what it was like to just be a college student. "Cause I just know! Yunie I'm telling you I could lift up a couch or something!"

Yuna chuckled and took a sip through her pink straw. "Did you take your pills this morning?"

"I crushed em up and put them in my smoothie." Rikku joked still walking backwards. She was going to turn around when something behind Yuna caught her eyes, she stopped.

"Are you crashing already?" Yuna asked stopping in front of her cousin. She quickly turned to see what had her friend so transfixed. "What?" Yuna furrowed a brow trying to see what she was but all she could see was the usual crowd of student meandering about.

Rikku shook her head. "Nothing." She turned around abruptly and trotted forward sipping her smoothie and chatting away as if nothing had happened.

##

"I saw you today."

Paine looked around the empty isle in the nonfiction section. Was she hearing things?

Yeah she was a little tired but this tired?

"Paine."

"Yes?" Paine furrowed a brow. She could hear a giggle and then heard some shuffling behind a few books in front of her. She reached forward and pulled a book away. Paine could only explain away the tight feeling in her chest as annoyance as her eyes met vibrant green ones across the tops of a few old books.

Rikku leaned forward on her tip toes from the other isle. "I saw you today."

"Are you stalking me?" Paine asked quietly. I mean they were in the library after all. Rikku obviously didn't care or didn't know the rules.

"No." Rikku said simply.

A few seconds passed as the two looked at each other through the bookshelf. Paine was wondering what was wrong with this girl; Rikku was giving Paine time to move her thoughts around. It seemed she needed it.

"Okaayy." Paine said slowly before putting the book back between them and continuing on her search for a reference for a paper. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the blonde come down the aisle and pretend to look at Art History books on the shelves behind her.

They stayed like that; pretending to not know each other. This would become the game that they played.

They didn't know each other though. Paine reasoned to herself squinting acutely to read the name of an author.

Rikku glanced over her shoulder at Paine looking for a book. Somehow she didn't seem like the type to not know where things were. She did a little victory dance at the thought that the stoic girl was stalling. Why was she dancing though? Rikku made a face at the books in front of her. That was a really good question. She wasn't sure if it were really an important one though.

Paine finally decided to just say something. She was never one for beating around the bush. "Aren't you a law major?"

"Huh?" Rikku asked turning to Paine clad in worn jeans and gray long sleeved sweater. Yuna would not approve she thought to herself with a small chuckle. "Well…yeah."

Paine couldn't understand why she felt so uncomfortable. She bit her lip and continued though. She had to learn how to talk to people without getting into a fight anyway. Why not throw this girl a bone. She seemed…okay. Paine shrugged to herself.

"This is the Art History section."

"I can't take electives?"

"I guess you can do whatever you want."

Silence

"Are you an Art History major?"

"No."

"Minor?"

"No."

"So what the hell?" Rikku laughed. "You have no right being here as much as I do."

Paine couldn't help but chuckle. "Guess not." She turned back to the bookcase.

"I saw you the other day too, in the parking lot." Paine ventured. The silence she was met with said it was a bad idea.

Rikku stared in front of her biting the inside of her cheek. "Yeah… well don't tell anyone okay?"

It was meant to be a joke about her keying someone else's car but it came out quite sincere. They glanced at each other before looking back in front of them.

"Who would I tell?" Paine reassured. She shrugged to herself. She finally picked up the book she had been looking for and looking at for the entire conversation. "Bye Rikku." Paine mumbled waving the book a little to say she had found her book and was now departing.

Rikku smiled and it stopped Paine a little. "Bye Paine." She waved.

"What took you so long?" Yuna questioned in a whisper once Rikku returned to the small study table.

"I uh, got lost." Rikku nodded. She glanced over her shoulder.

##

Paine hugged her jacket closer to her body as she walked home that night; the weight of her library book a constant reminder of her and the strange encounter with this Rikku girl.

She had felt a little nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach ever since that day when she left her in the rain.

Left her?

No Paine didn't leave her; she was never even with her how could she have left her? Like somehow she was obligated to stop and see if she was okay. Paine shook her head and pulled out her keys.

"We're making a curry." Nooj announced once Paine entered the shabby apartment. The verbal notification really wasn't necessary as the pungent aroma of spices filled the air. Paine let up a little smile for her roommates.

Nooj was actually wearing clothes today. A sea foam green headband kept his long brown hair out of place. If she didn't know him she would have thought him ridiculous but really that was just Nooj.

He stood in front of the slightly off balance electric stove with a large wooden spoon in hand and a soft grin on his face.

"Correction, I am making a curry. These three are just driving me nuts, thank god you are home." Elma sent Paine a grateful smile.

Paine shook her head with amusement and rested her leather messenger bag down on the sofa. "Haven't seen you in a while." She jested. Paine swore every time she saw Elma she looked different. The short woman was always in her room or never home, she seldom came out for anything but what Gippal liked to call "family functions". From what she gathered from their late night run ins in the kitchen was that she went to a local college studying in the medical field, she liked to put cherries in her coffee and could never decide on a hair color. She was also the only other female roommate so naturally there was an understanding. Paine noted that her hair was a deep brown today.

"Aye I cut half diss stuff ya?" A rather tall man with a thick accent spoke. He was wearing a sleeveless blue shirt and had a head of fiery red hair, styled with gel.

Elma turned to the taller man. "Are you kidding me Wakka? Gippal did most of the cutting, you…" She jabbed his flat stomach with the blunt edge of a butter knife. "You did all of the eating."

"Yeah that's why Dr. P has to go down the block and get more carrots for this thing." Gippal spoke up, he was shirtless for some reason, Paine stopped asking after a month of living here.

"Send Nooj." Paine said finally sitting down on a kitchen stool and watching her misshapen little family try to create something for dinner.

"I'm busy, Gippal just go."

"What!" Gippal looked around and then fixed his eyes on Wakka. "No way it's cold out there."

"Put a shirt on." The four other roommates said in remarkable unison.

Gippal blinked for a second as they started laughing. Paine sighed before getting up. She shook her head and reached for her things. "Fine I'll go."

"Wait Paine." Nooj turned from the larger pot and stuffed his hands into his pocket. "Get some wine?"

By the time the curry was finished Paine was already feeling warm and fuzzy all over. Their apartment was filled with music and the five of them chatting away. She liked it that way. The common misconception was that she rather be alone.

Paine didn't want to be alone; she wanted to be left alone.

After dinner she retired earlier than the others to her room. She flicked on the light and closed the door behind her, a small uncharacteristic smile in place remembering the jokes Wakka and Gippal cranked out after their fourth glass each. Even though they were nothing like the families in the movies Paine wouldn't trade hers. It was odd, most of the foster families she had lived with throughout the years never felt like this, no matter the new clothes or the toys or gifts nor the well meaning hugs. None ever felt as real, and although they were all poor reformed hoods Paine wouldn't trade it for all the diamonds in the heights.

A faint clanking brought Paine out of her wine induced euphoria. That was most likely Gippal and Nooj on the roof for a spiff. A second after she could hear voices in the hall then two doors close. Elma and Wakka were never too far behind Paine. Wakka was on scholarship for blitzball at NLU and was hardly ever around, but when he was his boisterous laughter and warmth filled the place like Christmas. It was just that infectious.

Paine lazily stripped down to her underwear and stared at her messenger bag, the library book poking out just enough to remind her about her assignments. She grabbed the book and got under her thin covers and opened it.

Though Christmas lived down the hall, the reality of the world was simple. She couldn't afford to smell the flowers like others; there was no room for error, no room for failure.

##

Rikku cursed to herself as she rushed down the empty corridor toward the main lecture hall. It was a breezy Monday morning and she couldn't believe her luck of all the classes to be running late to, why _his_?

She was never late to class believe it or not. She was never late and for some reason her stomach turned with the thought of being late now.

As she slowed her pace her thin silky scarf Yuna got her slowed and fell behind her like a tail. Rikku adjusted her pink tank top and took a deep breath. She could hear his voice from outside.

Paine was glaring, she knew she was. She could feel her face just set and there was no changing it. For the life of her she couldn't understand why though. Usually she enjoyed this class. This was Professor Gaurrd's first day back, and the substitutes thus far had been a bore, Maybe she could ask him about her grade after… but not if she was sitting here in the fifth row in direct eye level, glaring.

Paine shifted in her seat and began to chew on her pen.

"Ethics, like I was saying before I left is all about—"

"Sorry." A small voice called causing everyone including Paine to look up toward the far corner of class where the entrance was. A slim blonde quickly tried to make her way to an empty seat without being noticed. Her colorful bangles clinking rapidly with each quicken step and her loud look at me outfit made this impossible.

Auron Gaurrd gave the younger woman a stern look as she walked by in her pink tank top and shorts. "Ms Bayla you are aware of when my classes begin correct?"

Rikku nodded as she climbed the steps of the lecture hall. Paine watched him watch her. "Must we discuss your class participation grade again?" Rikku sent him an annoyed look over her shoulder as she sat beside a snowy hair boy. Professor Gaurrd adjusted his tie and turned back to his lecture notes.

##

His touch was urgent. Rikku glued her eyes closed and tried to go somewhere else as he pulled her legs around his waist. She could feel the bulge in his pants press against her thigh.

"Late on my first day back?" He asked in a hushed growl. He used a free hand to push a few things on his desk aside and used the other to guide Rikku's back down upon it. "I think you need to be punished…"

##

Paine shook her head as she walked down the steps of the recreation center. "Gip what the hell?" She rounded the corner and headed toward the bus stop. It was still Monday and she had just finished her afternoon self defense class and her last lecture was canceled so she decided to just head home. "What do you mean she locked it?"

"I mean what I mean Dr. P, either Ems has lost it…or she's lost it! I swear to fucking—"

"Alright calm down, I'll be home in an hour or so.."

"I swear I'll kick the door in."

"Shut up and don't do tha—" Paine's body suddenly collided with someone else's sending her cell phone flying out of her hand. "What the hell?" Paine asked looking from her dismantled cell phone and then up at the culprit. "Again really? Do you ever look where you are going?" It came out a little harsher than she intended.

But like always she didn't notice, or just ignored it. "Look where I'm going! You were the one who was distracted, I should sue you!"

Paine bit back a laugh. "You don't even know what classes you are taking."

Rikku mumbled something about the Bar and that's when Paine noticed Rikku had dropped a black leather bond book. She leaned down to pick it up and was surprised at how quickly Rikku grabbed it out of her hands. "Uh, thanks." She adjusted her scarf and looked elsewhere. "Is it broken?" She asked after a second of pulling herself together. She was a little on edge today.

Paine had picked up her phone by now and was clipping the battery back in place. "Yeah I guess. You should be lucky though, anyone else would have made you buy them a new one."

Despite her mood Rikku grinned a little. "Well then in that case I'm glad it was some push over like you."

"Ha." Paine shook her head her smile not escaping Rikku. The two began walking in the same direction towards the student parking lot in a surprisingly comfortable silence.

"So I thought I saw you the other day, at the gym. Yunie and I went—"

"What's a Yunie?" Paine asked.

Rikku laughed. "Well she is my cousin, Yuna."

"Oh." Paine nodded. "You always see me, where this time?"

Rikku shrugged. "I mean I thought it was you, but it was only for a second, do you take a class in the rec?"

"Something like that." Paine shrugged. "I'm an instructor."

Rikku jumped a little at that. "Get out, really? What do you teach?"

"Self defense and some martial arts variations."

Rikku nodded. "So you could totally take down some bad guys."

"Bad guys?" Paine made a face. "Sure." They slowed down and Rikku started digging for her keys. "Wait, you sure this one is yours?" Paine asked only half joking.

Rikku chuckled and pointed to the back seat where a stuffed baby alligator sat. "That's Mo, and unless he has gotten smart enough to unbuckle his belt and unlock the doors then I think this one is mine." She proved it by automatically unlocking her little white car. "I would offer to walk you to your car…but you can handle yourself better than I could handle both of us." Rikku joked. "Are you a black belt?"

Paine only nodded. "I never got why people drove in the city."

"What else would I do? Take the bus?"

"I take the bus."

"Oh…well y'know I didn't mean anything by it lots of people take the bus I—"

Paine put her hand up. "It's okay." She looked off to where the bus stop was. "I'd better go."

"Oh! Do you need a ride?"

Paine shifted her weight a little. "Uh no.."

Rikku's smile fell. Was it something she said? "Oh, well…okay…." Paine was about to turn away and leave when Rikku spoke. "Are you hungry?" For some reason she didn't want to be alone right now. She didn't want to cry, she was tired of crying.

"Hungry?" Paine looked at her a little confused.

Rikku smiled. "Well yeah y'know like food, you do eat don't you?"

For some odd reason Paine found herself walking along 8th avenue beside Rikku on their way to a well known Pizzeria. She agreed to leave her things in Rikku's car since Donte's was a short walk from campus.

"What about… communication?"

Rikku was currently trying to guess Paine's major.

"Do I look like a communication major to you?"

Rikku laughed and waved her off. "No that's right, coffee was a bust."

"It was a little….weird." Paine would never say awkward because then, like now, it just wasn't. Rikku was a little out there yes but fairly easy to talk to. Paine never had to guess what she was thinking like with most people, she just said it and that was that.

"Hmm." Rikku put her hand to her chin. "Why won't you just tell me?"

"Because you making that guessing face is too funny."

Rikku chuckled and tried to change her face. "Medicine…"

"You think I'd be leaving school at three?" Paine asked as they neared the pizzeria. She had been there once or twice, the pizza was good and cheap and whenever the owner wasn't in some guy in the back would sell beer to whoever wanted.

Paine screwed up her face as Rikku began to order. "…and jelly bean oh! But not the yellow ones." She nodded then turned to Paine. "Those ones are gross; I don't know how anyone eats them."

"I don't know how anyone eats jelly beans on their pizza."

"It's not that bad." Rikku said reaching into her purse for her designer wallet.

Paine fished in her back pocket for a five to pay for her slice and a cherry coke. After they got their pizza Rikku motioned to a worn booth near the front window of the place.

"Y'know…" Rikku began as she folded her slice and let the greasy fat drip onto the paper plate. Paine watched as a few jelly beans fell in the process. "You look mean…"

"I get that a lot." Paine admitted.

"But I don't think you are." Rikku continued after taking a petite bite from the greasy mess in her hands.

Paine shook her head. "You don't know me." She had done some pretty messed up things before.

"Yeah well you don't know me."

"So we don't know each other." Paine reached for a napkin and dabbed at some excess grease on her lips. "Now what?"

"We should become friends."

"No." Piane shook her head at the idea.

Rikku's face fell. "What, why not?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't want anymore friends."

"Oh so you have a lot now do you?"

"No but I am sure you do."

Rikku sighed. "Not a lot of real ones."

It was quiet for a second. Rikku's words making Paine think a little. She couldn't understand it. Rikku had to have plenty of friends. Friends with money and cars and. Paine stopped herself, that was rather stereotypical of her. After taking a sip of her coke she turned and looked out the smudgy glass window of Donte's.

Rikku took the time to actually study Paine's face. The light from the outside casted a veil of light on her face; softening her features even more and illuminating her warm auburn eyes. Rikku came to the conclusion that she was beautiful. Not at all like the surface beauty that people said she possessed. It was different. Rikku wondered what had happened to her. There was just something about her that seemed… damaged?

For a while they just sat there in silence both eating and sipping away calmly.

"I didn't know you were in my lecture." Paine finally mentioned. She felt compelled to talk around this girl. It was weird.

"Which one?" Rikku questioned.

"Professor Gaurrds."

"Oh." Rikku didn't want to talk about that. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Being in my class?"

"Professor Guarrd."

"Oh." Paine nodded. It was then that she put two and two together and decided to shut her mouth on the matter. She bit the inside of her mouth and stared at the other woman across from her.

"Psychology."

"What?"

"Because I have a feeling you are trying to figure me out right now with that look on your face."

"Right." Paine chuckled. "No by the way, not psychology."

The two soon fell into what seemed to be normal conversation or them. Neither giving too much away but both equally engaged. Joe the waiter had refilled their cokes and by the time Paine chose to look at her phone to get the time she realized that she had never actually turned it back on since the battery fell out. It was around five in the evening and the two felt it as they stepped out of Donte's. The air was chilly and the occasional breeze would come by and sweep past them causing Paine's hair to get in her eyes. Rikku watched as she quickly pulled a warm hand out of her jacket to brush it away.

"That's why you need one of these." Rikku pointed to her blue head band. "Or lots of gel."

"Are you not cold?" Paine asked incredulously as she looked Rikku up in down. She was still in shorts and a tank top. Her scarf wrapped firmly around her now instead of free and flowing like it had been earlier in the day.

"Yeah a little." Rikku shrugged. If she were honest she would say the cold air was just what she liked. It woke her up; it was pleasant yet harsh to feel again.

Paine pulled her jacket closer to her body briefly wondering how warm she would be without it. They made it back onto campus and Paine watched as Rikku pulled her leather messenger bag out of her back seat. "See Mo kept it safe." Rikku handed it to Paine who then hung it over her shoulders. "Are you sure you don't need a lift, I wouldn't mind."

"No really, it's fine." Paine nodded.

Rikku looked a little apprehensive but then decided that Paine wasn't one to be forced. "Okay. Well I still need to figure it out."

"Figure it out?"

"You're major." Rikku chuckled.

Paine shook her head. "It's—"

"No!" Rikku jumped up and moved her hands to cover Paine's mouth in attempt to prevent further speech. They both froze at the contact. Rikku wasn't sure what she had just done but from the frozen almost deer in headlights look in Paine eyes and the strange feeling in her belly she knew she had done something.

"Rikku darling!"

Rikku quickly pulled her hand away brushing Paine's lips lightly in the process causing the other girl to shiver.

"Uh Hey LeBlanc…hi." Rikku managed in weird tone that caused Paine to raise an eyebrow.

"Look honey, I won't be home until—The curvy woman stopped and looked at Paine standing beside Rikku. "Who is this?"

"Uh…" Rikku turned to Paine for some help.

"Paine nice to mee—" Paine began but was cut off by a hand in her face.

Seriously, people still did talk to the hand?

Rikku winced. "Not important." Leblanc turned to Rikku. "Your father called and said he wanted you around for dinner tonight." She stepped in between Paine and Rikku with her back to Paine.

"Okay then." Paine shrugged and turned to leave. She really wanted to kick this woman's ass but that would have looked bad. Rikku watched her go opening her mouth to say something but not being able to.

"What the hell?" Rikku asked.

"What?" Leblanc look genuinely confused.

Juliann Leblanc was a mess of a lawyer that worked for her father and was actually on the alumni board and taught one of Rikku's classes. Ever since Moma Bayla passed away five years ago she had slowly rooted herself into her fathers lap. Rikku wasn't sure what the real relationship was but someone was getting something somewhere. She would have been less annoying to Rikku if she hadn't had complete control over her father and talked like a normal person.

Leblanc followed Rikku's eyes and huffed. "What that? Really did you see the way she was dressed? What were you even doing talking to her?"

Rikku rolled her eyes at Leblanc and watched Paine's figure disappear the few fingers that grazed her lips still tingling just a little. "She was dressed fine, and why didn't he just call me?"

"Because my dear your phone was off." Leblanc flipped her short and choppy blonde hair.

Rikku nodded, it made sense she always turned her phone off before going to see Auron.

"Oh check if you still have it, you never know with those types darling."

Rikku made a face. "what types!" She was starting to get upset now. There wasn't anything wrong with the way Paine dressed she thought as she rummaged through her bag for her keys. "I don't know what men see in you." Paine seemed nice, Leblanc didn't even know her. Somewhere in Rikku head she wondered why she had taken a liking to the other girl. On days when she and Auron _talked_ she didn't want to talk or interact with anyone, and here just like that they had went to lunch and actually had an okay time. Why did it matter what the hell she was wearing?

Rikku ignored Leblanc's blown kiss as she got into her car and decided on a drive. It always cleared her mind. Dinner at her house was promptly served at six but Rikku didn't care to be there. She missed her Pops, sometimes he was the only one to really understand her, but now a days she never saw him, or when she did he was with either Auron or Leblanc and that was like picking her own poison.

Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter Rikku took a turn onto the interstate. She thought about maybe turning on the radio but changed her mind.

"I'm such an idiot." She mumbled as she remembered the incident that happened not even a half hour ago. Why couldn't she just say something? Why did the quick need to cover something up come as soon as Leblanc appeared? She just let her leave... That wasn't what Rikku was about. She chuckled bitterly at the thought of having self morals. She was sleeping with a college professor yet thought it wrong when people stereotyped or discriminated. Who was she to tell anyone what to do?

Suddenly a low hum could be heard coming from the console in between her and the empty passenger seat. Rikku ignored the call as she drove on: watching the sky turn from a soft grayish blue to a dark blue.

##

Paine felt stupid.

Stupid and angry

Stupid, angry and maybe just a little hurt.

She really should have known better, but the fact that it was bothering her so much just upset her more.

Being nice was overrated.

Why when it opened you up to feeling so….

Paine tried her best to shrug off the feeling as she stepped off of the bus. It was around 7 at night now and all she could think about on the ride home were three things.

Her great contempt for everything the Heights represented the stupid bubble gum she had stepped in on her way to the bus top, and _her_ hands.

**AN: I really didn't expect to get any reviews so when I did they literally made my day and are my motivation in writing more. Thank you Thank you Thank you! So stick with me here I'm just setting everything up.  
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**KathleenDee**


	3. Chapter 3

**Update! I've been trying to fix the scene separation for three chapters now! lol Please bare with me.  
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**Chapter Three**

Paine ran a hand through her hair.

"Oh no, I know that one." Gippal bit back a laugh as he handed Paine the spiff in his hand.

Paine gladly took it. Usually she only smoked when she was stressed. She found herself on the roof a lot more now a days than ever before. She took a deep breath in and held it for a while.

"How's the restaurant?" She asked after a slow exhale.

Gippal only laughed. "You don't fool me."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, so what the fuck has got you all…" Gippal shrugged.

Paine was quiet for a while. Her hazy eyes trailed to the ground several stories beneath them. It was a chilly Thursday night and Paine briefly wondered when it would start getting warm at night again. "When we were younger…"

"Ah hell Dr. P if I wanted to think about back then I'd rent a fucking time machine." Gippal grumbled He leaned his forearms onto the railing and dug his left foot into the concrete.

"I thought you wanted to know what was on my mind?" Paine asked in amused manner as she passed the joint back to Gippal who gladly took it.

Gippal looked off to where a loud horn was heard and the sound of screeching breaks. It was just another noise to them now. "Well hell…"

She knew that was her cue to continue. Paine adjusted her hoody. "Do you remember Baralai?"

"What your little boyfriend?" Gippal chuckled.

Paine rolled her eyes at their childhood friend. Gippal had always thought Paine and Baralai had a thing, What Paine and Baralai really had was an understanding. "He moved remember?"

"Yeah, now he lives in the Heights, his Pop's struck it rich or something right? Never looked back, fuck him." Gippal began biting his nails.

Paine smiled softly at her friend. He had always done that when he was feeling insecure. "But why?"

"Why what?"

"Why fuck him?"

Gippal straightened up a little. "Why not Dr. P? We both know where his Pops got that money, mans crooked, and now he's livin' up in the Heights signing off on taxes or some shit so everyone but the wealthy have to pay, he screwed us down here, in my book that's a huge fuck him. You know everyone up there has some kind of agenda.

"You really think so?" Paine asked challengingly. She could see Gippal was getting upset. "Everyone?"

"Yeah, and if they don't then they will. You see Lai coming down here to do something or change something? Nah he's too busy fucking going sailing and drinking 50 year old cognac."

Paine sighed and pulled her hoody over her head as a breeze passed. "Yeah but _everyone_ there?"

"Just like down here Dr. P, only difference is they got a lil change to throw around. We have our ideas and they have theirs. It's just how we all were raised, and no hand outs gonna change that, no march for unity or nothing is gonna change that." Gippal shook his head. "Man I'm hungry, you hungry?"

Paine shrugged. "Yeah."

"I'll be right back, hold this." He passed her the spiff and stuffed his hands in his hoody pockets as he made his way back to the roof entrance.

The clattering of the iron door told Paine that she was left with her thoughts now. She hadn't seen Rikku since Monday, but with the way that girl saw her all over without Paine knowing she probably saw her by now.

She had to have right? It was annoying that she was thinking so much about this girl.

She had her opinions, but they had to be in some way bias. Right? Rikku seemed different. Paine shook her head a little. Maybe not seeing her was a good idea. She wasn't sure but there was something that was telling her just to mind her own business and stay away.

##

"Since when?"

"Since she asked me to walk Rikku have you not been listening to a word I've been saying?" Yuna asked excitedly as they entered the recreation center around five. It was their last stop before she and Yuna would go over to Rikku's second home, which was Yuna's house. Yuna had been going on and on about being asked to be a model for a school benefit her and her classmates were throwing and now she was stressing about being "fit" enough for it.

"Yunie it's not like fashion week or anything, plus you look great." Rikku offered her cousin a smile and Yuna smiled back but then quickly left her side to speak to a blonde man at the front desk. Rikku sighed. They would be here a little while.

Somewhere nearby Rikku heard loud rap music. She stole a glance at Yuna and noticed how her posture had changed so that she was leaning more on the desk and how her hand was in her hair. Yes they would be here a while.

She started to wonder towards where the music was coming from. She didn't recognize the song but it sounded angry. Rikku wondered how this person was allowed to play such loud vulgar lyrics on campus. She neared an instruction room where the noise was coming from and noticed that the door was cracked and there were two people sparing. One taller muscular red headed boy wearing pads and a shorter…woman?

Both were barefoot and the guy was wearing a backwards baseball cap and a sleeveless black work out shirt. "NLU Blitz" was written in faded blue block letters. He was wearing baby blue basketball shorts and arm pads that were trying to block furious kicks and barely gloved fists.

"C'mon Dr. P." The boy could be barely heard egging the woman on while bobbing his head to the base of the song.

"Argh!" She kicked knocking the boy back a little. She had deep dark grayish black hair that had fallen in front of her face and seemed to be a little damp as the rest of her firm pale body. She was wearing short fighting shorts revealing long toned legs and a sports bra.

"That it?" The boy jested stealing a knock in the head with his pad. "C'mon!"

Rikku found herself extremely curious. She had heard about people training like this but never actually seen someone with such, ferocity as this girl. She seemed upset. Rikku had managed to slip further into the room.

The two separated for a second to dance around one another and Rikku found herself staring at the woman that had been on her mind since she so stupidly let her walk away Monday.

Paine was sweating into her eyes so she barely noticed someone enter the room. All she saw was Wakka's padded gloves, and all she heard was the music. It was the only way to get out these urges; it was the only way to resort from losing her cool so many times a day.

She had started fighting at a very young age; she had to survive and yes it sounded a little dramatic but when you actually lived in juvenile center it was the only way to get any kind of respect. Paine had always been a misunderstood child. The rage started there and continued as she moved from foster home and back to the center 14 times within 10 years. She didn't talk but when she did she had an attitude that needed to be corrected and no one could handle her.

She remembered how it would eat at her like some kind of animal growing from within. It really took a turn for the worst when she was almost raped in the one place she felt safe. That was it for Paine, She trusted no one and got into countless fights and drugs in high school. Someone finally took notice of her and suggested anger management, who suggested alternative ways to output all this energy, and thus years later she was a lot calmer and happier than she had ever been.

When she fought now it was for little Paine who was still very much angry at the world for dealing such a lonely and crappy hand in this thing called life. Sometimes after training she would just sit in the locker room and cry and then shower and be completely fine. It was her therapy.

Paine bobbed and stepped into the small circle s ahend Wakka have created and started with a few jabs and then a swift sideways kick making loud pop on the side of Wakka's glove.

"Ay you getting a lil close there ya?" He chuckled. Paine continued anyway backing Wakka up slightly. "Alright alright." He used the pads to effortlessly push Paine back a few steps. "That's all you got ya? Lemmie see dem kicks up here." Wakka raised the glove high in the air and Rikku was surprised at the accuracy and flexibility of her legs. Paine hopped back gaining her balance after the fourth kick, a wicked grin on her red face that fell when she finally noticed someone else in the room.

Wakka seemed to notice her distraction and said something Rikku couldn't hear because the hook of the loud song had finally swung around and played. Paine's eyes were deep in color and unreadable but she seemed annoyed at what Wakka had to say. She straightened her posture from her fighters stance and walked over to the docking station to turn off the music.

"Dat's it den ya?"

Paine nodded.

The tall boy nodded and took off his gloves to take off his cap and run a hand through his red hair. "See ya home."

"Yeah, thanks Wakka." Paine nodded. Wakka gave her a smile and tossed her his gloves which Paine quickly caught. Rikku had to laugh a little at how she had almost dropped everything.

Paine looked back at Rikku as Wakka left the room. She sighed and then put the pads down near a duffle bag Rikku suspected was hers. Paine leaned over and got a water bottle out. "What are you doing here?" She asked before taking a few sips.

"Yunie is obsessing over her image for this show…" She trailed off wondering if she should explain further. "She's a fashion student…"

Paine nodded slowly. The room was quiet again

"I wanted to say sorry actually…." Rikku began before she lost her nerve. She had thought a lot about this. She wasn't sure why, but it had weighed heavy on her mind.

"For?" She asked.

_Sorry? She wanted to say sorry?_

"Leblanc…" Rikku watched a confused look on Paine's face. The blood that had rushed there during her fighting was now leaving traveling down to her chest Rikku tried not to follow it. "Monday, that woman, trust me we aren't related." Rikku tried to laugh it off.

"But you are…" Paine reasoned. The confused look on Rikku's face was endearing. She sighed and bent to pick up her things. "Whatever fine."

"Whatever?" I just said sorry though." Rikku didn't get how Paine didn't see the grand gesture here.

"Yeah whatever, you want me to make a big deal out of it or what?" Paine asked. She thought she could come in here dressed all nice and demand forgiveness for being one of them? Paine shook her head at the notion. Her bare feet padded across the shiny wood floor of the workout room and for a second it was the only thing either of them heard.

"You could be nicer about it." Rikku grumbled watching her collecting her things and stuffing it into the bag over her shoulders.

"Why?" Paine finally stopped what she was doing and looked at Rikku.

"Why?"

"Yeah why do I have to be nice?"

Rikku was starting to regret coming in here. She didn't know what kind of question that was. Why should people be nice? It was like asking why the sky was blue. "What kind of question is that?"

Paine shrugged. "A good one, because you can't come up with an answer can you. I have to be nice because you say so?"

"That doesn't mean it's a good question, it doesn't even have an answer!"

"Why do all life's questions have to have an answer?"

"Philosophy?" Rikku tilted her head cutely waiting for a response.

Paine actually broke into a little smile at the random word. She zipped her bag up and began walking out of the room. "No." She was meant to be mad at her, Paine couldn't remember why suddenly though. Maybe she should really stop smoking with Gippal, he was putting thoughts into her head, because right now she was smiling, and you didn't just smile at people you were supposed to be mad at. The reasons that had once made sense seemed completely foolish.

This was confusing…

Rikku caught the smile. "Wait."

Paine turned. "What?"

"So… are we friends?"

Paine shook her head no but spoke differently. "I'll think about it." And with that she turned and headed for the locker rooms.

Rikku was left there for a second with a grin on her face. She rubbed the side of her cheek and then put her hands to her face. Lord almightily was she just checking her out? She was pretty sure she was…

"Rikku?" Yuna's voice could be heard coming down the hall.

"In here!" The blonde called out through the slightly propped door.

"Hey." Yuna smiled at her cousin and then paused. "What you decided for a quick work out, you're all red." She chuckled.

Rikku put her hands to her warm cheeks again. She laughed a little. "No I just…hey so I think we should take a class here or something."

"You think so?" Yuna fully entered the room and looked around. "I don't know Rikku I just want to get a little more in shape I don't think I have time for an actual class."

"Yeah it'll be great; we don't have to go to every class."

Yuna promised she would think about it if Rikku promised to keep her little crush on the guy at the front desk a secret.

##

"Hey friend." Rikku grinned sliding into the seat beside Paine in the large lecture hall Monday morning. Paine causally turned to look at her. She almost had to wince because of the bright colors she was wearing. She did smell nice though, Paine shook her head at her last thought.

"I didn't say we were friends." She reminded her looking back to her notebook.

"Not yet anyway." Rikku chimed getting her things out.

Paine glared at the pink pen with the frilly yellow top. It looked like an anorexic treasure troll.

"And if I don't want to be your friend?" Paine asked. The class was still filing in; Professor Gaurrd hadn't even entered the room yet.

Rikku was too busy taking a notebook out to really care what kind of negative comment Paine was making. "So what did you do this weekend?"

Paine was quiet for a second as Rikku got herself situated; she really hoped she wasn't the type to talk during lecture. She had moved her seat several times just to get away from the loud whispering about how "crazy" their weekends were, or how "screwed" they were when their parents found out they took their fathers favorite car out and wrecked it.

"I don't normally talk about my weekends with friends."

Rikku had already started doodling. She put the treasure troll pen down and looked at Paine. "So…we're friends then?" She sent a grin Paine's way.

"Why do you want to be my friend so badly?"

"Why don't you want to be my friend so badly?"

"You talk too much."

"You don't talk enough."

Paine sighed loudly causing Rikku to giggle. She sat back in her chair and weighed her options before speaking again.

"I spent the weekend controlling my roommates from starting a bathroom war."

"A bathroom war?" Rikku asked trying not to show her excitement. She had to play it cool.

"We share one, the four of us—"

"Four people!"

"Let me guess you have your own?" Paine asked not at all surprised.

Rikku noticed her error and shrugged "So what happened?"

"Elma locked the guys out." Paine informed but straightened her posture when she noticed Professor Guarrd had arrived and had been eyeing the two while setting up for class. Rikku followed Paine's eyes and straightened up as well.

30 minutes into the lecture Paine found herself playing the guessing game.

She tilted her head slightly as Professor Guarrd's voice was slightly muffled by her thoughts.

Paine had found herself intently watching Rikku small left hand as it shaded in dark eyes. The blonde was completely oblivious to everything around her it seemed.

It wasn't at all surprising that she wasn't paying attention to lecture. They were high enough in seating where they didn't have to stare directly at Professor Gaurd to seem like they were listening. Paine could look around her right now and find several students watching movies on their laptops or completing other assignments. They met once a week which meant one extremely long lecture on Mondays. Paine looked down to her own paper to see a few notes scribbled then back to Rikku's.

She was left handed, Paine noticed this a few minutes ago when she realized Rikku was clutching a small pink eraser in her right hand but what she really found interesting was how well she was drawing, how detailed, and almost anal she seemed about shading in a certain area; determined to get it just right. She was also now using a smudgy pencil.

She was good, really good and Paine wondered if she knew it.

"…And that is where I will stop. Remember you're grades will be posted online after four for the term paper, some of you did rather well, others… didn't and I suppose I'll be seeing you in the fall." Professor Guarrd went behind the podium to turn off his slide show while the hundreds of kids piled out of the room.

Paine began gathering her things but stopped when the blonde beside her made no sign of getting up.

Paine nudged Rikku lightly and she looked up curiously; her lips quirking into a little smile upon seeing Paine, like she had forgotten she was sitting next to her.

"Class is over." Paine announced.

"Oh." Rikku looked down at her drawing wondering if she really wanted to stop drawing or not. She wasn't done but she knew if she were the last to leave Auron would pull her aside. "What did we learn today?" She asked with a chuckle as she closed her notebook.

Paine shook her head but humored the girl. "Well Professor Guarrd was talking about…" She paused, she didn't know either. Was she really spaced out the entire lecture?

Rikku waited patiently as she put her things away and stood, Paine followed after. As the two descended Paine noticed how Rikku moved a little closer to her and stayed on her left side. She also noticed the glances Auron gave her as she shuffled out of the room.

Paine said nothing as they exited into the main corridor and Rikku didn't return to her normal walking distance. She could occasionally feel a soft tassel of hair or the brush of her bangles against her own arm and Paine wondered why she hadn't freaked out yet.

She didn't like people touching her.

"So you don't know then… you know I'm starting to think you are a hypocrite." Rikku teased. "I don't know if I can be friends with a hypocrite."

Paine chuckled. "Good."

"You know I'm wondering if you just are afraid."

"I'm not afraid of anything." Paine said seriously. They were taking the stairs down to the ground floor with about fifty other students.

"Psshh. Nothing?" Rikku chuckled.

"I'm serious." Paine admitted making Rikku only laugh harder. She wasn't kidding why did she find it so funny? Paine adjusted her messenger bag on her shoulder a little annoyed.

"Spiders?"

"No."

"The dark?"

"No."

"Clowns…Snakes! Snakes freak me out." Rikku visibly shook just thinking about it.

"Nope and no."

Rikku shook her head not believing the other girl. Everyone was afraid of something; whether it be as simple as spiders or snakes or as layered and complex as being alone or maybe even death. Rikku was sure her new friend was afraid of something. She was training like her life depended on it the other day, she was scared.

Rikku ran a hand through her hair and decided not to voice her observation. "Do you wanna go to Jambi Juice?"

Paine shook her head. "I'm not paying five dollars for a smoothie the size of a pudding cup."

"They're not that small! God you are so dramatic."

"Me?" Paine raised an eyebrow at Rikku who giggled. "Plus I don't get paid until Friday."

Rikku nodded "Well I could buy you a pudding cup." She joked but earnestly glanced at Paine. She could tell money was an issue for most people. She wasn't blind to the idea of poverty, but it was just that; an idea. It wasn't her fault. Rikku wasn't quite sure how to approach it with Paine. She obviously had some strong feelings about people like her, yet here she was talking to her.

"No it's—"

"Pllleassseeeee, I have no classes until 3 and Yunie isn't on campus at all today I'm all alone….helpless and alone…alone and by myself… me…." Rikku widened her eyes for effect but the grin on her glossed lips was unmistakable.

Paine chuckled to herself. This girl was something else. "Do you always get your way?"

"Only if you say yes." Her grin widening.

"I don't know if I should condone that." Paine pretended to think even though she had already made up her mind. She would soon find out that she couldn't really say no to the shorter woman.

Now Paine knew where Jambi Juice was, but the idea of going there made her cringe. Everything was so… happy, and simply ridiculous; the pink bendy straws, the bright yellow shirts, the cutesie drink names like "teddy beery" or "Cocoa Moo". It didn't surprise her at all that Rikku was a regular, the two waited in line while Rikku gave Paine some suggestions.

"Don't they have anything that's one flavor?" Paine asked scanning the vast drink menu.

"No why pick one when you can have the best of both worlds?" Rikku was just happy Paine hadn't run off yet like the time when they had coffee. Paine only sighed causing Rikku to laugh. She playfully nudged Paine. "Ah c'mon…okay look they have a build your own option, why don't you get whatever boring flavor you want."

"I have a feeling that was an insult."

"Oh it was." Rikku nodded. "C'mon live a little."

Paine thought about it and looked back up at the menu. "Fine but you are ordering it." There was no way she was saying that ridiculous name.

Rikku found it extremely amusing watching Paine enjoy her first ever Jambi juice milkshake. It was cute how she tried her hardest not to enjoy it just to spite Rikku. When Rikku had asked how it tasted Paine would shrug and take her time to say that the chocolate was too sweet or the milk was too milky.

The two were sitting outside on one of the schools many walkways. Sometimes they forgot they were in the middle of the city with all the greenery on campus. Rikku tossed her hair over her shoulder and glanced at Paine again. She couldn't help it really, she found her extremely interesting. She wasn't like everyone else around them; she wasn't obsessed with herself or anyone else for that matter. She seemed content just being, Rikku wished she could just be content. There were so many things going on in her head all of the time. It was rather easy to work herself into a mild panic.

"What?" Paine asked quietly. She could just feel the other girls eyes on her and it made her nervous, but not anxious, this was something else.

"You ever think about what it would be like to be somebody else?" Rikku asked out of nowhere.

"No." Paine said truthfully. There were times when she hated the way things were going, but she never really thought of life as something you could just wish yourself out of, you had to deal with problems head on or they would just lay there.

"Never?"

Paine pulled the pink straw out of her mouth. So this Cocoa Moo wasn't too bad. Rikku smiled to herself. She seemed pleased with it. "Why? It won't change anything."

"Yeah but don't you ever want to change so drastically that y'know you wouldn't be you?"

Paine sent Rikku a look she couldn't read. "We are who we are because of how we act, a behavior can always change." Paine slipped the straw back into her mouth and looked ahead of them.

"Was that guy your boyfriend?"

Paine quickly looked back at Rikku almost spitting out her straw. "Who?"

Rikku laughed. "The guy at the gym… tall, kinda talks funny, he said he'd see you at home…"

"He's one of my roommates, Wakka."

Rikku leaned back on the bench rested her elbow on its back and leaning her chin on it. "Tell me about them… bathroom wars remember?"

Paine nodded and began a full account of how she spent her weekend. She delighted in the fact that Rikku found the funny parts funny, that meant in some twisted way they had the same humor. Her laugh was as light as the breeze and her smile infectious. Paine didn't want to question anything for the first time in a long time, and so they sat there talking.

"Ah don't do that you have a pretty smile." Rikku said softly when Paine fought the smile on her face at something she had just said.

Paine laughed off the compliment. "So then she moved in? Just like that?"

Rikku nodded going back to her story about how Leblanc and her father came to be. It was already getting just a bit windy and Rikku was afraid to check her phone for the time because then it might remind Paine that she had to be somewhere. Call it selfish but she wanted her to stay. "She hasn't really moved in yet… but she might as well live there. It's funny though I think my Pops just deals with her so he doesn't feel alone."

"That's not very funny." Paine said sarcastically.

Rikku thought on it and then let up a little yelp. "I guess not huh?" She chuckled. "As long as he's happy though, that's all I want for him…. What about your Pops?"

Paine shrugged. "Never knew him."

"Oh." Rikku was quiet. "I'm sorry…y'know maybe he was a jerk anyway."

Paine chuckled to herself. "Maybe he was." She saw what Rikku was trying to do, it wasn't necessary. "I don't need parents."

Rikku tilted her head at the comment. "Everyone needs parents….that's why we have them."

Paine shrugged lightly. "Well I wouldn't know what to do with them."

Rikku made an amused noise. "They're not things, although Pops can be a tool sometimes…"

"The only tool I can deal with is Gippal." Paine shook her head at her best friend.

"He's one of your roommates right?"

"Yeah, and he's my best friend."

"Yunie is my best friend, but lately…" Rikku trailed off looking at her hands.

Paine watched her; she noticed she played with a thin silver ring on her right hand whenever she was nervous or unsure. She had done so at coffee when talking about Professor Gaurrd, even at Pizza when the conversation hit a small lull. Paine had to stop herself from reaching out for a tanned hand. She stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets and looked elsewhere. "What she being a bitch or something?"

"Huh? Yunie, oh no she's like…never mean." Rikku thought about it. "Ever…"

"I doubt that."

"Why people can be nice y'know? Not everyone is like you." Rikku said going a little too far in her head, but this was Yuna here. She hoped Paine understood the protectiveness.

Paine was quiet. "So what's wrong with her?" She asked finally.

Rikku looked at Paine trying to maybe see into that brief silence, she couldn't. "Well…I've been trying to say something to her, tell her something important. She just doesn't seem to care whenever I bring it up..."

"Professor Gaurrd?" Paine ventured.

Rikku sat back on the bench and looked at Paine longer than usual. They locked eyes and the intensity of direct eye contact surprised Paine. She couldn't look away. It was as if in one word she understood everything she needed to.

"Yeah."

##

"What?"

"I left my pencil in class…."

Paine tried not to laugh. "It's just a pencil."

"I have to go back and get it." Rikku began ringing her hands nervously. Paine raised an eyebrow. "I usually keep it here…" She reached up and touched her left ear. "It's a clay pencil Paine don't give me that look."

It had been exactly two weeks since the Jambi Juice bench confession, at least that's what Rikku called it in her head anyway. She still had yet to tell Yuna, and she had been avoiding Auron like the plague. She and Paine had been hanging out more though. It was strange there were moments where she swore Paine was giving her this look, it made her forget whatever she was thinking and was very distracting when she was trying to tell a story. Then there were moments Paine was just there and it was more enough.

They sat next to each other now in class and she was pretty sure they were friends but she wasn't sure with Paine and her moods. One day they would randomly bump into each other and spend the rest of the day talking and then there was the times she would only say Hi and continue on her way. They had yet to exchange phone numbers too.

"What? What look?" Paine sighed. "Well I'll see you late—"

"Come with me to get it." Rikku cut her off quickly.

For a second the two just stared at one another. Paine didn't understand what she was trying to tell her with the look she was giving her, but she knew it meant something important to the strange girl that she accompanied her. It was confusing.

They began to move against the current of students still trying to make it out of the building down the larger staircase.

It dawned on Paine once they entered the barren classroom.

Professor Gaurrd was still at the computer behind the podium typing away. His thin sliver framed glasses reflecting the bright white screen.

He was a handsome man Paine suspected that much by the way some of the other female students talked about him, and had been supportive with her and her research but it became quite clear to Paine why she had been glaring this whole time, why she had neglected to approach him yet about her IC and why Rikku had suddenly shifted from an almost manic state to one of pure anxiety.

They had had sex.

They had had sex and Paine knew about it.

She wasn't sure of how many times, or who started it, or if it had even stopped. What she was sure of was how she didn't like it. Paine suddenly felt uncomfortable, she hesitated before following Rikku completely into the class room.

"I left something." Rikku murmured.

"Did you?" Auron asked while taking off his glasses and folding them carefully as he watched Rikku ascend the empty auditorium styled classroom to where she and Paine had sat. He had yet to see Paine hovering near the entrance. "Or did you just need to talk?"

Paine cleared her throat seemingly slapping Auron out of whatever state he was in. She took a few steps closer. "Professor." She greeted flatly.

"Paine." He did the same. He seemed to do a bit of a small double take. "Paine you haven't yet reached out to me about your paper."

Paine shrugged. "I heard it was taken care of."

Auron stole a glance at her again before looking back to the computer screen. "I see."

She crossed her arms and waited for Rikku that way. She wondered how she never suspected how creepy Professor Guarrd actually was. He had bright hazel eyes and thick meaty hands. His voice was a little too soft for her liking and he never really tried to hide his lustful glances. How come it had taken her this long to figure things out? The semester was almost over!

Rikku quickly picked her clay pencil off the floor near her seat and made her way down towards Paine, an apologetic expression on her face. Just as the two were about to exit the room Professor Guarrd cleared his throat and looked back up.

"Ms Bayla a word alone please?"

Rikku looked back to Paine who just stood her ground. Rikku bit her bottom lip and grabbed a hold on Paine's forearm. "I'll be okay." She said quietly.

Paine didn't like this at all, but there she was touching her again, all she could do was nod. "Yeah okay, if you're sure…"

The little exchange didn't go unnoticed by Auron. He raised an eyebrow at the look Paine gave him before leaving.

She would be trouble

"I see you are making new friends." Auron announced once he was sure Paine was gone. "_Different_ friends."

"What do you want?" Rikku asked. She had told Paine, out of all the trusted people in her life she had told one she barely knew and somehow Paine knowing started off feeling good, but now she just felt even more ashamed.

"You know your father is worried about you, about your grades. I of course assured him that you were doing well, but I come to find out you are not passing my class at all, it seems you are distracted…."

Rikku crossed her arms not moving from her spot near the door. That was ridiculous she had turned in all of her assignments. "What by you trying to cop a feel did you tell him that?"

"Shall I tell him the part where you liked it?" Auron asked calmly, a slight gleam in his eyes.

Rikku froze, she had only liked it once, and she knew now that the first time was the biggest mistake of her young life.

"Come now Rikku why do we play these games?" Auron asked. He shut down the computer and leaned an elbow on the podium. "You and I are both getting what we want."

"It doesn't seem that way."

Auron straightened up; a chuckle in his throat. He stepped from behind the podium "You get the grades you and I both know you can't make, and I get a few favors." With each few words he took a step closer to Rikku. "Now I know you have been avoiding me."

Rikku rolled her eyes yet stood her ground. She liked to believe she had a handle on this at least some of the time. "I've been busy."

"Busy?" He questioned. "Busy with what your doodling? Or making friends with types like Paine?"

"Types like Paine?" She didn't like that. "And what type is she? I thought you liked her?"

"She's smart, I value intelligence and she has it, but I can't ignore her records. I am a lawyer you know I can look these things up, she's a problem child always has and always will be, your father wouldn't like you spending so much time with her kind—"

"Well good thing you aren't my father." Rikku cut him off.

"Good thing, because that would make this so much more complicated." Before Rikku could shrug away his pawing hands Auron grabbed her and forced a hard kiss onto her lips. Rikku pushed against his hard chest but Auron didn't let go until he was done. "Now stop making this difficult and answer my texts." His voice was deep and threatening, a complete 180 from where it was a minute ago. Auron turned around and went to gather his things.

Rikku wiped her mouth quickly and turned to leave she didn't want him to see what he had done to her, how trapped he really had her. A part of Rikku was disappointed to see the hall outside of the classroom empty, the other part knew better.

**AN: Wow this one happened fast no? It's because of all your wonderful reviews! Keep them coming I would really like to know what you think!**

**KathleenDee**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Paine….Paine…..Dr.P!"

"Huh?" Paine looked up from her soggy cereal. Elma stood in the kitchen in a cream colored robe and blue bunny house slippers. It was around seven in the morning and Paine thought she was the only one awake. In fact she was sure of it because she swore she could hear everyone snoring when she walked down the hall to get to the stairs; the walls were kind of thin. "Morning Em." It was Wednesday morning and the sun had already started peeking through the kitchen curtains blocking Paine from really being able to read Elma's curious gaze.

"Morning." The two were quiet as Elma moved around the kitchen making coffee. "So…" She began, before stealing a glance at Paine. She couldn't help but hear her thinking into her cereal. "What's up?"

Paine looked up at Elma. "What's up?"

"Yes, how are you?" Elma laughed at how Paine squinted at her. "Well I couldn't help but notice you glaring down your corn puffs."

Paine sighed to herself. She was more than confused at this point. What was confused confusion? Whatever it was, Paine was that. She had tried not to worry about the shorter bubbly woman, but she couldn't and for the life of her Paine couldn't understand why she hadn't just waited for her or why she even cared.

_What if something had happened? _

_But it didn't._

_You don't know that._

They had developed somewhat of a friendship over the past two weeks. Paine enjoyed talking to her, or just being around her, she was always making Paine laugh or think real hard on something others just discarded as fact. Rikku didn't expect really anything from Paine and so that meant she was happy with just her; an unconditional positive regard. It was strange how something so good made Paine feel so…weak. She both liked and hated Rikku for this change in herself. She both wanted to see her and wanted to avoid her at all costs. This constant see-sawing was driving Paine mad. She didn't know how to verbalize it so Rikku would understand, so she wouldn't give her that look when she merely said hello and went about her day. Then Monday happened.

Paine just couldn't.

Elma wasn't the first to notice Paine being somewhat out of it. On the bus ride into school Mackenzie poked Paine in the arm.

"You're quieter than quiet today." She pointed out. Every time Paine looked at Mackenzie she had to laugh a little. The little girl was clad in a puffy purple jacket that swallowed her up save for her little hands and her big brown eyes.

"What's quieter than quiet?" Paine asked. She shifted her attention fully on Mackenzie now.

The little girl shrugged causing the friction of the puffy jacket to make the sound of someone stepping in fresh snow. "Like….like a teddy bear."

"A teddy bear?" Paine chuckled.

"Well yeah cause they never talk no matter how many times I say soemthin, Moma says I gotta listen real hard then I'd hear 'em but I think she's just old."

Paine actually laughed at that. "Well I'm listening to ya Big Mack. Whatcha got to say?" Paine listened intently as the little girl spoke about some boy in her class who she liked and how today they were picking electives for middle school classes. Paine gave her best advice possible on how Art was way cooler than PE. Mackenzie didn't seem convinced though.

"Only weird kids like Art." She informed Paine.

##

As fate would have it she was standing in line at Jambi Juice trying to quickly get rid of a Cocoa Moo craving without anyone she knew noticing her, when she recognized a familiar head of blonde hair pulling at the colorful straw bin for a pink bendy straw.

"Damn." Rikku mumbled when a green one rolled out.

The machine was rigged so that you got a different color every time you pulled on the handle. Paine chuckled at the mangier behind the counter glaring at Rikku and the mountain of non-pink straws accumulating on the counter.

Rikku sighed and adjusting her school bag on her shoulders and then pressed the button again. All she wanted was a fucking pink straw.

Paine paid for her drink and made her way over suddenly nervous to approach the girl. "I'll take a green one." She tried.

Rikku quickly looked up to see Paine standing there clad in jeans and an NLU dark blue hoody. "Hi." She greeted, the smile she was fighting to hide came out once she noticed what Paine was holding in her hand. "Cocoa Moo?"

Paine nodded then motioned to Rikku's drink. "Teddy Berry?"

Rikku nodded with a short laugh. "Y'know I was pretty certain someone said they wouldn't be caught dead paying five dollars for a pudding cup."

Paine motioned to her drink. "This was 4.99." She reached out and grabbed the next straw to fall out of the dispenser and put it in her own drink. "Didn't know you were such a racist."

Rikku narrowed her eyes at Paine playfully. "I'm not, I'm gonna use those other straws too, I just want a pink one for my drink." The blonde explained and let out a sigh of relief when a pink straw rolled out.

Paine watched with amusement as Rikku began picking up all the other straws and putting them into her backpack. It was then that she was really able to get a look at what the other woman was wearing. Paine furrowed a brow. "Are you wearing a onesie?"

Rikku chuckled. "Why on earth would I wear one of those outside the house?" They soon fell into step beside one another. Paine wasn't really sure where they were going; Rikku seemed to be leading today, which now that she thought about it was perfectly okay with her. She wanted to ask if she were okay, but if Rikku didn't want to talk about it, then they wouldn't.

Rikku took a few sips of her smoothie. "It's called a romp Paine." She motioned down to her outfit. "It's my new thing, it's like wearing shorts…but not really. Yunie designed this one."

Paine didn't get it. "So it's an adult onesie?"

Rikku rolled her eyes but laughed. "How did that thing go?"

"What thing?"

"Y'know where…oh! Work how did work go, yesterday right? New class."

"Oh." Paine nodded. "Right new class, they seem okay I guess." She started a new self defense group every three weeks or so.

"I was going to join y'know…I thought about it."

"You should have." Paine found herself saying.

"Yeah? You wouldn't pick on me or anything?"

"Let's not get carried away now. So where are we going?"

"You never were on this side of campus huh? Hmm another clue." Rikku pressed a finger to her bottom lip in thought. She was still trying to figure out her major.

It had started to rain sometime in the day and let up just when Paine got out of class. The school was a dewy mess and the scent of rain was still fresh in the air. Rikku took a larger breath of it once they exited the student union. She loved the rain, especially springtime rain. The blonde opened her eyes from her deep breath and smiled at Paine. "You know I was mad at you a little."

"Me?"

"A little yeah." She shrugged.

"Hm. Are you still?"

"No."

Paine nodded somehow feeling ten times better. She had been wondering what Rikku would think. Rikku _did_ tell her to go but the look exchanged meant stay. Paine had realized that yesterday while brooding over the matter. "Are you okay?" Paine finally asked.

Rikku motioned to a few benches outside surrounding a fountain that had been turned off because of the rainy weather. "Maybe we can find a dry seat."

They eventually found a shaded table and sat across from each other. Paine could feel a couple last minute drops of water slide from the blooming tree above them fall onto her shoulder. It didn't bother her as much as Rikku's reluctance to answer her question.

So Paine waited.

"I'm okay yeah." Rikku finally shared. "It's just hard to deal with sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Alright all of the time." Rikku looked down to her hands. She couldn't believe she and Paine were actually talking about this. "Who are you?" She asked a little smile crossed her face when Paine answered simply.

"I'm Paine."

"Yeah I know smartass but I never talk about these things with people…never."

Paine thought about it. "Well we don't know each other _that_ well, isn't it always easier to open up to someone you don't know?"

"Yeah but you feel important…"

Did she really just say that out loud? Judging by the calm look on Paine's face she wasn't sure. It was only when Paine looked away almost shyly that she got her answer.

Yeah, that was defiantly said aloud.

"Yeah I know what you mean." Paine admitted quietly. "I usually don't hang around…"

"Types like me." Rikku finished with a laugh. She took another sip of her smoothie. "I've been hearing that phrase a lot, I don't get it."

"What's not to get?"

"How can everyone fit into a certain type? Aren't we all different… isn't that just generalization?"

Paine thought on her conversation with Gippal. "We are all different yeah, but mostly just a product of our environment."

"So just because we are from different environments we can't be friends?"

"It means we think differently."

"I don't think you and I think that differently."

Paine laughed. "I wouldn't be caught dead in anything pink…"

"Well that's a whole other conversation." Rikku laughed too. "We both like Jambi Juice." She motioned to Paine's Cocoa Moo before taking a sip of her own drink.

"You like Jambi Juice, I just happened to be walking by and was thirty."

"We're both full of it."

Paine laughed. "Alright alright… so maybe we're not that different…where it doesn't matter."

"Course it matters…if we took off all our clothes right now no one would be able to tell where we grew up."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "I think they would know where we belong though, a mental institution."

"There is nothing wrong with nudity Paine."

Paine scratched the back of her head and looked elsewhere. Why on earth were they talking about getting naked, now she couldn't concentrate. "I guess you make a point."

"… and anyway I don't really care, what people think."

Paine nodded in agreement. It was hard to say you really didn't care. You hear it every day that people just don't care, when in reality the care more than people who actually claim to care. Paine took a slow sip of her drink. Rikku seemed to be thinking about something, that or she found the wooden table quite interesting. "What?" Paine probed.

"Or maybe I do, just a little."

"Everyone does Rikku."

"I think about what everyone would think and that's okay because they are just people…they aren't important, but if people I'm close to found out… do you think they would see me differently?"

Paine pressed her lips together. She knew what she should say but it wouldn't be her honest opinion. "It depends I guess…"

Rikku sighed and stretched out her arms. "Anyway…"

Paine frowned. "You can talk about it… I mean if you want to. I don't care, I don't see you differently… you're just as annoying." She added the last part as a joke to mask her sincerity. Talking this way and feeling this way was not something she was terribly comfortable with.

Rikku had to smile. "You looked like you wanted to punch him in the face on Monday."

Paine shifted in her seat. "Well the guy is a prick anyway, an IC? C'mon I'm like the best student in that class and he knows it."

"How come you haven't gone to talk to him about it?"

Paine sighed, there was no fooling this girl. "Because I really did want to punch him in the face on Monday."

Rikku chuckled, "Aw not only are we friends but you do care!" She teased.

"Yeah whatever, I just don't think its right." Paine mumbled causing Rikku to laugh more. "I'm glad you think this is funny."

Rikku tried to calm herself down. It was really the first time she had ever talked to someone about Auron and here she was laughing. "I'm sorry."

Paine was thoughtful for a minute. "Details aren't important y'know." She finally decided was the right thing to say. Sure they could joke but it was still a pretty serious matter.

"Details?"

"Yeah, if you don't feel comfortable with it… that's all that matters." Paine shrugged and went back to her shake.

##

Rikku stretched out on her stomach on Yuna's large bed. It was about 11 at night and she and Yuna were up doing their nails and talking about their days. She watched quietly as Yuna moved about waving her left hand to try and dry it faster. She was wearing the ridiculous pajama bottoms Uncle Braska had gotten them this year for Christmas and a white tank. Rikku was wearing the same, save her pajama bottoms were black unlike Yuna's white ones with candy canes on them instead of hearts, and Rikku wore a black tank.

"Anyway so his name is Tidus."

"Sounds stupid." Rikku joked.

"Well he seems nice."

Rikku sighed when Yuna went on to talk about how he had randomly asked her out on a date. She loved her cousin, she really did, and she was happy she met such a nice guy but a part of Rikku just wanted to talk seriously with her about this Auron thing. She was able to tell Paine before her best friend! Didn't that mean something? Rikku looked down to her pink glossy nails. She wanted to call Paine, or maybe just text her, (she had finally just asked for her number) but she didn't know what the girl would be up to or if she was even awake right now.

Rikku meant what she said about Pain feeling important. You know when you meet someone who was meant to be in your life? You just kinda know, you kinda know and you can't wait for whatever the relationship ends up being. For Rikku it was like that when she first met Yuna, sure they were cousins but once they were old enough to actually talk and get to know each other Rikku was excited. She knew she would always be there for her and vice versa, with Paine it was kinda the same.

Okay so it wasn't and Rikku knew it.

It was different; it wasn't just friendship Rikku wanted to know about. She wanted Paine to be special to her in her own way. She didn't know how though. She hadn't really felt like this about anyone. Nor did she know if it were right or wrong to just want to be close like that. Rikku sighed and Yuna stopped in her tracks.

Noticing her friends mind was elsewhere Yuna took a seat on the edge of the bed. "So what did you do today?"

"Me?"

"No Mr. Snuffles." Yuna rolled her eyes but smiled warmly. "You seem quiet."

"Hm…"

_Should I tell her?_

"What do you do if you like someone….but you don't really know how?"

"You like someone?" Yuna asked excitedly; double dates already being planned.

"No! Well…yeah but no but I don't know okay just answer the damn question Yunie."

Yuna chuckled. "Well I would spend more time with him, get to know him a little more."

_Him_

"Oh." Was all Rikku could really say. She had never really taken into account Paine's boobage. Well she had most defiantly when she was at the gym, I mean they were just out there, but she had never really stopped and thought about the norms. She was pretty, and funny, and just…nice.

But she was a she and so was she.

"What's wrong?" Yuna asked noticing her face.

"Nothing that's a good idea it's just… what if it's not… expected?"

"As long as he doesn't live south of Berkshire we'll be okay."

"Yunie!" Rikku whined.

Yuna laughed. "I know I know, but you know that's what everyone else is going to say." She said getting up and walking into the bathroom to get the clear nail polish for her last coat.

"But you're not just anyone else, you're my Yunie." Rikku reminded her.

Yuna walked back in and sat beside Rikku. "Okay." She sighed dramatically. "Personally, I don't think it should matter who it is, as long as they make you happy." Yuna said honestly.

Rikku fell back onto her stomach feeling at least a little better.

##

"Shut up."

"I mean and she was gorgeous."

"Shut up."

"She even offered to split the bill!"

"Please shut up?"

"But it's more than that, like there was this instant connection… I'm seeing her again tonight for dinner."

Paine growled. "Tidus I swear to god if you do not shut up."

Tidus chuckled. "Okay okay." It was a slow Friday at the gym, sometime around six thirty in the evening and the two found themselves with nothing to do. Paine was at the computer looking up possible summer jobs since she could kiss that internship goodbye, and Tidus was leaning back beside her in the front desk rolling chair grinning like a fool. A minute or two passed with Tidus trying to be quiet. "Y'know maybe I can hook you up with someone, that tall guy with the hair, he seems to like yo—ah!" Tidus fell back in the chair causing it to fall over and Paine couldn't help but laugh. She really just planned on pulling the chair back a little but the fall was just an extra reward. After a second on the ground Tidus began laughing too.

"Christ even your laugh is annoying." Paine mumbled jokingly.

Tidus picked himself up and dusted off his uniform before sitting back down with a loud sigh.

Just then Paine's cell phone began to buzz on top of the desk. Tidus made a lunge for it but Paine kicked his rolling chair away and shook her head. "Fucks wrong with you?" She asked with a grin.

It was times like these; times where they were the only ones in, tired, sleepy and bored, that they got along rather well.

Paine sat back down in her chair and read the text from the unknown number.

_**So I feel a little dumb doing this, but can I call you?**_

Paine furrowed a brow at the text and was about to ask who this was when she got another text right after it telling her that it was Rikku. She smiled a little to herself then looked back at Tidus who was rolling the wheelie chair around in circles.

"I have to make a call." She announced. Tidus gave her the thumbs up and kept on spinning.

Paine grabbed her jacket and headed for the double door entrance. The cold air stung at her cheeks and she just knew her face was probably getting red from the quick change in temperature. It was already dark out and the only real noise that could be heard was from the bustling city outside of the campus, but even that seemed so far away when Rikku picked up.

"Hey."

"Hya!" Rikku winced at how excited she sounded, should hear Paine laugh a little. "Too much?"

"Just a little."

"Damn."

"It's okay."

"So where are you? I didn't pick a bad time did I?"

"No not really, we close at seven on Fridays, so Tidus and I weren't really doing anything."

"Tidus? The blonde guy?"

"Yeah, he usually sits at the front desk." Paine picked up a small branch by her feet. She had opted to sit down at the smoker's gazebo to avoid the wind from swooping in and messing up her signal. She never really understood why they had a smoker's gazebo right outside of the recreation and _wellness_ center.

"Ugh!" Rikku threw herself on her bed. "Yunie won't shut up about him!"

Paine laughed. "Well I suppose you can tell her the feeling is mutual, I had to literally push him out of his chair to get him to shut up."

Rikku laughed at the image. "Meanie."

"I prefer selfish actually."

"Selfish meanie."

"You forgot to take out the mean part."

"No I didn't."

"I'm just going to forget that part of the conversation."

"What are you doing tonight?" Rikku asked after calming down her giggles. Lord Paine probably thought she was an idiot.

Paine thought about. "I may go to a party with Gippal." He had been bothering her all week about going to some basement party. "What are you doing tonight? Shouldn't you be driving one of your dads cars drunk and topless or something?"

Rikku burst out in laughter. "Nah that was last weekend."

"Oh my mistake, taking it easy then huh?"

"Yeah I was going to go to a dance party."

"A dance party…."

"Yeah it's a party…where you dance."

"Yeah but why don't you just call it a party?"

Rikku thought about it for a second. "I dunno." She shrugged. "When is your regular party?"

"Basement Party." Paine corrected.

"Ah I see… I don't think I have ever been to a basement party."

"Really?" All she had ever been to was basement parties.

"Yeah I mean why have it in the basement when the whole house is open, usually people go to the basement to smoke pot or hook up."

"Hm." Paine thought for a second. "I haven't been to one in a while."

"Nervous?"

"A little." Paine admitted making circles with the branch in her hand. She could barely see the circles in the dark dirt but just making them somehow calmed her busy mind. "I haven't been around this crowd for a while."

"Hmm, well if you don't feel like going we should do something."

Paine sat up a little straighter. "Like what?"

Rikku shrugged. She was just taking Yuna's advice here, she didn't know Paine would actually go for it. "I dunno, what you do on Friday nights usually."

Paine thought on it. "Nothing." She chuckled. "I've become a bit boring this year." It was true. Eat, sleep, shower, work, school had been the mantra. Paine tried to think about what old Paine would be doing tonight. "Let's go into the city."

"And do what?"

Paine shrugged. "Just chill."

Rikku was quiet for a second. She never just went downtown without knowing what she was there for. "Okay." She found herself saying.

"I'll meet you on fifth and Jefferson?"

"Yeah." Rikku smiled, hearing the elevation in Paine's voice.

"Ditch the wheels too." Paine advised. Rikku chuckled. "I get off at 7… so 8?"

"Eight is good, what should I wear?" Rikkku hopped off her bed and walked over to her walk in closet.

"Not a onesie"

"Haha I'm serious!"

"Just throw on something comfortable, we'll be walking a lot."

##

Paine quickly unlocked the front door. It was around seven forty five. She could probably get to fifth and Jefferson in ten minutes if she walked fast. She really didn't want to have Rikku waiting for her at eight at night on a Friday.

The apartment was so quiet she could hear the people in the building next door watching tv. She remembered that Gippal was working until 12 or so. She would just have to text him. Paine jogged up the stairs and took a five minute shower. She changed back into her jeans and black V neck shirt and leather jacket. She slipped back into her sneakers and shook from the coldness of the night reaching her still damp hair as she locked the door.

By the time she made it on Jefferson she was an odd cold and hot from walking fast. Paine ran a hand through her hair and checked her phone.

8:01.

She slowed her walk down to a casual stroll and looked around. Fifth and Jefferson was the intersection that was "neutral territory." Therefore she figured it was a pretty safe ground to meet up and then walk downtown to the grand square. It wasn't in a bad area at all, in fact when Paine was looking for apartments early on she quickly rooted out Jefferson. It was in the heart of the city and cost way more than the NLU rec center would pay. From here you could either go downtown, uptown, or to the east where Paine lived. There was nothing really exciting to the west, the city turned into rolling hills and then suburbia soon enough. Paine liked the city life. The feeling of movement everywhere, you were never really alone here, even if you wanted to be.

Paine was excited.

She was excited to show Rikku the city her way. Today while at work she had plenty of time to just think, mainly about her new friend. She had opened up to her today and she knew it was probably a hard thing to do. It was time to show her the same type of generosity, if only for tonight Paine planned on being as open as she could be.

She saw Rikku before the blonde noticed her. She was clad in dark blue jeans, and a red long sleeved top, a deep gray scarf was wrapped around her neck and her hair was in a bouncy ponytail. It was the first real time Paine could see her whole face without her usually wild blonde hair in the way. She looked nice, Paine wondered if telling her that would be weird.

"Rikku." She called from across the street. She watched Rikku stop, look around and then continue walking. "Where is she going?" Paine asked herself. She finally decided to just cross the street to get to her.

"Hey!" Rikku smiled when she noticed Paine just start walking beside her. "Come here often?" She chuckled.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing, you sure look like you know where you are going." Paine commented as she slowed down her pace to a stop

Rikku smiled at Paine's appearance. She must have rushed to meet her here because her hair was still damp and she was sniffling a little because of it. "So we're here."

Paine nodded with her hands in her jacket pockets. "We are here."

"How exactly do you chill?" Rikku asked.

"Well I dunno, guess it was a lot easier when I was high." She reasoned. A brief look of surprise crossed Rikku's face but it was gone in a second. Paine bit the inside of her mouth. Maybe it wasn't the funniest of jokes. She looked around. "Are you hungry? Do you wanna walk uptown to find a place?"

"Sure." Rikku smiled trying to ease Paine's nerves and her own.

"Okay well first we need to turn around then." Paine motioned to in front of them "You don't wanna go down that way without a buddy."

"Oohh." Rikku nodded trying to remember the name of the street Paine had pointed to. They turned around and began walking up the street.

"So how long did it take you to pick out that outfit?" Paine asked remembering something Rikku once said about wishing she had the patience to organize her closet to save time.

"About an hour. " Rikku said honestly. "But only that long because you didn't tell me what we would be doing and before you say something 'chilling' doesn't tell me much."

"I was going to say it looks nice, but now I don't think I will."

"Selfish insensitive menie." Rikku nudged Paine playfully. "How long did it take you to pick out your outfit Pai?"

Paine looked down to what she was wearing and chuckled. "Two mutes."

"Well I was going to say you look nice too but then you took back your compliment so there."

Paine shook her head in amusement. The two began their walk and soon fell into a conversation about their favorite parts of living in a city.

"Oh! You can get ice cream at 4 in the morning." Rikku added to her list.

Paine chuckled. "You can do that just about everywhere Rikku."

"Not in the middle of nowhere, and they probably have boring middle of nowhere flavors like French vanilla…" Rikku made a face.

"What's your favorite ice cream flavor then?"

"There is this cute little parlor right down my block that sells one called sweet cream. It's the best."

"So its basically vanilla ice cream without the vanilla." Paine joked.

"Yes one could put it that way, but its sweet cream Paine it's different."

"If you say so."

"What's yours?"

"Rum raisin."

Rikku made a face. "Mehhh."

"What you don't like it?"

"I only had it once, and it was when I was little and had a cold so I've always kind of stayed away from it ever since."

"We'll have to find some then." Paine nodded. They continued talking for a few blocks. Rikku didn't know why she was so nervous on her way over here. For a while they and a few others were on the amber lit streets. It had started to drizzle at one point but then died down five minutes later just as Paine predicted.

By the time they reached the busy downtown district of Djosen parties were well underway, people were in the streets and venders were selling anything they could off some drunk tourists. It was really a spectacle to see. It no longer felt like night time.

Rikku had only been downtown this late at night for a new year party or two. She was drawn like a moth to the flame by all the shining lights of advertisements and multi story buildings, loud noises and all the adventures that had yet to be had.

"You don't get out much do ya?" Paine joked. "Here stay close." She advised as they delved deeper into the thick crowds of people.

1:21am

"Sorry Princess, this is all they had." Paine announced as she placed the clear plastic cup down in front of Rikku before taking a seat opposite her

"This shall have to do." Rikku nodded pouring her beer into it carefully before taking a sip Paine laughed at her facial expression once the cool fizzy liquid hit her tongue.

"Okay so it's not the best I have to admit." She nodded taking her bottle and taking a sip straight from it.

Lima was a little whole in the wall restaurant owned by a little oriental woman and her three sons. At first Rikku was a bit skeptical because they had to go down an alleyway to get there but her feet were so sore of walking she would sit down just about anywhere.

The restaurant itself was humid from the large steaming ovens that could easily be seen over the front counter where you paid for your food. The dining room itself could only hold four booths.

Rikku looked down to the checkered tile floor then up to the tall ceiling fans. This night had turned out a lot different than she originally expected. She began to take off her scarf because it was so warm. It couldn't be good for spreading of bacteria she thought somewhere in the back of her mind. She looked around the small dining room at the other patrons and then back at Paine. A smile easily found its way onto her lips.

"You look tired." Her hair had long since dried and fell into its natural place without any product. Rikku thought it even prettier than before. She had never seen someone with dark grayish black hair before, it had a smokey quality that seemed to suit Paine well, Rikku found the natural highlights she had even cuter now that they weren't obstructed by hair product.

_Really? You think her highlights are cute…really? _

Rikku shook her head at herself then remembered a week or so ago when she asked her if she dyed her hair. Paine had self consciously run a hand through it and said no, then asked if it looked like she was graying. She remembered laughing and assuring her it didn't look that way, it seemed a distant memory to tonight though.

They had spent most of the night talking; nothing too heavy like earlier in the day, just the basics. Rikku learned that Paine knew her way around the city extremely well, could play the piano, was 20 for a few more months, and a whole mess of facts she was able to weasel out of the other girl. If she were honest she was impressed by some of the things Paine knew. Maybe impressed was the wrong word, intrigued more than anything. It seemed wrong to think of Paine as a problem child or just some hood; just a name on a case file. There was more to it. A lot of Paine was still a mystery to Rikku though. She was good about letting you in, only to find it a complex maze once inside.

But she was inside right! That had to mean something. Call it whatever you wanted but Rikku knew that Paine wasn't the type to just let someone in, she just knew it.

Paine had taken off her leather jacket by now. The humidity was just too much to keep it on. She could already start to feel the humid leather sticking to her arm. Not sexy. She reached for her beer again. "It's Friday." Paine reminded the other girl. It had been a long weak for Paine, mentally at least.

Rikku nodded. "It is. I am so sleeping in tomorrow, forget yoga with Yunie, she will probably just talk my ear off about how her and Tidus got it on."

"So glad I don't work with him tomorrow." Paine nodded. That was one she just didn't want to hear about.

Rikku sipped on her beer; it was just cold enough to mask the actual flavor, and in this small steam box of a restaurant it was a welcome buffer. "I worked at Jambi juice for a little while."

Paine chuckled. "I could see that, why did you leave?"

Rikku shrugged. "I got bored."

"You get bored easy huh?"

"That's why that short film movie house we went to was awesome, kept my attention the whole time!"

"I still didn't get that movie…" Paine shook her head. It was Rikku's idea to stop for fifteen minutes and see the 25 cent hipster movies. It was probably the weirdest 15 minutes of her life, and that was saying a lot.

"You don't?" Rikku asked. "It was totally about transcendence."

Paine raised an eyebrow causing Rikku to giggle. "So you didn't get it either?"

"Not a damn second." She shook her head causing her pony tail to swing back and forth behind her like a pendulum.

The two laughed. Just then a short man with graying red hair and a dirty apron walked out with a larger plate of steaming rolls. He placed it in between the two and Paine nodded in thanks.

Rikku suddenly remembered that she was starving and Paine watched with amusement as her eyes went wide at the first bite. Rikku felt her eyes roll back and then close automatically. Something this good had to be savored.

"Oh my god." She moaned still chewing.

"Pork Steam buns." Paine explained tearing off a bun for herself and taking a bite. She too closed her eyes for second as the intoxicating taste of ginger and marinated shredded pork wrapped snug around soft steamed dough entered her mouth. Wow she had missed these.

"This…this, should be illegal." Rikku managed; already on her second steamed bun. "Oh my god." She repeated reaching for a napkin to wipe her chin.

Paine chuckled and turned around to signal to the guy at the cashier that they were going to need another plate and more beer.

3:45am

They were both drunk.

Full, warm, happy and drunk.

Well Rikku was drunk; Paine had cut herself off around 3 and was trying to sober up.

"Paiinnnnneeeee." Rikku whined.

The restaurant had closed and they were walking toward Central park to sober up. The city showed no time of slowing so Paine decided to take less popular route. It was Friday…err Saturday morning and she didn't want to have to fight some drunk idiot for looking at Rikku the wrong way.

Whatever way her cloudy mind felt was inappropriate of course.

She also didn't want to ruin the night. It had made her nerves earlier seem foolish. She couldn't remember a time when she laughed this much, nor had her guard down this far. They never touched on the serious stuff, they just chilled. Paine grinned, right now Rikku had her both arms latched around her left arm. Paine found that she actually didn't mind. Either because she was still tipsy, or because she had never had someone this close without it causing her some kind of anxiety. It was new. Plus she was pretty sure if Rikku tried walking on her own it would be a disaster.

Paine looked down at her looking up at her with sparkling green eyes.

"What's up Princess?"

She had been calling her that ever since she demanded a glass to drink her beer out of.

"I have to pee."

Paine chuckled but then looked around. "You couldn't go before we left the restaurant?"

"No I couldn't because I didn't know I had to go then, god."

"What are you doing?" Paine asked when she felt Rikku begin bouncing a little with every step.

"I reaaallly gotta go."

"Okay okay." Paine stopped. They were cutting through a residential area of downtown right now, which meant no stores, which meant no open bathrooms. The only things for a few blocks were sleepy brownstones and the occasional pajama clad person walking their dog. The quiet was calming not to mention safer for Paine to notice when something wasn't right.

Rikku continued to bounce about at Paine's aside. "Ughh I wish I had a penis."

"What?" Paine asked with a laugh.

"I could just go anywhere….like those bushes over there." Rikku pointed.

"Rikku that's a mailbox."

She dropped her hand. "Oh." Rikku thought for a second. "But then people would know every time I get turned on…that would be embarrassing." She rationalized.

"Can you hold it for like two more blocks? I think there is a Rin's right around the corner."

"Two blocks? What's two blocks in a city as big as this? What's two blocks in a life as short as ours…what's two—"

"Alright Plato c'mon." Paine shook her head and pulled Rikku along until the shorter woman wrapped both her arms back around Paine's arm.

##

She wasn't sure what time it was. She would guess, but she was never really good at that either. They had been laying here for about a half hour in complete silence. Here being a secluded down slope on a hill deep within the confusing park. Paine had seemed to know just where she was going and it never really occurred to Rikku that she should be worried or scared. Paine was good about slowing her long strides to match Rikku's slow curious steps.

The grass beneath her was dewy, but she didn't care. She was lying on her scarf which would probably ruin the delicate material but she didn't care. Rikku never wanted this moment to end. The alcohol was just enough to keep her mind from wondering too far into the future and keep her well insulated at the same time. The only thing she could hear was the breeze bushing the trees around them about and if she tried hard enough the sound of morning was unmistakable. Rikku had hoped to be awake long enough to hear the first birds call, but the way she had just drifted in and out of a light sleep made her doubtful. Her right arm was brushed up against Paine's left. She couldn't tell you how it had gotten so close but there it was. They were not touching at all but the fine hairs on her arm were standing from the proximity.

"Paine?" Rikku whispered

"Hm?" Paine turned her head on her folded up jacket to look better at Rikku lying on the grass beside her. She was stunning like this in the early morning darkness. Paine didn't even think about if it was weird or not to say it, she would keep it to herself.

"What happened to you?"

Paine looked back up to the sleepy blue sky. She exhaled. "Too much."

"Yeah but like….what?"

"Go back to sleep Princess."

"Not until you tell me." Rikku kept her eyes fixated on Paine's profile. "You know my secrets… all the big ones at least…" She bit her lip lightly when Paine made no move to say anything.

"It's a long one…" She finally explained. Paine avoided talking about the past for a number of reasons, the main one being that she didn't want anyone's pity.

"I'm not all the way sober yet you got some time."

Paine glanced at Rikku.

She didn't get pity when she looked at Rikku though.

Paine looked back up and took a deep breath.

_What would be so wrong with her knowing?_

**AN: So I kinda got carried away here. Hope it's not too long of a read for one chapter. I just really felt the need to fit all of this in one. Next chapter we meet Cid and a few more of our favorite characters. REVIEW!**

**KatheenDee**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Noooo" Rikku covered a white pillow over her head. "No." She repeated. This couldn't be happening.

Yuna stood up straight from her toe touch. She was wearing dark green yoga pants and a pale yellow top that said "dream" on it, which is exactly what Rikku wanted to be doing right now; dreaming.

"Rikku we've planned this all week, c'mon get up." Yuna stepped closer to her queen sized bed and began to pull the paisley sheets off.

"Noooo." Rikku whined while squirming around in the blanket to get it caught under herself so Yuna couldn't take it away. "Just lemmie sleep Yunie arrgh. I need at least four hours pleeeaase." She whaled dramatically into her mattress.

Yuna chuckled and finally stepped away. "You always do this, we always make plans to do something early and every time I come over here you are still.."

Rikku peaked up at Yuna from under her pillow. Just in time for Yuna's plan to work and her to yank the covers off her cousin completely when she thought she had given up.

"Hey!"

"…still dressed?" Yuna finished once she took in the red top and jeans Rikku was wearing in bed. "Did you sleep in those?"

"No I didn't." Rikku protested reaching onto the hard wood floor of her room for her blanket. "I haven't even been to sleep yet!" Yuna watched as she covered herself back up and snuggled deeper into her bed; little incoherent noises of protest and sleepiness were all she heard for a minute or two.

Yuna crossed her arms shaking her head at her cousin. She leaned close to Rikku's ear and shouted. "So you went out then!"

Rikku whimpered and rolled away from the side of the bed Yuna was standing by. "You are by far the biggest meanie in all of Meaniedom."

Yuna chuckled then sighed when she realized she was up at an ungodly hour for nothing. "Well at least drink some water before you go to sleep, here."

Rikku could hear Yuna pad out of the room and then return a few minutes later.

Alright she would take it back, Yuna was pretty okay.

"C'mon sit up."

Rikku sighed and pulled the covers off and rubbed her head with the back of her palm. "What time is it?" She asked before taking the water and gladly downing the entire tall glass.

"You tell me you just got in."

"I don't exactly remember…getting in." Rikku realized. She looked around her room for any sign of Paine being there, she had to have helped her up the stairs.

"What's wrong? Besides the fact that you don't rmember how you got home?" Yuna asked taking a seat on the edge of her bed and placing an arm behind her to lean on. Rikku looked a daze, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Uh…nothing nothing." Rikku placed the empty glass on her nightstand. "How was your date with Teedus?"

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Tidus, and it went really well, how was the dance party?"

"Dance Party?" Rikku furrowed her brows. "Oooh yeah! Uh it was good." Yuna gave her cousin a questioning look. The blonde was a terrible liar."Lot's of dancin' hey Yunie look I'm really sleepy y'know and I think I'm gonna wanna die when I wake up."

"Of course." Yuna stood shaking her head a little. "I will call you later to make sure you are alive. Uncle Cid invited me to go out to dinner with you guys."

"Pop's is here?" Rikku stopped rubbing her face. Why was it sore?

"He's downstairs." Yuna slipped into her sandals and pulled her yoga tote over her shoulder. "You owe me."

"I always do." Rikku chuckled before coughing lightly. "Dinner better be in like 24 hours…."

"Don't worry I'll help you paint your face on." Yuna waved at her and left.

Rikku pulled her shirt off and then wiggled out of her jeans before falling onto her back and sighing. She could feel the hangover coming on and was not happy about it, but then spending the whole night with Paine was defiantly worth it. She smiled and rolled onto her side; curling her body slightly. She strained her cloudy mind to remember the trip home before sleep finally took over.

##

"You look like shit."

"You're so sweet." Paine groaned from her spot on the breakfast stool. She had her NLU hoody on and pulled over her head while wearing baggy faded black sweat pants.

The goal was to try and put something into her stomach.

As she picked at the stale bagel in front of her she realized it wasn't going to be happening.

It was around one in the afternoon mind you.

Gippal grinned. "So you did party last night…"

"No."

"Liar."

"I'm serious no partying here, how was that basement thing? Bart and Shu there?"

She was trying to change the subject because she was pretty sure smiling would hurt right now. Just the sound of Gippal moving around the kitchen hurt right now. Never mind how painful her shower just was.

Gippal shrugged his sleeveless shoulders and ran a tanned hand through his wild blonde hair. "I stopped by had a couple drinks, I work tonight so y'know couldn't get into nothing serious. Dey were asking for you though, Dona too."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Yeah well… I don't know if I'm ready." She said honestly.

Gippal shrugged. It was his own way of saying whenever she was ready he would be there. He wasn't big on sentimental communication.

"Hey so, you wouldn't happen to need a sauté cook tonight? I kinda went over my budget last night." Paine explained.

Gippal went into the fridge and raised an eyebrow. "Who the fuck bought orange juice with pulp in it?"

"That would be me." Elma spoke coming out of nowhere. As she sauntered by Paine wondered how long it would take the two to start arguing again. Before or after she dyed her hair, Paine had bet Wakka that the two directly correlated and within hours of the next fight she would be a red head again.

Elma grabbed the carton of juice out of Gippal's hand and went to pour herself a glass. Gippal sent her a look behind her back causing Paine to chuckle.

They needed to just hook up already.

"Don't know Dr. P. Tonight's gonna be pretty busy." Gippal explained looking back into the fridge and taking out a container that clearly had Wakka's name on it. "We got my lawyer coming in, remember the guy? Got me off that bust a couple years back?" Paine nodded. "Yeah well he's got a four top coming in tonight for the first time. Called me up himself and said he wanted everything to be perfect."

"He must like you."

"He's a good guy." Gippal popped Wakka's food in the microwave and leaned up against the counter crossing his arms. "Bit of a jerk, but he aint from around here y'know?"

Paine chuckled at his reasoning. "My guess is he doesn't know what you got up your sleeve now, so you are buttering him up so you don't have to pay much."

"Networking yeah." Gippal smirked.

"Paine I've got a connection with the PT department if you were still interested in summer work."

"Sounds good Em thanks."

"I'll just toss the contact info under your door." And with that she was gone.

A loud dinging noise brought Gippal's attention from Elma walking up the stairs to his food. "I'll see what I can do for a brunch shift though Doc, so when you gonna tell me what ya did last night?"

Paine shrugged pushing away her bagel and getting up. "Not much, had a few drinks that's all."

Gippal squinted at his best friend. "Mhm…"

##

When she was around 12 she her brother, mother and her father attempted to take a family trip camping. By day two they had checked into a near by ski resort and called it a day, but Rikku never forgot how warm and inviting the little cabin lake house they stayed at for 32 hours was. She hated how impersonal and almost cold the rest of their home felt thus the inspiration for her bedroom. The walls were a thick cream and all the fixtures wooden down to the center ceiling fan. In the early morning and late afternoon it glowed beautiful amber that sometimes would paralyze Rikku in whatever she was doing to take time and appreciate the good ol' days.

It was like that now, lying awake in bed watching the noon day sun illuminate her room. Rikku had woken up about an hour ago and after a failed attempt to get up and be productive she found herself lying in bed again clutching her cell phone.

In her mind Paine was sleeping and would be severely pissed if she were to receive a call from her, but that was in her mind. Little did she know Paine was lying awake on her building roof thinking the same thing.

Rikku had this overwhelming feeling to talk to her, to tell her it was all okay, and to hug her. That's what she wanted to do last night when Paine began cleaning out her closet but she fell still and silent until the end. She knew she had her own problems but the seemed to pale in comparison to what Paine had to go through. She was so strong to be better today, Rikku admired that. Never in a million years could she imagine what life would be like if she didn't know who her parents were, or if she had to live with different strangers. It made sense why Paine was so apprehensive about people. They had failed her before.

Paine had just decided to get up and maybe take another nap when her cell phone buzzed in her hand signaling she had an incoming call. Paine was nervous when she realized who was calling her. She felt exposed to Rikku now and she didn't like the feeling of the unknown, which is what she felt around the shorter woman. She didn't know how to feel.

"Hello?"

"I hate you."

Paine chuckled and walked toward the railing to lean on; all insecurities gone. "No you don't."

"Okay I don't, but please tell me you feel at least a little crappy this morning?"

"I do, happy?"

"Very actually, so I forgot to text Yunie that I wouldn't be doing yoga and I'm guessing like two minutes after you left she showed up."

Paine laughed. "How's your cheek?"

"What happened to me?" She asked with a chuckle as she rubbed her sore cheek.

"You tripped over your own tied laces."

Rikku laughed and blushed at the same time. "God I'm such a mess, I hope I didn't do anything crazy."

Paine laughed lightly, from her tone she could tell Rikku was blushing. "No nothing else, that was the highlight of the night though, you just got back up like nothing was wrong."

"Trooper."

"I'll say."

"So you had fun too right? You didn't have to be anywhere early today?"

"No, and yeah I did have a fun time." Paine put a hand to her face Christ she sounded like a sap.

"Good….'

The two were quiet for a little while. It was their first awkward silence. "What are you up to today?" Paine ventured. She dug her foot into the ground nervously.

"What? You mean besides sleeping? My Pops is taking Yunie and I out to dinner tonight, and if I'm really lucky super bitch will be there."

"Aw my best friend." Paine said sarcastically as she watched the street below her. Wakka could be seen jogging up the block toward the apartment. He was always on work out mode. In bliztball you had to keep a certain weight, and Paine supposed that was hard for someone as food loving as Wakka.

"What are you doing for the rest of the day?"

Paine shrugged. "I'll probably have to start studying for finals, I can't wait till summer."

"Damn that's starting early, finals aren't until a month from now."

"I have to keep scholarship."

"Oh I guess that makes sense." Something then came to mind. "Look I just wanted to say thanks for paying for everything last night, I completely forgot and if you wanna work something out I can pay you back…"

Paine smiled, sure it put a dent in her pocket she wasn't quite expecting but she would make due, an besides it felt good to spend money on someone besides herself or bills. "It was my idea right? My treat, don't worry about it Princess."

"Oh.. okay." Rikku could feel her cheeks burning. The two talked for a little while longer until Paine announced that she had to go. Rikku was now lying in bed grinning like an idiot.

Just then a loud knock and then the door being thrusted open and scared her into a sitting position.

"Rikku Milan Bayla it is 3 in the afternoon!"

Rikku rolled her eyes when she realized it was just her father. "Pops you can't just barge in here like that! What if I was masturbating!"

The scowl on Cid Bayla's face disappeared and he looked rather uncomfortable. He knew from the beginning raising a girl would be hard work, especially one like his. He knew Rikku would be a real handful when she was four and decided that she wanted to balance down the stair railing of their old home. Clearly it couldn't be done, but she got that twinkle in her eyes and her mother was right behind her holding her up as she did it. Cid was pretty sure that's when started losing his hair. "What!"

Rikku chuckled as she watched him hover in the doorway. "You can come in I was just kidding y'know."

"Yes well…" Cid was a rather tall bold man with a prominent brown beard which Rikku liked to call his "chin barbel," and a muscular build. He had soft green eyes and got dimples when he smiled; which was a rare occurrence now a days. Rikku always joked that he looked like the mob whenever he wore a suit for work but she much rather preferred him as he were now; clad in linen pants and a plain white t-shirt.

Now as he sat at the edge of her bed she realized she had missed him. He was hardly ever home now and she was even ashamed to say that Leblanc saw him more often only because they worked together at his firm. She was about to reach out and hug him but then she remembered Auron.

She couldn't even look at him after that thought came about.

"I came to wake you, you are sleeping in on my only day off."

"I went out last night." Rikku explained getting out of bed and looking for a sweater to throw on, she was in her panties and bra after all.

"Not with any boys I hope." Cid joked good naturedly.

"No Pops no boys." Rikku had to chuckle at that.

"Well good. Yuna and I had breakfast while you were sleeping, and I don't think I can take two boy crazy young ladies at the dinner table tonight."

"Ooh was she talking about Teedus?"

"Something like that, she seems happy. I'm sure Braska isn't too pleased though." Cid looked around Rikku's room, it had changed quite a bit since he was last in here. The unicorn poster near her full length mirror had come down in place of a bulletin board. Pictures of her and some friends peppered through important documents and a wall calendar with a baby chocobo on it that was two months behind.

Rikku pulled one of her brothers oversized blitz hoody's on and got back under the covers; leaning her back against the wooden bed frame. "It was only like two dates; wait till it hits the five way mark…and how come no one brought me breakfast?"

"Because you were up here wasting the day. It is lunch now."

"When are we going to dinner?"

"Reservations are for seven."

"When do you think we'll be home?"

"My one day off and you can't wait to get rid of me eh?"

"Is Leblanc coming?"

"She is…. Don't roll your eyes like that girl." He let up a little smile. His daughter's contempt for his… friend was more than obvious. He just wished she saw the Leblanc he did.

Rikku ran a hand over her ponytail and pulled it out from its hold. "Why are we all going to dinner?"

Cid shrugged. "I thought it would be nice, I haven't been around much and when I am it seems you aren't."

"Yeah well.." Rikku looked elsewhere remembering a few weeks ago when she deliberately missed dinner to go on a drive. "I was stressed, cunno."

Cid stood and nodded. "Don't tell me it is your classes…." He walked over to her calendar and changed it to the current month as he spoke. Rikku watched him with a sad smile on her face. He really wanted the best for her. Her best just wasn't enough though. "Auron tells me you are falling behind, that you seem distracted."

"How does he even know?" Rikku rolled her eyes. A sinking feeling came over her and she sighed. "Pop?"

"Mm?" Cid was kicking a pile of Rikku's clothes into a corner of the room. It made Rikku chuckle despite her mood. He was really trying this parent thing, too bad he was just as bad as she was. It was a good thing they had a cleaning lady.

"I uh…." Rikku looked down at her hands nervously and turned the ring on her right hand.

She couldn't do it.

"What's the dress code for tonight?"

Cid nodded not even noticing her discomfort. "Ah Lap-pig it's—"

Rikku snorted. "What kind of name is Lap pig for a restaurant?"

Cid shook his head and sat back down on the side of Rikku's bed again. "Interesting story, an old client of mine owns and operates it. His father named it after him when he was born, sadly he died and the boy was left with an unfit mother who used. They sent her to the nut house after trying to feed the kid car battery fluid and he's been in the system since then." Cid stood and crossed his arms. "He's a likeable head case, hell of a cook."

"So we're going to a cons restaurant?" Rikku raised a brow. "Never a dull moment with your work huh?"

"You would be surprised at the things that I see, just be happy you didn't have to go through any of that, you were lucky."

Lucky

With bribes of danish and tea in exchange for her presence Cid left the room leaving Rikku to her thoughts. She knew she was better off than most, but lucky? It was hard to try and compare herself to people who were going hungry or who had no home. She wasn't hungry nor was she homeless but sometimes she felt just as lost. Her thoughts came back around to Paine.

She knew she had held back on the details, but still the last impression was one Rikku couldn't shake. She didn't feel pity, she just felt sad. Paine was just a normal person like the rest of them, it wasn't fair.

Rikku wanted to ask more questions but she was probably right to just listen like she did. Getting out of bed and heading for the shower, Rikku wondered how Paine had gotten it together. Something had to change right? She was in the process of turning things around for herself and Rikku wanted to be there to cheer her on, but she couldn't. Not healthily anyway, she had to deal with things with Auron.

As the hot water ran down her face washing away the night Rikku remembered how only a month ago she felt helpless, ashamed, and scared, she still felt those things now but for some reason things felt different. If telling only one person took so much weight off then maybe telling more wouldn't hurt, and maybe they _would_ care, and maybe she could start over.

Maybe.

Rikku avoided her naked reflection in the foggy mirror as she dried off and changed into shorts and a dark purple long sleeved shirt. She still couldn't do it, she was afraid at who she might see.

She was good about hiding things, she had to be; so when she got downstairs she wore a smile. Today she was going to spend a little time with her father and talk about silliness and that would be that.

##

"What is this?" Paine asked after hearing the words, genocide, baby camp, and banana cream pie all in the same couple sentences.

It was around 8 at night and Paine and Nooj seemed to be the only ones home. Nooj was sitting with his legs crossed wearing a avocado green designer shirt he had bragged about finding in the five dollar bin at the local flee market, and some torn denim shorts. Paine had joked that it was one of his gayer outfits and suited him well.

Paine sat on the other couch not directly facing the tv. Her legs were up on their stained coffee table and an organic chemistry textbook sat in her lap opened to a page on solubility.

"Meh." Nooj shrugged. "Some thing on Baby extremists."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "What they got like twenty kids or something…how exactly does one become a baby extremist?"

Nooj shrugged again. "Don't know that's why I'm watching it. I think it's just people who have kids for the wrong reason, look at this one guy. Piaget, he runs scientific experiments on his three kids. He's got them on strict diets and everything. The mom died giving birth to the last one, so then he changes their names to Kid One, Two and Three."

Paine shook her head. "Alright I'll give him that, it's a bit extreme."

"Fucking crazy and all this show is doing is glorifying it."

"Mm." Paine sighed to herself; once Nooj started it was hard for him to stop. She made a point to look back to her text book.

Nooj nodded to himself when he noticed Paine's loss of interest. The front door could be heard unlocking and within a second Wakka entered the apartment with a backpack on his shoulders and his usual dopey smile.

"Hey." Paine acknowledged.

"Sup doctor Love."

Paine raised her eyebrow at the new nickname. Wakka just grinned and went into the kitchen.

"3…..2…." Nooj began once he heard Wakka open the fridge.

"Seriously ya! Was wrong wit you guys? I put my name on—"

"1."

"You guys are dicks." Paine chuckled as her tall friend went off in the kitchen slamming things and cursing in his thick accent making it difficult to understand.

Nooj laughed. "Ah c'mon."

Wakka was the latest roommate to move in, so Nooj and Gippal took it upon themselves to tease him endlessly and pull pranks on the poor guy. Wakka could easily take both of them but at heart he was a softie and the boys saw that.

It was also probably a territory thing.

"One of these days he's going to flip out." Paine warned.

"Sounds like he is right now." Nooj shook his head in amusement. "But you see there is a difference from Gippal and I."

"You're vegetarian and he's not?"

"Exactly." Nooj nodded. He cocked his head over the back of the couch to look into the kitchen. "Hey Walker!"

"It's Wakka brudda." Wakka growled from his spot in the kitchen.

"Check the freezer." Nooj laughed.

Wakka froze and then opened the freezer to find the majority of his premade, nutrient calculated meals frozen. A sighed of relief was heard and even Paine had to laugh at Nooj's resourcefulness.

"You alright in there?" Paine called from her seat on the couch.

Wakka chuckled a little at how quick he let his temper get to him. "Dat was a good one ya?"

"Ya." Nooj laughed.

##

"Look at you two." Cid smiled as Rikku and Yuna made it downstairs in time for the car to take them to dinner. He himself dressed in a light gray suit and a black button down. He looked to his right where Leblacn stood with a hand on her hip, she was wearing an elegant red dress that only made Rikku roll her eyes, anything for attention. "They looked exactly like their mothers I swear"

Rikku always liked hearing that; she always thought her mother was pretty. She finished climbing down the stairs and plopped the heels in her hand onto the floor.

"The darlings do look nice." Leblanc agreed.

"Thank you Leblanc." Yuna nodded politely. She was wearing a simple cream dress with a black cardigan."Forgive us for the delay, someone was being uncooperative." Yuna shot a glance at her cousin who was clumsily slipping into her heels.

"Someone was being fussy." Rikku shot back.

"Well someone is hungry." Cid interrupted the sister like banter. When his eldest moved out so young Cid was afraid Rikku would miss the sibling bond with someone, but the more time he spent around the two the more time he realized it wasn't so. It came to the point where he saw Yuna as his own daughter.

Rikku stomped her left foot into the two inch heel, adjusted her black dress and walked over to her father to fix his tie and lovingly giving his clean shaven face a soft tap. "Ah calm downs we're not gonna be late."

Cid sighed but smiled regardless. "Let's go."

The dining room was simple and elegant; floral accents here and there gave LapPig a lavish country style feel. Rikku was surprised that there was no pig logo anywhere on the menu. Yuna chuckled when she pointed this out.

"Don't bother ladies, and gentleman." A tan man with slicked back blonde hair said. He wore a pristine white chefs coat and black chefs pants.

"Ah Rikku Yuna, Juliann, this is Gippal. The talented chef I was telling you all about." Cid nodded to Gippal and they shook hands. "It is good to see you again, and judging from the waiting list to get here it is good to know you are keeping busy."

Gippal nodded. "It's good to see you too, and with a table full of such beautiful women you must be doing well for yourself." Gippal smile lingered on Rikku.

Cid laughed. "Please." He shook his head. "Yuna and Rikku are like my daughters."

"Hey!" Rikku chuckled.

"Oh right, that one is my daughter." They were offered a couple of drinks by the bar so natural Cid thought he was a comedian.

"Cid's girl huh? Nice to meet you." He reached out and shook Rikku's hand. "I'm Gippal Trent."

"Charmed." Rikku smiled but Yuna could tell it was dripping with sarcasm.

"And Yuna is my niece."

"Yuna, like Yunalesca?" Gippal put out his hand.

"Yes but everyone just calls me Yuna." She smiled politely and shook his hand back.

"Gippal." He took his hand back after the shake and smiled at Leblanc. "Julzy and I already know each other."

Leblanc rolled her eyes. She had been on Gippal case file since way back when she worked in the social work department. "Trent."

Gippal chuckled then clasped his hands together. "Well I hope you'll allow me and my team to treat you all to our seven course Chefs tasting, we've got some ramps in today the size of my…" Gippal caught himself. "Arm."

"That sounds like a good idea, what do you all say?"

"Sure,"

"That sounds nice."

"Of course."

"It's settled then. May we see the wine menu though?"

"Of course."

He didn't need to, but Gippal personally brought out every course and explained it. Usually with a PPX "_personne particulièrement extraordinaire_" Gippal would throw on his fancy white coat once and say hello and treat them to a bottle of wine on the house, but tonight he was throwing it on every chance he got.

At one point he was on the kitchen line in the "weeds" when one of the scrawny bus boys Clasko ran into the kitchen. "Chef!"

"Not now." Gippal mumbled moving from one area to the next quickly. He had one minute to get three entress in the window.

"Jade is on the move!"

Gippal stopped everything he was doing and looked over at the clock on the wall then at Clasko. "You know how to sauté shrimp right?"

"Uh… no I—"

"Good!" Gippal pulled off his head cap and tossed it to Clasko as he made his way toward the door. "Don't fuck it up!" He called after him.

Rikku had to pee

Like really bad

She rounded a corner where she remembered the bathrooms were and almost lost her bladder when she saw Chef Trent leaning up against the wall in what he must of thought was a sexy pose.

She put her hand to her heart "Mother of Shiva!"

"So I've been thinking we can't be that far apart in age." Gippal said coolly.

Rikku just stood there.

Was this guy serious?

"You do an awful lot of standing around." Rikku commented wondering now if she should take a left or right down the hall.

Gippal chuckled. "I bust my ass in here almost every day…"

"So what you want me to have sex with you because of that?" She hated his type. He was cocky, and not in a self confidant type of way, just a cocky kind of way.

Gippal laughed again and pushed himself off the wall. This girl was feisty, he liked it. "I'm not saying I haven't thought about it, I'm just saying let me take you out somewhere fancier, show you a good time, and then maybe we could circle back to this conversation."

The more he spoke the uglier he got to her. Rikku stepped away. "No thanks buddy."

"Alright that's cool, we can be buddies first. You should give me your number, we can hang out sometime."

Rikku ignored him as she began walking toward a random direction. The bathroom had to be down here somewhere.

Gippal cursed at himself. _Damn wrong approach. _He jogged after her. "Restrooms aren't this way ma'am."

"Oh so now I'm ma'am?" Rikku sighed and clenched her lower abdomen muscles. If she did not find the bathroom soon things were going to turn unclassy, and fast. "Where are they then?"

Gippal pulled out his cell phone and handed it to her.

"You're ridiculous." Rikku laughed. "I'm not giving you my number."

"Fine." Gippal shrugged, a little smile on his face. "I'll just give you mine, sound fair enough?"

"Fine."

Gippal reached into his wallet and pulled out one of his catering cards. "That's my cell." He pointed out, he then pointed down the hall they were going. "And that way is the little ladies room." He smirked confidently and left for the kitchen, secretly hoping he didn't just make an ass of himself in front of a pretty girl.

##

"I'm in love."

Paine sighed, trying to control her breathing. "Why are you in my room?" She was already under her covers when Gippal just barged in on "Paine time."

Gippal didn't seem to notice the quick look of embarrassment on hos friends face. He closed her door behind him and took a seat at her messy desk. "I'm in love." He repeated.

"Again, why are you telling me this now?" She sat up a little.

Gippal leaned forward at her desk and reached around for the desk lap. "It's always so fucking dark in here."

Paine only sighed. Realizing that she wasn't getting rid of her friend she decided to humor him. "Who is she this month?"

"I gave her my number…" Gippal trailed off thinking back to the encounter. "Our babies would be gorgeous."

"Are you high?"

"No…well a little." Gippal shrugged. "That's not the point though Dr. P."

"That's exactly the point."

"She's got amazing legs…like she was wearing this black dress that didn't show off her boobs, so naturally I had to look somewhere."

"Naturally."

"She's got blonde hair too."

"I thought you didn't like blondes?"

"She's the only exception."

"Good lord." Paine rolled her eyes. What most people didn't know about Gippal was that he was a closet hopeless romantic. He played all hard and tough just because that's all he had ever known, but deep down inside her was a mush ball.

It was sickening.

"I'm serious Dr. P! She's got this smile… like, it's just different…"

"Was she smiling at you or the guy behind you?" Paine jested.

Gippal thought on it. "I was standing in front of a wall." Paine laughed and Gippal furrowed a brow not getting why it was so funny. "Anyway I need your help to see if I screwed things up with her."

"Did you ask her to sleep with you?"

"Eh…not directly."

"What do you mean not directly?"

Gippal sat back in the rickety desk chair. He was wearing faded jeans and a white undershirt. He must have literally just gotten home because his hair was still slicked back.

"In a round about kind of way…."

"Yeah you ruined it, now get out."

"Wait hold on, how?"

"You can't just ask women to sleep with you just because you're attractive Gip.

"You think I'm attractive?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Paine rolled her eyes. "I don't get it though why not? I thought girls liked honesty."

"Yeah that's a lie."

"I gotta see her again…"

"You have that crazy look in your eye…."

"It's the look of love Dr. P, Love." Gippal stood up. "Where do nice girls hang out?"

Paine shrugged, hell if she knew, she wasn't a nice girl. "Libraries."

"Nah that's for the marrying types."

"I thought you said you guys were going to have babies."

"I wanna do the trying." Gippal said suggestively moving his hips.

"Get out." Paine shook her head and pointed to the door.

"Fine fine." Gippal messed up Paine's hair playfully ignoring her glare before leaving.

##

"Fuck!" Paine cursed slightly out of breath as she came to a stop. She watched with anger as the bus just kept going on.

She had been riding the same bus for months now Monday through Friday, you would think the same balding out of shape looking man would recognize her running after the bus.

She let out a frustrated sigh and then stole a look at her phone for the time. There was no way in hell she would make it to Auron's class on time if she walked, and Paine just knew he was itching for a reason to fail her.

It was then that Paine remembered Mackenzie. She had hoped the little girl knew when to get off the bus, sure she was a smart kid but like all kids her age her attention usually wasn't always there. Paine shook her head cursing again as she headed for the subway system.

If this was any indication on how her Monday was going to go then Paine had half a mind to turn right back around and crawl back into her cold bed.

She tried to wipe the sleep from her eyes as she sat on the moss green chairs of the M train. Paine hated taking the train to school, mainly because she needed to take two trains and then walk a block to get to campus. The bus went straight in.

_**You're not here :(**_

A text from Rikku read an hour later. Paine was still on the second train. Was it just her or was inter city transportation going to shit? She couldn't help but smile though she felt a little bad she wasn't there. She and Rikku hadn't talked since Saturday when Rikku called to make sure Paine was alive. On Sunday Paine had thought about calling or texting something, she just couldn't think of anything worth saying. She was not going to be that person that only texted you "Hi", and besides she couldn't exactly say what was on her mind; "I was just thinking about you." It was true, she had thought about Rikku a lot this passed weekend, but Paine was not going to go there. The space was good for her.

_**Late start, missed my bus, on my way.**_

Paine nodded to herself, straight to the point.

_**He locked the doors.**_

Paine groaned. Auron was known for locking the doors to his lecture randomly. She used to laugh at theoes students who would peer into the class room all sad eyed and pleading. Now she was one of them. Why go to school today then? She could afford to miss her Chem lab that she had later in the day

##

"Ooh someone looks grumpy today." Rikku teased with a surprised smile on her face as she exited Auron's lecture hall and found Paine leaning up against the wall across from the room.

She was lucky today; she hid in the crowd of students rushing to get out of class. Her smile stayed in place as Paine adjusted her messenger bag on her shoulder and offered up the worst attempt at a smile ever seen, but it was an attempt and Rikku knew it was just for her.

"What did I miss?" Paine asked as they fell into step alongside one another.

Rikku shrugged. "I dunno I was doodling."

"Should have guessed."

"How long were you waiting outside?"

"About five minutes, I figured I would try and catch the last bit of his lecture," and wait for you.

Rikku nodded. "So what are we doing today?"

It was a fair enough question. They had spent the last four Mondays hanging out with one another. Paine thought and came up with nothing, so she shrugged. "I'm so sleepy." She admitted and they entered the noon day sun.

"Aww." Rikku rubbed Paine's leather jacket clad back before she could think about.

Paine felt a surge of energy come from the simple gesture. She and Rikku exchanged looks of pleasant uncertainty before Rikku spoke again. "Oh! Let's go get cookies!"

"Cookies?" Paine shook her head no.

"Ah c'mon everyone loves cookies."

"Well I don't right now."

"Wow you are grumpy." Rikku chuckled. "What were you up late or something?"

"Studying, then I couldn't sleep."

"You should have called me! I was up till like three."

"How!" Paine asked surprised. "Or better question, why?"

"I couldn't sleep either." She shrugged.

"How are you so awake right now?"

"I took my happy pills!" Rikku joked jumping up and down a little.

"I don't doubt that for a second."

'Hey!"

Their laughter died out and Paine felt the need to speak again.

"I was going to text you Sunday."

"Why didn't you? I was bored all day."

Paine shrugged. "I didn't really have anything to say."

Rikku nodded then got an idea. "So I was thinking, about some things you said Friday?"

"Uh huh." Paine nodded wondering where she was going.

"And I come to the conclusion that I wanted to give you a hug." Rikku nodded when Paine looked at her like she was crazy.

"Right here?" Paine then asked after looking around the crowded quad. "Rikku it's fine that stuff happened a lil' while ago you don't have to give—" but before she could finish she felt the added pressure of Rikku's body against her own. Paine couldn't help but chuckle and use one arm to hug her back. "Okay."

When Rikku pulled away she was all smiles. Sure it was just a friendly hug, but she couldn't help but feel tingly all over.

Paine didn't know what to say. She felt out of place but not uncomfortable. She tried to think back to the last time someone hugged her. Or at least hugged her and made her freeze up like this. She had long since realized that maybe Rikku was just one of those touchy feel-y people she always heard about.

Yeah that was it.

##

"I can't take how quiet it is here." Rikku was lying on her back clad in her pajamas. It was Wednesday night and she hadn't seen or spoken to Paine since Monday at school. It usually went that way. Paine seemed to have a hectic schedule which is why she was pleasantly surprised to get a call from her.

She would be lying if she said she hadn't missed her. They went to Dontes again for lunch on Monday and basically spent the whole day being silly.

"No one is home with you?" Paine questioned. She was lying on her bed fully clothed looking up at the lines of light projected onto her ceiling by the street lamps outside and her closed blinds.

Deep down inside she knew why she had called Rikku. She had been thinking about her all day. It was foolish of her to, they were obviously just friends, but aside from her little dysfunctional bunch Paine didn't have many friends. Rikku was interesting, and unfiltered and just different from everything Paine was used to. Down stairs she could hear the tv on, Nooj and everyone else were still awake. They were watching some blitzball game and Paine was almost certain she knew the score by how many times she heard them screaming at the tv or cheering.

"Nope just me." Rikku was quiet for a second. "I lock my door and everything, I'm such a scardy cat."

"Well you live uptown, nothings gonna happen to you."

"You don't know that!" She curled the covers around her a little more.

"You might get robbed, but as long as you stay put nothings gonna happen."

"Way to look on the dark side of things."

Paine chuckled, "I'm realistic."

"Well I got a bat under my bed….it's not funny!"

"Can you even swing a bat the right way Princess?"

"There's a right way? I thought you…y'know just swung." She shrugged. She could hear Paine laugh a little more. It was easily becoming one of her favorite sounds. "Oh yeah like you know how to swing a bat, _Princess_."

"I can do it without breaking a nail too."

"You're a jerk." Rikku giggled.

**AN: Your reviews make my day :) This was a bit of a filler chapter but I bet you can see there is a potential for some craziness with Gippal being thrown in the mix. Can anyone guess Paine's major is yet? Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Ahh!"

"Ri—Rikku you can't run from it every time!" Paine sighed as she watched behind a metal chain linked fence as Rikku dropped her bat once again and tried her best to dodge the baseballs being pelted to her.

"What do you expect me to do!" She asked incredulously while adjusting her red baseball cap then glaring over at Paine. "That frickin thing is trying to kill me!"

"You're being dramatic." Paine called crossing her arms.

She didn't know who's idea this had been.

"No you're being dramatic!"

But it was apparent whoever's idea it had been hadn't thought it through.

"Am I?" Paine asked crossing her arms. She was wearing a baseball styled shirt with the elbow length sleeves and neck the same royal blue as her backwards baseball cap. Rikku was dressed similar but in red. She had insisted that they had to look the part. Of course this was before she actually learned that she would be in the batting cage by herself.

"Uh huh, it's not as easy it looks Pai."

"It would be if you just listened to me." Paine mumbled.

"What!"

"Nothing! Just try it one more time, you almost had it." Paine nodded encouragingly.

Rikku looked apprehensive before nodding and picking up the metal bat. She approached the plate and assumed the stance Paine had spent all morning trying to teach her.

"Relax your shoulders a little more." Paine instructed.

Rikku tried to relax as she nodded signaling to the lanky teenager adding balls to the machine that she was ready.

He added a ball and Rikku immediately jumped away.

"Eee!"

"Rikku!"

"That's it! I quit!" Rikku dropped the bat and Paine rolled her eyes. Seeing this Rikku marched over to the fence and poked at it causing it to rattle between them as she glared Paine down. "You come in here then!" She ripped off her baseball cap in emphasis.

"Fine." Paine quickly entered the cage and Rikku took her original place, behind the fence. Paine picked up the bat and bent her knees at the plate.

Rikku whistled suggestively causing Paine to turn around and glare ultimately resulting in her to miss the first ball. Rikku only shrugged.

Paine focused her attention back on the machine reassuming her stance. Paine took a swing and missed. "Shut up."

"Not so easy now huh?"

"Shut up."

"My dead grandma could hit better than you Pai-day, and she's dead."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up." Paine bit her lip trying to focus.

"Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I hit at _least_ one."

A loud cracking noise could be heard as the bat connected with the oncoming baseball. Paine straightened up and turned around with a grin on her face. "That's how you swing a bat."

Rikku rolled her eyes, but could feel a smile tugging at her own lips. An hour had passed and by the time one o'clock rolled around Rikku was actually hitting a few.

It was Sunday afternoon and the summer heat was starting to make itself more known. Paine found the heat welcoming from the cold, it was the first day she didn't need her jacket with her.

The two were waiting in line to return their rented bats at a mid town batting cage Rikku had found online Thursday afternoon.

"Finals are coming up." She heard Rikku say beside her. Up until this point the blonde had been in her own thoughts.

"They are, are you ready?"

Rikku shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Paine was quiet for a second; she didn't quite know how to ask what was on her mind. The subject of Auron had been pushed aside a week ago for more favorable conversation. She decided to wait it out. They finally got to return their bats and started walking down the street towards Rikku's home. Paine just thought she would walk her there.

You knew you were in the Heights when the buildings got larger and more spacious, the streets got cleaner, and you began seeing trees.

"I wanna show you something." Rikku finally said once they neared her building. "Are you hungry? I'm hungry." They stopped at an old brick home with Rikku's car parked along the tree lined street. Now that Paine was seeing the neighborhood in the daylight she had to say it looked like something on a postcard; the many trees were finally getting their bright green hue back. They climbed the small stoop to the large wooden looking door. Paine noted that it only had two locks on it instead of the several on hers.

"A little yeah." Paine shrugged following Rikku into house "What do you want to show me?"

"Just something." She smiled and leaned down to take off her shoes. Rikku playfully leaned over and began untying Paine's as well. Paine swatted Rikku's hands away as she untied the rest of the way and began to take off her shoes.

Rikku kicked her shoes aside and then hollered to see if anyone was home. She already knew no one would be but it couldn't hurt to try. "I would show you around, but something tells me you've already been here." She joked turning on a few lights.

Paine slowly followed taking in the lavish home as she went. "It took us a while to find your room." She nodded in agreement. "Looks different in the light though." The place looked like something out of a _Higher Living_ magazine; beautifully decorated but unpractical and cold.

_So this was how the other half lived?_

Paine asked herself while looking at a glass piece near a small seating area. She highly doubted that anyone had sat in those chair ever.

"I bet, I never did thank you for helping me in." She heard Rikku's voice and followed it passed a formal dining room and into a kitchen that looked a little more lived in than the rest of the house. Rikku's body was hidden by the stainless steel door of her refrigerator.

"It's fine. I would've felt bad if you came in here and happened to break one of those fancy sculptures you guys got going on in the living room." Paine chuckled aloud after a second when she saw a large glass candy container of jelly beans sitting on the counter near a toaster.

"Yeah well, it's not like Pop's would notice, he's never here." Rikku's head was still in the fridge.

"What about your brother?" Paine questioned remembering Rikku mentioning having one.

"He and Pop's don't get along too well, he moved out."

"Do you still talk?" Paine asked.

"Sometimes, he's pretty busy with blitzball and his shop."

"Wait….you're brother is Kirill Bayla, of the Psychs?" Paine raised an eyebrow.

Rikku moved aside a container of milk. "Uh huh, I just call him Brother though…cause he's my…"

"Brother yeah I get it."

"Do you want something to drink?" Rikku asked pulling out a jug of iced tea. Without Paine having to answer she turned around and went into a cupboard to fetch two glasses. She was starting to realize that Paine never really said when she wanted things, maybe because she felt like it was asking too much or she didn't want people to fuss over her.

"Thank you." She said once Rikku handed her the glass. She was about to take a sip when Rikku stopped her by grabbing onto her wrist gently. "What?"

"We gotta put mint in it first." Rikku went back into the fridge to pull out a plastic container of mint leafs. She plucked two off a tiny stem and put one in Piane's glass then her own.

"Can I drink it now or do you wanna sprinkle fairy dust on it next?"

"Some people would just say thank you." Rikku said before taking a sip of her own iced tea. She watched as Paine smirked before drinking some as well. "So do ya want a ham and cheese sandwich or a….ham and cheese panini?" Rikku couldn't think of anything else to make. "Oh! Or mac n cheese?"

"Whatever you want."

"No you have to pick."

"Why?"

"Because Paine you never pick."

"I never pick?" Paine raised an eyebrow. "I always pick, and this is your house."

Rikku laughed and then plugged in the panini press. "What have we really done together to unanimously decide who always picks what?"

Paine chuckled. "I dunno, it just felt natural to reply to the opposite of whatever you were saying."

"Well let's do karaoke next!"

"No."

"What uh c'mon it'll be fun." Rikku whined playfully as she pulled out Dijon mustard, ham, cheese, and a tomato.

"I don't sing." Paine clarified

"I bet you have a lovely voice if you tried."

"There is no way in hell Bayla."

Rikku only laughed. She began slicing a tomato and nicked herself with the knife causing her to quickly pull her hand away and suck in her breath quickly. "Ah, damn."

Paine was at her side in seconds. "You okay? Let me see?"

"Ugh I can't look at blood." Rikku looked away as Paine took her right hand in both her hands.

"It's a little cut." Paine tried to calm her down as she examined the cut better, bright red blood began to seep out of the blondes pointer finger luckily the deep chrome looking sink was close by. "Here I'm just going to run some cold water over it." She could feel Rikku tense up beside her and as if something was controlling her other than herself Paine used her left hand to wrap around the smaller girls body in an effort to comfort as she let the cool water rinse out the small cut. She glanced at Rikku then back to her finger. "It's okay see?"

Rikku was frozen, but not because of her fear of seeing her own blood. No that wasn't scary at all compared to how fast her heart was jack hammering in her chest. It mirrored the same feeling she got when she hugged Paine on Monday but somehow intensified.

Wow she was in trouble.

Paine removed her hand quickly once she regained motor control and felt Rikku's eyes on her.

Paine did everything she could to focus on the small tanned hand in her own and not the piercing green eyes that she was sure were looking at her, questioning her actions.

Paine couldn't take questions she didn't know the answers to.

What the hell was wrong with her?

"Do you have band-aids?" She asked finally looking up to meet Rikku's gaze. She couldn't read the expression on the blondes face.

Rikku blinked "What?"

"Band-aids." Paine all but dropped Rikku's hand and took a few steps back. Touching her was doing things that Paine needed to stop from happening. This seemed to snap Rikku out of whatever haze she was in.

"Oh, yeah I'll go put one on." Rikku hurried out of the kitchen.

Paine let out a sigh once she was sure Rikku was far away enough not to hear it. Okay so maybe dropping her hand like that was a little mean.

She wanted to be nice to Rikku not mean.

It hit Paine that she was making a conscious effort here.

_For what though?_

Rikku had taken her time putting a band-aid on. She needed time to get the flushing feeling from her face. When she returned she was surprised to find her sandwich already made and toasted. "I didn't know how much Dijon you wanted." Paine shrugged.

"You cut mine?" Rikku asked noticing how Paine's sandwich was whole and hers was cut diagonal just like she liked it.

"Yeah didn't you say that's how you ate it?" Paine asked, her tone suggesting that she was worried she did something wrong.

Rikku smiled, she had forgotten that she had even said that. She took a seat beside Paine at the in kitchen breakfast nook. "Yeah."

Lunch was quiet.

"Thanks." Paine said as Rikku stood and picked up her empty plate on her way to the sink.

"I'll do these later." She spoke to no one in particular.

"No cleaning lady?"

"She only comes on Tuesdays." Rikku explained not catching that Paine was being sarcastic.

"Oh." Paine looked down to her hands.

Silence

"So I wanna go change real quick, these shirts are itchy." Rikku said making a point to tug on her baseball shirt a little.

"Well that's what you get when you buy them from some random." Paine stood.

"Do you want a shirt?" Rikku motioned to Paine in a similar shirt. She then turned and began walking toward the staircase Paine remembered pulling her up just last week. "C'mon." Rikku called after her. Paine tried not to stare at Rikku's ass they climbed the stairs.

She sat on the far edge of Rikku's unmade bed taking in the other girls room as Rikku went though her drawers to find another shirt to change into.

Her room could probably fit two and half of Paine's, and there was wood everywhere. It made Paine feel like she was in a log cabin or something. The two large windows on either side of her queen sized bed cast a brilliant light into the room making the light purple on Rikku's sheets and the fuzzy rug seemingly glow. In one corner of the room was a small antique looking desk with a few textbooks on it and Rikku's school bag hanging from the chair. What really caught Paine's attention in the room was the painter's easel propped up against the wall near the desk. Paine assumed the poor thing was retired because it was missing a leg.

"Paine!"

"Huh?" Paine turned around to see Rikku standing in front of her holding up a bright pink t-shirt. Paine shook her head. "No."

"We are almost like the same size but your boobs are way nicer than mine. This should fit." Rikku explained; a goofy smile on her face.

Paine looked down to her chest then back up at a smiling Rikku as she pushed the shirt into her hands. "Don't you have something a little less….you?"

Rikku pouted and turned around looking through her drawers. Paine fingered the soft material of the loud pink shirt as she continued to studying the room. She looked to Rikku's nightstand on the right side of her bed and noticed a few pictures. One was of Rikku and another blonde man with blonde hair slicked back in a messy mohawk, Paine immediately recognized it as her brother Kirill. The two were standing close together smiling in that same way Rikku always smiled. Kirill had his arm around Rikku protectively who was resting a hand on his chest.

The other picture was of two little kids in bathing suits and a man and a woman with them. A smaller version of the adults she had just seen. Kirill had a mess of blond curls and dorky ears, Rikku looked adorable sitting on top of the man's bare shoulders her little hands deep in his brown hair and a grin on her face. The man looked proud. This had to be his family. Next to the man and holding a tanned hand on Kirill's shoulder was a beautiful blonde woman in a bikini who looked exactly like Rikku.

"That's my Mom."

Paine turned around and noticed Rikku was no longer looking for a suitable shirt. "She's pretty."

Rikku nodded and sat beside Paine on the edge of her bed. "She was."

"You look a lot like her actually," Paine said picking up the picture frame and looking at it. Rikku only smiled sadly. Paine noticed how her eyes didn't light up like they usually did when she smiled. "You miss her."

Rikku nodded. "I kinda wonder if things would be different if she were still here. I wonder a lot about how she would see me now…y'know?"

Paine nodded.

Rikku sighed pushing the sadness away. "Look how dorky Brother looks." She pointed and Paine chuckled for Rikku's sake.

"Look how dorky you look." Paine pointed out to the little pigtails in her hair.

"Hey I looked cute! Yunie would argue that that swimsuit was defiantly in season."

Paine laughed. "Do you have a picture of Yuna?"

"You haven't met Yunie yet that's right!" Rikku leaned over Paine's body to take another picture off her nightstand. "Here's Yunie for graduation, she has mine in her room."

Paine smiled at the picture of the brunette smiling proudly with black fuzzy shawl and the rose in her hand. "Beautiful eyes." She admitted out loud.

Rikku grabbed the frame from Paine grinning. "Watch it that's my cousin."

Paine laughed. "Don't worry I'm not interested." She furrowed her brows at Rikku's questioning gaze and motioned for the shirt in her hands. "Is that one less pink?"

Rikku looked down to the white shirt in her hands. "Yup." She handed Paine shirt. "The bathroom is right in there."

"Thanks." Paine stood and handed Rikku the pink shirt in exchange for the plain white v neck long sleeved one.

Rikku put Yuna's picture back on her nightstand and sat in thought for a second.

_She wasn't interested?_

_Interested in what?_

_Girls or just Yunie?_

_Does Paine think I'm gay?_

_Maybe that's why she pulled away so quickly in the kitchen…._

_Maybe she was totally not okay with it._

_Am I gay?_

_Guys suck…they're gross…._

_Paine's not gross though_

_Well she's not a guy dumbass._

_Well…not all guys are gross…I just….like her more_

_Why though?  
><em>

"What does this mean?"

"What does what mean?" Paine asked re-entering the room in the white shirt. It seemed to fit her well.

"Nothing…just…thinking too hard." Rikku chuckled and swatted the air above her head trying to dismiss the thoughts.

"Well don't think too hard, you can hurt yourself like that."

Rikku stuck her tongue out at Paine and then stood and went into the bathroom to change.

##

Paine was having a hard time keeping her eyes open, although the sight in front of her was worth the struggle.

The only thing she could really hear was Rikku's hand brushing against the canvas paper as she moved. The rhythmic swushing sound practically lulling Paine to sleep. She had to admit this was the calmest she had seen the other woman. She wore the slightest facial expression of concentration as she used her small palm to smudge in an area. Sometimes she would tip toe on her bare feet to reach an area and the bright pink shirt was wearing would ride up just a little exposing soft tan skin.

It had to be late in the evening.

The once bright light coming in from the large windows in the Bayla attic was now cast on the far wall and not on the ground where it had been when they first entered the room.

Where had the day gone?

Paine was here, in a place that seemed untouched by anyone other than Rikku in years.

The room had wooden floors much like Rikku's room and off white walls, an easel, a small chest, and a couch similar to the ones Paine remembered sitting uncomfortably in when she went to counseling. That was it, the room lay completely bare besides those things.

Rikku had explained that like fighting she had an escape too.

Then she brought her here.

Her mother's old art studio.

At first it seemed too much for Paine, too intrusive. She sat rigid on the crimson loveseat. Rikku sat with her for a minute or two wondering if this was a bad idea before deciding that showing Paine what she meant would be easier.

Paine shrugged in agreement; it seemed words weren't commonplace here. She had watched curiously on as Rikku went into the small chest and pulled out a bulky looking pencil and then one of the ones Paine always saw her using in class.

It made sense now why she had to go back and get the one she left in Auron's class.

These things were a part of her.

At first Paine felt like she shouldn't be there, like maybe she was witnessing something she shouldn't but as time passed and she relaxed into the couch, that unexplainable quiet that had sustained them until this point made complete sense now.

"What are you drawing?" She found herself ask softly from her spot lying down on the couch.

Rikku's dreamy green eyes flickered up and met Paine's warm ones. Her voice was yielding and suggested that there really shouldn't have been question.

"You."

##

"So it… went well… and…I was wondering…where…you have been lately." Yuna paused out of breath from doing her sit ups, she hugged her knees.

"Take five?" Rikku asked pulling her weight off of her cousin's shoes. Yuna nodded and Rikku sat back making sure the very tips of their shoes were touching. She figured telling Yuna about Paine would be easier than telling her about Auron. "I've been hanging out with someone, a friend."

Yuna reached a hand up and adjusted her choppy pony tail. "A friend huh? Is this that guy you were asking me about liking a while ago?"

"Well no, not a guy. Her name is Paine, we have Auron's class together."

Yuna seemed quiet for a second or two. "So do you like her, what's she like?"

"What?"

"Do you like her?" Yuna asked again reaching to her left for her water bottle. They had managed to snag an open instructing room early Monday morning. Yuna's fashion show was a week and a half away and she practically lived at the gym now, probably because Tidus did as well but Rikku saw no need to put her out there like she was doing right now. Yuna chuckled at Rikku's face. "You look like a fish out of water right now."

Rikku closed her mouth and laughed, she playfully kicked one of Yuna's shoes. "Yunie." She whined.

Yuna grinned at the unexpected response, Rikku was actually blushing. "Aw you have a chick crush."

"Shut up before someone hears you, she works here y'know." Rikku said looking around.

"Wow it must be serious. What was her name again?"

"Paine."

"Paine Kerrigan?"

Rikku shrugged. She guessed that sounded like a last name Paine would have. All in your face and Badassy. Paine Smith would have been boring.

"She works with Tidus sometimes, he's talked about her." Yuna seemed to get a thoughtful look on her face that Rikku couldn't quite read. The look was gone in a second though and Yuna tapped Rikku's knee. "I want all the details after my next two sets, c'mon." Yuna rested her back down on the floor and waited until she felt Rikku on her shoes.

"I want to see how they do tomorrow on actual combat, so I'm going to need your body."

"If I had a dime every time a woman asked me for this." Tidus grinned leaning back in his chair and motioned to his body.

"You wouldn't be living in the Heights."

"Probably not yeah." He laughed and then immediately sat up behind the desk and began to fix his shirt and his hair.

Paine still thought he needed a haircut.

Paine raised an eyebrow at him and turned around to see Yuna and Rikku coming from the locker rooms dressed in their street clothes. Rikku had yet to notice her but her cousin Yuna was eyeing her.

Paine turned back to look at Tidus. "So I'm off to class, leave this stuff for Wakka and tell him I need him for tomorrow's class too."

"You got it." Tidus nodded taking the binder from Paine.

"Yunie. No….Yunie…."

"Hello." Yuna smiled once Paine turned around from the desk. "I'm Yuna."

"Uh… Hi." Paine raised an eyebrow at the forwardness of her voice and how close she was standing. "I'm Paine…"

"I know."

Paine glanced at Rikku who was looking very apologetic.

"So Paine how tall are you?"

Paine adjusted her messenger bag on her shoulder nervously. "Uh, 5:6… 5:7 I guess…"

"Hmm. That's perfect." Yuna nodded making no effort to hide her up and down glances.

"Yunie." Rikku rolled her eyes. "We have to go to class now unlike you so…bye, c'mon Pai." Rikku grabbed Paine's arm and pulled her away.

"What the hell?" Paine could be heard asking Rikku as the two left the building.

Yuna turned to Tidus and offered him a smile. "She's perfect."

"For?"

"For the show! I have to call Lulu." Yuna nodded excitedly.

"Wait a minute that's Paine…she's not doing a fashion show…she hates fashion…"

"She seems to have her own….style thing going on…." Yuna shrugged already typing away at her cell phone.

Tidus chuckled. "I bet ten bucks you can't get her to do it, ten bucks and another date this weekend."

"You're on."

##

"I forgot to tell you that she's a little um…neurotic sometimes." Rikku nodded as they entered the large lecture hall.

"Really you forgot that part?" Paine chuckled. "How's your finger?" She asked noticing the chocobo band-aid on her right hand.

"Oh… it opened up again." Rikku frowned while looking at her finger. "I don't want to get it infected so I put a new band-aid on it."

Paine nodded. "Good, it was just a little cut but the ones at the tips of your fingers sometimes take a little while to close."

"Yeah I guess." Rikku nodded as they found their usual seats high up in the lecture hall.

Paine looked to her slender hands. "I had a few when I was working with Gip... and fighting."

"Let me see!" Rikku grabbed hold of Paine's left hand and ran her fingers along Paine's. "You have piano hands."

Paine was having a hard time focusing on what Rikku was saying. Her left hand was being cradled gently in Rikku's small right while her favored hand tickled her palm lightly as her fingers traced a few scars. She swallowed hard. "What?"

"Piano hands." Rikku repeated not even noticing the effect she was having on her friend. "Y'know like dainty hands but long fingers…so you can reach between the keys."

Paine pulled away her hand. "Dainty?"

Rikku chuckled. "Well what do you want me to say you have man hands? Cause you don't."

"Yeah well." Paine made a fist with her hand. "These hands aint so dainty when they're bringing on the hurt."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I could take you."

Paine relaxed her hand and stared at Rikku. "You can't be serious. Do you know where I grew up?"

"Psh do you know where I grew up?"

"The Heights."

"Well so what? I got into fights."

Paine laughed. "Who did you fight Princess?"

"I fought some people…."

"When?"

Rikku shrugged. "I don't like to talk about it."

"You're full of it." Paine laughed lightly.

"And you swear you're all tough."

Paine pointed a finger at herself. "I am all tough."

"Oh yeah you're real tough." Rikku said sarcastically. She leaned closer to Paine and poked her shoulder rather roughly.

"Ow, what the fuck?" Paine questioned while rubbing her shoulder.

"Softie." Rikku laughed.

"That wasn't fair I wasn't ready."

At some point during the lecture Rikku leaned closer to Paine. "Yunie wants to have coffee with us." She whispered. Her cell phone was cradled in her left hand on her lap. She had been texting basically all lecture.

"Us?" Paine questioned. "What she wants to ask me my shoe size next?"

"Will you come?"

Paine shrugged and was about to answer when Professor Guarrd's loud voice cut her off.

"Would you care to share your opinion Paine?"

Paine straightened up; she had no idea what they were lecturing on. "Uh I disagree?"

Everyone turned to look at her.

"You disagree in responsible ethical altruism? Explain." He crossed his arms and sent her a challenging look.

"Well, _Professor_ I disagree in the belief that it's a just world, and not everyone specifically given this altruism held in society chooses to use it, it's more egoism that anything else in my opinion."

The class was quiet.

Auron mumbled something that couldn't be heard. "Regardless of your views I would like to see you after class." He turned back to his podium and continued on with lecture. One by one everyone soon cast their eyes to the front of the room again.

"Sorry." Rikku whispered.

"It's okay." Paine shrugged. She wasn't afraid of this guy.

"I'm glad he called on you and not me, no way I could have showed him up like that." Rikku said as bundles of students began getting up and leaving, class had been dismissed a little early today. Only one more class before the final and then summer break would begin.

Paine stood and pulled her messenger bag over her shoulder. "I'm surprised it worked, I BS'ed the entire thing."

Rikku laughed and stood as well. "Do you want me to wait for you?"

Paine shook her head no. "I can handle him, go to coffee."

"Meet me there?"

Paine smiled a little. "Yeah."

Rikku smiled back grabbed Paine's forearm to give it a small squeeze and then happily trotted down the steps of the auditorium styled room.

Paine watched her leave and then turned to see Auron watching her watching Rikku. Pained sighed and slowly made her way down the steps.

##

"Well do you at least have a headshot?" Lulu asked. She didn't have time for this she had things to do.

"Now why the hell would I have a headshot of her? I just met her."

"Can she walk?"

"She kinda walks like a model." Rikku piped up over her frothy iced coffee.

Yuna turned from looking at Lulu and gave her a teasing look. "Oh and how would you know?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Anyway I think you guys have the wrong person, I don't see Paine going along with this at all."

Yuna sighed. "I know but she's perfect." She and her long time friend Lulu were sitting next to one another at the student run coffee shop on campus. Rikku sat across from them with an empty seat to her left.

"Perfect?" Lulu raised a finely shaped eyebrow at the word. "She isn't fat is she?"

Yuna laughed. "No far from it actually, very symmetrical bone structure too. She's very pretty, all we need to do is….fix her up a little." Yuna nodded making sure not to insult Rikku's friend.

Lulu seemed to be thinking about it; her raven bang falling more into her face as she tilted her head. "I don't have the time to completely train someone on the basics…."

"I'll do it, you'd probably scare her." Yuna patted her friends shoulder and Rikku couldn't help but laugh.

"Well where is she?" I have an appointment soon."

Lulu was graduating this semester and had interview after interview to attend if she wanted to land the "perfect job."

"She should be any minute now, it's already been like 15 minutes since class ended." Rikku said looking at her cell phone for the time. She was a little worried now.

"Oh there!" Yuna pointed off to somewhere outside and all three heads turned to see Paine walking toward the coffee shop.

"Hm…she dresses rather simply…but has great posture." Lulu commented.

Rikku continued to worry as Paine walked in and apologized for being late before sitting beside her. Something seemed off. She didn't know how she knew, but she just knew.

"You okay?" Rikku asked.

Paine nodded. "I'm fine, Hi Yuna…" She stopped when she noticed Lulu. "Do we… know each other?"

Lulu seemed to be studying the girl across from her harder. "You're Wakka's friend."

Paine nodded slowly giving Lulu an odd look. "You're Wakka's _friend_." She repeated back slower.

Lulu nodded and the two eyed each other wondering just how much the other knew.

Rikku and Yuna exchanged looks.

"Uh so great you all know each other." Yuna nodded. "Lulu and I just wanted to you know, talk Paine."

"I'll talk to you." She glanced at Lulu making a point to shift her attention solely on Yuna.

Rikku raised an eyebrow at this.

"Right well, as you probably don't know Lulu and I are fashion marketing student's, and I'm sure you've seen the flyers around talking about our spring to summer fashion show." Paine shook her head no. "Oh…well they are practically like everywhere."

"Sorry?"

"It's fine, well the proceeds are going to a few charities in the city."

"Uh huh." Paine was wondering where she fit into all of this.

"It would be great if you could lend your support…" Yuna began nervously playing with a beaded bracelet on her arm.

"What do you guys want money or something?"

"No not money." Lulu spoke up. "We are short a model."

Paine leaned back in her seat putting two and two together. She glanced at Rikku. "Get Rikku to do it."

"I'm too short." Rikku nodded with a chuckle.

"Well we could potentially put you in heels but after last Halloween I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself like that again." Yuna joked. "Besides we are looking for a specific look we feel you have."

"A look?"

Lulu and Yuna both nodded.

Paine began shaking her head slowly. "I don't think—"

Yuna jumped up from her seat startling the entire table. She grabbed Lulu and practically pulled her up as well. "Think on it. C'mon Lulu."

Rikku and Paine watched the two leave then Paine finally looked at Rikku questioningly.

"Yunie doesn't really take no for an answer."

"Ah." Paine nodded.

"What was that about?"

"What? Like I'm going to model some expensive ass wrapping paper or…duck tape dress or something? No they can find someone else."

"Well I mean the whole Lulu thing, but I think you could totally be a model."

"Lulu is a bitch."

"She's my friend." Rikku defended a little surprised.

Paine looked back to Rikku trying to get her point across. "You're friend… is a bitch."

##

"Bye." She muttered as Paine left leaving Rikku to again wonder what the hell she had said to make Paine leave. It was Monday after all, didn't they spend Monday's together?

Maybe it wasn't her, maybe it was that talk with Auron that threw her off, but it had to be about her. What else would they have talked about!

_Now you are just being egotistical_

Paine had hardly said a word to her when Rikku asked why she thought Lulu was a bitch and when she decided to dismiss the matter and ask what Auron wanted. Paine said nothing which of course was a lie because it didn't take 15 minutes to talk about nothing.

Rikku thought it would be smart to point that out.

Apparently it wasn't.

Paine mumbled something about having to study and left. Rikku sighed out loud.

Did they just have a fight?

"Excuse me miss?"

She looked up to see a fellow student standing beside her table. He had smooth dark skin and a thin nose that implied he was born elsewhere in Spira, short snowy white hair sat floppily on his head and was clean shaven. She only assumed he was a student because he was wearing a back pack on his shoulders.

His smile was warm; Rikku wondered if she knew him and just didn't recognize him.

"Yes?"

"This is going to seem like an odd question,, but the girl that just got up from here… is her name Paine?" He seemed a bit embarrassed for asking.

Rikku nodded once. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"May I sit?"

"Sure." Rikku smiled at his manners.

The young man took off his bag and rested it on the chair where Lulu was sitting and then sat directly across from Rikku in Yuna's old seat.

He put out his hand. "I'm Baralai, but everyone just calls me Lai."

Rikku shook his hand. "I'm Rikku. So how do you know Paine?" Rikku was curious; he seemed to be the exact type that Paine tried to keep herself away from.

"We go back." He nodded. "We actually grew up together till I moved." He chuckled than ran a hand through his hair an action that reminded Rikku of Paine exactly. "Can't believe that was her, we haven't seen each other in years. How is she?"

He seemed genuinely concerned but at the same time happy to have found an old friend. Then she remembered how abruptly their conversation had just ended, it remedied Rikku of the first time they had coffee together.

"Moody."

Baralai chuckled. "Sounds about right."

"So she's always been like this?" Rikku laughed. "Damn."

He nodded. "I think that's just Dr. P for ya."

"Dr. P?" Rikku furrowed a brow.

"Oh, does she not go by that anymore?" He put a hand to his chin. "Hm."

"No I just, never heard anyone call her that before." Rikku chuckled lightly to herself. "It's kinda silly but we're new friends… I call her Pai-Day."

"Like the candy bar!"

"Exactly! She doesn't really get it though… I think I'll let it die, so where did Dr. P come from, I like it."

Baralai shrugged. "I think Gippal came up with it when we were little, try calling her it though, see what she says."

Rikku made a note to do it. "Is Gippal a common name?"

Baralai shrugged. "I only know one, well I only _knew_ one."

"So how come you guys never kept in touch?"

Baralai sighed. "Well… it's a bit of a story actually. I'd rather not get into it, I wouldn't want to say anything that she wouldn't want others to know. I hope you can understand, I don't really know you."

Rikku nodded finding it sweet. "Yeah no problem. So are you a student here or do you just like stalking pretty girls?"

Baralai chuckled. "Uh…both? I'm a engineering major, you?"

"Pre-law."

"Ouch…tough break, y'know I hope you don't take offense but you don't seem like one of those tightwads in the law department."

Rikku chuckled. "None taken, my father owns a law firm so naturally y'know."

"Ah I see, I can understand that. My father wants so badly for me to go into government like him." Baralai leaned forward and whispered. "I'd rather swim with fiends."

Rikku chuckled. "Though I don't think I would do that, politics are so…messy." She waved her hand about.

"I know." Lai nodded. "Do you know what Paine is majoring in?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and pouted. "I'm still trying to guess."

"She's one complicated lady…" He nodded to himself and looked off as if remembering a distant memory.

"What was she like as a little kid?" Rikku asked leaning forward in interest.

**AN: Shorter chapter this time, sowwwwy. But hey a quick update right? That should count for something!**

**KathleenDee **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"How exactly do you milk an almond?"

"What?"

Rikku motioned to the milk container in her hand. "Almond milk."

"Oh….I don't know actually." Yuna and Rikku stared at the carton for a second. "I know it's not _real_ milk."

"Well yeah cause almonds don't have nipples."

"What?" Yuna chuckled.

"I thought the rule of thumb was that if it had nipples… you could milk it."

Yuna shook her head slowly. "I don't think so…"

"Well why not?" Rikku asked putting the carton into the cart Yuna was pushing along.

It had become sort of a tradition for them to go grocery shopping together for each of their homes. Both of them only lived with their fathers, and they were never really around to really eat there for more than a couple meals. So Yuna bought her father's favorite coffee and some cool ranch Doritos and Rikku would buy her father's herbal tea and frosted mini wheat's.

"Because you can't just go around milking things with nipples."

"But you could." Rikku laughed.

"No Rikku…" Yuna sighed. "Has Paine given you an answer yet on if she wants to do the show? It's getting pretty close."

Rikku's smile fell. "Uh no… we haven't really talked…"

"Oh." Yuna noted the sadness in her voice. "Well…have you called her?" She wasn't really sure the nature of the relationship between her cousin and the other girl. It seemed Rikku liked her, which was okay with Yuna even though for some it wouldn't be.

Rikku sighed. "Nope."

"Oh." Yuna nodded. "Well maybe you should."

"Maybe."

It was obvious Rikku didn't want to talk about it. They turned down the canned food isle. "I wanted to get Kimahri some baked beans…" She said looking to change the subject.

"Can dogs eat that?"

Yuna shrugged. "He likes it; I'll just keep it as a treat or something."

"Hm."

"C'mon Clasko keep up man." Gippal rounded the corner in his black chefs pants and a white under shirt on. He couldn't believe his frickin' luck! There standing on isle three, dressed in yellow shorts and a white sweater, was his dream girl. He turned around to Clasko who was holding the majority of the things they came for.

"Here, go get the rest of the stuff and meet me at a register."

Gippal turned not waiting for a response and began walking toward Rikku and Yuna.

"Ah great." Rikku groaned when she noticed him approaching.

"What?..Oh." Yuna chuckled. She had found the whole bathroom incident hilarious when Rikku finally told her what happened.

"Ladies, if it isn't my luck." He grinned and tossed the single lemon he was holding in the air and caught it.

"Chef Trent." Yuna smiled.

"You can call me Gippal."

"Okay, Gippal." Yuna giggled and Rikku glared at her. What the hell was her problem? She was almost doing this on purpose.

"Cid's girl how it going?"

"My name is Rikku, and I'm fine."

"I haven't received a call from you."

"I flushed your card."

"That wasn't very nice." Gippal seemed unfazed. "Listen I was wondering with the summer approaching, I was going to close down LapPig for a night and head out to this spot on seventh and Harving, you guys know that club Taboo right? Well I'm renting out some space there, kinda kick off the summer, all my roommates will be there, the Lap Pig family, it'll be open bar, and a real fun time, you ladies are both more than welcome to come and bring a few people."

"Oh when is it?" Yuna asked.

"Not this weekend but next weekend Friday night." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his card again. "This time I'll give you both a copy." He grinned at Rikku. "Hope to see you there."

"That sounds like fun." Yuna commented once Gippal left.

"No way am I going."

"Ah c'mon, it will be right when classes end, we'll be able to drink and it's on seventh and Harving that's not too far from your place right? I wonder if Tidus is doing anything, I haven't really seen him in a party setting…"

"That guy is a creep."

"He's just a tad cocky." Yuna began pushing the cart along. "You should invite Paine," she added as an afterthought.

"I don't think I have to." Rikku mumbled once the realization hit. Her conversations with this Lai guy were all the proof she needed.

"Hm?"

##

Paine didn't do this.

She had been pacing in her room for a good five minutes. The half a joint she just shared with Nooj didn't help like she thought it would, if anything it had made her nerves worse.

"Fuck." She cursed to herself.

She was pacing over Rikku

Pacing!

Paine sat down on her twin size bed and took a breath. She picked up and phone, and then put it down again.

It was around 11pm on Thursday night and Paine had been busying herself all day by studying, grocery shopping, laundry, and a whole bunch of other domestic tasks. She even helped Wakka make a box cake!

She was a regular Betty fucking Crocker.

All because she was nervous about speaking to Rikku.

"Grow a pair Kerrigan." She said to herself and finally dialed Rikku's number. As far as situations went, she knew she shouldn't have left things the way she did. They always spent Monday's together and this Monday shouldn't have been an exception. Hell Paine was even looking forward to it. Auron had thrown her for a loop though. It seemed she had been underestimating the size of his balls.

It rang twice and then picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey."

Paine slapped her face. Could she sound any higher?

"Paine?"

"Yeah uh it's me."

"…Nice to hear from you."

"Yeah um, I've been really busy I'm…" she chuckled lightly. "I'm sorry…."

"Its fine, you're not obligated to talk to me y'know."

"I know but I want to, and Monday I just kinda left without really saying anything…"

"Are you ready to say something?"

Paine ran a nervous hand through her hair, "yeah, I should tell you some things."

"Yeah well me too, a lot has happened in the last four days."

"Really?" Paine sat back on her bed to lean her back on the wall. The hard part was over

"Did you know that almonds have nipples?"

Paine chuckled. "No I didn't."

##

It had been raining all morning making the day seem long to Paine. She wasn't exactly sure what time it was and she didn't feel like guessing; she had too much on her mind. Paine knew it couldn't be past five, but the darkened skies and chill winds begged to differ.

All around her students were rushing to get off campus, cries of freedom and plans for later days were being made.

"Is anyone sitting here?"

Paine looked up and frowned when she realized it wasn't who she was expecting.

"I'm meeting Rikku…" Paine explained pushing her hands into her pocket and grabbing at the lint there.

Lulu sat down anyway.

The student Union reminded Paine most of the mall, or even an airport, with all store fronts and random seating arrangements. Paine asked Rikku to meet her near the Coffee-bean; random little windows around campus that sold the basics. She knew by now the blonde had to be crashing from her usual noon time coffee or sugar fix and would need a boost. There was a plethora of two seater tables around the corner from the Coffee-bean service window. The large two story aquarium styled windows in the student union gave Paine a good view of the front pathway and the storm brewing outside.

Lulu ignored Paine's comment. Instead she reached toward one of the small coffee cups closest to her and then to the pile of random sugars, stirs, and creamers in front of her.

Paine didn't know how Rikku liked her coffee.

"You can't take a hint can you?" Paine asked, she was starting to get upset now. "What the fuck are you doing?" She asked when Lulu opened the lid and started adding sugar to the hot coffee.

"I've known Rikku for seven years." Her voice was calm and she didn't speak louder than she had to, this was just her way. Lulu picked up the creamer and expertly peeled off the plastic lid with her long purple nails. "You'd do well to remember that she only likes half the creamer in her coffee."

Paine sighed. "What do you want?"

"I want a lot of things Paine, I think we both do."

"You and I are nothing alike."

"Oh?" Lulu asked looking up at Paine for the first time since she started making Rikku's coffee. She capped the lid back onto it and put it where she found it. "What makes you so sure?"

Paine leaned forward. "Don't come over here and try to call us the same person, you don't even know me."

"But aren't we? We both have feelings for someone we shouldn't."

"What are you talking about?"

Lulu let up a low laugh. "Hm, well she..." She shook her head lightly as if chiding herself. "It isn't my place."

Paine shook her head. "Is there a reason you came over here? Or are you just trying to piss me off."

Lulu looked up at her, her stoic features turning a bit soft around the edges. "He isn't returning my calls." She admitted in her usual unaffected tone.

Paine laughed shortly. "Why would he?"

"You don't know him like I do. I still worry even though I shouldn't."

"Don't."

Lulu stood. She went to walk away but then paused. "I'll make you a deal."

Paine scuffed and looked back out the window.

"You help Yuna and I, and I will help you." Paine heard her say as she watched a particularly large rain drop slide slowly down the glass.

"I don't need your help."

"You will." She said cryptically before her clinking hair ornaments could be heard fading.

Seriously who did their hair like that every day? It wasn't practical and it bothered the hell out of Paine that she could pull it off with such ease.

Who did she think she was coming over here like that? Saying those things?

Paine furrowed a brow and took a sip from her black coffee. Lulu was just talking. She made her point for coming over clear.

Wakka.

Everything else was just talk.

"Hey am I late? Were you here long? What's that look for? Oh you got me coffee!"

That would be Rikku.

She seemed to be a little wet from the rain as she took off her red jacket with the black lining and back pack and placed them on the chair behind her. She looked very dressed down today Paine noticed. She was wearing a black turtle neck short sleeve sweater and a pair of khaki pants. Her usual multi colored bangles were still in place and her hair was a damp version of its usual braided free self.

"That's really nice of you, oh it's pouring outside, look…" She sat down and showed Paine the bottom of her pant leg on her right foot. "I almost drowned in the puddle!"

Paine smiled. She seemed frazzled today, that's what it was. She continued to watch as Rikku took a sip of the hot coffee and smiled. "Just right." She nodded. "How did you know?"

She thought about lying, saying it was a lucky guess. "I had a little help from my best friend."

"Leblanc was here?" Rikku looked around confused.

"No my other best friend."

Rikku made a face. "Um…oh Lulu!" Paine nodded. "Oh I don't know why you don't like her Pai, she's really a sweet person y'know…under all that hair." Rikku chuckled.

"Sweet? Lulu Moore is not sweet."

"I know she doesn't look all soft and cuddly but she means well, some people would say the same about you y'know, just give her a chance."

"She's a—"

"I know I know, a bitch. But she's my friend alright? Don't be a meanie."

Paine sighed. Rikku had just given her the official warning to lay off Lulu. "Yeah okay."

"Did she come to bother you about the show? Yunie's been asking me too…"

"I know, I never said id do it…"

Rikku took a sip from her coffee cup. "Aha but you never said that you wouldn't do it, that's where ya went wrong Dr.P."

Paine shook her head. "Yeah I guess so….wait what?"

"What?" Rikku asked looking innocent.

Paine narrowed her eyes playfully. Something had just seemed off to her. "Nothing nothing…um so, how was class?" Paine began tapping her fingers lightly on the table.

"It was alright, nothing to important… just reviews for….Pai stop it."

"Stop what?"

"You're making me nervous when you do that."

"Do what?"

Rikku began tapping her fingers on the table; her actions were a bit more dramatized to get point across. "Oh." Paine pulled her hand off the table and rested it on her lap.

Rikku sent her a curious look to which Paine sat up from leaning back in her chair and rested her forearms on the table surrounding her coffee cup. "So you were right about one thing."

"What's that?"

"Auron does in fact hate me." Paine chuckled a little to herself. "Probably more now."

Rikku sighed. "What happed?" She asked a little quieter than normal. She too scooted her chair further in so she could hear Paine better.

Paine averted her eyes. "He, he well…" She bit the inside of her mouth, how could she say this without giving too much of her side of the conversation away? "He doesn't want us hanging around each other anymore, because I know that you guys…"

"We don't…not…." Rikku shook her head trying to find words. "I haven't been to see him in a while… he keeps texting me but I just y'know ignore." She wrapped her right hand around her coffee cup, she needed to hold onto something. Sure she had told Paine, but talking about it with anyone was still hard. Rikku looked down as she spoke. "I was kind of hoping that it would just go away y'know?"

These moments were rare for Paine, the moments in which she wished she had the ability to make things okay with just words, _her_ words. She would watch cop shows and marvel to herself at how someone, _some stranger_ could come out and talk someone down from a building, or talk someone out of ending many other lives including their own, with just words. Was it the human connection that did it? The ability to inevitably connect with someone else just because they were capable of feeling the way you were? To sympathize. Even if they had never known true sadness before they could talk you through it like they had. They could turn things around.

Paine didn't know how to do that, and she never noticed until now.

"I know…" Was all she could say, and she didn't think it was enough, she _knew_ it wasn't enough. "But.. you stopped right you haven't…that's good."

"No." Rikku said more firmly. "And he can't tell me who to hang out with!"

"Yeah well he made it very clear that I should hang out with my own kind." Paine rolled her eyes. "This guy is an ass."

"But you listened to him."

Paine sighed. "I did. I needed time to think.."

"About if being my friend was worth it, worth whatever he said." Rikku read her face. Paine only nodded, a little ashamed at how she handled it. "But now you are here."

"I am."

Rikku let up a small smile.

Paine busied herself with drinking coffee. Rikku chuckled a little and looked down to her coffee cup.

Paine rested her cup down and rubbed the back of her neck gently. "No on pushes me around but… you don't think he's really capable of things?"

"What kinds of things?"

"Well… I wouldn't want you to get in trouble for some stupid things I may have said…"

Rikku studied Paine for a second. The first thing she had ever learned about the girl was that she was a hot head; quick to say whatever came to mind with not a care for the consequences or others feelings, it was her defense mechanism.

The second was that she didn't like Iced caramel frappecinos, especially as a permanent accessory.

Rikku sighed and tried to make light of the conversation. "Were you trying to be all tough again?"

Paine nodded twice. "Yeah."

Rikku couldn't help but chuckle at her honesty. "What I tell you about that?"

"I don't like him, he took advantage of a situation, and now he thinks he can scare me quiet." Paine shook her head no. "I have to take his course over online now."

"He's really going to fail you?"

"If he walks by and see's us having coffee." Paine motioned to the larger windows. "Plus he isn't going to take my term paper."

"I'll talk to him –"

"No," Paine said firmly.

"But this has nothing to do with you! I don't see why he feels the need to pull you in it."

"He's just using me to get to you, you said you were ignoring him right?" Rikku nodded. "Well there, he would have found a way to talk to me anyway, I just gave him an opportunity to by talking in class."

Rikku pouted. "It's not fair."

"Life isn't fair Princess."Rikku rolled her eyes but went back to her pouting face. Paine frowned a little. "Hey.." Rikku looked up. "It's gonna be okay."

That's all Rikku needed to hear today. For this thing she was fighting, she could only handle one day at a time.

##

"Paine…."

"Don't give me that look I'll be fine."

"But I'm going to feel bad." Rikku whined.

"You need to learn how to control your emotions." Paine chuckled. An hour had passed and it was still raining. They had moved from their table in the student union to the grand foyer where the carpet was stained with rain water tracking in from students shoes.

It was still raining hard outside.

Rikku gave Paine a look that made her laugh a little more. "It's just water Rikku..if anything I should be worried about you driving, you can barely see over the steering wheel." Paine put her hand right above Rikku's head.

She slapped it away playfully. "I'm not even that short!"

"Too short to walk in the fashion show." Paine teased.

"Yeah well you couldn't even do it, so that means nothing to me."

"I can do it, but I just don't want to."

"You can't do it. What's up Pai afraid someone from your _crew_ might see you?"

"My crew….. yeah you need to stop watching so much tv."

"Oh I forgot, you're a lone wolf." Rikku began to giggle.

"And you are an idiot." Paine chuckled. She glanced outside again trying to calculate her route.

"Let me take you home." Rikku asked again, her voice softer.

"What not even going to buy me a drink first? Wow."

Rikku nudged her arm. "I'm serious Pai."

Paine thought on it for a second, something suddenly coming to mind. "I think I'm going to stay."

"Stay! Here, on a Friday?"

"I didn't get a work out in this week." The more she thought about it, the more her body itched to hit something. Was that strange? Paine didn't think so.

"Are you sure?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

Rikku bit her bottom lip then shrugged. "Okay. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah as in….the day after today?"

Paine shrugged. "Nothing much, why you wanna play blitz this weekend?"

Rikku chuckled. "Come over to my place."

Paine weighed her options. She liked spending time with Rikku, she had come to terms with this. It was just that at her house it was just them two, she couldn't risk feeling those feelings again. Paine tried to think of a way out of it.

Seeing this Rikku grabbed hold of Paine's forearm leaned a little closer and began jumping up and down. "Pleeeaseee, c'mon I don't even know why I'm begging you know you want to."

Paine chuckled. "Alright alright. Gee come down."

"Good!" Rikku hoped away from Paine a foot or two. "You can help me rearrange my bedroom, I was thinking about moving my desk area—"

"And here I thought it was because we were friends."

"That's what friends do, I know you wouldn't know."

"Ouch."

"It's okay I'm willing to teach you." Rikku chuckled.

##

Rikku wasn't kidding when she said she wanted to rearrange her room. Paine saw that now.

"You drew this all last night?" Paine furrowed a brow as she sat at the formal dining room chair the next morning. A bowl of finished frosted mini wheat's practically force fed to her a few minutes ago sat empty at her side. Paine was wearing her skinny jeans, socks, and a plain black shirt, a pair of sunglasses sat atop of her styled hair.

"Yeah while we were on the phone, is it not clear?" Rikku asked from in the kitchen.

Paine shook her head at the detail of the large blueprint like sketches. "No it's clear."

"Good." Rikku clapped excitedly as she entered the dining room barefoot and in white shorts and an orange tank top.

Paine glanced at her then back to the drawings. "Did you really do the measurements? Rikku we aren't building a freaking house here."

Rikku came over and stood behind Paine's chair infecting her entire area with her floral scented perfume. It made it hard for Paine to focus on the things Rikku was pointing to.

She smelt like spring

"… and plus I just got a little carried away." Rikku shrugged.

Paine chuckled picturing Rikku, phone to her ear, getting on her hands and knees to measure her room.

In the kitchen the kettle began to whistle telling Rikku her tea was ready. The blonde disappeared.

"These are really impressive." Paine called.

"Thanks."

"Have you ever thought about architecture?"

"No, why?" Rikku said coming back into the dining room hugging a large soup cup full of green tea with her two hands.

"Uh cause you are an amazing artist…and because you hate law."

Rikku smiled at the compliments. "I don't hate law."

"But wouldn't you rather be doing something like this with your time instead of studying old case files?"

Rikku tilted her head cutely. "Well duh but, there are hobbies and then there are careers right? That's what Pops always says."

"You can't believe that."

Rikku didn't say anything; she just disappeared into the kitchen again only to return a few minutes later with a new campaign. "If we start now we can be done in time for _Strange Addictions_."

##

"No…no to the left…no Paine my left…too far."

Paine sighed in frustration as she set the heavy for size trunk down. "Rikku…"

Rikku pouted looking at the large blueprint she had created. "Y'know it says I would put it over here… but I just…I just don't like the way that looks now." Rikku placed a finger to her bottom lip and pressed down in thought. "The lighting… I forgot all about the lighting.." She murmured to herself.

"Fucking-A" Paine muttered.

She had to applaud herself on how patient Rikku was making her, two months ago she would have lost it and given up when Rikku claimed that she changed her mind about something particularly heavy.

##

"It doesn't make sense."

"It makes complete sense!"

"No it does not!" Paine nudged the bed with her knee. "Who gives a fuck if it's two more inches to the right?"

"The book!" Rikku waved the fung shui booklet in her right hand about. They were on either side of Rikku's bed trying to decide which way they wanted to move it.

"That book is full of crap! It's been here for how long and you haven't gotten run over by a bus or something yet?"

"It's bad luck!"

"Rikku it's fake!"

"Prove it!"

"Prove that it's real."

"It's in a book Paine…duh." Paine gritted her teeth. This was going nowhere and she knew it. Seeing that Paine was tiring Rikku put up her best pouty face. "C'mon." She pleaded quietly, fluttering her lashes for effect.

Paine groaned. "Fine."

"Yay!" Rikku grinned as she readied to move the bed two inches to the left so it wasn't directly in front of the door.

##

Paine made a face. "She eats…dirt?"

It was now a little after noon and Paine found herself deeply engrossed by the woman on the screen.

"Just a little sprinkle here and there." Rikku joked as she reached her hand into the bag of tortilla chips and pulled out one that she deemed perfect for dipping, so like a pro Rikku leaned forward to the coffee table and dipped her chip in the spicy salsa and quickly pulled it back to her mouth without a spot of tomato going anywhere.

"Mud pie."

Rikku giggled. "Mmm."

They were sitting close on the couch with only the bag of chips as a separator. Their shoulders were just barely touching.

"It's probably a form of Pica…" Paine said as she reached her hand in the bag for another chip.

"Nutrition!"

She laughed. "No, but I thought about it."

"Pai….I guess ill figure it out when you graduate." Rikku shook her head.

"I'm surprised you haven't guessed it by now. I guessed yours like the second day I saw you."

"Uh yeah because I had a textbook with me."

"Ah, see all mine are in my room."

"Then that's where I need to look."

Paine chuckled. "You don't want to hang out at my place."

"Why not?"

"Well for one three guys live there…well and Elma, but she's always in her room unless we have family time."

Rikku laughed. "Still not seeing the big picture. You have your own room right, and what's so wrong with family time? I wish we had more of that around here."

Paine shrugged. "My room is tiny, and my roommates can be bit much." she shook her head thinking of one morning that week. She swore she saw Nooj naked as much as he saw himself naked. It was disturbingly normal by now.

"So about Gippal…" Rikku didn't know where to begin.

"What about him?" Paine asked pulling her attention away from the woman packing her dirt filled tupperware containers for work.

"I think I know him…"

Paine made a face. "How he doesn't go to NLU, I don't even think he can spell NLU."

"Well he works at Lap Pig, he's a chef isn't he?"

"Yeah…."

"That's where Pops took Yunie and I, he gave us a tasting menu which was cool, the food was great and he seemed nice in the beginning but then I had to pee and he was being real creepy, practically cornered me!"

"Wait… You're _her_…." Paine sat back on the couch. She had to let this sink in.

"Her who?"

"He's like in love with you." Paine pointed out.

"So it is your Gippal? Ew he talks about me?"

"He's not _that_ bad…" Paine winced.

"Then you date him." Rikku chuckled a little. "What's up with that face?"

"He talks about you a lot. I didn't know it was you or else I would have…" Paine shook her head.

"I kept hearing you mention him here and there…and then that Baralai guy showed up and he—"

Paine sat up quickly. "What?"

"What what?"

"Baralai? As in Baralai Montgomery?"

"I…I guess so..snowy hair, tan, he's a sweetie…"

"What the fuck is he doing talking to you?"

"People talk to me!"

Paine sighed. "No I meant like… where did he see you?" She wasn't sure how she felt about this. Rikku was defiantly dropping bombs on her today.

"Well remember when you went all _that time of the month _on me and just left Monday?"

Paine rolled her eyes but nodded.

"He just came up to me right after and asked if your name was Paine, to which I said yes, because it is….isn't it?"

Paine ran a hand through her hair. "What in the….so what did he want?"

Rikku shrugged. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see the family preparing for a dirt intervention. "He just asked how you were Paine, he seemed really sweet."

"Yeah of course he does." Paine sat back into the couch again, this time making no attempt at going back to watching tv.

Rikku frowned. Maybe she shouldn't have been so friendly to this Lai guy. "Wait right here." She jumped off the couch and ran upstairs only to return with her school bag. Paine watched from her slouched position on the sofa as Rikku began pulling things out in search of something. Paine couldn't help but chuckle as a number of multi colored Jambi Juice straws were gifted to her by a distracted Rikku. "He gave me his number…"

"Why….?"

Rikku looked up at Paine. "To give to you silly."

"Oh." She sat up a little and leaned over the couch to pick up a wayward straw.

"Here it is." Rikku pulled out the folded napkin and gave it to Paine. She watched as Paine stared at it for a second or two before balling it up. "Paine."

"He shouldn't have just approached you like that right when I left."

"He seemed really nervous, give the guy a chance."

"You don't know him Rikku." She said dismissively. It was starting to irk Rikku.

"Well I think I have a pretty good impression of people. Unlike you…"Paine looked up at her words. She knew she was referring to the first time they met. "Or do you really still think I'm some slut."

"Rikku."

"You haven't seen him in years how do you know what he's like now? You can't hold grudges for things when you were kids, whatever they were. That's not practical and it's not fair. I'm sure you've done things in your past that you would like people to forget and see you as you are now." Rikku huffed and began throwing her things back into her bag, even the bendy straws.

Then she got up and left.

Paine sat there stunned for a second. She had never really seen that side of Rikku. Though it pissed her off a little how she had just called her out, she knew the blonde was right. She had no ligament reason to dislike Baralai, he had been nothing but a friend to her in the past. Something in her was hesitating though. She didn't want to need a reason to not like someone. If she were still going to therapy Martha would say that she felt resentment towards Baralai because she felt he abandoned her.

Maybe she should start going again.

Surly it would help clear up some of this fog Rikku brought with her.

No, not fog.

Rikku was like sunlight, bright bright sunlight; warm on your skin, prompting growth, like the sunny days of summer each day was something new and exciting but still blinding. Paine couldn't see at all, it was something she never had to deal with: having a female friend like this, it just seemed different. _Too different._

Paine un-balled the napkin and stared down at the number. She wondered what he looked like now.

Rikku smiled at the thoughtful look on Paine's face, she hadn't even noticed her slip back into the living room. She didn't like people assuming things about others, maybe because deep down she feared that people did it when they looked at her.

The shifted weight of the couch caused Paine to look up. They stared at each other for a second. Rikku reached out and rubbed Paine's mid back lightly, if it weren't for the fact that they were looking at each other then Paine would have closed her eyes.

"Just see what he wants."

Paine nodded.

##

"Heey Dr. P! Check this out, some lady is on here eating dirt!" Gippal chuckled to himself when he heard the front door opening.

Paine nodded even though Gippal was still facing the tv. It was around 9 at night, she left Rikku's about 7 and then just walked around for a while. She needed to wrap her head around several things and coming straight home or being around Rikku wouldn't help. Paine went into the kitchen to get a beer.

"Where ya been all day anyway, aren't you gonna help me with this party planning bullshit." Giipal was sitting on the couch with his feet up clad in a dark blue sleeveless shirt and some cargo shorts.

Paine slipped out of her jacket and planted herself on the sofa beside him. "Aren't you supposed to be at work? Here." She handed him her beer bottle and Gippal fished his pockets for his key chain where his bottle opener was.

"I took the day off thinkin you would be around to check this place out with me."

Paine grabbed the bottle back before he was able to take a sip. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I did! Check your phone, went straight to voicemail every time, so again where were you today?"

"I was out."

Gippal eyed her for a second then shrugged going back to the tv. Probably some girl thing he wouldn't understand, and Paine wouldn't explain.

Paine sat there in thought, deep deep thought. The kind where all your senses get dulled and all you can really do is hear yourself think. She had three people on her mind; Rikku, Baralai, and Gippal, and in some twisted way they were all related.

Paine took a sip of her cold beer. She was glad she went grocery shopping on Thursday; she didn't even feel like moving from her spot on the couch.

She felt protective over Rikku. If this week had proved anything it had proved that. She didn't know why though, she just didn't like the idea of Auron touching her, or Gippal perving on her, or even Baralai giving her his number. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, it was irrational.

A lot of things with Rikku felt irrational or maybe irrational weren't the right word. Was it so irrational to enjoy being around someone so much? To smile like an idiot whenever they texted you, or spend extra time making sure look presentable when you knew you were going to see them? Paine rolled her eyes when she remembered how long it took her to pick a damn shirt and jeans this mooring.

And she felt sad when they parted that evening. Paine had actually identified that she was sad about it. This was huge!

So maybe Paine was a little irrational about Rikku.

No one else put her in her place and lived to tell the tale. Paine had started fights before from people just looking at her the wrong way. Then this afternoon she had done so and all Paine could do was nod. It did piss her off, but it surprised her more than anything.

Rikku had been right.

Could she really hold such an insignificant grudge over someone she had shared so much with? It had only turned to the Paine and Gippal show _because_ of Baralai's absence. They were so young and lost that now as Paine sat finishing her second beer it all seemed stupid. Baralai hadn't changed. He may drink 50 year old cognac now or spend weekends on his father's boat, but she knew that he had to be the same boy he was before.

Beside her Gippal began chuckling to himself. She glanced at him, the tv gleam brightening up his amused features.

She loved that fool, but he could be so single minded sometimes.

Paine wondered which would be more of a surprise to him, telling him she actually knew and hung out with his "dream girl" or that somehow Baralai had found her and was reaching out, or worse, that she was reaching back because of his dream girl, who she was irrational about.

Paine sighed to herself.

_Could this get any more complicated?_

##

"Oh… it looks different in here." Yuna noticed looking around Rikku's room.

Rikku followed in after her cousin holding a few bags of goodies. "Yeah Paine came over today and helped me."

Yuna watched her cousin empty the contents of the plastic bags onto her bed. Rikku began sorting through the junk food by sweet and salty. They were about to go out to see a movie together just for the hell of it and needed to appropriately hide their snacks on their persons. "Are you two like…"

Rikku stopped what she was doing and looked up at Yuna's curious face. "We're just friends Yunie."

"Oh…okay." Yuna nodded. "Well I still think you like her."

Rikku shrugged. "I do."

She did.

"I just y'know… I like being her friend too."

Yuna wished sometimes that she thought like Rikku. Even though the blonde seemed to get confused over things some times, abstract thoughts or reasoning was a cake walk. She had a very strong sense of self, meaning she knew how she felt about things, bad or good.

"What does that mean though?" Yuna chuckled, just for the sake of hearing her answer.

Rikku shrugged. "I don't know… okay like today she upset me… and she always runs from things… and well she curses a fucking lot." Yuna laughed and Rikku smiled but then got a thoughtful look on her face. " and she's a girl… but… I dunno Yunie I…feel….happy when I make her smile, cause like she never does and I just….I don't wanna scare away the only person I can talk to who doesn't just… I don't feel like a failure when I'm around her…" Rikku admitted aloud surprising both her and Yuna.

The room was quiet.

Rikku sighed and looked down to the chocolate covered pretzels in her hand, were these salty or sweet?

"You've had something on your mind for a while now." Yuna stated knowing her cousins facial expressions quite well by this point. She felt terrible. She sat down on Rikku's bed.

Rikku nodded. "I—"

Just then downstairs the front door could be heard opening. Soon loud male voices filled the downstairs.

"Rikku! Girl you here!" Rikku knew right away it was her father and uncle Braska.

"C'mon." She looked to a conflicted Yuna. "Let's go say hi."

**AN: Just thought I would thank everyone who has been reading up until this point, and a special thank you to all my reviewers, you know who you are. I honestly wouldn't have gotten this far without your kind words !**

**Now that all the mushy stuff is out of the way, what do you guys think? **

**KathleenDee**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight **

Rikku groaned lightly and rolled over. She could feel her body humming with activity as it worked to wake her up fully. The little smile that had been in place while she was dreaming fell.

She had been dreaming.

Rikku let out a puff of annoyance. She hated when that happened. When you woke up actually believing that very very nice dream you were having was in fact, just a dream.

She lay they for a few moments not even bothering to open her eyes. Why? Why should she? If she just stayed in bed all day that wouldn't be so bad would it? It was Sunday anyway; no one did things on Sundays.

With another small sigh Rikku finally opened her eyes and began to move around under the covers. She rolled on to her side and reached a hand out to her nightstand. The yellow digital numbers on her animal inspired alarm clock told her it wasn't too early to do what she was about to do.

_**Morning**_

Paine rolled over under her covers when she heard her cell phone on her nightstand. Pulling herself up a little and running a hand through her messy gray hair, Paine squinted.

_**Rikku it's 9 in the morning… On a Sunday…**_

Rikku chuckled, so maybe on the weekends Paine wasn't an early riser if she didn't have anywhere to be.

_**I had a dream about you eating dirt :)**_

_**Stranger things have happened, morning.**_

_**You were trying to get me to eat some with you.**_

_**Did I win?**_

_**I woke up right when you handed me some… What does it mean?**_

_**That you're weird.**_

_**You were the one eating dirt!**_

_**In YOUR dream Princess.**_

_**No, In your dreams Pai-Pai**_

_**Pai-Pai…**_

_**It's cute**_

_**It's lame**_

_**You're lame. I need a nickname for yooouu**_

_**Why?**_

_**Because you get one.**_

_**Just like that?**_

_**Uhuh, feel special.**_

_**Something tells me I shouldn't, something tells me everyone get's nicknames.**_

_**Something needs to shut up.**_

_**Lol**_

_**Oh… Do I get a smile? Yay!**_

Paine had to actually rub her cheeks a little to stop herself from smiling. Before she could respond she got another text.

_**I did! You are so smiling right now and I'm missing it :/**_

_**Am I getting the pouty face?**_

_**Yes, yes you are.**_

Rikku got out of bed wearing the biggest grin. She hopped out of the shower and paused before glancing at herself in the mirror. She quickly looked away but smiled to herself and danced her way into some shorts and a tank top. The music in her head become a little louder and Rikku began to hum to herself as she trotted down the stairs and into the dining room where she could hear her father speaking.

Her smile fell when she noticed who was leaning against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in his hands.

"Ah Rikku!" Cid put his herbal tea down and walked over to his daughter not even noticing the mortified look on her face. Cid rested both his hands on her small shoulders and placed a fatherly kiss on her forehead.

"Good morning." Auron smiled from where he stood.

"What's he doing here?" She managed after her father moved away.

"Rikku don't be rude."

##

Rikku quietly ate as the two men at the table spoke. She didn't know how she was actually eating when all she wanted to do was throw up.

Auron was her father's friend.

How had she lost sight of that?

Now sitting across from them in the breakfast nook she felt something new envelope her.

Doubt

Who would he believe? A daughter that he hardly knew anymore, or one of his best friends. Auron knew him longer than she was even alive!

Fuck.

Rikku took a shaky breath and tried to steady it by stuffing as much food into her mouth as possible

She had to get out here.

Like, now.

"Whoa slow down girl." Cid chuckled. "Look at us Auron; talking about work work work, Rikku Milan, what did you do yesterday?"

Rikku coughed a little.

She was pretty sure she was chocking on her own vomit.

Auron reached a hand over and patted her back lightly causing Rikku to jump three feet in the air and then glare at him.

"Are you alright?" Auron asked.

Rikku swallowed. "Don't." She said quietly.

Cid scratched the back of his bald head. "Rikku."

"Uh yesterday Pa— Yunie and I hung out." Rikku glanced at Auron, her plate of food, and then her father. "We watched _Strange Addictions_. I need to uh, be excused." She got up suddenly and turned from the table feeling dizzy.

"I don't understand why she watches those things." She could hear her father speak as she climbed the stairs.

Rikku made it into her room and ran for the bathroom. Her palms were sweating and her face felt heated. She dropped her knees to cold tile not even caring about bruising.

She needed to get this out.

##

"Uncle Cid said you were ill." Yuna said; slowly pulling herself through a small opening in Rikku's room. She let out a small chuckle. "But it seems you are just fine."

Rikku laid on her stomach sketching lightly in one of her sketch pads. She looked up at Yuna and closed it. "I'm fine Yunie… Pop's was just being Pops. He tried to feed me those free range chocobo eggs and well—"

Yuna stepped fully into the room making sure to close the door behind her. She let Rikku mumbled on for a second more. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Sir Auron would it?" She had found it strange that he was here and Rikku wasn't downstairs with them.

Rikku picked up her head quickly and tried to read Yuna's face. "No… Yes… No."

"No yes no?"

Rikku nodded.

"Okay…" Yuna nodded slowly. "You know you can tell me if something is wrong right? I mean last night you seemed to be beginning to tell me something and—"

"I was going to but… I changed my mind last second." Rikku looked down at her small hands. She patted the bed beside her and Yuna came over to sit. She was wearing a white skirt today with a purple blouse that tickled Rikku's shoulder every time Yuna moved. "I just don't want you to feel like I kept things from you or anything… I don't mean too. I'm sorry Yunie I just can't." Rikku said quietly not making eye contact. "I will, I promise, but I'm just scared."

"I understand." Yuna slung an arm around her cousin and pulled her into for a much needed hug. Whatever it was, it obviously had the smaller girl shaken. "I will always be here, I'm your cousin first but I'm also your best friend."

Rikku sighed into Yuna's embrace, her body relaxing a little more at the confirmation. "I know."

"Should I be worried?" Yuna asked trying to get some kind of information from the girl.

Rikku shook her head no. "Not anymore."

##

Yuna stole a look at Rikku. "Look at you." She teased.

Rikku looked up from her cell phone. "What?"

A few hours had passed since Yuna first arrived and Yuna was able to push aside whatever Rikku was hiding for her sake. She knew how Rikku operated and knew if she kept on pushing it would only push the blonde away, which is what she had done without even knowing it. Last night her words about Paine made Yuna happy but sad at the same time.

Did she really feel that she couldn't come to her about things?

Had she been blind to something very serious?

Yuna let up a little smile. "Tell her to come over so we can start preparing for her runway debut."

"What if I was texting Brother."

"No one grins like that when they text their brother… Tell her."

Rikku chuckled. "She doesn't want to do it through, Yunie."

"You can make her."

Rikku made a face. "Have you met Paine? I don't think I could really make her do anything."

Yuna motioned to her room. "You got her to do this ridiculous renovation."

Rikku pouted. "It's not ridiculous."

Yuna ended up laughing. "Rikku your room looks pretty much the same except for some furniture and you said it took all day? I may not know Paine well, but I know that it probably drove her crazy. She did it for you." Now that Yuna thought about it was rather sweet.

Rikku looked around the room remembering the previous day. "Well she made sure that I knew it was ridiculous believe me." She thought for a second. "She was here yesterday though…"

"So?" Yuna shrugged. "Let's go to mine then." Yuna watched Rikku weigh her options. "She'll do it if you ask." Yuna nodded.

"You call her." Rikku handed Yuna her phone.

"Did you not just hear what I said?" Yuna laughed giving it back.

"Yunie Gippal is her roommate."

Yuna was quiet for a second. "Small world."

"He talks about me…" Rikku made a face.

"I don't see how this is preventing you from calling." Yuna took Rikku's phone out of her hands. "Fine I'll do it." She found Paine's number in the recent text history but paused when she noticed something.

_**Ignoring this isn't going to help you. **_

Yuna glanced at Rikku who had jumped up from the bed and was currently going through her closet looking for something to wear. She glanced back to the text that was sent sometime last week, she wasn't even aware the two were close enough to text. Sure she had Sir Auron's number in case of emergencies but they never once texted. Yuna furrowed a brow, her worry growing.

"Did she pick up?" Rikku called from in the closet.

"Um… Hold on." Yuna closed out of the text history and found Paine's number and put the phone to her ear.

##

"Kimhari off!" Yuna called

Paine wrestled with the heavy paws that had basically flattened her as soon as she stepped foot into the home. Kimhari placed slobbery kisses all over Paine's face as Yuna tried pulling him by his collar.

Rikku couldn't help but laugh at the whole scene. Kimahri was a Husky mix and was huge. There was a picture somewhere of Rikku riding him when she was younger.

He had his large paws on Paine's leather jacket clad shoulders and was happily licking her face as she squirmed to get out from under him. Like most dogs his size he was bought by Braska when he was just a little pup and Yuna was a little girl. He was meant to guard Yuna and protect her when he was away on business. Kimahri didn't like strangers, he was trained not to, but here he was showering Paine in puppy like kisses.

"I don't know what has come over him." Yuna apologized as she dragged him away. Kimahri let out a happy bark as his large tail wacked against Yuna's leg. "C'mon you." She chided.

Paine seemed a little out of breath as she sat up and tried to wipe the slobber off of her face. Rikku chuckled.

"I would offer to help you up, but I don't wanna get puppy slobber all over me."

"_That_, was not a puppy." Paine looked up at her and nodded before picking herself up and then continuing to wipe her face with the backs of her hands. "Right right." She nodded before quickly reaching over to Rikku and rubbing her hands all over her face.

"Ew!" Rikku squealed. "Paine!"

Paine laughed as she moved after a running Rikku.

"Yunie!" Rikku whaled. "Help!"

Yuna ran out of the den where she put Kimahri and took a sigh of relief when she saw Paine rubbing the slobber form her jacket onto Rikku. "Rikku I thought this was serious, you shouldn't scream like that."

"I haven't been updating my cootie shot!" The blonde barely got out between fits of laughter from both her and Paine.

"Are you saying my dog has cooties?" Yuna put her hand to her hips. "Dogs mouths are 40 percent cleaner than human mouths."

"Yeah Princess." Paine chuckled finally done tormenting the shorter woman. Rikku visibly shook as she tried to wipe her face.

"I'll go get you a towel Paine, I'm sorry again."

"Me too!" Rikku called as Yuna disappeared up the spiral styled staircase.

Paine took off her jacket and tossed it to Rikku who dodged it causing the clothing to fall to the shale styled flooring with a soft thud. "You are so mean to me!"

Paine laughed. "It's too easy."

Rikku rolled her eyes but smiled. "You seem to be in a good mood today." She went over to where Paine's jacket lay and picked it up.

Paine shrugged. She supposed she was, though there was no real rhyme or reason. "I guess so."

Rikku folded the jacket by the lapels and handed it back to Paine. "Well we'll see how long that lasts, Yunie seems all sweet and innocent but when it comes down to work, watch out."

Paine shook her head. "I think I will manage."

"Why did you decide to do this all of a sudden?"Rikku had to ask. She had been thinking about what Yuna said earlier. Paine shrugged and Rikku gave her the "that's not a good enough reason" look.

"Yuna was saying that one of the charities they were supporting went towards intercity schools. My landlords daughter is little, so I thought if I could help make her future a little brighter than mine was, then that wouldn't be so bad." Paine shrugged again.

"Aw." Rikku smiled. "Well that's just really sweet of you."

"Shut up." Paine chuckled. "Let's just get this over with."

Three hours later

"Paine…"

"Yuna it seriously leaves nothing to the imagination..."

"You're exaggerating, I designed it. I know what it looks like, now just come out for us to see."

Rikku sat with her legs out and her back against Yuna's headboard, while Yuna herself sat upright at the edge of her bed.

Since the fashion show was actually this week, Yuna had to rush through all the basics with Paine and then get to fitting. If she were to make adjustments she would need to know now. The first couple designs were some of her classmates but this next one was hers. The moment she saw Paine she knew she would be the only person to pull this off.

Paine sighed heavily and Rikku only giggled, her laughter stopped however when Paine stepped into view from behind Yuna's tall oriental separators. Rikku immediately sat up, her eyes going a little wide.

Yuna hopped off the bed and immediately started adjusting things and taking measurements, pulling Paine this way and that.

Paine was trying to avoid Rikku's eyes, but it was so damn hard when you could just feel the person staring at you.

Rikku was pretty sure she forgot how to breathe. "Yunie what the hell is this? Pai you look like a dominatrix in that thing." She said for the sake of saying something. It was true though, Paine looked like all she needed was a whip or something. Not that Rikku was too into that kind of stuff, but the way Paine was looking right now made her think she could get into it if Paine was the one in charge.

"I call it the _warrior_." Yuna explained. "…and she does not look like a Dom this is my thesis piece. Of course the heels will have to be in your size, and the gloves…"

"I'm wearing your final?" Paine asked in a single breath, she was going to have to get used to these strappy things running along her ribcage.

"You are actually, so no tripping, ripping, or slipping."

Paine nodded. "Nice." She chanced a look over at Rikku who was making no move to look away. "Yes?" She asked feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Nothing." Rikku squeaked looking down to her cell phone. "I think it looks nice." She chanced.

"You just said I look like a Dom."

"A nice one?" Rikku offered not really knowing what to say. She hopped of the bed. "I'm going to go… Find something to eat… Or something." Then just like that Rikku ran off.

Paine furrowed a bow at her behavior. Yuna chuckled lightly once Rikku could be heard going down the stairs. "So…"

"Oh boy."

She laughed again. "Oh boy? What did you think I was going to say Paine?" Yuna asked adjusting one of the red straps running up her body. "Is this too tight?"

"Am I supposed to be able to breathe?"

"No."

"It's perfect then."

Yuna nodded and went back to her work. "Tidus owes me a date, well and ten dollars."

"Why?"

"Because he bet me that you wouldn't do this."

"Psh." Paine rolled her eyes.

"Rikku didn't think you would either."

"Lulu seemed to think I would."

"You spoke to Lulu… sorry." Yuna apologized after feeling Paine flinch when she adjusted something.

"Yeah, what's her deal?"

Yuna sighed. "Question of the semester, ever since her and Wak—" Yuna stopped herself.

"It's okay he's my roommate." Paine nodded. She knew the situation, Wakka's side at least.

"Is everyone your roommate?" Yuna chuckled.

Paine shrugged. "Seems so. He's been a mess, now getting himself together and she just comes back into the story like nothing changed, it doesn't seem fair."

"They really do love each other." Yuna nodded feeling a little bad for her friends.

"Yeah well, still."

"Lulu has been… struggling with things. I don't think it is really fair to—"

"What about Wakka?" Paine cut her off. "He's the main one getting tugged along like some rag doll, all because she can't make up her mind."

Yuna sighed knowing it to be the truth. "I can see now why you two have issues."

"She's a b—" Paine sighed. "She's annoying."

"It's black and it's white for Lulu, that's just how she was raised." Yuna rationalized. "However, I do think she is changing. She is a good person though Paine, she's see's a lot more than most do."

Paine nodded. "I guess."

"So… about Tidus."

Paine chuckled. "He likes you, _a lot_."

"I just never know sometimes, he seems to try and show off to me and well—"

"Trust me he likes you, he's not half bad all of the time." Paine admitted for the first time out loud.

"So you must know about Gippal's party, should I invite him?" Paine shrugged and Yuna tapped her shoulder. "No more shrugging I'm working on this." She motioned to the black shawl like wrap. "Wouldn't want it falling and your moogles to pop out."

"My moogles?" Paine raised a brow and couldn't help but chuckle. She and Yuna continued talking as the brunette worked. It surprised Paine at how well they got along. Yuna seemed just like the kind to stick her nose in the air as she walked passed. Paine supposed Rikku had been right, you really couldn't judge people you didn't know. She was seeing more and more that maybe she was angry at the wrong people, maybe Gippal had been wrong. Maybe they all were.

"Speaking of Rikku."

"Were we?" Paine questioned.

"You just seemed to come out of nowhere." Yuna chuckled. "How did you two meet?"

"Oh…" Paine paused. "We uh… We have a mutual class."

"Sir Auron?" Yuna chuckled. "I mean Professor Guarrd right?"

"Right."

"How is his class? I thought about taking it?"

"It's okay…" Yuna noticed how Paine's once relaxed body got a bit tense. Before she could ask anything else Rikku waltzed into the room she paused and looked at Paine.

"You're still wearing that?" She pointed.

"It's going to take a second more Rikku." Yuna rolled her eyes at her cousin's impatience.

"Oh… Well I think I left something downstairs." Rikku nodded leaving the room again.

Yuna shook her head.

"Is she always this weird?" Paine asked jokingly.

"Only around you it seems."

##

"You made us dinner?" Yuna questioned in disbelief as she and Paine finally came downstairs to look for Rikku.

"I didn't like anything you had in here Yunie." Rikku motioned to the fridge. "I made mac n cheese and—"

"Jelly beans?" Paine asked.

"No." Rikku sent Paine a playful glare. "I roasted a chicken and—"

"You roasted a chicken?" Yuna raised her eyebrows. No wonder she was down here so long.

"Would you two let me finish!" Rikku chuckled. "Yes I did, I thought it would be nice, y'know…"

"Oh… Okay." Yuna nodded. She couldn't understand Rikku's angle. "Um… How long until it is done?"

"About ten minutes." Rikku nodded peeking into the oven. "I was going to make a salad too… Y'know, something green."

"Do you need help with anything?" Yuna asked still unsure why Rikku went through all this trouble. Usually she was the first one to order a pizza.

"Sure, you like salads right Pai?"

Paine shrugged. "If you make one I'll eat some."

"Okay." Rikku nodded. "Here Yunie." She walked over to Yuna and handed her a tomato, "you can cut this up. I'm staying away from those things." She sent Paine a little look and Paine recalled the time in her kitchen.

45 minutes later the three found themselves still sitting at the mahogany colored dining room table. Yuna sat at the head of the table with Rikku to her right and Paine to her left. Kimahri lay beside Paine's chair calmly waiting for the smallest morsel of food to drop.

The three were laughing freely at a story Rikku was telling about Yuna when they were younger.

"Then that's how we all learned that Yunie and Townsin Lowell were going out." Rikku laughed.

"So embarrassing." Yuna shook her head.

It was interesting to see Rikku reacting with someone else. She wasn't as quiet as when they were together, but Paine didn't see that as a bad thing. By knowing Yuna she could better get to know the many dimensions to her new friend. The conversation seemed to flow easily. Rikku and Yuna exchanging rapid words, even Paine got a story or two in. She didn't feel required to do anything but enjoy herself. They didn't want anything from Paine but her company. It was still a hard concept to grasp.

Yuna sat back in her chair completely full. She glanced on the ground to where Kimahri had fallen asleep beside Paine.

"He likes you Paine."

"Kimahri doesn't like strangers." Rikku informed as Paine looked down at the sleeping dog beside her chair. She leaned down and ruffled his head where a thick patch of fur lay. She had always like dogs, but living with four other people in the middle of the city was no real home for one.

"He pretty much attacked Tidus when he came over."

"Tidus came over! Ooooh Yunie you're holding out." Rikku leaned closer to Yuna in her chair, she brought her hand to her chin and grinned. "Hm?"

Yuna blushed a little. "Yes, but only for a second. He was in the neighborhood and I had promised to let him borrow a DVD… nothing happened."

"Say that to your face." Paine joked and the blush on Yuna's face deepened.

"Awww!" Rikku grinned. "So are you two like together together?"

"We're just dating." Yuna shook her head. "I told Paine that he bet me."

"You knew about this bet?" Paine asked looking over at Rikku.

"Me? What?"

"Don't try and look innocent." Yuna chuckled.

"You're trying to get me in trouble or something?" Rikku laughed nudging Yuna.

Paine laughed. "You're not in trouble, but you both owe me."

"How?"

"Did you see what she's making me wear?" Paine asked incredulously. Yuna only laughed.

"I did." Rikku looked down at her plate. She almost wished she hadn't.

"You'll be fine."

"How big is this thing anyway?" Paine took a sip of water. It hadn't occurred to her to ask before until just now.

Rikku and Yuna exchanged looks. "It's actually a pretty big deal."

Paine sighed. "Great."

##

"All the dog slobber is dried I promise." Paine reassured as she handed Rikku her leather jacket.

The two had just said their goodbyes to Yuna and were now walking down the dark scarcely lit street. Yuna lived deep within the Heights and about a twenty minute stroll from Rikku's home, which was a little closer to the city.

Even though their stomachs were full and warm, the chilly spring night had taken them by surprise. Paine was just offering Rikku her jacket since she was only wearing a tank top.

Rikku smiled as way of thank you and soon found herself surround by warmth that smelt like Paine; it was comforting.

"That was fun; I didn't know you could actually cook." Paine spoke. She was trying to keep her mind off how cute Rikku looked in her jacket. She was wearing the lapels flipped up so the wind wouldn't nip at her neck. The sleeves were just a tad long on her, but other than that it was a nice fit.

Rikku let out a small laugh. "That's about the only thing I can cook, but I'm glad you liked it."

"Yeah." Paine nodded stuffing her hands into her pockets for warmth. She was only in a plain shirt and jeans.

They were quiet for a little bit. Rikku thought it was nice how well Yuna and Paine got a long. At first she had to admit she wasn't sure. She knew Yuna, and she was getting to know Paine, and sometimes they both had unfavorable qualities. "I'm glad you decided to help out Yunie, she was really worried you wouldn't."

Paine shrugged. "She seems nice."

"Yeah." Rikku nodded. A particularly strong wind swept passed them; rattling a few nearby trees and creating a distinct whistling sound. "It's still cold." Rikku mumbled.

Paine glanced over at her then back in front of them. "Not for long." Summer would soon be here and they would be wishing for nights like this. Paine liked the cold. It stung at her cheeks but made the warmth that much more enjoyable.

The majority of the walk was held in their comfortable silence.

"I almost told Yunie Pai…" It had come out before she could even stop it, like water bursting out of a dam. They were a block away from Rikku's home and for a second she wanted to just turn around and sleep at Yuna's. Would Auron still be there? "She feels hurt because I still can't say… I told her I was scared." Rikku looked over at Paine's profile in the dark. "I feel even worse for not saying anything, she's my best friend."

Paine was quiet.

Rikku took it as her not knowing what to say. Five minutes later they were walking up her stoop. Rikku was surprised when Paine just sat down on the top step. She paused but then took a seat close beside her. Rikku yawned lightly and rested her head on Paine's shoulder.

Paine stiffened up a little but then relaxed. She could just barely smell Rikku's shampoo as the night breeze pushed her blonde hair about. Somehow she knew that Rikku wasn't done talking. She didn't want to just push her problems away like they weren't important, but she didn't know what to say either. Paine knew that a simple "I know," wouldn't fix it.

"He was here today." Rikku said quietly.

Paine looked at Rikku quickly. "Here?" Her only response was Rikku nodding. "What did he want?"

"Nothing Paine, he's my father's friend remember?" Rikku felt herself choke up a little. The overwhelming emotions from earlier were coming back in small waves. "They go on trips together, they work together, they hang out, they're friends." Rikku could feel herself breaking down with each syllable of the truth. She took a shaky breath. "What do I say to him? How could I just say something to him about one of his best friends?" Rikku shook her head. "I can't." She pulled her head off of Paine's shoulder and tried to quickly wipe away her tears before Paine saw.

She couldn't believe she was crying right now in front of her. "I'm sorry." She managed. "I just, I feel like crap Pai. I feel… dirty somehow." Rikku looked to Paine for understanding and their eyes locked. Rikku opened her mouth then closed it. How could she say it so Paine understood? The look she was getting right now was asking for more. "Every time I see him I feel sick. I don't think it will ever go away, I don't think he will ever go away."

Paine was always taught to be tough, to push emotions deep within and fight whatever pulled at those forgotten things. She held Rikku's gaze and reached her right hand out and rubbed the other girls back gently, just the way she had done to her just the day before. Paine hoped it created the same calming sensation. "I won't let anything happen to you," Paine whispered as Rikku curled up at her side once again. Paine kept her arm around her as Rikku ducked her head into her shoulder. "Some things just happen, and at the time we don't really think it will affect us as much as it ends up doing." Paine was quiet for a second remembering how fucked up she was. How lost, how hard it had been with no one there. She wouldn't let Rikku go through that. "A lack of judgment yes, but not lack of character."

They stayed outside in that same position until Rikku was sure she felt Paine shivering, or at least trying not to shiver. "Come inside." Rikku spoke quietly as she stood. Paine moved to protest but Rikku wasn't having any of it. "You're blue Pai, get up."

##

The next morning Paine woke to bright light shining onto her face. She groaned and rolled over and was met with soft warmth. Paine quickly opened her eyes and jumped so far back at what she saw, that she fell out of bed.

"Ah fuck!" She groaned holding her head.

Since when did her room have hard wood floors?

A knock came at the door. "Rikku?"

"Shit." Paine looked from the mess of blonde curls under the blanket that was probably Rikku, and then to the door.

"You better be awake, you have exams today." The voice paused. "You're not masturbating are you?"

"What?" Paine asked quietly from her spot on the ground.

Cid paused for a minute. Maybe that wasn't the best joke. The door knocked again. "Rikku!"

Rikku began to move around in her sleep. "Pops, Cdub oammehk E rayn oui!" Rikku let out a heavy annoyed sigh.

Paine raised an eyebrow. She didn't know Rikku could speak her mother's native language.

"Well hurry up! I'm leaving." Heavy steps could be heard growing fainter and Paine let out a small sigh of relief. She didn't know why but somehow she didn't think meeting Rikku's father while in Rikku's bed made much sense.

Err on the floor.

"Huh?" Rikku sat up rubbing her eyes, she looked over the mountain of pillows Paine put between them but didn't see Paine. It was only until she pushed a few pillows away and crawled to the other side of her bed did she see Paine lying on her back.

"Morning." Paine offered lamely.

Rikku chuckled. "What happened?"

"I fell out." Paine picked herself up and ran a self conscious hand through her hair. "I, maybe shouldn't have stayed." She reasoned and furrowed a brow at the slightly hurt look on Rikku's face.

"Oh." Rikku nodded. "Well I didn't— You slept pretty still, and you were cold. I just didn't want you to have to go all the way home to come all the way back for our morning class and you know." Rikku stopped her rambling and took a small breath.

Paine couldn't help but chuckle. Even though she had slept in her jeans, and on the far edge of the large bed, and even put pillows between them, she had slept in Rikku's bed. "It's okay I just y'know… Didn't want to make you feel weird, or…" Paine stopped herself.

"Well…" Rikku thought aloud. "When Yunie sleeps over she sleeps in here with me… So that means it's okay… somehow." Rikku nodded.

"Right right." Paine was quick to agree. Then just like that the awkwardness was gone. It was quiet for a second before Paine realized why she had stayed over in the first place. "Are you okay?"

Rikku seemed a little confused at first but then nodded. "Thanks for listening last night. I know I probably sounded like a blubbering fool."

"Yeah a little." Paine shrugged.

"Hey!" Rikku grabbed the pillow closest to her and threw it at Paine who dodged it easily.

##

Rikku drummed her pencil on the desk in front of her. She glanced up to the front of the classroom where Auron stood behind the lecture podium doing something. He looked up and caught her glance. Rikku just looked back down to her final exam.

She sighed.

A million and one things were on her mind and none of them had to do with ethics.

Paine had finished before her and walked down to hand in her exam. She placed her test in the return bin and watched as Auron picked it up and set it aside from the rest. Auron made sure she had seen the move and went about his work as if nothing was wrong.

Paine stood there for a second. He was fucking with her future all because Rikku had closed her legs to him. He was a coward and it took everything in Paine not start something.

##

"Is this seat taken?"

Paine looked up and she couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips. She stood up. "Depends."

Baralai smirked "Will you hit me if I tried to hug you?"

"Probably."

His smile only grew as he leaned in and gave Paine a tight hug.

The two separated and Paine sat down on the bench near the student union. She had agreed to meet Rikku here if she finished before her. For a second Paine couldn't really place what she was feeling looking at Baralai.

He was an older version of his young self. His feathery white hair a hard comparison to his deep skin, he still had the look of innocence about him.

"You look good." Baralai smiled.

"You got tall on me." Paine said affectionately.

"I did." Lai nodded laughing a little too. It was obvious the two were checking the other up and down for any sign of the person they once knew. "I'm glad you called me." Paine only nodded and Baralai shied away from her studying gaze; her auburn eyes a tad deeper now. The bright hue they once were was gone with the years. "I really didn't think you wanted to see me."

"I didn't." Paine said honestly.

"I must thank this Rikku then." Lai nodded. "She's cute."

Paine chuckled. "Even to you?"

Baralai chuckled. "Even to me."

"So you figured it all out then?" Paine asked sending him a curious look.

Baralai shook his head. "No. Have you?"

Paine scratched the back of her head. "You were no help."

Lai laughed. "Sorry."

Paine shook her head. "It's okay." In the distance she could just make out Rikku and Lulu walking side by side. She looked back to Baralai. "This doesn't mean we're friends."

"Of course." Lai nodded understanding already. He had some explaining to do, and he was interested to see what Paine had gotten herself into. He knew by looking at her that something had been broken. He just didn't know what. "But maybe we can be, if you'll let me." His words were sincere, Paine knew it and somehow she hated that. How he could be so sincere and just months before she was on a roof top with Gippal cursing his name. Was she really that bad?

"Maybe." Paine spoke honestly.

Baralai had been a huge part of her past, but that was it. The past. She didn't know if he had a place in her future. She didn't know, and she wasn't going to begin making promises. Not to mention Gippal. Sure this whole six digrees of separation thing was interesting, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. He was still her best friend; he was there when she was at her lowest lending nothing but support. She couldn't and wouldn't forget that the moment Baralai strolled back in and flashed her his most charming forgive me smile. It just wasn't going to happen.

The two stood once Lulu and Rikku approached. "Lailac, Paine." Lulu greeted.

"Lailac?" Paine asked. "Seriously?"

Baralai shrugged. "I don't think she knows my real name, we met and she's been calling me that since."

Rikku smiled at the two, mainly Paine. She didn't think she would actually go through with it and call him. She was glad. If nothing came out of it Paine could have said she tried. She could say that she opened herself up to something.

"Yuna tells me you look great in all of the clothes. You obviously had a change of heart." Lulu stated directing her gaze towards Paine who only shrugged in return. "A deal is a deal though." Lulu said to her, nodded at Baralai and then looked to Rikku. "I will see you later. Try and rest hm?"

"Thanks Lulu." Rikku smiled and just like that Lulu was gone. Rikku turned to the two old friends and smiled. "Nice to see you both."

"Always a pleasure." Baralai nodded.

"Hey, how did it go?" Paine asked.

Rikku shrugged. "Let's go get lunch Pai, Lai wanna come?"

Paine sent Rikku a look that Baralai caught. "No thank you, I actually have another final soon." He turned to Paine and smiled. "Even to you?"

"Go away Lai." Paine dismissed and the boy chuckled before tapping her hand and taking it in his own before walking off. Rikku furrowed a brow at the action and looked between the two. "What?" Paine finally asked. "I thought this was your idea?"

"Yeah." Rikku nodded, taking one last look at Baralai as he got smaller and smaller. "You guys seem close."

"We were." Paine said glancing after the boy. "But I don't know him now."

"You listened to me." Rikku grinned as the two began walking. Paine was about to reply when something stopped her. She reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her phone. "Go ahead." Rikku nodded when she sent her a questioning look.

"Paine." She answered. "Whoa Em slow down… he's what? Okay. Alright… I'm on my way." Paine hung up the phone and looked around for a second. "I have to go."

"Is everything okay?"

She was already walking away. "I'll call you." Paine nodded before running off in the opposite direction.

##

"What fuck Gip!"

"I'm gonna kill him!"

Paine shook her head. "Why!"

Gippal was leaned over the kitchen sink with a bag of frozen peas pressed to his face. He grumbled something. Paine turned to look at Elma who was cleaning up her medical kit.

"He just came in bleeding, wouldn't say what was wrong."

"Of course he wouldn't." Paine sighed. She waited until Elma left then addressed Gippal. "What did you do?"

"Why do I always have to do something?" Gippal clenched his jaw.

"Because you always do Gip, what the fuck?"

"I didn't do shit."

Paine shook her head. "What happened?"

Gippal straightened his back and removed the bag of peas. "I was walking down Brumley with Shu and Bart..."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Gippal shook his head. "Look just because you grew up or whatever and left everyone behind doesn't mean I'm gonna do the same." He spat.

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Tell me how you really feel Trent."

Gippal shook his head. "Where the fuck have you been? Open your eyes." He left the kitchen and stormed off to his room.

Paine sighed and ran a hand down her face. She reached for her keys and headed out the door.

She found herself walking down the dimly lit hallway that smelt vaguely of urine and an ash tray. She remembered the last time she had walked down these halls. The hairs on the back of her neck stood as she passed a familiar face. They didn't recognize her though. Paine stuffed her hands in her pockets.

Dona Pilgrim smirked when she saw who was at the door. She crossed her slender arms and leaned against the door frame of apartment number 24A. "I didn't know the Doctor still made house calls." She was about an inch taller than Paine and all legs. Her ebony skin flawless, her breasts full and her misty gray eyes were known to bring many a men to their knees. But she wasn't after them. No, she hadn't been for a while now. She was one Barthello Pilgrim's many younger sisters.

"Where's Bart?"

"To the point huh? Not even a hello, nice to see you after what, A year of ignoring everyone east of Hadley."

"Hi."

"Here for business I see." Dona glanced her up and down. "You look skinnier."

Paine shifted her weight self consciously. She lost a lot of weight when she first stopped using and just hadn't seemed to put it back on. "You look like you."

"Was that a compliment Kerrigan?"

Paine shrugged and Dona smiled. "Bart?" She redirected the conversation.

"Come in." Dona stepped aside.

Paine looked around suddenly nervous. "I'd rather not."

Dona nodded slowly. "I forgot."

"Its okay, can you just get him for me?" The longer she stayed the more real the truth was, the more she itched. The more everything didn't seem so bad, she could easily slip back, and she knew it.

"Sure." Dona left and Paine sighed heavily.

What the hell was she doing here again?

##

Rikku opened the front door to her house and was met with loud voices. "Pop!" She called as she kicked off her shoes. Before she could call out again Auron appeared to greet her. He was holding a glass of scotch and was clad in a different suit from the one she saw him wearing in class.

"Your father won the Yurkshire case, we are celebrating in the den." He explained.

Rikku kept her feet planted near the door. "That's good for him."

Auron nodded. "You should make an appearance, he'd be glad to see you. I know I am."

Rikku swallowed at the look he was giving her. "Listen to me Auron, whatever happened, happened and is never going to happen again. So leave me the fuck alone."

Auron only grinned at this. "Was that what Paine told you to say? Or are you finally learning to use that mouth of yours?"

##

Stone cold eyes were locked onto auburn ones.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shut this door in your face."

Paine smirked. "Because I know you miss me."

"You're too fucking cocky." Bart shook his head. Barthello was a muscular man a few years older than Paine. He wore his black hair short and had lighter skin than most of his siblings. He lost his parents in a building fire many years ago. Ever since then he was taking care of his three little sisters by himself. He had got into drugs hardcore in high school with Paine and the two had ran with the same bunch of delinquents for the better part of their childhoods. From how Gippal spoke now a days he was still very much involved in the drug world. "What do you want Kerrigan? I know it ain't to say hi, a little too late for that." Bart crossed his muscular arms.

"What happened to Gippal?"

"Oh him?" Bart shook his head. "He was asking for it."

"How? Did you see his face?"

"Yeah I saw it; I was the one that did it."

Paine shook her head but before she could speak Bart interrupted her. "Your boy get's one black eye and you feel the need to show up here demanding answers? You have no fucking right Kerrigan. You lost that right when you left, now I suggest you get outta here before you lose your way again. Wouldn't wanna end up like one of us now would you?" His words were not cold nor threatening. Paine had been his friend for a long time, but the code was the code.

"Leave Gippal alone."

"Tell him to mind his own business and everything will be fine." He shook his head and closed the door.

##

"You seem to be avoiding me again. Didn't we learn our lesson?"

"What don't you understand about me not wanting to see you?"

Auron shook his head. "I say when things are done."

Rikku crossed her arms. "You can't accept that I'm done pretending to enjoy you?"

Auron made a move toward and grabbed her wrist with his free hand. He squeezed it tightly.

"Let go." Rikku growled trying to ignore the pain that shot up her arm.

He quickly complied when he heard someone coming.

"Rikku you're home." Cid smiled when he entered the foyer. He looked between Auron and Rikku curiously. "What?"

Rikku looked at her father with sad eyes. Cid stepped further into the room his fatherly instincts kicking in. He hadn't seen those since her mother died. "Rikku."

"Disappointment." Auron announced.  
>"It seems she didn't do as well as she thought on my exam." Auron sent Rikku a threatening look over Cid's shoulder.<p>

Rikku shook her head in disbelief. Cid came to hug her but she pushed him away and glared at him. "No!" How could he not see?

##

She shouldn't have gone back.

Paine felt a shiver up her spine the sensation too much for her shaken nervous system. She lay under her covers completely naked in a cold sweat.

This wasn't supposed to be happening.

She clutched at the worn sheets and closed her eyes tightly. It would pass, it had to pass.

**AN: Hi! Loved the reviews last chapter. Special thanks to TK, your input was greatly appreciated. So hopefully this next update won't take too long. Something tells me this party is going to be verrry interesting ;) Review!**

**KathleenDee **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"She's in the workout room." Tidus pointed. Rikku nodded and made a move to leave but he stopped her. "She's uh… kinda in a mood." He warned.

"When is she not?"

Paine couldn't find her gloves this morning. It didn't matter though; it just meant she felt each jab better than before. She could feel, and it was a glorious feeling compared to the way she spent her night.

Numb, cold, and alone.

Paine let out a small grunt as the pain shot through her now bruising knuckles. She hadn't had symptoms of withdrawal in months. They said it could happen again, but Paine swore she had a control over these things.

She _needed_ control over this.

She felt sick and she hated it. Everything seemed dizzy even when she stood still and she knew there was only one way to fix it.

Another loud pop could be heard as Paine kicked the punching bag. She had to do the only other thing that hurt more. She had to regain control or she was certain she would fall.

Just like she had that day at Bart's.

She had overdosed, and the only reason she was here today was because of Bart. Sometimes Paine wished that she would have been left alone, for the next 12 months of her life after the incident, she felt like she wanted to die, it didn't seem worth it. The police had obviously investigated the situation behind her overdosing and Bart was sent to jail for a few months. He wasn't mad at her, he was the one to call the ambulance, but the rest of the crew that Paine used to hang out with saw it differently.

Rikku found the workout room easily. The only sounds that could be heard was the punching bag being hit rapidly. She wondered if Paine was sparing again with that tall fellow.

Rikku knew the woman would be working out but when she caught sight of Paine she furrowed a brow. There didn't seem to be any system behind her hits. She was just beating the crap out of the punching bag.

Something was wrong.

She was dressed in her black shorts and a gray and black underarmour shirt that stuck to her skin. White headphones could be seen coming out from her hip. Paine's body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and her hair had fallen in her face. Rikku let a breath of surprise escape when she caught sight of Paine's knuckles. Her beautiful piano hands were clenched tightly into fists and red and bloodied from her continuous attempts at beating the punching bag up. Rikku didn't know what disturbed her more, the fact that she was hurt and didn't seem to care, or the fact that she just kept on going while in obvious pain.

There was no loud rap today, but the closer she got the louder the music on Paine's headphones could be heard. She must have had it on full blast.

Paine followed the rhythm of the song as she delivered jab after jab to the defenseless bag. She was mad at herself. She knew better.

Paine felt someone approaching and instinctively turned with her fists up in defense. Her labored breath was the only thing Paine could hear once the song on her mp3 player died out and she was left staring deep into surprised emerald eyes.

Rikku took a step back from Paine and looked at her carefully; her auburn eyes were deep but clear, her strong arms shaking slightly; her entire body moving as she fought for oxygen to get into her lungs. Paine lowered her fists and blinked a couple of times. "Ri…."

Rikku stepped closer to her and did something Paine wasn't at all expecting.

She hugged her.

Paine stiffened, her whole body ridged and unyielding. Her mind was here, but her body was still on fight mode, and the last thing you expected to get while fighting was a hug. When she realized Rikku wasn't moving until she hugged her back Paine sighed heavily and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. She was soft, and she smelt nice, and she felt cool against Paine's heated body. Paine would be lying if she said she didn't need it.

These hugs were starting to become a problem.

Rikku was surprised to feel Paine rest her head gently against the side of hers, it was like she was really leaning on her. She was engulfed in a sweaty mess that was Paine, and all Rikku could think was to hug her tighter. It felt so right to be hugging her, after the night she had Rikku wanted to just hold on and not let go.

After literally a second of weakness Paine pulled herself together and pulled away from Rikku. She avoided her eyes as she pulled her muted headphones out of her ears. "I was going to call… I said I would, but…"

"It's okay." Rikku nodded realizing something must have happened in her world to have Paine this shaken. She wanted to ask what but she knew that she wouldn't get anything out of her. Not now at least. Rikku watched as Paine went to the opposite side of the room to her duffle bag and pulled out a small towel. She paused before handing it to Rikku. She had just hugged her while she was sweaty. Paine could always shower, but Rikku was in her regular clothes. Paine extended the towel to her and Rikku grabbed a hold of the taller girl's wrist and pulled her closer. She took the towel out of her hand flipped Paine's right hand over.

"You're such an idiot." She chided softly while looking at the torn flesh.

Paine tried to pull her hand away but Rikku wouldn't let go. "I lost my gloves." Paine didn't even try to look at Rikku as she said it. She knew it was a dumb excuse.

"You lost your gloves? Fine, but don't come in here and turn you're hands into hamburger Paine. What's wrong with you?" This is self mutilation." Rikku could feel herself getting angry,

Paine frowned and gently pulled her hand out of Rikku's. She didn't think she would understand. Sure it would hurt all week, but that was just replacing one unpleasant stimulus with another. "I don't… its okay."

"No it's not Paine, look at your hands!" Rikku pointed.

Paine was quiet as Rikku pulled her along to the first aid station. The blonde mumbling her stupidity as she carefully applied some type of cream and then wrapped Paine's hands up like mittens.

"How am I supposed to write like this?" Paine question waving her gauze paws about. She shot Tidus a look that wiped the grin off his face quickly and directed his attention back to the front desk where he was situated.

"You should have thought about that before you went all gimmie your lunch money on the punching bag."

Paine watched as Rikku began to walk off. "Where you going?"

"To bring my car around."

Paine furrowed a brow. "Why?"

"To take you to the doctors."

"Rikku I have a class!" The blonde was already on her way out of the rec center. Paine shook her head.

Nearby she could hear Tidus making the whip lashing noise.

"Shut up Teedus." Paine growled going to the locker room.

##

Paine hated hospitals.

She hated waiting too.

She hated waiting in hospitals.

"Rikku it's been a fucking hour." Paine mumbled to the girl to her left.

"Shh." Rikku waved a hand at Paine as she flipped through an out dated version of some fashion magazine.

_Did she just shush me?_

"I have a—"

"Paine seriously, I'm reading." Rikku sent Paine a little look.

Paine stared at Rikku in disbelief as she went back to reading the article on scarf tying. She grumbled to herself and shifted uncomfortably in waiting room chair.

So maybe she was.

Paine looked around the waiting room for the fifteenth hundredth time and noticed nothing had changed. The young boy with curly black hair was still annoyingly reading magazines out loud to his mother.

_Show off._

The elder couple near the entrance should just be pronounced dead already; they were either dead, or asleep. The overweight man in his middle ages who kept turning around to look at Rikku in her pretty shorts and blouse was _still_ turning around to look at Rikku in pretty shorts and blouse. The rest of the room was full of coughs and cries of pain. Every once and a while a less then enthused elderly woman with large hoop earrings would come out, in blue scrubs, jut out her hip, and then mispronounce someone else's name.

The room smelt like hand sanitizer, plastic, and green crayons.

The sharp pain in her knuckles wasn't helping her patience either. Paine tried to shower before she left the gym, probably wasn't one of her smartest ideas.

So there she sat, clad in her worn jeans, a random shirt she pulled out of her closet that morning, her leather jacket, and her slightly dampened gauze paws.

Rikku giggled.

Paine turned and raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes?"

"You're scowling."

Paine rolled her eyes and went back to looking ahead. "That's not something I would consider giggle worthy."

Rikku shrugged, she could tell Paine was cranky, but one, she put herself here, and two, she was kinda cute like this; pouting and sighing every now and then. Rikku closed her magazine. "How do your hands feel?"

Paine shrugged. "They hurt a little."

"Aw poor baby." Rikku chuckled; her grin only grew when Paine sighed again.

Rikku was quiet for a while after that. She had been mad about Paine hurting herself because she cared about Paine. There wasn't a question that she had grown a little attached to the woman beside her.

She cared.

Paine stole a look at her. Rikku had this look about her that made Paine curious to know what was going on in her head. She knew if she asked the younger woman would tell her, but then again Paine didn't know if she wanted to know.

"Kerrigan, Pam?"

"Paine." Paine corrected as she stood.

Rikku stood up as well. "Are you going to be okay?" She asked quietly and sat back down when she got a nod from Paine.

Rikku watched Paine disappear with the nurse. Taking care of her was a nice distraction from what had really been on Rikku's mind; the reasons she went looking for Paine that morning in the first place.

Auron.

She had slept at Yuna's house last night. The brunette seemed concerned but didn't push Rikku to say anything. Rikku wanted to tell Yuna, and her father. She just needed to find a way to be able to communicate it. She needed her father to take her seriously and she needed Yuna to know already. She hated keeping things like this away from them. Though Paine was quiet most of the time, she knew that she could probably help. Rikku needed advice, and Paine was the only one who knew. She just needed to explain to her how she felt unsafe without Paine flipping out and wanting to castrate Auron. She knew Paine felt somewhat protective over her. She kind of liked it that way.

"What did they say?" Rikku jumped up 15 minutes later. Paine had returned, her gauze paws were nowhere in sight. Instead her pale hands had a few smaller bandages on them and she was holding a tiny prescription bag.

"They cleaned 'em up, nothing too serious."

Rikku put her hands on her hips. "Do I need to go back there and ask someone?"

"What you don't believe me?" Paine raised her eyebrows.

Rikku looked at that baggy. "What's that?"

"Just some cream. Can we go now?" Paine whined. She was done dealing with people today and it was only 11 am.

"Yeah yeah."

The car ride back to school was quiet. It wasn't until the two pulled into the student parking lot where Rikku always parked that Paine said something.

"I've got an exam soon so I'm going to go." She pulled her messenger bag over shoulder.

Rikku nodded as she got out of her car and pulled a binder out from the back seat. "Um… What are you doing later? Do you work?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah till close, so I'll be here a little late, why?"

"Well I was…" Rikku paused as she got all of her things out of the car and closed the door. She walked around to where Paine was. "I just needed to talk to you about something…"

Paine nodded slowly. She searched Rikku's eyes for some kind of hint but got none. "Sure."

"Okay so… Call me when you are on your way?"

Paine nodded. "I will."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Paine hesitated for a second, Rikku saw this and smiled. She couldn't help it, and if she could she probably wouldn't. Paine sent her a questioning look.

"You're welcome." Rikku said. She grabbed Paine's forearm and gave it a little squeeze and then turned around to go to her next class. She was actually a little late for it.

Paine shook her head as she watched the blonde walk off.

##

"What the hell happened to you ya?"

"Hm?" Paine asked not even noticing that Wakka had approached the main desk where she and Tidus sat at around eight at night.

Wakka gave Paine a look and then looked at Tidus.

"She's been like that all shift."

"Been like what?" Paine asked sitting up straight in her chair.

"Y'know." Tidus leaned back in his chair and put on his best dreamy expression. Wakka began laughing.

"I haven't been like that you idiot." Paine rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Wakka. "What's up?"

Wakka chuckled. "Yuh hands ya?"

"Punching bag vs Paine, punching bag one," Tidus giggled while making two fists and putting them in front of his face.

Paine ignored him and self consciously pulled at the small tape like bandages. "I lost my gloves."

Wakka furrowed a brow. "So you still went workin out den? Man."

Paine shrugged. "You heading home now?"

Wakka nodded, he had his gym bag over his shoulders and was wearing his usual blitzball memorabilia. "You coming with? Don't you guys close soon?"

"We close at nine tonight." Tidus informed from behind the counter. "But uh I guess I can let Paine here go, she's gotta get her beauty rest for the big show soon."

Wakka watched in confusion as Paine glared daggers at Tidus. "What big show?"

"Nothing." Paine cut Tidus off. "No I have things to do once I get off."

"Things… To do ya?" Wakka rubbed the back of his head. He shrugged. "Okay, I'll see ya den, bye brudda." Wakka nodded towards Tidus and then left.

"What? What did I say?" Tidus asked nervously while Paine stared him down.

"You spoke, that was the problem."

"Hey I think it's cool that you're helping Yuna out… I mean I'll be there to su—"

"Tidus you can stop talking now." Paine went back to what she was pretending to be doing while she thought about Rikku. After closing up she and Tidus said their goodbyes and Paine began her walk toward the Heights. It wasn't far at all from the campus and she enjoyed the time to stretch her legs. It was a cool night, the moon light was becoming more known once she stepped just out the major city limits. Paine pulled out her cell phone when she neared the Bayla residence.

"Mhmmm?" Rikku mumbled cutely into the phone.

"Are you sleeping?"

Rikku sat up and quickly glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand. She ran a hand through her messy hair. "No! No I'm not…." She hopped out of bed and nearly tripped over the covers that had been wrapped around her.

"I think you were." Paine chuckled. "I'm almost there."

"Like… almost like almost?" Rikku asked as she slipped on some sweat pants. She had fallen asleep in her panties and a purple top with a yellow star on it.

"Almost like a minute away." Paine smiled to herself as she heard Rikku move about.

"Okay well… okay bye!"

A few minutes later Rikku opened the front door for Paine and Paine couldn't help but smile lightly at her. Even when she was dressed down Rikku looked nice. Her usual head band was out and her honey blonde hair was everywhere. It reminded Paine a little of a lion's mane, but with braids and beads randomly placed here and there. "Come in come in." Rikku ushered. Paine stepped inside and took off her shoes by the door like she had learned to do. "How are your hands?" She asked when she noticed Paine had been pulling at the probably annoying bandage work.

"I was going to ask for some damn scissors, these things itch." Paine rubbed the backs of her hands together causing Rikku to laugh a little.

"Yeah come upstairs, I'll get some."

After getting the bandages off and Paine applying some of the cream to her hands the two found themselves just idly talking about nothing.

Paine was sitting on the floor of Rikku's room with her back leaned up against the right side of the bed while Rikku was lounging on the bed with her feet tapping the head board every now and then.

"So have you talked to Baralai since yesterday?" Rikku asked. She had started painting her fingernails yellow just for the hell of it.

"No." Paine shook her head. "Y'know if I didn't know any better id think you were trying to hook us up or something."

Rikku laughed. "No, I couldn't see you with someone like him." Paine made a noise of agreement. "Paralai…" She giggled. "That's what your couple name would be."

"Ew."

Rikku laughed and put her attention back on her nails. "I think he's nice."

"I know you do." Paine had a notebook out on her lap. She had to get some studying in too. It was a good thing she was a great multi-tasker. "Rippal."

Rikku made a gagging noise. "You know the only two reasons I'm going to this party is because Yunie wants me to go, and the free booze."

"Never mind that I will be there." Paine chuckled.

"Yeah never mind that, you'll prolly be spending time with your _crew_, no time for lil ol' me."

"Stop calling them my crew. " Paine said with amusement. "If you're lucky I may buy you a drink."

"It's an open bar Pai!" Rikku laughed.

"I never said I was rich." Paine wore a small smile as she focused on her notes again. "Should be fun though."

"Yeah the semester will be over soon… are you studying right now?" Rikku crawled over to where Paine's head was and read over her shoulder. "You have pretty handwriting." She commented once she saw Paine's class notes.

Paine was trying to focus on the sentence she was reading, and not how close Rikku was to her face right now. "Yeah." She shrugged.

"Hm…"

Paine glanced at Rikku then back to her paper quickly when she realized how close their faces were. She was in her personal space and Paine was getting uncomfortable. Seeing this Rikku rolled onto her back and blew on her drying nails.

"Paine…"

"Yeah?"

Rikku glanced at the back of her head. "Auron was here yesterday." She watched as Paine sighed and closed her notebook. "I was actually…"

"Did he touch you?" Paine asked not turning to look at Rikku.

Rikku was quiet. "Not like that…"

"Like how then?" Paine asked turning to look at Rikku. They stared at each for a second before Rikku spoke again.

"Like… he just held my wrist."

"He held your wrist…" Rikku nodded. "He didn't grab it?"

"Paine—"

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

Rikku turned to lie on her stomach and nodded at Paine. "I'm gonna tell Pops and Yunie…" She scooted to her right and patted the bed for Paine to lie on her stomach beside her. Paine sighed before getting up and joining Rikku, their shoulders were flush against the others.

"I don't like that he hangs around here." Paine said honestly.

"I think he's just doing it to bother me."

"He hurt you. That's not okay." Paine glanced at Rikku to try and get her point across without having to admit to anything. She was upset right now, and she knew Rikku knew it.

Rikku leaned onto Paine lightly. "I know, but I've got that bat remember?" She said trying to lighten the serious mood. Seeing that Paine wasn't budging she sighed. "What do I do? I can't really do anything until June."

"Why June?"

"That's when grades are set in stone; the university won't go back and change em just because he said."

"For just his class though?" Rikku shook her head no. Paine ran a hand through her hair. "Ri."

"I know, okay?" I know I fucked up."

"Your dad is a lawyer though can't he—"

"That's if he believes me first."

"Why wouldn't he? You're his daughter."

Rikku shook her head. "He loves me, but he doesn't know me. How do I know he won't side with Auron? He's done it for his job plenty of times." Paine shook her head and was about to say something when Rikku cut her off. "He never put a gun to my head Paine, I… I let this happen." Rikku said. "I know him, he won't like Auron, but he will hate me if he finds out that it wasn't all Auron."

Paine was quiet. She wasn't sure why, but she was starting to feel sick. "So… you initiated it?"

"No." Rikku said quickly.

"So did he rape you?"

"No! Paine…"

Paine sat up. "So what do you want me to do Rikku?" She asked a little harshly. "Am I supposed to be mad at this prick or what?"

"Why are you getting mad?" Rikku said sitting up quickly. "I just wanted your advice."

"Because I'm the only one who knows?"

"Yes."

"You have no case, you're the law student, shouldn't you know this?"

Rikku bit her bottom lip. "Paine."

Paine was looking everywhere but at Rikku. She wasn't sure what was happening to her. "I'm sorry." She apologized. She chanced a look at Rikku and felt even worse. "I'm sorry." She said a little louder. "I just… I get…" She shrugged at Rikku hoping she would understand what she meant. "Hearing it is just different from inferring."

Rikku nodded. She sighed. "I guess… yeah I understand." She pushed back the tears that were so close to falling.

Paine exhaled. "I still think you should tell your father."

"I was so close to doing it yesterday."

"What happened?"

"Well Auron was right there and I just, I couldn't put it in words."

"What if you tried writing to him." Paine thought on it for a second. She went back to lying on her stomach and Rikku soon joined her. "When I was younger this social worker had me write a letter to my parents."

Rikku smiled to herself at how cute a young Paine must have looked, she was surprised that Paine was being open about this. Besides that night at the park she hadn't really said anything about her past to her. "Did they get it?"

Paine shrugged looking at the scars on her knuckles. "I don't know. But it did help me feel a little better, just to get all that out." Paine chanced a look at Rikku.

"Do you ever wonder where, who, they are?"

"I used to, not so much anymore." Paine nodded. She couldn't believe she was talking to Rikku about this.

"You want to know what my biggest fear is?"

"Sure."

Rikku looked to her paisley purple comforter and her tanned hands. "I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to keep up with all of this, this stuff, and people will see me for who I am." She glanced at Paine who was watching her intently. "Like maybe then I will be forced to see the truth too."

"I've never seen you obsess over anything to crazy like most of these chicks."

"Not around you." Rikku smiled lightly. "You met me, and I was forced to show you who I was. There was no covering up." She chuckled remembering the look of pure annoyance on Paine's face as she looked between her and Auron that day.

"I like who you are." Paine couldn't help but say it. She had never met anyone like Rikku.

Rikku smiled and looked away shyly. "Yeah well, not everyone would. I have to be a certain way… You know what I mean?"

Paine nodded, "Is that why you wear so much frickin' pink?"

Rikku giggled. "Is that why you wear so much frickin' black? Like seriously do you own a yellow shirt?"

Paine made a face. "Why would I own a yellow shirt?"

"Yellow is like the best color." Rikku showed Paine her nails.

Paine shook her head. "Colors complicate things." Rikku burst out in laughter. "What?"

"Colors complicate things? Do you hear yourself right now? The only thing that complicates things is you, and besides colors are so expressive. Like if I wore a black shirt what would you think?"

"I'd think you were cool." Paine nodded with a little gin on her face.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "I'd think you were depressed."

"Well I'm not… I don't think." Paine joked.

"You just seem mad sometimes… what was wrong this morning?"

"I lost my glove—"

"Not a good enough excuse Paine."

Paine sighed. "Last night was just rough for me."

"Why?"

"I wasn't feeling well." Paine began picking at the bedspread. "Sometimes I don't feel good, and there is nothing I can do but… wait it out."

It took Rikku a minute of silence to understand what Paine was alluding to. She rubbed Paine's arm that was closest to her. "You're so strong." She said quietly.

Paine nodded lightly before glancing at Rikku. "Not really." She admitted.

Just then Rikku's room door knocked and then Leblanc popped her head in the door. "Rikku I'm sta— Oh, I didn't know… You had a guest." Leblanc noted how the two seemed comfortable; their faces were close as if they had been whispering. "You." Leblanc said recognizing the other girl now.

Paine quickly stood.

Rikku rolled her eyes and sat up. "Yes? Leblanc?"

Leblanc kept her eyes on Paine as she spoke. "I was just checking up on you, You know your father is working late."

"He works late every night."

"Right well, I just thought I would come by."

Rikku sighed heavily and looked over at Paine, who was gathering up her things quickly.

"Maybe I should go."

"It's late though." Rikku checked the time.

"I'll be okay."

"I'll walk you out." she realized that Paine wasn't going to change her mind. The two walked passed Leblanc and down the stairs. Leblanc followed them and watched the two from the top of the stairs.

"Are you gonna text me when you get home? Y'know so I know you didn't get mugged or something." Rikku asked as she watched Paine put on her shoes.

"Rikku, I'm a black belt…"

"So what does that mean? Do you have a bullet proof black belt?"

Paine chuckled. "No Princess."

"Exactly."

"Okay fine, I'll text you."

"Alright." Rikku smiled knowing that she won.

##

"Fucking cheater." Gippal groaned throwing the video game controller at the ground. He stood up and glared as Paine sat back in the sofa with the smuggest grin on her face. "Stop smiling, you fucking cheated!"

"How?" Paine questioned. She leaned further back into the spongy cushions and laughed as Gippal tried to come up with an excuse. "Because I'm just better?"

"No!" Gippal shook his head. "I'm not playin' this with you anymore."

Paine placed the controller down on the cluttered coffee table. "Good." She reached into her hoody to make sure she had her cell phone. "Let's go on the roof."

"Let me get my hoody." Gippal all too quickly agreed. He wanted to talk to Paine. He had heard that she went asking around and he felt bad for being the reason she went back there. He may have been angry, but he should have never let it get to the point where she felt the need to go places he knew she didn't feel comfortable.

"I'll grab a lighter." Paine said.

"So what happened to your hands?" Gippal asked as Paine passed him the joint.

Paine pulled her hoody over her head and shivered a little. Maybe she should have changed out of her basketball shorts. She stuffed her hands in her hoody pocket and exhaled. It was around five in the afternoon on Wednesday, tomorrow was the fashion show, and Friday was Gippal's party. Paine had one more exam and then she was free.

Free to start working practically full time.

She needed to bank the money, but the idea of working more hours than she was going to school annoyed Paine. The connection Elma had in the hospital didn't follow though, but they did refer Paine to a hospital deeper into the downtown district. She would have to take the train or the bus but that wasn't really an issue.

"I hit something." Paine mumbled.

"Okay why did you hit something?"

"I got a better question." Paine rested her arms over the cool railing and fixed her eyes on a few hoods on the corner of the block. "Why are you starting fights with Bart?"

"Why are you going to see Bart?"

"Why won't you answer my question?"

Gippal chuckled to himself, took one last hit and passed the spiff to Paine. He watched her press her lips together and slowly inhale. He had always found Paine pretty, but she was like his sister. No offense to her but he would never sleep with her.

Now Elma… Or his dream girl… That was another case entirely.

"I respect you?" Gippal shrugged. "I dunno man, look you don't wanna get in on what's going on. I would have told you, but you said you just didn't want to know anymore am I right?"

Paine shrugged as she made a small ring of smoke. Doing that had always amused her in the oddest way.

"Besides it's all squared away, we made up and everything. He and a few people are coming to the party Friday."

"So what's up with that?" She would accept his answer for now.

Gippal shrugged. "Fun times I'm predicting. I'm getting totally wasted. I don't work for like two days after it. You?"

Paine thought about it. "I don't know."

"Are you kidding me? Course you need to party hardcore Dr. P. I mean you don't have to do nothing but at least drink, you've locked yourself in your room with those textbooks all year, have some fun!"

"I do deserve a little fun huh?" Paine thought aloud. "But that's what my birthday is for."

Gippal got the silliest grin on his face. "Oh don't worry about that I've already got it all planned out."

"Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?"

"Because you know me."

The two laughed. It grew quiet and Paine found herself thinking about Rikku and Baralai. She had to defiantly say something about Rikku and how she knew her. It would come out soon enough. Baralai was something else. Baralai wasn't some chick that Gippal wanted to sleep with or marry or have babies with or whatever. Baralai and Gippal went back, way back. This only complicated things.

"Do you need help on Friday?" Paine asked anyway. She wasn't sure how or when to bring up Lai, and seeing as how they hadn't spoke at all since Monday, Paine didn't feel rushed.

"Yeah." Gippal smiled. "Come by Lap and we'll walk over together."

Paine nodded. When the two returned into the apartment Wakka was in the kitchen washing an apple. "Ay Dr. Love, I hear you gonna be a fashion model ya?"

"What?" Paine asked, she glanced at Gippal. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Nooj." Wakka shrugged. Paine walked into the living room where Nooj had his feet up.

"Dr. P." He greeted.

"What's this nonsense Paine?" Gippal came into the living room. "The Besadian is going on about you being in a fashion show."

Paine shrugged. "It's for charity."

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Gippal began to laugh.

Paine shoved him. "Shut up."

Nooj couldn't hold his laughter in anymore. "I'm just hurt you didn't invite us."

Paine groaned.

##

"You're the makeup artist?" Paine asked as she entered the crowded room. Lulu stood leaned over one of the other models applying eye shadow. "You don't have a problem with this?" Lulu asked as she kept her eyes on her work.

Paine plopped herself down on a nearby chair. It was around 5 and Paine had just arrived and was sent to make up. "Nope."

"Good." Lulu said she pulled away from the girl and examined her face. "Don't cry, sneeze, or even think about touching your face until the show is over." The baby faced looking student model nodded. "I'm done you can leave and go see Yuna." She got out of the makeup chair and hurried out of the room.

Rikku looked down at the dress she planned on wearing to the fashion show laid out on her bed. It was a gray, Vena Cava "Needle Punch Dress". It was one of Rikku's favorites, and along with her black pumps it would be just classy enough for the evening. She asked if Yuna needed any help but the brunette had declined her offer, she and Lulu would be more than enough. This was good for Rikku because she found herself obsessing over what she wanted to wear for the better part of the evening.

Now all she needed was her date.

##

Paine found herself in a completely different world. It was around 6 and the show would be starting soon. In the past hour she witnessed several girls getting nervous and running to get sick in the bathroom along with the other girls who were obsessing over how Lulu had "transformed" them.

There were hangers of clothes in several areas of the backstage room. Lulu had assigned Paine an area earlier and she was waiting for Yuna to come over and do a quick walkthrough.

"Paine." Paine turned around. "Wow you look really pretty." Tidus looked a little at a loss of words. Paine sighed, she was still wearing her sweats and plain white shirt but her makeup and hair hand been done. Lulu had decided to give her a gothic styled make up, which Paine just thought looked like "stripper eyes," with all the eye shadow. She did have to admit that Lulu did know what she was doing. They barely said a word to one another while she was doing her makeup, which was good because it seemed they were both preoccupied.

Tidus had his hair parted and was wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks. He was holding a bouquet of flowers. He smiled and pulled a few of the flowers out and handed them to Paine. "You look like you're going to a funeral." Paine thanked.

"You look like you're in the funeral." Tidus smiled saying that she was welcomed. "Have you seen Yuna? I wanted to wish her good luck."

Paine shrugged. "I was waiting for her actually."

"Oh, have you seen it out there? It's like the whole school is here. I heard they had to turn people away."

"Thanks Tidus." Paine rolled her eyes. She wasn't nervous, Paine Kerrigan didn't get nervous damnit.

"Excuse me sir, you can't be back here—" Yuna came over looking a little flustered. Her usually well kept brown hair was in messy bits and it looked like she had someone's tears stained onto her shirt. She had a walkie-talkie strapped to her hip and was holding a clip board. "Tidus? What happened to you?" She asked a little surprised to see him standing there looking all dressed up.

Tidus chuckled and held out the flowers. "I wanted to surprise you and wish you good luck."

Yuna blushed while taking the flowers. "Thank you." She smelt them and leaned forward to place a little kiss on Tidus' cheek. "Now you have to leave."

Tidus's face fell but he nodded. "This is so awesome, good luck Paine, Yuna." He smiled before running off.

"Aww" Paine teased.

Yuna chuckled. "I see you got flowers too."

"Ha." Paine put the flowers aside. "Okay so which one are we doing first?"

"Alright, I need you to change into _Modified Trainer_. Remember that the shoes go in ascending order."

Paine nodded and reached toward her clothing rack.

"Are you nervous?" Yuna asked. "I kind of left you alone some girl was threatening to call her lawyer for something." She shook her head.

Paine nodded. "Yeah, it's just… A little crazy back here."

Yuna nodded with a smile. "The bizz. I haven't heard from Rikku but I hear she's bringing a date."

"A date?" Paine raised an eyebrow.

Yuna shrugged. "That's what Lulu said. Anyway look change into this and be ready to start in 15." Yuna disappeared soon after making sure all of Paine's outfits were in the right order.

##

Rikku smiled happily as she fixed Baralai's bow tie. "Don't you look dapper."

"Why thank you, you look beautiful as always."

Rikku smiled at him. "Okay so I don't think you can go back there so I'm going to go wish Paine some good luck. Find our seats dear." Rikku chuckled handing him her black clutch.

Baralai nodded and walked off. The whole event was being held inside the indoor stadium. It was the only place that could hold so many people and have enough room for the back stage. As Rikku maneuvered through the crowd of people mingling and looking for their seats, In the background was some technoy version of a Lady Ginem song. Rikku hummed to herself as she pushed passed people to get to the backstage entrance.

"Are you nervous? I'm nervous." The junior with short hair dressed in a _songstress _outfit asked Paine.

Paine shrugged. "I will be once we start." She said honestly. "I've never done this before."

"Are you kidding? This is my fifth show with Lulu and I'm still nervous. It's a rush, a high."

"Excuse me Ms. Kerrigan, may I have your autograph?" Someone asked while tapping on Paine's shoulder. Paine turned and her eyes widened a little and her tongue felt heavy, making words impossible "I'm your biggest fan." Rikku grinned.

Paine blinked a few times. "Hi." She managed.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Rikku had her hair down cascading over her shoulders, no bead or braid in sight. She was about Paine's usual height with her heels on and her makeup extenuated her sparkling green eyes. "You look…" Paine swallowed. "You…" She tried again.

"Paine, hands!" Lulu called walking over with some cover up and a brush.

Paine rolled her eyes and put her hands out. Lulu greeted Rikku but was only focused on getting Paine's knuckles to look as normal as possible. When she was done she left in a rush. It was getting closer the start time and she was doing last minute touch ups.

"_You_ look so nice Pai." Rikku smiled. "You're going to be amazing."

Paine nodded. "Thank you."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little." Paine admitted looking around. "I was laughing at the other girls getting sick, but now… I don't know."

Rikku chuckled at the little nervous look on her face. "You'll be fine, just remember to keep walking and don't look at anyone, look past them. You'll be fine. How are your hands?"

Paine tried to take a breath to easy her oncoming nerves. "Better, Lulu's has been caking on make up for the past hour."

"Places!"

"Oh that's you, okay well I'll be right back here when it's done," Rikku smiled and hesitated slightly. "I don't wanna get my lipstick on you…"

"Places!"

"Okay okay, bye you look amazing, bye bye!" Then just like that Rikku was gone.

##

"… When Professor Helena Nora asked my partner Yuna Shaw and I to create this year's Spring to Summer fashion show. We both knew right away what we wanted to do. The theme is from Ancient Spiraian day's where sphere technology was the main source for all the worlds needs, including clothing. The Dress sphere was predominantly used by Sphere Hunters, one of the only occupations women were accepted to do. This is a tribute to the brave women who we owe many of our luxuries to today. We call this collection, _Modified_. At the end of the show the outfits will be auctioned off to a plethora of local and national charities. Donations will also be accepted. So, without further delay…" Lulu nodded off to someone and the lights dimmed. "Modified."

The music started and then the lights focused on the catwalk.

"This is so exciting." Rikku beamed as the loud remix of Lady Ginem's Just Dance began to play.

Paine couldn't see her, but Paine concluded that this was probably a good thing. As soon as she stepped out she wanted to run back in, she wasn't used to so much attention, the flashing lights. It was almost too much. Paine tried to remember all Yuna had taught her. She would be lying if she said she hadn't stayed up later than usual practicing her "walk." It was over faster than she thought. And she was back backstage in a rush to strip down to her underwear and into her next outfit.

"That was really great!" Yuna cheered as she ran by to fix something. Paine had to admit that she liked having someone back here on her side. Yuna had been a great help.

By the third outfit she had defiantly gotten used to it. It was all about timing. "Yuna a little help?" Paine called as she rushed to put on her last outfit.

"Of course." Yuna came over and helped Paine by buckling some of the many straps and buckles. "This looks so perfect on you." Yuna nodded as she helped Paine's left hand into the elbow length gloves. Paine nodded and was about to run off. "Wait don't forget your prop!"

"Prop?" Paine asked looking back at Yuna. "Holy shit is this that thing real?"

"It's a replication; this one is a lot lighter than the actual sword. Uh, but yes, don't swing it or anything you might take off a head." Yuna nodded at her after thought.

"I hope the guns aren't real." Paine chuckled as the girl in front of her yet again dropped her prop guns.

"Heavens no." Yuna shook her head and disappeared. Paine adjusted her prop over her shoulder and swallowed hard. She was praying that she didn't fall out of this thing and flash the entire student body.

The catwalk lights began to flicker and Brittney Sphere's Hold It Against Me began to play

"Oh wow." Tidus said as Paine strutted out. She was the last model to come out during the final walk.

"I wouldn't mind being a fiend if that's what I saw before I died." Baralai nodded.

Thank Yevon almighty for front row seats. Rikku's eyes were wide and fixated on how when Paine walked, the buckled shorts rode up a little revealing more thigh, and how her leg muscles flexed ever so slightly. Rikku couldn't help it. She leaned a little forward in her seat when Paine adjusted the sword on her shoulder.

_**If I said I want your body now. Would you hold it against me?**_

Rikku hoped not.

The outfit might as well have been painted on. Those couldn't even pass as shorts! There were basically two pieces of similar sized leather buckled to Paine's body and held their by her curves. Rikku didn't even think twice before checking out Paine's ass as she walked by.

Paine turned her back at to the crowd at the end of the catwalk and glanced over her bare shoulder.

Yuna deserved the cousin of the year award for designing this.

As soon as Paine disappeared the entire audience stood and cheered.

**AN: So I didn't get as many reviews as I did last time on the last chapter :( Something tells me that's going to change though. Tell me what you think of this chappy! It was fun to write for sure, and I think I re-wrote just about every scene twice lol. Go look up pictures of Paine's warrior DresShpere... I mean dayum. ;)  
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**Review Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Overwhelming

That's what it was.

You would think growing up in such a large city would make her used to crowds.

Crowds weren't the real issue; you could disappear yet still be seen. Paine liked that.

This was different.

This made her feel a little uneasy.

The entire crowd wanted to talk to her.

Fresh from a changing room Paine thought herself completely underdressed for the occasion. She didn't recognize any of these people claiming to go to her school. She didn't want to recognize them.

After pushing past most of them, mumbling past the others, and glaring at few pushy ones, Paine was finally able to take a breath.

"Y'know, I remember when you didn't have boobs."

Paine rolled her eyes at Baralai as he approached her. "That bow tie looks ridiculous." They were still backstage but now there was a small clearing separating them from the fashion obsessed crowds.

Lai chuckled and adjusted his bowtie. "My date doesn't seem to think so. Really amazing out there, people are talking." He put his hands into his tailored suit pockets and smiled proudly.

"Don't they always talk?" Paine looked behind them at the crowd of needy people suffocating both Yuna and Lulu as the two tried to leave.

"You don't believe me?" Lai shook his head. "You were great, I mean it."

Paine focused her attention back on him. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt, and a navy bowtie. His feathery white hair was combed and he looked like a proper gentleman. He looked so grown up dressed like this. She didn't know how she felt about that. "Why are you here?"

Baralai shrugged. "To support you and Lulu." Baralai seemed to be debating over something in his head. "What are you doing after this?"

Paine thought it over while she pretended not to look for someone. "Nothing, I was going to go home, enjoy the night in, and rest before G—" She stopped herself. Maybe she shouldn't mention Gippal so soon.

"How about I buy you a drink."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "You're date wouldn't mind?"

"No actually I'm quite sleepy, and unlike some people, I have more finals tomorrow." Rikku approached the two and smiled at Paine.

Paine smiled at Rikku before realizing what she had said. She turned to look at Lai who nodded briefly. "Oh, let me say Hi to Lulu really quickly. Don't leave."

"Don't leave he says." Paine shook her head and then looked back at Rikku.

"You did so well!" She beamed. "You looked good doing it too, I mean I thought— everyone thought so." Rikku nodded again for good measure.

"Thank you." Paine chuckled. "So, what's the couple name for you and Lai?"

Rikku smirked lightly. "Everyone I wanted to ask was busy."

"Shame." Paine looked around them briefly then back to Rikku. "You clean up nice Bayla."

"Ah this ol' thing?" Rikku shrugged after doing a little pose.

"Took you all day to pick it out didn't it?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah." The two shared a small laugh. Then some silence. "You look nice." Paine said a little quietly.

"You did amazing."

"You said that already." Paine teased.

"Were you scared?"

Paine shrugged. "Scared no? Nervous that one of those buckles would come loose? Yes."

Rikku laughed. "Yeah, that would have been bad. Yunie is good though, I just spoke to her she says she was really impressed with you, some guy gave her his card for you."

Paine shook her head no and said that she didn't think she would like to make anything out of this. It was for charity and that's the only reason she did it. "Sleepy?" Rikku asked when Rikku caught Paine trying to hide a yawn.

Paine nodded. "Lai wants to get drinks but I'm so tired." She rubbed her eyes lightly wondering how on earth she was so tired; she only walked up and down a catwalk for a little.

"I think it's just finals week catching up to you."

"Could be." Paine ran a hand through her hair which was washed and free of product, leaving in to fall in its natural manner about her face. "You have some tomorrow?"

"Yeah I do, just two then I'm free. What are you doing all day?"

"I'm helping Gippal with the party." Paine bit the inside of her mouth in thought. "You'll be there right?"

"Yunie and I for sure, I don't know if she has talked to Tidus yet."

"Oh." Paine was just about to ask how telling Yuna and her father was coming along when Baralai came back.

"So, ladies?"

Rikku shook her head no. "I have tests and I think Paine is too tired."

Lai frowned. "Oh, alright then. Shall I take you home then my dear?" He jested asking Rikku.

Paine rolled her eyes.

"Sure thing. Bring the car around will you?"

"Okay." Lai smiled and glanced at Paine. "You sure no drinks, I'm buying."

"Maybe some other time." Baralai nodded and then left toward the exit. "You guys are cute."

Rikku giggled. "This is really bothering you."

Paine shrugged. "No, not at all."

"Uhuh. So does this mean I have your blessing?"

"Of course… Not."

Rikku laughed and rested a hand on Paine's arm. "I'll text you later kay?"

Her touch had this way of paralyzing Paine's thoughts. "Tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Paine nodded. Rikku smiled and then sauntered off to find her "date". Paine shook her head at the notion of Rikku and Baralai. It didn't upset her like Auron and Rikku together, it just made her feel funny; like sugar free cookies. There was no point to it but to annoy Paine.

##

Rikku bit at her eraser.

Maybe if she stared the question down it would forfeit the answer.

She narrowed her eyes and waited.

45 minutes later she turned in her last final of the year and smiled. No school for at least three and a half months.

Rikku pulled her cell phone out and her smile only grew when she saw the text she missed during her exam.

_**Good Luck Princess**_

It was from Paine.

Rikku shot her a text back and sighed. Okay, so there were no more questions, she liked Paine. She was pretty sure Paine liked her just a little bit.

Right?

She had to like her just a little bit.

Rikku furrowed a brow at her thoughts as she pushed open the door to the academic building. The warmth from the sun kissed her check and her mood brightened ever more as she made her way through the quad. Summer was well on its way.

She was excited for tonight. She hadn't really been to a club since this whole Auron situation started. She wanted to dance, and drink, and be young for a little longer before she had to deal with her truths.

She wondered what Paine would wear, and then stopped herself. All she could think about was last night, and it was really starting to become maladaptive. After Baralai had dropped her off she returned to the lonely house and took the coldest shower of her life.

And then she began to cram for her finals today.

Rikku was proud of Paine mostly. If she were to put a name to what she felt it was pride. She hadn't known Paine for a long time but Rikku felt like she knew all she could for right now, and for Paine to do the fashion show made her proud to know her; proud to be her friend.

Rikku pulled out her cell phone to call Yuna. They were meeting up later today to hang out a little before they even thought about getting ready for the club "Yunie."

"Hey Rikku, are you done?"

"Yup!" She held the phone close to her ear as she passed a particularly loud group of students. She was on her way to the student parking lot. "I think I did okay, what are you up to?"

"I'm just going through some stills from the show. You know Xander right?"

"Weird guy with the hat?"

"That's the one." Yuna chuckled. "He's actually quite the photographer."

"Cool. Ooh hold on I'm getting a text."

"Mhm."

"I'm back, it was just Paine."

"_Just_ Paine?" Yuna asked. She was in her room on her laptop looking at more pictures from the fashion show. It had gotten way more press than she anticipated and the paper wanted a few pictures. "Hey, do you think would mind her picture in the paper?"

"Ooh I don't know, I would have to ask."

"Can you? I need an answer before four today. The paper wants to do an article on the fashion show."

"The New Luca Times?"

"That's the one."

"Wow, Yunie this is awesome!" Rikku debated stopping at Jambi juice before getting to her car but she decided against it. The manager was there, and he didn't like her too much.

Rikku rolled her eyes with a little grin. She waved at the girl behind the register as she walked by.

"I know this is big."

"It's gonna look great on your resume."

"Yup, Lulu has already been talking to people; they came to the show and loved it."

"Everyone had a good time."

"She's been getting calls to do another charity one. It's amazing!"

"Did your Pops say congrats?"

Yuna sighed. "I came home and there were flowers."

"Yeah apparently winning that case didn't mean much, they're right back at it." Rikku sympathized. "Ooh what about Teedus?"

"Rikku."

Rikku laughed. "Tidus, he looked all handsome for you."

"He did, it was a sweet surprise."

"Can he come tonight?"

"Yeah, are you excited?"

Rikku tried to play it off. "Psh yeah, I guess."

Yuna laughed. "Alright cool guy. Listen I have to work on this, don't forget to ask Paine about the picture thing, and I'll see you later hm?"

"Right, bye Yunz."

"Bye Rikku."

Rikku made it to her car. (She double checked that it was hers first) and got in and closed the door. She scrolled through her phone and pulled the phone to her ear once she made her selection.

"Paine."

"Rikku?"

Paine paused then laughed lightly. "Hey Rikks."

"Hey, so listen I have to ask you a couple questions."

"…Okay."

Rikku began adjusting her mirrors as she spoke. "Yunie was approached by The Times; they wanna do an article on the show. She wants to know if she could use a picture of you. Y'know since you were wearing her thesis piece and all." Paine was quiet in thought. "May I just add that she has worked her whole short life for this and it would be pretty shitty if you—"

Paine laughed. "Fine whatever, tell her I said yes."

"Yay!"

"That it?"

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"No I just don't want you to guilt me into anything else, you're good at it."

"Did you put that ointment on your hands?"

"Yes, this morning."

"What should I wear tonight?"

Paine sighed. "Rikku, I don't know. Ask Yuna, it's she majoring in this?"

"She had to go." Rikku pouted. She turned to her left to adjust the driver side mirror and get some gum from the door compartment when she noticed someone was standing by her door looking right at her. She jumped making a surprised noise.

"You alright?" Paine asked. At a distance she could see Gippal approaching. He looked upset.

Rikku glared at the person behind the glass window. "Yeah. I gotta go."

"Alright I'll see you tonight then?"

Her heart rate increased as she looked around to see no one else in the full parking lot. "Pai…"

"Yeah?"

"Never mind."

"Sure?" She sounded a little off to Paine.

He mouthed "roll down the window."

"Yeah. I'll see you."

"Alright, bye."

##

"Then… Hold this," Gippal handed Paine a box. He watched Paine struggle for a second before gaining her balance, then went back to the story on why they were stocking the bar instead of the club owner.

"Gippal this makes no sense."

"The guy is an asshole, he said one thing, did another, so now I said one thing and I'm going to do another." Gippal still had his black chef pants on, but was wearing a red hoody.

"Have you ever heard that two wrongs don't make a right?" She asked as she watched Gippal pull more boxes out of a shady white van that had just pulled up. The driver didn't even bother to get out or anything.

"Yeah but two rights don't make a left."

Paine thought about it for a second and then shook her head. "So we are making a left?"

"Course we are, right there on 4th, Taboo is about a block away from there." Gippal grinned as he tapped the truck and the driver pulled out. He bent down and picked up the three boxes he had placed on the side of the muddy street. "But uh, you're gonna have to lead cause I can't see over these things."

##

She rolled her window down slightly. "What?"

"Fancy seeing you here."

"You are standing next to my car Auron, there is nothing fancy about this."

It was funny how quick her mood could change.

"Was that Ms. Kerrigan on the phone?"

"None of your business." Rikku put her keys in the ignition.

"I wish you would just give in." Rikku said nothing. "Anyway I wanted to personally hand you this. Leblanc says she has seen Paine over the house. I thought since you two were so close you could give her this for me." Auron pulled out a sealed envelope and slid it through the crack in the window.

Rikku caught it and then glared at him. "It's not anthrax is it?"

Auron chuckled. "Not my style."

##

She loved coming in here when she was high.

The reflection of the many different colored glass always had caught and held her attention. If it were day, the liquor bottles at O'akka's Imports reminded Paine of the stained glass windows of church the homeless crack addicts slept in down near the river. If it were night, the few floor lights lit the bottles up and made the entire store feel like you were surrounded by pyre flies.

Of course that was when she was high.

Right now they just looked like regularly over prized bottles of liquor.

It was strange, she wasn't sure if Gippal had noticed but she hadn't been in here since last year.

He was at the front register shamelessly flirting with the girl at the register while he waited for O'akka to return. Apparently they worked out a deal prior to their arrival.

She didn't know how but she wasn't surprised to find out that Gippal was getting free booze. He could buy from an addict and sell it right back to them for a higher price. He was just that good when he wanted to be.

Paine was aimlessly walking around the store. She started reading the labels of the bright florescent colored liquids, and then slowly she went to what she had really been thinking about.

Rikku.

Gippal liked her.

Gippal also had a penis.

Paine pressed her lips together as she pretended to read a bottle's label.

But Rikku didn't like Gippal

Everyone said that when they first met him though.

He was allowed to like her.

But since when did Paine follow the rules?

She had a way of looking at Paine that made her feel…

She made her feel.

In her efforts to stay away from her past, Paine had created new numbness in her schoolwork. She had a plan and was focused. It was like running errands.

She was just on her way to the bank and got into a car accident or something. The car in front of her just happen to be Rikku's.

Things had changed.

She wasn't sure how, or when, or why but they had. She had nothing on her plate and now she had all of this to consume. Paine glanced over the short isles to see Gippal and O'akka talking.

It felt good to have Rikku out in the crowd cheering her on at the fashion show. It also felt silly to read too much into that. It was her cousins fashion show, her cousin and her weird friend, Lulu.

Paine shook her head at how she had been trying to find other words to describe Lulu other than "bitch."

Then there were the texts. They had been doing that a lot lately. Last night when Rikku got home she texted her, and it made Paine sleep a little easier. She couldn't explain it if she tried.

Did Rikku even like her?

She knew the blonde liked her, but… like that? Did she think about her like Paine found herself thinking about her? Or was it just infatuation? Was it an escape from the things she had to deal with?

Paine just didn't know.

'Ay Dr. P, gimmie a hand." Gippal called.

##

Paine stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"What do ya think?" Gippal grinned as he poured himself a drink behind the bar that they spent all afternoon stocking.

The VIP section in Taboo was off to the right and overlooked the main dance floor. A bunch of cream colored lounge seats adored the room and the walls were a deep blue and the floors a deep reddish brown tile. Behind the bar where Gippal was standing was electrical wiring that connected the many blue lights in the VIP area.

They weren't turned on yet though.

Paine sat on one of the stools and leaned forward. "Not bad, the juice boxes are a nice touch."

Gippal grinned. "Ah, you know it."

"So, any word on who is actually coming?" Paine asked, she was setting up the talk that they needed to have. It had been fun running around with Gippal all day, but she would be lying if she said she was fully in it.

Gippal took a sip of his drink then nodded. He passed it to Paine who took a sip. "Christ Gip." She winced. "You trying to get hammered before the sun even goes down?"

"Too strong?" Paine nodded. "Damn… What kind of drinks do uptown ladies like?"

Paine took another sip of the dark cloudy beverage just to make sure she wasn't over reacting. She made a face again and handed it back to Gippal. "You don't even need to slip a roofy in there." She choked out.

Gippal laughed then poured the drink out and set to make a new one. "Cid's girl, y'know the leggy blonde? She's coming for sure. I ran into her cousin the other day at the market again and she confirmed it."

Paine's smile dropped. She watched Gippal make the drink again. "You are making her a drink? With Jager? She hates black lickerish flavored things." Paine remembered how Rikku picked all the black jelly beans out of a pack she bought from a vending machine on their way to Auron's class.

Gippal nodded then froze and looked at Paine. "How do you know?"

Paine scratched the back of her head. "Well y'know, Rikku Bayla right? I think I know her."

"Uhuh…" Gippal watched Paine get nervous, which was rare.

"She has a class of mine, well _had_, since the semester is up."

"You choose to tell me this now! Damnit Dr. P this is great!"

"Is it?" Paine asked looking a little apprehensive at her friend.

"Duh." Gippal stepped away from the bar and motioned for her to go behind it. "Get behind there and make me a drink that knocks her off her pretty little feet." Paine slowly got up and went behind the bar. "Man this couldn't get any better; you can be my wingman, wingwoman." He corrected himself with a laugh. Gippal jumped up. "I'm so getting laid tonight." He began doing a little victory dance.

Paine glanced from pouring cranberry juice to Gippal.

##

Yuna shook her head making a face.

"No? Why no?"

"Rikku that skirt… Wait are you sure that's a skirt and not one of your headbands?"

Rikku stuck her tongue out and adjusted the skirt on her before realizing she was probably right. She ducked back into her walk in closet. "Oh! Did I tell you she said yes about the pictures?"

"Mhm." Yuna nodded she was looking through a magazine Rikku had open on her bed when she arrived. It was around 7 and she was waiting on Tidus to show up now, oh and for Rikku to pick an outfit already.

"I mean…"

Yuna rolled her eyes with a little smile as her cousin proceeded to talk to herself.

She did that when she was nervous.

##

"Would you just shut up already?" Paine asked Gippal in frustration.

It was around 9:30 and the two were on their way to Taboo. They had set everything up and then went home to change. Gippal was wearing some loose jeans and a white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He looked at Paine a little confused. "The hell is wrong with you?"

Paine adjusted her leather jacket and shrugged. She was wearing her heeled boots, skinny jeans, and a deep purple top and her jacket. She had put on light makeup and styled her hair in its usual up do. There was a slight chill in the air that caused her to dip her hands further in her pockets.

It was Friday night and as they moved the bustling crowds of an uptown forum Paine could feel the energy in everything. "Nothing, it's just annoying."

"Me talking about girls never bothered you before." Gippal observed. He had shaved and just about bathed in cologne. Paine was hopping the smell would wear off before they got indoors.

This was true. Paine never really cared much for Gippal's rambling about which hot chick he was going to bang next. It was only because this was Rikku that she had become annoyed.

"Yeah well, I know this one this time."

"You knew Dona."

"You didn't fuck Dona, Gippal." Paine actually laughed.

"I almost did!"

"Don't let Bart hear you say that tonight." She warned.

"Psh." Gippal shook his head and then spit. "So I have to play nice tonight? Fine I will just for you, but once The Panty Dropper you made kicks in, I'm no longer responsible."

He so classily named the drink Paine made for Rikku _The Panty Dropper_.

Paine rolled her eyes for the fifteenth hundredth time. "She doesn't like you."

"If she's talked about me that means I made a lasting impression."

Paine sighed.

##

The music was loud. You could feel the base rattle your core and make you apart of the music.

Paine was buzzed.

She wasn't sure what time it was but from the view from the VIP section Gippal bought out with Lap-Pig money, you could see that Taboo was well under way. They were running some Friday night special at the regular bar that had all the ladies in the crowd tipsy and careless.

Taboo was one of the most popular neutral clubs. There was no specific genera of music being played, which meant you attracted a crowd of nonspecifics. There were hoods and preps and college students and dealers and addicts of every variety. Paine knew who they were; she knew how to find them and knew what things cost. It never bothered her much till now.

Was that really the person she had been?

Sometimes she found herself thinking that and wondering what it had been like. She honestly couldn't remember the details of the day to day life she lived. She remembered fighting a lot, she remembered waking up and wondering what the hell had happened the night before. But she could not for the life of her remember dates, or conversations. At least not when things were getting real bad, She had been clean for a year and some change and had yet to really think about the details. She didn't see the point in that.

"Dr. P." Gippal came over with a tipsy grin on his face. Paine couldn't help but smile.

"What?"

"Where's your girl?" He asked curiously looking around them and pointing off to the dance floor. "She hasn't shown up yet."

Paine nodded, she hadn't noticed or at least she hoped her shrug said so.

The VIP area was packed with randoms. Gippal just didn't give a fuck and let everyone who wanted to come in, come in. Paine had noticed Dona and her friends arrived. Even Bart gave her a head nod, Shuyin his little minion said nothing of course. The short straggly dirty blonde never really said much. His icy blue eyes had locked on her once or twice but that was it. "How you doin'?" Gippal then asked a little quieter.

"I'm fine."

"Let's go have some drinks." Gippal put an arm around her shoulders and led her to the bar. Paine tensed at the touch and Gippal removed his arm looking a little sheepish. "I for—"

"It's okay." Paine mumbled.

##

"Ladies, ladies." Gippal grinned when Yuna and Rikku finally arrived.

Gippal kissed Yuna's hand and got nice glare from Tidus who had just arrived from checking her coat. Gippal ignored it smiled at Rikku and reached for her hand.

"Is he drunk?" Rikku asked Yuna with a chuckle.

"I'm glad you both came, please get some drinks." Gippal nodded and then disappeared.

"I'm ready to get my dance on, how about you Yunie?" Rikku asked as she sauntered over to the VIP private bar. The music was loud and the club was dark. Rikku was ready to just forget everything and dance. She had been to Taboo once last year but never in the VIP lounge.

Yuna nodded. She looked around and saw Paine. She nudged Rikku who had automatically been given a drink by the bartender.

"There's Paine and Wakka." Yuna leaned close to Rikku's ear for the blonde to be able to hear.

Rikku looked up to where Yuna was pointing. She could make out Paine's slender shadow. Her back was to them and seemed to be laughing with a drink in her hand. Wakka was grinning. Just then some shorter woman came up behind Paine and put her hands to cover her eyes.

"Hm." Yuna noticed this to and then looked to Rikku who was watching and drinking her drink faster.

"Um… Em?" Paine guessed.

"Yup!" Elma brought her hands away from Paine's face and grinned.

Wakka chuckled. "She's had a few to drink back at da house ya?" He explained Elma's giggly behavior.

Paine chuckled and looked at her roommate. "Good mood?"

"Very. I just spent the last fifteen minutes dancing with some hottie." Elma grabbed Paine's hand and brought her to the railing. She pointed to the thick crowd of people. "That's him!"

Paine squinted. From this height everyone looked the same, especially when the multiple strobe lights moved away from them creating a sea of darkness. Elma jumped a little at Paine's side.

"Do you see him?"

Paine shook her head no. She looked at Elma and got worried for a second when she noticed her usually onyx eyes could not focus on her. "Did you just get here?"Paine asked.

Elma shook her head no. "I got off work, went home… then pre-gamed with Walker." She explained in her Elma sort of way.

"Wakka ya."

Paine nodded trying to catch her eye. "Are you alright though?"

"Yeah." Elma nodded happily. Just then Paine could feel someone come behind her. "I'll leave you two alone."

Paine turned to see Dona ghostly gray eyes gleaming at her. She nodded to Elma. "Look at you, out and about." Dona commented.

Paine tried not to notice how little she was wearing. She glanced off to her right to see Bart watching them very closely. She took a sip of her drink. "I don't think your brother likes you talking to me." She commented.

Dona rolled her eyes. "He doesn't really like me talking to anyone." Dona glanced at him and sent him a glare. The quick turn caused her long raven hair to brush against Paine's arm. She had taken off her leather jacket and put it behind the bar a while back. "How are you though? To be honest I didn't think you'd be here. If I knew I may have come alone." Paine rolled her eyes. "Don't do that." Dona chided.

"Do what?"

"Pretend you never knew me."

"Is that what I was doing?" In the back of Paine's mind she was wondering when Rikku would get there.

Dona smiled slyly revealing her white teeth. "Come now Dr. P. How long has it been?"

Paine took another sip of her drink. "Since?"

"Since you turned me out?"

Rikku watched as the Amazonia looking woman got more into Paine's personal space. Yuna and Tidus were too busy chatting away with Wakka to notice her noticing.

So this was how she really was? In the past ten minutes two different women approached Paine and she seemed perfectly okay with how they acted around her.

Rikku didn't know why she all of a sudden felt jealous. She had been here for at least 10 minutes and Paine hadn't noticed her yet.

She looked cute tonight damnit!

Rikku shook her head of the thoughts. She was being ridiculous; they were friends for crying out loud!

Paine's drink had gone dry and she frowned. She couldn't handle Dona sober or drunk; it just brought back too many memories. None of which she felt good about.

"Has your drink run out?" Dona asked kindly.

"I thought you came with someone." Paine nodded when Dona took her cup from her.

Dona shrugged. "You know how these Borough boys lack stamina." She sauntered off toward the bar and Paine turned around and leaned her arms on the railing and watched the sea of people on the dance floor below. Dona wasn't the bad one here; she was just doing what she knew. Sure she was a bit bitchy, but really everyone was. She had known a different Paine. She couldn't blame her for her problems. Paine rubbed her face lightly. She wasn't drunk enough to be thinking about this stuff.

Rikku turned in her seat when she saw the taller girl walking over with Paine's empty cup.

"Dona." The bartender smiled. "What can I get ya?"

Dona squeezed between Rikku and someone else sitting at the bar. Her larger breasts were practically in Rikku's face. "Get Dr. P the same as before, a little stronger though." She handed him her cup. "I'll have the special too, what's it called again?"

"The Panty Dropper."

"That's the one, those things are tasty." The bartender was quick. "Thanks." Rikku watched out of the corner of her eye as she returned to Paine who took the drink and took a few large gulps.

Paine shook her head at something Dona said. She could feel the buzz passing for tipsy. "I don't dance."

"You do, I've seen you."

"How drunk and or high was I?"

Dona thought about and let a rare honest laugh escape her lips. "Pretty drunk now that I think about it."

"I don't think, that we should ever…" Paine was trying to find the right words to tell her that whatever friends with benefits thing they had going over a year ago was never going to happen. She wasn't that person anymore and the more she hung around Dona the more she felt like that person. Dona pressed a slender finger to Paine's lips silencing her.

"Never say never." She smirked before walking off. Paine watched her go. She wiped her mouth firmly. She really didn't like people touching her and now that her inhibitions were lowered, her compulsions had risen.

Maybe she shouldn't have come.

Paine sighed and turned around to see Rikku staring right at her. Paine let up a smile but it dropped when she noticed the look on the blondes face. She began walking toward the little group when she noticed Gippal come over to Rikku and whisper something to her. The blonde nodded and then stood.

Rikku was just starting to feel the effects of the three Panty Droppers that she had gone through since her arrival. She didn't even have to order another. This bartender guy kept changing her empty glass with a full one.

Rikku kept eye contact with Paine as she adjusted her top and looked to Gippal for his arm.

They were playing her favorite song.

##

It had been like that all night and Paine was starting to wonder why she was even here. She didn't want to drink anymore, she was already drunk, she didn't want to dance, and she didn't want to talk to anyone. She did however, feel like kicking Gippal's ass. She swore if he let his hand wonder one more time she would break it herself.

Rikku swore she was going to have a sore neck with how many times she had turned to look at Paine that night. She sat close to Gippal with his arm carelessly thrown over her shoulder as they talked about…

What were they talking about again?

Rikku brought her attention back to Gippal. She was drunk; she knew this because somehow she thought he looked somewhat decent in this light.

What light?

The VIP section was just as dim as the rest of the club. She had danced with him, and pretended to laugh at his jokes all to bother Paine.

Childish?

Oh very much so, Rikku knew this. She was drunk remember? Those Panty Droppers really did a number on her reasoning skills.

His arm was too heavy though, and his cologne too strong, he felt foreign yet familiar. It was strange, and not the good kind of strange like when Paine called her Princess.

Yuna seemed to think so too. She had pulled Rikku aside a number of times to ask if she was okay.

Rikku watched as that Dona character came over to Paine and let her hand slide across her back, Paine grabbed it and looked at her.

"Don't touch me." Paine all but growled.

Dona pulled her hand back and smiled while crossing her arms. "There she is."

Paine stood and motioned to the bartender. He moved and got her jacket. She slipped it on as she got up and began to walk off. Dona, already used to Paine's moody ways simply turned around and continued talking to her friend.

"Ay Dr. P! Where ya goin'?" Gippal asked from his spot on the couch beside Rikku.

Paine slowed her stride down to a stop and looked at them, shook her head and then continued walking.

"Hey!" Gippal called after her. He knew that look. Gippal got up and walked after Paine. Rikku stood and watched as he grabbed Paine's shoulder and she turned around and pushed him away from her. She couldn't see the look on Gippal's face, oh but the look on Paine's clearly.

The two stared each other down and Gippal let Paine leave. He turned and picked at the hem of his shirt then walked over to the bar and turned Dona around and pointed off to where Paine had just left. The music was too loud for Rikku to hear what the two were saying but Dona shrugged.

Rikku ignored them as she followed after the way Paine had left. The stairs slowed her down a little but she rounded the corner and saw a back exit. She opened the door and the cold night air caused her to take a deep breath and hug herself.

It must have rained while they were inside because everything was wet. It was just cold enough to make it seem like a winter night all over again, there was even some ice forming on the side of an AC unit near the exit.

Rikku focused her eyes on the alley she had found. It was dark and there were a few crushed boxes to the side pushing up against the door. The walls that surrounding her were made of brick, which the rain had stained a dark crimson. Rikku could see the street ahead of the alley, and she could also see Paine leaning against the wall near the entrance. She looked up to the sky for a second, for help maybe? Rikku didn't know.

it was brighter than she expected it to be. She let a stray drop of rain fall on her face before focusing her attention back on the slender figure near the opening of the alley.

"Paine." Rikku's voice sounded foreign to even her. She let the door close behind her and took a few cautious steps forward.

Paine sighed heavily. She didn't want Rikku to see her like this. She pulled at the scattered pieces of herself and tried to put them together quickly.

Have you ever tried to do that? Tried to put a puzzle together as fast as possible not caring for the outcome, as long as it was together and whole and stable, everything would be okay.

"Paine?" Rikku asked as she got a little closer.

"Yeah?" Paine breathed.

Rikku shivered and frowned at the same time. She didn't get any closer. "Are you okay?" She whispered.

"Yeah, just go back inside."

"No."

"Gippal will wonder where you went."

"I don't care."

Paine turned and looked at Rikku shivering. She had looked nice tonight, but nice for whom? Or why did it even matter? Paine bit her lip. "No?" It came out just the way she wanted, accusing. Just her presence evoked things within Paine. She needed control.

Rikku was still very much intoxicated. She didn't like seeing Paine upset, and more than that she didn't like Paine upset at her. "Did I do something?"

"No, you did nothing." Paine glanced back onto the street then back to Rikku. "Now go back inside."

"You can't just tell me what to do."

"Fine, stay out here and freeze then." Paine crossed her arms and leaned her back against the wet brick wall. She was still pretty drunk too, and though it upset Paine to see Rikku and Gippal together, it upset her more to know that she was acting jealous over a girl. She had been stewing in her own thoughts all night and Dona had just flipped the switch. There suddenly were too many people in the room; too many old familiar faces, too many new familiar faces.

All in one room.

Rikku hugged herself a little closer and watched Paine; her cheeks were flush because of the weather and probably the alcohol. Her lips looked rosier too. Rikku focused her attention there for a little longer. She looked pretty tonight, Rikku longed to tell her, but then she remembered the other two women, they had probably already said that.

For some drunken reason Rikku began to get upset again. "You didn't even say hi to me." She managed to get out.

Paine looked up from the ground. "I didn't want to interrupt you and Gippal eye fucking each other."

"There was no eye fucking!"

Was she crazy? If anything it was more like Gippal eye advancing, and Rikku eye throwing up.

"Sure."

"What about you!"

"Me?"

"Who's Dona?" The way in which Paine's hazy eyes widened a little told her all she wanted to know.

"No one important." Paine crossed her arms closer to her body. It was fucking cold.

"No one important sure is handsy." Rikku mumbled.

"Gippal only wants to fuck you."

"Maybe I'll let him." Rikku pushed herself off the brick wall she had been leaning against opposite Paine. "You wouldn't care, you don't care about anything."

"He's my best friend."

"…and me?" Rikku challenged taking one small step closer to her.

"You… " Paine avoided her eyes.

"Right." Rikku nodded feeling her stomach drop. "Protective over nothing." She turned to leave then paused. "Do you even like me?" She turned and looked at Paine, the liquor making her brave.

"We're friends aren't we?"

"I don't know, are we?" Rikku chewed at her lip. "Because here I am in the cold freezing my lil' boobies off for you…. And you can't even look at me or answer me without that stupid look on your face."

Paine raised a brow.

Oh yeah, Rikku was drunk too.

"I mean." Rikku looked around on the ground for her words. "I'm not going to judge you for being jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yes… Because Paine you were and…" Paine opened her mouth to say something but Rikku spoke over her. "…And so was I."

It was quiet.

Paine sighed and their eyes finally locked. Though just as cloudy as hers, she could see Rikku pulling at her, she was pulling hard. Paine crossed the alley and Rikku took a step back in surprise. Paine hesitated for what seemed like an eternity to Rikku, before finally uncrossing her arms and rubbing Rikku's bare arms up and down in attempts to warm her.

Rikku couldn't even blink. She just watched Paine. Paine's actions were defiantly working, she was defiantly getting warmer. Her hands slowed down and it was almost painful how slow they moved up and down. Soon hands turned into fingers, and fingers turned into fingertips. She shivered again, and it wasn't from being cold this time.

Paine felt her and immediately pulled her hands away and stuffed them deeper into her jacket pockets. Had she really just done that? Rikku's skin was so soft, like cashmere soft, and even though she claimed to be cold her skin was warm to the touch.

"I'm really drunk." Paine explained.

Rikku actually chuckled. It echoed down the alley and for a while was the only thing that could be heard. Then a car passed on the street, then another, and another.

Rikku tilted her head slightly and looked at Paine. "What kind of drunk are you Pai?"

Paine shrugged. Her fingertips burned where she had touched Rikku. She couldn't stop herself from staring at her skin like some sort of creeper. Had it always been soft like that? Paine mentally shook her head. "I don't know."

"I think you'd be the fun type if you'd just relax." Rikku grabbed a hold of Paine's arms and ran her hands up them until they met behind her neck.

Paine swallowed hard.

_Whatever you do not look at her lips!_

She could feel Rikku's fingers playing in her hair at the back of her head. Paine closed her eyes and took a shallow breath in. "How?"

"By…" Rikku said quietly. Paine was holding onto every syllable and Rikku smirked proudly. "By… Drinking more!" Rikku sang, completely moving her hands from off of Paine and leaving her standing there in a daze.

So they did just that.

##

"No no no." Paine shook her head then regretted it when her world wouldn't move back to standing still.

Tidus laughed as Rikku tried to climb onto Paine's back.

Rikku grabbed a hold of Paine's shoulders from behind and pulled her. "You would deny me a piggy back….ride." She slurred. "I thought I was would …the Princess!"

"You are." Paine said trying to stagger away from her. "But I can't even hold my hands up."

Yuna chuckled and leaned more into Tidus as they watched the two in front of them. They were doing the walk of shame to Rikku's house at 4 in the morning.

"Besides, you look way too heavy." Paine teased.

Rikku playfully slapped Paine's arm. She made sure to do it lightly though because some asshole at the club lost Rikku's coat and Paine had given her her jacket to wear, leaving her arms bare. "You're a meanie."

Paine smiled stupidly causing Rikku to giggle. "Fine I'll give you a piggy back then."

"Yay!" Rikku turned around quickly and began trying to walk backwards. "Yunie, Teedus look watch this!" She turned Paine around and jumped onto her back almost causing the other girl to eat the concrete sidewalk.

"Paine are you sure-oh okay." Yuna stopped herself, it was already too late. Rikku had already jumped on her back. She had quite a bit to drink tonight, but she could at least pretend to be able to walk home.

Rikku and Paine?

Yeah, they were totally gone.

Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and wrapped her legs around her body. Paine held under her jean clad thighs to better hold her up. She wasn't heavy at all. Now she only had to get used to Rikku breathing against her neck.

"Don't be mad if I drop you." Paine warned. She felt a little dizzy.

"Don't drop me and I won't be mad."

Yuna watched the first few steps carefully. She didn't want either of them dying. Paine seemed to get used to the added weight and the two began talking in drunk to one another.

Yuna leaned her head upon Tidus's shoulder. "I like Paine." She said quietly only for him to hear. "I approve."

Tidus chuckled. "I like Rikku, she's bossy."

Yuna laughed. "Hey watch it mister, that's my cousin."

"I mean it in a good way of course. She's the only person I've seen boss Paine around. Even our boss at work is afraid of her."

Yuna nodded. "I think Rikku really likes her." She watched as Rikku began talking loudly and Paine tried shushing her. They were in a residential neighborhood after all.

"You think?" Tidus asked wondering.

Yuna nodded. "Mhm, I just, I'm worried."

Tidus put his arm around her shoulder. "You worry too much."

"I just don't want her to get hurt."

"Do you think Paine would?"

"I don't know. I don't know her well. She seems kind hearted. But at the club…"

"Her roommates?"

Yuna nodded. "And their friends."

"Wakka is the man."

"He is, it isn't him I'm worried about, nor Elma. She seems rather nice."

"That other guy? The one who kissed your hand?"

Yuna chuckled at how he said it. "Jealous?"

Tidus shrugged. "Psh no. I'm a very confidant man." He smiled.

"Good, you should be." Yuna watched as Rikku leaned her head against Paine's.

"Tired?" Paine asked feeling Rikku's warm cheek against her left ear. Rikku only nodded and hugged her closer. "I'm going to hate you in the morning." Paine announced.

Rikku grinned sleepily. The alcohol had finally caught up to her. "You know you had fun tonight."

**AN: Yay reviews! They were great and helpful as always. Some made me burst out in laughter, some made me pull out my Grammar for Dummies book, but I loved them all. **

**So obviously things are changing for our two favorite ladies. Oh just wait and see what I'm cooking up. Unfortunately update time **_**may**_** be a little slower since I'm traveling for the winter vacation.**

**They won't stop, I promise!**

**Review!**

**KathleenDee **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven **

Yuna tip toed to reach the skillet at the top shelf and accidentally hit the rice pot on the second shelf.

Loud clattering could be heard and then a series of loud groans of displeasure. "Sorry sorry." She apologized even though no one was in the room with her.

Tidus slouched in the arm chair of the Bayla den. He stared at the muted tv and huffed. "My eyelids even hurt…"

"It looks like you are getting pink eye from here." Rikku said as she sat up a little. He was wearing one of her brother's old light blue shirts he left behind, and a random pair of bright green swimming trunks Rikku found in his old room. His shaggy blonde hair looked even shaggier, and his usual bright blue eyes were dull.

"This always happens when I get hung over." Tidus grumbled. He slouched further in the arm chair and focused his eyes back on Spongebob.

Rikku felt like crap, she was pretty sure she even looked like crap too. It was a good thing Paine was dead or in a coma, or sleeping, or whatever. Rikku tugged lightly at her pony tail as she looked beside her on the couch. Paine's feet were tucked behind Rikku's back and the rest of her was just lying on the couch with her arms crossed and her eyes closed. Her hair slightly damp from the shower she just took had fallen over her nose, and Paine didn't seem to care.

She was wearing the obnoxious bright pink shirt Rikku had given her earlier to change into and some black shorts that had always been a tad loose on Rikku. Her creamy legs were bent at the knee and she hadn't moved in a solid ten minutes. Rikku thought giving her the shirt would be funny, but now she was conflicted. She liked looking at Paine, but the pink was making her head spin.

It was a miracle they got her to wake up. Paine had slept heavy, but didn't make a sound. It scared Rikku at first but Yuna had assured her that Paine would be.

Rikku poked Paine's leg and it twitched. "You awake over there?"

"Mm."

That was all she got.

"She's internalizing the hangover." Tidus spoke from his spot on the reclining chair. "That's not good."

"Eh." Was all Rikku had to say about that, she stretched her legs out and leaned back on the couch. She was wearing yellow Mrs. Joe boxers with a winky smiley on it and a worn gray NLU sweatshirt.

It was around 2:45 in the afternoon.

"How is everyone?" Yuna asked quietly as she walked in the room looking as perfect as ever.

Of course she had many of her clothes here in the guest room closet. She had had a slight headache, but nothing to what she was seeing before her. "Do you want me to turn the volume up?" She motioned to the muted flat screen that Tidus and Rikku were staring at intently.

"No!" They both shouted. Paine stirred and then the room was quiet again.

"Okay…" She went about the room and picked up Rikku's empty glass from the wooden coffee table. Rikku mumbled something in Al bhed with Yunie at the end. Yuna only smiled at her. She then went over to Paine and noticed she had only taken a few sips of her water. "Paine." She spoke quietly but in a firm manner. Paine opened one eye in acknowledgement. "You'll feel better if you drink this."

She said nothing, but moved to sit up. Rikku stood when she heard the house phone ringing in the kitchen. It was way too loud for her liking. She shuffled through the hallway and leaned against the wall as she picked it up. "Uhuh?"

"Is that how you answer the phone?"

"Pops you need to just take it easy okay? I think my ears are gonna bleed." Rikku held the phone away from her ear knowing he wouldn't get it.

After hanging up the phone Rikku shuffled back into then den to find Paine lying down again and Tidus with his eyes closed. "Move over." Rikku tapped Paine's leg and she moved it so the blonde could sit, but other than that the room was still. Every once and a while Yuna would come in and make them all drink something or take something. It was like that for a half hour until Yuna had finished making lunch.

After they ate they watched a movie, and then after the movie Tidus and Yuna left.

Rikku closed the door behind them and returned to the den where Paine was sitting in the reclining chair.

Rikku wore a soft smile and lied down on the couch. The den was probably the coziest place in the cold house to Rikku besides her room. She was seldom in the study or the formal living room. She hadn't even been in her brother's room since he moved out until today.

Cid meant it to be a place for him, but he was never home. The den was filled with warm colors of brown, green, and rusty oranges. It was one of the only rooms to be carpeted. There were large windows on one wall, but Rikku couldn't remember the last time they were pulled to let the sunlight in. There was a fireplace off to the left near the kitchen entrance and then a large entertainment system facing the couch. Along the walls were pictures of family and friends.

Rikku lifted her head lightly to look at Paine. Her eyes were no longer closed and she seemed more alert than earlier. The Al bhed sighed and turned her head toward the tv. "The news?" She asked when she realized what Paine was watching.

Paine shrugged but said nothing.

"It's depressing…"

"Spongebob for four hours straight is depressing."

"You weren't even watching it."

Their voices lacked their usual playful luster. Paine huffed lightly and changed the channel.

She was too tired.

"Leave it on here." Rikku mumbled when she passed the cooking channel. Paine put the remote down and reclined back in the chair. She was in no rush to go back home to her noisy apartment. Rikku's house held a certain lonely quiet that Paine liked. She knew it must have bothered the blonde. She glanced over at Rikku. She was curled up on the couch, her slightly puffy emerald eyes half open and focused on the tv.

She had been jealous

It had taken all afternoon for Paine to slowly regain her memory of last night. Bits and pieces toward the end were still fuzzy, but she remembered the alley.

She remembered Rikku calling her out, she remembered rubbing her arms, and she most certainly remembered Rikku's hands in her hair rubbing at her scalp.

But then she remembered returning to the club, Dona glaring as she and Rikku approached the bar, Gippal coming over but Rikku turning him away. She remembered the look on his face, and then Bart, she remembered Bart. The looks he would give her. Paine was never one to care what anyone thought, but it bothered her because she knew Rikku did. Though the bubbly Al Bhed was too drunk to really notice Paine had.

"Hm?" Paine questioned when she heard Rikku mumble something.

"This is making me hungry all over again."

Paine put her attention back to the screen and her mouth watered at the cheeseburger and polenta fries being showcased. "I can change it." She reached for the remote.

"Let's make hamburgers."

"Make them?"

"Mhm… I think I have beef here." Rikku pulled herself up from the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. A few moments later she called for Paine.

Paine stood up a little too fast but then caught her balance and went into the kitchen. Rikku had pulled frozen hamburger meat from the fridge and was thawing it out under running water in the sink.

Paine found Rikku tip toed in the spice cabinet pulling things out. "I can't reach the paprika."

"Here." Paine went over and grabbed it for her.

"Thanks."

"Mhm." Paine closed the cabinet gently and leaned against the counter.

"Now I don't know how this works, but I saw them put an egg in the ground beef."

Paine nodded. "A binder."

"I don't think I have eggs…" Rikku thought aloud as she pressed her pointer finger to her bottom lip in thought. She went into the fridge and rummaged about for a second and then closed it. "Can we use ketchup?" She asked hopefully.

"In place of an egg?" Paine questioned.

"Well it's viscous like eggs are…"

Paine chuckled at her reasoning, she never thought of it that way before. "I don't think that would work."

Rikku pouted and then looked to all the random ingredients she had pulled out. She looked to Paine, and then frozen beef and then to Paine again.

##

Paine sighed. She had never seen so many different kinds of eggs before in her life. At the corner market where she lived there were brown eggs and white eggs, and that was it. Rikku was in her ear chatting away about getting some recipe. "Ok well I'm here, what kind of eggs do you want me to get?" She wouldn't have left the comfy recliner for the chilly evening air if she didn't want something to eat, at least that's what Paine told herself.

"The eggy kind." Rikku answered seriously.

"The eggy kind?"

"Yeah."

"I don't understand."

Rikku chuckled lightly at the confused tone her voice took. "You don't know what eggs are?"

"No I do."

"So what's the problem?"

"There are too many to choose from…. Like what the fuck is an omega 3 egg?" She read the container. "Eggs already have omega 3 in them… why are they advertising this?"

"Take it easy." Rikku laughed, she was getting worked up over eggs.

"Vegetarian eggs… cage free…." She listened as Paine read the names to herself. "Vegan eggs… really?"

"Just get whichever looks prettiest." She listened as Paine moved some container around. She hated that Styrofoam sound.

"These all suck, hold on." Paine put her cell phone in her jacket pocket and began checking the eggs quality. Rikku could hear Paine talking to someone. She couldn't hear what they were saying but Paine seemed to know the person. "Hello?" Paine asked as she pulled her phone out again a few minutes later.

"Hya."

"Guess who I just saw."

"Mm… the boogieman?"

"Close, Lai."

Rikku chuckled. "That's not nice, what is he saying?"

"He really wants him and I to hang out." Paine made her way to the bread isle, she still had to get buns.

"You've kinda been blowing him off."

"I don't think so."

"Can you get onions too?"

"For what?"

"For the burgers, duh."

Paine returned to find Rikku forearm deep in raw hamburger meat. She thawed it out magically (she wouldn't tell Paine how when she asked.) and was now adding spices.

Paine chuckled at the mess she had made. Spices were sprinkled everywhere. "I plan on eating and running." She informed Rikku once she placed the paper bag down on the breakfast nook table and took off her leather jacket. "Just to avoid all of this clean up."

"You better not."

Paine reached into her back pocket and pulled out a few dollar bills and a few coins. "Where do you want your change?"

"Put it by the jelly beans." Rikku motioned with her head at the candy shop styled glass contained near the toaster. "Did you get everything?"

Rikku wore a sloppy grin as she watched Paine get excited about something. She continued mixing the cold meat as Paine spoke with the cutest "look what I did," face.

"I was looking at the shit ton of eggs there and look what I found on sale." Paine pulled out the egg container and Rikku laughed.

"Easter eggs?"

Paine nodded. "Well… not really they were just painted." She shrugged. "You said get the prettiest ones and the inside of an egg can't really be infected by human germs, not until it's cracked so it's totally safe… just don't get any egg shells in there." Paine walked over to Rikku and used her left hand to hit an egg against the metal bowl and open it so that the yolk and white slipped in to the meat spice mixture.

"Wha… you know how to crack an egg with one hand?" Rikku asked in amazement.

Paine was at the sink washing her hand. "I guess?" she shrugged.

"I can't even do that!"

The two talked idly while making the burger patties. Rikku didn't bring up the night before, and neither did Paine. A part of her was glad. She didn't know what Paine was thinking and she was scared to know. She was scared to be told, no. Her plan was to just act like herself and let that be that, she had bigger things to worry about for right now.

Paine had picked up frozen sweet potato fries and had just popped them in the oven while Rikku tried to wipe down the counter from her mess. "How many do you think we should cook off?" Paine asked as she adjusted the heat on the gas range.

"They're pretty small…" Rikku thought. "I could eat two." She rubbed her belly and stood next to Paine by the stove, it was warm there and Paine was there.

Double win.

"I could too, I didn't expect it to take so long to make."

"We'll do four then, I can put one patty in the fridge and the rest in the freezer." Paine nodded in agreement.

##

Leaving the Heights and returning home was always interesting to Paine. It was like being a shape shifter. She went from seeming a little out of her place to being just another regular girl walking home.

It was late, Rikku was basically falling sleep where she was standing when Piane left. Crenshaw Street was lined with graffiti, battered single family homes and a waste land of a park Wakka would go running in every morning. The world seemed blue with darkness and the only real light worth mentioning was the steady glow from front porches and windows.

Paine's building was the last on the block with a wide stoop and a paler porch light than the rest. Mackenzie's mother was always making Wakka install this or fix that. The light had been changed a month ago.

A wind came up from down the block and caused her to shiver lightly. The calming scent of lavender hit her and she smiled to herself.

Rikku had returned her clothes from the night before laundered and smelling a little like her. She supposed lavender was one of the floral notes she had attributed to Rikku's spring like scent.

"Hey." Elma greeted Paine as she walked into the apartment. She was in her fuzzy robe and slippers and had a bowl of cereal in her hands. She still looked hung over, but at least now she was more of herself instead of bouncing all around the room. Her now auburn hair was pulled into a loose bun and her eyes were red as if she had been straining them reading in the dark.

Elma looked Paine up and down noticing she was still in her club clothes. She sat down on the two seater couch and took a spoonful of cereal to her lips before asking Paine something.

"So, who is she?" Elma was staring at the tv, the news was on and there were a few medical journals laid out on the messy coffee table.

Paine looked around. "Who?"

Elma took another spoonful of cereal and looked at Paine strangely. She nodded then put the bowl of cereal down. "The boys went out." She informed.

"Oh." Paine nodded, she was wondering why it was so quiet. "Where did they go?"

"Oriental food." She flipped a page of one of the medical journals. "But that was a few hours ago, Wakka texted me saying not to wait up." She looked up at Paine. "Isn't he sweet?"

Paine chuckled and took off her jacket before sitting on the lumpy sofa near Elma. "My phone died, I'm sorry."

Elma huffed. "It's not like I care about you or anything."

"Oh, of course." Paine nodded with a small smile on her face.

"So who is she?"

"She who?"

"The girl that has both you and Gippal stupid, the blonde… last night?"

"Oh."

"Oh?" Elma probed.

"Rikku Bayla, she's Gippal's old lawyer's daughter." Paine shrugged. "Are you watching this?" She pointed to the tv.

Elma picked up the remote and turned it off. "Nope."

Paine sighed at her. "That's who she is, what else do you want?"

"Which one of you is dating her?"

"What? Neither of us, I don't even—"

Elma shook her head at that. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"Lie."

##

"Two more for the road." Rikku said to herself as she picked two more red jelly beans out of the glass container and then turned off the kitchen light. She was on her way up the stairs when the front door jingled and then opened.

"Pops?"

"Rikku." Cid flipped on the hallway light and looked up at his daughter on the stairs. He smiled. "I just missed you huh?"

Rikku shrugged, her tongue too busy prying the gummy red substance off her teeth. Cid took off his coat and stepped out of his shoes. He took off his suit jacket and tossed it on a chair that sat near and end table that sat near the door. "I feel as though I haven't seen you in days." He spoke. "Not since you just left."

Rikku said nothing as she remembered when her father confronted her and Auron by the very same door he was standing.

"Did you eat? It smells good in here." Cid put his hands on his waist and looked back up to Rikku, she had this look on her face that reminded him of her mother.

"Paine and I made hamburgers." Rikku offered, it was the first time she was mentioning Paine to her father.

Cid looked around. "Is she still here? Have I missed the infamous Ms. Kerrigan?"

"Whatever Auron said is some grim fabrication."

Cid chuckled lightly at the look on her face. "What about Juliann?" Rikku rolled her eyes just like Cid had suspected her to. He rubbed his chin lightly. "What about you?"

Rikku blinked. "Me?"

"Well she is your friend no?"

"I guess so."

"You guess so?" Cid smiled and extended his arm. "Come down here girl."

##

Paine rubbed her face tiredly. She was never one for girl talk.

Elma chuckled softly. "You act as if I'm pulling teeth."

"It's just hard to think about let alone talk about."

"I bet Dona didn't make things better… or maybe she had helped you both out in her own bitchy way."

Paine snorted. "We'll see."

"So does Gippal know about…. "

"I think so, I'm not sure."

"Man this is juicy." Elma commented spooning the last bit of her cereal up. "She seems nice, a bit hyper… and she was kind of giving me a look all night, but she seems nice. No wonder Gippal is after her. Keep an eye on him, he ruins everything he touches."

"You?"

Elma paused and shook her head no. "Never."

##

Rikku watched from the breakfast nook as Cid moved about the kitchen. He had removed his work button down leaving him in gray slacks and a white tank top, his muscular arms surprising Rikku briefly. She had forgotten how strong her father was. He was behind a desk a lot these days. He was hardly the same person she remembered while growing up.

Cid was nervous; he could feel her eyes on as him as he hesitated before reaching for the glass candy container. Cid took a small handful of jelly beans out and placed them on the counter. He pulled aside the black ones and sprinkled the rest on top of the sweet cream ice cream he picked up on the way home.

He turned with the bowl and was caught off guard.

His little girl was all grown up.

When did this happen?

"Thanks." Rikku spoke quietly. Only the kitchen light was on and not the breakfast nook light. Her father was half shadow, half man.

"I'm going to send out for ones without the black ones. You shouldn't have to pick through them…"

Rikku watched her father take the small dessert spoon and scoop up the small bit of ice cream. She followed suit.

##

"She's different from what everyone expects… and I just…" Paine paused.

"You like her." Elma offered. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"I can count a million things wrong with it."

Elma sighed. "Well at least you don't like her a lot, because then Paine, then you would have to get over this way of thinking that you and everyone over here has. Oh, my how scary." Elma had moved onto tea. She was sitting crossed leg on the couch; her robe was bunched up around her waist revealing thigh length sweats.

"That's just it. I can never really fit in her world, and she could never fit into mine."

"So make a new one."

Paine shook her head. "That sounds like hard work."

"Like I said, it's a good thing you don't like her a lot," Elma pushed again. "Anyway… how have you been sleeping?" She hadn't been running into Paine at night this last month like they always had. At least one of them was getting some rest. "And what the hell happened to your hands?"

##

"So, you two are hanging out a lot then?" Cid asked the silence.

Rikku looked up from her half eaten bowl of ice cream. "Paine and I?"

"Mhm." He nodded.

Rikku couldn't help her little smile. "Yeah."

"Well? Details, c'mon, you know your old man isn't hip on these things." Cid chuckled.

"Pop you were never really hip on anything."

Cid shrugged. "This is also true."

Rikku chuckled and the two smiled at one another.

"E muja oui, so kas"

Rikku got up when he mumbled this and wrapped her arms around his thick neck. Cid smiled but became confused when Rikku started to cry.

"Do you really?" She asked in a shaky tone. "Will you really?"

"What are these?" Cid softly asked as he stood and wrapped his arms around Rikku. She barely reached his chest. Rikku hugged him tight and could feel her tears get heavier just from his familiar scent. "Of course I will, I forever will love you, no matter what."

##

_The halls were dark; the only light came from the italicized white numbers on the doors she passed. _

_21, 22, 23,…._

_They seemed to glow and dance tauntingly around the peep holes and door knobs. _

_Paine brought her hand up to rub her eyes. Was she seeing things again, she wondered as she slipped both her hands into her pockets. Paine squinted her eyes, straining them almost, until the numbers moved back into their rightful order. She seemed to know where she was going. How could she forget? _

_An overwhelming chill caused her to yank her hands out of her pockets revealing handfuls of jelly beans._

"_What in the—"_

"_You're late." A door opened at the end of the narrow hall revealing an almost blinding light and a feminine silhouette. _

"_Am I?" Paine asked wincing when she let the jelly beans fall to the stained carpet. They sounded like little bombs._

"_Yes, how long do you expect me to wait?"_

_Paine took a few steps closer; she used the back of her hand to shield her eyes from the light. "Rikku?" The woman laughed and right away Paine knew she had confused her with someone. She didn't know how though. The two looked nothing alike. "Dona."_

"_Hurry up." The silhouette stepped aside and despite something telling her to stay in the dark she stepped into the bright light. _

_Paine blinked a few times before she noticed she was in the living room of apartment 24A. _

_Someone laughed. "Dr. P is out!"_

_Paine stepped further into the room at the mention of her name. _

"_You guys are too crazy."_

"_You're too chicken." That would be a younger Gippal. His hair was a bit shaggy and his chin the scruffiest she had ever known it to be. He was wearing an army green sleeveless shirt and washed out black cargos. He wet his lips before reaching deep into his pocket and pulling out some lint and a few white pills. "C'mon let's go halfsies."_

_Paine looked across the room to find a younger version of herself dressed in torn jeans and a gray tank top. She was smoking something. _

"_I don't share."_

_It was true, she didn't. _

_Younger Gippal grinned at this. "Then have a whole one." Young Paine reached over and Older Paine watched on with worry. She remembered this night._

"_Babysitting blows." Barthello groaned walking into the room. He was shorter and a lot scrawnier version of the Bart now._

"_It's easy." Young Paine said quietly. Older Paine looked around in confusion. The lights were dim and the only thing that could be heard beside the streets outside was Gippal's high pitched laughs from the living room._

_Wasn't she just in the living room?_

"_I want to try it, but… not with Gippal." Younger Dona scooted closer to Paine on the bed. "What about you?"_

"_I've already had sex Dona…"_

"_So have I, but not with… you."_

_The pill she had taken earlier had started to kick in five minutes ago, and she had been staring at Dona's breasts for the better part of three minutes. She couldn't help it they just looked so… nice._

_And what did she really stand to lose?_

_Younger Paine leaned in closer, but there was a knock at the bedroom door. _

"_What!" _

"_Is that how you answer a phone?"_

_Rikku?_

Paine woke with a start, her breath heavy and her heart in mild panic. After looking around she calmed, she was in her dark room on south Crenshaw. Several long cold blocks away from apartment 24A. Paine shivered.

"What the hell?" She asked herself in the dark. Her hair was messy and damp, she noticed this when she put a hand through it.

Her phone began chiming a familiar melody and buzzing on her nightstand. She took a breath and answered calmly. "Paine."

"Come over for breakfast Pai!"

Paine wiped her face of the remainder of sleep and sighed. "Rikku?" The reminisce of her dream a distant memory now.

"Okay yoga, but look it will be fun and Yunie wants you to come she misses you."

"Yuna misses me." Paine said flatly. "You're bribing me and lying to me at…" Paine checked the time. "At five thirty in the morning?"

Rikku chuckled. "Just come."

"Fine… but I—" she yawned. "I want pancakes…"

"Fine."

"In the shape of a chocobo."

"Done."

"A baby chocobo!" Paine added and smiled when Rikku hung up on her after laughing.

Never one for reading too deeply into her dreams, Paine pushed it to the back of her mind as she pulled herself out of bed.

##

"She's just showing off now!" Rikku glared as Paine did a hand stand from warrior pose.

Yuna clapped as Paine stood and bowed. Their yoga class had ended ten minutes ago and now they were just hanging around in the workout room. The yoga studio was somewhere in midtown and it had taken a half hour to get there, but being as active as she was she was glad for the warm up.

Yuna's yoga class was really good.

"C'mon Princess, it isn't hard." Paine walked over to where Rikku was attempting some kind of something on her yoga mat. The blonde was wearing black yoga pants as were the other girls, but instead of the light blue top on Yuna, or the deep purple work out tank top Paine wore, Rikku was wearing a yellow spaghetti strapped yoga top. Her headband was black today. "It's like riding a bike, give me your legs." Paine instructed.

Rikku straightened out her legs and Paine picked them up. "Alright, now center your weight in your palms." Soon she was doing a hand stand with Paine holding her legs. "Now spread your hands so they are at shoulders length. Good, now center your weight and when I let go distribute the weight."

"Okay." Rikku said. Yuna chuckled at how her cheeks were red.

"Alright," Paine let go and Rikku was up for a second before she bent her knees and fell.

"Owie." She rubbed her back and then looked up at Paine. "I'm glad I never took one of your classes, you're a sucky teacher."

Paine chuckled and helped Rikku up. The three hung out for a little while before Yuna checked the time. "Oh my, I have to go!"

"Yunie's got a food date with Lulu and The Times." Rikku explained as they watched Yuna gather her things.

"It's only 9 something." Paine observed.

"They're doing _brunch_." Rikku nudged Paine. "My lil Yunie is all grown up. Tear." Rikku pretended to wipe tears from her eyes.

Yuna chuckled. "Your little Yunie is going to be late." She smiled at Paine. "I'm glad you came Piane, this was real fun."

"Yeah it was." Paine agreed. They said good bye and Rikku turned to look at Paine.

"C'mon teach me how to fight Pai." She put up her fists and started jumping from foot to foot.

Paine laughed. "Alright, but first off that stance is almost as horrible as your hand stand."

"Hey!" Rikku sent a fake jab Paine's way. "Y'know you haven't seen me angry."

"Oh yeah?" Paine chuckled blocking Rikku's playful hits.

"Yeah, see all this." She threw a punch. "This is all just for show."

"Uhuh." Paine laughed when Rikku tried to kick her and caught herself off balance. "You wouldn't last a second against me."

Rikku smirked. 'You'd be surprised."

Paine chuckled. "So, is that a challenge?"

"Sure! But after I become a black belt, because until then, it's not fair." Rikku lowered her fists and stepped a little closer to Paine. Paine put her arms down from blocking. "Breakfast?" She smiled lightly at Paine. Yesterday they hadn't hung out, and call it selfish but she wanted to get in all her Paine time before Paine started working in a few days. "There is a diner down the road from here, and I know for a fact they have baby chocobo shaped pancakes."

Paine smiled a little then remembered something. "Oh, I didn't bring any cash with me, I was just kidding about the chocobo pancake thing."

Rikku frowned. "Nonsense, it's my treat."

"No Rikku I don't thin—"

"My idea right?" Rikku smiled at Paine remembering her words from other times they hung out and Rikku offered to pay for something. "C'mon, have breakfast with me." She tugged lightly on Paine's arm.

Eveready Diner was bustling with the breakfast crowd when the two arrived. Paine had walked by a couple of times but never thought to look inside. The place smelt of coffee and bacon. Rikku rubbed her stomach and then her hands together. "This place is really good." She turned to say to Paine.

They were seated at a booth at Rikku's request. The table had just been wiped down and Paine's nose twitched at the scent of sanitizing solution. Rikku looked out the window then back to Paine, she had a little smile on her face Paine couldn't ignore.

"You're in a good mood this morning." Paine stated grabbing the menu and flipped it to the breakfast section.

Rikku shrugged. "I slept really good last night."

"Ladies, hello my name is Saber, I will be your waiter this morning. Can I start you off with something tp drink?"

"Orange Juice please."

"I'll have some coffee." Paine nodded.

"Great." Saber had to be in his late twenties with pearly white teeth and shiny black hair.

"Saber…" Rikku giggled.

"It's a unique name I will admit." Paine chuckled.

"Like Paine? I have never met another Paine."

"I've never met a Rikku before."

Rikku tossed her head back lightly. "They are a dime a dozen at Home."

"Really?"

Rikku shrugged. "I knew one other Rikku."

"That's not a dime a dozen."

"Well unique names are common there." Rikku chuckled.

"Were you born there on the island?"

Rikku nodded. "We moved when I was little, for Pop's work. We go back sometimes. No one really calls me Rikku there."

"What do they call you?"

Rikku made a show of clearing her throat. "Rikku Milan." She said pronouncing it with a full Al Bhed accent.

Paine chuckled. It was hot. "That's pretty good, who is Milan?"

Saber arrived with their drinks and left when he noticed they hadn't really been looking at the menu.

"My _Knyhtsudran_." Paine nodded. "That means grandmother."

"I know." Paine said sipping her coffee without putting any sugar or cream in it. It was a little watered down, but she didn't expect much from any diner.

"Do you know Al Bhed?"

Paine shrugged. "I can't really speak it like you, but I understand a lot more than I let on. One of the caregivers at the-where I stayed. She was Al Bhed." She picked up her mug again. "She was one of the parlor women."

"What's that?"

"She bathed the little ones."

"You?"

Paine nodded.

Rikku smiled. "Milgo ran" She laughed when Paine spilled some of her coffee. Paine put her mug down and reached for a napkin. "So you _do_ understand." Rikku stated as she sipped her orange juice through a straw with mirth in her eyes. The little pink at Paine's cheeks was cute.

"Well I mean not always, I grew up and could do it for myself, I can bathe myself…"

Rikku laughed.

"Never mind." Paine groaned. She got a thoughtful look on her face. "I guess she was kind of like my Kuknaeha…things."

"_Knyhtsudran"_

"Yeah."

"Do you two still talk?"

Paine shook her head no. "She passed away a few years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry Pai." Rikku frowned.

"It's okay." Paine busied herself looking down at the menu. That was just something she didn't talk about.

Rikku frowned even more. She knew Paine didn't have many people with her and it made her hate herself just a little for being mad at her father for stupid things like drinking all the chocolate milk. She could not have him, and then what? She pressed her lips together and decided to change the subject. "So, what does A stand for?"

"A?"

"Your initials are on you're the inside of your leather jacket, the left sleeve."

Paine nodded wondering when she had noticed. They were sewn there and hardly noticeable. "Amelia."

"Aw, Paine that's so pretty. Paine Amelia Kerrigan."

"One too many vowels if you ask me." Paine chuckled at how Rikku clasped her hands as if she were looking at a family of ducklings walking by.

"Well I like it." Rikku dismissed her.

Just then Saber came back. "Are we ready to order ladies?" Eventually they were. Paine ordered the chocobo pancakes and eggs. Rikku ordered French toast with bacon and sausage.

They ate quietly for a little until Rikku wiped her mouth and looked over at Paine. "So… I wrote those letters…"

Paine looked up at Rikku. She too wiped her mouth as best as she could, her lips still felt sticky from the syrup though. "To Yuna, and your father?"

"Yeah.. I mean I tried."

Paine nodded. "That's good Ri, did it help?"

"A bit, it's just now that now I realize how much I don't... Know what I'm doing." She was playing with the ring on her right hand.

Paine frowned. "I think it's just a way to get things off your chest." She fought herself for a few minutes before finally speaking. "Do you want my help?"

Rikku met her eyes. "Could you? I mean I don't want to put you in that position, because I know how… this upsets you."

"It only upsets me that he can't take a hint."

"He gave me something to give you last Firday."

"You went to see him?"

"No Paine." She sent Paine a little look. "He was waiting by my car."

"What the fuck?"

"When I was on the phone with you…"

"That's why you had to go?" Paine sat back in her seat; she knew the blonde sounded a little funny. "You should have told me."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah, why should I have told you?" Rikku asked, her tone was curious and that curiosity only peeked when she watched Paine fidget.

Rikku desperately wished she could read minds, at least for the minute that Piane was silent. Though she knew Paine felt something for her, it was so hard not knowing what. It was.

"Because, we're friends right? That's what you always ask me right? Don't friends look out for one another?" Paine answered like she had been backed into a corner.

Rikku nodded.

"Okay then." Paine would admit that maybe she had been a bit much just now. She sighed and looked down at her food.

Rikku watched her quietly. "How did you sleep?" Paine had admitted a few nights ago that she had been having trouble sleeping. It was nothing grand, just something in passing while they were on the phone one night.

Paine shrugged.

"You sounded awake when I called."

"I had just woken up." Paine suddenly remembered her dream "I had the weirdest dream though." She opened up just slightly. She wasn't about to tell Rikku it was about her first night with a woman, or the fact that the blonde had shown up multiple times.

Rikku smiled a little. "What was it about?"

Paine shoveled some pancake in her mouth and shrugged. "Mm, just stuff."

##

Paine made a face. "I can't believe you managed to drag me back here." She was pretty sure she just stepped in gum, or chewing tobacco, she wouldn't put it passed this place.

Rikku pressed her shoulder into Paine's as they maneuvered through the dark theater. "Look we didn't miss the previews! C'mon let's find a seat."

After much conflict, the two decided on a seat in the far back of the cheap theater. "How come you aren't stepping in anything?" Paine complained as she picked up her foot to look under her shoe.

"Heels." Rikku grinned. "Less surface area, should've worn the heels Pai-Day." Paine made a noise of disagreement. Just then a group of people walked in smoking something sweet smelling. Rikku frowned. "Did we miss the pixie sticks at the candy cart?"

Paine looked at Rikku strangely. "No, did you drop your jelly beans again?"

"No they're right here." Rikku shook the little box. "What's that smell then?"

Paine paused. "All I smell is popcorn and pot."

"That's what it is…" She leaned closer to Paine and whispered. "Those people are smoking weed."

Paine chuckled. "Brave souls."

"Why? You think the cops would come in here?"

"No." Paine shook her head. "These movies are so fucking weird already; I would never want to see them high." she adjusted her soda in her arm rest.

It had been Rikku's idea to go to the hipster movie house again one night. It was summer and Paine started working in a few days. She was excited about it, but the more she thought about it the more she realized she would miss hanging out with Rikku.

Rikku had a way of making Paine feel good. She found herself going out of her way to make the blonde happier, especially when the topic of Auron would come up. She could see it was beginning to really become emotionally taxing on her, and Paine couldn't push, not in a situation like this, thus the reason for her so willingly going along to the weird hipster movies.

If it made her happy, it made Paine happy.

"Do you smoke a lot?" Rikku asked curiously as she sat back into the saggy chair.

Paine shrugged. "Every now and then." She paused. "Not a lot recently…" She hadn't really smoked in a few weeks.

"I've never done it."

Paine chuckled. "Didn't think so."

"Wha, why? Maybe I could of." Rikku said putting up a fight.

Paine shrugged. "You just don't seem like the type."

"I just y'know, never thought about it."

"Uhuh."

They settled down and watched a few previews in quiet before Rikku turned to Paine and leaned a little closer to her. "We should do it."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "What?" The last preview just happened to be on some independent film about sex addicts.

"Smoke, me and you." Rikku said quietly. It was cute how she was trying to keep her voice down.

Paine chuckled. "Why Princess, I'm surprised."

"I mean just once, I think it would be interesting no?"

Paine nodded. "No yeah." She still had a little grin on her face. "If you want to."

"Yeah!"

"You're way too excited about this."

"Well its summer right? Then last night I was thinking that I don't do enough crazy things."

"You don't?" Paine teased.

Rikku chuckled. "No, and I mean, I trust you so it should be fun, right?" All Paine got out of that was that she trusted her. No one had really just gone and outright said that to her. Rikku raised her eyebrow at Paine. "Right?" She asked again.

"Yeah." Paine smiled.

Just then the movie began. "Ooh." Rikku turned to face the screen excitedly. Paine sat back in her seat as well and could not for the life of her explain the feeling in her gut. It was a feathery kind of thing, it even tickled a little.

##

Rikku grasped Paine's arm tighter.

"Wow I'm glad I only need one hand.' Paine teased in a sarcastic whisper.

"Shut up." Rikku trembled. "Just tell me when it's over." She ducked her head.

"Okay." Paine couldn't stop laughing, Rikku was probably really scared, and she should probably stop laughing soon, but she couldn't help it. Rikku was so adamant about seeing _Shadow Puppet_ even after Paine read the description to her. She imagined it would be some low budget, ketchup as blood thriller. "It's done." Paine announced.

Rikku poked her head out from behind Paine's shoulder and began to lessen her hold. Just then a scream was heard and impressive blood splatter went all over the screen. Rikku yelped and practically jumped into Paine's lap. The arm rest between them had already been moved.

"We can go, we can go." Paine repeated softly as she held the shaking girl. Someone turned around and shushed Rikku when she began saying something to Paine. "Why don't you turn around and watch the movie." Paine countered.

"Why don't you shut your friend up?" The guy with a mullet a few rows in front of them turned around more in his seat.

Rikku was surprised at how she could feel Paine's entire body tense, her breathing became a little shallow too. "Turn the fuck around before I make you."

The man seemed to sense the venom in Paine's voice and he wisely turned around. Paine looked back down at Rikku. "Do you still want to go? Look, I think the worst part is over."

Rikku liked the way Paine's arm felt around her, and even though the movie was a little less scary than the first half was, she didn't make a move to sit back in her seat, and Paine didn't move at all.

**AN: Hi! Happy Holidays! Was this too fluffy? I hope not, because I've got some pretty cute scenes coming up. Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve **

Rikku opened the front door and dragged Paine into the house before she had a chance to say hello.

"Do you have it?" She asked.

Paine made an amused face and nodded. Rikku did a little jump. "Okay! So I've been researching…"

"Why?" Paine asked as she kicked out of her shoes and took off her jacket carefully. "Hi by the way, it's nice to see you too." she chuckled.

Rikku crossed her arms. "Because, Paine, how else am I to know what to expect?"

"That's why I'm here Princess, so you don't eat that whole thing of jelly beans or think you can fly and jump off the roof or something." Paine shook her head.

Rikku uncrossed her arms and tilted her head to examined Paine. "Hi." She smiled. Paine offered her a tiny smile and then motioned toward the staircase.

"Anyone else home?"

"Who would be here?"

"Hm." Paine nodded.

Rikku looked elsewhere for a second then back to Paine. "What's it like? Is it scary?"

Paine became thoughtful. "It can be, but like I said, that's why I'm here."

"Okay." Rikku rocked on the balls of her feet. "What did you do today?" She asked as she turned around and looked over her shoulder to make sure Paine was following her. "Are you thirsty? I made that Iced tea you like so much."

Paine followed with her leather jacket loosely hanging on her arm. "_You_ like that tea."

"You like it too, you know how I know?"

"How?"

"You drink all of it, every last drop, not like that peanutbutter milkshake I made you try, you hardly took two sips but said you liked it." Rikku said as she pulled out two glasses. Paine nodded, she had been caught.

"Not much, I went with Wakka for a work out."

"Did you?" Rikku asked from inside the fridge.

"Mhm."

"So you're not grumpy then." Rikku reasoned as she poured the iced tea and then went to get mint leafs.

Paine chuckled. "I'm never grumpy, I just don't like… People sometimes."

Rikku laughed along with her as she handed her the tall glass. "Uh, hate to break it to yah, but that's called grumpy." Rikku clinked her glass with Paine's before taking a sip from hers and walking past her. Paine followed after Rikku as they climbed the stairs. "You are all tense on days you don't work out, tense and snappy."

"Snappy?" Paine raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, like when we went to the movies?" Rikku pushed her bedroom door open with her bare foot and sat down on her bed.

Paine tossed her jacket down on Rikku's desk chair and took a sip of the iced tea. Her room was neater than usual today. She peeked out Rikku's open windows. It was always so bright in Rikku's room. Paine shrugged. "He was being an asshole."

Rikku watched Paine shrug off the fact that she had not only defended her, but had also kept her arm around her for the entire length of the movie. Rikku honestly couldn't remember the rest of the scary movie. She lie awake that night, not afraid that a shadow puppet would jump from her closet and throttle her, no. Rikku was remembering the weight of Paine's arm, the warmth of her body, her scent. It had kept the blonde up at night smiling into her pillow.

Even now as she could barely hide her smile behind her glass. "You were acting tough."

Paine shrugged. She didn't know how she felt about the other night. She liked being close to Rikku, and getting that little taste of closeness scared her. It felt right, that's why she did it, but at the same time Paine felt something in her saying that it probably wasn't a good idea. It could have been her own insecurities.

"Yeah don't get used to it."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Yeah okay, I'll try."

Paine chuckled, took a sip of her tea, and the licked her lips. Rikku was right, she really liked the minty, lemony, tea. "What did you do today, besides research?"

"Mm." Rikku stretched out her bare legs. She was wearing shorts and a purple and pink shirt. "Yunie and I were on the phone for most of the day, she was telling me about her brunch thingy with the paper."

"Oh, how did it go?" Paine asked finally taking a seat on the bed.

"It went really well they said it should be in print by the end of the week."

"That's good."

"Everyone is still talking about the mystery model."

Paine shook her head. "Let them talk."

Rikku rolled her eyes again. "You really wouldn't do it again? Everyone loved you and you looked like you knew what you were doing."

"I had no idea what I was doing." The two laughed.

"Well I'm sure if there is another show in the works Yunie will ask you, and she's my cousin so…"

"So I can't say no? Says who?"

"Me!" Rikku pointed a thumb to herself.

Paine shook her head as she tried to seem upset. "No fucking way."

"Yes."

"We'll see." Paine shook her head no again.

"Hm. So what about work, you start like tomorrow right?" Rikku rested her glass on her nightstand. "Physical theropizing."

"One, theropizing is not a word, and two, no. Day after, but tomorrow I'm helping Gip out at the restaurant, they are catering some wedding thing and I could use the extra cash."

"So then you work all week right?"

Paine nodded. "If I'm lucky I get off at 10."

"At night?"

Paine nodded.

"Aw, Pai, so what am I going to do all day!" Rikku threw her arms up.

Paine laughed. "I'm sure you will figure something out."

"I doubt it."

"I doubt your doubt."

"Well I doubt you doubting my doubt."

Paine grinned lightly. "I'm not even going to continue with you."

"Why?" Rikku chuckled.

"So you wanted to roll a spiff right? Let's do it so you are okay by nine."

Rikku giggled. "A spiff… is that slang or something? Say it again, you say it funny."

Paine groaned. "No." She got up. "Let's go to the studio."

"Say spiff again. Paine…. Hey wait for me!" Rikku chuckled as she followed after Paine. She had been wondering when Paine's roots would show itself in her speech. She had the cutest little lower east side accent when she said "spiff."

##

She made a point to slow down her movements and her speech. She spoke in a low, calm voice like she did in some of her classes.

Paine sat on the wooden floor with her legs stretched out in front of her. The thin white wrapping paper and a small red tin box with a clamped lid sat between her legs, her back was pressed against the crimson colored loveseat.

"Then you hold it like this." Paine spoke quietly. One of the main reasons being that Rikku had her right shoulder pressed into her left and was leaning impossibly close to get a better look at what Paine was doing, every once and a while she would ask something, but Paine was a little surprised at how quietly she watched.

They sat there for a few more minutes until Paine had it tightly wrapped and tapered at one end. When she was done she glanced to her side at Rikku. "Okay?"

Rikku knew she wasn't asking if she was okay with the steps and rules of rolling a joint. She knew by the way Paine asked that she was asking if she really wanted to do it. "Yeah." Rikku nodded.

Paine nodded and leaned to her right where her leather jacket sat on the floor. She searched the inseam pockets and pulled out a classic Zippo lighter. Paine put then joint between her lips and began to work on lighting it. Rikku watched on wondering how on earth someone could look so sexy while lighting a joint. Paine had though. Her pink lips hugged the spiff just a certain way, and her eye lids lowered in focused causing her pretty hair to fall in her face; tickling the bridge of her nose. Rikku watched as Paine fiddle with her lighter.

Rikku was staring at her.

Paine wished she wouldn't.

It made her feel a mix of things. Maybe Rikku was staring because she didn't recognize this Paine, maybe she was watching so intently because she was surprised, disgusted.

"Open the window, will you?" She asked Rikku who snapped out of whatever trance she was in and crossed the bare room to the attic window. A cool evening breeze swept through and Paine quickly got the joint lit while Rikku fussed with keeping the window open.

Paine inhaled and coughed alarming Rikku. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um, it's a little normal."

"Coughing up your liver?" Rikku asked sitting on the ground beside Paine again. "Do you smoke it like a cigar? Pop's let me smoke one of those once."

"A cigar?" Paine asked trying to hide her laughter. "No, alright it's like… This."

##

Her body hummed, she could feel everything working. At first it was a little alarming at how easily her body gave in to the foreign substance, but once she relaxed Rikku found herself grinning at the simple fact that she was alive.

Rikku rolled the empty iced tea glass across the room and watched the evening light jump from it and bounce off the walls. "Pretty." She mumbled to herself as she watched it come to a stop when it lightly rolled against Paine's dark gray hair.

The room was getting darker but neither really seemed to mind. Paine lay on her back with her legs climbed up the wall at an angle; she was looking out the window from her spot on the ground when she felt the glass.

"You okay Princess?" She would ask every now and then. She turned to look at the blonde upside down as she asked this now. Paine had come to this conclusion that Rikku had the cutest dopey "I'm high" smile ever. A few minutes ago she couldn't get her to shut up, but now she had gone quiet and was obviously trying to get her attention.

Rikku crawled over to where Paine was and looked down at her. Her eyes were a little red but she seemed happy.

"What are you thinking about?" She finally asked.

"Nothing." Paine lied. She had also concluded that she couldn't trust her high self around the blonde. "What are you thinking about?"

"You." Rikku answered simply. She was still smiling down at Paine. "Y'know, I was thinking…"

Paine began to sit up. "Oh, so that's what you were doing."

"Mhm." Rikku nodded. "I was wondering how like, we are reversed…"

"Reversed? How so?" Paine sat up and pulled her knees to her chest.

"Well like, you know how we are supposed to act?"

"Like stereotypes." Paine nodded.

"Yeah, You're not supposed to be so smart or funny, or pretty I guess, like no one expects that but you're the exception, at least that's what I've been told." Rikku moved to sit across from her in the same position but with her back to the wall. "That's a compliment I promise." Paine chuckled. "I was just thinking about it because I feel like… like we are opposite; you should be a Princess, not me."

"You do realize that you are talking nonsense right?" Paine asked with a little smile.

Rikku nodded. "I know, but I was only thinking about it, you're the one who asked me what I was thinking about. You need someone to look after you."

"I can look after myself."

"You see that's your problem, everyone needs taking care of." Rikku informed. Paine shook her head no. Rikku only smiled at that. "I think you just aren't used to it."

"Could be."

"What?" Rikku asked softly after noticing Paine's features get thoughtful.

"I don't know if I can… "

"Let someone in."

"Not fully." Paine thought about all the wrong that had happened to her, and then all the wrong she made for herself. People were the common denominator. She had trust issues that didn't show themselves like normal. They were different, she was different. Sometimes Paine hated being reminded of that. She was still very much broken, it was just that now she had the glue and the tape. The new challenge came with putting herself together into who she wanted to be. It was harder than she thought, but the last year had proven it possible. "People have screwed me over… people who weren't supposed to."

"It must be hard to know me." Rikku giggled. "I'm always in your face."

"You make me do things that are good for me, even if I don't want to." Paine realized with a chuckle.

"I don't expect you to, not yet at least."

"What?"

Rikku shook her head as if changing the subject. "But then, what does it mean to let someone in? Is that a sex innuendo?' She screwed up her face in thought.

Paine laughed then shook her head and moved to lay back down, a wave of euphoria just having hit her. She watched from her spot on the ground as Rikku crawled over to her chest of oils and pencils and pulled out a few tubes of colorful paint. She studied the blonde like one would a rare species; with yielding curiosity, she was too afraid to get too close in fear of scaring her off, no Paine was fine where she was, on the ground.

Rikku watched some bright red paint ooze out of the painter's base and onto her finger like toothpaste. Usually, she would add a touch of water to thin the paint out, then and only then would it be ready for a brush. Her fingers were the perfect applicators for the thicker solution though.

Paine lost track of time and was pulled out of her haze when Rikku made a small squeak of surprise, giggling soon following after. Paine turned her head to look at what had kept the blonde so occupied and didn't know if she should laugh or be concerned.

"Princess, you got a million and one blank sheets of canvas and you use the floor?"

Rikku hadn't stopped giggling yet. Fingerprint smudges of different colors were all over the floor in front of her like fallen confetti. Four empty painter base tubes lay at her sides. Rikku's small hands were no longer tan, but a mish mash of colors.

"Pai, look what I did!" She motioned proudly to the work of art on the wooden floor.

Paine went over to her and pretended to examine the artwork thoughtfully; this only caused Rikku to giggle more.

"Mhm, I like the arch you have here." Paine pointed to what she assumed Rikku thought was a rainbow. "However, I cannot extrapolate this segment here." She pointed to a brown blob that looked like a mixture of all the colors. "You are quite the artist Rikku Bayla." She laughed as Rikku tried to smudge some more paint onto the ground.

The blonde tried to control her laughter to speak. "I feel pretty funny…"

"Finally kicked in all the way huh?" Paine watched in her own hazy world as Rikku nodded and pressed her hands to her cheeks to try and still her spinning world. Paine laughed more. "You got a little paint … All over your face."

"Now you do!" Rikku reached out and poked Paine's nose.

"Hey!" Before she knew what had happened she and Rikku's faces were covered in paint and they were both laughing like idiots.

"Time! Time out!" Rikku called trying to catch her breath. She let up a few coughs as Paine tried to control her breathing.

"Mph." Paine mumbled as she laid herself down on the floor completely. She reached her left hand out and lightly ran her paint stained fingers across the wood. "We should clean this before it dries all the way…"

"My mouth is all dry." Rikku whined as she tried to smack her lips together.

"… Or our faces, we should wash our faces…"

"I want juice!"

"What if your father just shows up?"

"Come with me to get juice." Rikku said pulling herself up and kicking Paine playfully.

"What about the floor?" Paine asked still not making a move.

"Get up get up, you'll hurt it!" Rikku bent down in a panic to help Paine up.

"What? Hurt what?"

"The floor Paine, the floor!"

Paine looked down at the wood beneath her socked feet. "Oh."

"It must be lonely being the floor… it must hurt too, forget a doormat, because what if you go on vacation? The doormat will be fine, but floor? Well it's everywhere. Everywhere they get, y'know poopied on." Rikku rambled as she dragged Paine downstairs.

"Don't you mean stepped on."

"That too!" Rikku shook her head in disgust. "It makes me sick Paine, the mistreatment…"

Paine was about to laugh, but then she really thought about it. "Socks get shit too…"

"Claustrophobia is common."

After getting something to drink the two set about the task of trying to get the paint off of the studio floor.

Well Paine was at least. She couldn't help feel a little paranoid. She was in Rikku's house, Rikku's very expensive house, Rikku's father was a fucking lawyer, Gippal's lawyer, what was she thinking?

As her thoughts spiraled her scrubbing got less and less intense. Finally she just stopped.

"No one ever comes up here anyway." Rikku said as she "washed" her hands in the soapy bucket Paine was using. "You're stressing over nothing."

"I'm not stressing…I'm being cautious."

"Stressing." Rikku wiped her hands dry in her shirt a little and chuckled."C'mon get off the floor, there is a whole world out there waiting to be grop— I uh, mean, explored." Rikku nodded quickly to herself and stood. She was a bit shaky but that was only because if she moved to the left slowly she could catch the last bit of sunlight reflecting off her forgotten iced tea glass.

Paine snapped out of her paranoia at Rikku's words. "No, we're not leaving this house."

"What?" Rikku stopped swaying. "Why not?"

Paine stood and dropped her scrubbing brush into the soapy bucket of water. "Because you're high."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are." Paine chuckled. "There are plenty of things to do around here."

Rikku crossed her arms. "I've lived here for years! There is nothing to do, trust me." She began to pout. "Paaaiinnne."

"Well let's get out of this room then…" Paine ushered Rikku out and they ended up in Rikku's brothers room.

"You must miss him."

"Yeah, sometimes." Rikku nodded running a paint stained hand over his dusty dresser. "He was kind of a dork, but I liked him."

"He doesn't visit because of your father, but your father is never home."

"Just being here makes him uncomfortable… he was going to be a lawyer y'know?"

"Really?" Paine moved about the dusty room looking at the forgotten tools and blitz things.

"Mhm, But he loved blitz and machina, he would spend hours taking things apart and put them back together, Pop's didn't like that one bit."

"Does he like you and your art? Cause I do, you're really good."

Rikku shook her head. "It's a hobby."

Paine watched her from across the room. "Is that what you think?"

Rikku shrugged. "I don't have much of an excuse, Brother got his… Maybe if Pops had another kid."

"That's ridiculous."

"It's a family business for a reason Dr. P. I don't expect you to understand."

"Right, what do I know." Paine shook her head and Rikku frowned she opened her mouth to say something but Paine cut her off. "So how come Auron is so high up? Are you related to him?"

Rikku closed her mouth. She now understood the expression "ruining my high."

"No." She said simply and for a brief second Paine was proud at her ability to cause the same emotion she had just felt.

But that was only for a brief second.

"Has he been around?" Paine asked carefully. She stayed on her side of the room.

Rikku plopped down on the bare mattress. Her father had been so upset when Kirill left he didn't even bother turning his room into a guest room like threatened.

"You can't do that." She said looking over at Paine.

"What?"

"Make it hurt then try and make it feel better, it's mean."

Paine was a little surprised that she had caught that. Then again this was Rikku, she was way more observant than given credit for. Paine was careful to move slowly to sit on the large bed with Rikku. She bit on her lip nervously before speaking.

"It just happened, I didn't mean to say it…"

Rikku looked at her. "But you did."

"I know."

"Just don't do that, it's confusing." Rikku made the bold move of scooting closer to Paine. She had her knees hugged to her chest while Paine let her legs stretch out in front of her. "You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. I thought you were like that."

"I am, it's just that you, you make me nervous sometimes." Paine admitted. She wanted to hit herself for sounding so lame. She was never smoking with Rikku ever again if it meant spilling her guts at the first batted eyelash or whispered word from the blonde. "Then I just say the first thing to protect myself, it's stupid I know but…"

"From me? I can't hurt you, you're a black belt!" Rikku giggled lightly.

"You could though." Paine nodded.

"How? Wait, I don't want to know because it's never going to happen. You're my friend Pai, _my_ friend. I don't hurt friends."

"Okay."

Rikku yawned. "I'm hungry but sleepy at the same time…"

Paine chuckled. "That's normal too."

##

"Strange addictions has nothing on you." Paine chuckled.

Rikku licked her fingers clean of the raw cookie dough. She giggled. "Forget baking them; let's just eat it like this!"

"Rikku, we put egg in there." Paine laughed as she tried to open a bag of white chocolate chips.

"So?" They had washed their hands and faces and after Paine refused to go out in the rain to get cookies, Rikku decided that the next best thing would be to bake them. "What other option do I have?"

"You could bake them, like a normal person." Paine motioned to the oven she had preheating.

"Have you met me? I'm far from normal."

"_Far_ from it." Paine agreed earning her a playful glare from Rikku.

"Your hands look better." Rikku noticed after Paine added a handful of white chocolate chips to the dough.

Paine ate a few of the chips before looking at her knuckles. There still was some scaring but nothing too ugly. "Just in time for work." Paine nodded.

"Mhm." Rikku folded the chips into the dough and then searched the drawers for an ice cream scoop. "Y'know… I don't think I feel very high anymore…"

Paine chuckled. "You sound disappointed."

"Maybe a little." Rikku began scooping the cookie dough out onto a sheet tray with parchment paper on it.

##

"It's raining hard." Rikku said quietly as she moved from her spot near the window. She was holding a mug of her father's expensive coffee and a half eaten almond and white chocolate chip cookie.

Paine sat comfortably on the crimson colored loveseat. The room was no longer fresh with the smell of marihuana and paint, but cookies and coffee. It was soothing, and Paine caught herself yawning even after getting through half of her coffee.

"Can I ask you something personal?" Rikku asked as she came to sit next to Paine.

"Hm." Paine nodded as she chewed on a cookie.

"Do you think that you would ever, relapse, like do you think that's possible? Is this too personal? I'm sorry." Rikku quickly blurted out when she saw a look of surprise on Paine's face.

Paine chased the cookie with some coffee from her own mug and looked at Rikku for a second. "It's possible." She shrugged. "Highly unlikely but one never knows these things, why do you ask?" The question surprised her only because she had never thought of it before. Sure she knew it was possible, but what would happen if she actually did go back to her old ways? Paine shook her head at the thought. It would make a lot of people happy, but not herself, and in the end, you only had yourself.

"I was curious." Rikku said simply.

"That's quite a specific curiosity."

"Well I was just thinking about change, if people can really and honestly do that."

"People are always changing Rikku; no one ever stays the same."

"You really believe that?" She asked looking at Paine.

"I do." Paine nodded. "I'm living proof, if you met me two and a half years ago I guarantee you would want nothing to do with me."

"I don't think so."

"I know so."

Rikku shook her head no. "My job would just be a little harder."

Paine chuckled to herself and continued eating her cookies in silence. "I better get going soon." She finally said once she caught sight of the time.

"Go where? It's pouring out there."

"I'll be fine."

"You'll catch a cold."

"No, I won't"

##

_**Three Days Later**_

Paine sneezed and then winced. Her nose was too sore to be sneezing like this. It was around 10:30 at night and she had just gotten out of the hospital. She felt like turning around and admitting herself. Her eyes were watery for no fucking reason, and her nose was red. Some of her new co-workers had taken to affectionately calling her Rudolf. Since she had a cold she was stuck doing boring admin work, which just pissed Paine off even more.

Her mood brightened a little when Rikku picked up her phone.

"Hey sicky." Rikku greeted kindly. "Did you just get out?"

"Mhm." Paine nodded as she made her way down the street. She cleared her throat. "How was your day?" She attempted.

"It was okay Pop was home today…. You sound worse than yesterday." Rikku wore a worried tone.

"I feel like shit." Paine agreed.

"They won't let you take off one day?"

"I just started working Rikku, what in the fuck would it look like if I took off a day?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who told you to go out in that storm; in fact I was the one saying the complete opposite, so no cursing at me."

"I'm sorry." Paine sniffled again. "It's just every morning I wake up thinking I'll feel better, then I actually get up and I want to die."

Rikku frowned. "What did you eat today?"

"Waffles."

"And?"

"Syrup?"

"Are you kidding me Paine?"

"What?"

"It's no wonder you are not feeling better. When is your next day off?"

"This weekend for my birthday."

"Where are you?"

Paine looked around. "By the bus stop."

About ten minutes later Rikku pulled up in her car. She was wearing a brown coat over her pink pajamas "Get in."

They argued the entire way to Rikku's.

Well, it was more of Rikku yelling at Paine.

"—and for some reason you seem to think you don't have to behave like every other sick person and take medicine and drink water!"

"I don't know what you want me to say." Paine grumbled from the passengers seat.

"I don't want you to say anything." Rikku said firmly as she put the car in park. Paine let herself be pushed around by the shorter woman. She really couldn't put up a fight, she was too weak, plus if she was yelling that meant she cared right?

"I thought you said your father was home?" Paine asked as Rikku took her jacket away from her and she stepped out of her shoes.

"He went out with Uncle Brasaka and Auron, he won't be back, and if he is it will be really late."

Paine sneezed again. "Oh." She wanted to talk to Rikku about how she was doing, but she just didn't have the strength. Rikku saw this and ushered her upstairs.

"What time do you work tomorrow?"

"11."

"Well here is a towel; you know how to work my shower and stuff?"

Paine nodded and stopped Rikku with her words as she moved to leave the room. "You don't have to take care of me."

Rikku said nothing; she only sent Paine a look that she couldn't quite read before leaving the room.

##

Rikku watched her sleep. Yes, it was a little weird but she had just fallen asleep one, and two, how could one not?

Paine lay in Rikku's bed with the covers pulled up and around her neck. She looked even paler now, Rikku thought as she watched Paine breathe irregularly. Her nose had been stuffy even after the herbal tea Rikku made her drink.

Rikku had never really seen Paine sleep like this. She never made noises when she slept before yet now at every exhale she sounded lightly. Rikku brushed some of her hair away from her face and smiled at Paine's long dark lashes. She was beautiful, even when sick.

She leaned forward and hesitated before placing a feather like kiss on her forehead. "cmaab famm" she whispered as she grabbed her teddy bear and left the room for the guest room.

The next morning Rikku purposely woke up early. She checked on Paine, who, as she suspected, was still asleep. The blonde tip toed about the room and used her father's shower. She was downstairs eating a bagel dressed casually in grayish purple sweats and a cream colored top.

Rikku checked her kitchen clock for the time and nodded to herself. She would wake Paine up in thirty minutes. Rikku thought back to her behavior the night before. She had been upset. It reminded her of the boxing gloves incident. If Paine didn't have to work, then she would have had the time to rest up, but she did have to work, unlike Rikku, who had a small portion of her fathers paycheck directly routed into her bank account. Rikku shook her head at herself.

Here she was, perfectly healthy and doing nothing while Paine lay sick in bed having to work another twelve hour shift.

The front door began to jingle open, and for a second Rikku was scared it could be Auron. When she heard Kimahri's familiar giddy bark behind the door she knew it could only be one person.

"Yunie." Rikku smiled at her always well put together cousin. Rikku bent down and rubbed kimahri's fury head and received a few doggie kisses in return.

"Wow you're awake." Yuna smiled and then frowned. "I've been calling your cell…"

"Oh, it's charging in the guest room." Rikku nodded and closed the door behind the duo.

"Why in there?"

"Well Paine is sleeping in my room and I didn't want my alarm to wake her." Rikku led the way into the kitchen where she was eating breakfast.

After locking her dog in the den where he couldn't knock over anything expensive Yuna followed Rikku into the kitchen even more confused.

"Paine, alarm?" She watched as Rikku poured her orange juice. "You always sleep in… and are you and Paine dating or something?"

Rikku got a little red. "No no, she's sick, I was just taking care of her."

"Like a good girlfriend." Yuna teased as she took a sip of the juice she had just been given,

"Yunie stop, she may hear you." Rikku looked toward the stairs.

"What would be so wrong in that? You are like impossible to reach these days because you two are always together. You mean to tell me she hasn't said anything about the way I catch her looking at you?"

"No." Rikku busied herself with toasting a bagel for Paine. Her alarm styled coffee pot had started to brew coffee, which meant it was nine forty five, and time to wake Paine. "I don't blame her though."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm damaged goods Yunie."

Yuna furrowed her brows. It was the first time hearing Rikku say something like that. She wanted to ask what she meant by it, but she didn't. Rikku had promised she would tell her if something was wrong. Yuna wanted to do the right thing and wait, but something in her felt her patience running short.

"I know for a fact Paine doesn't think that."

Rikku only sighed. She didn't know what Paine thought. Every time she asked if she liked her Paine would fidget and then over use the word friend.

"Well anyway, I have to finish walk Kim, I just thought I'd bring in your paper for you." Rikku watched as she put the folded newspaper down. "If you're lucky I will sign it for you."

Rikku laughed and promised she would frame it. Right after Yuna leaving she climbed the stairs to her room. It was still dark and cool, thanks to Rikku pulling in the shades. Paine still lay in the same position on her back. She almost didn't want to wake her up, but she had promised Paine she would.

As Rikku neared the bed she thought about why she was even doing this to being with. It had come down to a plain and simple answer.

She cared.

Rikku shrugged, she had to let it be. Its how she felt, it's not like she could change it. Paine tugged at her core by just being her. It was scary, yet exciting, dangerous, yet rewarding.

The little smile Paine gave Rikku when she opened her auburn eyes was definitely reward enough. "Morning, how yah feeling?" Rikku asked in a soft voice.

Paine was pretty sure the medicine Rikku gave her the night before was making her loopy. It was the only way to explain away the calming happy feeling she felt when she realized where she was, and who was waking her up. Paine mumbled a good morning as she began to sit up. "I feel a little better." She admitted. This seemed to make the other girl happy.

"Good!"

Paine winced at her voice.

"Oh." Rikku giggled. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Paine rubbed her face. "What time is it?"

"Breakfast time."

Paine looked around for Rikku's alarm clock only to find it missing. "It's like three in the afternoon isn't it?"

"No, don't you have just a little faith in me? I moved it, and I'm not telling you the time till it's time to leave."

"Why not?"

"Because, I said so." Rikku smiled proudly.

Paine only sighed and then coughed. "I feel like I look horrible." She ran a hand through her hair and then cupped her own cheek. Rikku chuckled, it was as if she was checking if she were all still in one piece.

"You do." Rikku nodded. "But you still look beautiful so… yeah," She made a quick excuse to leave Paine until she was showered and dressed.

Paine changed quickly into her freshly laundered work clothes which consisted of a dark green polo with the hospitals name on it and then black slacks. When she was finally dressed she went downstairs to find Rikku flipping through a newspaper at the breakfast nook. "Yunie and Lulu made the front page of the style section! Eat that." Rikku pointed off to a toasted bagel with rosemary butter and fruit on the side. Next to the plate was a mug with coffee in it, a glass of orange juice, and a napkin with two pills on it.

Paine was quiet as she took the pills and washed is down with orange juice, "Why are you doing this?" She finally asked.

"It's Yunies first article in the New Luca Times Paine, she hand delivered it herself while you were asleep, I gotta read it, it's the rules."

"No, I meant me" She didn't want to come off ungrateful; Yevon knows last night had been one of the best sleeps in a week for Paine. She just felt like maybe Rikku thought she couldn't take care of herself.

Irrational thinking, Paine knew this. She still felt uneasy though.

Rikku looked up from the newspaper. " I wasn't aware I was doing anything _to_ you, you don't deserve."

"Yeah but… I feel bad."

"Why?"

"Because, you had to take care of me."

"I don't mind it Paine."

"I do."

Rikku sighed and put the newspaper down she reached over to Paine's full plate of food and picked it up along with her coffee mug. She walked over to the counter and placed them there and then turned to Paine. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get out."

Paine stood. She watched Rikku carefully. "Are you serious?"

"This is how you think you should be treated right?"

"Rikku—"

"No, Pai all you had to do was say thank you, hell you don't even have to say it because I know you mean it. You can't just accept that I care? A lot of people in your life may not but I do, and all you do is doubt me, you don't trust me at all not to judge you do you?"

"That's not it." Paine took a few steps closer to her. "I do trust you, and that in itself is driving me crazy." Paine was too sick to try and beat around the bush here, plus that bagel and coffee smelt great.

"Why?" Rikku crossed her arms.

"Because I don't trust anyone." Paine took a second to cough. "I don't, not even the people I'm supposed to trust, but you just come along and… and you're right, I'm not used to it, so can you like give me a minute to get used to feeling this way? Just a fucking minute?" Paine began coughing again.

Rikku just stared. Had she just admitted to feeling a certain way about her? Once Paine's coughs died down the room was silent. Paine shook her head lightly and was about to just leave when Rikku turned around and handed her breakfast back to her. "Okay."

On the way back from dropping Paine off at work Rikku couldn't get her words out of her mind. Had she been so caught up in how she felt, or what she wanted that she didn't notice Paine having a hard time too? Realizing this made Rikku's stomach drop. She was always doing this! Putting herself before everyone or just getting caught up in her own little world. It blinded her to other prospectives. She wanted Paine to feel like she could come to her, just like she felt she could go to her. Maybe it was her earlier conversation with Yuna that hit a little nerve.

She _was_ damaged goods.

How could it not be harder for Paine? Look at how they met. Look at what was happening! Paine had always had to be the bigger person and put aside her own feelings about Auron just to help Rikku. It wasn't fair. Rikku frowned when she noticed a few cars parked on her street when she got back.

"Pop?" She called as she took off her shoes by the door.

"We're in here, Milan."

"We're?" Rikku asked herself as she moved through the house to the kitchen.

There, hugging a mug of coffee was her father dressed in his business attire. She noted that he wasn't wearing a suit which meant he would not be in court today. "You're up before twelve."

"I dropped Pa—" Why was she explaining herself? "What are you doing home so early? Late?" Rikku stepped further into the kitchen. She rolled her eyes at Leblanc scrutinizing the multi colored eggs in the fridge that Paine bought.

"Why are they painted?" She asked, her nose wrinkling slightly. Other than her shrill voice Rikku had to admit that Leblanc look decent today. No large obnoxious jewelry, her hair was in a neat bun, and her makeup didn't resemble a clowns.

"Easter has long since gone. I only know because Yuna insists on decorating my desk for each holiday." Braska stood from the breakfast nook and smiled at Rikku. "Of course I think I would forget the month if it weren't for her, good morning, Rikku."

Her uncle was a little shorter than her father, a little leaner too, but he smiled just like Yuna and was always trying to make jokes the girls would laugh at. She remembered only good things about the man before her.

"Morning Uncle B." Rikku smiled a little. Braska excused himself and that's when Rikku noticed Auron sitting at the breakfast nook reading the newspaper she left earlier. If he noticed her he didn't let it show.

"We are working on a huge case." Cid informed Rikku. "Just came onto my desk this morning, I figured it would be best if we spend all of our time here instead of in the office."

"Yes, the office doesn't have a kitchen." Leblanc nodded. She had given up on making breakfast and was pouring herself a cup of coffee. "We go to trial in…." She looked to Auron. "Auron?"

"A week from today." He sounded annoyed from being interrupted from the fashion show article.

"So… You're _all_ staying here?" Rikku asked glancing from Auron to her father.

"Originally we were to stay with Braska, but I figured it would be nice to be around you more, remember our talk?"

Rikku nodded, her body felt numb. She didn't know how to take the information being given to her.

"Talk?" Leblanc looked between the two.

"Don't worry, it wasn't about you, dear." Cid clarified. "Y'know, Rikku I feel this may be a great opportunity for you to get some hands on experience… What do you say Auron?" Cid turned.

Auron placed the newspaper down and looked through Rikku. It was odd looking at him now as he sat in their breakfast nook. He seemed different. Rikku shivered lightly. She wished he wouldn't look at her like that.

"A great experience indeed."

##

Paine yawned lightly as she exited the main entrance of the hospital. She had been able to take a nap in the on call room for her lunch break and she would be lying if she said it hadn't helped. Even with a pounding headache, and mountains of patient charts to code Paine felt her mind traveling back to Rikku at least every 15 minutes.

Paine knew things were changing, maybe a little too fast, or maybe she just needed to catch up. She wasn't sure. She never had a person like Rikku in her life; a person she wanted to treat nice and keep around, a person she liked.

Paine sighed at herself. "How the fuck did I let this happen?" She asked herself in an amused manner. She reached into her pocket to find a tissue. This cold had better hurry up and be gone.

Rikku wiped her eyes. "What the fuck?" She asked her image in the rear view mirror. "Can you please stop acting like a spaz?"

Today had been a long day.

A long day filled with Auron stealing looks at her and Leblanc annoying voice going on and on about some witness. Even her uncle had to take a break from the room. Cid wanted her there though, learning the family trade. She tried saying no and sneaking off a couple of times but he did a good job of sending someone to look for her if she were gone too long. When it had been Auron… Let's just say Rikku didn't wonder off anymore. She couldn't shake the weird vibe she got from him, she had always gotten a "vibe" from Auron, but today it had been different, sinister almost. It was heavy, a little too heavy.

After driving around for hours and wasting an entire tank of gas Rikku found herself parked and waiting outside of the hospital. It had only occurred to her that this may have been a little too much after Paine saw her car and began approaching.

She rolled down her window and smiled. Paine smiled back as she leaned against the car.

"How much?" Rikku asked cheekily as she leaned her elbow outside the car and looked Paine up and down.

Paine actually laughed at that, her laughter turning into a small fit of coughs. "What are you doing here?" she finally asked lightly.

Rikku shrugged. "I'm picking you up."

"News to me."

Rikku shrugged again. She didn't want to burden Paine with what was going on at her house. Not when she smiled so openly when she saw her.

Paine pulled herself off of leaning on the car and walked around to the passenger seat. She noticed the box of tissues in between them. "What's going on?" She asked it casually as if asking what was up.

"Long day, I don't really want to talk about it just yet. How was work?"

Paine nodded. "Was okay, I got to nap today."

"Good!" Rikku glanced at Paine before looking back onto the road. "Are you hungry? Can you pass me my phone right there?" She asked motioning to her cell phone with one hand on the wheel. She waited till she was at a red light to text someone. "Hungry?" She asked again. Paine shook her head no.

"I'm just tired."

"Well you can stay with me again…" Rikku thought about it for a second. "Though that would be sort of… Difficult. You want me to drop you home?"

Paine nodded. "What's going on at home?"

Rikku sighed. "A huge case came in today and everyone is over for the week."

"Everyone?" Paine asked catching on.

"Yeah."

Paine cleared her throat a little. "You're going to stay at Yuna's right?"

"Pops wants me helping with the case."

They were quiet for a little while. "You want me to come over tomorrow?" Paine asked carefully

"You work tomorrow though."

"I work from nine to four tomorrow."

"Which way?" Rikku asked. Paine motioned to the right and she put on her indicator. "We can have dinner at Yunies if you come over then."

"Okay."

"You're not worried?" Rikku asked after five minutes of silence. She really thought she would get a different reaction. Maybe Paine was just too tired.

"No. Are you?"

"Yeah, I've been crazy all day." Rikku chuckled it off.

"You must be tired then. Go home and sleep. Lock your doors and stuff." Paine pointed left and Rikku turned. "I don't think it's too safe if you drive through here alone, just pull over here."

"And let you walk home in the cold, Paine it's a car, if anyone tries something I'll run them over."

Paine didn't protest, Rikku was going to do what Rikku wanted to do. She could tell the blonde was getting a little anxious though. It was cute how she tried not to show it. "Right here?" Rikku asked pulling up to the end of another shady street. The house was large, but dingy looking. Rikku imagined it looked nicer in the day time.

Paine nodded but groaned when she saw who was sitting on the stoop.

"Oh, perfect. Well, I will be going now." Rikku chuckled as she watched Paine and Gippal exchange looks.

Paine looked back at Rikku as she unbuckled her seat belt. "You don't want to come in for tea?" She jested.

"No way." Rikku smiled. "Night, Dr. P."

"Night, Rikku."

**AN: Are you guys still there? I hope so! I also hope everyone had an amazing holiday season. So what do you all think? Review and let me know. **

**KathleenDee**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Gippal stood to greet Paine. "Dr.P."

"Gip." Paine said coolly as she fished her pockets for her house keys.

"How ya been?" Gippal asked. He picked the cigarette bud out of his mouth and squashed it onto the floor. "Haven't seen you around lately…" He watched Rikku's break lights come on down the block before her white car disappeared.

"Well I work now, Gippal." Paine finally got the front door open. The two entered the main entrance and took the right staircase that led to their apartment.

"What's up with Cid's girl dropping you home? She workin' too?"

"No." Paine said simply.

They opened the door to find Wakka and none other than Lulu herself, arguing in the kitchen.

"You tell me diss now ya? Now!"

The two turned around and Lulu's eyes got a little wide when she noticed Paine, but that was as far as acknowledgment went.

"Seems like everyone is learning a little something today." Gippal commented as he crossed his arms and looked at Paine.

"I'm leaving." Lulu announced.

"Ah yeah, walk away ya? It's what you do right?" Wakka sounded more hurt than angry.

Lulu stopped and looked at him, they seemed to be having some kind of eye conversation. Then she left, just like that. Wakka sighed loudly and followed after her. "Lu, hold on ya?"

The front door closed and Paine went back to her mission to get as far away from Gippal and his questions as possible. "You could have told me you liked her." He called after Paine from the bottom step. "I would have laughed but I would have backed off." He added.

Paine was frozen on the third step from the top. She turned around and looked down at him. "I thought she was your dream girl?"

"I mean…" Gippal was queit for a second. "She obviously chose you over me, not sayin' I'm happy about it. You know how much Panty Droppers cost?" He chuckled then returned serious. "So?"

"I didn't know I did."

"But you do though?" He climbed the stairs between them, "Like… you like like her?"

Now even though she had never really told Gippal about herself she supposed he always knew. He _was_ her best friend after all.

"Yeah."

"Does she like you?"

Paine shrugged, this morning coming to mind. "I think so."

She couldn't read his face for a second, but then his trade mark grin showed itself. "So, did you hit that yet?" He asked excitedly.

Paine rolled her eyes and coughed a little. She continued walking up the stairs. "Why is that the only thing that you think about?"

"Uh, because she's hot, now the Gipmister can take rejection." He followed after Paine as he spoke. "And quite honestly I rather let someone I know get it if I don't."

"Stop talking."

"Damn! It all makes sense now, Taboo… Dr. P, you're good. Hm, not at as good as me though, I can have her eating out the palm …heh heh, eating out."

Paine turned around. "Would you shut the fuck up? Gippal blinked "Just because I like her, doesn't mean I want to hook up with her." She turned to go into her room but Gippal followed taking his usual seat at her desk. Now usually Paine was a bit snappy, especially on days she didn't work out with Walker, but Gippal knew there was something else there. He could tell now just like he could tell at Taboo when he let her leave to cool off.

"What does it mean then?"

Paine shrugged out of her jacket and turned on her tiny space heater. It was always a little cold in her room. "I don't know." She admitted as she straightened a few things before sitting on her bed to face Gippal. "We just hang out."

"Hm." Gippal nodded. "So you gonna ask her out?"

"What! Why?"

"Girls like that liked to be asked out Dr.P."

Paine began to cough. "Well I mean when we go places I pay most of the time." She thought aloud.

Gippal shook his head as if the idea was the strangest thing he had ever heard. "Do you wanna _just_ hang out forever?"

Paine shrugged, "It's been going okay so far. Listen Gippal, although I find your advice amusing—" Gippal smiled. "Sometimes." He frowned. "It's not that simple."

"Why not? Girl meets girl, girl checks out girl's boobs, girls hook up…it's really simple actually."

Paine sneezed and Gippal passed her a tissue from the box on her dusty desk. "Not this one. I don't wanna talk about it ok?" Paine asked tiredly and Gippal immediately got what she meant.

He nodded then motioned to the tin waste basket near her bed filled with tissues. "What are you sick or somethin'?"

"Yeah."

Gippal stood. "I'll make you a consumé." He announced as he left the room. Paine rubbed her face and debated taking a shower. She was pretty sure she smelt like hospital, but she knew someone had to have used all the hot water by now. A cold shower at this time at night, with her cold didn't sound like a good idea. She went to wash her face and when she returned she got to her room just in time to catch her phone ringing.

She sniffled. "Hey."

"May I speak to Paine please?"

"Yuna?"

"Paine? Wow you sound really different."

Paine took a seat on her bed. "Yeah, I've kinda got a cold."

"Rikku told me. Well I wanted to call you to congratulate you."

"For what?"

"The article in the paper. You haven't read it?"

"No, I've been at work all day. It's good then? Rikku told me your meeting went well."

"It did! Oh everyone loved the stills. There is talk of another show, but we aren't even sure. Lulu has been busy lately, with her graduation and all."

And arguing with Wakka. "Right."

Yuna paused. "Actually I called to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Rikku, has she been, acting weird lately?"

"Weird how?"

Yuna shrugged to herself. Now that she thought about it Rikku had been acting a little strange for a while now. It was only since she met Paine that the behavior had increased. "I'm not sure, she said something today that has been bothering me all day. I'm worried."

Paine didn't know what to say. "She seems stressed about this new case her father is working on…"

"She knew before today?"

"Uh, I don't know."

Yuna's voice changed. "You would tell me if something were wrong right? I know she talks to you a lot."

"If there Is anything to tell, I'll let you know."

Yuna hesitated. "Okay, I would invite you to yoga but you must be tired. I will see you tomorrow for dinner?"

"Sure, okay, bye." Paine hung up feeling guilty, whatever Rikku had said had really worried the brunette. It had to be something about Auron.

"Gippal made me consumé." Paine spoke into her phone as she lay down to sleep that night. Her room was completely dark and between Rikku's quiet voice and the hum of her space heater Paine was able to drown out the noise from the street below.

"It must be nice living with your own chef." Rikku curled up under her blankets in her room. On the phone she tried to sound normal enough, Paine was too drowsy off her medicine to notice a change. In real life though, the blonde was shivering, and glancing at her locked door every few minutes.

"He works a lot, I hardly see him sometimes." Paine admitted to feeling a little sad about it, but then running around with Gippal would probably just get her into trouble. For a while the line was quiet, Paine had lost the fight with her eyelids and now started battling her brain. "You're scared." She observed from Rikku's silence. "He won't do anything to you while your father is around if he's smart." She tried to reassure; her words only confirming that Rikku in fact wasn't safe.

"Pops is sleeping though…"

"Rikku, what did I tell you?"

"No matter how yummy they are, jelly beans do not count as a meal."

Paine chuckled quietly. "Besides that."

"You won't let anything happen." Rikku sighed as she said it. It sounded good, but Paine was across town hopped up on Benadryl.

"To whom?"

"To me."

"See? I don't know why you are worried, I'm a black belt remember?"

"I'm beginning to think you are just making that up."

"Why do I have a belt then?"

"You don't have one, where is it?"

"In my room, where else would it be?"

"I don't believe you."

"Psh, fine then, don't." Paine rolled onto her side and pulled her sheets around her. There was a draft somewhere in her room. "I lied to Yuna today."

"About?"

"About you, I don't know how, but I think she knew I wasn't being honest. Have you thought about telling her at least?"

"I almost did this morning."

"You just didn't know how to say it." Paine finished for her. She could imagine how hard it must be for Rikku to admit to such a thing, but at some point it would be too much for her little shoulders.

"I feel like I can never go back if I say something."

Then Paine said something that settled with Rikku. "Why would you want to go back?"

##

She had drooled on her cell phone. "Ew." Rikku grumbled as she rubbed her eyes and looked down at the ended call screen. Had she fallen asleep on Paine? She didn't remember saying goodnight so she must have.

It was around 10 am and the overworked coffee pot downstairs had stained the air even in Rikku's room. She could hear them all talking. If today was going to be anything like the day before Rikku didn't want any part in it. She looked back down at her phone and noticed she had a new text from Paine around 5 that morning.

_**So I don't know who fell asleep first but I woke up with you snoring in my ear. Thx**_

Rikku chuckled to herself before checking the time and texting back.

_**I do not snore! :)**_

As Rikku calculated the drop from her bedroom window to the ground where her car was parked she received a text back.

_**U so snore, it's worse than Wakka**_

_**Now you're just being mean**_

_**Alright alright, it was kinda cute**_

_**Me snoring? weirdo **_

_**U were just making noises**_

_**Cute ones? So does this mean u think I'm cute Paine?**_

_**Maybe**_

_**Huh….**_

_**Huh?**_

_**Oh it's just what I say when I hear things I already knew lol**_

_**You're so full of yourself lol**_

They texted back and forth throughout the day, the pauses in between lasting anywhere from 2 minutes to an hour. Rikku was certain it was the only thing that helped her through most of the morning.

"What do you think we should do, Rikku?" Braska was clad in brown slacks and a cream colored button down. Surely Yuna's doing, there was no way her father would be walking around looking average. Not when she was in the paper.

"Prep the witness next week, and then readjust cross examination?"

For a minute there she had actually forgotten that she was majoring in Pre Law.

"Not bad, darling." Leblanc nodded. She was on what had seemed to be her tenth cup of coffee. It was really starting to show in her eyes, and her inability to sit still. Rikku would have found it funny if Auron weren't beside her looking like a hungry fiend.

Cid turned to Braska. "You see that B? She's a natural."

Rikku smiled at her father's words.

"Let's not get a head of ourselves. Will Montgomery won't testify. He's running for office again."

"Oh, hmm, that does poke a hole in our defense…" Braska rubbed his chin. "William Montgomery, Juliann, can we get a file on him?"

"Yes, of course."

Rikku looked back down to her legal pad on her lap, She should have noted something about W.M somewhere here. "Don't feel bad, remember this lecture?" Auron asked from across the room. Rikku had seated herself between her father and her uncle.

"No." Rikku admitted not meeting his eye. Auron made a comment about not being surprised.

"Ah, Auron leave her." Cid shook his head. "He's a horrible teacher right Milan? It's okay you can say it now." Cid chuckled and Auron only stared at him before returning to his notes.

"It's one thing to play lawyer Cid, another to actually know what you are doing so well that you can teach it." Auron spoke clearly and for a minute the room was quiet.

Braska cleared his throat. "You two are at this again? I thought we deiced that we need both the chocobo, and the egg."

"Truly dear, it takes quite the effort to teach these days, they'd let anyone in the university."

Auron nodded in agreement. "Scholarship funds are taking away from prestige."

"It is called higher education for a reason."

"You both sound ridiculous." Rikku blurted out.

"Milan." Her father warned. "Ideas, and opinions can never be judged."

"So you're saying you agree with them, Pop?"

Cid rubbed his chin. "No and yes, When you are older and have children of your own you will understand wanting the best for them."

Rikku couldn't believe her ears. Braska must have read her expression because he was quick to pick up where they left off in their notes.

_**Is it five yet?**_

Rikku couldn't fight the smile on her face when she received the text from Paine half an hour later.

"What do you make of that Cid?" Braska asked with a smile as he watched Rikku texting on her phone. "You think it's in the air or something? Mine gets that same way."

Cid chuckled shaking his head. No one really noticing Rikku's blush except for two people.

Auron Gaurrd and Juliann Leblanc.

##

"So what do they have you doing over there anyway?" Yuna asked as she washed her hands off in her kitchen sink.

Paine looked up from peeling the mini artichokes Yuna purchased at the Whole Goods store earlier that day. She was prepping them to be roasted along with a few other Italian vegetables then put into the risotto. "Uh, well right now they've got me doing admin because of the cold I had, but I was hired to assist in general rehabilitation."

Yuna nodded while drying her hands. "Wow, I didn't know you were into that kind of work."

Paine shrugged. "It's the shortest degree program."

"Lots of science." Rikku piped up from her spot near the sink where she was put to work by grating a block of pecorino romano cheese.

"I know." Yuna nodded. "it's very science intensive."

Paine shrugged again. "I like science."

"What do you plan on doing with the degree when you are done?" Yuna asked curiously. "Which reminds me Rikku, we have to go dress shopping for Lulu's graduation dinner."

"Mhm." The blonde nodded. She smiled to herself as Paine talked about being a personal trainer or owning her own gym. Despite the long day spent ignoring Auron and mulling over her legal pad, Rikku found herself happy with everything right in that second. She was in Yuna's warm kitchen with some of her favorite music playing in the background while she and her two favorite people cooked a meal together. There was nowhere else she'd rather be.

"… Then if all else fails I can always work as a PT or continue for my Masters." Paine finished.

Yuna nodded. "I got out of not having to walk in this last show, but I may need a personal trainer for this next one."

"So you talked to Lulu then?" Rikku asked.

Yuna began measuring out dried rice. "We have been tossing around ideas, now that we have the networking ability; this next show is going to help a lot more people. Oh! Paine did I tell you the finals numbers on how much we earned for those charities?"

"No." Paine put the vegetables in the oven on a sheet tray to roast quickly. "Did I bring in some cash? Or did I almost flash the crowd for nothing?"

The two cousins laughed. "It wasn't that revealing." Yuna finally said.

"Yeah, Yunie, sure." Rikku chuckled at the look on Paine's face as she pinched a pile of shredded cheese and put it into her mouth. "Paine's business was all out there." She laughed when Paine gave her a look.

"Well Paine wore it with pride."

"That's right." Paine nodded. She was feeling better today; not quite a hundred percent, but she didn't feel like dying and she only had the sniffles.

"We raised just a little above 5,000 dollars. This next show will be bigger and better though."

"What did you get as final grade?"

"An A of course." Yuna smiled.

"When you get in The Times there is no other letter worthy." Rikku joked eating more cheese. "I was ready to frame the article, but Auron had his grubby hands all over it at the house." Rikku shook her head then frowned when she noticed the little smile on Paine's face disappear.

"Do you need another copy?" Yuna asked missing the entire thing.

"Yeah, please."

"I'll remember, I have the stills from the show if you all want to see them. Paine?"

"Yeah, sure." Paine nodded.

"I'll get them now, we can look at them while those are roasting." She pointed to the oven. Yuna put the rice aside and stepped out of the kitchen.

Rikku left her mountain of cheese and stepped closer to Paine and then leaning on the counter. "So, how was work today? You sound better."

Paine sighed lightly; it wasn't lost by the blonde. "It was alright. Yeah, I'm feeling better."

"What's wrong?" Rikku asked in a quiet tone, she inched forward.

"Yuna thinks he's this great guy doesn't she?"

"Who?"

"Auron."

Rikku crossed her arms, not in defense, but to stop her body from shaking, she didn't like hearing his name. "We've known him forever."

"Right."

"Is that what's wrong?"

"I don't like lying to her, it bothers me more than I thought it would. She cares about you, she'd understand Ri."

Rikku let go of control of her arms and let them fall to her sides. "Can we not tonight? I had to spend all day with that creep and I just wanted to relax with you… both, because I know when I go home he's going to be there again. I don't want to think about it."

Paine sighed again and said nothing. She was sure he look said it all. "Oui Pai, don't be like this." Rikku mumbled grabbing onto Paine's forearm and rubbing it gently; she took a step closer to her. "Am I being selfish?" She asked in a whisper. Paine could feel herself shiver from the closeness.

"A little."

Rikku fought her smile and that in itself made Paine smile. "I'll tell Yunie soon."

"Tell me what?" Yuna asked, she chuckled as the two jumped away from one another. "What's going on in here?" She smirked looking between Rikku and Paine.

##

"This is so good." Rikku moaned as she took another mouthful of her vegetable and cheese risotto. They were seated in Yuna's dining room listening to the end of a short spring shower through the one open window.

"I'm so full." Paine sat back in her seat and sniffled before looking down at Kimahri lying directly under her chair. He had fallen asleep there when he realized Paine wasn't giving him any over her dinner.

"I don't know where you put it, Rikku." Yuna shook her head. She grabbed her glass and sipped from it. It was one of her favorite white wines.

Rikku chuckled. "You guys are wimps."

"You're on your third bowl." Paine shook her head at the blonde sitting across from her.

"So?"

"Are you going to yoga tomorrow morning?" Paine asked.

"Uh oh." Yuna chuckled as Rikku pretended to glare at Paine.

"What are you trying to say, Paine?"

Paine grinned. "Maybe you need to work out after eating so much…"

"Sorry we can't all be born looking like models."

"Me too."

Yuna laughed. "You two are too much." They laughed and talked all night. Not once did Paine bring up Auron again and Rikku was glad she hadn't because as they put on their jackets to leave she could feel her stomach twist about with nervousness. The other night she was able to sneak up to her room without anyone noticing now however, she couldn't. She knew where everyone would be. Auron, Braska, and her father would all be in the den with the doors open. If they were confident with where they were, they would be smoking cigars, if not, they would be up studying case files and eating pastry. In either case Leblanc would be lounging in the formal living room with her own manila folder.

"Are you sure you don't want any to take? We made a lot."

"No its okay I gotta watch my weight around Ms. Super model here." Rikku elbowed Paine's leather jacket clad side.

"Okay."

"Good night Yuna."

Yuna smiled at the duo. Paine was ushering a sleepy Rikku along to the passenger side door. "I wanna drive." Rikku could be heard whining.

"You'll kill us." Paine answered in her usual tone. It made Yuna laugh. They were cute, but Yuna was weary, something was up with Rikku, and Paine knew.

"Princess, just give me the damn keys." Paine sighed as Rikku searched her large expensive hand bag.

"Okay, okay, but only because I'm sleepyish."

"Alright." Paine nodded and got into the driver's side. "Buckle your seatbelt."

"Yes ma'am." Rikku nodded. She rubbed her face and didn't even bother turning on the music. She needed to clear her head for when she got home. It was around eleven at night and the streets were clear.

She glanced to her left and watched Paine drive; her profile made prominent by the Victorian styled street lamps they passed. She was grateful that Paine had taken over, there was no way she could keep her eyelids open long enough to drive. Even though she felt herself dozing, her mind wouldn't stop.

"Paine." She said quietly.

"Yeah?" Paine glanced at Rikku in the dark car. She was curled up leaning against the window looking back at her; her face featureless in the dark save for her hooded green eyes which flashed green every time they passed a light.

"Will you stay over tonight?

Paine was quiet. She knew that since the guest room would be taken that she would have to share a bed with Rikku. She also knew that Auron was just down the hall.

"Yeah."

"What time do you work tomorrow?" She asked once thy turned onto her street.

"Twelve to five." Paine put the car in park and for a second neither of them moved. They both knew as soon as they stepped out of the car they would be in the real world again. "I'm nervous." Paine admitted with a breathy laugh as she took off her seatbelt.

Rikku looked at her curiously. "Why? Pops?"

"Well yeah, and your uncle."

Rikku chuckled. "Well I talked to Pop's about you before—"

"You what?"

"Well I had to say something when he asked me about you. Y'know Auron prolly tried to fill his mind with all kinds of nonsense."

Paine didn't move for a second. She only looked ahead of her through the windshield. Small droplets of water started to drop softly onto the windshield and slid to their deaths between the window wipers. Suddenly the envelope Rikku handed her came to mind. It was a copy of her file, it had been sealed meaning that Rikku hadn't read it, but that had to have meant that he shared it with Rikku's father. They did have access to these things. Paine shifted in her seat. She glanced back at Rikku who was cutely rubbing her eyes and waiting for her to say something. "What did you say?"

Rikku shrugged. "I just told him that I started hanging out with you… That we got along well and that I didn't care what Auron thought because he doesn't really know you."

"And you do?" Paine glanced back at Rikku when she asked this. She had been holding onto the steering wheel lightly.

Their eyes locked as Rikku spoke. "I think so."

"Oh yeah?"

Rikku tilted her head and smiled. "Yeah… I know you still haven't told me things, but I don't think those things change your character." Paine sighed and pulled her hands from the wheel. "You're still Paine."

Paine was quiet for a second. "I don't know who that is." She admitted. "I don't know." She shook her head. "Not anymore." Her auburn eyes hid from Rikku's thoughtful gaze. Who was she if she wasn't who she was…. It kept Paine up most nights when she wasn't on the phone with Rikku. Before it never seemed to matter, but now that Paine had the means to think about these things, they haunted her.

"I don't recognize myself, in the mirror." Rikku admitted. "Of course that would require me to look at myself first but…" Rikku looked down at her knees embarrassed. Had she really just admitted that out loud?

"I wish you would." Rikku looked up at Paine's words. "You'd get to see what I see." Her tone was just a bit quieter than before but the sincerest she had ever heard it.

Rikku looked away grateful that the car was dark enough to hide her blush. "Anyway, you shouldn't worry about what Pop thinks, because it only matters what I think."

Paine chuckled. "I thought it only mattered what you think of yourself."

"No no no, Dr. P, it only matters what I think." Rikku joked as she reached for the door. She and Paine laughed as the approached the front door.

Paine began to sniffle however when they entered the house. The strong aroma of cigar stained the air and even Rikku's nose twitched.

She led Paine through the hallway quietly after they took off their shoes. She wasn't at all surprised to see that Leblanc had fallen asleep in the formal living room; stacks of folders at her feet and her dark rimmed glasses on her breast. Paine watched as Rikku tip toed around her; moving her glasses and covering her.

They moved throughout the house and were just about to make it up the stairs when they ran into Braska returning from the restroom. He smiled at Rikku and then looked at Paine oddly for a second. She didn't seem to fit in until he placed her. "Ah, Paine Kerrigan, It is nice to finally meet you." He extended his hand and Paine shook it awkwardly.

"Uh, Hi." She searched his face carefully, he looked rather familiar.

"Yuna wouldn't stop talking about what a great job you did with the show. Thank you."

"This is Yunie's Pops." Rikku explained noticing the confused look on Paine face.

Paine nodded; she offered the other man a smile. "I see it now."

"We just came back from Yunie's, Uncle B.'

"Why didn't you bring her along? It seems there is a storm heading this way. I would hate to leave her home alone." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Or maybe I will just go, your father is cheating again in that Al Bhed card game."

"Cbytac!" Rikku chuckled.

"That's the one! He knows I don't speak a lick of Al Bhed."

"Maybe you should just try and learn, Paine understands it,, right Pai?" Rikku turned to Paine.

"Is that so Paine? You think we can be on teams next time? Maybe we'll beat team Bayla. Auron is a shitty partner."

"Am I now?" Auron asked in amused voice as he rounded the corner. His slight smile fell and his face hardened at the sight of Paine.

"Rikku Milan?" Cid wasn't far behind him. "Home at last, hm?" He smiled at his daughter cigar in hand. Apparently they all had been drinking a little, for her uncle and her father's faces were a little red. Auron's eyes were brighter too.

"Mhm," Rikku nodded ignoring Auron and looking to her father. "I went to have dinner with Yunie and Paine, and Paine is staying over."

"Hi, I'm Paine." Paine put her hand out for Cid and Cid smiled and took it.

"I feel like you live here, Paine, though you seem to be always having just left when I arrive. It is nice to finally meet you."

"Are you leaving now?" Paine asked causing both Cid and Braska to laugh.

"They're celebrating." Came a raspy voice of Leblanc. She had awakened with all the noise in the hall right before her. "Something we haven't even won yet." She seemed annoyed at the three. Paine could understand why, but that didn't mean she liked her still.

##

Her head had hit the pillow over an hour ago and yet she couldn't fall asleep. The steady rain from outside picked up, and the voices from the men downstairs had gotten quieter, even the quiet breathes over the small mountain of pillows beside her had turned into light snoring.

Rikku had fallen asleep.

Paine sighed quietly to herself and moved around a bit under the soft sheets. She didn't know how the anxious blonde had fallen asleep so quickly while she lay awake just as anxious as Rikku was. Having Auron so close didn't sit well with Paine. He seemed to be bothered by her presence too. Paine could make out his heavy steps in the hall on his way to the guest room. They paused just before Rikku's locked door and she found herself holding her breath just as she assumed Rikku would. Paine didn't know how long Auron stood there for, but eventually she could hear them fade, and then a door close somewhere down the hall. She shook her head and tried to get comfortable again.

At some point she must have fallen asleep because she awoke to a loud crackling combined with a squeak of fear.

Paine rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked about the room. The rain from earlier had picked up and transformed itself into a full on storm just like Braska had predicted. The trees near Rikku's windows swayed and rattled, and the gusty wind could be heard sweeping through some poor insulated area of the house.

This seemed to be the only change in the room. The door still appeared shut, Rikku's bat leaned up against the wall near it. Her desk, her books, the windows. Everything seemed in order to Paine and she sniffled as she tried to get comfortable again. Another loud crack of lighting illuminated the room and that's when Paine heard her.

She sat up and looked over the pillows between them at the helpless mess of blonde hair curled in a ball. The blanket was bunched where her hands made fists and her head was completely burrowed from the world. Paine immediately felt pulled to her it was the same tug that she felt when she saw Rikku crying in the rain the first day they met. It twisted her gut and made her body jump to action. "Rikks… Rikku." Paine rested a hand on the blonde shoulder and she flinched under the covers.

"Paine?"

"Yeah, Princess, what's wrong? Why are you all—" Just then loud thunder could be heard and Rikku shook violently. "The storm?" Paine concluded. Rikku's head nodded. She finally poked it out after Paine stayed sitting up and rubbing her shoulder.

"I don't like lightning." She said weakly. She turned on her back to look up at Paine.

Paine nodded. "Okay." She said quietly. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" She asked looking around briefly. If Rikku was scared she would protect her, but how do you protect someone from something that wasn't really going to hurt them? She stared ahead in the dark room for a second to try and think of something.

"Just lie down with me." Rikku whispered after watching Paine look about the room. She imagined Paine wouldn't know what to do, that's why she tried to keep quiet.

"Like, close?" Paine asked in her quiet tone. Rikku nodded up at her. She watched as Paine slowly moved aside the pillows between them and pulled her pillow next to Rikku's. "This will help?" Paine asked a little unsure of herself. She felt nervous as she lay down beside Rikku: their shoulders flesh against the others. She never had to do this before. She never thought of comforting someone like this.

RIkku didn't say anything for a while.

"When you're close, I don't feel so scared." She finally admitted as she stared up at the ceiling. Paine's body was warm beside her, and she was surprised at how her breathing evened out even as the storm raged on outside. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay."

"You probably think it's silly; being afraid of weather?" Rikku turned her head to look at Paine.

"A little." Paine smirked in the dark when she heard a stifled chuckle from the blonde. Paine shrugged a minute later. "I don't like heights…"

"Yeah, but that's normal."

"I guess you're the weird one then." Paine let a smile slip onto her face as she turned and met Rikku's gaze. They seemed to easy the blondes nerves; Paine's smiles.

Rikku smiled back and closed her eyes. "Thank you." She whispered, if Paine were lying on the other side of the bed with the pillows between them she wouldn't have heard it, but she wasn't she was close, very close.

Paine watched her for a second; appreciating the curve of her tanned face, before getting a little comfortable and whispering back. "Any time."

The next morning they both woke at the same time to loud knocking on Rikku's door. Rikku rubbed her eyes and whined before noticing Paine had just pulled her right arm from under her neck. The blonde blinked and rested her hand back to where it had been on Paine's flat stomach. Paine was lying on her back looking confused at how they slept. She didn't remember putting her arm behind Rikku like that, she didn't remember Rikku curling at her side and putting her arm about her midsection. She didn't remember it, yet here she was. They looked at each other and Paine was about to say something when the door knocked again.

"What?" Rikku called as she moved away from the warmth that was Paine. Paine in turn sat up and ran a hand through her hair.

"You are blocking me in, darling." Came Leblanc's less than enthused voice. Rikku got out of bed and opened the door. "Your car."

"You're leaving?" Rikku found herself asking.

Leblanc tossed her hair back and adjusted her blouse. "Yes, you're father and I are running to the office."

"Oh." Rikku nodded. "I'll get my keys."

##

Paine chuckled. "You're ridiculous." She shook her head with mirth in her eyes as she and Rikku descended the stairs once they were dressed and ready for the day. Neither had brought up the cuddled position they woke up in, but did they have to?

"How!" Rikku laughed loudly. "It could work, no?"

"No."

They're laughter stopped abruptly when they got to the base of the stairs and saw who was eating his breakfast in the kitchen.

Auron looked up when he first heard them coming down the stairs. "Good morning." He greeted Paine and Rikku as they slowly made their way into the kitchen.

"Morning." Rikku mumbled. Paine didn't say anything. Rikku turned to her. "Do you want cereal?"

"I'm not hungry." Paine said glancing over at Auron as he ate comfortably.

"C'mon, you have to eat something."

"Fine, cereal." Paine wasn't sure what she was feeling. Rikku didn't seem at all bothered that Auron was sitting less than a couple feet from her. See this is where she grew confused. Was it all an act? She began to question everything she had known about the two. It made her feel sick being in the same area they were both in.

Paine leaned against the counter with her arms crossed as Rikku pulled out two bowls and the frosted mini wheat box.

"So…" Auron began. "Did you receive my package, Paine?"

Rikku froze; she was really hoping Auron would just keep his mouth shut.

"I did." Paine answered unfazed.

"What did you think?"

"I didn't think anything." Paine knew her record, it was after all hers. She was reminded of it every day.

"No? Nothing at all?"

"No."

"Hm, has Rikku seen it?"

Paine shrugged. "She hasn't asked to." Not that it was any of his fucking business.

"Seen what?" Rikku finally asked as she turned to hand Paine a spoon.

Paine opened her mouth to respond but Auron spoke up. "Who she really is. Y'know, it's quite amazing how well you have tried to fit in here when you and I both know it's not where you belong." Auron stood.

Again Paine was going to say something but Rikku beat her this time. "Leave her alone."

"Oh, isn't that sweet." Auron mocked glancing from Paine to Rikku, his eyes narrowed, he had just caught something he hadn't noticed before. Irrational rage built. "So you go from fucking me to fucking her?"

"Hey." Paine pushed herself off the counter. She wasn't sure what she was going to do or say but she did know that she didn't like him talking to Rikku like that.

"Why are you so obsessed with Paine? You know you are mad at me, _leave her alone_." Rikku huffed placing the milk down on the counter.

"I know she's put things into your head. Why else would you stop taking this for that."

"You're fucking delusional." Paine shook her head. How come she had never seen this before? "Maybe she just doesn't want to see you anymore?"

Auron shook his head no and looked at Rikku, his face hardening more to get his point across. "Feeding her ideas on how you didn't like it? Rikku let's be honest here."

"I made a mistake." Rikku said firmly. "You, were a mistake." It took everything in Rikku not to cry or have her voice break. Having Paine and Auron in the same room was a nightmare. She wanted to protect Paine's view of her, but the more Auron spoke the more doubt she could see rise in Paine.

"You say that now, but I know what you really like, what you want." He looked to Paine. "She can't do anything for you. She's a bad day away from becoming the drug addict she was before she knew you. Do you really think she can protect you like I can?" Auron shook his head no. "You have everyone fooled Kerrigan, even Cid. He's got his head too far up Juliann's ass to realize that his daughter is being corrupted by some—"

"Enough!" Rikku yelled. She really couldn't take it anymore and judging from Paine's pale fists neither could she. Rikku dared not look at her face. Just then the front door opened and Cid and Leblanc could be heard talking amongst themselves.

Paine could feel the rage build in her, she knew if she didn't leave now she would truly lose it. She hadn't felt this out of control in a long time. Cid was here. Rikku would be fine. She needed to leave.

##

Rikku sighed. She knew Paine was off of work by now. "Hey, it's me, are you ignoring me too now? You just left… I want to see what your plans are for tomorrow. Call me back." Rikku hung up and groaned. The morning had started out so well. Now she wasn't so sure. Her phone began to vibrate and Rikku picked it up a little to quickly. "Pai."

"Yeah." Her tone was neutral; Rikku didn't know what to make of it.

"Hey, did you just get out?"

"I'm at the gym right now, I got to leave early." Paine wiped her face with the small complimentary towel. She was just warming up when she noticed her cell phone had a two missed calls.

"I wanna talk."

"I'm at the gym." Paine repeated. There was no way Paine could possibly begin to talk about anything unless she worked out. She had been itching all day for this; her release.

"Okay well…"

"I'll be here for a few hours."

"Will you call me when you get out?"

"Yeah."

"Promise?" Rikku winced at how desperate she must have just sounded.

Paine shook her head. "I will." She hung up after saying bye and then turned to look at Wakka. "Let's go."

"Who was dat ya?" Wakka asked, he was clad in a black sleeveless shirt and blue basketball shorts. He wasn't wearing his usual armguards but was wearing black boxing gloves. They stood in the twenty four hour boxing club near their home. The place was rich with the smell of sweat and not as well kept as their gym on campus but the gym was closed for maintenance and neither wanted to travel all the way downtown. It was around seven at night. "Oh wait let me guess ya? Rikku eh?"

Paine shrugged. "Yeah." She worked on tying her boxing gloves. "I missed a few of her calls…"

"What you in the dog house or somethin'?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talkin' about the dog house. You mess up or somethin'?"

Paine thought about it. "I don't know." She finally got her left glove on. It was always a little loose unless someone tied it for her. "What about you and Lulu?"

Paine watched as Wakka's little grin deflated. "Let's just work out ya?"

"Yeah fine, that's why I'm here." Paine threw a hard jab to Wakka's left glove. "No talking." Wakka fell into stance and they began to spar.

An hour had passed and Paine still didn't feel calm enough for words. She didn't know how she got like this sometimes; so wound up, so tense, so needy. Her body wouldn't let her stop. The first jab didn't do it, the second neither. They had before, a year or so ago she could work out for thirty minutes and be fine for days. Not recently, it wouldn't do. Paine bit at her lip and sniffled, she backed up when she coughed on something salty.

She wiped the blood from her nose.

"You alright?" Wakka looked on with concern. The round had gotten a little heated and Paine went into that place she always went when they sparred. This happened sometimes. She could never explain it.

Paine put her gloves back up. "I'm fine."

"You wanna take a break or somethin' ya? Wakka still didn't put his gloves up. He had never met anyone like Paine. She was the weirdest girl he knew, but they were friends, probably one of his closest these days.

Paine tried to control her breathing. She yanked her hands down, wiped her nose again with the back of her glove. She looked at the bit of blood there and sighed. "Yeah." She bit at the boxing glove strings and soon was able to take off her gloves. She and Wakka walked over to their things and sat down on the rickety bench. They were silent as they wiped their faces and watched another couple begin to spar in their previous location.

"Lu's pregnant." Wakka finally said.

Paine turned her head and looked at him in surprise. "Are you sure it's yours and not Satan's?" Paine asked causing Wakka to laugh, she laughed too. He looked like he needed a laugh. Hell she needed one too right now. She didn't want to cry.

Wakka leaned his weight playfully on Paine. "Watch it, ya?"

They settled down and returned to quiet before Paine spoke again. "I like Rikku."

"Anyone wit eyes could see dat ya?"

"What are you going to do?"

"She doesn't know, and I can't really say somethin'. It's her body, she's crazy eh? But I love her. I want her to… I don't…"Wakka's voice broke just a bit. "I don't know what to do." He looked down at his rough hands. "I don't know if I could provide for her like she's used to. Den a kid ya? I never had parents, I don't know, what if I say somethin' dat screws him forever ya?"

Paine sighed. "I know what you mean."

Silence.

"So are you and Rikku…?"

"What?"

"Lady friends?" Wakka asked with a grin.

"Christ." Paine laughed. She rubbed her face with her hands. It was strange how easy it was to talk to Wakka. He was the mellowest guy she knew, he always kept to himself just like Paine had. She wondered if that's how it was so easy to say something to him and not worry where it would end up. Gippal couldn't keep a secret to save his life, bless him. "No, things are complicated."

Wakka waved her off. "Dat can only be your excuse for so long ya? Den you gotta start being mature, trust me I know."

"Are you and Lulu together?"

"No, but when were we ever really?"

"True."

"Figure things out ya?" Wakka nodded at Paine as he stood. "Den tell me how ya did it."

"I think our situations are different."

"Yeah, but ay, they kind of the same to huh?"

Paine watched Wakka walk off towards the locker rooms. She opened her bottle water and took a sip before pulling out her cell phone. She found Rikku's number and pulled the phone to her ear as it rang. "Hey, it's me." She answered Rikku's hello. "I'm done here, do you wanna meet up?"

##

Something had happened.

He knew it, he could feel it in everything he did, everywhere he went, the air he breathed. Change was about him. Auron wasn't sure how, he just knew that he didn't want to let it go. What it meant to have that power, over her, over Cid. It would be his greatest triumph yet.

Somehow the rules changed, she no longer smiled, he no longer cared. They both needed something and sought out the other to get it. Had it been wrong? Of course it was. But it was the wrong that helped it feel right to him. It helped push him further. It made him greedy.

Before Paine, coaxing or blackmailing Rikku had been easy. Now though, he risked a lot.

A new game was to be played.

He found himself being bolder than before. It scared even him at times. Cid had always had it all though. Why couldn't Auron? He was going to show him why he deserved to run things, be on top. He was going to rip the rug from under him so fast that he…

But first, a drink was in order.

Auron hid the legal files in his briefcase that would bring Cid Bayla down in tomorrow's court hearing. There was no going back now. He had already planted evidence in his desk. Auron calmly untied his tie and placed it in his glove compartment before stepping into Mahoney's; the quiet bar on fifth and Harding. With Braska away and Cid finished, he would be the only one left able to take over the legal offices of Bayla and Shaw, and his first order as leader would be to appoint a new secretary, one that under the circumstances would have no choice but try and help clear dear old dad's name.

"Sake, up on the rocks."

**AN: Oh no! What is Auron up to? Review and find out!**

**KathleenDee**


	14. Chapter 14

****AN: This Chapter is Rated M****

**Chapter Fourteen **

It was a nasty habit.

But as Paine sat picking at the healed skin of her left hand she reasoned that it was a lot better than a lot of things she wanted to do right now.

Rikku had been over at Yuna's when Paine got out of the gym. Somehow she beat the blonde home and was now left waiting on the grand front steps of the Bayla residence.

She had calmed down considerably from working out, and the access time waiting on Rikku gave Paine some time to get her head straight. She wasn't one for talking through things, processing out loud just wasn't her thing. Rikku was that kind of person though. Rikku would want and explanation. Not because she wanted to make Paine feel bad about it, or blame her in some way, it was just how she processed things.

Paine had to keep reminding herself this.

She could open up to the blonde, she didn't have to fight her and push her away. It was still scary though. One glance to her right on the stoop beside her made her stuff her hands into her jacket pockets and calm down.

She could fuck this up.

Whatever _this_ was.

A flash of headlights could be seen rounding the corner and soon Rikku's car came into view. Rikku's face was hard to read in the dark. Her hair was pulled into a messy pony tail and she was biting her bottom lip as she pulled up to the curb.

Paine stood quickly picking up the large envelop and brushing the invisible dirt off of herself. She watched as Rikku got out of the car and paused then took her time getting over to the steps. "How long were you waiting?" She asked fiddling with her keys.

Paine shrugged. Did she seem nervous too? "Not long."

They stood there awkwardly for a minute. Rikku accidently dropped her keys and they both reached down to get it resulting in their heads colliding. "Ow!"

"Damn." Paine rubbed her head. "Sorry."

Rikku rubbed her head. "S'okay." She offered Paine a little smile before sitting down on the steps. "No one is home the day before a trial…"

"Oh." Paine sat down beside her. It was nice night out and for a minute they both just enjoyed it.

"You just left." Rikku turned and looked at Paine. "Why?"

Paine took a breath and tried to recall what she had planned to say. "Well I uh, I…hm…" She closed her mouth silently cursing Rikku's eyes. She had forgotten what she meant to say.

Rikku seemed to take that as an answer. "He was rude to you, I'm sorry. Maybe I should have done something…"

"No, it was good that I left."

"You looked upset."

Paine nodded. "I was." She ran a hand though her hair and reached out for the envelope at her left. "But it wasn't because of you." Rikku watched carefully as Paine hesitated before pulling a small stack of papers out. "He wasn't lying to you." She pushed the papers gently into Rikku's hands and held her breath as Rikku took them, glanced at her, and then began reading. The night was just bright enough for Rikku to begin reading. "No, Rikku, read it." Paine pushed when Rikku stopped and looked at her.

"I told you I didn't need to—"

"No, I need you to though." Paine sighed and looked away from Rikku. She rubbed her jeans and stretched out her legs. "I want to… To show you."

Rikku looked back down at the legal notations near cases. She already knew how to read a sheet like this. It was Paine's profile. Her eyes widened slightly at a few charges made only two years ago. "It started getting harder." She commented, and out of the corner of her eyes she could see Paine nod. There was an obvious spike in the data.

"Until—"

"I see it." Rikku said looking to the attached medical chart from her overdosing incident. She frowned at the date. "You were lying in a hospital bed on my birthday?"

Paine looked from up the street to Rikku. "I've been clean since then." She needed her to know that. Paine rubbed her legs again.

"So it was like your birthday to, huh?"

Paine nodded. "I guess so… If you are getting me something I'd rather get it tomorrow though."

Rikku smiled. "We'll see." She put the papers back into the folder and handed it to Paine. "I'm glad you felt you could show me."

Paine sighed taking it from her. Rikku chuckled as Paine sat on the envelope and fell quiet. "I'm still not okay." She rubbed her shoulder as if cold. Had that gone too easily? Weren't there supposed to be more questions? Why wasn't she asking more questions?

"I know." Rikku said quietly, "and Auron knew, that's why he brought it up this morning."

"Yeah. I got mad because, I didn't want you to ever know that Paine."

"You've made it so far Paine. Me, I'm only starting. Will you still like me when I've changed? When I'm not so… me?"

Paine looked at Rikku. Her words had been hurried then slowed as if Rikku was scared of her own voice. "There is nothing wrong with you." Paine made sure to emphasize every syllable. Rikku looked away. "Nothing except…" She steadied herself for the truth. "Your strange addiction to the weirdest candy ever."

Rikku began to cry startling Paine. When Paine moved closer to her she grew even more confused when she saw that Rikku was laughing too. Paine chuckled and didn't hesitate to wrap Rikku into a hug. "Oh, Princess, you aren't okay are you?" Rikku laughed more and shook her head no.

That was the only thing wrong with her in Paine's eyes.

Jelly Beans

##

When was the last time she had sex again?

Paine was wondering this as she pretended to be watching TV in Rikku's room. She couldn't tell you what was on TV, she could however tell you what color underwear Rikku was wearing.

They were a silky baby blue

Paine averted her eyes and stuffed popcorn into her mouth as Rikku stood from bending in her bottom drawer. Could she really be blamed? She wasn't at all blind to that fact that Rikku was gorgeous. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Rikku sigh. "What's wrong?"

Rikku shook her head. "I can't find my other sock…" Rikku waved about one knee length brown sock with large pink poka dots. "The other one has to be here somewhere…"

"Why do you need those?"

"I wanted to wear them to sleep."

"Why?"

Rikku turned toward Paine and looked at her oddly. "Because my feet get cold… You're getting crumbs on the bed." Rikku pointed.

Paine looked down to the one popcorn kernel that had escaped her grasp. "Oh wow, such a mess." Paine rolled her eyes.

"It is. Clean it up Pai," Rikku turned back looking for her sock, she chuckled when she heard Paine getting up and grumbling. Her laughter died though and she was brought back to her thoughts on the night. She frowned. Rikku hadn't exactly left Yuna's house in a good place. Telling her cousin about Auron had to be the hardest thing she had ever done. Just the look of confusion and of shock on Yuna's face was enough to kill her. She hadn't said anything the whole time. Even when Rikku said she had to leave the brunette only nodded. It needed to be done. She owned it to Yuna, and she owed to it to Paine. Hell she owed it to herself. The strange thing was that the weight she thought would be lifted was still there, even more so. It was so heavy that Rikku pushed telling Piane about it back. She needed a few hours to space out. Paine had helped without knowing it by suggesting they watched a movie. Rikku turned around quickly when she heard a vacuum being turned on.

"Happy?" Paine asked over the noise as she proceeded to vacuum the one piece of popcorn off of the bed.

Rikku couldn't help but laugh at her. "You are so dramatic."

"Me?" Paine asked laughing too. She turned off the vacuum. "You are the one who was all. Ew it's messy clean it up now. Chop chop" Paine clapped.

Rikku growled and threw her sock at Paine. "I don't sound like that!"

Paine picked up the sock. "Now your feet will freeze." She balled up the sock and stuffed it into her pocket.

"No!" Rikku lunged forward and tried to grab it from Paine. "Paine c'mon!"

"No." Paine laughed as she took the sock out and held it high in the air. "Here take it."

"You are so mean!" Rikku said trying to jump for it. She quickly got the idea to climb on the bed and tried for the sock. Paine was to fast though and yanked it away. "Paine!" Rikku tried to sound mad but her amusement was the only thing Paine saw. She grinned as she continued to move the sock just out Rikku's reach.

"What happened Rikks?"

"Bitch." Rikku laughed as Paine lowered the sock away from her again.

Paine feigned a look of surprise. "Now you're never getting it back!" Paine turned to leave but Rikku jumped onto her back from on the bed. Paine was thrown off balance and the two knocked the vacuum over as Paine hit the ground first.

"Oh my gosh Paine? I'm sorry—" Rikku paused as she tried to get a look at Paine's face to see if she was hurt. Paine began trying to wriggle out from under her. "Oh no you don't!" Rikku laughed when she saw the big grin on the other woman wore. Rikku rose to sitting position on her, and started tickling Paine's exposed sides.

Her uncontrollable laughter was like nothing Rikku heard before. It had its own melody and was purest version of Paine Rikku had seen. Rikku found herself smiling even wider.

"Ri…Ri….Rik….Sto stop!" Paine laughed, her face beginning to turn red and her eyes watering. She managed to roll onto her side but that didn't stop Rikku who was giggling like an idiot at this point.

"So I found your kryptonite eh?"

Paine summoned everything she had and managed to grab Rikku's shoulder and roll her over so she was directly on top of her, and trapping her with her arms.

Something happened though, and they were both frozen. Rikku felt her heart jump at the look in Paine's eyes; her bangs had fallen out of place and her eyes were deep auburn. She was breathing heavy and Rikku felt a sharp force of energy shoot down her spine and settle between her legs when Paine shifted slightly.

Paine swallowed hard and quickly moved off of Rikku. She needed a moment to get the image of Rikku beneath her out of her head. What was wrong with her? "I'm still not giving you your sock back." Paine settled on after taking a nervous glance at Rikku.

Rikku turned her head and looked at Paine. "Pwease." She jutted out her lower lip and widened her eyes.

"No."

Eventually though, Paine gave in.

Paine smiled lightly but said nothing as Rikku moved aside for her to sit down on the bed. "There is no storm tonight." Paine pointed out as she rested her back against the headboard like Rikku was. The Al bhed picked up the remote that was sitting on her lap and un-muted the TV.

"You can't even sit next to me?" Rikku joked.

"Not when you're wearing one sock like a weirdo." Paine motioned to Rikku's legs that were over the covers; one bare, one covered by the brown and pink sock.

Finally they settled and sat there in the dark of Rikku's room comfortably. The only noise and light coming from an old black and white movie Rikku was watching. Paine had her head tilted back. She was oddly calm, like really really calm. Deciding not to ruin it by worrying about why she was so calm, Paine embraced it by closing her eyes and just being. As if the universe knew what was happening, somewhere on her person began to vibrate. She opened her eyes quickly and dug into her pocket. "Paine." She answered. Rikku sat at her side unaffected by the new noise.

"Eh, Doc, it's almost midnight, where are you?" Gippal sounded drunk and in an honest search for his friend.

Paine checked her time. "Thanks for the update."

"I thought we had plans, you standin' me up?"

"What plans did we have?"

Gippal was quiet for a second. "I meant to make 'em with you, I swear!"

Paine laughed to herself. "Unbelievable, it's my birthday and you are the drunk one."

"I'm at Shu's party, come."

"No." Paine said easily.

"Why? Where are you? You at the house?"

"No I'm—"

"Ooooh you're getting some huh? Damn I'm cockblockin' Dr. P guys." Gippal told whoever he was with. "Eh, hold on Dona wants to say Hi."

"No Gippa—"

"Happy Birthday."

Paine glanced at Rikku who was still watching her movie. She began to get out off of the bed with the phone. "You sound sober."

"Are you kidding me?" Dona let out a laugh. "I think Gippal is the only one who isn't."

"Sounds like him." Paine shook her head. She could feel Rikku's eyes on her now. "Put him back on the phone, D."

"Not before I say something."

"Fine, what?"

"Are you with that blonde from Taboo?"

"That's a question."

"Well I'm asking."

"Put Gippal on the phone."

She could just hear Dona rolling her eyes. It was a wonder they got along once. Well not that Paine thought about it one of them was always on something when they saw each other.

"Dr. P!"

"Gippal what the fuck?"

"What you two ain't friends no mor—" Something had just hit his drunk self like a ton of bricks. "You fucked Dona!"

Rikku raised an eyebrow; she had defiantly heard that one loud and clear. She didn't know why she felt so sad all of a sudden.

"Gip, sober up before we meet up okay? For your own sake." Paine hung up the phone and sighed. She placed it on the nightstand she was closest to.

They didn't say anything for a while.

"So that was Gippal?" Rikku couldn't resist.

"Mmhm." Paine nodded.

"That's nice of him to call you, even though you still got two hours."

"Yeah, he was drunk off his face." Paine shook her head. "At some party."

"You should go." Rikku glanced at Paine. "Don't let me and my boring movies keep you from having fun."

Paine looked at her in the dark, half her face was illuminated by the TV. "Nah," was all she said.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Rikku."

Rikku looked back to the movie. "So what are you going to do tomorrow anyway?"

Paine shrugged. "Gippal says he has it under control."

Rikku chuckled. "The same Gippal that's drunk at a party when nobody else is—" She stopped herself too late.

Paine looked at her. "You heard all that?"

Rikku nodded and they both turned back to the TV at the same time in silence. Rikku could see Paine running a hand through her hair and growing bothered in her peripheral. "What?" She finally asked.

"Nothing I just… y'know."

"So that's why she was giving me weird looks at Taboo, she likes you." Rikku was in good control of her tone, it still remained friendly, even though she really wanted to demand answers, she knew she couldn't. She had no right.

Paine kept her eyes somewhere between the TV and her stretched out feet. Well if honesty was her new game then she might as well just tell Rikku. "We, um, hooked up a few times a long time ago… Like longer than… It was just a while ago."

"Oh."

Paine picked at her hands and Rikku pushed her hands apart gently. "Like I was messed up right?" Paine looked over at Rikku who nodded for her to continue. "It was never about… caring or feelings or nothing… I don't even remember most of it and…." Paine just decided to end it there. "It didn't mean anything."

"But she thought it did?"

"No. Dona knew what it was, who I was. Who I am now, she just has this way… she's very manipulative. I honestly haven't spoken to her till a few weeks ago."

"Sounds like trouble." Rikku actually laughed to herself.

Paine relaxed considerably and leaned back. "You're telling me."

"So… have you, I mean dated other girls….?" Rikku found herself asking. She sensed Paine was in a place of openness and she wanted to ask before she closed up again and left Rikku in the labyrinth that was her mind.

"I've never really _dated_ anyone. Well if you discount Lai, we were really little though."

Rikku began to laugh. "No way! No wonder he's all 'Let's hang out' he's still into you, Pai."

"No no, trust me he's not."

"So did you kiss him?" Rikku asked.

Paine made a face. "Why is this important?"

"You did! You did!"

"He doesn't count." Paine concluded dryly which made Rikku laugh just a bit more.

"So you never like, went on dates?"

Paine shook her head no.

"Why?"

"You don't really do that where I'm from, and if you did it was seen as something serious right off the bat. I never wanted that with anyone." Paine glanced at Rikku at the last sentence. "What about you huh? You're grilling me, it's my turn."

"Me?" Rikku pointed to herself and Paine nodded. "Well, I mean I've been on dates, and was dating but…" Rikku shrugged. "I didn't feel anything."

"What do you mean?"

"Well y'know like, when he called I didn't get all excited, or if some guy texted me something sweet, it was just another text to me... and guys pick the lamest pet names… What's a shnookum?"

Paine chuckled to herself. "No clue."

"Then they just talked too much about nothing."

"Wow." Paine sat up. "Someone talked more than you?"

"Ha, ha, ha." Rikku rolled her eyes. She liked goofy Paine; she hoped she made an appearance more often. "It just didn't fit, nothing no magic, no friendship, no romance, no passion…"

"You've never thought about dating women?"

"No." Rikku bit her lip and then spoke again. "Not until recently." She watched Paine pretend to be surprised which made Rikku grin.

"Hm."

"Hm?"

Paine looked back at Rikku and smirked. "That's just what I say when I hear things I already know."

##

"Happy Birthday." Rikku sang quietly once she noticed the clock on her nightstand say midnight. Paine's face was in the pillow beside her. Rikku frowned at her closed eyes. "You're asleep, really?" She fell quiet and tired to listen to Paine breathing but she was such a quiet sleeper she had to stop her own to hear it.

Paine was lying on her stomach with her right hand underneath the pillow and her head facing Rikku. There were no pillows between them and Paine was close, but not as close as the night before. Rikku reached her exposed leg over to Paine's feet and touched her cold toes to her bare calve. Paine stirred.

"We'll find it tomorrow." She mumbled. She couldn't have been into a deep sleep. Rikku turned her head to watch the last five minutes of a movie and she turned back to see Paine sleeping, not deep at all.

"It's your birthday." Rikku whispered.

"Yaaay." Paine groaned.

Rikku only laughed quietly to herself. "Night Paine."

"Mhm. Night."

Sometime in the middle of the night Rikku's cell phone sounded. Rikku woke quickly and silenced it before glancing at Paine to check if she were still asleep.

"Hello?" Rikku whispered.

"It's me."

Rikku stumbled out of bed. "Hey Yunie."

"Did I wake you?"

"Uh, yeah, but its okay."

Yuna had been up all night thinking about Rikku's situation. She was disappointed in herself for handling it that way, she was just shocked. Out of all the things she thought might be wrong with Rikku, she never in a million years thought it would be this. "Oh, well I wanted to apologize to you—"

"No, it's okay."

"No." Yuna put her hand to her forehead. "I…"

"Yunie?" Rikku furrowed a brow at her cousin's broken tone.

"I should have been there; I should have known something was wrong. I did but, I should have tried harder." Yuna shook her head feeling a bit overwhelmed. "I just, I was so selfish, Rikku."

"Yunie, don't cry." Rikku frowned.

"You tried to tell me didn't you?"

Rikku sighed. "I didn't want anyone to know."

"Does Paine know?"

"She kinda walked in…when I was leaving his office once. That's how we met."

Yuna blinked away her tears. "Wow… Listen I know it's late, I needed to say this. Instead of leaving it the way I did."

"I'm glad you called."

"I want to talk to you tomorrow."

"I know."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too, Yunie."

Rikku hung up and got back under the warm covers. She curled herself into a ball Rikku closed her eyes, and tried to think of happy things. It didn't last though because beside her Paine began to move. Rikku turned to face her and frowned at how tightly Paine had her eyes closed.

"Pai." Rikku reached out and brushed her shoulder. "Paine?"

_Just one more hit._

_Paine rubbed her cold cheeks. January was so fucking cold this year. _

"_Where is everyone?" She had asked._

"_Out getting more. But see, I saved us this here."_

_Paine nodded in thanks and took the rolled twenty from his hands. She bent forward and inhaled quickly following the powder. _

Paine opened her eyes quickly, her breathing quick and shallow. She grew confused when she saw concerned emerald green eyes staring back at her and not her bedroom wall.

"Are you okay?"

Paine looked around then cleared her throat. "Yeah." She rubbed her face and then looked back at Rikku. "You're wide awake? You watching me sleep or something?" Paine chuckled softly. She needed to change the subject.

"You wish I watched you sleep." Rikku rolled onto her back. "I've never seen her cry since Ma died…"

Paine leaned on her elbow. "Who?"

"Yunie…. I told her tonight, before I came here." Rikku looked over at Paine. "Yunie killed her mom when she was born, so, she borrowed mine for a while…"

Paine nodded without saying anything. She wanted to know what happened when Rikku told her, but something told her that all Rikku wanted to do was talk. So she made herself comfortable to listen.

"Then… She died. She was crushed in an accident…. And Yunie cried. She cried more than I did." Rikku looked back to the ceiling. "You were right y'know, she isn't mad at me. I just wish I didn't take so long to say anything to her. She seemed hurt."

"You don't sound relived."

Rikku turned her whole body to face Paine. "I just have this feeling."

"A bad one?"

"Yeah, like it doesn't matter who knows, because soon it won't matter."

Paine grew troubled by her words. "Why are you thinking like that?" She asked softly.

"I can't help it. Something seems wrong…" Rikku scooted closer to Paine. "Like the weight is still there and it wants to crush too me or something."

"Shh." Paine moved her pillow a little closer to Rikku's in the dark. "No one is getting crushed."

##

Gippal grinned proudly. "So?"

"You took me to a fucking strip club?" Paine asked incredulously after taking her blindfold off.

He nodded proudly. "This is only stop one."

"Gippal, it's one in the afternoon."

"So?" Gippal grinned as he ushered Paine inside. "This place is open twenty four seven."

"Cause you never know when the mood will strike." Paine rolled her eyes.

Paine was the last to turn 21, and for as long as she could remember Gippal talked about all the fun they would have because he was going to plan it all. Now Piane wasn't really sure this was a good idea.

"This place smells like..." She crossed her arms as Gippal pushed her further into the club until the light from the street was no longer visible. You couldn't tell if it was day or night. Judging from the scattered early bird crowd Paine supposed that was a good idea.

" Don't worry what it smells like. So, I was thinkin' about what you said—"

Paine stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. "Tell me Gippal, when the hell have I ever mentioned coming to a strip club?"

"Easy, Doc." Gippal gently pushed her hand away. "Look, I was just thinkin' about you liking y'know… pussy."

Paine rolled her eyes again.

It was going to be a long day.

Gippal suddenly became bashful. "I just thought y'know you would like something like this since maybe you haven't gotten some in a lil' while kinda thing okay? We can leave."

"Great." Paine turned but Gippal grabbed her shoulder.

"I was just kidding, I paid in advance, one of us is getting a lap dance, damnit. Now pick one."

Paine looked between Gippal and the few of the barely covered women, then to Gippal again and then to the bar.

Since when did her vagina become his concern anyway?

##

"So… then I just started not to care."

Yuna nodded. "He didn't…. he didn't… Did he?"

Rikku sighed. "No, I always went. I can't explain why, that's why it's so hard to… talk about because…"

"But he blackmailed you."

"Yes but—"

"Rikku, that's just as bad."

They were silent. Just then Rikku's kitchen phone began to ring. She stood to get it.

##

They got up from the bar an hour later.

"I'll see you in 30 minutes." Gippal grinned as he got pulled away by a brunette with obviously fake breasts.

"So." The blonde smiled at Paine.

"Don't say anything."

Her voice wasn't light and feathery like Rikku's. Her eyes were bright though, and her tan, though fake, was just the right shade.

"Fine."

##

"Oui Pop's slow down. What do you mean where is he? He isn't with you?" Rikku grew even more confused as her father spoke. "No… Okay okay… Yeah I'll let you know."

"What's wrong?"

Rikku hung up the phone and turned to Yuna. "Auron never showed up for trial this morning."

##

Gippal lit a cigarette as he exited the twenty four hour strip club. He chuckled when he saw Paine leaned near the entrance with her arms crossed.

"Alright, not a good idea?"

Paine turned to him. "No."

"What? She have something?"

"Gippal, you are the biggest idiot I know." Two minutes into the lap dance Paine had bolted. She felt like throwing up, that's how sick she was. It just felt wrong, and all she could do was think about Rikku, which made it feel even worse.

"She kinda looked like Cid's girl. "

"Shut up."

Gippal laughed and the two continued down the street.

##

"Okay, I love you too, bye." Yuna hung up her cell phone and looked to Rikku who was pacing the kitchen. "Father says he hasn't heard from him either."

"What if something happened?" Rikku stopped and looked at Yuna who only grew more confused.

"What if it did?"

"Yunie."

"Rikku, you just spent all morning telling me how he made your life hell for the past year and now you're worried?"

"I just have this bad feeling…"

"You shouldn't."

##

"Birthday shots!"

Paine stood in front of twenty one shot glasses lined up on the kitchen counter. "What's in these?" The murky liquid made her nervous.

Nooj chuckled. "Don't worry I stopped Gippal from putting only tequila."

"Only?"

"You have to take them before we go out tonight." Elma chimed as she entered the room; her hair in interesting sandy brown today. "That's in a few hours… oh, and you have to wear this." Elma handed her one of those lame 21st birthday crowns but this one was completely bejeweled. Coming off of her afternoon buzz didn't stop Paine from speaking her mind.

"Thanks, but uh, no thanks."

"Put it on." Elma ordered.

Paine groaned before putting it on. She had promised herself that she was just going to let herself have fun and have her roommates take over tonight. They each had planned out something in her day. Gippal's grand idea was the strip club, Noojs's was the line of shots that would surely if not kill her, at least put her in the hospital. Wakka wanted to go the club, and Elma was making her wear this ridiculous hat.

Elma then handed her a glass of water and Nooj grinned.

"It's time."

Paine took the first shot and knew right away what kind of night it would be.

##

Rikku's nerves had settled.

"What's this stuff called again?"

Baralai laughed. "You like it? I knew you would."

Yuna smacked her lips with a giggle. Tidus looked into his glass curiously. "Milk and honey huh?"

"Yeah. That's the name of this little parlor on the water."

Rikku nodded. "It's yummy."

"We all used to sneak out and ride the bus there when were little."

"Paine too?" Yuna asked. It tickled her that she and Baralai had been childhood friends.

Baralai nodded. He was a little apprehensive when out of nowhere Rikku invited him over. He hadn't heard from the blonde in a little while and was giving Paine her space like he knew she liked. He texted her Happy Birthday but that was it.

Rikku thought for a second then spoke. "Is that where you kissed her?"

Baralai almost spit up his spiked milkshake. "Uh, who, did she tell you we did there?" He began to blush.

Tidus examined Baralai's face. "You don't look like her type."

Yuna only laughed. She had given herself the ability to, when all she really wanted to do was hug Rikku. She wasn't sure how her cousin had kept it together for so long. "So you and Paine dated, interesting."

"No she didn- we didn't kiss there…" He coughed nervously. "We were really young; I don't think she took it very serious."

"But you did?" Aw, Yunie his little heart is broken." Lai only blushed more. It was easy for Rikku to joke with Baralai, he was sweet, and the idea of him and Paine being together didn't bother at all. It made her laugh really. It was in the past, a past Paine was so desperately trying to move on from. This Dona character did bother her though, and even though Paine had pretty much lain it out to her the night before, she still knew Paine would be out partying tonight and could potentially run into her.

She had forgotten all about Auron as the night went on. So what, he missed a case. It wasn't like her father wasn't late at least once in his career, and besides Yunie had a point. It was karma. She found herself able to push it aside like she had pushed him aside before. She was going to be in the now.

It was late, and Paine nonsensical texting had stopped hours ago. Rikku showered and got into bed. She was glad that Paine was having fun with her roommates; they seemed to want well for her just like Rikku did. She only hoped that she didn't get herself into trouble.

Rikku made a face at her thoughts. Paine could do whatever Paine wanted to do. Still though, she wouldn't do that to her right? There was something there right? It wasn't just something she made up. How could she?

Rikku growled at her own thoughts. She was thinking craziness. After double locking her door and calling Yuna as promised, and reassuring her that she was fine, Rikku laid her head down to sleep.

Her phone began to chime a cute little number she assigned to Paine's phone. It had to be three in the morning at this point.

"Hello?"

"Princess!"

Rikku laughed and then smiled adoringly. "You're drunk."

"Yeah I am huh? A little…."

"Are you having fun? Why is it so quiet?"

"We just got back from the club; I wish you would have come." Paine slurred.

"Why, you weren't going to dance with me anyway." Rikku teased.

"I would have, if you did then I would. Listen…" Rikku only laughed more. "Are you home? Are you okay? Did you find your sock?"

Rikku smiled. "You worrying about me?"

"I always do."

She smiled. "I'm home, no I haven't found the other sock so one of my legs is naked again."

"Naked….?"

"Yes Paine, my leg…."

"I saw like, twenty naked legs today…."

"Did you?"

"Gippal tried to take me to an all you can eat strip club… Or was it twenty four seven…" Paine shook her head lightly trying to remember the advertisement.

"You went to a strip club tonight?" Rikku asked shocked.

"No Princess, it was in the day time, when I left I met with him and he said that he thought about me liking pussy and then he brought me there…"

"Uhuh." Rikku furrowed her brows.

"But don't worry I didn't do anything… Or I guess I did, but nothing like… Gippal. I just was at the bar and then—"

"You've been drinking since then?" Rikku sat up in bed; concern shortening her smile.

"She looked like you but she wasn't you."

"Wait wait wait."

"I know!" Paine whined. "It sounds bad and I know that you think things happened. I didn't stay, I left Rikks. I left and then I did twenty one shots cause I'm twenty one today." She sounded very proud of herself for remembering. "Err… Yesterday."

"I know you are, silly." Rikku shook her head and lay back down. Paine would be fine. "I was the first one to say it remember?"

"Yeah you said it early when we were talking…"

"So besides the strip club and the stripper who looked like me, but wasn't, what did you do tonight."

"I was good."

"Did you have fun at the club?"

"Yes." Paine was quiet trying to get her thoughts together. "I'm gonna say something, and I know I'm drunk, but, I, wanted you to know that I think you are gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and I want to take you places and have it mean something other than us just hanging out cause I don't wanna hang out forever and ever and Gippal said that if I wanted to impress you I should do that, usually he's wrong but I think he's right, I think that I should ask you when I'm sober and I think that you would say yes, I hope that you would but I just wanted to know before I ask you, what you would say? I've never done this before… all that seems wrong, wait. Let me start over. I—"

Rikku had the biggest smile on her face. "Wait Paine, slow down."

"—Maybe we can think about it y'know, just so we both are aware that at some point I would like that and maybe you would too, unless I mean… Oh! Rikks, I don't have a penis by the way, nope."

Rikku chuckled to herself at Paine's rambling. "I kind of thought you didn't."

"Good, good." Paine sounded relived.

"So…. You are asking if I would say yes when you asked when you were sober? Are you going to even remember this tomorrow?" Rikku laughed.

"I always remember our conversations." Paine said honestly.

"So do I."

Paine groaned. "I messed it up didn't I?"

Rikku chuckled again. "Not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"So… You're okay with me?"

"I've been okay with you. When will you see that?" Rikku's voice was light. "I also know you are drunk."

"I am… but… You make my chest hurt." Paine sobered a little at the confession.

Rikku curled up under her blankets. It was hard to just toss Paine's words away as drunk confessions when she said things like that. "You should rest." She replied, but she knew it exactly what Paine was talking about. Her chest hurt too.

"Okay." Paine mumbled as she curled into her pillows. "I'm resting."

"Come over tomorrow?"

"Let's play blitz."

Rikku chuckled. "We could do that."

"Night, Princess."

"Goodnight, Paine."

##

"This is what happens when you try to give her birthday cake for breakfast! Are you stupid?"

"It was her fucking birthday!" Gippal screamed. "She could eat the damn cake if she wants! Plus, I gave her Gatorade too!"

"You had to be dropped as a baby, there is no other way to describe how fucking stupid you are." Elma crossed her arms.

Paine groaned from her spot between them on the ground in the bathroom. "Guys.." She tried, but it was no match to Elma and Gippal screaming at each other the next morning. "Guys…" She tried again. "GUYS!" Paine began trying to get up.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm leaving you two to argue. You're making my hangover worse." She was a bit shaky at first. Elma reached a hand out and Piane pulled away.

"Well she's defiantly not drunk anymore." Elma said going back to crossing her arms and watching Paine go. Drunken Paine didn't care who touched her.

##

Rikku stretched herself out under her covers when the morning sun kissed her cheeks. She smiled at the familiar glow it cast about the room. She had slept soundly. How could she not? Paine liked her, she had called her pretty, and smart, and all the things a girl liked to hear, and even though she was beyond drunk Rikku knew that she had meant it. Paine liked her.

Paine liked her!

##

Paine fussed over her hair. A shower did wonders to her hung over look.

Piecing together the night before had been rough, especially with Elma and Gippal screaming over her body. She was nursing a can of pedialyte while she got ready to go over to Rikku's. Sure she felt like utter shit but Paine was in a good mood. Such a mood that caused her to open her blinds letting light into her usually lifeless room. She hadn't done that, well… ever. Paine finally finished styling her hair and went to wipe the access gel off on her jeans but she stopped herself and searched for her towel. There was something about today. She knew it as she stepped outside and inhaled the fresh air. It tasted good. The fucking air tasted good. Since when? Paine shook her head at herself as she continued walking down the steps.

"Where ya going?" Little Mackenzie was sitting on the front steps playing with another little girl Paine knew to be her best friend Jade.

"To see a friend." Paine said as she locked the main door. "You have your keys, Big Mac?"

Mackenzie nodded and reached to her neck where a little key chain was looped around her necklace. "Can I come?"

"With me?" Paine asked.

"Yes, oh please! Moma would say yes, she likes you."

Little Jade nodded. "Uhuh."

"Sorry, maybe next time we can go to that park again?"

Mackenzie frowned and it just about broke Paine's heart. This little kid was adorable. "I'll come back later and we will go okay?"

Mackenzie grinned and just like that ran back to playing with Jade. Paine shook her head. She probably forgot already.

Kids

##

Rikku stepped out of the shower, her blonde hair darker and sticking to her face and shoulders. She took a deep breath and leaned forward to wipe the steam from her mirror.

##

"Ah, fuck." Paine mumbled when she reached for her phone. She had forgotten it to charge it last night, and a whole day of texting Rikku, and not having charged it before then had killed the battery. She shrugged and put it back in her pocket.

So she had some explaining to do. The whole strip club thing probably should have never come up, but Paine couldn't help but feel it was minor. She remembered hating Rikku, who she was, what she thought she stood for. She wanted nothing to do with her, and look at what happened now. She wanted her. She wanted to be her friend, Paine wanted to try. She'd take whatever she was given. Even though she was sure things would come up, things that seemed difficult, she would be there. She had taken a chance the other day, a chance she wasn't sure would turn out so well. She would have to wait and see.

As the bus rounded a corner and stopped near a local park Paine wondered what she had been doing before she met Rikku, it just seemed so far away.

##

Rikku shivered. The shower's heat had long since left and the mirror was completely clear. She ran a nervous hand over her stomach, over her breasts, her collar bone. It was strange, curious even.

Rikku dipped her other hand lower brushing past trim dark blonde curls and settling on her upper thigh.

The doorbell ringing downstairs had pulled her away from the image in the mirror suggested to be hers. Rikku turned to grab her cream terrycloth robe and pulled it around her. She fastened the string and exited her bathroom into her room. She quickly checked the time and smiled. It was Paine.

##

Paine hopped off the bus and cursed at her untied shoes. She would be taking them off right when she reached Rikku's but she stopped anyway. How would it look? Just showing up like that with untied shoes?

##

Rikku checked her appearance in the hall mirror before her stairs. She smoothed out her wet blonde hair and winked at herself. She trotted down the stairs two at a time even. "Okay okay." Rikku rolled her eyes at the other girl's impatience. "Y'know I should show you where the key is so you can just—" Rikku opened the door and her smile dropped.

"Not who you expected?" Auron pushed the front door the rest of the way open taking Rikku by surprise. "Well too bad."

"What… what are you doing here?" Rikku asked in a stammer as she backed up.

Auron gritted his teeth. He looked Rikku up and down. "Did you know I was coming? You thought you'd get ready?"

He smelt of Sake and stale rye, and looked even worse. His usually well kept black and white peppered hair was messy and damp, his forehead looked shiny and his eyes were bright bright hazel; the white of them a cloudy pink.

"You should leave. You can't be here." Rikku tried. Her eyes scatter about looking for something, anything.

"Why? It isn't like I don't have the keys. I thought I would knock though, be a gentleman." He could feel himself harden as Rikku adjusted her robe. "What? Isn't this what you wanted?" Auron asked continuing to step closer to her. Rikku had forgotten how tall Auron was compared to her, how big he was, how strong. She began to panic.

"I want you to leave." She swallowed.

"No." Auron stepped forward a little faster and Rikku felt the wall near the stairs smack her hard in the back of the head. She was trapped. "Not without doing this. So they know, so he knows."

Rikku began to cry as Auron pushed himself against her. She could feel his hard member through his pants rubbing against her bare thigh and his rank breath tickling her cheek. Rikku began trying to push him away. "Stop, Auron stop!"

##

Paine paused at the drive. She noticed another car double parked next to Rikku's. She found it strange since there were plenty of other spots up and down the Bayla house. As she got closer she tried to remember where she had seen that car before.

##

Rikku could taste the blood on her new cut lip. "Shut up!" Auron groaned as he held her down with one arm against her throat and the other unbuckling his pants.

Rikku shook with fear. She couldn't stop crying if she tried. Just then she could hear footsteps coming up the steps. The front door was slightly ajar. She took as deep a breath as she could and yelled. "Help!"

"I said shut up!"

Paine burst through the front door and their eyes locked first. That pull nearly knocking Paine over. Paine then saw Auron pressing himself against her fiddling with his pants buckle. "You son of a bitch." She growled as she rushed over. Auron didn't even get a chance to acknowledge Paine's arrival before he was being thrown face first into the wooden stair banister.

"You!" Auron shook off the injury, the alcohol coursing through his veins aiding in this as he was climbed to his feet. Paine looked to Rikku and pulled her behind her quickly. Auron took a few shaky steps forward and Paine almost knocked him over again with a hard right hook. The result of which caused him to start to bleed. Auron staggered on and swung at Paine who quickly countered it by gripped his throat and applying pressure before kicking his feet from under him. Paine immediately kicked him in the erect groin before Auron grabbed her leg and pulled her down.

"Paine!" Rikku screamed looking on as Auron raised his colossal fist to hit her. She didn't hesitate to jump forward and grab Auron's fist before it came down on her. He turned around and pushed Rikku back so hard she fell onto her butt and she fell backwards. He turned to teach Paine a lesson on interrupting them, but turned back to meet Paine's shoe as she kicked him square in the face. Blood from his nose sprayed onto the floor and Auron fell face forward in a daze. Paine got up and began repeatedly kicking him hard in the side. Rikku could hear each blow and winced knowing that it had to have hurt to make Auron cry in pain like that. After a second Rikku realized Paine wasn't stopping. She connected with a kick looking for something and then stomped again until she heard it; that satisfying snapping noise, and then kicked again for the hell of it.

Paine had snapped.

"Paine… Paine…" Rikku got up quickly and grabbed onto Paine's arm and yanked her back only to get pushed away as she tried to continue. It was then that Rikku saw the moisture building at the corner of her eyes and falling quietly down her flushed face. All she could hear was a small grunt exerted from Paine, the connection, the crack, and the groan from Auron. "Paine!" Rikku cried as she tried to pull her away again. "Please!"

That seemed to have brought her out of whatever trance she was stepped toward Rikku who flinched at first. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She asked quickly as she remembered the look on Rikku's face when she first walked in. Rikku began to cry more and Paine wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer. She looked over at Auron's limp body and carried Rikku upstairs. Once in the hall of the upstairs, Rikku broke down completely. She began to sob so hard her body shook as she held onto Paine for dear life. "I'm here, I'm here see? Everything is going to be okay." Paine pressed Rikku closer to her. Her body shook too, she had been scared too. Her breath came heavy and the sound of Rikku crying up against her was muffled by a ringing in her ears.

"He just… I thought it was you." Rikku cried into Paine's collar.

By now her old tears had fallen to her neck where they mixed with Rikku's new. "Shh, it's okay. We're okay, we're oka-" That's when she noticed Rikku's lip. A bit of blood stained the surface, not a lot, but enough. "I'll kill him. I swear to fucking Yevon himself." Rikku soon found herself holding Paine tighter. She knew if she were to let her go, she would kill him.

If she hadn't already.

**AN: Well then… I guess this complicates things no?  
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**KathleenDee**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen **

"At least he's wearing underwear today."

Paine put a hand through her hair and held it there for a moment as she peered into the living room. Brining Rikku here was probably a poor idea, but what was she to do? It was the only place she knew was safe. The blonde didn't want to stay at her house, understandably so. Paine turned to face Elma, they were in the kitchen. Her head was pounding from her hangover still, but Elma knew that wasn't the real reason for Paine's paler features, and reluctance to use complete sentences.

"I know but c'mon."

"You should have called; I would have made him get dressed." Elma uncrossed her arms and looked into the living room again.

"My phone."

She looked back at Paine. "Tell me?"

"I can't." Paine frowned. "I want to, but I can't."

The whole situation was so fucked that Paine didn't know where to begin. Rikku wasn't talking anymore, she went from sobbing to silence in what seemed like record time, and on the other hand Paine herself had thrown up twice since the whole thing happened. She felt like her body was just giving up. It hurt physically and mentally and all Paine wanted to do was close her eyes and try to feel better for Rikku's sake. For she was the real one who should be freaking out right now, but all she could do was watch reality TV in Paine's dingy living room with her equally hung over, half naked roommate, Nooj.

Elma nodded shortly. "Are you two hungry?" She asked looking back at Paine. "What am I saying, you're never hungry. Here, go sit down."

It didn't bother her at all. First walking in she thought it might, but as Rikku sat on the couch beside some naked guy she had never met, the dusty surfaces, the forgotten mug of coffee, the ash tray, the mismatched furniture. It didn't matter. All she cared about in this second was Joni and Tammy, and how they were always breaking up but getting back together. It was ridiculous! Or was that love? Rikku didn't know, but it held her attention until she felt the seat beside her raise up and the naked guy left only to return with two glasses of water.

Rikku stared at the plastic cup for a moment, and then took it from his outstretched hand. "Thanks." It was the first thing she said in hours.

"You believe these two?" Nooj asked the newcomer as he returned to his seat at her left.

"Tammy can do better." Rikku agreed.

Nooj shook his head. "We all could."

Paine entered the living room then, and hesitated before taking a seat beside Rikku. Things had been a little weird between them. Rikku wouldn't really look at her, and Paine knew why, she understood it, but it still hurt a little.

"Dr. P hates this stuff, don't you?" Nooj asked Paine. He was completely unaware of the worn expressions on both of their faces.

Rikku turned and looked at Paine rubbing her eyes. "Yeah." She answered.

Rikku looked back to the TV quickly. When she looked at Paine she was reminded. Everything started coming back, and she wasn't ready for that. It was too soon.

"I'm running out to get some tofu." Elma announced to the three as she grabbed her keys. Just as she opened the door she was tapped lightly on the leg.

Little Mackenzie jumped back in surprise. She started to giggle, Jade wasn't far behind.

"She thought you were the door." Jade explained.

Elma laughed lightly. "Good timing tiny humans."

"Is Paine home? She promised me that she would take me and Jade to da park. Moma said she could and everything." Mackenzie outstretched her hands to reveal a cell phone. "See she gave me her phone just in case. I remember her number too, its 345-" Mackenzie proudly recited her house phone number.

Elma bit her lip. "I don't know if it's a good time."

"I'll go." Paine stood hearing the commotion from where she sat. Rikku quickly looked back up at her. She didn't want to be reminded, but she didn't want Paine to leave. "Come with me?" Paine mouthed. Something about Rikku being quiet made her quiet too.

Rikku glanced back at the TV and Nooj waved her off. "They break up in the next episode, not this one."

Rikku nodded and went to go put on her shoes.

##

The air that tasted so good this morning stung now. Paine had pulled on an extra layer of clothes even though the mid day sun was out and shining bright. She pulled her dark blue NLU hoody closer to her body and watched as Jade and Mackenzie ran off toward the playground. Rikku stood at her side not saying anything. The shorter of the two frowned at the rusted play equipment and the trash on the floor. She hadn't been on a playground in years but she thought she remembered them being… Nicer.

Paine motioned to a bench nearby and the two walked over and sat down. For a while they both watched Jade and Mackenzie play and listened to the sounds of the city bustling all around them. Rikku chuckled lightly as Jade fell down and got right back up like it was nothing; playground sand all over her little face. They were so innocent. They didn't know about the evils of the world, not yet.

"She's always like that." Paine offered. Rikku looked to her as she explained further. "Falling and stuff, she's clumsy."

"I didn't know you hung around kids so much."

"Her mom was my nurse, she helped me out a lot, so the least I could do was watch her kid y'know? Turns out Big Mack is pretty cool as far as 9 year olds come. Jade is okay too, their kind of a package deal."

"Big Mack…"

"Mackenzie, but y'know, she's a little small for her age. She's a little self conscious about it too" Rikku examined Paine's features as she spoke then looked back to the little girl as she jumped wildly from the monkey bars. She did look a tad small. It reminded her of herself at that age. "Said it made her feel important… Like the sandwich." Rikku giggled lightly. "Her words, not mine." Paine offered Rikku a tiny smile that was soon wiped away. "Rikks…" Her tone was quiet.

Rikku sighed and began playing with the ring on her right hand. "Please don't ask me if I'm okay."

"I won't, it's just that… We have to say something… Tell someone, something. I mean fuck, there was more blood when I went downstairs…" She looked away from Rikku and down at her own hands. She could still feel the warm liquid seeping into the paper towels she had used to clean it up. He had to have coughed it up and left right before Paine came downstairs because it was still warm.

"I don't want t—"

"Ri, he hurt you."

Rikku inhaled heavily. "Who are we going to call?"

"The police."

Rikku shook her head in defeat. "No, Pai, they won't do anything, they will say that nothing ha—"

"Don't say that!" Paine made fists with her hands that were deep in the warmth of her hoody pockets."Something did happen, and the only reason that asshole got away with touching you like that is because you didn't say anything before."

Rikku just stared at her in disbelief. "It's my fault then?" Paine said nothing. "… So he's walking around with half a lung because of me, Paine?"

"That's not what I mean."

"But you said it. So, in fact it is what you mean."

"I don't want to do this again—"

"What are _you_ doing!" Rikku shifted in her seat so she was facing Paine better. She needed to start saying how she felt because Rikku could feel herself getting angry at Paine, and above all she didn't want to be angry at her. Not when she had saved her, not like this. "I was the one who almost got rap—"

"I know! Fuck, stop reminding me, because while you were changing, I was cleaning up blood. Okay? I know what happened, what could have happened. I mean that keeping things from people is how you got here in the first place. We have to say something Rikku, we have to." Paine dug her right foot in the dirt hard casting a black cloud of dirt to kick up and travel west. "Don't you want him to pay? What if he does this to someone else, someone who can't protect themselves?" Rikku watched as Paine rubbed her hands together. Was she cold? It had to be 70 degrees out and she was wearing a hoody too. "Who knows what else he plans on fucking doing." Paine shook her head. If he was stupid enough to try this, what else was he stupid enough for?

"…Are you okay?" She finally asked remembering Paine's tears, they had been real, just like hers.

"I'll be better when I know he's locked up where he belongs."

Her walls had gone back up

##

Rikku sighed this was the third time this cop had asked her if Auron had actually raped her. "No, however he did push his way into my home, and hit me, and I was scared for my life."

"So he didn't actually…?"

"For fucks sake she said no!"

That would be Paine.

"Ma'am I'm going to ask you to calm down or leave."

"Pai." Rikku touched her hand on the arm rest of the chair beside her. This seemed to help Paine calm down. She had been this way all day and it was really starting to worry Rikku now. She knew she was hung over, but something was wrong. She would wait until they had a moment alone to ask though.

"How many times is he gonna ask though? You don't think people are sensitive to these types of things?" Paine asked in a quieter tone to Rikku as the middle aged police officer with the overgrown mustache and droopy eyes filled out an incident report. Rikku had already been cut, this guy was just opening up the wound. Paine couldn't help but feel a little overprotective right now. Today was supposed to turn out differently. They were supposed to be playing blitzball at a park or cooking like they always did. Instead they were here talking about Auron putting or not putting his dick into Rikku.

The downtown New Luca police station report center was in the basement and was tiny and uncomfortably hot around this time of year. Rikku and Paine sat side by side in one of the many glass cubical offices that, unfortunately, were not sound proof. So when Officer Pioti was silently filling out the report they could hear the sobs of victims, the calm recollections of those turning themselves in, and the quieted whispers of confessions.

"It's okay." Rikku shushed.

Officer Pioti cleared his throat. "Alright, I'm going to need your statement." He looked at Paine. "Your name?"

Paine hesitated. "Paine Kerrigan."

"How are you related to Miss. Bayla?" He held his pen at the ready.

"Uhm." She hesitated again. "We're friends." Paine continued on with her account at what happened earlier that day.

Pioti nodded and began writing again. "Now… Bayla was it?" He squinted at Rikku trying to remember why that name had seemed so familiar.

"Yes, Sir."

"If Mr…."

"Guarrd, Auron Guarrd."

Pioti sat back in his chair, stroked his whickers, and looked at her closely. "Auron Guarrd?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Impossible, listen, I don't know what you kids think you're doing, but Auron Guarrd is a good man."

"I still would like to press charges." Rikku said calmly. She had her lawyer face on, either that or she had cried herself dry. Paine was guessing the latter. When she had come back upstairs from cleaning up Rikku was dressed lazily and she was still crying. She had just stopped on the way to Paine's apartment. Paine assumed her body had nothing left to give at the moment and needed to rehydrate.

"Excuse me a minute." Pioti stood gathering a few papers on his way out of the cubical.

"—You don't understand, it was a mistake, I never meant to—"

Paine sighed and looked over to Rikku. "I gotta get out of here."

"Where to next?"

"I'm hungry, so you must be starving."

"Why do I have to be starving?"

Paine only shrugged. If only she knew how right she was. Rikku hadn't eaten literally all day and as three in the afternoon rolled around her body strived to remind her.

Officer Pioti stood at the fax machine sending copies of Rikku's file off to the designated offices. He was all done, but stopped on his way back. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet in search of a business card.

He had one more fax to send.

##

"Well he is in a world of trouble when he does try to show up and claim his percentage." Cid Bayla stood from his desk and glanced at the pictures there. Little Rikku and Kirill were holding hands walking to school on Rikku's first day of third grade. They had their backs turned from the camera; Rikku's long blonde pigtails and Kirill's untied shoe was always what his late wife would point out with a motherly smile. "E zicd deat rec cruac!" She would exclaim with laughter. It was his favorite picture of his two children. Rikku had to be about eight, and Kirill eleven. "Uhuh, yes." He nodded to Braska over the phone. "Uh, get her some candy or something… I know but she'd eat the candy, what the hell is Milan going to do with that?... Mhm. We'll pick up you from the port tomorrow as planned, alright, bye." Cid hung up the phone and glanced over at Juliann. She was perched at the side of his desk reading something that just came for him. "You know if you wanted to be my secretary, I would gladly fire Sophia." Cid smirked to himself.

Leblanc didn't bat an eyelash as she continued reading. "Why would you do that? The poor thing has been working here for years."

Cid's smirk dropped and he shook his head with a tiny laugh. "Anyway, Braska says hello, any word from you know who yet?" He reached behind his chair for his suit jacket.

"No, darling."

Cid nodded to himself. He had to admit that Auron just not showing for trial was a little weird. He hadn't returned any of their calls either "Bastard probably fell asleep on his boat again."

"Possibly."

"What do you say to lunch? Maybe I can invite the girls."

Leblanc looked up at that. She knew how much Cid loved his daughter and niece, but what she held in her hands would change things forever. "Cid…"

"Now, now, I know you and Rikku have this thing, but I swear if you just talked to the girl like you talk with Braska and I she would warm up to you, I know she will."

Leblanc frowned, "You should see this…" She handed him the files.

##

"Panties or boy shorts?" Rikku asked out of nowhere.

Paine looked up from texting Gippal. Elma had told him that something was wrong and he was texting to find out while Rikku gathered a few things. "Thongs." She said with a serious face before looking back at her phone.

Rikku laughed. "I don't believe you."

Paine looked up from what she was doing. "Why can't I wear thongs?"

"You can't, because you don't."

"This is a very personal question by the way, be happy that I answered."

Rikku chuckled to herself as she went to grab her hair brush and tossed it into the small backpack at her feet. "Paine?"

"Yeah?" Paine asked preoccupied by the ambiguous text she was sending Gippal.

"You sure you don't mind this?"

Paine looked up again at her. She was sitting on Rikku's made bed still clad in her hoody and jeans. The only difference now is that her shoes were still on, and so was Rikku's. It felt strange, but they would be leaving shortly anyway. Once Rikku was packed they could go.

"I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't, Princess."

Rikku smiled, she hadn't called her that all day. After coming from the police station the two went to eat at a burger place down the street. It was a quiet meal, neither really spoke at all and that was okay. The day had been hard on them both. It had taken a lot for Rikku to enter her house and pass the stairs, but once in her own room she felt comfortable, and safe.

Paine stood. "I've stayed here like, five times." She reassured them both; Paine still wasn't sure how this whole thing was going to work. Her bed wasn't big enough for them both. "I mean, it's not the Rinz but, everyone will be nice to you, and…." That's all she really had to offer Rikku and it made her feel slightly embarrassed. "You'll be safe."

Rikku nodded and zipped her bag up. "Okay."

Paine nodded and they both took a step toward the door but were stopped by the jingling of the keys downstairs. Rikku froze and Paine sent her a look that meant stay put. She crept into the hallway and sighed when she noticed who it was; sighed, and then began to panic again.

"Cid calm down, maybe she—"

"Not now!" He glared at Leblanc. "Rikku Milan Bayla, Tufhcdyenc huf!" He knew she was home because Rikku always left the hall light on when she was home.

Rikku appeared at Paine's side within seconds. Her father seldom spoke Al bhed, but when he did, you listened. They exchanged glances before Rikku led the way down the steps.

"Ah, and of course, Paine." He shook his head and dropped his briefcase on the ground. "Have you lost your mind girl? Drec ec hud vihho, fryd ec fnuhk fedr oui?" He waved papers in Rikku's face.

"Fyed, Pops. What is that?" Rikku stilled her father's large arm and she could feel her stomach drop with what was on it. "How did you get this?"

"How did I get this? How did I get this!"

The Bayla temper was not something to mess with. Paine saw that now. She had only seen and heard good things about Cid Bayla, yet here he was, ready to explode about whatever he had shown Rikku. His face was red and a vein near his temple bulged. He was a lot bigger than Rikku too, Paine had to stop herself from wanting to say something.

Cid noticed Rikku's backpack and looked to Paine, then back to Rikku. "What is this Milan? Was I wrong? Was Auron right? Was this—" He cut himself off and looked to Paine.

"Pops." Rikku readied herself for what was next. "That's… that's not a lie. He was—"

"Enough!" Cid threw the papers to the ground and reached for his cell phone. He dialed a number and held the phone to his ear. "You." He pointed to Paine. "Get out of my house before I call the police."

"Paine didn't do anything but help me!" Rikku stepped in front of Paine's path to leave.

"Help you lie? To the police of all people? Lie about a friend?" He hung up the phone when it went to voicemail. "Damnit." He cursed. "I said out!" He pointed to Paine who really didn't need to be told twice.

"Paine, wait, wait." Rikku handed Paine her bag. Without saying anything Paine knew what she meant. She slung the bag over her shoulders and left.

"Pop, you have to believe me—" Rikku tried. She pointed to the door where Paine had just left. "You're making a mista—"

"The only mistake I made was letting her in my home." He said firmly. "You think I haven't noticed the change in you? You're careless, careless just like your mother was."

"That has nothing to do with Paine!"

"I cannot even being to fathom why you would do such a thing. Especially since you know we haven't seen or heard from him, especially when he has done so much for you."

"Wait."

Paine turned around. "What?"

"She's not lying is she? He was here today wasn't he?" Leblanc asked as she hugged herself from the cold evening air.

Paine thought a minute, she didn't like Leblanc, but only because she was so fucking rude to her. Here, with her stubby blonde hair out and her lips pink with the chill. She seemed like a normal person. She seemed reasonable, she seemed changed, and most importantly, she seemed concerned. "Yeah."

She only nodded and went back inside.

"Go to your room!"

"No!"

What was she twelve?

"Then get out of my house!" Cid yelled harshly. The room was still when Leblanc entered. Rikku felt more hurt and could swear she felt invisible tears already falling down her cheeks. He knew what he had just done. He knew it very well, for the momentary look of sorrow had crossed his face before returning to standing his ground like he thought he ought to.

When Kirill left home Cid had promised her he would do anything to keep their family together, and that he would never ever ask her to leave. He had promised.

Cid Bayla didn't promise many things.

Rikku sucked up her tears and fixed her face to the one she knew resembled her mother most. He looked away. "Cusa vysemo." She said before leaving.

Rikku sniffled as she rounded the corner of her house. She was hurt and she wasn't even going to try and hide it. Just after she passed her father's parked car and stepped onto the neighbors sidewalk she saw Paine waiting for her there.

"You okay?" She had asked. Rikku sniffled and reached for her bag but Paine wouldn't give it up. "I'll hold it." Paine thought about what Rikku said that week when the storm raged outside of her window. She remembered how her breaths eased back to normal. How she sighed contently. How just by being close she was able to do something to her to calm her.

She knew what she had to do, but like always, Piane dropped the ball. They walked side by side till they got to where Rikku parked her car in silence.

Paine was grateful that Elma had informed everyone to get lost for the night. Wakka had texted her to make sure she was okay and even Nooj had some rally to go to. Gippal was working and Elma went into the hospital to get some work done.

Paine led the way up the stairs to the second floor where the bedrooms were. The apartment was dreary and almost spooky with no one home and all the lights off. Every step on the old staircase sounded like a cry of pain from years of abuse. Paine opened her room door for Rikku and stood aside for her to walk in.

Rikku looked around, Paine was right, the room was tiny, and the dark wallpaper seemed to be peeling in some areas. Paine didn't have many things, but if she did Rikku's supposed she would be neat with messy tendencies. Just by the way things were placed here and there without any real reason but the floor was clean, and the bed made. There was only one window directly in front of you when you first walked in. To the left was a twin size bed with gray and blue sheets and a pillow pushed up against the wall. Beside that was a nightstand with a digital clock on it. The green numbers read 7:03. A tissue box sat beside that along with Paine's Zippo lighter. At the foot of the bed was a hamper with many of the same types of clothing stuffed into it. To Rikku's right was a small one door closet that had a wine calendar on the door, next to that a desk Rikku suspected Paine never used. It was dusty and was the resting place to many textbooks, papers, pens and various items that seemed to get misplaced. There was a full length mirror beside the desk and a small file cabinet like looking chest of drawers.

That was it.

No artwork to brighten the place up, no TV, or computer. Hell Rikku wasn't even sure she saw a radiator. Paine rested Rikku's bag down near the closet. "I think everyone is gone…"

"Oh."

"Um, make yourself comfortable. Then I guess I'll give you a real tour." Paine nodded before leaving the room to give Rikku some alone time with her thoughts. She went downstairs and searched the cabinets for something comforting to make. It was around dinner time anyway.

Up in Paine's room Rikku sat down on the bed and almost melted into it. It wasn't at all easy on the eyes but this thing was so comfortable that she had actually dozed off right then and there.

Paine returned a minute later. "I was wondering what flavor Ramen you wanted, I have beef and…" Paine lowered her hands when she found Rikku lying on her bed curled up without any covers on. She rested the dried soup packages down on her desk chair and turned on the space heater before closing the door and going back downstairs.

Paine stopped mid way down the stairs and went back into her room to grab twenty bucks and to cover Rikku up. She sighed heavily and sat in the dark living room for a good twenty minutes. Then she sent her roommates a mass text.

_**I owe you one.**_

She chuckled at the different responses she got back.

_**Damn right you do!**_

_**S'all good Dr. P, hope everything is okay.**_

_**Not one, but two. I managed to get Nooj to promise to keep his business, his business.**_

_**I wouldn't be there anyway P, got 94 on the books!**_

##

Rikku opened her eyes slowly and groaned. She had had the worst dream ever, oh wait… All that really did happen. She felt around on the nightstand for her cell phone, but then she realized she wasn't in her room, but Paine's. The street lights from outside helped illuminate the small room enough for Rikku to see that she was alone.

Panicking briefly, she got up, looked around and then calmed down when she saw Paine's keys on her nightstand, and her leather jacket tossed over the desk chair. She furrowed her brow at the two packs of different ramen soups on the seat of the chair. Rikku uncovered herself and looked at the time. 9:42pm it read. Rikku shook her head at herself and jumped when she heard some commotion downstairs on the street. She slowly got to her feet and peered out of the window.

Down below a few boys, probably 4 or 5 years younger than her, were playing blitzball in the street.

Where were their mothers? Rikku wondered. Wasn't there school in the morning? Rikku furrowed a brow and watched the game for a little while. It reminded her of her brother. Boy was he in for a surprise when he found out that Pops had basically kicked her out too. She frowned at the thought of her father. She wasn't a terrible child, she did get into trouble now and then but she was always honest with him. Why now did he choose to not believe her? Over something to real and serious too! Rikku didn't understand him, she was angry at him, but then again hadn't she predicted he was going to act like this? Hadn't she told Paine and Yuna that?

Well whatever, he had made his decision.

It still hurt a little to think that he could be more worried about Auron then her. It hurt but it wasn't a foreign feeling. His job owned him, and he gladly put everything before it; moving his family to New Luca, his son, and now Rikku.

Rikku bent down to where her handbag lay on the floor. She searched it until she found her cell phone. She had a missed call from Leblanc and her father, both hours apart. Then she had a text from Yuna asking how she was and if she wanted to come over.

Crap

She forgot to tell Yuna.

She shot back a text that she was with Paine, and wanted to hang out tomorrow sometime. They had to go dress shopping anyway. She would tell her then.

There were certain things Rikku wished people could just know. Like maybe if she wore a sign that said "hates black jelly beans," or "likes hot chocolate milk, but not hot chocolate." It would save a lot of confusion for everyone. The shirt would have to be twice though her size if she added, "slept with my professor and he tried to rape me when I stopped but then the girl I really really like saved me and my dad thinks I made the whole thing up so now I'm staying with said girl until he comes to his blasted senses."

That would be a big shirt.

Rikku put her phone back into her bag before setting off to look for Paine.

The downstairs was completely dark and motionless. There was no sign of life that Rikku could see from where she stood at the top step. For a second Rikku contemplated just yelling her name out but if her roommates came back and were now sleeping, she didn't want to wake them.

The steps hardly made a noise as she treaded softly down them. Rikku found Paine in the living room. She had fallen asleep on the couch facing the TV with her hood pulled over her head; her body curled just the way Rikku had found herself when she woke up. Rikku reached a hand to her shoulder and jumped back in surprise as Paine woke with a start.

Her auburn eyes were bright, almost ruby and they seemed scared. Paine exhaled heavily when she noticed it was only Rikku. "Shit, you scared me." She admitted as she moved to sit up. Rikku sat beside her in the dark.

"I didn't mean too."

"I know." Paine nodded. She rubbed her face of sleep and removed her hood from her head revealing her dark gray hair. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay I guess, your bed is really comfy."

Paine nodded again.

This was good, they were talking.

"It's not much but it gets the job done." She looked around the living room. It was nothing like Rikku's den. "A lot of the stuff around here is like that."

"That's okay." Rikku was quick to say. "It feels, lived in."

Paine let out a small chuckle. "That's a nice way of saying shitty."

"No it's not." Paine laughed again at how she took her seriously. "I mean comfy Pai, you're so mean, even today." She whined with a little laugh and nudge in Paine direction.

Paine smiled to herself. "Sorry. So what happened with your father? He really thinks I had something to do with it?"

Rikku shook her head. "He does that." He tone changed. "That's how he drives everyone away. He's great up until you really need him, y'know?" Rikku looked away, she rather talk about Auron than her father.

"I guess… I mean from his prospective he must be really confused."

"He kicked you out, why are you sticking up for him?"

"I'm not, I'm not. I'm just saying. His _friend_ went missing, and then his daughter says that his good friend well, tried stuff. The guy has got to be confused. Though he should have handled it another way I mean, you gotta remember that he didn't know anything until today. I mean… I guess he still doesn't."

"Again my fault."

"Well, yeah…"

"Paine!"

Paine chuckled. She was trying to make Rikku feel a little better. "But I can get passed that if you can forgive me for pushing you… I felt really bad." Her tone was quiet now and she was glancing from Rikku to her hands.

Rikku tilted her head in question. "It's okay." She whispered. "You saved me, Paine. You saved me and I can't even begin to tell you how… How grateful I am to— for that. Thank you."

"It was nothing."

"It was something."

"I was just doing what was right."

"… and then what happened?" Rikku chuckled lightly.

Paine exhaled heavily. "And then things got a little hazy."

"I noticed."

"He can't be, I mean you don't think I…" Paine trailed off. She had done a lot of shitty things in the past, and hurt people who were by far better than Auron was, but here she was; worrying if he were lying in a ditch somewhere.

"I don't think so."

"Good, cause if I see him again, he will be." She did mean that. Paine silently dared him to show up again. A bit of that mornings anger coming back.

"Paine."

"I mean it Rikku. He hit you." Paine tried to calm down but all she could think about now was Auron pushing himself on Rikku like that.

How dare he?

Rikku licked her cut lip. "Yeah, I know."

"How does it feel?"

"Like I got hit in the mouth." She said matter of factually.

"I'm glad nothing happened to you. Some things will be hard, when I was younger I almost got… but I didn't, and it still sucked. You just gotta take it day by day, I think we did the right thing in telling that asshole cop, and well. I'm just happy you're laughing and smiling right now instead of being sad."

Rikku tilted her head as she looked at Paine. "You do that."

"Well I'm happy you're here with me."

Rikku smiled and laid her head on Paine's shoulder.

"I was enjoying the quiet, before I fell asleep." Paine explained not really knowing what to do with the blush at her cheeks. "It won't be like this for a while—"

"Shhh."

##

"What do you mean you only have the black ones? What the fuck? No one likes those." Paine sighed as the guy who worked at the pizzeria explained that that's all they had over the phone. "Okay okay." Rikku was giving Paine a look. "Sorry." She added. "Um, so how long will that be?" Paine nodded. "Okay thanks." She hung up her cell phone. "24 minutes."

"Really? Not 25?"

Paine shrugged. Rikku was sitting on a kitchen stool with a small tear on the side, and leaning on the counter. "You want something to drink?" Paine asked. "I have beer, water, soy milk, and… aloe vera juice?" She examined the container. "Hm."

"A beer sounds nice, but only if you have one."

Paine gave Rikku a look. "After last night I'm not drinking for a while."

"You hide a hangover well." Rikku noticed. She had almost forgotten that she was out the night before, and the phone call.

She had almost forgotten the phone call.

"Years of practice." Paine said as she closed the fridge and placed a beer bottle down on the counter. She paused and then chuckled to herself before turning to look for a glass, "Princess." She said as she handed Rikku the glass of beer. Rikku only smiled. Paine had noticed her efforts to throughout the day, but they never seemed to reach her eyes. Even when she laughed.

Paine poured herself some water. She wanted to ask Rikku more about certain things that happened before she showed up that morning. She had heard her statement, but at the same time the same questions still bothered her. After she glanced at Rikku wiping beer foam off the tip of her nose she knew it would have to wait.

##

"Are you sure?" Rikku asked sitting up in Paine's bed.

"Yes, for the fourth time." Paine said as she tossed a few extra blankets from the hall closet onto her bedroom floor.

"What about your pillow?" Rikku grasped at the pillow next to her.

"I'm making one right now."

She furrowed a brow. "Making one?"

"Watch." Paine picked up an empty pillowcase and went to her drawers to pull out clothes and stuffed it into the pillow. "See?" She fluffed it and tossed it onto the ground.

Rikku watched as she went to close the window blinds. "Wait!"

"What?"

"Can we leave the open?"

Paine watched her oddly but backed away from the window. She turned to pull off her shorts and top, she usually slept in her underwear. Rikku moving around on her bed reminded her that she wasn't alone though.

Paine had just lain down; she could feel Rikku's eyes on her as she tried not to make a show at being uncomfortable. She finally found a spot and the room fell silent. Somewhere down below someone was slamming on the breaks causing the damp street to moan.

"Paine."

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure?"

Paine sighed. "Yes, Rikku."

"You just look uncomfortable from here."

"I'm fine."

Rikku sighed which caused Paine to sigh

"Goodnight Rikku."

"Night night, Paine." She paused. "Paine?"

"Rikku?" Paine groaned.

She bit the inside of her cheek. "Never mind."

##

"_Did you have fun?" He asked._

_Little Paine nodded up at the man. She smiled her child like grin, which with years would develop into her adult like smirk. "I'm getting better!"_

"_You are." He nodded as he led her down the pale cream halls. "Your instructor, Sir Tromell. Do you like him?" He opened a door that led Paine into an office._

_Paine happily ran in. She had been here many times before with the new kid, Gippal. Mostly for disciplinary action, bit still, she knew where to sit and everything. She watched him close the door shut. Somewhere deep down she knew something was up, but her newest accomplishment had covered it like clouds blocking the sun. "He's pretty old, his hands are all wrinkly and gross."_

_He laughed. "Oh come now. I brought him here for you, he is world renounced you know."_

"_What does that mean?"_

_He came to lean against the desk in front of her chair. "It means that people all over Spira come to hear him play piano, one day you will be just as good."_

"_Gippal too?"_

"_Ah, Trent… Well, I'm not so sure he will be around much longer…"_

"_Because he put that stuff in the fountain? Or because he didn't say sorry? I told him to say sorry..." Paine shook her head at her new friend. _

_He smiled. "Never mind him, hm? I have come to share something with you."_

"_Share what?" Paine made a face, she hated sharing._

_He glanced elsewhere in the room. "It's a secret."_

_Paine hopped off of the chair she was sitting on. "Secrets always get me in trouble." She looked at the watch on her little wrist. It had been a birthday present from the parlor lady who was always speaking gibberish to her. She seemed nice enough, so Paine had accepted the gift with a little bow._

_What else was she supposed to do? She clearly didn't speak Common. _

_He chuckled at Paine's adult like mannerisms, she would be something alright. "That's nice, can I see it?"_

_Paine shrugged and outstretched her arm. She pressed her lips together at how both his hands wrapped around her arm gently; His fingers rubbing the skin just above her elbow._

Paine woke suddenly feeling a little dizzy. She exhaled slowly and pinched her eyes closed again before opening them and running her right arm along her left.

The watch was gone.

She traced her fingers up her arm and winced at the memory. She ran her hand over her now developed left breast. She pulled her hand away quickly. She didn't need to use her hand to remember where he had gone next.

Paine let her right hand fall back to her side and tried to moisten her dried mouth as she stared at the ceiling.

The watch was gone.

She was gone.

Paine rubbed at her temple. She had showed up high, just so she wouldn't cry like all the other adult children dressed in black.

That was her excuse; a few fucking tears. She deserved better for saving her that day. Paine owned her everything.

And she had showed up high.

Life sure had a funny way of reminding you of your worst you, when you were trying to be your best you.

Paine decided that it was probably best that way.

She needed reminding sometimes.

She finally turned on her side and tried to get comfortable again. It was only when she turned off her mind that she heard her sniffle.

Paine picked up her head and squinted in the dark, "Rikku?" She whispered.

"Yeah?" Her voice seemed so small and broken.

Paine immediately kneeled at the side of her bed. "Hey… hey…"

She was crying.

Paine frowned. "You been up all this time? You didn't wake me?" After the past twenty four hours Paine knew exactly what her limits were with Rikku.

She would put out the world for a tear in her eye.

"You were sleepy." She wiped her face and sniffled again. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me?" Paine furrowed her brow. Were they reversing positions? Was this how Rikku had felt when she was sick? Paine looked down at Rikku and it hurt to see her hurting. "Move over." She said softly as she reached onto the ground for her makeshift pillow. Paine crawled onto the remaining space of the bed and hesitated before placing an arm gently on Rikku's side. "What's going on in there?" She asked worriedly.

Her emerald eyes were glossy and wide. "I don't know." The tears came faster then, there was nowhere to hide with Paine, and Rikku was tired of trying. "What if he comes looking for me again?" She shook as she spoke. Paine rubbed her arm. Their bodies were so close they were touching and Rikku didn't hesitate to grab at Paine's arm as well. She needed to hold onto something. Rikku sniffled again. She was crying silent tears; the ones that came from deep within on nights like this where no one could see.

But Paine was there, she could see them, she could feel them on the pads of her fingers as she wiped them away. They were real.

"Look at me?" She asked gently. Paine had both her hands framing Rikku's face; wiping away any moisture that accumulated there.

Rikku focused on her warm eyes in the dark. It was the only thing she could do to stop the crying.

"I'm scared." She whispered. "Right before you came in, Pai, I was hoping…" She swallowed. "That he would just—" She began crying again. Paine pulled her closer.

Rikku sniffled and closed her eyes before nuzzling Paine's hand. "Then you just walked right in." She whispered. "I needed an angel and there you were." She opened her eyes and Paine leaned closer to her face. The thing about Rikku's eyes were that they were never really the exact same green, but the pattern remained; the deep emerald wrapping around a lighter green until finally the tiny stitch of hazel near the center. She had never been this close to them before. "So yhkam." Rikku whispered; her breath tickling Paine's lips and nose.

Paine brushed the stray blonde hairs away from Rikku's face. "You're safe now." closed her eyes, Rikku's gaze a bit intense. Rikku hugged her tighter and Paine settled her hands back around the other woman's side. "We're safe. I promise." Paine mouthed just loud enough to be considered speech. Rikku gripped Paine's back gently before letting one of her hands wrap around her neck. Paine opened her eyes at this; Rikku's hand had come to cup from her neck to her cheek; Rikku's fingers stretched open and closed slowly, she wasn't looking at Paine though, her eyes were closed and her head tilted down. Paine blinked slowly a few times before reaching for her hand and leaning in closer to her and placing a tiny kiss on Rikku's forehead. "Sleep now." She whispered. Rikku took a shaky breath before snuggling against her. Paine rested her chin atop Rikku's head and closed her eyes as she felt the quiet tears stain the collar of her shirt.

Never in all her life did she feel as important to someone as she did right then. Never in her life had she held someone so close, wanting, needing them to trust her enough to let her., to believe her.

Rikku could feel Paine tighten her hold around her small body, the only thing between them was the thin blanket Rikku was wrapped up in, and the silence as they lay awake like that till the street lights turned off and the morning shadows cast themselves into the small room.

Was she broken? Rikku didn't know, she felt as if she had just lost something very important, but gained something as equally important in the process. She would never be the same, but right now as she felt Paine's arms grow heavy around her and heard her breathing quiet down, she knew that she didn't want to go back. Rikku placed her cheek against Paine's damp shirt and inhaled deeply before closing her eyes.

##

"You're making a very big mistake."

Cid looked down at his hands. "What do you know about her?" He knew the moment Rikku walked out that door that he made a big mistake. He could feel it, but then where did this come from? Where had this all come from? Had he been so blind? Was he right? Was Rikku wrong? Since when did everything between them become so blurry?

Leblanc stood. "I know enough Cid, I know enough to know that even for her she has been acting weird for months now, and don't you dare blame it on that girl. I know enough to know that when a daughter can't come directly to her father about something like this then there is something seriously wrong in the home." She shook her head at him. "And I know enough to know that I want no part in this." Now staring at the man she had grown so fond of, loved maybe even, Juliann could not see what she saw before. It was only then that she realized that it wasn't his money or his successful business that attracted her to him in the first place, it was his heart.

"This?" Cid stood, something in his chest tightening. "Meaning me?"

"Meaning you." She confirmed before leaving.

**AN: I just want to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter! This was a toughie to write and they helped to keep me motivated. Anyway I hope you all liked it. Review and let me know what you think.**

**KathleenDee**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen **

6:25

That was the time.

6:25

It was the time when Rikku was brought out of her peaceful slumber. One would think it was because that's the time Paine's alarm clock would go off. No, not really. If Paine stayed put Rikku would still be asleep, but as the other woman tried to pull her arms from around her and roll onto her back, that body heat disappeared and Rikku was immediately awakened.

Paine would lie in bed for one to three minutes on her back. Rikku supposed she was collecting her thoughts for the morning. Then she would be up, and despite Rikku's efforts to keep the bed sheets from turning cold like pastry dough, once Paine was out of bed that was it.

She was cold.

The coldness prompted Rikku to finally open her eyes. She would catch the last bit of Paine as she left her room for the shower. Sometimes she would fall asleep and only wake when Paine was softly saying goodbye, then other times she would be awake when she returned clad in her black pants and a tank top. Her hair would be wet and slicked back which caused it to curl slightly at the ends.

Sometimes she would glance at the bed, sometimes she would just focus at getting ready. This particular morning Paine focused on getting ready. After doing Yevon knows what ( Rikku always seemed to doze off) she would leave and return with her shoes on and a mug of coffee. She would go to her messenger bag and made sure she had a few manila folders then she would drink the last bit of her coffee and slip on her leather jacket, then pat her pockets as she mentally went through a check list of things she needed. After that she would walk over to the bed and place a hand on Rikku's shoulder.

"Ri?"

Or

"Rikks?"

Or sometimes she would even smile and say. "I know you're awake."

"So?"

"I'm leaving now, okay?"

Rikku would nod and grab the hand on her shoulder and look up at her. "Okay."

"I'll see you later." Paine would let Rikku hold her hand a little longer before letting go and leaving.

That was the routine they developed in the past four days that Rikku had been staying with Paine.

Rikku would usually wake up hours later to Gippal making breakfast. By then Elma and Wakka were already up and out.

"Eggs Benedict, Cid's girl." Gippal explained when he saw the short woman walk down the steps in a daze.

Gippal wasn't at all sure on how he felt about Rikku begin here. Paine made him promise to keep his creep to a minimum and Gippal had been a little hurt. Sometimes he could be too much, he knew this, but if the girl was going through something he would be as helpful as possible.

He wasn't a monster.

"Please stop calling me that."

She was no longer Cid's girl and would love it if everyone stopped asking her about him. Even Paine was beginning to annoy her.

Gippal frowned. What had he done now? "Fine." He turned back to the double boiler with hollandaise he was flavoring. Gippal sagged his shoulders. Maybe Elma was right.

Maybe he didn't know how to talk to women.

Rikku frowned. "Cunno."

"S'okay." Gippal shrugged. "Whatever."

"Um, can I help?" She stepped forward.

"No." Gippal said staying focused on his work. Cooking was the one thing he could do right.

"Oh."

" With this I'm done, yeah? Gotta get up early to catch me making breakfast C— Rikku, but uh, tonight's my turn to cook for family dinner, any ideas? I gotta top Walkers beef stew he made last week." Gippal turned to Rikku as he spoke and smiled.

Rikku nodded. "Y'know, I misjudged you Gippal Trent."

Gippal chuckled as he poked a finger into the thick yellow sauce and tasted it. "Nah, you didn't. But I'm under strict instruction from the Doc to behave myself. Here, grab a plate."

##

Braska paced the floor. He quickly turned to the front entrance when Yuna walked in with Kimahri at her heels jumping and barking happily from his morning walk.

He quickly walked over to her and hugged her. Yuna jumped in surprise.

"Uh… did my grades come in or something?" She asked as her father held her. "… Did someone die? Oh my gosh did Grandma die!"

Braska pulled himself away with a sad smile. "No my dear, no one died." He pushed some of Yuna's brown hair out of her face. "Juliann just called me."

Yuna blinked.

Why was he looking at her like that?

"Is she okay? Uncle Cid is he—"

Braska exhaled loudly meaning he didn't want to even go there. "She told me about Rikku, I'm assuming by the change in your face that you knew what happened." Yuna nodded. "You didn't tell me?"

"I didn't think Rikku would want you to know."

"How long did she think she could hide something like this?" Braska ran a hand through his short dark brown hair.

Yuna shrugged. "Rikku is going through a lot right now… a lot."

Braska nodded and took Kimahri's leash out of Yuna's hands. He bent down. "Will you let me and your mommy talk if I let you go?" The damn thing was still barking.

Kimahri barked happily. His tail wagging so fiercely that it slapped into Yuna's leg over and over again without a care. Braska let him go and the dog was off in a flash. "Breakfast?"

"Sure." Yuna nodded.

They stepped into their kitchen and Braska began preparing banana nut pancakes. He knew they were Yuna's favorite. He was always so busy with work now a days that he sometimes lost track of time, before he knew it Yuna was this grown women, making a name in the world for herself while doing what she loved. He hoped she knew how proud of her he was. He hoped the simple things showed it.

"Where is she now?"

Yuna sat back at the small kitchen table. They seldom ate in the dining room. It was always the two of them, Yuna wondered why they even had one. Their home was smaller than Rikku's but decorated like the homes in Bevelle were, warm, and great at retaining heat. The off touch of Besaidian fabric could be found all over though. Yuna had lived there for most of her young childhood and thought it her home. "She's staying with Paine for now, but she will probably come over here. You don't think that would cause some problems with Uncle Cid do you?"

"Paine, the model." Braska nodded ignoring the question about his brother in law. "I like her."

"You've met?"

"Only once, but she seems well off."

"Well, not exactly."

"How do you mean?"

"She's just hasn't been spoiled like Rikku and I have been."

Braska chuckled. "Good. What do you think of her? Juliann seems to trust her, but she doesn't seem to really like her." Then again she didn't like many people.

Yuna leaned forward at the table. Her father was so easy to talk to. "At first I wasn't sure, but we got to work with each other a lot when it came to the show, it turns out she is very giving and intelligent. She's smart Father, like… I know it sounds bad but wasn't I raised to believe that people from, who live in bad areas or who have pasts… I should distance myself from?"

"Were you raised that way?" Braska asked.

Yuna chuckled. "Well society has defiantly made it seem so."

Braska turned and leaned against the kitchen counter. He was holding a bowl in his hands. He outreached it and Yuna got up to take a taste the batter.

"Perfect." She nodded; memories of her childhood spent waking up to this very smell filled her mind.

Braska turned back to the stove. "Yuna, there are only two kinds of people in the world. Think of life as a pilgrimage, you have the guided, and the misguided. It was never as easy as rich or poor, or good or bad, because people can seek guidance, and become any of those things. The source is the only important thing." He poked the batter and tasted it. "Say, you could not have come out any other way… Well I still don't understand where you got this fashion sense, surely not from me."

Yuna chuckled. He was right, her father was a mess.

"But you are a good hearted person, so is Rikku, and from what it sounds like so is this Paine. She's just been a bit misguided. You all are at the same place, no person is better off, you see? Circumstances could land either of you where Rikku was."

"So is it all just by chance then?" Yuna wondered aloud. It didn't seem fair.

Braska shrugged. "I'm not sure, Love. I don't know how much you know, but I'm glad for Paine's existence, I'm glad she was misguided for a little while, because if it weren't for her and her wits, we would be having a completely different discussion."

"What are we going to do? I feel so bad."

"You can only be there for her. I do not want you trying to fix this in any way, Do you hear me?"

"Yes." Yuna nodded.

Braska sighed. "Juliann knows where Auron is."

"How?"

"Apparently he called her from the hospital."

"The hospital." Yuna frowned. "The downtown one? Does Uncle Cid know?"

"Yes that one, and of course he doesn't. I have known your uncle for a long time. I know what state he is in right now. I'm going to see him later today."

##

"You have forty five Ru."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Y'know I'm not sick anymore."

The young nurse laughed. "But it's such a cute nickname."

"It really isn't." Paine joked well heartedly. She worked with an okay bunch. It was around lunchtime and she was going on her break.

After quickly eating one of the cold sandwiches from the hospitals cafeteria, Paine threw out her trash and searched for her cell phone. Luckily for her it started ringing before she found it, making the task a lot easier.

"Hey, Yuna."

"Hey, Paine, how are you?"

Paine shrugged. "I'm okay, you caught me at a perfect time."

"Really? I was hoping so, listen I need to tell you something very important."

Paine frowned. She sounded serious. "What's going on?"

"You cannot under any circumstances tell Rikku this, okay?"

"You have my word."

"Auron was admitted into the hospital early yesterday morning."

Piane froze where she was. "Which one?"

"The downtown one, Harper Grace…. Hello?"

"Yeah." Paine was on her way out of the hospital when Yuna called, now she turned right around and began walking through the wards.

"Father says that he has a plan."

"A plan… What kind of plan?"

"I don't know, but he is going to talk to my uncle now."

Paine sighed heavily. "I wish you never told me this."

"I know, I had to though, I'm sorry. It's for Rikku's safety you know? She was going to come stay with me for a little—"

"She was?" This was the first time Paine was hearing this.

"Right, but Auron knows where I live and I just don't think it's a good idea seeing as I don't know when he might get discharged."

"How do you know all of this anyway?"

"Juliann."

"Who?"

"Leblanc, apparently she and Cid broke up or something happened, but they aren't speaking. Listen I have to go now, Lulu has been wanting to talk to me about something and she has just arrived."

"Right, Okay, thanks for the heads up."

"Of course, oh, and Paine…"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Paine slowed her impatient pace down to a stop. She ran her free hand through her hair and looked up. "Yeah, no problem." They hung up and Paine eyed the intensive care unit where she hoped she had put him before turning around and clocking back in.

##

Rikku checked her phone.

Was she acting crazy here?

The blonde shook her head as she slipped it back into her pocket and helped Gippal put away the fresh produce they got from the farmers market.

It was a beautiful summer day and Gippal had opened up all the window s in the house including Paine's bedroom one. A sweet breeze swept through leading you to believe that you were in a meadow instead of a crowded city.

She usually called, or texted, or something.

"What's that face for, eh? You don't like pork belly?"

Rikku looked back up at Gippal. "Oh, yeah I do." The more she hung around the other Al bhed the more she liked him. It was when he wasn't being cheesy or checking her out that he seemed like a nice guy. She could see now how easily he and Paine must have clicked when they were little.

"So what's that look about? Damn, did we forget something you think?" Gippal began searching the brown paper bags. "Fucking lady, she'd kill me if I forgot her eggplants." Gippal shook his head at his second female roommate came to mind.

"No no, it's right here." Rikku pulled out the baby eggplants. Gippal visibly relaxed. "It's just lunch time and well…"

"You hungry?"

Rikku shook her head no. "It's nothing, it nothing." She waved him off.

Little did she know the guessing game was Gippal's favorite game. "You think we should have made something else?"

"No Gippal." Rikku laughed at the excited puppy dog look on his face. "It's nothing."

"C'mon tell me, I won't say anything to Dr. P, if it's embarrassing… Aha." He grinned. "You miss her?"

"No."

"You do, you do! Well ain't this some shit?" Gippal lifted his knee for the sole reason of slapping it. "Dr. P's got herself a little sweetheart, and to think you almost fell madly in love with me."

Rikku crossed her arms but blushed anyway. "She just usually calls or something…"

Gippal continued laughing.

##

"Are you alright?" Braska asked carefully.

"I'm fine."

"Well slow down a little huh?"

Leblanc took her foot off the gas and before they knew it they were in front of Cid's house. His car was parked in the same spot it had been for the past three days now.

"I'll go…" Braska nodded to himself when Leblanc made no move to protest. He got out the car and walked up the steps to ring the doorbell twice before reaching in his pocket for his keys.

Cid opened the door just as Braska singled out the Bayla house key on his chain.

The two brothers in law stared each other down for a second. Braska frowned at Cid's beard and the five o'clock shadow hair on his head.

"You okay?"

Cid scratched at his chin. "I need to see her."

Braska nodded. "Not like this. C'mon." He slung an arm over Cid's broad shoulders and tossed a thumbs up to Leblanc who nodded and drove off as the front door closed.

##

"No..No… No no no! C'mon!" Wakka exclaimed as he stood up and grabbed at his hair.

Rikku stood immediately and started doing the same victory dance as the blitzer on the screen. "Who do you think taught him those moves!" She laughed.

"Blasted Psyches." Wakka cursed.

"_And that's number eight, Kirill "Brother" Bayla with the goal! Boy I tell you Bobba that kid is going places."_

"_Right you are!"_

Gippal walked into the living room and laughed at Rikku dancing. "Ay come on I gotta show you what the braised pork looks like." He tossed his side towel over his shoulder. Rikku stopped dancing and stuck her tongue out at Wakka.

"It's over." She pointed.

"It ain't over till it's over." Wakka sat back down in concentration as a new play was started.

Rikku followed Gippal into the kitchen. They had been cooking all day and her mouth watered every time she thought about eating. Gippal grabbed a fork and opened the oven door. He quickly moved aside some aluminum foil. "So the whole thing, the goal y'know?" Rikku nodded. "Is that the pork is fork tender, meaning when I stick it…" Gippal poked the simmering pork and turned it slowly causing it to come completely undone. "It should come right apart." He pulled the small morsel of meat off and handed Rikku the fork before recovering the pork and closing the oven. Gippal crossed his arms and smiled proudly as Rikku moaned and closed her eyes. "Good yeah, crazy part? You did all of it pretty much."

"So good." Rikku smiled. "It reminds me of this place Paine and I went… somewhere downtown, they had pork steamed buns?"

Gippal laughed. "Dr. P took you there? Damn this thing is serious." He moved to get a beer from the fridge. "We would just eat platter after platter after platter."

"Eh Rikku, you missin' it ya!"

Rikku came back into the living room. Gippal soon followed after. The three grazed on mushroom tops stuffed with bacon and mashed potatoes as they waited for everyone to get home. Rikku sunk into the couch happily. She was still nursing a glass of beer from earlier. She had to admit that she was a bit paranoid at first. Everyone was so accepting, so chill. She wondered if behind her back maybe they were saying things about her, but as she got to spend more time with Paine's roommates she realized that they weren't that type. Sitting here in some mangled living room with two almost strangers Rikku never felt more accepted.

Though she didn't know in which way they left in the morning, Rikku knew when they came home.

Elma was the first to arrive back in her light blue scrubs and her red over coat. Rikku watched with a raised eyebrow as Gippal pretended not to fuss over her.

"Rules are rules."

"I was fucking tired, I wanted to come home. Hey guys, hey Rikku." Elma took off her jacket and threw it at Gippal. "It smells good in here."

"Yeah Cid— Rikku basically made everything tonight." Gippal hung her coat near the door.

"Hi Elma." Rikku offered her a smile.

"They drive you mad yet?" She asked motioning to Gippal and Wakka. She looked around. "Nooj? Dr. P?"

"Still out." Wakka said not tearing his eyes from the TV.

"Well since you didn't bring the wine this time like you were supposed to we'll make Dr. P get it, I'll call her." Gippal went to get his cell phone. No one trusted Nooj at the liquor store, not after returning with potato moon shine and organic pineapple wine.

"Ha!" Wakka jumped up and pointed to the TV. "Dat's how we do it ya?"

Rikku waved him off. "We're still ahead by three."

"Not for long." Wakka's phone rang out and Wakka quickly picked it up. "You see dat brudda— Lu? Yeah da game is on…" Rikku watched as he got this adoring look on his face. "You watchin' it? Really? Well um, okay tomorrow den. Yeah…. Ay wait." Wakka hesitated. "love yuh ya?" His smile grew. "Okay bye."

"I know who that was." Rikku teased.

"So she talks about me eh?" Wakka scratched the back of his head.

"A little, are you getting a suit for her graduation?"

Wakka nodded. "Her parent's will be there ya? I'm pretty nervous even though I'm not meeting them."

"It'll be—"

"Ah!" Wakka jumped up and began yelling at the TV screen. Rikku blinked, it had all happened so fast. She chuckled and picked up her glass.

They were now only waiting on Piane to get home to eat. The mushroom tops where already eaten out and Gippal had to literally push Wakka and Nooj out of the kitchen several times. Rikku was on her second glass of beer and Elma on her first.

They all jumped up at someone sticking their keys in the door.

"Thank Yevon, I'm starving!" Wakka stood and for a second it looked like he was going to greet Paine, but he went right into the kitchen.

"Damn what did you do take the late late train?" Gippal asked as he got up and took the wine bottles out of Paine's hands.

"Hey guys." Paine greeted tiredly. She was always tired when she came home. Elma waved her hand over her shoulder in greeting as she watched TV.

"Hey Doc." Nooj greeted.

"I see you found your pants today." Paine joked as she took off her leather jacket and hung it up. Finally her auburn eyes found Rikku's emerald ones. "Hey, Rikku."

"Hey Pai, you look beat."

"Long day." She scratched at the back of her head and was about to say something but decided against it. Rikku saw the hesitation. Paine disappeared upstairs and Elma raised an eyebrow.

She cleared her throat. "You should go ask her what's wrong, I know you want to." Elma motioned toward the staircase.

Elma was like an edgier, smaller boobed version of Lulu, Rikku was convinced that they had to be related somehow or else how was she to explain Elma's Lulu like ability to just know something.

Rikku thought about it for a second. "Yeah okay." She put her glass down and climbed the creaking stairs.

Rikku knocked on Paine's door and opened it and then stumbled backwards and slammed it closed; a very deep blush covering her face.

Damn you Elma!

Paine stuck her head out the door a second later. "Hi."

"Hey."

"What's up?"

"I… I'm sorry about.. The shirt." Rikku shook her head quickly. "I should have waited for…"

"It's fine." Paine chuckled to herself. So this was what a little skin turned the confident blonde into? She pulled the door open all the way revealing her new outfit; cloth shorts and a white long sleeved v-neck.

That didn't really help Rikku either.

Paine's legs went on forever and ever

And ever

…And ever

Infinity?

They went on for infinity!

Paine raised an eyebrow at Rikku and waved a hand in front of her snapping the blonde out of her thoughts.

Rikku jumped a little then smiled before stepping into the room. "How was work today?" She asked walking over to the bed and sitting down.

Paine got a look on her face, but just as quickly as it showed up it was gone. She closed the door. "It was okay…"

"Yeah?"

Paine shrugged.

Rikku tilted her head. "Did something happen?"

"No."

"Oh."

"What did you do all day?" Paine asked as she picked up the clothes she had just changed out of.

"Gippal and I made food, and I spoke to Yuna for a little."

Paine looked up. "Did you? What is she saying?"

Rikku shrugged. "We try not to talk about stuff y'know?"

"Give you a break." Paine nodded in understanding.

"I have to still get my dress for Lulu's graduation. Yunie got hers yesterday but I couldn't find one that I liked."

"It's just one night."

"That will be in every picture forever. I don't want people pointing at me like, who's the broad in the ugly dress?"

Paine laughed. "No one is going to say that, trust me."

Rikku waved her off. "Eh, what do you know?"

"Hm, true." Paine looked away in an amused manner.

"Are you sure nothing happened today?" Something was off with Paine. Rikku knew she probably sounded nagging, but something just felt wrong.

Paine went back to looking through her messenger bag. "Yeah." Paine bit her lower lip. "I brought you something but uh…" Paine pulled out the smashed pastry paper bag. Rikku chuckled. "It kind of got banged up… It's probably still fine." Paine examined the two cookies that were now one. "You want me to toss it?"

Rikku walked the short distance over to where Paine was standing. "No way, what kind of cookies are they?" She took the bag from Paine and peered inside.

"White chocolate and oatmeal." The bus ride was a little hot, maybe that's what melted the chocolate.

Rikku took out a gooey piece and chewed on it. I'll have it for dessert."

"Cool, we should probably get down there." Paine started for the door.

"Wait hold on."

Paine stopped. "What's up?"

Rikku put the paper bag down on Paine's desk and walked up to her. "I wanted to say thank you, that was sweet of you."

"Shhh. Don't talk like that around here." Paine joked as she opened the door.

Rikku giggled. "Yeah, right, I forgot. You're badass round there here parts."

"Damn right."

##

"So you guys together or what?" Gippal asked. He and Paine were in their usual spot atop the roof. Hoodies on and spiff in hand… Well Gippal was the only one smoking. Paine just wanted some fresh air.

"Nope."

"Why not, you guys are pretty much married at this point."

Paine shook her head; she couldn't wait for this one. "How so, Gip?"

"Well one, she fusses over you like someone's old lady would, she's got dinner on the table when you get home." Paine laughed while Gippal put up his free hand and started counting things off. "You guy's sleep in the same bed, but you don't have sex. I bet she'd pack your lunch if you let her."

"Alright alright, those things can't apply to us though."

"Why not?"

"Because, and besides it's more of a comfort thing, she doesn't want me to sleep on the floor."

"Is that what she told you?" Gippal grinned. "Damn Dr. P c'mon! You've got this gorgeous piece of ass righ—"

"Hey." Paine gave him a look which prompted Gippal to grin even wider and put up another finger.

"You are more protective over her than I am over my knives." Gippal gave Paine a pointed look. What was a chef without his knives? Nothing, that's what. The longest fight the two ever had was when Paine accidently chipped the point on one of his paring knives.

"Doesn't mean we're married, or in a relationship."

"No? Alright. You gonna be home early tomorrow right? Let's put that to the test."

"What?"

"I'll show up with Dona."

Paine groaned. "Please don't."

Gippal chuckled more and leaned his elbows on the railing. The two were quiet for a while. "All I'm sayin' is you didn't text her when you were supposed to today and she had this look on her face." He waved his hand in the air. "Kind of like I took away her favorite hand bag or somethin'."

"Hm." Paine nodded and looked away. "I wanna wait."

"There is no time like now."

"She's been through a lot."

"So have you."

"I had time though… Rikku, she understands."

"Does she?"

##

Paine entered the dark room and closed the door behind her. She took off her hoody and tossed it aside before getting onto the bed where Rikku already lay. "You still awake?" Paine whispered.

Rikku turned from her balled up position onto her back. "Yeah." She usually went to bed earlier than Paine.

Paine quickly examined her face for tears, sometimes they would come, and sometimes they wouldn't.

Rikku moved aside a little more as Paine came to lie down beside her. "I'm okay." She answered Paine's silent question.

"You eat those cookies?" Paine asked leaning on her elbow. Rikku got into the same position so they could talk.

"I did, they were kinda sticky… Did you smoke?" Rikku asked wrinkling her nose cutely and leaning a little closer to Paine.

Paine laughed and pushed her away gently with her palm to Rikku's face. "Don't smell me, that's weird." Rikku laughed too and grabbed Paine's wrist. "Stop."

Rikku grinned at Paine as she leaned closer to her. "I don't know Pai, I think I'm getting a second hand high… no, a third hand high right?"

"Right?" Paine said getting confused. She nodded. "I guess it would be third, and no, I did not smoke."

"Is it because I'm here?" Rikku asked, her small hand still wrapped around Paine's wrist.

Paine thought about it. "A little I guess."

"Hm."

Paine laughed. "I've been caught. No really though I just y'know, I wanna be good for you."

That had come out wrong.

Or had it?

Rikku released Paine's wrist. "Aw, Paine."

"Oh Yevon." Paine rolled her eyes. She was smiling though. "Go to sleep." Paine moved to lie on her back. She could feel Rikku watching her for a second before the blonde came to lie down against her side. She wrapped her tanned arm over Paine's stomach.

Routine would suggest that Paine would smile to herself and get comfortable before falling right to sleep but that was the not the case tonight. Long after Rikku had dozed off she remained awake, staring at the ceiling. She had found his room number before getting off work. She had stood there at the doorway and battled with herself for at least ten minutes before turning around and heading home.

He was right fucking there!

Paine sighed heavily and turned briefly forgetting that Rikku was right beside her. The violent movement woke the blonde with a start. "Hm?" She rubbed her head in confusion and squinted at Paine in the dark. "Pai?" Her voice was thick with sleep and it would be sexy if Paine wasn't so upset right now.

She didn't know which was worse; the fact that she was basically working for the people that were taking care of that bastard, or that she didn't know right from wrong. It was a perfectly sane idea to go in there and finish the job, and that was scary, very very scary. "You okay?" Rikku asked reaching for Paine's tense shoulder. She could feel how tightly she was holding herself and frowned.

"Yeah."

"I can't help if—"

"Nothing is wrong." Her tone was harsh.

Rikku backed up a little. "Fine." She lay back down with her back to Paine.

##

"C;mon c'mon c'mon get up."

Paine groaned. "You're like a fucking puppy."

"We'll be late."

"We won't be late."

"We will if you don't get up."

"My eyes are open."

"Barely."

"Just… c'mon Rikku…" Paine muttered as she fought with the other woman for her blanket.

"Paine."

Paine made a show of not liking he name used in that tone as she dramatically got out of bed and left the room.

Today she didn't work and all she wanted to do was sleep, but alas Yuna Shaw had other plans.

"What the hell happened to your head?" Paine asked Tidus once they arrived.

"I got a haircut." Tidus ran a hand through his blonde hair. "Gosh does it look that bad?"

"I would get my money back."

Tidus grabbed at his short hair self consciously. He wasn't used to having to do stuff to it in the mornings, especially during the summer where he would sleep in almost every day. But when your new girlfriend wanted you to come to yoga with her, you took sacrifices. The two watched as Rikku and Yuna caught up. "So you guys going out yet?" He asked.

"Why must everyone ask me this?"

Tidus yawned and shrugged. "I dunno, just asking."

"Don't."

"Fine fine."

Once class was over, Yuna found a way to get Rikku and Tidus talking about something so she could address Paine without either interrupting.

"I hate that you are making me keep this from her." A more alert awake Paine said once Yuna walked over.

"Cid wants to see her."

Paine huffed. "I think she's rather see Auron right now." She and Rikku had been getting into little disagreements over the matter. Then having to hide this from Rikku, well it meant Paine was never really in a good mood. She was planning on changing that today though.

Yuna frowned. "My father spoke to him and—"

"It doesn't change the fact that he kicked her out, Yuna."

"I know. How do you think we could get her to speak to him?"

Paine shrugged, she didn't understand why Yuna was pushing this. Just then Rikku walked over and smiled at the two but it fell when she realized they were talking about her. "Excuse me." She said before walking away.

Paine sighed heavily. "Rikku wait." She followed after her.

"What wrong with them?" Tidus motioned to Paine and Rikku at the far end of the yoga studio.

"They're just kind of overwhelmed."

"Over what?" Tidus had no idea what was going on. Yuna didn't think it was right to tell him.

"Who's side am I on?" Paine repeated Rikku's harsh question. "Hey I think it's pretty clear who's side I'm on."

"Is it?" Rikku crossed her arms. "Cause you are always brining him up."

"What the fuck?" Paine looked around and lowered her voice. "You see this isn't fair. All I'm trying to do is help, okay?"

"You've helped enough. If I say that I don't want to talk to him, I don't Paine. It's not okay for you to go behind my back and talk to Yuna about that stuff. I heard you two."

"I didn't go behind anyone's back, maybe you should ask your cousin what she's talking about."

"Yunie wouldn't—"

"I would though?" Paine shook her head. She was cranky, and her body hurt, and she didn't want to say anything else that she would regret. "I can't talk to you right now." Was what she decided to say before leaving.

Rikku watched her leave and groaned. She knew her anger was misplaced, but it wasn't fair!

Paine slept on the couch that night.

"You sure you two ain't married?" Gippal asked when Paine opened her eyes early the next morning. He was shirtless with long sweat pants on and a bowl of grapes in his lap. He probably had just gotten off work. "Cause I mean, here you are… On the couch."

"Shut up."

##

"Can't ignore me forever," Paine said once she found Rikku the next day.

The blonde had taken to the roof once she figured out it was there. She was there now, sitting on the lawn chairs Paine and Gippal had set up a while back. A sketch pad sat in her lap.

"I'm not ignoring you; you choose to sleep on the couch." Her tone suggested that she felt indifferent about it, when really being in Paine's room without Paine made her a little sad.

"Only because I didn't want you to wise up and kick me off of the bed." Paine made her way to the chair across from Rikku. The late afternoon wind had pickup an hour ago creating a nice breeze to the humid city day they were having. Rikku's hair was down and seemed to be enjoying the weather in her white shorts and gray camisole.

"I would never do that on purpose." Rikku looked up at Paine and smiled softly.

Paine gently took the sketch pad out of her hands and closed it before looking back to Rikku and taking a nervous breath. Rikku stuck her thick pencil behind her left ear like she always did while they were in school. "I'm sorry." Paine finally apologized, and one would think she had done something horrible with the sincerity she came with.

"I know. I forgave you already." Rikku crossed her wrists over her lap and looked at Paine. "But I, I think I should say sorry too. If anyone wants what's good for me, it's you and Yunie. I just got a little crazy." She reached a hand forward and held Paine's hand like she did before she left for work in the mornings. "I'm sorry."

"S'okay." Paine looked at Rikku's fingers moving gently against her own. "I think we are all just, y'know, on edge with what's been happening."

"That, and I'm kinda staying here. It must be an adjustment."

Paine shrugged. "It's nice, even though you steal the covers." Rikku smiled. "I wanted to take you out yesterday… Sober." Paine added hoping she got what she meant.

"You remembered." Rikku's smile got bigger.

"Yeah, well." Paine suddenly turned shy, she shrugged a little. "I was going to, but uh. I don't wanna put you through anything, and I don't just want to be a distraction." Paine gripped Rikku's hand a little when she felt the blonde begin to let go. "I… I like you, Rikku."

"I like you too, Paine."

Paine smiled uncharacteristically. "Cool."

Rikku laughed, "Dork." Paine really did look both relived and happy though. It wasn't news to either of them, but it still it was a huge step to be able to admit to liking each other, out loud. "So… I mean, what does this mean?"

Paine nodded turning serious again. "I um, I don't know."

In her head if she had made it to the "I like you" part without making a totally fool of herself, Paine would consider it a successful apology. Now she didn't know what to say and Rikku didn't either. They both knew what they wanted, but in reality they both knew that right now was probably not the best time to start a relationship of any real kind.

"Well." Rikku sat up a little more in the lounge chair. "I get why you are hesitating."

Paine scooted a little forward in her chair. She could feel a serious conversation coming on; one that would hopefully shed some light into what has been going through Rikku's head the last couple of days. "So many things." Paine let out a breathy laugh.

"Tell me." Rikku asked softly.

"It's just hard because when you are so used to hurting people…"

_No, start over_

"Remember when you said that I, Uh, felt important?" Rikku nodded, they had gotten Jambi juice for the first time that day. "Well all that's been happening—it just shows me that you are important to me, and I don't want to hurt you like Au—"

Rikku gripped Paine's hand. "You could never hurt me like he did."

"I know, but it's just… I don't want to hurt you at all."

"So don't."

"I wish it were that easy." Paine lowered her shoulders and looked down to their hands. She looked up at Rikku when she saw the blonde's right hand reach out and go over them. She wore an adoring look that made Paine's chest tighten. She could see it before the younger woman even opened her mouth.

"I wish I knew what to say…" Rikku began; she bit her bottom lip. "To express to you how happy I am when I am around you." She frowned at her words. Maybe they were a little too strong, but they were the absolute truth. "I'm a mess right now, and a part of me wants to leave so you don't see me like this, and the other part wants to stay because I know if I leave I'd only miss you." Rikku chuckled softly at how she sounded. "So, you see, I don't know either. Or, I do know, it's just hard."

They were quiet for a few minutes.

"I want you to be okay,"

"That may take years!" Rikku pulled their joined hands closer to her.

"I want you to be twenty percent okay." Paine joked with a soft smile.

##

It had to be about 7:30 in the evening and the two were still on the roof. Paine was lying back on the lounge chair and Rikku had insisted on sitting on it as well, claiming that they were both skinny enough. It only worked if they both had one leg hanging off the chair though. Rikku didn't know where to start with what was going on. Auron was still out there, so there was that. As the days passed her father had stopped trying to reach her. Either he knew she needed some space, or he really just didn't care. Rikku knew him well enough to know that he did care, sometimes he wouldn't call it right and that was human nature, but it still hurt. It hurt more than that time she fell out of a tree and had to wear a cast, it hurt more than not getting invited to Hailey Boston's party, hell, it hurt more than her brother moving out because Rikku knew that no matter what he would still be there. Her father had opened her up to a new kind of pain, and that just sucked. She had needed him then, and not only had he not taken her side, he had done it in a way that questioned everything he had always told her. How could you love someone so much and still hurt them like this?

She found refuge here, in these strangers, in Paine. It was nice to be free from her worries about Paine at least. You could never take back spoken word, and no one could ever speak the words on your lips. It was good to just be on the same page with her. The whole situation was straining on their friendship, and Rikku hated that because being around Paine granted her a certain grace to accept the uncontrollable and appreciate the good, the now.

The two had literally talked all afternoon about nothing, and everything. It reminded Rikku of their Monday's during last semester.

"… and it was like the coolest thing I had ever seen as a little kid y'know?" Rikku asked looking to her immediate left at Paine.

"How big was it?"

"Oh it was huge, or maybe I was just small, but I will never forget it. Shoopuf's are awesome."

Paine laughed. "Not as cool as chocobos'."

"Wow, I like you ten times less right now, take it back."

"No way. They are clearly the more superior animal."

"Pai, their oversized chickens."

"That you can ride."

"You can ride a shoopuf."

"Yeah but on a chocobo you can reach speeds of up to 65 miles per hour depending upon breeding methods, especially mountain chocobos', their badass."

Rikku just stared at Paine for a minute. "How do you even know that?"

Paine shrugged. "I like chocobos'."

Rikku only laughed. "Well I like shoopufs."

"Yeah you are definitely losing respect points every time you say that." Rikku just stared at Paine with a little grin on her face. "Even more when you think it." She added and Rikku giggled.

"It's so nice outside right now." Rikku observed a moment later.

"… Sometimes in the summer I just fall asleep out here."

Rikku looked to be taking in the noise of the city. She never thought she would like it, but right now, beside Paine like this, in this new place they had in their friendship, it seemed right. Rikku turned to look at Paine. Her smoky hair was styled in its usual manner, and her smile was liquid. "Everyone has been so nice to me here. Y'know you're really lucky to have friends like these."

Paine smiled a little. "I am, huh?"

"Yeah, Gippal is a nice guy even when he's checking me out. It's quite flattering."

Paine rolled her eyes. "That's him, The Charmer."

"What's up with him and Elma?"

"You noticed it too huh? I don't know, she claims nothing, Gippal barely gives her the time of day when I'm around."

"Oh well that's easy, you steal the show."

Paine shook her head. "I guess, but I think there is potential there. Y'know if Gippal ever slowed down."

"Are you worried about him?"

"Of course. He is my best friend."

"So he still, y'know, does other things?"

"Drugs Rikku? You can say it; it's not a bad word."

"I just didn't want to bring up anything for you."

"No, no, he has slowed down in that respect, but he still does it and runs with that crew."

Rikku jumped up. "You said it! You said crew!"

Paine only chuckled. "Please tell me when you go places around here you don't do that."

"You would have to take me places to know." Rikku flirted.

"Twenty percent." Paine warned her, smiling all the while.

"Fifteen."

"Twenty."

"Seventeen."

"Nineteen."

"Seventeen, c'mon Pai you know you want to take me somewhere." She winked, Paine only laughed. Though they were waiting for some arbitrary proof, Rikku knew that she had just entered a whole new relationship with Paine. They were no longer friends who liked each other but didn't say anything about it. They were friends who liked each other, who were waiting on something, waiting to do it right. Rikku suddenly found herself filled with giddy impatience. She never thought that she would ever be like this about someone, a woman, but here she was. Paine was right though, and it made Rikku both find that rightness annoying, and true. She needed to deal with things. Now she had an incentive, a very pretty incentive.

Rikku pouted. "Fine fine." She drummed her fingers on her left leg that was laid out on the chair beside Paine's right. "Can we go get an icy'?"

Paine nodded, Rikku was so random sometimes. "Yeah, we can." Just then something averted her attention away from her. Paine pulled her cell phone out of her left pocket and picked up. "Paine, oh, hey how are you?"

Rikku busied herself with trying to figure out exactly what kind of icy she wanted. She could get the Italian Ice, or she could get the chocobo face with the bubble gum eyes, those were her favorites solely because you got more bang for your buck. She was brought out of her scheming when Paine sat up abruptly.

"I understand yes, but… mhm. Okay thank you." She hung up.

"What happened?"

Paine turned and looked at Rikku. "I just got fired."

**AN: First off, I'm pretty damn sure I have the best reviewers on this site! I was sooo happy to see so many the very next morning after posting. You guys rock! To my readers, I love you too! Lol Anyway umm you guys like this chapter? Questions? Comments?**

**KathleenDee **


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Braska groaned as he turned over in bed and blindly reached for the phone sitting on his nightstand. After running a hand down his face and clearing his throat picked up.

"Hello?"

##

"So they won't say, or you won't say?" Gippal asked as he stretched his legs out. It was the warmest night of the summer thus far, and what better way to spend it than with a few cold ones and your best friend?

Paine took a swing of her beer. "I won't say."

"You don't need to, what they catch you and your drinking problem?" Gippal teased as he motioned to the three empty beer bottles beside Paine on the top step. He was a few steps below her out on their front stoop.

Paine frowned. "You drank more than me."

"Yeah, but everyone knows I drink on the job." He grinned before putting his bottle to his lips.

It was already late; Paine would guess midnight by the way the street looked bright blue with the coming morning. "This guy."

"Guy?" Gippal screwed up his face. "I thought you were y'know battin' for the other team?"

Paine merely rolled her eyes. "I bat for who ever the fuck I want."

Gippal chuckled before coughing once. "First time I heard dat one." He took another sip of his beer, the buzz making him smile for no reason. "We been friends a long time, right?"

"Alright, I'm done."

He laughed. "So you can tell me what the hell's going on y'know. I won't say anything. You have my word."

"Your drunken word."

"C'mon Paine." Gippal glanced at her. Whenever Gippal was drunk he began to talk with his hands. "Y'know, this thing you and Cid's girl are going through… I see it, now you won't tell me because whatever you feel obligated." He motioned to Paine's bedroom window. "She's up there worryin' about you, you're down here worryin' about her."

"How do you know what I'm worrying about?"

"Well you just got fired, heh? Not once have you talked about getting another job, not once have you talked about money or nothin', somethin' else is there, and I know it ain't my good looks." He hiccupped and shrugged to himself.

Paine thought on it as she drank more of her beer. "They fired me… Because they found out about what happened."

"What do you mean?"

Paine sighed heavily, her body vibrating lightly with the fourth beer almost finished. "Rikku almost got raped." Gippal sat up quickly. "This fucker, he almost had her, but I got there in time."

"And handed him his nuts, right?" Gippal nodded once. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah, so, turns out that the exact same hospital I'm working at is the one he checks into."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, and it gets better." Paine ran a hand through her hair and watched a shadow walk down the street. "He's pressing charges on me."

"You want me to fuck him up?" Gippal asked seriously. There was no way he was letting this happen to his best friend or his best friend's… friend. "I'm serious Paine we can handle this the easy way."

Paine put her beer bottle down on the step before her and groaned softly. "That's the thing, that right there… I-I can't."

"But I can." Gippal nodded a glint appearing in his eye. "Hey." He nudged Paine with his free hand so she would look at him. "Shit, I don't even have to do anything."

"No, Gippal."

"And why not? Let me tell you something, something like this happen to a girl I was wit and the guy would be under so fast."

"I thought about it, believe me I did. That's just not me anymore…"

"So you gone soft den?"

"It's not matter of going soft."

"What is it then? Hm?"

Paine exhaled heavily. "This can't be it." She looked over at Gippal. She motioned between them. "This can't be it." She looked out onto the street, the neighborhood and motioned to it. "This? Gippal really? I'm tired, I'm tired and I'm only twenty one. How fucking sad is that?" She picked up her beer. "I won't allow this to be all I ever did, I have a chance and if I didn't screw it up by now then I can't. I need to be different."

Gippal didn't say anything for a while. He sat back and tried to find a comfortable position for his back on the concrete steps. "Somethin' different, huh?"

"Yeah." Paine said flatly.

Gippal rubbed his chin. "We could poison him?" He turned to look back at Paine to find her grinning.

"You're a fucking idiot." She shook her head. "Listen, don't tell Rikku you know…"

Gippal nodded understanding even in his haze. "Are you handling this?"

Paine nodded. "I have to."

##

Braska opened Yuna's bedroom door. "Honey." He called into the darkness. "Yuna."

"Mmyeah?" She mumbled form underneath the blankets. "Daddy?"

Braska smiled lightly. She never called him that anymore. He frowned when he remembered why he was waking up his daughter in the middle of the night in the first place. "Your Uncle has really done it this time, I'm gonna go bail him out then head over there for a few."

Yuna sat up in bed rubbing her eyes. "Bail him out of what?"

"Jail."

##

"Are you drunk?" Paine asked Gippal as they finally stood up. Gippal had accidently kicked his empty beer bottles over sending them clinking and clanking down the steps of their home.

"Nah, I just ain't no sailor, y'know?" Gippal managed as he began chasing stray bottles.

Paine laughed to herself at the sight. She was right at that place. You know the one, where everything was just good, and you were warm, but not hot, just the right warm. You were just a tiny bit wobbly on your feet, but that was okay. You weren't drunk yet, you weren't going to get a hangover. She had spaced out the beers just right. Paine wondered what the time was as she helped Gippal up the stairs.

After brushing her teeth and showering Paine finally made it back to her dark room. She could hear Rikku snoring softly to the left in a little mound under the covers. She smiled to herself then looked at the time. It was around two in the morning. She quietly made her way to the bed and climbed onto it.

Rikku stirred and picked her head up. "Hey." She greeted sleepily. Paine moved to lie on her stomach just like Rikku was.

"Hey.' Paine answered lightly. Rikku smiled at the warmth her body brought with her.

Rikku yawned lightly into her own arm. "It's like 5am Pai, you're lucky you have a space heater. I would have been pissed."

Paine nodded to herself. She had forgotten that Rikku got cold easily in her room. "It's only two, and I'll try and remember that. Sleep?"

Rikku nodded in agreement and closed her eyes and rested her head facing Paine. Not even an hour later Rikku's cell phone began to ring loudly in Paine's ear.

"For the love of Shiva." Paine groaned as she sat up. "Could you put that any louder?" Paine asked glancing back at Rikku who was deep in sleep and undisturbed by the annoying cutie melody Paine had come to learn as Yuna's ringtone.

She briefly wondered if hers was more annoying. Deciding that now wasn't the time, Paine picked up. "Yuna… it's like 3, please tell me there isn't some moonlight yoga thing going on?"

Yuna paused for a second and then almost laughed until she remembered why she was even up at this hour. "Pass Rikku the phone it's very important." Paine lie back down and put the phone to Rikku's ear. Rikku jumped awake at the third "Rikku!"

"Hm, heh. Wha? Yunie? Ed'c myda fryd yna oui tuehk?" She rubbed her face and looked on as Paine tried to get comfortable again. "He what! Yeah... Yeah I'm coming." She hung up and nudged Paine. "Pop's got arrested."

"Cool." Paine yawned "Ow!" She opened her eyes and glared at Rikku.

"No, not cool, Paine!" Rikku jumped out of bed and Paine looked on in a confused manner as Rikku stole her NLU hoody and was putting on her own shoes.

"What the hell? I thought you didn't like him?"

"Are you coming?"

"Do I have to?"

"No." Rikku said honestly. Paine seemed tired, not to mention getting fired for no reason must have had her stressed out. Why else would she spend most of the night outside talking to Gippal? She had to be worried about money and finding a new job.

Paine rolled back over and rested her head back on her pillow. "I'll come if you want…."

Rikku walked over to her and playfully ruffled her hair. Paine groaned and swatted her hands away. "I think I will be okay."

##

"So you're not going to say anything then…" Braska folded his arms as he stood behind Cid as the taller man opened the front door to his home.

He had been completely silent the entire trip home. Cid got the door open and walked inside, leaving it open for Braska to enter after him. As he walked through the dark home he noticed the kitchen light on.

"So… You two sleep in the same bed?" Yuna asked curiously.

Rikku blushed. "It's not like that."

"What is it like then?"

Braska cleared his throat and the two girls looked up. "Yuna." He frowned that fatherly frown, the one that said "I love you, but I am very disappointed in you."

Yuna stood quickly. "Rikku had a right to know."

Cid sighed. "That her lawyer father got arrested?" Cid looked to his right at where Rikku was now standing. For some reason she didn't look the same at all. Her hair had been quickly pulled into a ponytail and she was wearing a worn NLU hoody just a size too big for her. "Why have you come?" His tone was light enough for Rikku to consider answering.

"That's what you do isn't it?" Rikku shrugged. "I still don't like you right now, but I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Braska crossed his arms and nodded. "Well since we all are here, Cid was just going to tell me what happened. Weren't you?"

Cid sighed and went over to the coffee maker and turned it on. Yuna and Rikku sat back in the breakfast nook and Braska leaned on the counter.

"Maybe it was too late of a reaction…" Cid thought aloud after glancing at Rikku.

_FlashBack._

_Auron nodded at the nurse. "Thank you."_

"_Now remember to try and take it easy with the physical activities, You'll feel some discomfort while breathing for the first week or so, but you should be fine."_

_Auron nodded and then turned to leave the hospital. It had to be around ten at night. Perfect timing he thought to himself as he shrugged off his jacket. It was a lot warmer than he thought it would be, and his bandages ribs wouldn't allow him to take it off any other way. His plan was simple; he would drive over to the offices and grab some legal files he would need to completely end Paine Kerrigan. The job thing was the easiest part. Though he had to admit at being a little frightened when he first noticed that she worked here, and then again when she stopped at his door, Auron was confident now though. _

_He hissed as he used his right arm to go into his back pocket for his car keys. A punctured lung was not something to play around with, the jury would think so too. Everything he had done would be over looked if he just played his cards right. _

"_Auron." _

_Auron turned and gripped the car keys in his hands tighter at the look on Cid Bayla's face. "This all could have been avoided Cid, if you had let me lead on a couple of cases, but no."_

"_Me? You try this with Milan over me?"Cid was going to be sick._

"_Partly, but it wouldn't be the first t time if I had succeeded, I've been fucking your dau—"_

_End Flashback._

"So you mean to tell me you put him back in the hospital?" Braska shook his head, in his head he was quite amused, but considering the audience he chose not to let his daughter and his niece see his approval. "You do know that now you can't possibly help with Paine's case, they wouldn't allow it."

Rikku furrowed an eyebrow. "Paine's case?"

Cid nodded with his cup of coffee. He sighed. "I.." He looked to Braska. "We were meant to call tomorrow morning to speak with her, Auron is pressing charges, several actually."

"Then Yuna told me the hospital where she works was where he was checked in, well we plan on calling them too before disciplinary action is taken against her for no reason."

"Disciplinary action…" Rikku needed a minute. She turned to look at Yuna who was staring blankly at her tea cup. "Yunie…"

"We knew."

"We?"

"Paine and I."

The kitchen was completely quiet as Rikku processed. Finally she picked up her keys and her cell phone that had been sitting on the breakfast nook table and stuffed them into Paine's hoody pocket.

"Milan—"

"No." Rikku turned to her father. "No, you don't get to talk to me." She stared directly up at him. "I'm glad you are okay, but I can't even look at you without wanting to hit something." She was hurt, and mad, and mad and hurt.

Braska raised an eyebrow from where he was.

Rikku turned to Yuna. "I'll call you later." Then to her uncle. "Uncle B, I know it's a lot to ask, but…"

"Of course." Braska said simply. In a way he felt bad. Cid Bayla; one of the best defense attorneys in all of New Luca was standing right there, and Rikku had asked him to help her. "Under the condition that you let your father help." Realistically if she wanted the best outcome, he would need Cid's help behind the scenes.

"Now?" Rikku looked over at Cid. "Now he wants to help me? No disrespect Pops but Paine put Auron in the hospital first. She's the one in trouble now; she's the one who got fired. So, she gets to decide, not me."

Cid crossed his arms but nodded. She was right and he was in no position to protest. He had failed at his fatherly duties, and at this point he would do anything for Rikku just to talk with him. He cleared his throat. "I understand." Behind Rikku's back Braska was motioning with his hands to continue. "Will you have her over? I would like to speak with her today."

Rikku thought about it and shrugged with one shoulder. "I'll ask." She waved a small goodbye to Yuna and then left.

##

Paine was still where she left her when Rikku returned. She climbed over her body and onto her side after taking off her shoes. For a minute she just laid there in thought. "I know why you got fired." She tugged lightly on one of the draw strings on Paine's hoody that she was still wearing.

Paine opened her eyes and focused on Rikku as the dim morning light came through the window, which had yet to be closed since Rikku's arrival. "Are you mad I didn't tell you?" Paine asked, her voice was still heavy with sleep but judging by the alertness in her eyes Rikku knew she had been awake for a little while.

The Al bhed sighed. "No."

"Are you okay?"

Rikku shrugged; a plain and unreadable expression was on her face. She turned more to face Paine. "I think I am, it's just, you work so hard and now look at what I did? I feel responsible. I know why you kept it from me… I'm not really mad I'm more, confused. What do I do now? How do I feel?"

"I don't know, and I can't tell you if I did." Paine wiped her face and sniffled. "You've reached a plateau."

"Yeah, I think I have." She shook her head. "I want to be over this." She bit her lip and glanced at Paine. "I want to be twenty."

"I thought you were twenty?"

"Twenty percent, Paine."

Paine chuckled at herself. "Well I don't know about all that, but I do know that plateaus are good."

"Are they?"

"Mhm, see, when you are going up hill, you can't see the top or the downhill part on the other side, but on a plateau, you can see both; where you came from, and where you are going."

"Are you always this philosophical in the morning?"

"Only on Tuesdays."

They shared a quiet laugh and Rikku thought about what Paine had said. Once the fog of emotion from the traumatic event had begun to thin, Rikku could better look at things for what they were. She wasn't a hundred percent okay yet, hell she wasn't even twenty. She still cried in the shower and she still woke up afraid until she realized that Paine was right there. Rikku wondered when it would all just stop. She wondered that a lot when she caught Paine worrying. "I'm sorry." She decided on, she looked over at Paine.

"I never once blamed any of this on you."

"You should have, I mean, if you hadn't met me, you probably would have passed his class, still had a job, and didn't have to deal with all this legal nonsense now. If you hadn't have met me none of this would have happened to you."

"Maybe." Paine nodded. "But I wouldn't have met you." Paine leaned her weight onto her elbow. "Think about that."

Rikku smiled. "I feel like I don't deserve you."

Paine shrugged. "That's probably true too." Rikku playfully kicked Paine under the covers. "That's not funny, you know you do that in your sleep?"

Rikku laughed. "What, kick?"

"Yeah, I probably have bruises because of you."

"It hasn't been that long." Rikku rolled her eyes at the other woman. They settled down into a cozy quiet until Rikku spoke again. "Pops put Auron back in the hospital."

Paine let out an amused noise. "Somehow I saw that coming. The man doesn't seem like the type to let things go."

"Uncle B had to bail him out. In a way I am... Relived y'know?" Paine nodded; she had gone back to laying her head on the pillow and watching Rikku who was still leaning on her elbow. "Then I look at him, and remember how he treated me, you… I get angry."

"Being on a plateau doesn't mean you have everything figured out."

"Do you think I should forgive him?"

"Rikku—"

"I just want to hear your ideas, you and I think differently."

Paine motioned to Rikku's pastel pink sleeping shirt. "Obviously." Rikku tilted her head and gave Paine a "c'mon," look. The taller woman sighed and grew thoughtful. "You don't hate him." It was obvious to Paine when she jumped out of bed earlier that morning to see if he was okay. "I think you just need time, Rikku."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"He asked for me to bring you by this morning, to apologize. Uncle B wants to talk to the both of us too."

Paine nodded. "We should go."

Rikku lay back down. "You think?"

"I think it would be good for you."

Rikku nodded and then yawned quietly. "I'm still tired though." She pouted. "Are you going to the gym?"

Paine nodded. "In a minute. Why?"

"Will you be back before eleven?"

Paine turned to check the time, it was six something in the morning. "Yeah, I'll probably be back by nine." Paine began to get out of bed. "What do you want for breakfast; I'll pick something up on my way back."

"Gippal's not here?" He always made breakfast.

"No, he has Sundays and Mondays off, sometimes Tuesdays but it's the summer, so the restaurant is pretty busy." Poor guy was probably hung over.

"Okay, whatever you want to get."

"Fruit? Doughnuts?"

"Whatever you want, Paine."

Paine sighed. She was looking for her gym bag. "You say that, but then when I come back with bagels again you're going to give me that look."

"Whatever you want besides bagels."

"I don't want anything else."

Rikku sighed. "Steak and eggs sandwich?"

"From Mac Ronalds?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Paine put on her socks and then grabbed her shoes. She took a minute to look for her hoody but stopped when she noticed Rikku huddled up in it. A strange feeling came over her, but then she pushed it aside. "I'll be back."

"Mhm." Rikku waved as she tried to get comfortable again.

##

"I still don't get it." Paine said as she placed the greasy wax paper wrapped sandwich in front of Rikku a few hours later.

"What's not to get? They're boring." She had showered and changed into a playful sundress with vibrate colors of red, yellow, orange, green, and pink. She had her sunglasses on top of her wild hair and wore her usual bangles. Paine took this as a good sign, she hadn't worn them since the whole thing happened.

"But you live in the city, how can you not like fresh bagels?" Paine handed Rikku a few napkins and watched for a second as the Al bhed unwrapped her breakfast sandwich like it was Christmas morning. She turned to her brown paper bag and inhaled deeply letting the intoxicating aroma of her breakfast fill her nose.

"I wasn't born here like you were."

"You smell that? Warm, buttery, and most importantly fresh." She pulled out her pre buttered cinnamon raisin bagel from its bag. "Oh, and I got a free coffee, you know why?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You offer to do something special for the cashier?"

Paine almost laughed. "No, because today is customer appreciation day, everyone gets a free coffee. That's what you get when you shop at local businesses: appreciation."

Rikku laughed. "How much did you breakfast cost?" Paine shrugged and went to get a seat beside Rikku on one of the stools. "C'mon, how much?"

"I am willing to sacrifice an extra buck for quality."

"Yeah, okay." Rikku went back to eating her yummy sandwich. She watched as Paine meticulously set up her breakfast. It was then that it hit her, quite randomly she would admit, that she would do whatever she could to undo what she had done to Paine, even if it took forgiving her father and admitting to her past wrongs to everyone, she would gladly do it to have more breakfasts with her. It wasn't just about Rikku, and even though Paine would never admit to how shitty the situation was, she was in it because of her.

"What's that look?" Paine asked as she fought to open her coffee.

Rikku caught herself. "Nothing." She went back to eating.

##

"May we talk in private?" Cid asked once the two girls arrived at the Bayla household. Paine nodded, she glanced at Rikku once before disappearing into the den with Cid.

"Why do I feel like I just sent her to her death?"

Braska laughed. "Meeting the parents is always a big deal."

Rikku shrugged. "But Paine has already—"That's when she caught his tone. Rikku turned to look at her Uncle curiously.

"I remember when I met your grandparents." He shook his head and whistled.

Rikku still stared wondering if he were implying what she thought he was. "Paine and I aren't like… That." Suddenly she felt really bad. She wasn't ashamed. "I mean we kinda are I guess, but we don't… We aren't…"

Braska laughed. "Relax will you?"

Rikku groaned. "How can I? I hope he doesn't give her the whole "when you have kids you'll understand speech."

"But when you have kid's you will understand."

"Oh please." Rikku shook her head. She didn't want to hear any of it. There was no real excuse for how he father reacted.

"Your father is sorry you know." Braska added when he noticed how Rikku's mood changed from one of worry to one of digust.

"I know, but It can't be that easy Uncle B, he really hurt me."

Braska nodded. "I understand."

##

"When you have kids of your own, you will understand."

Paine simply nodded.

"I'm not using it as an excuse, no, I know what I have done wrong. I accept that I was horrid to Milan. I'll never forgive myself..."

##

"Yuna? Oh, she went with the boy to the mall to return a dress."

"The boy?"

"Teedus?"

Rikku giggled. "Oh, him. New haircut looks nice on him, hm?"

Braska rubbed his chin. "Well he doesn't look like a beach bum now if that's what you are asking." Ten minutes passed and both Rikku and Braska began to wonder.

"They've been in there a while…" Rikku glanced at the time. Braska nodded in agreement. "Should we—" Just then Paine stepped out of the den looking a little lost at first. "You okay?" Rikku asked curiously as she came to sit beside her in the breakfast nook.

"Yeah." She answered eventually.

##

"What's wrong with her?" Rikku asked in a whisper as she and Yuna waited outside the bathroom stall Lulu had locked herself in.

"I think she thinks she looks fat." Yuna whispered back.

"I can hear you both." Lulu said dryly.

"Ah, Lulu it's okay, one you just have big boobs, and two, the gown in dark blue, no one will ever notice if you put on a little weight."

Lulu began to sniffle, which was a lot from the woman who barely smiled.

"Rikku!" Yuna scolded.

"What!" Rikku shrugged.

"You're making it worse."

##

Gippal laughed as Paine came down the stairs dressed nicely in black slacks and a white button down. Her hair was even down in with little to no products in it."Where the hell you going, on a date?"

"No." Paine self consciously adjusted her blouse. "Gimmie the keys to your truck."

"Not without saying why you look like a gay biology teacher."

"Biology? I was thinking more physics," Nooj piped up from beside him on the couch.

"I think you look nice ya?" Wakka appeared out of nowhere in a black suit with a white tie.

"You're late you know that right?" Paine asked him.

Wakka shrugged sadly. "I had to sow on a new button." He fussed with his suit jacket as he spoke. "You tink diss looks good ya? Lu's particular about dese tings."

"You sow?" Gippal asked. "The fuck is going on around here?" He looked between Paine and Wakka.

"Just give me the damn keys." Paine didn't have time for this; she needed to be downtown in twenty minutes.

##

"Fancy office you have here." Paine observed as she looked around Braska Shaw's work office in downtown New Luca. They were on the 17th floor, and the entire wall behind his mahogany desk was a window overlooking the city. The rest of the walls were filled with wooden bookshelves' and what seemed to be volume after volume of law text.

"You seem nervous."

"A little." Rikku was about ready to give her a paper bag to breath in this morning. She had mellowed out since then, but still held some nerves. Everything would be riding on the next couple of weeks. Everything.

"Well I assure you nothing is going to happen today. Today, you and I get to know each other better, please, have a seat." Paine sat down in the comfy burgundy chair facing Braska's desk. "Let me make myself clear, Paine, nothing leaves this room but what we both decide on. However I am going to need full and complete cooperation from you to decipher what is even worthy of brining up in trial. Auron is convinced that litigation is his best option, and we both know why."

"My past."

Braska nodded. He sat back down at his desk and moved a few open folders aside. "I can read you know."

"Congratulations?" Paine settled on once he didn't say anything else.

Braska laughed. "Meaning that I already know a lot about you. What I need is your side of the story. You are going to have to go back from the beginning and tell me everything." He opened his top desk drawers and pulled out a fresh legal pad and a fancy pen with what Paine assumed to be his name on it. He just seemed like the type to have his name on his pens.

"Um, I guess it all started when I met Rikku?"

Braska nodded. "Tell me about that."

##

"Picture, picture!" An older woman clad in a stylish gray skirt suit wailed while wielding an expensive photographer's camera.

"Mother." Lulu rolled her eyes at the raven haired woman.

"What?" Mrs. Moore questioned oblivious to the embarrassment that she was causing. "Really, Lulu it isn't like you will graduate college again, hold still for a minute." Lulu groaned and did as she was told. "Yuna, Rikku, get in there." She waved the two cousins over.

"I'm so proud of you." Paul Moore, a tall man with salt and pepper hair walked over and hugged Lulu.

"Thank you, Pa."

"You did good." He smiled bashfully down at his daughter then looked to his wife. "Let's go find the Richmond's to congratulate little Samantha." Mrs. Moore nodded and the two were off.

Lulu took off the cap her parents made her put back on for pictures sake. She smiled lightly at Yuna and Rikku. "I'm glad you guys made it."

"You kiddin'? We wouldn't miss this, right Yunie?" Rikku nudged her cousin.

"Of course not, you looked stunning up there."

"You both look wonderful, what are you wearing?" The conversation always seemed to go back to fashion. The trio talked until they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

Wakka stood there in his suit, with his hair combed and a bouquet of lilies, Lulu's favorite flower.

Yuna and Rikku watched a sweet smile ease its way onto Lulu's face. "You're late."

"I saw yuh walk, I'm not late." Wakka smiled back. "Dese are for you." He outstretched his hands and Lulu took the flowers. "You look amazin' Lu."

"Thank you, Wakka."

Wakka began to look around nervously. "Uh, yuh parents here?"

Lulu nodded. "They just left."

"You want to maybe get some punch and cookies?" Wakka motioned with his large hand to a concession table.

"Wine would be—" Lulu stopped herself. "Punch sounds nice… Juvenile, but nice." She turned to Yuna and Rikku who were both grinning. "Excuse me."

"Oh yeah of course." Rikku waved. "Aren't they like, the cutest?" She asked when she turned to look at Yuna.

"Close second." Yuna joked as she watched the two go.

##

Braska rubbed his forehead. "How do you know this?"

"She told me, and when I look back on it, it was kind of obvious that something was going on." Paine could tell what she was saying was greatly effecting Braska Shaw. He had taken off his suit jacket and began to rub at his temples. He crossed something off.

"Do you know when it stopped?"

"Around when we met." Rikku had given Paine permission to be completely honest. Now she didn't know if she should have.

"Well then she is no longer a credited witness." He crossed off Rikku's name. He took a sigh and checked the time. "Alright, what else? Tell me about him meeting with you."

##

"Has she been there all day?" Yuna asked as she and Rikku drove to her house after Lulu's graduation reception.

Rikku took off her heels. "She hasn't texted me back or anything so I'm guessing that she is still there with Uncle B."

"He said it would take a while to build a case."

"Yeah, I know."

"You're still worried though?" Yuna observed from the driver's seat.

"Well of course." Rikku shrugged. "I feel responsible for all this drama. Paine looked so nervous this morning before I left." She remembered how she continued to ask her questions about different laws all while Rikku got ready. It was so unlike her that it made Rikku worry even more. Rikku pulled a clip from her hair causing it to promptly fall from its high bun. She sighed then looked to Yuna when something else came to mind. "We talked about… Y'know."

"I don't."

"About us?"

Yuna turned to look at her cousin. "Wow, so?"

"She wants to wait."

"It's a smart idea, Rikku."

"What if she changes her mind after all this though?"

"If she hasn't changed her mind yet, I don't think she is going to." Yuna turned onto her street. "Father told me that he wants to get this resolved as fast as possible." She could tell it didn't ease the blonde completely but maybe it would help.

Rikku nodded. "As soon as they build the case, weather Auron is ready or not they will go for it." She repeated her uncle verbatim and sighed again.

"I never understood why you went into Law." Yuna finally said. She pulled into her parking space and began to gather her things form the car. "I mean, I get it, both are fathers are lawyers, but you never talk about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you just kind of go with the flow Does it excite you?" The two got out of the car and walked towards the door. "When I am planning a show, or sketching an outfit idea. I rather do nothing else with my time."

Rikku said nothing and Yuna decided to drop it. "What was wrong with Lulu earlier?" Rikku asked once they got inside and were greeted by Kimahri. The husky mix followed them throughout the home and up to Yuna's room.

Yuna frowned. "She's just going through a lot right now."

Yevon, it seemed that everyone was.

"With graduating and stuff?"

Yuna hesitated. "… And stuff."

##

"… and I couldn't stop. It was like everything that had been going on had built up to that one moment and… I blacked out; I just wanted him to leave her alone for good."

"Alright stop." Braska nodded. "Never use words that imply ending or death. "For good" will cause us to lose." He smiled thinly at Paine. "That was good though. I think I have everything."

"I should tell you…"

"What?" Braska asked closing his notepad and standing. He cleared off the peanut m&m wrappers from his desk and into the trash. They always helped him work.

"I'm a black belt… second degree, Judo."

Braska just stared at Paine for a second before sitting down and reopening the notepad. He sighed. "Paine…" He rubbed at his hairline.

"I know."

##

Both Yuna and Rikku were in tears.

"I just don't get it." Yuna wiped her face and sniffled. "Why couldn't he just stay on the boat?"

Rikku blew her nose in some tissue. "I think it's a metaphor for life or something, No matter how rich or poor you are, we are all equal when it comes to the forces of nature."

Yuna blinked and looked to her left at Rikku. "What?"

Rikku wiped her eyes again. "That's what it says on the box." Rikku lifted the DVD box with the words _The Catamaran_ written on it. "I hate romances." She sniffled and Yuna chuckled.

It was around 6pm and the two cousins were huddled up in Yuna's room dressed down in cozy sleepwear. Blankets, pillows, and popcorn surrounded them as they watched a sappy movie. They had planned to go out but it had started to rain.

Rikku had fully thrown herself into the film, that's what made the tears so real. She had to, or she would just worry about how Paine and her Uncle were doing. She knew her father went into work today to just to do some paperwork for his other cases. He had apologized to both Paine and herself, but that didn't mean she had to talk to him did it? Rikku hopped not, she wasn't ready to forgive him so fast, that's not the way things worked when you hurt someone like that. She wondered if he and Leblanc made up though, she doubted it, Leblanc didn't seem like the type to leave someone and then go running back. Her uncle had also told her that she was busy working as well.

Auron was back in the hospital for the week at least and once Braska called and explained the situation it left Paine and her supervisor on better terms, she still didn't get her job back, but at least they didn't think she was some criminal. He had also put out a restraining order on him for Rikku, so Yevon forbid if he did try something, it would help them in court. Rikku had become a little paranoid, but she knew that what Paine had done to him was probably a little sobering. She didn't think he would show up anytime soon. She hoped he wouldn't.

"Rikku your phone." Yuna snapped Rikku out of her thoughts and motioned to the blonde's cell phone that was buzzing and blinking wildly.

"Oh, thanks, Hey it's Paine." Yuna smiled. "Hey, how did it go?" Rikku picked up.

"Well, it went."

"You sound tired."

"I'm exhausted." Piane admitted. "I'm going to head home now."

"Ask her if he seemed optimistic?" Yuna nudged Rikku.

"Did he seem optimistic?"

"Well yeah, until I told him I was a black belt."

"You couldn't just keep that to yourself?" Rikku asked. It was like she was trying not to get Auron locked up here.

Paine could sense the frustration in Rikku's voice. "No, if I didn't I could get stripped from the federation, not to mention them being able to use it against me."

Rikku sighed. "Alright."

"Are you staying over at Yuna's tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Alright well I will talk to you later then."

"Do you want to do something tomorrow?" Rikku asked not liking how vague their next meeting sounded from Paine. "It is the summer you know."

Paine thought about it as she climbed into Gippal's old truck. "We can go to Central Park, if it doesn't rain of course."

"Okay." Rikku tried to hide her excitement, but by Yuna's stifled laughter she knew it was probably obvious. "We can meet up downtown."

"Sounds like a plan." Paine paused. "You okay? You good?"

Rikku smiled, she had been feeling a lot better these last couple of days, and found it sweet how Paine would check in with her every now and then to be sure. "Yeah, Yunie and I are just watching sappy movies."

"Sounds…"

"Like fun right?"

"I was going to say depressing…." Paine smiled lightly at Rikku's laugh, she fidgeted with the steering wheel. "So I'll call you tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay." Rikku smiled to herself. "Bye bye."

"Bye."

Rikku hung up the phone and turned to Yuna. "I really like her."

Yuna laughed. "I've noticed." It was nice to see Rikku smiling; they had been rare since the whole thing happened. Yuna didn't like to give it a name. It made it more real.

"What do I do?" She whined while throwing her arms in the air and leaning back against Yuna's bed. "Paine says twenty percent… that's how okay I have to be before we could… I dunno, I don't even know what I want from her! I mean I think she was just joking with the whole number thing, I mean how do you measure twenty percent, Yunie? You don't." Rikku shook her head. "Then what? Do we go out and like—"

"Alright calm down." Yuna got up to take the DVD out and switch the TV to its normal setting. "You know you like her, and now, you know she likes you. I think it says a lot about the kind of person she is that she is willing to wait and make sure mentally you are okay." She sat back down with her remote in hand. "It's quite sweet if you think about it."

"I have been thinking about it. Like, when I'm not thinking about this situation, when I'm not scared, I'm thinking about Paine, Yunie." Rikku sat up as if realizing it for the first time. "I think about her a lot…"

"Isn't that how it's supposed to be?"

"I don't know… How much do you think about Tidus?"

Yuna was quiet for a minute. "Hm." She observed in a surprised manner. "A bit I suppose."

Rikku smiled. "You guys remind me of those couples y'know? The ones that are together forever."

Yuna laughed. "Forever?"

"Like you haven't thought about it." Rikku waved her away.

"Rikku, we just started dating like three weeks ago."

"Officially. But y'know he considered you his girlfriend?"

"Now you're just making things up."

"I'm not!"

##

Paine got into bed that night and moved around trying to find a comfortable spot.

She couldn't.

So many things were on her mind, it didn't help that her pillow smelt like Rikku either.

She missed her.

It was fucking pathetic.

Paine willed herself to think about something else, anything else other than her. Not that she didn't mind thinking about Rikku, it was just that she couldn't get anything productive done if she thought about her. It took her a whole hour to fold her clean laundry the other day.

Paine looked around her room from where she lay. Rikku had left her sketch pad on her desk, which she now realized for the first time had been wiped down. Paine thought about looking in it, but she knew Rikku wouldn't like it if she just went through her things like that, especially something as personal as her art. Beside the black leather bound sketch book were a few pencils and a sharpener. Rikku's cell phone charger was plugged in beside Paine's.

Paine stared at the two chargers carefully. She knew it meant something,

"You're losing it." Paine told herself as she rolled over to face the wall.

Jail wasn't an option for Paine. It was one of the first things she established with Braska that morning. It was just not happening; she wasn't struggling everyday to be better just to end up where everyone predicted she might. So, logically it was then deiced that she would fight the charges. Auron had some balls to try and get her in trouble, when the situation wouldn't even have happened if he hadn't shown up. Braska assured Paine that the jury wouldn't like him. Not after he was done with him.

Paine turned on her back and looked up at the ceiling. She wondered what Rikku was doing before falling asleep.

The next morning she went to the gym with a happier than usual Wakka and then decided to call Rikku to see what time they would meet up.

"Mm hello?" Rikku answered the phone half awake.

"You still asleep? I've been up for hours."

"Paine?" Her voice was terribly cute, it made Paine blush a little.

"Yeah, Princess."

Rikku smiled and then yawned. "Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm calling you."

"Oh." Rikku rubbed her eyes. "That's nice." She looked around but Yuna was nowhere in sight. She began to sit up. "Where did Yunie go?" She went to rub her face but then stopped when she felt something on her forehead. "Huh?" She pulled the sticky note off and read it aloud. "Rikku, went to doggie yoga with Kimahri, be back soon, Yunie." It had actually read Yuna, but Rikku couldn't see one without the other. It was then that she remembered Paine was on the phone still. "You still there?"

Paine chuckled. "Yeah."

"Pai, I had the weirdest dream. I gotta tell you about it before I forget."

"Okay." Paine sat on her bed. "What was it about?"

"I was walking down this hallway right? And I had black ribbon in my pockets and…." She went on to tell Paine about the scary dream. "So then I woke up scared and went to cuddle you but it was Yunie and I thought that would be a little weird considering…" Rikku chuckled nervously, "Anyway!" Paine laughed. "You called me?"

"To say good morning and ask when you wanted to meet up."

"Oh, let's meet at hmmm in like two hours?"

"Okay."

Two and a half hours found Paine and Rikku out in Central Park. It was so nice outside Paine couldn't believe that just yesterday it had rainy and depressing. The sun was out and neither Paine nor Rikku needed a jacket. Paine was wearing regular jeans and a short sleeve top and her sunglasses that Rikku claimed made her look famous. Rikku was wearing a bright blue romp with colorful beaded necklaces and her hair down with her few braids and beads. Her headbands always seemed to match what she was wearing Paine had noticed. Nevertheless she looked beautiful. Paine had been for the past fifteen minutes trying to figure out a way to tell her without it being a big deal. Realizing that Rikku would make it a big deal regardless she just decided to say it.

They were walking along one of the trails hugged by the trees. Rikku was walking in that goofy yet graceful way of hers; jumping every now and then at something she was saying, grabbing onto Paine's forearm and laughing or reaching to her left to the paper bag of toasted honey almonds they had purchased from a cart boy near the entrance. Paine was holding them out for her.

Rikku popped a few in her mouth and chewed on them.

"You look really nice today, Rikks." Paine said as she watched her chewing.

Rikku glanced at Paine and let a smile come to her closed lips. She swallowed and then smiled fully. Her eyes were shining and Paine swore if she were the kind of girl to swoon she would have. She was just so gorgeous, and happy, she seemed genuinely happy. It made Paine feel good to know that she had some kind of part in making her smile. "Thanks, Dr. P."

Paine smiled and looked away. "Yeah, no problem."

Rikku continued to smile as they fell quiet. They continued to walk for a little while in their comfortable silence until Rikku pointed out a little pond. "Paine, look! Duckies! C'mon let's go feed them!" She grabbed Paine's arm before she could protest and dragged Paine around the other park goers to the pond. A lady with bushy red hair was already starting to feed ducks. Paine let herself be dragged to the very edge of the pond where Rikku got this childlike look on her face as she bent down and tried to pet their little fuzzy heads.

Paine laughed. "I don't think the momma duck likes that too much, Rikku. Here." Paine motioned to a rock nearby where she knew little kids used to jump from and into the pond. She climbed the small height and then helped Rikku up.

"This is cool." Rikku smiled as she dangled her feet from the rock. Paine sat right beside her leaning back on the palms of her hands. "Can they eat almonds, Paine?" Rikku asked but stopped and smiled once she caught Paine staring.

Paine shrugged and looked away almost shyly. Rikku boldly reached for her face to pull her shades away. Paine looked at Rikku curiously at this and then chuckled when Rikku put them on herself. She pouted toughly and crossed her arms. "Sup."

"Give those back." Paine laughed and tried to reach for them.

Rikku yanked her head back so Paine couldn't reach her face. "I'm so fucking awesome, it's a fucking crime. Who am I, Pai?"

Paine reached for them again laughing harder at Rikku's antics. They got into a bit of a scuffle on top the rock, both laughing like idiots. Neither was aware of the stares they were getting. Rikku screeched when Paine grabbed her.

"I'll throw 'em in I swear!" Rikku laughed as she dangled Paine's sunglasses over the rock.

Paine had one arm around Rikku holding her in place while she tried to grab her sunglasses. "You better not."

"I will!" Rikku laughed as she leaned back further. "Why can't you just share!"

"I hate sharing."

"With me though? I don't have cooties I swe—woah!" Rikku quickly clung to Paine, and if it wasn't for her then she would have fallen off of the rock and into the pond. Paine's arms immediately tightened to catch her and stayed that way as Rikku caught her breath.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah." Rikku looked at Paine because there was nowhere else to look. She had both her strong arms wrapped around her enveloping her closer to her making Rikku very aware of their chests touching. Rikku glanced from her lips to her eyes, then back again.

They were so close.

Was it just her or had she never really noticed how warm Paine's eyes were. She had seen them brighter, more vibrant, but it was this warm auburn stained finish that she preferred. It made her tummy light like feathers.

Paine was pretty sure she was broken.

Her mind was telling… No screaming at her to let go of her and look away. Paine just couldn't follow through with it with Rikku looking at her like that. She glanced at the tan hand Rikku had just placed on her bicep.

"Are you okay?" Paine asked again in a quieter tone. She could feel her hand moving up her arm slowly. Paine's entire body grew hyper aware of this. The slight pressure of her fingertips, the friction her shirt sleeve caused, Paine licked her lips instinctively.

Rikku tripped over her words and her languages as she stared back up at Paine and her moistened mouth. "Yeah, E's veha. I-I mean, I'm fine."

Paine could feel her hand wrap lightly around the back of her neck changing the position completely. This was no longer Rikku holding on so she didn't fall, and this was no longer Paine holding her to make sure she was okay.

They had established that she was just fine twice now.

Rikku straightened up a little and looked directly at Paine, and even though Paine had never seen this look before she knew exactly what it said.

Kiss me

Kiss me now!

Paine hesitated slightly before leaning forward, she could feel Rikku inhale sharply and hug the hand around her neck closer. Paine closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"We can't." She whispered.

Rikku opened her eyes and pulled her hand back to her side quickly. "Right." She said as she brushed the imaginary dirt off her exposed legs. Paine let go of her and looked out onto the pond. She wasn't really looking for anything; it was just something for her eyes to do while the rest of her body attacked her mouth for doing anything but kissing Rikku. She wanted to kiss her, she did, it was just that…

Paine sighed and looked to her hands before looking at how distant Rikku seemed even while sitting right next to her.

"Rikku I—"

"_Right_, Paine." She cut her off. She didn't want to talk about it; the irrational feeling of rejection that two words had caused.

They sat there in silence.

"Nuts?" Paine offered the bag of almonds at her side. Rikku just looked at her with an unreadable expression before sticking her hand into the paper bag and grabbing a few.

"Thanks."

**AN: Heeeeey, don't hate me too much okay? Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen **

"Are you scared?" Rikku asked in a whisper.

She was on her side looking down at Paine who was lying on her back. Her alarm clock would go off soon and that meant two things.

One, she had to get up and help Rikku move back into her room, and then two, she had to get ready and go to her last meeting with Braska, Auron and his lawyers. It was customary for them to hand over their witnesses so the other could be prepared. Then the day after that the trial began with opening statements. Paine didn't know what she was going to do when she saw _him_ though.

She sighed and looked passed Rikku's head to the ceiling. She could feel the blonde running her fingers gently through her hair. Things had become different between them ever since the almost kiss last week. Paine didn't think it was a bad different, but things had definitely shifted. She knew that Rikku was hurt by her not following through, but Paine needed her to understand that she couldn't knowing very well what could happen to her. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

Paine swallowed. "It just seems more real now."

Rikku nodded continuing her actions because she knew it calmed Paine down. The smoky haired woman liked to keep things to herself, but it was in the middle of the night when Rikku woke up to Paine being awake and cold that she was able to confront her about what was wrong. It was just them two, no one had to know.

"Nothing is going to happen to you."

Paine exhaled heavily. "I'm not worried about anything happening _to me_."

"So then?"

"How do I sit there?" She looked from the ceiling to Rikku's face in the dark. "How do I sit there and just let him be?" She really didn't trust herself. "What if he says something?"

"Let him say it. Uncle B will be there."

Paine shook her head and looked back up at the cottage cheese ceiling in her room. She always wondered how they got it like that.

"… And besides, you have great self control." Rikku added; her tone a little off.

Paine looked back at her. "You never let me apologize."

"You shouldn't have to." Rikku continued running her left hand through Paine's feathery hair. The two fell quiet as they both thought about the past week and the upcoming week. The thing about almost kissing someone was that once you almost did it, you wanted to do it more than before. It was like Pandora's box.

"I don't know." Paine shook her head lightly.

"It's okay to be scared, y'know."

"Where?"

"Right here, right now, Paine."

"Alright, I'm scared." Her eyes focused on Rikku's. "I just got out of what felt like a prison, I grew up in one, and now… Now I could go back?

"It's scary, but I know everything will be okay."

"How do you know?"

"The same way you knew," Rikku went to lie down and Paine felt her cuddle up on her side. "Put your arm around me and you'll see." Paine looked to her side and wrapped her left arm around Rikku's body. She turned so they were facing each other. "When you're close…"

"… I don't feel so scared." Paine finished remembering Rikku's fear of lightning.

"You see? It's magic." Rikku smiled hoping it would lift Paine's spirits. She got a small smile in return before Paine closed her eyes to go back to sleep.

##

Paine grabbed her foot and groaned in pain.

"Ooh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Rikku yelped jumping down from her tiny two step latter in her walk in closet.

"I don't know why you insisted on doing this today." Paine grumbled as she hopped to Rikku's bed and took off her left sock. "What the fuck was in that?"

Rikku opened the box at her feet and immediately felt worse. "Uh…"

"Never mind, I don't want to know." Rikku had the weirdest stuff in her closet.

"Are you okay?" Rikku walked over to her.

"Yeah, I'll be okay." Paine's tone had calmed down as the pain in her toe subsided. She looked over at Rikku. "Why are we doing this again?"

"Because, Paine." Rikku sighed. She had explained this several times now. "You said you needed something to do to keep from freaking out."

"I didn't say freaking out."

"And I said I needed my closet organized."

"Yeah but we only have a few hours before I have to go, this is a month long commitment." Paine motioned to Rikku's closet. "You have enough scarves to wrap a mummy, twice. Half of those I haven't even seen you wear."

"You met me in the spring time." Rikku put her hands on her hips. "I just want them color coordinated, is that too hard to ask?"

"Yes!"

A knock came at the door and Paine began putting her sock back on. "Who is it?" Rikku called.

"It's me."

"Come in."

Cid knew things between he and his daughter were strained, and when she texted him that she was moving back in he couldn't be happier, though he only knew it was for the sake of convenience. Not because of him. He wanted to change that though, he wanted to be there for her.

"Hello, Paine."

"Hi Mr. Bayla."

Rikku turned and looked at Paine. "Mr. Bayla? Really?"

"It's respectful." She quipped.

Rikku shook her head and looked back to her father. "Pops."

"I was on my way out to pick up a few things. Are you going to be around later? Maybe we can grab some lunch."

"Together?"

"Yes."

Rikku hesitated. "Um, okay."

"Good. I'll call you." Rikku nodded at him as he left.

"Lunch huh?" Paine asked once they could hear his heavy footsteps on the stairs. "Throwing him a bone?"

Rikku shrugged, "I don't know, I mean he's been dangling for a while now, might as well."

"I hope it goes well."

Rikku smiled. "Thanks, Pai."

##

"Do you want a hug?" Rikku asked.

"For what?" Paine questioned as she gathered her things to leave.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "For moral support Paine, that's what people do."

Paine checked the time. "Fine." She spread her arms and dropped them when Rikku just stood there. "C'mere."

"Can I just say that I spoil you with these? People pay for my hugs." Rikku joked as she slipped her arms around Paine's torso.

"So… You prostitute hugs?" Paine questioned relaxing when Rikku hugged her fully. She laughed when Rikku squeezed her tightly on purpose.

"It'll be okay." Rikku said in what she hoped was a comforting tone.

"I know." Paine sighed a minute before letting her go. "I'll text you when I'm out."

"Okay." Rikku nodded. "Here let me walk you down."

##

"They have prawns here, do you want prawns?" Cid asked as he flipped through a simple white menu.

"I'm allergic to shrimp, Pop."

Cid hit his hand to his head. "Ah, that's right. I forgot. I'm sorry." He looked nervous.

Rikku adjusted the napkin on her skirt and looked around. Pilaf was this white tablecloth lunch spot where all the big names in New Luca went to grab something to eat. Rikku had always liked the place, but her recent surroundings made her feel a little uncomfortable. Why couldn't they just go grab burgers?

"So…" Cid picked up his glass of San Pellegrino and took a few hasty sips.

"Yevon Pops, relax already, people are starting to give us looks." Rikku looked around. "I'm here aren't I?"

"You are." Cid took a breath and then got a good look at Rikku. "But you would rather be elsewhere. What are you thinking about?"

Rikku shrugged and looked out the glass window to her left. They had a little table meant for two near the large Bevellian styled windows. "Paine." She said honestly. "I'm worried about her."

"Braska and I did all we could, we built a solid case, he knows what he is doing." Cid tried to reassure.

"I know it's just that last nig… She just seemed nervous." Rikku wasn't sure if her father would understand if she went there. So she didn't go there.

"The jury won't buy any of Auron's crap. It's why I never let him lead on cases, he's full of it." Cid reached forward and began buttering a complimentary roll.

##

"Now remember, do not engage him no matter what. He is going to use today to provoke you. Get you upset for tomorrow."

"How do you know all this?" Paine asked as she took a seat beside Braska's things in the large conference room.

Braska was dressed sharply in a gray suit and an almond colored tie. "That's what he did for us. It's what he does best." He reached into his pocket and pulled out hand sanitizer and applied some to his hands before sitting down beside Piane and opening the manila packet that was sitting on top of his files. "The way this works is before anything else, it is only right to try and negotiate. This is what Jenkins, that little traitor set over to me this morning." Paine sat back in her chair and watched as Braska read a few lines. She raised an eyebrow at his smile.

"What is it?"

"Simple Paine, we won't even have to go to court tomorrow with this deal."

Paine leaned forward in her chair. "What is it?" She repeated. No court sounded good, but for what in return?"

"It says here… Hm, some community service, anger management and relinquishing your credits in the Judo martial arts guild." Braska smiled. "Shall I sign first?" It was a sweet deal considering.

"My belt?"

"Uh, yes it says here that you would need to forfeit the belt along with any other titles."

"No."

"No, as in…?"

"No, as in no. I'm not doing it."

Braska halted himself from reaching for his pen. "Paine—"

"No." She shook her head. "We prepared right? Let's go to court."

Braska was speechless. Just then the door to the meeting room knocked softly and Peter Jenkins inched his way in, Auron following behind. He glanced at the proposal opened in front of Braska, then to his look of surprise, and then to Paine. He smiled.

Auron Gaurrd did not negotiate, and he would make sure Paine wouldn't either.

"Nice to see you again, Shaw, Ms. Kerrigan." He reached out his hand. Braska stood and shook it a little longer than called for. Paine could see Auron shaking it as if it hurt before sitting down. "So I assume we have an agreement then? Can we all put this behind us?"

Was this guy nuts?

##

"So she dumped you?"

Cid sighed. "I'm afraid so." He pushed around the fried oyster on his plate.

"Have you spoken to her at all?"

"No. We work together on a lot of the same cases, but she has her secretary dealing with me now."

Rikku felt a little bad. She could see on her father's face that he was sad about it, but then again he had caused it for himself. She looked down at her food. It was gourmet macaroni and cheese. She wondered how to make it, maybe Gippal could help her get a recipe together.

"Anyway, enough about me. I know what I have done and you know what I have done. Milan, I know I can never take this back, but I want you to know that I am willing to change. I mean it. In fact I got in touch with one of your brothers agents and got some tickets to his next Luca game. We'll go watch and then take him out, and I will prove to you how much I need you both in my life."

Rikku blinked. "Pops…"

"I know it seems crazy." Cid rubbed the back of his head. "After all this time, but I uh, I have something I want to tell you both. I can only do that with the two of you present."

"Does Brother know?"

"I'm waiting on his answer."

"Does he know about…?"

Cid shook his head. "No, I think it is you decision to tell him or not." Rikku watched as her father fussed with his napkin and silverware. "What do you think?"

"I don't know." She looked down at her now cold macaroni and cheese. She knew what he was looking for. He was looking for some sort of signal that he was forgiven. "It's not that easy…"

Cid nodded. "Actions speak louder than words." Rikku nodded. "Well let me show you."

##

The car ride to the back to Rikku's was quiet. Braska had turned the air conditioning on, and the dull hum was all you could hear. He glanced at Paine to his right. She sat still in her seat. Her face was set just like her mind had been. "Paine." She looked at him. "As your legal counsel I have to say that our choice was not a wise one. I know Auron—"

"Right, you know him. You two were best friends, right?" That's all she had to say to shut him up. This was her decision.

##

Rikku couldn't hold her tongue anymore. "It's just a belt…"

Paine looked up from the bin of scarves. "I don't want to talk about it, Rikku." She had been back for an hour and was glad to retreat to the quiet of Rikku's room. Downstairs she could still hear Cid and Braska talking about her.

"This could have been over."

Paine shook her head. "It's my decision."

"It's a dumb one."

Paine gripped the fabric in her hands.

"I mean, you could get another one right? I think it was just your pride of not wanting to—"

"What do you know about it?"

Rikku stood from her sitting position on her bed. She went over to her dresser. "It's just a symbol, Pai."

Paine stood and tossed the left over scarves that had yet to be color coordinated into a bin. She went to Rikku's desk and started grabbing her things.

"Wait what about the rest?" Rikku asked when she noticed this.

"Fuck them." Paine muttered to herself.

"What? Paine?" Rikku had now just realized the mood she was in. The dark cloud she brought into her sunny room.

"I said." She turned around. Rikku squinted at how upset Paine looked. What had happened? What had she missed? "Fuck your dumb scarves, their just symbols right?"

Rikku crossed her arms. "What's the matter with you?"

Paine shook her head and grabbed her keys. "I have no problem."

"You do."

"Tell me then." Paine crossed her arms as well. "What's my problem? What's the huge fucking problem with wanting to keep something that I worked so hard for?"

"You'd go to jail over that stupid thing?"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, it's not exactly like you worked for anything in your whole life."

"Oh, listen, Paine, I'm sorry my childhood wasn't hard okay? You have my sincerest Apology for that."

"Whatever."

"No, not whatever. You don't get to just get mad and say whatever the hell you want to me!"

"No?"

"No! Okay because I know you are scare—"

"I'm not fucking scared!"

Rikku just gave her an astonished look. "You're not? You're not afraid of going back? Isn't that what you told me this morning? Isn't that what had you shivering in your sleep, isn't that what makes you lash out at people for no reason?" She was upset now.

Paine was scared and so was Rikku, and they were picking fights weather they realized it or not. This wasn't some abstract idea anymore, this was real. Paine's whole future could be wrecked because of…

Because of whom? Was there an exact person to blame at this point? It was so far gone that they couldn't even blame each other. If something went wrong well then what? It was impossible, Rikku would get off free regardless. Paine was upset at herself for letting this happen. Rikku was upset in believing, letting herself be open and then getting an almost kiss and a fuck you. It didn't make sense. She was confused and upset. She was tired of being pushed around and weather Paine noticed it or not she was being a meanie right now.

"You and your father." Paine said pulling on her hoody that was sitting on Rikku's bed. The blonde had worn it on their way over that morning. "It's amazing how much you are alike." Hadn't Rikku said that would stay somewhere? Paine thought it was understood that they weren't talking about it in the day, in the light.

"At least I know who I'm like." Rikku put her hand to her mouth as if trying to catch the words before they reached Paine's ears.

Paine nodded slowly. "There it is. I was waiting for it." She picked up her cell phone and left. She thought Rikku was different; she thought she herself had been wronged for being told everyone from the Heights was a certain way. Maybe Gippal was right.

"Paine!" Rikku called after her.

It was funny how quickly it got cold when the heat of the moment died.

Braska raised an eyebrow downstairs. He could hear the muffled noises of an argument.

Just then Paine came down the stairs two at a time. "Paine?" Braska stood.

"Tomorrow," was all she said before leaving. The front door closed quietly and the two men were left there wondering what had just happened. Cid motioned that he would check on his daughter and Braska nodded before going back to editing his opening argument.

"Milan?" Cid knocked and waited.

"Go away Pop."

"Are you okay though?" Cid stepped back when Rikku opened the door.

"I'm fine." She tried to sound sure behind the tears in her eyes. She flinched when Cid wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Did Paine do—"

Rikku pushed her father away roughly. "Could it be my fault for once!"

"I—"

"Stop blaming her!"

There was no one left to blame at this point.

##

Paine laid out her clothes for court with shaking fingers. Usually she was good at ignoring her body's cravings, but tonight proved to be as hard as the first night.

After her clothes she went about cleaning her room just in case she wouldn't be back for a while. A knock at her door caused her to jump. "Stop." She muttered to herself. "Yeah?" She called. Gippal walked in with two ties. "What the fuck is that for?"

"Which one brings out my eyes?"

"Neither of them."

Gippal lowered his hands. "What you think Cid's girl is the only who's got your back?" Paine huffed at that as she made her bed again. She needed to keep her hands busy so Gippal wouldn't notice. "Exactly, we gonna be there."

"We?"

"Yeah, me, Em, Walker, Nooj. Family y'know.."

Paine nodded. "Thanks…"

"So… What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You keep makin' up that bed like some kind of… Did you finally tap that?"

"What? Gippal no." Paine went to give him a warning look but stopped herself. Why the hell did she care?

Gippal chuckled to himself. "I always thought sex would make you happier… You just seem jittery and…"

"We didn't have sex, we haven't even kissed yet… Well, almost." At the rate things were going Paine doubted any of that would be happening.

"Almost! What the fuck? You chicken out?"

"Gippal get out my room please?"

Gippal stood sensing her tone. "Please?" He questioned himself. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, but would be better if for a second you would just give me some damn space!" Paine spat.

This thing was really getting out of hand.

Gippal blinked. "Space huh? Fine." He picked up his ties looking a little hurt.

"Gip—"

"Nah, its fine. I'll see ya tomorrow." He left and Paine groaned to herself.

##

She couldn't take it anymore.

Paine winced and let out a small noise. Her naked body was covered in sweat and every time she moved her blanket she thought she would surely become victim to frost bite. She rolled over to face the wall and for a split second it all stopped.

Paine blinked and looked at the pillow there before grabbing and hugging it to her chest and then tossing it across the room in frustration. She curled her body up and continued focusing on her breathing. She felt like her body was just leaking somewhere, like her energy to fight this was getting less and less possible to use. Finally Paine sat up and almost threw up from her dizziness. Her vision went a little blurry but then came back.

There had to be another way.

Her phone began to buzz on her nightstand and Paine glanced at it before pressing ignore. She couldn't talk even though she knew they needed to. It was obvious that she was sorry, the three text messages the blonde had sent said so, so did the voicemail. Paine just didn't know anymore. She didn't know and right now as she slipped into some jeans and her hoody she didn't care.

##

Rikku closed her phone and slid it along the floor of the wooden room until it hit the wall across from her with a small thud. She was such an idiot. Paine had said she didn't want to talk about it and yet she pressed. Why hadn't she noticed her mood? All she cared about was her damn scarves. Well they were here now and Paine wasn't. She had all the right in the world to be mad right now. Rikku knew this whole thing could have been avoided. Sure the way Paine talked to her had been mean, and uncalled for, but considering how it was a guarantee that Rikku would be sleeping in her big warm bed tomorrow night instead of some cot somewhere in upstate New Luca, Paine had every right to be in the mood she was in. They had some nerve trying to tell her what decisions to make. They all befriended Auron, she had even slept with him! Who were they to judge?

She knew Paine, and she wasn't alright, and the fact that she wasn't answering her phone made her worry more.

##

"Where you goin'?" Gippal asked from his half awake position on the couch. He always fell asleep there while watching late night TV.

Paine steadied her voice. "Going for a walk."

"Walk off the nerves huh?" Gippal nodded and closed his eyes. "You can't show up with bags under your eyes, not a good look Dr. P."

"I know, I will be back soon." She made her way toward the door and paused before leaving.

The cool summer night felt nice against her skin. Paine inhaled and headed up the street. She didn't know exactly where to go for what she wanted, but her feet seemed to know, it was almost like learning how to ride a bike. Once you knew, you would always know. She flipped her hood up and disappeared into the night.

##

She tried not to stare at the smudged paint mosaic that had dried on the floor of her studio or the little spot Paine had attempted to scrub. She tried, but like a lot of attempts at doing right that night, it just didn't work.

Paine didn't want to talk to her.

She had stopped trying.

She ruined her chance to be strong for Paine like she had been for her. She now knew what her father must be feeling. It made her feel woozy. Rikku didn't know if maybe she was overreacting, if her real emotions were maybe a lot smaller and more defined. Or maybe she still should be upset? It was just that Paine made her feel crazy sometimes.

Rikku thinned the painter's base on her pallet by swirling a fine bristled brush to it. The room was completely dark making this red look blue. Rikku didn't care, she just needed to do something with her hands.

##

They felt heavy.

"What kind of blend?" Paine questioned.

Shuyin shrugged. "It matter? It's good, put you right back to where you wanna be, Doc."

"No, I guess it doesn't." She said thoughtfully. Paine examined the little cartoon happy face etched on each pill. "You make 'em?"

"I got a guy."

"Bart."

Shuyin shrugged his thin shoulders again. "Yeah." He pulled his beanie off revealing a head of blonde hair. Paine stared at him for a second. She had never seen him without his beanie.

"You look like someone I—"

"You gonna buy it or what?"

"Yeah yeah." Paine palmed the three little pills. She probably didn't need three. Her body wasn't used to so much. It had been a little over a year now.

A year and a half.

"Fuck it." Paine said to herself. Her heart was racing from just holding them and her hand where they sat felt like it had been dipped in icy hot. It was a strange feeling that she would admit to missing. Paine stuck her right hand into her hoody pocket to get her money and frowned when she felt plastic. She pulled out a small baggie of jelly beans.

"You payin' me in candy?"

Paine didn't say anything, she just stared at the Ziploc bag of candy in her right and then the three pills in her left.

It was as if her body had been on auto pilot until this very second.

She dropped them both.

"Hey!" Shuyin scrambled to the ground to pick up the pills and when he looked up Paine was gone.

##

"Gip! Gip! Wake up." Paine burst into the apartment alarming a sleeping Gippal.

"What, what!" He held Paine's shoulders still when she wouldn't stop shaking him. "What happened?"

Paine put both hands through her hair. "Oh shit, oh shit oh shit."

"What the fuck did you do!" She was starting to scare him now.

Paine tugged lightly at the handfuls of hair just to make sure this was happening for real. "Oh fuck Gip, I… I was…"

Gippal's eyes widened at the tears falling down her face. "Ay you scarin' me now Dr. P. What the fuck happened?"

She tried to get control of herself. "I fuckin'… Shuyin… and Bart, you knew about Bart making didn't you?"

"What the fuck are you doing down there at this..." He gave Paine a queer look before realization hit. "Are you high right now?" He hissed grabbing her shoulder harshly.

"No!" She shot up. "Fuck Gippal no! But I… I almost. Oh fuck." She put her hand to her head as if remembering something very important. Where had she been all day? "I need to call Rikku."

"It's 4 something in the morning!"

"You think I should go over there then?" Paine asked looking at him seriously.

"Alright." He stood and grabbed hold of her shoulders. "I'm gonna need you to calm the hell down and tell me what's going on."

Paine seemed very out of it, or very in it. Gippal didn't know. "Then I can call?" Paine asked worriedly as Gippal sat her down on the couch.

"Yeah, sure. C'mon sit down."

##

Rikku had fallen asleep with her paintbrush in her hand her back to the wall and her head tilted forward, causing the red tip of the brush to tickle her cheek as she snored lightly. The sound of her cell phone vibrating in the corner of the room completely lost.

##

Paine woke with a start. She blinked a few times wondering where she was before noticing she was leaning on Gippal's shoulder. Paine picked herself up and rubbed her face. "Gip." She pushed him. "Gippal."

Gippal snorted in his sleep. He had his head tilted back in a funny angle that made every exhale sound wheezy.

"You two done cuddlin' on the couch ya?" Wakka appeared dressed in business casual. "Or do I gotta tell Rikku dat friendship prevailed." He smiled teasingly at Paine.

Paine shook her head while running a hand through her hair. Last night had been rough. She was surprised still how sick she had gotten after her body realized it wasn't going to be getting what it wanted. "No he—" That's when Paine realized Wakka was dressed and ready to go.

Wakka was even harder to wake up than Gippal.

"Fuck." Paine cursed as she got up and ran upstairs to get ready.

##

"Hold on let me ask her." Cid Bayla was already dressed and clean shaven. It was odd going to court and not actually being in the judicial process. He pressed his cell phone to his shoulder and knocked on Rikku's door. "Milan, are you rea—" He stopped when the door gave under the weight of his light knock. Rikku's room was empty. "Let me call you back." Cid hung up on his brother in law and looked around Rikku's room. He sighed heavily and paused when he noticed the sketch pad on her bed.

Of course.

He went down the hall and climbed the small set of stairs leading to the attic. "Rikku Milan?" He called as he knocked on the door. The attic had always belonged to the women in the family. His late wife would be up there for hours on end painting or sculpting. When she passed he didn't have the heart to change it. Soon he noticed that Rikku started to disappear there, so he let it be. Maybe it was her way of remembering her mother. He hadn't set foot in the room since donating her clay machine years ago. Cid pushed the door open slowly and a small smile tugged at his mouth.

Rikku was curled up on the ground where it appeared she spilled some paint a while back. She was hugging the now dry paintbrush to her, and had red paint smudged on her cheek and neck. She began to wake up when Cid called for her again. "Pop?" She rubbed her eyes and then looked around. "Oh crap, what time is it?" Rikku jumped up and in a flash she was gone down the hall to her room. A slew of Al bhed curses hanging on her lips. Cid chuckled and was about to close the door when he noticed what was sitting on the easel. He took a few steps into the small room and noticed other pieces leaning against the walls to dry. Had she done all of this last night? The window was cracked to air out the room. "Wow." He said to himself looking at all she had done. He could almost feel the emotion Rikku put into it. Some were sad; slow and pointed brush strokes created a lulling pattern. Colors seemed duller even in their bright state. Other seemed angry; short and to the point. The one on the easel perplexed Cid. He didn't really know what it was supposed to convey.

"Pop c'mon we're gonna be late!" Rikku yelled from her door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." He took one last look at the room and then left.

##

"She not picking up?" Gippal asked. He was dressed nicely in gray slacks and a white long sleeve button down. His hair was slicked back and he had even shaved. Courthouses made him nervous, but he was here to support Paine.

Paine sighed as Rikku's voicemail started up again. "I don't blame her if she doesn't even show." She hung up. She felt horrible for talking to Rikku the way she did.

"She'll show, and if she doesn't she's a bitch and you deserve better eh?"

Paine smiled for his sake. "Thanks Gip, listen you better go inside and get a seat with everyone, Braska should be here already. I'm going to find him."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'll be fine."

Gippal nodded and walked off toward the open doors of the courtroom. Paine rubbed her hands and then shook them out.

"Are you nervous, darling?"

Paine whirled around to see Juliann Leblanc in a fashionable skirt suit with shoulder pads. "I thought you skipped town or something."

"I've just been busy handling a few things. Braska is good, you are in the best hands. The jury seems a bit stiff and unfashionable, a few people from your side of town, hm?"

Paine just looked at her. Was she trying to make her feel better? "I guess?"

"Don't worry." Was all she said before walking into the room.

Paine was beginning to wonder if she knew how to say goodbye.

She paced a few times before going to look for a water fountain, her throat was so dry and her stomach was empty. When she returned she peaked into the court room.

"Fillin' up like an Opera, are you ready, Paine?"

Paine turned to see Braska Shaw looking very powerful in his dark blue suit and white undershirt. She could tell this was his courtroom suit. Rikku had told her about the way her father would dress up when he went into court. You held a presence and the jury would be more favored to vote for someone who liked like they knew what they were doing. Paine had to admit, he looked handsome in it.

"I think."

"You think? You have to know." Braska laughed lightly. It eased her nerves a little.

"Did Cid and Rikku show up?" She asked.

Braska looked at his watch. "They'll be here. Remember everything we talked about and don't let—" Just then Auron and Jenkins walked passed them to go into the court room. "Don't let 'em see you sweat."

"Right." Paine nodded to herself and stole once glance down the hall and to the entrance before going inside behind Braska.

##

"Oui'na tnejehk mega yh umt syh!"

"Milan, I assure you, I do not need your help, move your foot."

Rikku sat back in her seat fully. "Pops, we gotta get there before they close the door."

"I know."

"I gotta say sorry to Paine."

"I know."

"Before she's sitting down because you can't talk to—"

"Rikku… I know. I work here, I know. I'm driving as fast as I can."

Rikku frowned. "Cunno."

Cid glanced at his daughter. "It's okay…"

##

Cid placed a reassuring hand on his brother in laws shoulder causing Braska and Paine to turn around. Braska leaned forward so they could talk without anyone hearing, and Paine scanned the crowds. Finally she spotted Rikku in the once empty seat beside Yuna. Yuna had shown up earlier with Braska and was dressed simply in beige slacks with a magenta short sleeve top. Yuna nudged her cousin and pointed to Paine. Rikku was dressed in very classy black dress with tight sleeves that stopped an inch or two above her elbow, and stockings with black heels. Her hair was in a tight bun and she was wearing just a little make up.

The two locked eyes and Rikku smiled reassuringly. Paine didn't know if it was to be polite or if she had really wanted to say something like her eyes suggested. Paine needed to talk to her, Gippal had basically taken her phone away the night before after the fifth time Paine called.

He didn't get it.

Paine could not go on like this, with this, knowing that things were not okay. She needed for Rikku to know how she felt.

"Please rise for Judge Noah Lancing."

##

An hour had passed.

Braska stood abruptly. "Objection Your Honor. He's leading my witness!"

"That's not leading!" Jenkins looked through a couple of folders.

"Sustained."

"You would know if you stuck around." Braska hissed for his old intern to hear.

"Your Honor, the defense is making snide remarks to my council." Auron pointed.

"That's it!" The judge knocked the gavel three times. "This is a madhouse; get yourselves together before coming into my court room. Braska, Auron. You know better. I'm calling a five minute recess. Don't come back if you are not prepared, or are not prepared to take this trial seriously!" Judge Lancing rose from his seat and wondered off to his quarters.

Everyone got up and headed out of the room without saying a word. Rikku watched as Braska ushered Paine along. She wasn't allowed to talk to anyone.

"You're up next." He reminded Paine as they exited the courthouse for some fresh air. It was a windy summer day, and even though her hair brushed in front of her eyes annoyingly it was a welcome change from the stuffiness of the full court room. Paine didn't know half those people. "Remember, just like we practiced."

"I know." She nodded. "How are we doing?"

"Judge Lancing is a good man."

"He seemed pissed."

"No one wanted to take this case, you know, considering it being Auron."

"Unbelievable, people are still defending him?"

Beaska shook his head and reached into his pocket. "I'm afraid so. m&ms?" He offered. Paine shook her head no. "Have you eaten yet?"

"I was too nervous, and you still haven't told me how we are doing." All the objections were a bit confusing.

Braska popped a few peanut m&ms into his mouth and Paine could tell he was trying to take the chocolate off without breaking the peanut. She heard a crunch. "The easy part is over, I have a feeling the jury doesn't really like Auron, now it's just getting them to not like you less than him, because Jenkins was training under Cid, the prosecution. He takes good notes. All I need you to do is stay calm."

"What am I looking at? If…"

Braska sighed. He was surprised she had waited this long to ask. "Which charge?"

"All."

"Three to five in a minimum sec…"

Paine looked elsewhere. "Years?"

"Remember that most of these are ludicrous charges just to get you here, Paine."

"Yeah… I know but..."

"I won't let that happen. Two days tops and you're out on bail."

"No." Paine shook her head. "No, we'll win."

Braska smiled. "That's what I like to hear." He motioned to the grand doors of the courthouse. "Ready?"

Paine knew that the next time she would be stepping out there she would either be free or in handcuffs. The reality of the situation had come when she sat down and watched Jenkins paint this horrid portrait of her character in his opening arguments. It was kind of ironic how she had done so many things, and hadn't gotten caught, and then finally did the right thing and now was being tried.

On their way back inside she felt someone tug on her arm. Usually an action like this would trigger her into a defense mode, but she knew this tug. It had been there before on her hand or her forearm, and in her chest. Paine turned around and was filled with overwhelming feelings for the shorter woman before her. Three to five years meant nothing for them. They would end before they started. "Rikku I-"

"Paine." Braska turned to see the two. Remembering their argument from yesterday he checked his watch and decided to let them talk it out. "One minute." He warned.

Paine nodded to herself. She could do this, she needed to.

"I'm sorry." They both blurted out at the same time.

Rikku shook her head. "Paine I, I said some things, and I… I'm not proud of how I handled... I—"

"One minute, Paine." Braska reminded before giving them their space.

The two looked from him to back to each other. Paine pulled Rikku aside to a more private corner. "I-I need to talk now okay?" Rikku nodded. Paine took her hand in hers. "I'm such an asshole for the way I acted and you don't deserve that at all. I felt… I feel so lost without you around, and everything in my damn room smells like you and… and something happened last night and I know I'm not making any sense, but you saved me, you did." Rikku slowly shook her head as if to say she didn't understand. "Just listen." Paine tried. She took a breath to steady herself. "One of the reasons I wanted to wait was because I didn't know if I could be enough, if I could do right by you, me being me and, well, you being you, and both of us being us, but you make me strong, you make so strong, Rikks, and I want to be that for you. I know I can be." Rikku smiled softly. Paine had this look in her eyes that she had never seen before. She was talking fast but carefully and was blushing, it was so adorably touching that Rikku had forgotten where they were, what was at stake, all she saw was Paine. "I'm so scared, you were right, you've always been right, and I hate knowing that I hurt you, it makes me feel sick, and I just want to make things right." Rikku nodded. "So screw the percentage thing, it was stupid of me. I just, I'm not used to feeling like this. Not at all, and I can't promise that I won't mess up but I wanna try. I wanna try cause I have feelings for you Rikku Bayla. Shoopuf sized feelings." Paine took a breath and then nodded. She was taken a little off guard when Rikku just blinked. Paine searched her glossy eyes, the beginning feelings of panic starting to form."Say something…"

"I wanna try too, Pai." Rikku chuckled while she wiped her face. Paine had basically said everything she had prepared to say. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Paine tightly. "You're gonna make my mascara run, stop being so sweet." She spoke onto her clothes. Paine held her closer, a sense of calm washing over them both.

"They are calling everyone back in." Someone said breaking up the hug between the two.

Paine looked behind her at Braska waiting then back at Rikku. "I gotta go…"

"Alright." Rikku smiled, her eyes were glistening and she looked even stunning then. She hesitated. "If something happens…"

Paine shook her head. "We'll be fine." She only noticed when she was sitting back in her seat in the courtroom that she had used the word _we_.

##

"The defense would like to call to the stand, Paine Kerrigan." Braska nodded and Paine stood.

The bailiff outstretched his hand revealing a thick book. "Please place your dominant hand on the Book of the Fayth." Paine placed her right hand on the book. "Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you Yevon and all the Aeons?"

Paine nodded. "I do."

"Please be seated."

Paine took a seat in the witness stand and tried not to look at Rikku. She had to win this now, she just had to.

Braska walked over to where she was sitting. "How are you doing today, Paine?"

"Well, thank you."

"You mind telling me what happened on the 9th of June? Just go ahead and walk me through that day."

Paine nodded. She recounted that day without fault until she reached the part when she pushed the front door open to Rikku's house. She had never really talked about what was going on through her head with anyone, not even Rikku. "Go on." Braska helped her.

"I… I heard this scream, it was kind of muffled, but I knew it was Rikku."

"Then what happened?"

"I, um, I pushed hard on the door because I thought it would be locked, and it gave really easily. So you kind have to walk a bit into the house to get to the stairs.

"How do you know that?"

"Rikku and I are friends. I had been over before."

"So." Braska stretched his arms lightly. "You were invited to come over the previous night to a good friends for the day, and you did, but when you got there you heard Rikku Bayla scream for help? Am I right?"

Paine nodded. "Yes."

"So naturally, you pushed open the door, why didn't you call the police, Paine?"

"She sounded scared, and if someone was in there hurting her…" Paine shook her head at the mental image. "No one else was around to help."

Braska nodded. "Did she sound like she was getting hurt?"

"Yes."

"Okay, tell me what else happened."

"I run in, and I hear Auron yell."

"What did he say?"

"He said, I said shut up." Paine made sure to keep her eyes on Braska. Looking at Auron sitting there would just upset her. "Then I saw Rikku in, um, a robe, and it was kind of pushed aside."

Yuna grabbed her cousin's hand in the audacious. Cid glanced at the brave face on his daughter.

"He was pressing himself against her. He had his right arm pressing on Rikku's throat and then his left hand messing with the buckle of his pants."

"What was going through your head at this point?"

"That I broke my promise."

"What promise?"

"Rikku had confided in me that she and Auron had a thing but it was over, and he didn't get that. She was scared and I promised that I wouldn't let him do anything to hurt her."

"What did you do then?"

"I took him down."

"How tall are you, Paine?"

Paine shrugged just as she had rehearsed. " 5:7."

"Excuse me for asking this but how much do you weigh?"

"A hundred and thirty five pounds… Maybe."

Braska nodded and faced the Judge and jury. "Now what would possess someone of that stature to take on Auron Guarrd? All 6 feet one inch, and 200 plus ponds of him? Paine, what were you thinking?"

"I have my second degree black belt in Judo and I teach self defense classes at New Luca University. I knew that if I could get him off balance I could pull Rikku away, to safety."

"How do you explain his nose then? It is broken you know."

"Auron did not see me coming, he actually fell." Never mind the dangerous right hook she caught him with.

"So, Paine. Rikku was about to be raped—"

"Objection, speculative."

"His dick was hard, he was going to try something." Paine spoke up.

"Objection overruled, go on Ms. Kerrigan."

Braska sent Paine a warning look. "She was getting raped and I was the only qualified person around to save her." Paine said.

"The defense rests, Your Honor." Braska sat down.

Lancing nodded and motioned for Jenkins to stand.

"Paine Kerrigan, tell me about how you learned Judo?"

"I was 16, got into a lot of fights in school. My counselor thought it would be a good idea."

Jenkins looked down to the documents in his hand. "I have here the exact statement from Port 3 High school. Does a Mrs. Raymond ring a bell?"

Paine nodded. "Yes, she was my consoler."

"So you admit to being a bad student then?"

"I—"

"Objection, Your Honor, this is cross examination, not cross leading. What's this have to do with anything?" Braska asked.

"Objection sustained, get to the point Jenkins."

Jenkins nodded nervously "Mrs. Raymond got in contact with a Martha Davis, your anger management counselor for the next two years?"

Paine nodded. "I was an angry kid. I'm an adult now."

Braska nodded at her word choice.

"Move it along Jenkins." Lancing sighed. He looked over at Auron stewing in the corner and shook his head.

"Tell me what happened after you had Mr. Guarrd on the floor."

Paine hesitated. She glanced at Rikku then to Auron then to Jenkins. "I tried to kick him but he pulled me down. Rikku saved me from getting hit, but then he pushed her hard."

"And you didn't like that."

"Of course not."

"So you got up and beat him till he was bloodied?"

"No, I beat him till I realized he wasn't going to get up and hurt us. I was scared at how angry he might be, and what he would do."

"Auron Gaurrd is lying on the ground and all you can see is him pushing up against your girlfriend? You got mad didn't you?" Jenkins raised his voice a little.

"He hurt her and was going to hurt us both if I didn't—wait, Rikku's not my girlfriend."

"So you swear on the Holy book of the Fayth that you and Ms. Bayla have nothing but platonic feelings of friendship for one another?"

Paine hesitated and that was all Jenkins needed.

"So you beat him and left him to what? Die?"

"I came back to—"

"To finish him off?"

"Objection!"

"To make sure he wasn't—"

"Breathing Ms. Kerrigan?"

"Objection!" Braska jumped up; his voice carrying throughout the room. Lancing said nothing as Jenkins continued.

"You wanted to make sure that he would never touch her again. Someone with a history of violence and professional training wanted to make sure that Professor Auron Gaurrd paid for what he did, paid for your bad grade in his class, pay for all the wrong that had been done to you, am I right? Am I correct Ms. Kerrigan?"

"No!"

"Then explain all of these!" Jenkins reached into his pocket and pressed a button for a screen in front of the jury to come down. Soon the light dimmed and pictures of Auron in the hospital hooked to tubes that helped him breathe. "Two rib fractures, a punctured lung, a broken nose, severe blood loss and blunt testicular trauma."

Gippal grinned proudly. He was a little disappointed he didn't get to see Paine flip shit and kick this guy's ass.

"Was that protection?" Jenkins asked once the screen disappeared and the lights returned to normal. "Was that what the moral code is for Judo students? Because that seems far over the line of self defense, that was intended Ms. Kerrigan." Jenkins took his time to walk over to where Paine was sitting. He closed his notes and gave her a pompous look for only her to see. "Recite them."

"Recite what?"

"Your code, the very foundation in which you claim to be qualified. Recite the code that you are supposed to live by as holder of a second degree black belt in Judo."

The room was quiet and Paine's face unreadable. Braska cursed himself silently for not asking if she actually knew it.

Paine glanced at the judge. "May I stand? I don't want to half ass it." Lancing nodded and Paine stood. She spread her feet slightly and straightened up. "Politeness." She began in a clear voice as if reciting it in a dojo. "Is respecting others." She looked at Jenkins. "Courage, is doing what is fair. Modesty, is speaking of oneself without vanity. Self control, is keeping quite still when anger wells."

"Thank you, Your Honor the prosecution res—"

"Sincerity," Paine continued. "Is expressing oneself without concealing ones thoughts." She looked over at Rikku as she spoke. "Friendship, is the purest of all human emotions, and Honor, is keeping ones word." Paine looked over at the judge and he nodded for her to sit. She sat down. "I believe that I have done all that to the best of my ability, yes." She wasn't sorry and she wanted them to know it.

Judge Lancing nodded, impressed, and looked over at Jenkins and Auron.

"Does the prosecution rest?"

**AN: Bevelle wasn't built in a day. Be patient there is plenty of RiPa to come, I promise. Tell me what you thought of this chapter, it was a blast to write, once I sat down I couldn't get up until I finished. You reviewers sure are putting me to work. :)**

**KathleenDee**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

The elderly man stood upon request.

"We, the jury find the defendant, Paine Kerrigan… Not guilty, on all counts of aggravated battery."

##

She watched as the water pooled in her pale hands. Paine let it overflow for a few seconds before bringing her cupped hands to her face and splashing it.

Although she looked calm and steady on the stand, she really felt sick. A single wave of nausea passed, and Paine finally steady herself.

Yevon, when would this go away?

It was like getting a hangover at random.

Paine stared at herself in the mirror and then took a deep breath. She repeated her cupping action and then shut the water off and grabbed a few of the incredibly non-absorbent paper towels to dry her hands and face.

A knock came at the door.

"Just a second." Paine called.

Paine emerged to find Braska waiting for her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm good."

He dipped his hands into his suit pockets. Congratulations' were over and Paine had disappeared on him. "You can stay for the counter-plaintiff."

"Will it look bad if I don't?"

"No." He smiled lightly. "Told you we could do this y'know…" He frowned when he noticed Paine didn't seem as enthused as he hoped. "You don't seem pleased."

"I am, I'm just… I'm worried about this." Paine shrugged. Sure she was free, but Rikku would never really be if Auron was found not guilty for the number of charges they strapped onto his case file.

Braska nodded in understanding. "I will do my best to put him where he belongs."

"Thank you." Paine nodded.

"Alright, get out of here; get something to eat, take a walk, do whatever. I will call you around four this afternoon with word."

Paine smiled politely at him and walked off to where she knew her roommates would be waiting.

"So we gotta celebrate tonight!" Gippal grinned.

"Any excuse for a party." Paine shook her head. "I'm glad you guys came today, thanks."

"Don't mention it ya?"

"Yeah, Doc, you know we couldn't let anything happen to you." They offered to take her home but Paine declined. She needed to find Rikku first, and then maybe just go home and sleep for a couple of days.

##

Paine stepped out onto her stoop later that evening. She had spent the entire day sleeping which she so desperately needed. Braska had just called with iffy news. Auron was in custody but they weren't sure of how long for. Judge Lancing had sided with Rikku's uncle and was now pushing for a swift jail transfer to avoid any media getting their hands on this. If the transfer went through then he would be in jail for a minimum of ten years. That was only the minimum for now. A part of Paine was a little disappointed she didn't get to see Auron in handcuffs, but then another part of her was just glad to be out of there.

She looked up the block. It was bustling with activity today. A crowd of young girls around Mackenzie's age were jumping rope in front of one house. The home beside that was opened up, and the smell of thick barbeque smoke pouring out and causing the whole street to smell like summer. It was cool but not cold and for the oddest reason Paine just got the idea that she needed a good swim.

"You awake sleepyhead?" Rikku answered the phone. "Did you hear about Auron yet?"

Paine nodded to herself. "I did, I don't care."

"You don't care?"

"Yeah, let's go to the beach."

"Now?" Rikku asked. Usually the beach was an all day thing. Something you prepared for a day in advance and set out before the sunrise and came back right when it set.

"Yeah." The more Paine thought about it the more she longed for it. She stood. "Come with me."

Rikku chuckled at the other woman's tone. "What's gotten into you?" The last time she had talked to Paine she had seemed depressed. Not at all the attitude she was expecting from someone who just dodged jail time. She had only spoken to Rikku for a brief second saying that she was tired and was going home and would call her later. It was strange, just thirty minutes prior she was blushing and nervous about telling her how she felt. Naturally Rikku had been a little worried, and now, now she wanted to go to the beach?

Paine rolled her eyes. "Its summer right? Pretty soon we are going to be wondering where it went."

"Paine? Paine Kerrigan?"

Paine laughed. She would admit that this was very Rikku of her. "I'll make it worth your while."

"I'll see you in fifteen!"

Paine dashed upstairs and back into her apartment. She grabbed an old school bag and filled it with two water bottles, a small blanket, and a few other random things. Then she changed into her black bikini and then threw on some basketball shorts and brought along her hoody. While she was locking her apartment door she heard a car horn.

Rikku lowered the volume of the music when Paine got into the car. "Ready to ride!" She asked with a cute laugh. Rikku had her hair done in its usual crazy pony tail and was wearing shades since the setting sun was in her face. She wondered if Paine knew that this is just what she needed. She had been at the courthouse for the counter charges and then home sitting in her room all day mulling over this and that. Maybe that's what Paine's sleeping was about. Maybe they were just ready to try and let this go.

The drive to the beach was so peaceful and if Rikku wasn't driving she would have fallen asleep. The car windows were down and she was at a cruising speed. Rikku glanced at Paine once or twice and smiled before looking back to the road. They didn't need to say anything; it had all been already.

They had found a place to park easily along the road. Rikku locked up her car while Paine found a spot and laid out a blanket she brought on the warm sand. "I haven't been to the beach in forever."

"Yeah." Rikku agreed before sitting down once over Paine was done fussing the wrinkly edges. "Ooh, just in time." Rikku pointed to pinks, oranges, and purples in the sky before them. Paine nodded and leaned back on her palms to look up.

"Have you ever been to the Calm Lands?" Rikku asked randomly.

"No."

"Me either, Pops told me that the sunsets there… Just wow, y'know?"

"Have you ever thought about painting them? Sunsets I mean."

Rikku grew quiet. "Why? It's perfect right here."

Paine thought about it. There was no need to duplicate something so real, so majestic. She secretly loved the way Rikku looked at things. "Hm." She agreed. They stayed that way until the sun disappeared where the sea and the sky met. Rikku stood up and broke Paine out of her thoughts.

"Last one in has to eat fiend stew!"

Paine watched as Rikku stripped down to her bikini in the dark, she couldn't make out the details of her body like she had hoped, her body was completely blacked out by the bright moon Rikku was standing in front of, but she could see the curve of it, the small swell of her hips and the smooth peaks that were her shoulders. Paine hadn't even realized she was staring until Rikku chuckled and tossed her clothes at her face before taking off. Paine immodestly got up and chased after her while getting rid of the extra layers.

"Oh! Mother of baby Ifirit! That's cold!" Rikku cried as she splashed about in the glowing ocean. "Paine?" Rikku pushed aside her wet hair and looked around. Hadn't she been running after her? "Pai-!Ahh!" Rikku jumped forward when she felt something grab her ankles.

Paine emerged from the water laughing.

"Oh, you're so done!" Rikku lunged for her.

##

"Here." Paine opened out the large beach towel and waited till Rikku was in her arms to fully wrap it around her. The blonde stayed put right in front of her and smiled up at Paine behind dark wet hair. Paine resisted telling her how cute she was. "You'll catch a cold and I'll never hear the end of it." Paine joked lightly as she fussed over Rikku. "Do you want my hoody?" Rikku nodded and waited for Paine to fetch it from the car. She plopped herself down onto the blanket and hugged the fuzzy towel closer to her body. Rikku smiled at nothing.

Tonight had been so much fun; she couldn't remember the last time she had done something like this. Not to mention Paine in a bikini had exceeded all her expectations. Yeah, that image would be there for a while. Her full breasts and taunt abs, her legs, oh her legs. Rikku blushed at her thoughts. So many times she just wanted to reach out and touch her to make sure she was real.

So many times she had wondered if Paine noticed her noticing her.

They stayed in the water till it felt warm and the once cool air felt icy cold. Rikku left her cell phone in her car, so she didn't know what time it was, her hair would probably be a chore to wash, and she was pretty sure sand had made its way into her top somehow, but right now none of that mattered. Today had been the day she had been dreading over for the past week. Hell, if she thought about it, the past year. Everyone there knew, her father, her uncle, Paine's roommates, they knew the truth about what happened with her and Auron. Paine had made it okay, in the strangest way. Paine had made the truth she was once so afraid of uttering okay. It happened and it wasn't a good idea what so ever, but it happened, and Rikku liked to think she was able to grow from it. It still hurt. Seeing him in the courtroom today gave her chills, and she was ashamed, she was, but Rikku knew she had to get over this. She had to be strong. He would not control her life from prison.

"Here." Paine had slipped back into her basketball shorts but was still in her bikini top when she returned.

"Thank you." Rikku said grabbing the hoody and pulling it on. She smiled at how it smelt like Paine and then looked up at her. "Come sit by me." She didn't want to leave just yet.

Paine pulled on her long sleeved shirt and eased herself down next to Rikku. "Worth your while?" Paine asked putting a hand to her towel dried hair.

Rikku nodded and yawned at the same time. "This was fun." The breeze was chilling but Rikku liked the way it felt pushing against her wet hair.

"You're a good swimmer for an Al bhed." Paine joked.

"Ha."

Paine pulled her knees up and brushed off some sand from her legs. "I just needed a swim."

"I know what you mean. Today was…" Rikku waved her right hand in the air a little. "Y'know."

"Yeah." Paine laughed. The past forty-eight hours had been extremely hard on her. She wanted to feel weightless for a little while. Paine played with the sand in front of her and then inhaled a large breath of salty sea air. "I want a house on the sea. Y'know like those port apartments or some little cottage or something…"

"That would be nice." For such a city person, she could so see Paine out here. "It's relaxing out here, you could think all you wanted to, and no one would bother you."

Paine yawned. "It's true."

Rikku giggled. "I could so see you falling asleep and waking up with sun burn though." She motioned to Paine fair skin.

"My hair would get brighter too." Paine chuckled remembering an incident when she was younger. "Not a good look." Rikku laughed a little more and then shivered as a breeze skated by, she was still without pants. Paine hesitated before inched closer to her and put her arm around her. "You ready to go?"

Rikku glanced at Paine's hand then to her. "You're just too sweet today." she observed with a little smile. She watched as Paine blushed. "Is this you trying?" She ventured.

"I've always felt like I can be a certain way with you, but I always stopped myself because I didn't know…"

"How I felt?"

Paine nodded.

"Well…" Rikku stretched out her feet; tucking her toes into the sand. "I don't know how I could have been more obvious." They danced around the topic of them for a few moments until Rikku realized that Paine wasn't going to say anything tonight. She understood, and decided not to push the topic. Before she knew what was happening she was waking up to Paine gently pulling the hoody over her head and buckling her seatbelt in the passenger seat. Paine hadn't noticed Rikku was awake yet though. Rikku watched her soft features for a second. Her hair hung in her face as she leaned over her wrapping a blanket over her exposed legs. Rikku smiled; did she know what she did to her? She didn't think so. Rikku gently grabbed Paine's hand startling the other woman a little. "One of these day's you're going to fall asleep somewhere, and I'm gonna carry you." Paine laughed quietly as she continued what she was doing.

"You can't carry me."

"I'll drag you gently."

The car ride back into the city was a quiet one. Paine seemed to be in her own thoughts as Rikku dozed in and out of consciousness.

"Paine?" Rikku finally asked. She had just opened her eyes to see the tall buildings and the many lights a few miles away. They would be home soon.

"Yeah, Princess?"

"Will you stay tonight? I just don't wanna lay by myself. My beds too big and I'm still a little…"

"He's locked up Rikku." Paine looked at her.

"I know but…" She looked away from her. It was hard to rationalize her fears. "Never mind."

"Hey, of course I'll stay. I just don't think that…" Paine tried to find the right words for what she wanted to say. "I'll stay." She settled on.

##

"I think you're lying. I don't think you are cold at all." Paine chuckled quietly as Rikku cuddled up against her later that night. Having her body so close still made her nervous and blush a little in the dark. It helped that Rikku was wearing actual pajamas tonight and not short shorts. The image of her flawless body in a bikini was still fresh in Paine's mind.

"I'm cold, I'm cold." Rikku whined as she got comfortable at Paine's side. "You're not participating." She pouted but smiled when Paine put her arm around her. They both just lay there in the dark of Rikku's bedroom for a while. Their light smiles slowly disappearing as the weight of the day returned. Paine was on her back with her arm about Rikku's shoulders and Rikku curled at her side with a hand resting gently on her stomach. Rikku sighed lightly. "This feels weird."

Paine nodded. "I know."

Things had all of a sudden changed from being very complicated, to very simple.

They got quiet again and Paine was almost certain Rikku was asleep until the blonde spoke. "You were great today, remarkable, I'm proud to be the owner of your Shoopuf sized feelings, Paine." She had been waiting for the right moment to say it, and as she felt her eyelids growing heavy she didn't want to miss out on the perfect opportunity to let Paine know how she felt.

Paine looked at her. "I made you proud?"

Rikku gave her a questioning look from Paine's side before smiling softly. "Yeah, Paine, you always have." She patted Paine's stomach lightly. Paine seemed to be processing the information. She had never really heard anyone say that to her. "You say that I make you strong, I think I make you aware."

"Well then you make me very aware."

Rikku made a cute little noise and snuggled closer. Paine chuckled. "You're like a little koala or something." She never thought she would like something as touchy feely as cuddling. Dona had tried it once, it made Paine feel awkward and uncomfortable. She never stayed in bed that long with her anyway. Rikku though, Rikku had this way of just holding onto her side with her left hand and snuggling against her that made her feel warm, happy, needed, and accepted all at once.

Paine wondered when it had gone from that first awkward hug at school to them cuddling and holding one another in this intimate way. It had all been so lost by Paine until now. "I don't like it when anyone is too close."

"I know." Rikku mumbled against her collarbone. She had given up the fight with her eyelids.

"I like it when you are though, Rikku."

Paine could feel Rikku squeeze her gently. "I like it when I am too." She whispered in a far off voice.

Paine supposed circumstances had brought them here.

Would it have been different if she had checked her email ten minutes later? She would have completely missed Rikku coming out of Auron's office that day.

She would have missed her.

Rikku twitched lightly in her sleep causing Paine to dismiss her thoughts and turn her head to face Rikku; studying her peaceful face briefly before closing her eyes.

She could spend her whole life wondering what if. What if parents never abandoned her? What if she hadn't started taking piano lessons, what if she never befriended Gippal and started using? What if Rikku had a jelly bean craving while they were cleaning her closest?

It still wouldn't change her reality.

Paine steadied her breathing and focused on Rikku's coconut and lime smelling shampoo.

##

Paine keyed into her apartment with Rikku on the phone. "Ahah." She smiled to herself. She had just gotten back from the gym. A week had passed from the trial, but more specifically the day she laid it all out to Rikku. She didn't want to jinx herself, but Paine was just in a good mood. She hadn't felt sick all day, she had a kick ass work out with Wakka, and tonight she was heading over to Yuna's to cook dinner again. The three had been hanging out more than before and Paine liked it. She and Rikku were still dancing around their feelings. Paine knew what she wanted; she had realized it finally a few nights ago while she was lying in bed on the phone with the blonde. Rikku had been going on about how her father and Leblanc when she said something that resonated.

"—I mean, I know they care about each other, why won't Pops just grow a pair and grovel? Life's too short to pretend you don't wanna be with someone when you know you want to so badly… And their old! They don't have much time…"

Paine wanted to be around Rikku all of the time. It was a feeling she couldn't really explain. She wanted to comfort her, and encourage her, she wanted to be the person that Rikku came running to if something were wrong, or if she just had a bad day. Paine would gladly be her punching bag and then her blanket. She wanted to hold her hand for more than two seconds, she wanted to be her best friend yet be able to tell her how sexy she looks when she's mad. Most importantly though, Paine wanted to share, to commit to them; it was scary but she wanted to build something bigger than herself with Rikku.

Paine wanted Rikku to be her girlfriend.

I mean they were pretty much that already right? Except they didn't call each other _my girlfriend_, and they didn't kiss, or hold hands, or go on dates.

They had to go on a date.

Paine wondered why she just didn't see this before. She thought having these feelings and admitting them was enough.

It wasn't.

She knew it, and she knew Rikku was growing impatient just as she did with anything but her art.

"Do you find me attractive?" She had asked one day.

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I'm just asking."

Rikku never _just_ asked anything.

"You're gorgeous." Paine had answered honestly. "Beautiful in every way." Then she went back to what she was doing. It was things like that that made Rikku go all soft and smile. She would forget why she was even frustrated with Paine in the first place.

Paine wanted to try and give them a real honest shot. She couldn't do that if she didn't know how.

"_I want to ask her out." Paine had said without greeting to the raven haired woman opened Wakka's bedroom door one day._

_Lulu just gave Paine a look. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't talk to me if I'm here."_

_It was true, they had come to some sort of silent agreement. It was just too weird for Paine to see Lulu around now._

"_I want to ask her out." Paine repeated. _

_Lulu sighed. "Then do it."_

"_How though, I don't know…" Paine paused. Was she really coming to Lulu for advice right now? "Never mind." She wasn't that desperate yet._

That was two days ago.

Paine climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She was going to ask her tonight when they walked to Rikku's house after dinner. That was her brilliant plan and she was sticking to it.

Another reason why Paine had been in such a good mood this week was because Auron was finally convicted. Apparently he had been dabbling in more than just Rikku. Paine shook her head at the thought. She still felt like she hadn't done enough, she still didn't trust herself if she were to see him. That was just how she felt and everyone was just going to have to get used to it. Paine didn't have many things, many people. She didn't care how long he was locked up for. If he ever thought about showing up again…

"…Anyway then Yunie showed up out of nowhere and…" Rikku had gotten into the habit of waking up and telling Paine about her crazy jelly bean induced dreams before she forgot. She would ask her opinion, Paine would make something up, and then they would go about their conversation.

"What are you doing today, Rikks?"

"Yunie and I are going to the market soon… You want anything special for dessert tonight?"

"No."

"Any requests for dinner then?"

"Nope."

"Your low maintenance annoys me sometimes."

"Well your high maintenance annoys me sometimes."

"And somehow you just keep coming back for more."

"I can't help myself." Paine laughed.

"Oh, and Tidus is going to join us too."

"Okay." Paine thought for a second. "Do you want me to bring wine or something?"

"I don't remember the name of the one Yunie likes." Rikku finally got out of bed. "You already do the cooking; Yunie and I just cut stuff up. We'll make Tidus get it."

"Okay, well I'm home now, I gotta shower and then do a bunch of other things."

"Okay, will you call me later?"

"Yeah." They said their goodbyes and Paine went about her usual tasks. She found that summer was boring. Well, a _sober_ summer was boring. She had nothing to do, often times she would make a list a day ahead of time. Today's list consisted of napping and laundry. It was okay though, she had to stay busy. What was that saying about idle minds?

"Is it wrong to assume she will say yes?" Paine asked as she and Gippal walked down the street later that day. Gippal had basically foamed at the mouth with excitement when he told Paine he had something to show her.

"What, are you kidding me?"

"You'd have to excuse me Gip, I've never done this before remember?" Paine crossed her arms. Why did everyone assume that this was so easy?

"Yeah, but that's just a stupid question, you know she likes you, why wouldn't she say yes?"

Paine shrugged. "Well I mean, it could be too soon."

"That's your problem, your perception on time sucks."

"How?"

"It's been like what? A month since you went to trial?"

"A week and two days."

"Oh… Really?" Gippal rubbed his chin. "Huh… Anyway, it doesn't matter; she's waiting on you to get your shit together."

Paine thought about it. "So, I'm asking her… Gippal where the fuck are we going?" Paine asked as they went down an alley, only to go down another alley.

"Relax man, you'll like this a lot."

Paine stuffed her hands in her pockets and took note of their surroundings, just in case she had to run or something. She never knew with Gippal.

Finally they began walking along the rare of an abandon building. "So where you gonna take her?" Gippal asked as he led the way, purposely stepping in left over puddles like a little kid.

"Uh, I was thinking an art show. You know they have one tomorrow night and I already got tickets, it's real casual city art, I think she'd like it."

"An art show… that sounds.."

"She paints and draws Gippal, she's really good I just thought she might enjoy it."

"Uhuh."

"I know it sounds lame."

"It does, but hey Dr. P, you know what she likes right?" Paine only shrugged. "Alight, lame art show, what else?"

"Dinner I guess."

"Dinner you guess? You wanna take her out and you haven't made reservations?"

"Well I had this idea…"

"How you payin' for all this?"

"I have enough."

"You wanna grab a shift with me in the morning, under the table? My damn commis is sick."

"Yeah, a little extra cash wouldn't hurt."

Gippal stopped abruptly. "So you remember my birthday present this year was a little off?"

Paine stopped and crossed her arms. "A little? You basically tried to buy me sex." Paine shook her head at the memory of the twenty four hour strip club.

Gippal laughed. "I admit that it was a dud okay?"

"Uhuh."

"Well I stumbled on this and at first I was gonna use it for myself but I thought it would get better use from you." Gippal moved aside and began to climb the fence behind him.

"Yevon." Paine shook her head and began to follow him. This reminded her of when they were younger. Gippal was the one who taught her how to jump a fence in the first place. They climbed the fence and landed in some kind of storage lot. There were large red and blue storage units randomly placed about, and dumpsters full of cardboard boxes.

"Check her out." Gippal smiled proudly as he pulled the blue tarp cover off of what looked like an abandoned car.

Paine stared. "You got me… A piece of metal?"

Gippal laughed. "I got you more than that, I got you adventure." He put his hand in the air as if reading it in the sky.

Paine gave him a look and then walked up to the old two door sports car. It was a deep ashy blue with one busted window and peeling interior. These were what Paine only guessed were the surface wounds. "It's got a good body on it, but…."

"Exactly!" Gippal walked over. "Now c'mon help me move her."

"Whoa, Gippal, we can't exactly just take this. I just got out of some trouble; I'm not trying to jump back in any." It had potential, Paine saw this, but common sense told her if they could just take it, why did they just have to jump a fence?

Gippal waved her off. "Nonsense."

"I'm serious."

"The guy died, Paine, he had no next of kin or nothing."

"How exactly do you expect me to believe that you've worked all this out in your head?"

Gippal crossed his arms and pretended to be offended. "The dead guy who owned this lot and his lawyer come into Lap all the time. The lawyer was at the bar the other night talking about how half of the shit here was going to be trashed when the city came in to rebuild. They told me I could have whatever I wanted. Cause I'm fucking awesome. This thing is a jewel and you know it, open the hood." Paine said nothing as she walked around to the front of the car and opened the hood. "You said yourself that you were bored with nothing to do, let's fix this thing up." Gippal pushed.

"What about the fact that we jumped a fence to get in here?" Paine looked around.

"All I gotta do is pay the guy at the gate… Don't worry about it, those lap dances cost more."

Paine ran her fingers across the dusty surface. She did need something to do with her time. There was no point in trying to get another job when school was starting up again in a month or so, and she would be working at the rec center and the gym again. It would be easier to get around too. She had always thought that having a car in the city was ridiculous, but that was before she had people she knew way across town. Paine looked over at Gippal. "Birthday present, huh?"

Gippal grinned. "Get in, I'll push."

##

"I'm fuckin' Al bhed!"

"He's fuckin' Al bhed." Paine muttered under her breath. "Just shut up and pass me the wrench."

"Yeah yeah." Gippal grumbled as he dipped into his tool box. They had pulled Paine's lemon… that's what she was calling it even thought Gippal insisted on another "more optimistic" name. They pulled it onto their small parking space where Gippal's old truck usually sat. He moved it somewhere around the block so they would have room to work.

Gippal handed her the wrench and laughed when he heard her curse and the unmistakable sound of liquid. "You okay under there?" Paine rolled out from under the car with her once white tank top covered in old motor oil.

"Definitely an oil leak." She sputtered.

Gippal laughed.

##

"Yellow and teal? Who dresses you?" Rikku asked.

"Certainly not me." Yuna shook her head at her boyfriend.

Tidus looked down to his outfit. "It's laundry day." He explained helplessly. He went over to Yuna and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I brought the wine you wanted… I think."

Yuna took the brown paper bag from him and examined the label. "Yes, you did, good job." Yuna walked off into the kitchen.

"Yeah, let me get you one of Kimahri's doggie biscuits." Rikku teased.

Tidus laughed. "Whatever, those things are actually pretty good."

"You would know what they taste like."

The two followed after Yuna into the kitchen. "It smells good in here! Where's Paine?" He looked around. He was actually kind of excited to be hanging out around her outside of work.

"Yes, I was just going to ask if you heard from her, Rikku. We got this far and now I think I need her help in here." Yuna said as she searched for a cork screw and gave it to Tidus who was fiddling with a plastic wine opener.

"She's usually never late. I'll call her now." Rikku grabbed her phone and stepped into the hallway.

"Dr. P's phone."

"Gippal?"

"Cid's girl! What's going on, haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, I'm good. Um, is Paine around?"

"Yeah she's right here." In the background she could hear Paine saying something. "She's under the car though; you believe she thinks she's better than an Al bhed? You believe that?"

"She's under a car?"

"Oh hold on." Gippal did as he was told and put the phone on speaker and placed in near Paine's head.

"Hey, I'm a little busy right now; can I call you back, Ri?"

"Yeah, I was just calling to make sure you were still coming to Yuna's—"

"Fuck. Gip, what time is it?" Rikku could hear Gippal's far off voice telling her the time. "Damnit, Rikku um..."

Paine wheeled herself from under the car and quickly wiped her hands before picking up her phone and switching it off speaker. "You still there?" She asked as she tossed Gippal her oily rag. "Don't do anything till I come back." Paine warned as she jogged up the stairs to their apartment.

"Paine the floor!" Elma shrieked when Paine ran into the apartment in her oily sneakers.

"Yeah, I'm still here, you forgot about dinner?"

"No, I didn't forget I just, okay yeah I forgot." Paine felt really bad, this was not how she wanted to start out the evening. "Listen I'm hopping in the shower now, I'll be there soon."

"Okay."

"Alright bye." Paine hung up and quickly stripped out of her oily clothes once she was in her room and carefully put them in a plastic bag so they wouldn't mess up her others. She had planned to pick out her outfit, maybe even put on a little make-up. She wanted to put her best foot forward, but now that she was running late Paine just grabbed the first things she saw; a pair of skinny jeans and a long sleeved v-neck with a stylish hood that was just there to be there.

Three minutes into washing her hair free of oil, the water shut off. "You gotta be fucking kidding me…"

Elma raised an eyebrow and Nooj whistled as Paine marched down the stairs in nothing but a towel.

##

Tidus skimmed through the cookbook. "Why did you guys pick the hardest recipe ever?"

"Pai, was supposed to help us make it! How was I supposed to know it was this hard?" Rikku exclaimed.

Yuna squinted as she read over Tidus's shoulder. "We can do it guys, we just need… A dictionary or something. What's an amillaire?"

"…mushrrom…errr something?"

"She's always talking about me being late, and then look, she's late." Rikku shook her head.

"Forget the cookbook, we don't need it, here babe, gimmie that." Tidus reached for the wooden spoon in Yuna's hand.

Yuna and Rikku watched on in worry as Tidus began adding things to the pot. "Does he know what he's doing?" Rikku asked.

"I think he thinks he's saving the day."

"You still have the pizza menu for Donte's don't you?"

"I'll go get it."

##

Paine took a steady breath and rang the doorbell. She checked the time quickly; she was going on forty-five minutes late now. Rikku answered the door and Paine just knew she was in trouble. "Hey Princess."

"Hi Paine."

Not Pai, or Dr.P or any little cutie nick name she had been calling her lately.

Just Paine

Paine groaned. "I'm sorry I'm late, I just lost track of time, and I really didn't mean to—"

Rikku smiled lightly. "It's fine." She stepped aside to let her in. "Pizza just got here."

"Where's Kimahri?" Paine asked. Every time she had come over whether it was to see Braska or Yuna, the large husky mix would greet her at the door and follow her around until she left and even then he would paw at the door for a little while.

Rikku tugged gently at Paine's leather jacket. Paine took it off so she could hang it. "Tidus is here remember? I think Yunie locked him in her room so he wouldn't try and maul him again."

Paine chuckled. "So we can't let him out because…?" Rikku laughed and began to walk toward the kitchen when Paine stopped her by grabbing her arm lightly. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"You're not mad right?"

Rikku smiled at how cute a sorry Paine looked. "No, I'm not mad… You just have to do dishes."

##

"I gotta tell you Paine; this is some of the best food I have ever had. Yuna was right to brag."

"Just because you are all the way across the room doesn't mean I can't hurt you." She wouldn't move even if she wanted to though. She and Rikku were on the loveseat in Yuna's living room. Rikku was happily munching away on a pizza slice with her legs on Paine's lap.

Tidus laughed. "We're not at work; you can't threaten me like that. Yuna, tell she can't do that here." Tidus nudged his girlfriend lightly.

"Leave Paine alone." Rikku piped up. "You're just mad because we won at Pictionary."

"You can draw and no one told me! It's not fair!"

Paine laughed. "He's still mad about it." She shook her head.

"You really could have drawn those stick figures with a little more detail." Yuna nodded at Tidus.

"Yeah whatever." Tidus grumbled. "Oh, so did you guys get that email from school?"

The entire room groaned. "Really? You're brining this up now?" Rikku asked nibbling on the crust.

"What did the email say?" Paine asked.

"It was informing us that we should pick our classes for the fall semester soon." Yuna said as she daintily wiped her hands in a napkin. Donte's pizza was always so greasy. "I've already got mine picked out."

"Of course you do, Yunie." Rikku shook her head and then pouted. "I don't wanna go back."

"I have to start early, it's the only reason I asked if you all got It yet." Tidus said reaching for his soda.

"So you and Wakka worked it out then?" Paine asked.

"I'm unofficial until spring semester, but then I'll be starting. Which is awesome."

"Did you get a call from Simone?"

"Yeah, I did, she asked if I could work welcome back week, are you doing that?"

Paine shrugged. "I might, It depends on if I feel like dealing with a bunch of little freshmen…"

"That's a no." Rikku snorted.

"I was thinking about having a huge end of the summer party at my place." Tidus said. "But that's not for a while."

"Yeah, so let's please stop talking about school and talk about something interesting." Rikku looked over to Yuna. "Yunie, has been talking about a show in the works?"

"It's in its infancy really, the school approached Lulu and I about doing another one. We're waiting to hear what kind of budget and resources we would be able to use."

"Will it be themed again?" Paine asked.

Yuna nodded. "Lulu and I have such different styles, it's always fun to give it a theme and see what happens."

"How's she been doing?"

Yuna gave Paine an odd look. "…She's fine."

Paine nodded and was about to say something when the front door opened and Braska's voice could be heard laughing. "We shall see." He joked. Rikku raised an eyebrow at his tone.

"Yuna? Are you home?"

"We're all in here." Yuna stood and Rikku's eyebrow rose even higher, she actually nudged Paine so she would look behind her.

Paine turned her head to see Braska holding up a very drunk Leblanc. Both their clothes were slightly roughed up and they seemed to both wearing small grins.

"Darlings!" Juliann greeted.

##

"Should I tell him? I should tell him." Rikku had her hands stuff into her jacket pockets as she and Paine walked the manageable distance from Yuna's house to her own. "I mean did you see her clothes!" Paine nodded. "You don't care…"

"I care; it's just that you can't make assumptions off of a few explainable details."

"What assumptions, Pai? Her boobs were like right out there." Rikku waved her hands in front of her own chest for emphasis.

"You lookin' at her boobs?" Paine teased.

Rikku sighed heavily and Paine laughed. "No, for your information, I was not."

"I don't think anything happened."

"They were both drunk, Uncle B, just has a better way of hiding it… oh my gosh this is so crazy! What if Pops finds out?"

"Finds out what, Rikku? That they had a drink?"

"If that's what you wanna call it." Rikku's cell phone in her left hand dinged meaning she had yet another text from Yuna. She pulled her phone out. The two had literally just separated and were now texting like crazy. "Oooh Yunie says that he's taking care of her!"

"I would for you, if you were drunk."

"Not the best example and you know it."

Paine opened her mouth to say something when Rikku's phone signaled again. She sighed as she watched the shorter woman text and walk at the same time. Paine was looking for an opening, anything that would free her of this anxiety about asking Rikku out. "So Rik—"

"Hold on, Pai." Rikku waved her off.

"I just wanted to—"

"Waaaaiit."

"Maybe, if you wanted, I don't know."

"Let me just send this—"

"Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?" Paine blurted out a little louder than necessary.

Rikku actually stopped walking and looked up from her phone. "What?"

Oh shit, she pushed it, she had popped the perfect little bubble they were in and now Rikku was going to say no. Paine ran a hand through her hair and turned to face Rikku from where she stood a few feet away.

Rikku's phone signaled again.

"Uh…"

"Did you just ask me out?"

"Nnnooyyyeah, yeah. Yes."

Her phone signaled.

"Like a real one?"

Paine nodded. "I was hoping so… If you want. If you don't want to it was just an idea y'know… Abstract and um…"

"Yes, yes, I would love to!" Rikku smiled widely and just like that Paine's fears had been eased away.

"Okay." Paine smiled back. "Cool…"

It fell quiet again as they just smiled at one another.

"Um… Maybe we should keep walking." Paine tossed a thumb over her shoulder to where Rikku's house was.

"Oh, yeah." Rikku nodded like it was the second best idea in the world. The first being their _real_ date of course.

"Okay."

Rikku's phone signaled again but she just stuffed it back into her pockets with her hands, and walked quietly beside Paine with a modest smile on her face. "So… Where are you taking me?"

Paine shrugged coolly. "It's a surprise."

"It's about time."

Paine laughed lightly. "I know, I'm sorry."

"No no. I was just- I'm glad you still want to after…"

"Of course I still want to." Paine reassured. She knew from the beginning how Rikku felt about herself. She wished she didn't feel like she had something to hide, something to be ashamed of. They reached Rikku's house and climbed the stairs of the stoop to get to the door. Rikku found her keys and opened it.

"C'mon." Rikku called over her shoulder when she realized Paine had stopped. Usually Paine would stay over on nights when they cooked at Yuna's.

"Uh, no, Rikku I think I should just go home, I work with Gip really early and..."

"Oh." She nodded. "Okay, um." She stepped back outside to where Paine was and hugged her. "Goodnight then."

"Is tomorrow at five thirty okay?" Paine asked as she let Rikku go. The hugging each other whenever they left was a new thing.

"Yeah!"

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

They both stood there for a second before Paine turned on her heel and headed down the steps. Rikku closed the door and leaned on it dreamily.

##

"What the fuck. Would you stop!" Gippal glared looking over at his best friend.

"Can you drive any slower?" Paine asked as she made a conscious effort to stop tapping her foot. She made about 95 dollars today working with Gippal, doing prep for a wedding. This was perfect just in case they wanted to do something else or she didn't know, if Rikku ordered something expensive. Right now all Paine wanted to do though, was get home so she had enough time to shower and get ready. Something told her that on these date things it was usually frowned upon to be late or smelly.

##

"I need something that says "I tried because you know I did, but not really because I'm not at all nervous that we are doing thi—no!" The woman at the counter jumped. "Not nervous, excited. It has to say I'm excited, and that I'm ready to take that next step even though I've never done that with a woman before—Not like that, like more, she means more than just a hook up and ooh make sure it says that it's summer and I'm taking advantage of that.. Oh and I brought a focus piece, y'know for reference."

##

"—But don't be creepy…"

Paine nodded and turned to leave the room. She whirled back around. "What about flowers?"

"Optional, but if you know her favorite kind…"

"Favorite kind?" That was stupid, who had a favorite kind of flower? That's like saying you had a favorite kind of soil, or a favorite volcano or something.

Elma tilted her head. "Every girl has their favorite kind."

"I'll just text and ask her—"

"No!"

"What, why not?"

Elma put her hand to her face.

##

Rikku stepped out of her shower with her towel wrapped around her body and a towel wrapped on top of her head. She played with her hands nervously as she looked at the outfit laid out on her bed.

She was nervous.

She hadn't been nervous all day, but boy was she feeling it now. Rikku made a little panicked noise as she caught sight of the time. What if this was a mistake? What if maybe they weren't ready? It had only been a week since Auron was put away. She stilled cried sometimes. Maybe she should have been more patient with Paine, maybe she pushed her.

"Hello?" Yuna answered her cell phone.

"Yunie!"

"Oh no…"

"I'm freaking out over here. What if.. What if.."

"Rikku! It's _just_ Paine."

"I know but what if…"

"No what if's, you like her, she likes you, you are going on a date. It's what people do when they like each other."

"B—"

"I'm hanging up now, and I'm not picking up until later tonight when you get back."

Rikku sighed heavily. "Fine, bye." Just as Rikku hung up her phone began to chime a playfully melody, it was Paine. She cleared her throat. "Hello?"

"Hey Rikku."

"Hi, Pai."

"So um.." Paine was pacing her room. "I just wanted to make sure we were still on for later."

"Yeah, you better not stand me up." Rikku joked to ease her nerves.

Paine laughed. "What if I get a better offer on my way over there?"

"What? Paine Kerrigan that's not even funny."

"I'll be there at five thirty okay?"

"Okay, wait Paine."

"Hm?"

"I'm uh, I'm a little nervous…"

Paine smiled softly. "Me too."

"Are you?"

"Yeah I mean, I've been nervous since the moment I met you so I'm kind f used to the feeling." Rikku chuckled. "We're just going out to have fun okay? You don't have to be nervous around me."

Rikku smiled feeling a lot better. "I know."

"I'll see you soon."

"Okay, bye."

Paine hung up the phone and smiled to herself. Was she in way over her head? Probably, but Rikku made everything, even jail time, seem like nothing. Tonight had to be perfect. Paine ran through the plans in her head over and over again as she styled her hair. Once that was done she changed into a clean pair of jeans and a magenta colored blouse. She then went about putting on a little eyeliner, mascara and the slightest touch of blush. Paine just wanted to spend time with her.

Real quality, worry free time.

##

Cid opened the door and at first didn't recognize Paine. She looked like herself just… More? "Paine." He smiled.

"Hi, Mr. Bayla."

"Please, call me Cid. I don't know if Rikku's expecting you she's been getting ready to go out somewhere."

Paine held the flowers she brought closely behind her back. Maybe she didn't want her father to know. "Oh, um, well she left something at my place. I just wanted to make sure she had it."

"Of course, come in." He let Paine inside and closed the door. "How have things been?"

"Well." Paine nodded.

Cid scratched his chin. "Right." He climbed the stairs and Paine could hear Rikku yelling in Al bhed, something about him knocking before he opened a door. Paine only chuckled. "She'll be right down." Cid came back downstairs looking a little embarrassed. "Do you know where she's going? She's been wound up all day. Pops does my hair look okay? Pops can you reach this? Pops, Pops, Pops." Cid mimicked Rikku's voice and it actually made Paine laugh.

"That's pretty good." She clutched the backpack on her shoulder and made sure it was blocking her gift.

Cid shook his head. "Her mother was the same way. I tell you it wasn't easy. So how are things, c'mon, I feel like you are family now. You have to come by more often."

"I've just been a little busy with um, my roommate Gippal got me a car to work on for my birthday, so we've been kind of doing that."

Cid nodded thoughtfully. "I admire that. They say us Al bhed are supposed to be good with our hands, me? Well, I think it skipped a generation." Paine only nodded. "Gippal…"

Paine hesitated. "Gippal Trent."

"Gippal Trent? _He's_ your roommate? Him?" Cid seemed a little bothered by the news.

Paine wasn't about to tell him that they had been best friends as far back as she could remember. "We have other um, apartment mates I guess…"

"Paine." Rikku called as she came down the stairs.

Paine looked up and almost dropped the flowers behind her back. Rikku was dressed in black skinny jeans and a large flowing top that hung off her shoulders. She was wearing black heels and a thick red bangle on her right arm, a thin silver chain hung from her neck and rested comfortably in between her breasts. Her hair wasn't completely down but held in its usual manner without the headband and this time with red accented beads. Rikku had laughed at the look on Paine's face.

Score one for team Rikku!

"Hi." She said once she reached the bottom of the steps. Paine was trying to find words. It was probably almost as cute as sorry Paine. Rikku let her figure out how to speak while she looked over at her father in question.

"Paine came by to drop something off for you." He explained.

"Yes." Paine nodded motioning to the bag on her shoulder.

Rikku furrowed her brows and then nodded. "Oh! That thing for my car. Okay yeah c'mon Paine." Rikku ushered her out of the door. "I'll be back later, Pops." She called before closing the door behind her.

Cid shook his head at his daughter and Paine's antics. He had to hand it to Paine, the flowers were a nice touch. He still wasn't too sure about their relationship or how he felt about it. He didn't know how to approach the topic with his daughter or even if he should. He would just let her come to him when she felt comfortable. He had messed up before and wasn't about to do that with this. Maybe he just needed time.

Cid patted his pocket for his cell phone. "Gippal Trent…"

**AN: Little filler chapter. The date is up next and originally it was supposed to be in this chapter, but it was just way way too long. I didn't want to shorten it either because you all deserve the sweetness that is about to go down :D Review! **

**KathleenDee**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

"You look beautiful, Pai."

"Thanks."

"So what's really in the bag?" Rikku asked motioning to the backpack.

"Oh, nothing important, but these," Paine pulled out the flowers hoping they didn't get crushed while she was hiding them. "…Are for you."

Rikku's face lit up. "You got me flowers?" She gushed.

Paine shrugged. "Yeah the lady said that they were Al bhed… Like you. So, I thought you might like 'em."

"Aw Paine, you really went all out here, huh?" Rikku took the delicate flowers from her. They were a vibrant pink and white.

"They're called Showy Mil—"

"Milkweeds, I know. My mom had some planted outside our house when I was little. Was the only thing that would grow." Rikku cooed over them a little. "Paaaaaiiinne."

Paine rolled her eyes but chuckled. She really did look surprised and that was good. "You look amazing by the way."

Rikku reached a hand forward and gave her hand a squeeze. "We could end the date here and it would have already been the best I've been on. No one has ever gotten me flowers before."

"Really?" Paine was having trouble believing that. "Isn't that what you do?" Rikku only shrugged. "Oh, well I hope you don't want to end it here because I actually planned more."

Rikku smiled. "Let me put these in my room." Paine nodded as Rikku ran back inside. Alright so she was starting off good. Paine nodded to herself. This wasn't so hard.

"Um, so I thought we could walk to this place. Y'know it's nice outside and it's not far." Paine explained as they walked down the steps and to the sidewalk.

"Okay. So where are we going?"

"Well don't be mad, but I got these tickets for this showing." Paine knew sometimes the topic of art upset Rikku a little. Mainly because it was her thing, but had been raised to believe it wasn't a real job like being a lawyer was. Paine didn't want to push, she just wanted her to see it and take it all in.

"A showing?"

"It's really cool stuff, I looked it up, and I thought you might like it, I dunno, if it blows we can leave early."

"Is it art?"

"Yeah, I think her name is Randi Lo, or some kind of hipster name like that."

Rikku smiled, well, she hadn't really stopped. "You're racking up points, Paine."

"Am I?" Paine grinned.

"Mhm."

"What do these points get me?" Paine asked cheekily.

"Paine." Rikku laughed and slapped her arm lightly. "Look at this, one date and she's got chats." Paine only laughed. They walked a couple blocks just idly chatting about their days until they reached a tall brownstone building with a gray awning reading MinkStudio8 on it. There was a small line that the two got onto. Once inside they perused the pieces of artwork together pointing out what they liked or didn't get.

The showing room of _Mink_, as everyone there called it was dim. The ground a pale gray, probably the original dusty surface the building was made with. The walls were blank and there were several lights running along the base and ceiling of the walls to extenuate the artwork there.

"It's the type of brush, see." Rikku pointed a particularly noticeable brush stroke.

Paine looked at her. She could tell Rikku was in her element and it really made her seem even more beautiful to Paine. "I can finger-paint." she joked making Rikku break her concentrated face and smile to herself.

"I know, Pops asked me about the floor the other day, I didn't know what to tell him."

"The truth; Paine and I got so high and thought that it would be a good idea to paint on the floor."

"Yeah, I want you to be there so you can actually see the vein in his head burst." Rikku shook her head.

"I've seen it close to bursting a few times. He does a really good impression of you though."

"He didn't." Rikku looked slightly mortified. "Oh Shiva."

The two moved along to another piece. "He did, it was spot on too."

"That's what's bad about it."

Paine motioned to the large canvas in front of them. "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"Are you seeing two very large boob like circles?" Rikku tilted her head to try and figure the piece out.

"Uhuh." Paine crossed her arms. She was able to leave her backpack at the door which allowed her to better express her interest in the painting before them "…That would look good in my room, no?" Paine took a couple of steps forward making Rikku laugh. "No I'm serious, near my desk… How much is this?"

"You are such a goof." Rikku laughed as Paine looked for the price. "C'mon before someone see's you." Rikku grabbed her arm and pulled her.

"Whoa wait, I'm not done looking at these." Paine protested with a laugh in her throat. Rikku only shook her head and pulled her away.

They finished at the show around seven and started walking down the street toward Central Park. "So did you like that?" Paine asked as they hit a small lull in their conversation about a certain piece that they both liked.

"Yeah, it was actually really interesting. I grabbed a pamphlet and everything, y'know for the studio." Rikku shrugged. "Don't know what I would do with it but, I felt inspired."

"You know how I'm always telling you are good, I'm not exactly qualified, before I met you I thought there was only one kind of pencil." Rikku laughed. "Maybe someone there could look at your stuff."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Why not?"

"Because, Paine, I've always just done it for fun."

"That Lo lady gets to have fun every day, _and_ get paid."

"I don't know…"

"What about electives for next semester?" Paine only wanted Rikku to be happy, and she knew law wasn't what made her heart sing like drawing or painting did.

Rikku got excited. "I was thinking about taking math."

Paine made a face. "As an elective?"

"It's the architecture course, it teaches you about area and how to draw to scale and stuff."

"Sounds interesting, why don't you take an art class too, like… Intro to painting or something?"

"Maybe… what are you taking?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Maybe you should take it with me." Paine made another face. "Aw c'mon it's an intro course no one there is any good."

"Yeah but you will be, that would totally kill my confidence."

"Well what if we get opposite schedules?"

Paine smiled. "I'll come over when I'm making mine and I'll make sure to leave Monday's free."

"We should so take a class together." Rikku chuckled as she grabbed onto Paine's arm as they rounded a corner and began to slow down.

"Yeah no thanks, tried that, and I failed."

Rikku laughed. "Not fair."

"Right in here." Paine motioned to the restaurant on the corner. "So Gippal kinda helped me out on this front. He knows the head chef and all." Paine explained as they stepped into _Elle's_, a casual bistro styled restaurant near Central Park. They got to their booth and Paine settled her backpack down beside her and picked up the menu in front of her. "I've never been here before." She glanced around quickly. Everyone was wearing jeans but this place looked expensive as hell.

Rikku looked around. It was a busy night to the restaurant, yet it didn't seem crowded. Since it was getting dark the curtains near their tables were drawn in a pretty bow and a candle sat on the windowsill. "This is really nice Paine. I've never eaten here either."

"Well feel free to order whatever you want."

Rikku only smiled and looked through the menu. She stole a glance at Paine over her menu and her smile got a little wider. Paine's warm eyes were focused on the menu of front of her, her right hand playing lightly with a lighter strand of hair. "What are you going to get?"

Paine bit the inside of her mouth in thought. "I was thinkin' we could start with these Nuevo crouton thingys."

"Where are those?"

"Under appetizers. Then I think I want to get chicken braised in wine…" It wasn't very "bistro" but there was a dinner special menu that she had her eye on.

"Hmm, see that looks really good."

"Well I can give you a little of mine." The two debated over what to get for a few more minutes before it was decided. The waiter took their orders and put out a small bread basket for them to nibble on.

"So…" Rikku smiled as she looked over the table at Paine, the little candle near the window brought out her eyes.

"Are you having fun?" Paine asked breaking some of the bread and handing Rikku a half.

"Yeah, I really am. I was a little surprised when you asked me out, not that I didn't see it coming it was just that…"

"I was taking a while." Paine finished. "I honestly don't know why, you said something and it just clicked."

Rikku nibbled on the bread. "What did I say?"

"Something about Leblanc and your dad." Paine shrugged.

"I say a lot of things about those two."

"How are you guys doing? It seems like its getting better."

Rikku shrugged. "Yeah, remember I told you about how he wanted to get me and Kirill together?" Paine nodded. "Well Brother said that he would meet, but only because he wanted to see me."

"When is he going to be in Luca?"

"The psyches go against the Goers sometime next month; I don't know the actual date."

"He seems like he wants to try, he also seem a little oblivious." Paine chuckled and then got serious. "You think he would mind me taking you out?"

"I know Uncle B is okay with it. Pops, he's a little weird sometimes. Remember? Awesome until you really need him."

"I like your Uncle."

"He's in Kilika right now."

Paine nodded. "So where did he think you were going tonight?"

Rikku shrugged. "Honestly I'm not too concerned."

"No?"

Rikku shook her head no as she reached for a lemon to squeeze into her tea. "You shouldn't be either."

"Hm." Paine nodded. "Have you guys sat down and talked?"

"Not really since when he took me out to lunch." Rikku sighed and Paine decided to change the topic.

"I'm glad we're here like this…"

Sure enough a little smile found its way onto Rikku's glossed lips. "I'm glad I spilled my coffee on you."

Soon their food came and Rikku tried feeding Paine.

"Nooo."

"C'mon it's getting cold." Rikku held out her fork with her hand underneath it to catch any dripping.

"Rikku." Paine groaned. "Do you have to?"

"This is what you signed up for." Rikku laughed inching the fork closer to Paine's face.

"People actually feed each other?" Paine asked looking around, she sighed and leaned forward and allowed Rikku to put the fork in her mouth. "Mm." Paine nodded. The Trout almandine that Rikku got was really good.

"Yes, it's cute and y'know…" Rikku shrugged and blushed lightly when she took a forkful of her food with the same fork.

They had basically just kissed!

"If you say so."

"So you don't like PDA?" Rikku asked after the blush faded. She was going to need to know these things if she was truly going to make Paine her girl.

Paine shrugged. "Depends I guess."

##

"Ooh I'm so full." Rikku leaned back in the booth and patted her stomach lightly.

Paine nodded imitating Rikku's relaxed stance. "This place was really good."

"Yes."

"Do you want dessert or something?" Paine asked leaning forward suddenly. They hadn't bought wine so there was room in her budget.

"I couldn't eat another bite if I tried, Pai."

Paine graciously paid the bill and helped Rikku with her jacket before grabbing her backpack and walking outside. "Let's walk it off." Paine motioned to the park across the way.

"You are the only person I know who goes in here at night." Rikku shook he head as they entered the dark park.

"Scared?"

"Psh, no." Rikku still grabbed a hold of Paine's arm though. They walked in silence for a little while until Paine stopped abruptly. "What? What happened did you hear something?" Rikku asked gripping her arm tighter and looking around.

"So you trust me right?" Paine asked, this only made Rikku more nervous. "Do you?"

"Yes, but… Not if you are going to do something to scare me."

Paine chuckled. "I hope not." She took the backpack off and dug into the first pocket and pulled out a silk deep purple scarf. "Put this over your eyes…" Paine chuckled at the look on Rikku's face. "I've got you, nothing is going to happen."

"Paine." Rikku warned as the other woman tied the scarf over her eyes.

"I know I know, just trust me."

"Okay…"

"Feel my hand?" Paine asked as she reached for Rikku's smaller tanned one.

"Yeah."

"Just focus on that, alright?" She a got a scared little noise out of Rikku that sounded like okay and Paine carefully took a couple steps forward so Rikku could get used to it.

Rikku looked around a few minutes later. The dim light of the kerosene lamps along the park walkway was no longer visible. "I can't see at all."

"Good, we're almost there."

"There where?"

"Shh." Paine led the way toward the small pond and stopped. She looked over at Rikku for any indication that she knew where they were, when she got none she let go of Rikku's hand.

"Hey?"

"I'm right beside you, Princess."

"Why'd you let go?"

"Here, hold onto this." Paine pulled a paper bag out of her backpack and placed it in Rikku's hands.

"What is it?' Rikku asked feeling it was full and warm.

"I'll tell you in a minute." Paine said as she inched closer to the edge of the pond. It took her a little while longer than she expected to set it up, but once it was finished she smiled at her work. She waited for a breeze to come; when none did she blessed the balding weather man who had called it right for once.

Paine went back toward Rikku. "I'm right here." She said gently when Rikku reached out to the sound of her footsteps. "Alright I'm gonna help you out a little here, just hold onto me."

"Okay." Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and giggled as Paine picked her up and placed her somewhere cool and sturdy.

"Don't move alright?"

"Mhm."

Paine placed her backpack down beside the large rock Rikku was sitting on. She climbed on and sat to Rikku's left like she did that sunny day. "Alright, you can take it off."

Rikku began playing with the silky material and when she finally got it off her breath caught in her throat. There she sat, on a rock near the pond where she and Paine had their almost kiss. Except now it was dark, and the pond was still, and a little family of rubber ducklings with lit candles in their backs swam in a little line with the gentle current of the water. "Oh my goodness."

"Can I have some of those?" Paine said out of nowhere.

Rikku glanced from the pond to Paine and then to her lap where the paper bag she was holding before had sat. "Paine." Rikku cooed as she picked up the vender bag of roasted almonds. She looked back to the pond where the warm glow of the candles caused the ducklings to glow bright yellow in the middle of the night. Rikku looked at Paine. "You did all of this?"

Paine nodded. "I thought that maybe since I so royally screwed up here before, maybe I could make up for it. Y'know so this place can be special for you again."

Rikku smiled softly and just stared at her adoringly. Paine reached a hand forward and wiped a happy tear from Rikku's eyes. "You are so amazing." Rikku whispered and their eyes locked on one another as Paine's hand cupped Rikku's cheek gently.

"I have the best inspiration." Paine whispered back. She let the pad of her thumb run from her cheek to across Rikku's bottom lip once before leaning in closer to her. Rikku tilted her head to better accommodate. Their faces were so close that they could both feel the other holding their breath. Paine hesitated briefly before leaning the rest of the way in and pressing a very gentle kiss onto Rikku's waiting lips.

Rikku's eyes closed and she swore if she wasn't in trouble before, she was now. She answered Paine by apply the smallest amount of pressure back. She could feel Paine's hand brushing across her chin guiding her closer.

Paine pulled away a second later and stared at Rikku through hooded eyes. It completely fucking cheesy of her to even think this but…

Rikku literally took her breath away.

They stared at each other for a second more before both leaning back in and kissing. The kiss was still gentle, curious even. Rikku loved how soft Paine's lips were, how she tasted. She made a little content noise and Paine smiled into the kiss. "You have really nice lips." Paine mumbled on them before she could stop herself.

Rikku grinned with soft eyes. "I know."

Paine laughed lightly before leaning back on her hands and sighing almost dreamily.

Rikku pouted but then the little ducklings on the water caught her attention again and she leaned into Paine happily. Paine put her arm around Rikku. Rikku nuzzled her nose into Paine's shoulder in response before looking back on the water.

Paine couldn't think straight as they sat there. She got this tingling feeling when their lips first met that vanished all thought and memory of anything, all she felt was Rikku.

Rikku reached for Paine's hand as they walked back to her house. Paine seemed a little startled by the action. They had never actually held hands like this for a long period of time. Paine smiled at how perfectly they fit.

Rikku was on cloud nine, she couldn't wipe the smile off her face if she tried really really hard. Paine holding onto her hand and not letting go meant more to her than Paine would know.

"Oh." Paine went into her bag and pulled out a little duckling with a candle sitting snuggly in the little hollowed out area on it its back. "I saved you one." She handed Rikku the duck when they reached Rikku's front door.

"Thanks." Rikku smiled fingering the rubber material shyly. "Tonight was amazing. I had so much fun."

"Yeah..." Paine nodded hiking the backpack on her shoulder. They stood there quietly for a second before Rikku stepped closer to Paine and tip toed a little to kiss her.

She had meant for it to be a goodbye kiss, something small and chaste.

This kiss was different.

She couldn't pull herself away.

Paine dropped her bag slowly and wrapped her arm around Rikku's waist pulling her closer while her other hand cupped her smooth jaw. Rikku exhaled heavily through her nose at this and wrapped her arms around Paine's neck; Paine made a small noise in response. This kiss was slow, and expressive, it was very clear how the other felt. Their suppressed feelings just seemed to pour out without any sign of stopping and it was almost too intense. A small and insistent warmth started at the base of Rikku's belly when Paine tightened her grip around her waist to release some of the energy the kiss gave her. Paine could feel Rikku's heart beating fast in her chest and she wondered if Rikku could feel how hard hers was thumping right now.

Rikku let her palm open at Paine's neck and then move up to her cheek. They broke apart slowly yet remained in their close proximity. Their eyes were glued to each others. Rikku smiled softly and stroked Paine's cheek. "It's okay." She whispered.

Paine had this look of surprise, admiration and maybe even a little panic in her eyes. Rikku followed Paine's cheek bone with her fingertips. Yevon, she was beautiful. "It's okay." She repeated.

It was okay because she felt it too…

The almost unbearable lightness of being with her.

Paine focused back down at Rikku easing her worries, and melting her already mushy heart by smiling gently. "Yeah." Paine agreed softly. She let her hand move some of Rikku's honey blonde hair out of her face. "It's okay."

##

Yuna raised an eyebrow at her cousin the next morning. She had greeted her three times now.

Rikku was grinning stupidly into her bowl of cereal.

Yuna turned to Cid who was doing right by minding his own business, while reading the paper and eating his own bowl of cereal. "Has she been like this all morning?"

Cid gave Yuna a fatherly shrug. The kind that said. "What do I know about these things?"

"Riiiiiiikkkkkkuu." Yuna waved her hand in front of her cousin wildly.

She jumped. "Huh? Yunie, hey. When did you get here?"

Yuna looked over at Cid who only shrugged again. "I've been here for the past ten minutes."

Rikku rubbed her chin like Cid always did. "Really?"

"Yes, are you okay?"

"I'm great." Rikku nodded happily. "Ooh I didn't call you last night?"

Yuna crossed her arms. "No, you didn't. Its okay, I just wanted to know how your da—"

Rikku jumped up. "Where's kimmi?"

Yuna paused and then nodded once. "Well he's in the den, come with me to walk him?"

"Okay." Rikku grabbed her cereal bowl and went to wash it out in the kitchen sink.

"Has your father returned from Kilika yet, Yuna?" Cid asked as Rikku cleaned her bowl. She had to actually do dishes now that the cleaning lady was put off a few weeks ago. Cid didn't like anyone having keys to the house that didn't need to have them.

"He returns later tonight. I am going to pick him up around six."

"Can you tell him to call me when he gets a chance?"

"Sure."

"I'm ready." Rikku motioned to the front door. "Let's go." Yuna grabbed her leash from on the counter.

##

Paine pulled her hoody off of her revealing her black under-armor workout top. She tossed it next to Wakka's gym bag.

"So Lu, was tellin' me that you are gonna ask Rikku out."

"Lulu talks too much, but yeah, I did. We went out yesterday." Paine began to stretch. This morning they actually decided to go the school gym.

Wakka took a sip from the full water bottle he was holding. "Ahhh." He grinned. "So how'd it go? Yuh kiss her goodnight ya?" Wakka began to laugh at Paine's blush. "Guess that's a yup."

Paine shrugged. "It was alright."

"Alright? You kidding me you been wanting to go out with her for how long? I want details."

Paine chuckled as she sat down on the waxed wooden floor and retied her shoe. "We had a really good time." She shrugged again trying not to smile like she had the night before. Her cheeks hurt. "What do you want me to say? You already guessed that we kissed—"

"Yuh see stars?" Wakka teased pointing up to the ceiling.

Paine laughed and shook her head no. "Yeah, somethin' like that."

Wakka stood and pulled out his lime green ipod and got his conversion cords together. "Lu, thinks it's cute." Paine made a gagging noise and Wakka laughed.

"What's up with you two anyway?" Paine stood and touched her toes.

##

"So?" Yuna asked with a sisterly look on her face.

"So." Rikku dragged the word out still smiling. They were walking down a random street in the Heights; Kimahri was trotting happily ahead of them like some kind of show dog.

"Judging by the smile on your face I'm guessing it went well?"

Rikku nodded twice. "It was so much fun, Yunie. We went to an art showing, and then to dinner at Elle's."

"Ooh, that place is great."

"Then she took me to Central Park."

"At night?"

"Yeah, remember how I told you about our almost kiss?"

"On Almost Rock?" Yuna laughed remembering the conversation and Rikku's feelings about the "stupid rock" very well.

"Yeah, but Yunie, She's such a sweetheart and pretends not to be, it kills me." Rikku gushed, causing Yuna to laugh. "We're walking right? All quiet and I'm a little freaked out so then she just stops and tries to blindfold me."

"Tries?"

"Well I let her, because she was all 'you trust me right?' How can I not? She saved my life!"

"Uhuh, go on."

"So I'm blindfolded and she moves me to where the pond is and then leaves me! Then she comes back, and at the point I don't know what's going on. She helps me sit down somewhere and then says I can remove the blindfold." The two stopped as Kimahri began sniffing a fire hydrant.

"C'mon Ahri…" Yuna shook her head. "You know that's Daisy the poodles spot." Kimahri looked back at Yuna with his yellow eyes and yapped before turning and continuing walking. "So what happened next?"

Rikku shaded her light eyes from the sun as she walked in an area with only a few trees. "So then I take them off and there on the pond, oh, Yunie, it was so romantic; a family of little ducklings with candles on them."

"Aw."

"I know. So then I look over to her and she gives me those honey roasted almonds… Y'know, the ones I swore off."

Yuna laughed at the memory.

_Flashback_

"_Nuts? Nuts! Who the hell even says that!"_

"_Rikku you love almonds." Yuna tried to rationalize as she watched Rikku fling open another cabinet in her kitchen. "Maybe she was just trying to break the tensi—"_

"_Not anymore!"_

"So then… She kissed me." Rikku clasped her hands together and then let them go. "It was like… The best feeling." She looked over to her cousin and smiled. "She stole my heart right then and she doesn't even know it."

##

They had yet to begin their workout.

"I mean I'm happy, ya? But I'm so fuckin' nervous."

Paine nodded. "She hasn't told her parents yet?"

Wakka shook his head no. "They don't even know about us… Me."

Paine looked down at her hands. That was fucking rough. From her understanding, Lulu and Wakka had been this thing for years now. "What you just never met 'em or…"

"It started out like dat ya? Den I realized that she was ashamed of me, I don't have parents. I live where I do, and I'm on a blitz scholarship. Just a dumb jock."

"Lulu doesn't think that." Paine comforted as she remembered their conversation over Rikku's coffee way back when.

"I know dat now. She loves me, she's trying. It's just… How are dey gonna see our kid? We aint marr—" Wakka froze as if getting an idea.

Paine began to shake her head slowly. "Uh, before you say anything, let me say something. That's not a good idea."

"Why not ya?"

Paine shrugged. "You guys have your whole life to get married, you should try working out the reality that in like eight months you'll be a father."

Wakka ran his hands through his hair. "Fuuuuck." He groaned. "We're gonna talk more today, but when you say it like dat we don't really have any time at all huh?" Paine shrugged and then sighed. Wakka chuckled to himself.

"What?"

"Since when did you become the relationship expert eh?"

Paine laughed. "Expert? I just went on my first real date yesterday."

Wakka shook his head. "I don't know why I'm listening to you; you don't know what you're talking about."

"You should really go to Gippal, he's been on plenty of dates." Paine joked before standing. "It's quantity not quality."

"I'll make sure to let Rikku know just how you feel." Wakka stood. "C'mon let's get the show on the road ya? I got fatherly things to think about."

##

"That's cute." Rikku giggled at what Yuna told her Tidus did for their first month.

"Isn't it? I felt really bad because I completely forgot."

They were still outside. Kimahri didn't seem to mind at all. He was such a big dog, sometimes Yuna felt really bad leaving him inside. They had probably walked around their neighborhood several times by now just catching up.

"I wanna ask Paine to be my girlfriend." Rikku said nervously as she watched the trees sway with the breeze above them.

"Wow, moving fast are we?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Well Yunie, we've never just been friends, like we went from hating each other to this weird place of trying to figure out why we wanted to see each other, to hanging out, then Auron happened, and then we went to cuddling… we effin' cuddle!"

"Paine doesn't seem like the cuddly type."

Rikku laughed. "I don't think she is, but she does with me."

"Y'know, I must say I'm surprised at your openness, wasn't it just the other day that you were freaking out because you liked _her_. What changed?"

"Well it helps that she's stunning."

"She is beautiful." Yuna nodded, she was hoping to get Paine on her side for the next fashion show. She had a natural walk, one that even some professional models struggled with.

Rikku shrugged. "I mean… She makes me happy, she smiles and it makes me smile. She moves and it makes me move. It's so strange. Like, we have this connection... She's my buddy and I'm hers, but I really wanna kiss her again." Rikku and Yuna shared a look. "I don't know Yunie. I guess I just like her as Paine." She paused in thought. "Who she is is enough for me that comes before gender right?"

Yuna thought about it. "I suppose I can see that, do you find you think about other woman now…?"

Rikku blushed. "I guess I noticed more often now if someone is pretty, but then if I see a cute guy I notice too. They don't matter though. I just like Paine."

"Do you find that confusing?"

"Surprisingly no. Why am I thinking about all these other people?"

"So what about Uncle Cid? Sorry if the topic is bothering you, I just, I guess I never thought about it myself."

Rikku chuckled. "Whoa Yunie."

"You know what I mean."

"I'm telling Tidus about this."

"Would break his heart." Yuna joked along.

Rikku smiled, she was so happy that she was able to be herself around Yuna. She knew a lot of people wouldn't like the fact that she liked a girl, or that that girl was Paine. She wasn't blind to it; she just wished everyone were more like her cousin. "I don't know what he'd think. I think I could get away with murder right now, he kinda owes me."

"I think he likes Paine."

"I think Uncle B hates Tidus." Rikku watched with a laugh as Yuna rolled her multi colored eyes.

"He's just being an ass, because I'm his only daughter, and only child, and he knows I really like Tidus so he needs to get it out of his system. That's why Tidus got a haircut you know, to impress him."

"Are you serious? He looks so funny with shorter hair."

"It's ridiculous. I think they have both agreed to torment one another. It's sick." The two continued their walk laughing and talking about their friends until Kimahri finally found a spot to go to the bathroom.

##

"You guys wanna come with me? Hey Dr. P how'd it go?" Gippal asked when Wakka and Paine returned from their work out later that day.

Gippal was making brunch and everyone was actually home at once for a change. Nooj sat nude with a towel limply over his lap as he read the paper and drank stale coffee. Elma was flipping through a medical equipment magazine while sitting and waiting for Gippal to make her eggs.

"Where are you goin' ya?"

"He's going to get a few things for a block party, the one on seventh?" She looked over at Gippal.

"Yeah, seventh. Ay P." He motioned his hand at Paine as if asking her to elaborate on her silence.

Clad in her hoody and some shorts. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bagel from a brown paper bag sitting on the counter. "That's tonight?" She asked while ripping it in two and handing Wakka the larger half. She was starving and they left before they could eat anything. If she would have known they would have spent at least an hour talking about life then she would have just brought it with her.

"Yeah that's tonight ya?" Wakka nodded in thanks. "I'm savin' room for Datto's mom's cobbler."

"Then give that back." Paine reached for the bagel but Wakka pulled it closer to himself.

"Eh, it ain't till like five right? Back off ya?"

"She's avoiding it." Elma glanced at Gippal.

"I know." The blonde man nodded and then cleared his throat. "Yo, Paine!"

"What?" Paine said as she went into the fridge.

"How did your date go with Princess?" Gippal yelled humorlessly. Nooj and Elma shared a chuckle.

Paine began pouring herself some grapefruit juice from an unmarked jug. "One, stop fucking yelling, two, don't call her that, and three, mind your own damn business."

"She totally got some." Gippal waved the plastic spatula he was cooking with in the air.

"Tell me Paine, was it everything you expected and more?" Nooj teased.

"Where the fuck are your pants? You don't get to talk to me if you aren't wearing pants."

"I thought you weren't interested in this." He motioned to his crotch area with an open palm. Paine made a face and he and Wakka laughed.

"I like balls, but not yours—" Elma began.

Wakka put a hand to his mouth and pretended to be coughing. "Gippal's." He managed and Paine had to admit it was freaking hilarious.

Gippal ignored it. "Wha? All of a sudden you don't kiss and tell?" He asked after placing a plate of egg whites and bacon in front of Elma.

"When have I ever kissed and told?"

"She told me." Wakka laughed as he made his way into the crowded kitchen area to get something to drink.

"Nice Walker." Paine shook her head.

"Just tell me something, woman to woman." Elma spoke.

"You mean woman _on_ woman right?" Gippal piped up.

"I'd have to be really drunk." Elma went to pick up her fork and Paine raised an eyebrow. "No offense Paine, you're gorgeous."

"Thanks?"

"Was that even worth calling a save?" Nooj asked.

Paine shrugged. "We went out, we had fun." Couldn't everyone just leave it at that?

"Did she like the flowers?" Elma asked after chewing her food and swallowing.

"She did actually. Her mom apparently had a garden of them back Home."

Elma nodded. "Did you kiss her?"

Gippal began making Paine and Wakka something to eat. "Did she kiss you is the question. Dr. P has had this chick in her bed for how long and hasn't done anything? Yeah, Cid's girl wears the pants."

"_I_ kissed her thank you very much." Paine shook her head and blushed as the entire apartment cheered.

##

Rikku couldn't sit at home today. She was just in too good a mood. After hanging out with Yuna for a few more hours she headed out of the Heights down a popular street to go window shopping. It was such a pretty day outside and Rikku had a spring in her step and a nickel in her pocket.

"Thank you." Rikku smiled at the ice cream man who handed her a small cone with one scoop of creamy goodness. She was leaving the store when her cell phone went off and she had to juggle her ice cream, her wallet, her purse, and for some reason her keys to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

Rikku smiled. "Hey Paine."

"Thought I would call, I mean I didn't even get a "last night was great text" or anything."

"That's cause it was and we both know it. Why waste nonrenewable resources?"

"You have unlimited text,"

"There is always a catch."

Paine shook her head at Rikku's silliness. "What are you up to?"

"I just got ice cream. What are you doing?"

Paine shrugged. "Nothing until later."

"What's later?"

"Just some block party around the corner from my street."

"What's that? Is it like a festival?"

"What's a block party?" Paine raised a brow. "Seriously?"

"You've seen where I live, you think there is any kind of block participation going on? No."

"That's true. It's a party… On a block." She chuckled. "I can't believe you've never been to one."

"We had similar things Home."

"What are you doing later?"

Rikku shrugged. She had gone back into the little ice cream shop and was sitting and licking her cone in peace. "I dunno. I may just paint some."

"You mind if I come over? We can order Oriental or something." She had been sitting on her hands all day trying not to seem too eager.

"Ooh that sounds fun. How long is this block party thing?"

"To be honest I'm not going very long, maybe a half hour, do you wanna come check it out? There is gonna be lots of Al bhed food seeing as how the street is on is very Al bhed."

"I like regular food too, Paine."

Paine laughed. "I know I just, I don't know. So you wanna come then?"

"Yeah, why not, we could order takeout and then head over to my place after."

"Alright, then bye."

"Wait Paine."

"Hm?"

"I had fun last night."

Paine smiled. "Yeah, I did too."

"Um." Rikku bit her lip shyly. "Do you wanna maybe go out again? This time I'll plan it?"

Paine was a little surprised. "Yeah, that would be cool…"

"I just want to do something nice for you like you did for me."

"Yeah."

"Anyway I'll call you when I'm on my way."

##

"Paine!" She cried as she pulled up.

"Alright calm down, you made it right?" Paine chuckled as she ended the call on her cell phone with Rikku and leaned at the driver's side door of Rikku's car. She peered inside at the frazzled looking version of Rikku.

"Are you kidding me!"

"Well I told you that the original route was blocked off."

"Yeah but I didn't actually believe you." Rikku shifted the car to park. That's when she noticed Paine's appearance. She was wearing scruffy jeans and a white tank top that exposed her toned arms. Oil stains garnished her look. She even had one on her right cheek. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I was helping Gippal." Paine motioned to wear Gippal was still under the ashy blue two door.

Rikku looked from Paine to the car to Paine and to the car again. "You're going to shower right?"

"No, I'm just going like this." Paine shook her head.

Rikku shrugged as she gathered her things from the car. "I dunno Paine, you might of."

Paine opened the driver's door for her. "I lost track of time."

"Where have I heard that before?" Rikku joked as she locked the car and followed Paine to the steps. "Hi Gippal!" She hollered.

"Cid's girl, hey!" He called from under the car. "When we cooking together again?"

"Waiting' on you!"

"She's so patient ain't she Dr. P?" He yelled over to Paine with a smug smile well in place.

"Shut up." Paine shook her head as she opened the door for Rikku. "You look nice." She noticed as they entered the empty apartment. Rikku was wearing a dark beige one of those romp things again, with ruffles on it and magenta under shirt, sandals and her bangles.

"Thanks." Rikku smiled. They walked up to Paine's room and as Paine got her things together to shower Rikku couldn't stop staring at her, okay so maybe the little oil stain on her cheek was kind of cute.

"Alright I'll be out in like five."

"There's no way five minutes can take off all that oil, Paine."

"Ten then." She shook her head in mock annoyance and grabbed her towel before turning to leave the room.

"Wait, don't I get something for my troubles?" Rikku asked innocently from her spot sitting on Paine's comfy bed.

"What troubles?"

"Um, did you not see how close to tears I was? I was lost Paine! In a scary place, people were looking at me!"

Paine paused. "There's some banana walnut bread downstairs."

Rikku shook her head no. "I don't want that."

Paine shrugged, "well what do you want then?"

"Come here."

Paine gave Rikku a look before resting her towel down and slowly walking over towards Rikku. "Did I do something? Or did I not do som—" Paine was cut off by the gently pressure of Rikku's lips on her own. The blonde in question had stood and kissed her before she could even finish her sentence. Paine pressed her lips against hers just as gently in response. "Oh." She blushed once Rikku pulled away.

Rikku laughed to herself at the response. Paine looked pleasantly surprised. "That's all I wanted." She shrugged.

"Okay…"

"Go shower now so we can go to this thing." Rikku waved her off and Paine left the room a little dazed.

Rikku chuckled to herself and lightly tapped her fingers across her lips. She pulled her hand away shaking her head at herself before heading downstairs to see what the deal was with the banana walnut bread.

##

"You rang?" Braska said when Cid finally picked up his cell phone.

"I did."

"What's what?" Braska dropped his belongings at the base of his bed. It had only been his for about twenty years now.

"What do you know about Barthello Pilgrim?"

Braska thought for a second. "Nothing, why? Isn't he on this new one?"

"I believe Gippal Trent may know."

##

Paine smiled at Rikku's carefree laugh.

"That's it, your new name is Tubbs!" Rikku elbowed Wakka in the stomach.

Wakka laughed almost dropping the large plastic bowl of cobbler in his hands. "Ay watch it ya? You know how much snow I had to shovel for free, for diss?"

The three laughed. They had been here for longer than a half hour and Paine was glad that Rikku was having fun, she couldn't help but feel watched though. Maybe she was just being paranoid again.

The block party ran at least two lights and all along the street where parallel parked cars used to be were tables with food, games, people selling things, or music and a couple of lawn chairs. The elders would sit in these chairs watching the next generation chase each other around on the usually forbidden pavement. The smell of roasting corn and kebobs was heavy in the air, making it truly feel like summer in the city to Paine.

The last summer block party she had attended was with Bart and Gippal, and she was completely stoned. Gippal had work tonight, and Bart was who knows where.

"Ooh, Pai look!" Rikku grabbed Paine's arm and brought her to a table that was laid out with homemade Al bhed trinkets and jewelry. Rikku fingered a bracelet. "These are so pretty, just like the ones at Home."

A gray haired woman with pierced earrings and wearing an orange and green muumuu approached them with a drunken smile. She was holding a thin glass bottle that both Rikku and Paine knew to be an Al bhed styled ale.

"Rammu Snc, these are so pretty." Rikku said motioning to a few of the beaded items.

The woman smiled hearing the native tongue that so many young people just didn't care to learn now a days. "Oui mega dras tynmehk?"

Rikku nodded. "Very much, right, Pai?" She looked to her left at Paine who was looking at the authentic leather cord bracelets. Rikku smiled lightly and then looked back to the woman.

"They're nice, yeah." Paine agreed, the woman looked a little confused and Paine thought for a second. "Drao'na hela." The woman nodded and smiled at her.

Rikku's smile got wide as they walked away. "Aww." She nudged Paine playfully.

"Stop it." Paine rolled her eyes.

She really couldn't take her anywhere.

It wasn't perfect, but it was damn good, and damn cute. Rikku should have known she was being modest about knowing a little. "No, Paine that was cute. How come you never speak Al bhed to me?"

She shrugged. "That was like two words, Rikku." Paine waved over to Jade's mother who spotted the two and smiled.

"But you said it right." Paine shrugged again and Rikku rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "You liked those cord bracelets, huh?"

"Yeah, they are nice."

"The brown leather one would look good on you, with the white gold."

"You think?"

"Oh, yeah." Rikku nodded. "Hey look its Lulu and Wakka!" Rikku waved and was about to run to greet them but Paine grabbed her shoulder. "What?"

"Hold on." Paine eyed the couple, something wasn't right. Wakka was standing straight up revealing the real height difference between the two, his arms were crossed, and that dopey smile of his wasn't there. Lulu had her back to them but it didn't matter. Paine could see the upset look on Wakka's face.

"Oh." Rikku realized why Paine had stopped her. "What's going on there?"

Paine removed her hand from Rikku's shoulder and crossed them with a sigh. "Probably has to do with the kid."

Rikku furrowed a brow and looked at Paine. "What kid?"

Paine glanced at Rikku then back to the couple a little ways away. "Theirs, I mean fuck, Lulu has to stop y'know. It's driving Wakka crazy."

"Their kid!"

Paine brought her full attention to Rikku and nodded. "Yeah, Lulu's pregnant." But Rikku already knew that right? I mean she was Yuna's best friend, who was Lulu's best friend.

Rikku's eyes widened. "Bu—"

"Dr. P, nice to see you." Dona sauntered over with a red cup in her hand and a sly smile on her face. Her long raven hair was out and down to her waist. She was wearing very short jeans shorts, the kind where the pockets were longer than the actual pant, and she was wearing a tight yellow tank top creating room for her ample bosom.

Paine groaned. "What, Dona?"

"Christ, can't a girl say hello? Oh…" She had just noticed Rikku by Paine's side. "Hello, I didn't notice you. I'm Dona." Dona extended her free hand for Rikku to shake but Paine pushed it away shaking her head at Dona.

Was bitch contagious?

"Rikku." Rikku offered.

"Did you get lost?"

"Dona." Paine warned. "What do you want?"

"To speak to you." She gave Rikku a look. "In private, you remember that right? You and me in—"

"Whatever you want to say to me, you can say right here." Paine cut her off. She narrowed her eyes.

Dona raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow and smirked. "Okay then." She took a sip from her cup. "Everyone's been wondering."

"Wondering what?"

"Wondering where Shu is."

Paine shook her head slowly. "How would I know where he is?"

Dona made it a point to give Rikku a look. "Weren't you the last one to see him last week?" Dona tapped her head lightly as if remembering something. "Oh! No no that's right, you were the last one to buy from him last week. I must say Paine I am a little surprised. Three? What are you aiming at here?"

Rikku grew even more confused when Paine clenched her fists. "I didn't—"

"What's going on here?" Bart pushed his way into the conversation. The two old friends sized each other up and then Bart looked to Dona. "Get outta here."

Dona crossed her arms and looked like she was about to protest but decided better on it. She smiled charmingly at Paine. "I'll see you around." She merely glanced at Rikku before leaving.

Rikku felt a little lost as she watched Paine and this muscular guy stare at one another. Did they used to date? Did they have beef? Rikku didn't know because Paine never talked about it. She wanted her to be her girlfriend yet there were still so many questions.

"She told me."

Paine looked a little surprised. "When?"

"Bout a few days ago… The fuck you doing hanging around Shu?"

Paine grew confused. "What did Dona tell you?"

"That you tried to cop a three, tried to pay in candy or something, what the fuck?"

Paine was a bit relived that Dona didn't say anything to her older brother about what they used to do while he was at work. One, because he would probably try and kill her, and two, because Rikku was standing right there. Paine was about to open her mouth and say something when Bart cut her off.

"Excuse her manners." He looked at Paine then back to Rikku. "She's never really had them." Paine scuffed. "I'm Barthello, everyone calls me Bart though." He put his hand out and Rikku glanced at Paine before shaking it.

"I'm Rikku."

"I know who you are." Bart shook his head as his voice turned foul. "Why are you here?"

"Hey." Paine stepped in front of Rikku slightly.

"Nah Kerrigan, what you have right here is a little rich girl who thought she'd slum it for a while, see what it's like y'know? Once this whole cultural event is done you'll see just how disposable you are to daddy's little girl."

"Hey I—" Paine stepped in front of Rikku fully cutting her off.

Paine glared at Bart. "I'm only going to say this once—"

"Wha? You protecting her or something? Let me fill you in on a little something Paine, you're nothing, she knows it, and I know it. So stop pretending that you are any better." Bart made a move to leave but paused. "Two things, stay the fuck away from my little sister, and stay the fuck away from my territory."

##

She sat and watched as Paine carefully opened the steaming hot container of fried rice. They were in Rikku's attic sitting on the ground with the contents of their brown paper take away bag pulled out and spread across the floor.

Paine had her back against the crimson colored loveseat; she hadn't said much since the whole incident with Bart happened. Matter of fact, she hadn't said anything at all. "You got the sweet and sour sauce right?" Paine asked Rikku who was sitting across from her near the paint stained spot on the ground.

She speaks!

"Paine."

Paine looked up. "You can't eat all of it; I know, that's why I ordered the half pint and not the full one like last time."

"Paine."

"Rice… Sauce… Chicken…." She was placing little containers in front of Rikku. "Napkins, they didn't put in fucking napkins…"

Rikku reached forward and grabbed Paine's wrist before she could put her hand back in the paper bag to search for napkins. Paine finally looked up at her. "Can we talk?"

Paine sighed. "About what?" She mumbled going back to look for napkins.

Rikku sighed herself. "I don't know, about today at the block party, about everyone knowing about Wakka and Lulu except me, about what last night meant? Cause I haven't the slightest clue about anything, and you're not talking to me."

Paine was quiet for a moment. "I haven't been very fair…"

Rikku shook her head. "No."

Rikku liked to talk about things and Paine didn't, not if she didn't have to. It was probably one of their biggest differences.

"Can I start backwards?"

"Backwards?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

Rikku shrugged, she just wanted answers. "Sure."

"Will you be my—" Paine's phone began to buzz on the ground beside her. She and Rikku exchanged looks before Paine glanced at it. "It's Gippal."

Rikku sat back and hugged her knees. She knew what Paine was about to ask. "You should pick it up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

**AN: Reviews? :D**

**KathleenDee**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One **

Paine sighed after hanging up with Gippal. "I have to go…"

"Now?" Rikku questioned. She examined Paine's face and saw that she was keeping herself very guarded right now. Rikku waved her hand; dismissing her. "Fine."

Paine began to get up. "I'll be right back."

"You live across town you won't be back for an hour. Then that's only if you don't _lose track of time_." Rikku shook her head and started opening up the rest of her food. She was so frustrated with her right now she couldn't even bother. "Just bring this stuff downstairs and put it in the fridge." She motioned to Paine's portion.

Paine picked up her few containers. "Do you even want me to come back?" She asked because if she were going to come back to fight then she didn't want that.

Rikku thought about it and sighed heavily. "No, Paine." She still wasn't looking at her.

Paine nodded. "I wanna talk you know…"

"Could have fooled me." She said before eating a spoonful of rice. "You'd rather ask me something that would completely deter us from the conversation on what happened today and that's not right, because under any other given circumstance you know what I would have answered." Rikku picked up her container of rice and an egg roll and left the attic for her room.

##

"Where did they find him?" Paine asked quietly as she debated if she should hug Gippal or not.

Shuyin had been found.

The thick smell of the rain was fresh in the air. Paine could still feel the bit of coldness in her shoes when they slapped against the pavement on her way home. It was a lot darker earlier in the evening, or at least it seemed to get darker the farther she went from the Heights. It seemed fitting though, Paine didn't know how she would feel if it were a clear night.

"Some fucking alley…" Gippal shook his head. "They told his mom today, she called me just now."

Paine was silent. So Dona wasn't just making something up, but had she really been one of the last to see him? "What happened to him?"

Gippal had his dry hands on his face. There was a slight wind coming by that ruffled his un-styled hair. He looked like he hadn't slept all week. "She wouldn't say…"

Paine looked down at her shoes stuffing her hands deeper into her pockets. It had to be bad. "Fuck..."

"Yeah." Gippal sniffled lightly. The two were sitting on the front steps of their building. Paine assumed Gippal had gotten the news on his way home from work, because he had yet to go inside and his work clothes sat in a bag at his sneakered feet.

Paine could see he wanted to hurt. His confliction confused her and for a second she wondered if that's how she looked when Rikku would look at her with those pleading green eyes.

Paine wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. She hesitated before placing her hand on his upper back. Gippal glanced at her a little surprised by the gesture. "What do you want to do?" Paine asked. She knew just by Gippal manner that he thought something wasn't right here. She had known Shu for at least seven years, and out of all of them he was the most careful.

Gippal stared at her for a second before reaching in his pocket for his cell phone. "We get the fucker who did this."

##

"She didn't know what to do. I hope you understand. I only kept it from you because she asked me not to say anything to anyone."

Rikku nodded even though Yuna couldn't see her. "I understand…" She pushed around the beef and broccoli she ordered with her fork.

"How are you? You sound sad."

"Paine and I kinda got into a thing." She wouldn't call it a fight, it wasn't, it would have been though if she stayed, even though Rikku wanted her too.

"What happened?" Yuna lowered the volume of her TV. It was getting late and she was just waiting to feel sleepy before Rikku called.

"I don't know, I never know, just when I think I know, something comes up!"

"What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything. I told her not to come back and she was like oh, okay." Rikku sighed. "I didn't really mean that…"

"Maybe she just didn't want to fight either." Yuna looked to her side at Kimahri sprawled out on the sofa. There almost wasn't enough room for Yuna and her things. She swore he thought he was a puppy still.

"Maybe… Anyway I don't want to talk about it. I want to sit here and eat a bunch of oriental food."

"You two confuse me…"

"Not talking about it." Rikku sang.

Yuna laughed. "Okay, okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me more about Lulu. I mean, is this why she hasn't been around much?"

"She's looking at apartments."

"She can't stash a baby there."

"This is what I keep telling her, she's putting off telling her parents."

"What happens when she starts to show? What about Walker?"

"Who's Walker?"

"Oh." Rikku shook her head at the slip up. "Paine's roommates call him that to annoy him."

"Kind of like Teedus."

"He likes it when I call him that." Rikku defended.

"Mhm." Yuna stretched her legs out in front of her, her foot gently hit the sketch pad on the floor beside the couch, and she sighed. "I think she is going to do it eventually, she has a lot on her plate."

"We should visit her, and the news won't be pretty, her mom is kind of… Eh."

"I know what you mean." Yuna chuckled. "Her father is nice; he and Dad still play tennis."

"That's very rich of them… How's his new girlfriend?"

Yuna bent down to pick up her sketch pad. "I think I need your help with a design."

"Avoiding the question."

Yuna sighed. "Alright." She looked around to make sure no one was around, which now that she thought about it was ridiculous, no one was home. "She's been over a few more times…"

"Ha! I knew it."

"What does this all mean though, Rikku? I mean… I'm so used to her being there not here."

"Well what do they talk about?"

Yuna only shrugged. "Beats me."

##

It was early.

It was early, and she hadn't slept yet.

She spent the whole night, in some of Shuyin's favorite places; searching. All but Bart's house of course. It really brought Paine back in the oddest way. It made her realize how little she actually knew about him, and even herself back then. They would walk by a building and Gippal would ask if she remembered the time she did this or that...

She couldn't.

That still didn't explain why she was here though.

"Black?"

Paine nodded.

Baralai nodded too and went back to his spot in line at some random doughnut shop in little Djose.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked outside at the bright morning through the clear glass windows. Time must have passed without her knowledge because before she knew it she turned her head and found Baralai's soft eyes staring back at her.

Paine looked away.

Baralai smiled to himself. He had almost forgotten who this was. He sat back and took a sip of his hot coffee. "My father saw your picture in The Times, he asked about you."

Paine turned back to look at him. He was wearing a plain white shirt that made him look stronger than he probably was, and regular blue jeans. He had taken off his green zip up jacket when they got into the shop. Something about not wanting to get coffee stains on the fragile material.

Sissy

Paine carefully took the lid off of her paper coffee cup. "What did you tell him?" She blew gently on it then brought it to her lips.

"I told him I hadn't run into you lately, and that I couldn't be sure."

"Hm." Just the aroma alone of the dark roast was already calming Paine. She watched as Baralai messed with the sticky danish he had bought. "How is he?"

"Well, but you know how things are. I never see him."

"And the time you do you talk about me, how lucky am I?"

Baralai gave her a look before reaching for a couple of napkins to grip the danish as he dunked it into his coffee. "How has your summer been so far?"

Paine glanced out the window again as if she saw someone she might know among the crowds of people bustling past. "Well, I failed my first college class, beat the hell out of my professor, and almost went to jail for a girl who I'm pretty sure doesn't want to see me right now."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"You would have to get there first right?" Paine shook her head lightly. For crying out loud they weren't even together together, and still she felt like she had walked in the house with her shoes on, or hadn't taken out the trash, and finally Rikku had just had it with her. Would she even be responsible for taking the trash out? Paine sighed and took a sip of her coffee. Probably. "Trouble at the airport."

Baralai laughed and Paine couldn't help but smile lightly. She was too tired to fight it. "Rikku?"

Paine nodded.

Baralai shook his head wondering why he even bothered to ask. "So is that the reason you look like pulled an all nighter at a morgue or something?"

Paine raised an eyebrow "No."

"Okay…" Baralai knew she wasn't going to answer that question, so he asked another. "Why me?"

"Well originally, it was because you owed me a drink and you didn't ask questions." Baralai chuckled. "But I can see that you've changed quite a bit."

##

Cid checked his watch again. He was meeting Braska for lunch and didn't want to be late. They seriously needed to go over things. Sometimes they disagreed, it was only normal, but on something like this? It could be detrimental to the firm, and to his future plans.

It was 1:35 in the afternoon when he went downstairs to leave. He could hear the small lull of the TV from the den and decided to say goodbye to Rikku. She had been moping around for most of the morning which confused him. What happened to the huge smile she was wearing only a day ago? "Milan I'm leaving and I—"

"Pops shh." Rikku whispered as she gave her father a stern look. "She's sleeping."

Cid wasn't even aware that Paine had come over.

Yet there she was, lying on the couch with her head on a pillow in Rikku's lap. His daughter was mindlessly running her hand through the other girl's hair while watching TV on a very low setting.

Cid fought the questions from coming out. He was still waiting for Rikku to come to him, and if he stayed he would be late which wouldn't be good. "I'm leaving now, are you going to be alright?" He whispered.

Rikku nodded. "Paine's here."

Cid had to smile at that. He was glad that she could feel safe around someone. Yevon knows he had been worried about her. "Okay. Bye."

"Bye Pops." Rikku waved. Once she heard the front door close she sighed and looked down at Paine.

She was worried.

Paine hadn't called or anything, which was very unlike her.. About an hour and a half earlier she just showed up, said she was sorry and wanted to talk if Rikku was ready, and then fell asleep while Rikku was getting a glass of water for her.

Rikku had fought her to actually get her to lie down but once she did she automatically rested her head on the couch pillow Rikku had on her lap, curled up slightly, and went back to sleep. It was cute, and having Paine close again felt good, but she was still worried.

Rikku ran her right hand through Paine's hair as she studied her face. She laid still and quiet as usual. Rikku only knew she was breathing because she could feel it; the graceful movement coming from her chest calmed Rikku's overactive imagination.

She had been mad at first and now, well now she couldn't stop looking down at her. She knew she overreacted sometimes; Paine made her just so irrational and so out of touch with what she wanted to say. Rikku ran her fingers across Paine's cheek and smiled as the other woman curled her body up a little more in her sleep. When she was staying at Paine's place and found, on the rare occasion that she was awake and Paine wasn't, Rikku would run her fingertips across her cheeks and Paine would snuggle closer, or curl her body up if she didn't have her arm around Rikku. Rikku wondered if everyone did that or if it was just Paine. She went back to watching TV with a sigh. Why couldn't she just be with her? Why did all of this stuff have to get in the way? She knew she could make Paine happy like she made her, why couldn't they just… Be?

##

"You're late." Cid smiled anyway at Braska as the other man sat across from and motioned to the waiter to come over.

"Scotch." Braska ordered.

Cid raised an eyebrow. "You are aware it's two in the afternoon aren't you?"

Braska sighed heavily and ran a hand through his short brown hair. "Shuyin Grant is dead." He watched the color drain from Cid's face and motioned for the waiter again. "Make that two."

##

"You awake, hm?" Rikku asked quietly once she felt Paine move around a little. She rubbed her arm and Paine nodded but stayed put. "Buun drehk." Rikku cooed rubbing Paine's back now.

Paine closed her eyes at her touch and voice. "Rikks…" she let out a relaxed sigh.

Rikku smiled. "That feel good?" Paine only nodded again. "Good." Rikku used both hands to massage up and down Paine's left arm then to her side, her back and finally to her neck. Paine made a little noise as Rikku's fingers firmly worked on a knot there. Rikku worked on it till she could feel no tension there and then ran her hand along Paine's jaw. Touching her like this made Rikku feel funny, in a good way. Paine eventually turned on her back and their eyes finally met. Rikku smiled lightly down at her. "You can go back to sleep in my room if you're still sleepy."

Paine shook her head no and sat up with her legs still on the length of the couch. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and tossed it across the room.

"Hey!"

"I don't care." Paine said shushing Rikku, her voice was slightly raspy from sleep. "Someone died… They found him and… And I was one of the last people to see him alive because I was going to buy oxycodone from him."

"Oh god, Pai—"

"I'm not going back, Rikku." Paine said seriously She needed Rikku to believer her. "I- I almost did, that night before the trial. It was scary, I was scared, I was weak, but I swear it on my life I won't. I want to… I want to be with you, and that's more than enough. I should have never used that to try and not talk about things. They are important and, you are important." She sighed and took Rikku's hand. "Please." She looked up and they stared directly at each other.

For a few moments neither said anything.

Rikku used her free hand to brush some of Paine's hair behind her ear. Paine had an earnest look on her face and that warmth in her eyes that always made looking anywhere else seem colder and uninspired to the blonde.

"Yes?"

"Go out with me? Be my girlfriend, no one's ever made me feel this way and I don't want anyone else."

Rikku began to fight the smile on her face which made Paine smile.

"But I didn't get to take you on a date yet." Rikku giggled at Paine's face when she said that. "Yes, of course Paine, I'll be your girl. "

Rikku had honestly never Paine smile so wide. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Rikku laughed. She tugged on their joined hands. "Kiss me."

Paine leaned forward and squeezed her hand affectionately before kissing her. Rikku melted forward against her as their mouths glided against the others softly. Paine's stomach was full of butterflies, she had never been so happy in her life, so relived, so anxious in a good way; a new high. They kissed for a few more seconds. Rikku was the first to pull away, she grinned up at Paine. "Yay." She cheered quietly causing Paine to laugh. "What do we do now?"

"We can kiss some more," Paine nodded thoughtfully as she leaned closer again. Rikku's lips were soft and very responsive, she wasn't just kissing to kiss, she was kissing because she wanted just as much Paine did, knowing that made her feel good.

"Or." Rikku smiled as she stopped her gently. Although she was definitely up for more sweet kisses from _her girlfriend_ she wanted to make sure Paine was okay first. "I can ask you if you're okay." Paine sighed. "Don't make the same mistake twice." Rikku warned playfully.

Paine nodded and straightened herself out and leaned her back against the back of the couch. Rikku pulled both her knees up and hugged them as she faced Paine by leaning her back on the armrest.

"You never met him, maybe you saw him at Taboo, Shuyin. He was skinny, wore a gray beanie."

"Looked like Tidus?"

"Yeah him, he's dead."

Paine had said it so casually as if people died on her every day. "Were you two friends?"

"Kind of, not really. We were situational friends. He was really the brains behind Bart's muscle." Paine shook her head. "A part of me is just like whatever, because I distanced myself from them in the last year and it shouldn't matter."

"A loss is a loss, Pai."

"I know but that's the thing. It's like I put them on pause the moment I woke up in the hospital last January. These people that I thought I knew, they don't seem real. They're not the real things, and if they're not the real things then Shu isn't dead…" Paine looked to Rikku's face for some kind of indication that she was making sense.

"But he is."

"I can't feel it though…"

"Feel what?"

Paine shrugged. "Whatever you're supposed to feel when you lose someone you know. I mean I've known him for years, and I was one of the last people to see him alive…." Paine quieted down. She had been replaying over _that_ night over and over. It all came out the same though. Everything was the same it had been the last time she thought about it."No one knows how it happened. Gippal is freaking out, although he and Shu were never really close anyway."

"You'll feel it."

Paine shook her head. "I don't know." What made Shuyin so different? If she couldn't feel the loss of so many other important things, why was now different?

"When my mom died everyone was sad right away, I couldn't understand it. I thought maybe I was broken, or maybe just so angry at her for leaving like that."

"Like what?" Paine asked curiously. Like her parents, Rikku never talked about her mother.

"She left me Paine…" Rikku got a faraway look on her face for a second before prompting her attention back on Paine.

"She couldn't have possibly known that something bad would have happened." Paine tried to console her.

"She left me to figure all this stuff out by myself. You know what it was like when I got my period?"

Paine shook her head at Rikku. "I'm trying to be serious."

Rikku smiled a little. "I know, it's cute." The Al bhed sighed and rested her chin in between her knees. "But I felt it, I felt eventually, Pai, and all this stuff that you were turned off to feeling for so long is gonna come back, and you're gonna feel it too."

Paine shook her head. "I have a feeling you're right."

"Of course I'm right, you know why?"

"Why?"

"Cause I'm your girlfriend, I'm always right."

Paine sent her a small smile. "So what does that make me, since I'm yours?"

"You can be right when I'm wrong." She reasoned.

"But if you're always right…"

Rikku grinned. "Funny how that works, huh?"

Paine only smiled. "You said yes though…" She said after letting it all sink in. Rikku was her girlfriend now.

Rikku Bayla was her girlfriend!

Paine knew she was way out of her league, but damn was she happy.

"Should we tell everyone?"

The question broke Paine out of her little daydream. "What like your dad?"

"Yevon no, like Yunie and Teedus… Gippal?"

Paine shrugged. "Rikku, can we just, be happy for a little?"

Rikku tilted her head. "I am happy, Paine."

"I just wanna… Keep it between us two for a little while." Paine shook her head. "I don't know how it usually works, but with all this stuff going on I don't want to go on double dates or anything. I just want to spend time with you so we can get used to…" What was she even trying to say? Paine put her hand to her face and Rikku laughed. "Stop laughing I'm stressed." Paine peaked at Rikku through her fingers.

"What you just realized what you did didn't you?" Paine nodded and Rikku laughed more. "Too late Paine, you can't be an asker taker backer."

"What have I done? Now I can't go to the twenty four hour strip club or anything!"

"I'd kill you." Rikku nodded seriously. Paine laughed but then her face changed quickly and Rikku noticed what she had just done. "I'm sorry, Paine…"

"It's okay…" She focused somewhere else in the room.

"So when is the service? Do you want me to come with you?"

Paine shook her head no. "His mom can't afford one." Rikku frowned. "It's not uncommon." Paine reassured once she saw Rikku's face.

"Yeah, but it's still not right."

"Well." Paine shrugged lightly. There was nothing they could do about it. There would probably be a party that she most likely wasn't going to be invited to. Paine still didn't know if it bothered her or not, Bart had made it very clear where she stood.

"Do you really think something happened to him? I mean like someone may have hurt him?" Paine nodded. "You should tell the police or something…"

"They're not going to care if one less drug dealer is off the streets, Rikku."

"Yeah well…" Rikku didn't know what to say. She had a point, it wasn't that she thought that this Shu guy deserved what happened to him, but maybe if he tried to make a better life for himself it wouldn't have. Paine had a small look of uncertainty on her face. "What's wrong?" She pressed lightly.

"It just doesn't add up to me… I don't know." She shook her head again brining her fingertips to her lips and prodding them there in thought.

"So what did you stay up doing?" Paine wasn't fooling anyone. Rikku knew she was tired, it took a lot for Paine to just fall asleep like that.

Paine hesitated. Rikku was her girlfriend now; they had turned that page together and were now in a new place, she didn't want to start off on a bad foot by lying to her. "I don't want you to worry…"

"Oui mega dnuipma." Rikku shook her head. "Just understand now that it's different, okay? You and I are together so… That means certain things."

"I know." Paine nodded. "I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize that, I promise." She meant what she said a hundred percent. It was half the reason why she came over here after coffee and a walk with Baralai. She couldn't be around Gippal and his paranoia. She wanted to be with Rikku, and now, she was. Paine couldn't help a little smile from forming. Rikku shook her head at her slowly smiling herself, she knew what Paine had just thought. "Besides that, and the fact that I get to do this." Paine leaned forward and surprised Rikku by stealing a short kiss. "What else will be different?"

"Instead of calling me Princess, you have to call me _My Dearest Princess_."

Paine laughed. "You're my only one though."

"Good answer."

"I'm a little in over my head, I just y'know, I wanna be good to you." Paine blushed at her words. "You know how I feel… Fuck." She looked up at the ceiling making Rikku laugh. "I sound ridiculous."

"Maybe." Rikku scooted closer to her and put her arm around Paine's back. She did, she knew how she felt too, and it seemed scary at how close the two had become. How crazy the pull between them was. They couldn't stay away from one another if they tried. From the moment Rikku met her she knew that she would be important, she knew that if she just let her walk off with her coffee instead of inviting her to sit, that her life would be completely different. Rikku shook her head lightly at how fast time had gone by. "I wanna warn you that I can be a little…"

"Crazy?" Paine asked. "I know, that's what I like about you."

"You did not just call your girlfriend crazy."

"I did." Paine smirked. Their faces had gotten closer with each syllable and finally Paine just leaned the rest of the way and kissed her.

She could really get used to doing this.

"Mm." Rikku purred lightly when Paine touched her jaw line; her fingertips were cool as the peppered across her cheek. Paine was a really good kisser. She had this sensual way of doing it that would become a problem for the blonde in the very near future if she kept it up. Paine had always been good about that; showing instead of telling. "I love this." Rikku mumbled in between kisses without even noticing her thoughts had been out loud. Rikku didn't think it possible to kiss like this with someone and have it mean so much. She felt home, she felt safe, and warm, and happy, and for a long time she wasn't sure those feelings were even obtainable anymore. Paine responded to her mumbled words by leaning into her and wrapping her left hand around her lower back. Rikku's heart rate increased and a shot of energy raced down her spinal cord as Paine applied a more pressure to the kiss, and her hand gripped her side.

There weren't enough words to describe what kissing Rikku felt like. She had thought about it for a while now, wondering how it would feel if she ever got the chance. It couldn't be healthy, she concluded. Her chest hurt, and she felt so vulnerable yet so empowered. She never wanted it to stop. Paine felt Rikku's knees move from in front of her to the side giving Paine room to scoot closer.

When she did they could hear the front door being opened and Paine felt Rikku flinch involuntarily. She pulled away gently and stared into deep seas of green.

"Milan!"

Paine smiled lightly as if to say "See?"

It was just her father.

"They're in here Cid." Braska smiled at the looks on Paine and Rikku's face when they looked up and noticed he was in the doorway and they were still close. Paine quickly pulled her hands to herself and Rikku cleared her throat, both stared at the TV making sure to put a good distance between them before Cid showered up.

"Their? She's still here? Thank Yevon." Cid shook his head as he appeared at Braska's side. "We need to speak to you, Paine."

"What's wrong?" Rikku asked noticing the look on her father's face. He didn't say anything.

Paine stood and followed them after glancing at Rikku.

"Do you know this man?" Braska asked gently when they made it into Cid's small house office. It was a little room that Paine had never really paid any attention to on the first floor. There was a desk, a potted plant a few bookshelves, a bulky fax machine that took up a good chunk of space, and a rickety chair that Paine stood beside. Something told her that she wouldn't want to sit down.

"What's this about?" She asked before being handed a picture from a morgue. The body was a pasty blue and lifeless, but Paine knew who it was. His blonde hair was pushed aside and she could make out the hole near his eyebrow for his piercing. They all got piercings that day. "Shuyin… How did you guys even kno—"

"The morning of your trial a case came in, this was why I was a little late getting ready which of course made Rikku Milan and I late." Cid explained. He was sitting at the desk; a solemn look on his face. Paine pushed the picture away from her, she suddenly felt sick.

"What in the hell?" She asked seriously. "I saw him the night before the trial."

Braska and Cid exchanged looks. "The trial was the city of New Luca against one of the most well known drug traffickers in your area of the city. Shuyin Grant was one of the few witnesses we had who actually wasn't afraid of testifying against him in court, In exchange for a completely expunged record, of course." Braska glanced at Cid again.

Cid cleared his throat. "It appears that somehow the names were leaked…"

Paine said nothing; her mouth felt dry like she had swallowed sand and her head began to spin. "Who else?" She barely got out.

The second Gippal's picture fell on the desk Paine was out the door.

##

"He's not answering." Paine stated hanging up and trying again. She stood. "I gotta go."

"Wait, Paine, just calm down a minute." Rikku grabbed her forearm and tried her best to seem calm because one of them had to be, Paine was getting more agitated as the seconds passed.

"How the fuck am I supposed to calm down right now, Rikku?" Paine said taking her forearm back.

"Paine." Cid warned. He was a little surprised when he got a look from Rikku. It seemed the two had forgotten that he and Braska were there, still, he didn't like how she was talking.

"I'm going. He isn't picking up; he doesn't work tonight so I know something is wrong." Paine shook her head as she hung up her phone, and reached for her leather jacket that had been sitting on the reclining chair since she arrived.

"I'm going too."

"No." Cid, Braska, and Paine said at the same time right after Rikku spoke.

"It's not safe." Braska elaborated.

Rikku crossed her arms. "So it's safe for Paine then?"

Cid gave Rikku a fatherly look that said "Paine isn't my daughter." Rikku huffed.

"She makes a point, Paine." Braska said walking after her. Rikku and Cid weren't so far behind. "We don't know if this person saw you that night, we don't know if they think you saw them. We don't know anything."

"I know something; whoever killed my friend is going to kill Gippal if I don't do something. So all of this talking is great but excuse me, none of you can really know how it is over there. They don't care where you are, who you're with. He's not safe. You do your jobs, and I'll do mine." Paine looked over to Rikku. "I'm sorry; I'll call you later I promise."

"Stop promising me things Paine Kerrigan."

##

"He isn't home?" Paine asked as she hopped off the number five bus and started walking quickly toward Crenshaw Street. The day had aged into a breezy late evening and Paine was really starting to feel the effects of having only three hours of sleep. She had to be alert though. All around her people were busy rushing home to start dinner and catch up with their families. Crenshaw Street was off the larger more main road where all the shops and businesses were. Paine was finding that every time she was reminded of where she was, she wanted to leave. There was an old comfort in these streets that was beginning to fade.

"Sorry Dr. P, no one else is here but me." Nooj said carefully. "Is everything okay?"

Paine shook her head. "I'm just a little tired. Listen did he say anything when he left earlier?"

"Said he would be back soon."

"When was that?"

"Over an hour ago, but you know with Gippal, he probably saw something shiny and got distracted."

"Yeah." Paine sighed. She heard a faint beep and looked at her phone to see that Rikku was calling. "Alright I'm coming home for a second." They said their goodbyes and Paine switched the line over. "Rikku."

"Paine, I think you should come back."

Paine paused where she was on the corner of her street and the main road. "What's wrong?" She heard it in her voice.

"I dunno, just… Where are you?"

"I'm two minutes away from my house." She continued walking again.

"Will you come back over when you're done talking to Gippal?"

"Yeah… Hey, what you said before I left…"

"People start getting used to promising things, they don't hold as much weight as they once meant."

"I shouldn't promise you things then?" Rikku didn't say anything. Paine stopped again. "What's wrong, Princess?"

"Nothing nothing, so will you come over? Bring Gippal too, Pops says it's okay and probably for the best."

"Are you mad at me for leaving?"

"No, he's your family, I would have done the same thing if Brother was in trouble, just be careful. "

Paine nodded to herself. "I kinda have to now don't I?"

Rikku smiled. "That's right missy."

Just then Paine breathed a sigh of relief. "This asshole."

"What?"

"It's Gippal." Paine explained as she saw her blonde friend strolling down the same sidewalk in the opposite direction as Paine, he was carrying a large brown paper bag in his arms; the tops of turnip greens and a French baguette peaked out from the top. He waved at Paine. "I'll call you back." She hung up with Rikku and shook her head at him from a distance. "You're an ass!" She had actually been really worried about him.

"What!" Gippal yelled back with a little laugh.

"I said—"

"Is ass a bad word?"

Paine looked to her left to find Jade and Mackenzie. Jade was holding a jump rope and what looked like her shoe strings tied to the ends. Paine stopped. "Uh, yeah it's a grown up word. It's bad for little kids to say it."

"I'm not little!" Mackenzie put her hands on her hips.

"It's bad for kids to say it." Paine laughed. She scratched the back of her head as she stepped over to them. "What are you guys doing out here so late?"

"Mackenzie forgot her keys." Jade explained while Mackenzie looked down at the floor in an embarrassed manner.

"Moma is coming home soon…" She explained to the ground.

Paine sighed. People were getting killed just a few blocks away and they were outside playing. "C'mon." She pulled out her house keys. It was then that a quiet car rounded the corner and crept up the street without notice.

Gippal chuckled as Jade ran forward ahead of Paine and Big Mack and asked him if he needed help with his bag. "It looks heavy." She nodded up at him. Everyone knew she had a little crush on him.

"A little eh?" He leaned back shifting the weight against his body better as he reached his hand in to pull out a juicy grapefruit. "Here, hold this."

Seeing this Mackenzie dashed forward from her spot at Paine's side. "I want one too!"

Paine laughed a little as she continued her pace. She looked up the street when she heard a car horn. It was coming from an old beaten up jalopy riding right behind a black sedan with tinted windows. The car horn sounded again and the black car sped up a little. "No…" Paine shook her head to herself, she quickened her pace a little. "Gip!"

"More?" Gippal chuckled handing Jade a lime next. Mackenzie was still running clumsily toward them.

The car window slowly crept down and Paine started running. "Gippal!"

Gippal looked up to see Paine and then looked to the street directly beside him. He immediately dropped the paper bag of groceries and grabbed Jade.

Several loud popping noises could be heard over the loud car horn as the black car picked up speed. Mackenzie was frozen in fear, standing directly in line with the oncoming crossfire. Paine began running faster and finally picked her up and turned her back to the street to protect the little girl in her arms as she leapt for the ground.

The sound of the jalopy car horn stopped and was replaced with the sound of a rubber tires revving up and screeching away.

"What the fuck!" Gippal yelled form his spot on the ground. He looked to Jade who was sniffling in his arms. "Are you okay?" She nodded weakly.

"Uncle Gippal Uncle Gippal!" Mackenzie cried.

"Dr. P, you okay!" Gippal pulled himself off the ground.

Paine blinked harshly a couple of times. She could taste salt in her mouth and could smell the mineral in the sidewalk distinctly. Her chin was sore and her eyes were having trouble focusing on Mackenzie's arm. "Yeah." She managed weakly. She let Mackenzie crawl from underneath her and winced when the little girl began to cry.

Why were kids so loud?

"Go inside," Gippal pushed Jade up the stairs and ran over to where Paine was still lying. "You oka… You got hit!" His eyes grew wide at the ruby red peaking from under her leather jacket.

"No?" Paine furrowed her brows when Gippal began fussing over her. She could feel his hands pull her jacket aside and then ripping the back of her shirt. "Wha, Gip I'm fine…" She slurred.

##

"Sit her up!" One of the paramedics yelled to the other when she stared coughing up small amounts of blood, and saliva, her body was shaking.

Gippal stared on with his hands in his hair. He couldn't lose her. This wasn't happening. "She's losing a bit here; we need to stabilize her on the way over." The other ordered as they helped Paine lay back on her stomach.

Paine's eyes were wide as her body went into shock. She was looking straight at Gippal for help. "I'm coming with you!" He pushed past Nooj who had come out dressed when he heard people yelling.

"Sir we can't—"

"Move the fuck outta my way." Gippal pushed the paramedic who didn't understand that she was all he had.

"Let him come." The other hollered from inside the truck.

##

It was around eight at night when Cid got a phone call from Gippal. "I've been trying to get in contact with you all day, Trent" Cid stood from his home office desk. "Slow down… Which one? We'll be right there." Hung up the phone and called Braska.

"Hello?"

"Juliann?"

"Cid..."

##

She was scared

For the first time in her life she was truly afraid that she may not make it out of this one.

All Paine could feel was cold air like there was an awful draft somewhere, and tugging, people were tugging at her body. She was no longer on her stomach but now on her back. All she could see was the beginnings of an oxygen mask on her nose and blurry Gumby looking men with white masks hiding their noses and mouths.

"We've got eyes!" Someone above her announced.

Someone with soft hazel eyes came into view. Paine flinched at how close they seemed. "Paine, it's okay, you're in the Mercy Grace Hospital—" She tried to focus on them as a sickening pain shot up her side. She groaned loudly. She glared up at the person looking down at her and was about to try and speak until she felt something being yanked out of her body.

Paine's eyes fluttered close.

"What did you do!"

"I-"

"Hang more blood!"

##

"Milan! Yuna!" Cid knocked hard on his daughter's door.

"Yevon, Pops." Rikku opened the door. Behind her he could see Yuna lounging on Rikku's bed reading a fashion magazine.

"Paine's in the hospital."

Yuna picked up her head and Rikku seemed stunned into action. She turned and grabbed her boots from off of the ground. "I'm driving." She was already heading down the stairs.

Yuna and Cid exchanged looks.

Rikku was always a fast and somewhat reckless driver. Cid had no idea where she had got it from, but this was why he refused to get her a manual transmission on her car, Though that didn't even seem to matter as he found himself sitting in the backseat clutching onto Mo the stuffed alligator when she took the turns. "Just because I'm a lawyer doesn't mean I can get you out of tickets, Milan." He reminded her. He said it just to say it. He could only imagine what was going through the youngest Bayla's head.

"A right up here." Yuna pointed from the passenger's seat. She had her cell phone out with directions to the hospital in Paine's neighborhood that she was rushed to.

Rikku nodded, she hadn't said anything yet. She didn't know if she could.

"Paine Kerrigan?" Cid asked once they rushed into the hospital.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kerrigan is in surgery right now, and unless you are the immediate family we cannot allow anyone to see her."

"Surgery?" It was the first word Rikku had said in the half hour since hearing the news. Her eyes welled and she felt Yuna put an arm around her.

"Rikku?" Elma walked up to the front desk after nodding at the person she was walking with before they parted. Rikku almost didn't recognize her in her scrubs and her white coat; she had her dark hair pulled back and was wearing glasses. "What's going on here?" She asked the woman at the front desk.

"They won't let us see Paine."

"Paine?" Elma made a face. "She's here? For what?"

"Renal surgery, came in as a trauma not long ago, Elma." The woman at the front desk informed.

"And no one told me!"

"I'm sorry I didn—"

Elma shook her head. "Move." She practically pushed the woman out of her seat and typed in Paine's information. Her eyes widened a little but then tried to calm them for the people waiting in front of the desk. "Do they know she's O negative?" Elma asked the nurse at the front desk.

"I… I don't know ma'am."

Elma picked up a phone and dialed a few numbers. "Type specific blood request for Paine A. Kerrigan, OR five… Yes. O negative Sally…. How much? Shit, okay go with that. Thank you." She hung up and looked up at Rikku and everyone else. "Come with me."

Gippal was pacing the OR waiting room when Elma walked in. "Em!"

"Why didn't you call me?" She demanded.

"I didn't have time I… She's a fucking idiot, I swear she just jumped in front of Mackenzie and… Fuck, they aren't telling me anything, why was she coughing up blood? Is she going to be okay?"

Elma had planned on tearing him a new one, but when she saw how scared he looked she put both hands on his shoulders. "I'm going to check. Okay?" Gippal nodded. "Rikku is here." Elma informed him. She had taken the employee elevator which naturally was faster than the normal one. "Please get that look off your face you'll scare her more than the moron at the front desk did." Gippal nodded again.

Gippal shook his head back forth quickly. "I'm sorry Em, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Elma nodded and turned when she heard Rikku call out Gippal's name. "I'll be right back."

"Cid's girl." Gippal opened his arms and Rikku fell into them without a second thought. It was only then, when she was so close to an important part of Paine did she begin to cry. Gippal sighed and hugged her tighter. "Ed'c kuehk du pa ugyo," He mumbled making Rikku cry a little harder.

Cid looked on as his daughter embraced him. Gippal Trent was hardly the person he expected Rikku to befriend. Had she felt safe with everyone but him? Had she known Gippal's record? Surely she would feel differently if she did. Right? It was then that Cid realized none of that mattered to Rikku. In a career where your past mistakes stayed with you always, it was hard to think any other way. Cid hardly was able to get passed this, but he was beginning to learn that sometimes it was more than just a case file. Maybe that's why he was so good at prosecution; you rarely had to tap into what made the person a person. It was more of what they did. "Trent."

Gippal looked up from hugging Rikku, he glanced at Yuna who nodded and came to comfort her. "Sir." Gippal began. "… She jumped in front of a little girl." Cid nodded. "I wanna get these bastards so fucking bad."

"Are you still in?" Cid needed to know to tell Braska who was on his way over to the office then over here.

Gippal nodded. "They got too close."

"I agree."

"Whatever I need to do. I'll do it…" The two continued talking as Yuna tried to comfort Rikku.

"I hate her." Rikku mumbled. "I hate her for making me feel like this, Yunie." Rikku wiped her face in her already damp sleeve.

"Don't say that."

"She asked me to be her girlfriend today."

Yuna raised her eyebrows. "Really?" This was supposed to be happy news.

"You can't have a relationship if the other person is dead."

"She's not going to die."

Rikku sniffled and Yuna looked around for a tissue box. She found one next to a stack of old magazines and handed one to Rikku. "She just wanted to be happy with me for a little while, that's what she said. Like she knew something was going to happen." Rikku wiped her eyes. She felt angry all of a sudden. Angry at herself for crying, angry at Paine for having to be a damn hero, angry at Gippal, angry at her father, angry at Auron, hell even angry at Yuna. Her boyfriend was fine, and would be fine. He wasn't lying cut open on a table somewhere in this grade C hospital with grade D insurance. Rikku pushed herself out of her chair. She needed a minute to be alone.

Sensing that, Yuna let her leave.

**AN: Valentine's Day isn't for lovers. It's for all those who love—and that's all of us. So go on and love. Happy Valentine's Day everyone :)**

**Review! Tell me what you think, what you don't think, what you want to think lol Just tell me something!**

**KathleenDee**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two **

When she came back dried faced and puffy eyed Yuna leaned close and whispered. "Are you okay?" She knew she wasn't, but she looked like needed someone to at least ask.

Rikku nodded and looked around. "Did anyone come out?"

"No."

"Okay." She fell back into her seat and cleared her mind, or at least she tried to.

##

"Are you the patient's family?" The doctor looked a bit confused.

"Her name is Paine." Braska corrected.

"Right, well she'll be in a lot of it."

No one laughed.

The middle aged man in the deep blue scrubs looked down at the chart in his hands and cleared his throat. He nodded at Elma who took the chart and walked off. "Paine experienced a gunshot wound to the lower back; we sent the bullet into testing to see what kind it had to be to inflict such damage on the muscle tissue there. It tore a bit of her left kidney, thankfully we found the bullet lodged near a blood vessel and a ureter tube, the vessel, uh, burst during surgery causing a renal aneurysm and more blood loss. We repaired the tear and stabilized the kidney; we're very optimistic on its function later, however we are concerned with her urinary output since the ureter was damaged. To prevent her from becoming septic, we attached a catheter to dispose of waste for the first week or so. A stent was placed to keep the ureter tube together while it healed and will require a small procedure to remove it once it is time. We'd like to keep her for a while to monitor her."

"Of course." Cid nodded.

"What about all the blood?" Rikku asked. She couldn't breathe easy just yet.

"With rest Paine's body should help to replace the loss."

"What about infections? Yuna asked.

The surgeon who had yet to introduce himself thought for a second before speaking. "We used a stent coated in heparin to lower the risk of infection." He nodded and then remembered something "A question, is she prone to nose bleeds at all?"

Rikku began to shake her head no but Gippal stepped forward. "She used to get 'em a lot when we were little." He shrugged a little. The drugs didn't help it either.

The doctor nodded. "Okay, are their anymore questions?"

"Can we see her?" Rikku asked.

"I'm sorry but she has just gotten out of surgery. I don't think it would be best…"

"She's going to wake up scared, and she hates hospitals." Rikku played with the ring on her right hand. Where was Elma? She would let her in.

"We have sedated her to give her body some time to heal without stress. She will probably sleep through the night."

And she did.

Rikku softly ran her hand across Paine's face, her nose, her lips, the ones she had been kissing earlier that day. She bit her lip and looked to Elma who was standing beside her. The room was very dim, and the gentle metronome of Paine's heartbeat was the only thing that could be heard aside from their short whispers. "Does it hurt her?"

Elma crossed her arms and sighed. Her shift was over but she doubted she would be going home. "When patients first come out of a trauma surgery their a little banged up." She said honestly.

Rikku said nothing; she looked back down at Paine. Her usually warm body was cold and she was sleeping in that way of hers that scared the hell out of Rikku. The quiet was just too much, and then to know she would be in pain only made Rikku feel worse. "We argue sometimes, I don't understand her loyalties and she doesn't get why I don't have any real ones. I know that's the real issue." Rikku spoke quietly as if she might wake Paine.

Elma listened. She and Rikku never really had too much time alone to talk about things, get to know one another better. It was apparent that Paine felt strongly for her, Elma was now beginning to understand why.

"I don't know who to be mad at anymore…"

"All of this was out of our control, Rikku."

She pulled her hand away from Paine's face and rested it on her arm to think. She chuckled lightly and Elma nudged her with an elbow in asking what was so funny. "I'm upset at her for saving a little kid's life. She just makes me look bad."

Elma chuckled a little too. "I think you are just scared for her."

Rikku nodded. "I was thinking the worst. It made me realize how much I…" Rikku sighed heavily not even daring to finish that sentence. "Is she going to be okay?"

Elma just smiled.

##

Paine groaned softly when she began to hear voices.

"Are you sure?" Yuna's light voice asked.

"Yeah. I will call you later."

Paine fought to wake up when she heard the familiar reply. Her vitals machine started to sound with the irregular beat of consciousness though it was acute enough not to sound any alarms.

"How is she?" Another voice could be heard, there were footsteps. "Mackenzie keeps asking." Paine felt some tugging at her right arm.

"She hasn't woken up yet…"

"She will."

"I know, it's just… I don't know, she looks really thin and…"

"It's the hospital gown; it makes even me look like a size two." There was a small bit of laughter and then a sigh at her right. "She didn't say much the last time she was here; maybe she will talk now that she has someone to talk to."

"I hope so." Why did Rikku sound so sad?

"Do you want me to let you go and get some breakfast? I can sit with her if you like."

Paine could feel her left hand being played with lightly; the gentleness of the persons hand told her that Rikku was on her left. "No, it's okay."

"I'll bring the girls by later when I get off."

"I think she'd like that."

"Okay, but before then I'll be back to change her bag."

The hands stopped movements and Paine could feel a faint, yet firm pressing by Rikku's small digits. "Oh, alright."

Footsteps could be heard and then a small sigh. Time passed. "I told Yunie the other night about us… I was kind of upset with you y'know? I think that's why you're taking your time to wake up, 'cause you know you're in trouble." She could feel something warm cup her left hand. "I'm not mad anymore though, so you can wake up now. I mean sleep if you're still tired, just y'know… I miss you. The doctors said that you should be okay but… It would just really help if you could open your eyes and help reassure me."

Rikku let go of Paine's hand and wiped her eyes. She just looked really pale and small in the big hospital bed. It was definitely a change from the shared room they had her in first, but still.

Rikku hadn't left the hospital since she got there about two days ago. Elma had snuck her into the employee showers and Yuna brought over a change of clothes. Her father would call every now and then and ask her to come home. But he just didn't understand and Rikku was tired of trying to explain it.

She couldn't go about life while Paine just lying somewhere. What if Paine woke up and there was no one there? She would feel sad, Rikku knew she would.

And besides what kind of girlfriend would she be if she just left like that?

Not the kind she wanted to be, that's the kind.

"I told Lai you were in the hospital, he came by yesterday. He looked really sad Paine, you should cut him some slack. "

At around eleven in the morning Mackenzie's mother came back with a small kit in her hand. She was a short woman with dark skin and wide eyes that matched her daughter's. Her smile was somewhat cooked and her laugh jolly making the woman all the more endearing. As soon as she heard Paine was here she asked to be moved to take care of her. Rikku found it sweet how she talked about Paine, and though she never asked why Rikku stayed here with her for so long, she was always willing to bring in an extra pillow and blanket for her when the night came.

"Nothing yet, hm?" Nurse Joyce asked.

"No." Rikku sat back and watched as the older women pulled aside the bed sheets and did her usual check up. Rikku got up and looked away as Joyce reached in between her legs and began the process of changing Paine's catheter.

"Well she is urinating, that's a good sign." Joyce picked her head up from her work to fine Rikku near the window, looking elsewhere.

"How long will she have to be, um, hooked up to that thing?"

"Well until her kidney and ureter heals enough."

"How long will that take?"

"People heal at different rates. I would guess for as long as she is here, two weeks or so, but she will have to be coming in for a while for post op checkups."

Rikku frowned. "Oh." She knew Paine wouldn't like that one bit.

"You'll have to be patient with her, something tells me she won't be too fond of coming back here."

Rikku laughed a little. "Yeah…"

"It doesn't look like there is any more blood in the urine which is also a good sign." After a few more moments of silence between the two, Joyce pulled off her gloves and covered Paine up again. "Done."

Rikku turned and walked to the bed. She was wearing faded blue skinny jeans and one of her brothers gray sweatshirts with his Junior Blitz league team number in red. It was way too small for him now, but Yuna knew that it had always comforted her before meeting Paine, and Paine's NLU hoody was all the way at her apartment; a placed where Cid had asked her not to go, not until they figured things out.

"Thank you." She smiled as Joyce left. Rikku looked down at Paine and tapped her leg lightly. "Pee is lookin' good." She chuckled quietly but stopped when she heard Paine make a little noise. "Paine?"

Paine tried to clear her throat but it was so dry she couldn't. She made a few more noises and began to move around a little. "Paine, oh hey you're awake." Rikku beamed and reached to take her hand. Her smile dropped when she heard Paine whine in discomfort. She could feel her hand being squeezed. "It's okay, take a breath for a second. You're okay." Rikku coached as she leaned over her and pressed the nurse button. Paine began breathing heavily and making more noises. Rikku had never seen or thought she could ever see her like this. It broke her heart that all she could do was hold her hand and stroke the side of her face.

Just then Joyce came running in. "What's happened?" She asked immediately going over to the other side of the bed.

"I don't know. She woke up and just started doing this, she's squeezing my hand pretty hard," Rikku got out quickly, she was beginning to panic.

"Okay, alright, it's the pain from the surgery and I just changed her catheter too." She explained. "Paine, Paine, its Joyce can you hear me?" Joyce pulled out a small flashlight and pulled her eyelids open to check her pupils. Paine pulled her eyes closed quickly.

_What the fuck?_ She thought.

"You're in the hospital you've been shot, but everything is okay. I just need you to relax for me."

Paine got better control of her breathing and shook her head yes.

"On a scale of one to ten—"

"Ten." Paine gritted her teeth. Rikku's frown deepened and she tried rubbing her arm.

"Okay, would you like me to give you something for that?"

Paine shook her head no.

"If it hurts, Pai, you should let her." Rikku spoke soothingly causing Paine to open her eyes and look at her. Rikku smiled a little at her somewhat surprised expression. "Yeah, it's my hand you're trying to amputate here." Paine was so happy to see Rikku that for a second she felt nothing at all.

Paine attempted to clear her throat. She had some explaining to do even if Rikku didn't seem mad.

It was funny how quickly her priority had shifted.

"Here is some water." Joyce handed the cup to Rikku. "Drink it slow, Paine." Since Paine didn't want to take anything it was best to try and keep her distracted from the pain she was feeling.

"You want a bendy straw?" Rikku asked trying at everything to make Paine feel just a little bit better. She placed the cup down, and with her one free hand bent the straw near one end. "Here." She brought the cup up and the straw to Paine's lips. When she was done drinking she turned her head away like a baby would. She still couldn't speak. Her body just hurt way too much.

"I'm going to let her doctor know she's awake." Joyce left.

Rikku put the cup down and clasped her other hand over their joint hands. She leaned forward and kissed Paine's forehead twice. "You scared me." She pulled away. "But everything is going to be okay. I promise you that."

Paine kept her eyes glued on Rikku as she spoke the reassuring words. Rikku noticed that they were a little brighter than usual and it almost looked like she wanted to cry.

"It really hurts, huh?" Rikku continued rubbing Paine's arm.

Paine nodded.

"Why don't you want to take anything for it?"

Paine looked over at her right hand where the IV was hooked up then back to Rikku. She cleared her throat a little to explain resulting in her coughing a little.

Rikku shushed her. "Don't strain yourself."

When Paine's doctor came in Rikku left the room for Paine's post op check up and called Yuna and Gippal in the time she was gone. When she reentered, Paine was sitting up and staring oddly at her right hand. When she heard Rikku come in she quickly looked toward the door.

"Princess." Her voice was so raspy and different even Paine made a face at how she sounded. Rikku got back to her bedside and Paine took her hand. "I'm sorry." She managed to say looking up at her.

The one thing that she had promised she wouldn't do, she had done in the most drastic way. She could only imagine how Rikku must have felt when getting the news.

"What were you thinking?" Rikku asked softly.

"I wasn't." Paine cleared her throat a little more. The doctors told her that the anesthesia would make it a little dry. "But I'd do it again."

Rikku smiled and nodded. "I know, just… Try and find something else to hide behind instead of using yourself as a human shield. Yevon, I don't care how badass you think you are."

Paine smiled a little. "Is Big Mac okay?"

"She's fine, Nurse Joyce said she'd bring her and Jade by to see you later tonight." Rikku cupped her hand better. "That sound okay?"

Paine nodded. "Gippal?"

"Pops has him in the guest room."

"How is that working out? He hasn't pretended to be afraid of the dark has he?"

Rikku chuckled a little. "I wouldn't know, I haven't left."

Paine tilted her head. "They said I've been here for like two and a half days."

"My butt really hurts from sitting in that chair."

Paine stared at her. "You stayed this whole time?"

Rikku smiled down at her. "Of course I did."

Paine offered her a weak smile. She was really tired all of a sudden. "So you're not mad?"

"I need you to be okay before I properly tell you how I feel."

"Oh."

"I know why you did what you did, but goodness." Rikku shook her head. "I was so worried."

"They just gave me somethin'." Paine mumbled her eyelids feeling a little heaver.

Rikku watched as she fought sleep. "I thought you didn't want to take anything?"

"It hurt too much, Ri. I'm sorry. I should have…"

Rikku chuckled a little and used her free right hand to cup Paine's cheek gently. "Don't say sorry."

Their eyes met. Paine's had a strange cloudiness to them that was probably the drugs."Okay…"

Rikku moved to sit down, and leaned her chin and arms on the hospital bed's railing. Paine moved her head slowly to follow her movements. "I'll be right here when you get up."

Paine nodded feeling a whole lot safer with those words. She finally gave in to the medicine and closed her eyes.

##

She woke to someone poking at her side. She groaned when she realized it was Elma. "Really?" She managed.

"I'm checking up on you." Elma announced pulling the covers back around Paine and scribbling a few things down on a chart.

Paine turned a little and suddenly felt a small bit of something rise up in her chest. She looked around the room worriedly.

Elma shook her head. "I told her to go take a walk; she's been in here too long."

Paine stopped and looked at Elma. "Em."

"Hm?"

Paine paused. "I'm… That stuff you guys gave me…" She shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want to take anymore."

Elma stopped what she was doing and looked at Paine carefully. She began nodding slowly. "Okay. I will make a note of it."

Paine sighed and rested her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes.

She had to say it, that felt too good.

##

"Gippal… What the hell?"

Yuna could only laugh.

"What? You think it's too much?"

Rikku shook her head. "She can't eat those."

Gippal looked down to the greasy paper bag of pork steamed buns, and cut potato skins. "These are some of her favorites; I thought it would cheer her up a little. I also got her this." Gippal pulled out a plastic tube. "Y'know as a gag gift… Since she can piss standin' up now if she wanted… Wha?" Rikku didn't seem impressed. "Well I wasn't gonna get her flowers, that's dumb."

"Hey, excuse me, I got her flowers." Yuna piped up.

"And they're lovely, but c'mon… It's Paine."

"She'd like them, Yunie." Rikku reassured.

"Tidus said he would stop by tomorrow, I'll remind him not to get her flowers then." Yuna looked down at the vase of flowers then to Rikku. "What are a few girlfriend approved items I should mention?"

Gippal stopped looking into the paper bag he brought for something Paine could eat. "Girlfriend?"

Rikku put her hand to her face. "Yunie…"

"Oh." Yuna put her hand to her mouth. "He doesn't know? I'm sorry."

Gippal looked between them two. "When the hell did this happen?"

Rikku sighed, so much for just keeping it to themselves. "A few hours before she got shot." Gippal looked like he wanted to be upset that he didn't know sooner, but with Paine being in the hospital because of him, he knew he had no right. Rikku had already torn him apart and Cid and Braska had given him a stern talking to. He would be on his best behavior. Rikku nodded at him when he said nothing. "She can't eat those." She repeated. She had long since realized that though at times they seemed to just do their own things, Gippal and Paine were close. Rikku wasn't just the friend anymore though. Gippal was everything she thought he couldn't be, but he was still dangerous, especially right now.

"Gip." Paine smiled lightly when he entered the room.

Gippal smiled. "How you doin' crazy?"

Paine shrugged lightly. "Could be better."

He walked over to where Rikku usually stood. "Your Nazi girlfriend took away my gifts." He shrugged.

Paine shook her head in an amused way. 'She told you and Yuna didn't she?" she ran a hand through her hair.

Gippal nodded and took a seat. "You lucked out big time."

"I did." Damn straight Paine knew it.

"I can't stay long…"

"I know… What is going on?" She was dying for some kind of information.

"I wanted it to be a surprise…"

"You getting clean? Yeah, well I'm surprised alright."

Gippal laughed a little. He was just glad she was awake and feeling a little more herself. "They aren't sure who is targeting me. They also aren't sure how in the hell the list even leaked; it was locked up in Braska's office y'know? Cid's a little pissed, they were fighting for at least an hour." Paine nodded. "They ain't really sure of anything; I'm a little freaked out." He admitted. "Death ain't like a black eye; it's kind of permanent you know." He wanted to get whoever did this. It turned very personal when Paine got shot. Not to mention it had stirred things up on their block. Mackenzie and Jade no longer wanted to play outside. The neighbors were spooked. Whoever did this or had it ordered to be done was messing with his family.

"I heard you're at the Bayla's."

Gippal nodded. "Still gotta work though right? They got Lap detailed."

"Good."

The two fell quiet. Paine watched as Gippal debated over saying something. "I'm sorry, Paine." His green eyes were serious and his tone unstable. "It's my fault I didn't tell you what I thought when I heard about Shu, I—"

"You didn't do anything. I know you wanted to keep me out of that."

Gippal sighed; he just knew Paine never let him apologize. "So what did they tell you?"

Paine sighed as well; she tried to summarize everything the doctors told her. "Gonna be in here for a little while…"

"I brought you a pissing tube…"

"You're an ass."

"Does it hurt? I mean you definitely can't have sex now, right?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Women don't piss out of their actual vaginas, Gippal."

Gippal grew wide eyed. "They don't! You mean there is another hole?"

Paine just gave him a look.

He laughed. "Okay so I mean… What else how's your back?"

"Hurts like hell, they say there is torn muscle tissue and there." She already knew the drill for physical therapy. She would have to be careful lifting things for a while. "The real issue is my side where they opened up to have surgery."

"You gonna be on your feet in time for school?" He knew how important getting her degree was to Paine now. It was all she had, her last chance.

"I hope so." The two continued talking before something on Gippal's person beeped. He stood immediately and promised Paine that he would be fine, and then left.

##

Paine had only realized she had fallen asleep when she woke up. The window in her room was drawn and the usual bustle of the hospital outside her room was quieted. She winced as she tried to sit up.

Rikku was covered with a blanket in the chair beside her bed. The blonde's head was leaning down so her chin was pressed against her chest. Paine smiled a little and looked around for something to mess with her with. On her right she found a new set of flowers and two cards covered in nine year old scrawl. Paine shook her head. She must have slept right through Jade and Mackenzie visiting.

_Damn_

More than anything she wanted to see if they were okay. If they were robbed of that innocence she had known in their eyes.

"Hmhm." Rikku mumbled in her sleep.

The cute noise brought Paine back to her plan. She reached for a box of tissues and lightly tossed them onto Rikku's blanket clad lap. Rikku made a surprised yelp as she jumped up and almost fell out of her chair.

"Go home." Paine said quietly.

After realizing what Paine had done Rikku narrowed her eyes at her in the dark. She was actually having a very nice dream about Jelly Bean world, thank you very much.

"I woke up, I'm okay, now go home and lay down in a bed."

"Paine Kerrigan." Was all she said.

Paine sighed. She had always heard about parents using your full name when you were in trouble, but never girlfriends. "You won't miss anything Ri, I promise I won't die or anything while you are gone."

"You think this is funny? You could have gotten killed, or paralyzed, Paine." Rikku said as she adjusted herself in the seat to sit perfectly upright.

Paine was quiet. She guessed they were doing this now. "Mackenzie would have gotten killed, or paralyzed, she's just a kid."

"I'm not saying you should have let it happen—"

"What are you saying then?"

"I'm saying you need to be more careful!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"I know you are."

"So then why are you so mad at me?" Paine asked finally. She didn't understand. Why didn't Rikku just get that Paine had a limited future, but Mackenzie, she could do whatever she wanted. She had her whole life to live. The trade off was simple. What was wrong in thinking this way?

"Tell me how you would feel if I did the exact same thing?" Paine looked away. "Or do you just not feel the same…"

"You know I care about you. You know how I feel, why is this even relevant?"

"Because Paine, when I look at you I'm not angry, it's not anger you get, it's… It's…" Rikku shook her head. "Forget it. Just don't do something like this again because, I don't want to not get a chance to even leave the damn airport with you."

Paine stared at Rikku for a second wondering why that sounded so familiar. She sighed to herself. "You talked to Lai."

Rikku deflated a little bit and rubbed her face lightly. She was so tired of these hospital chairs. "Yeah."

"Does anyone keep what I say to themselves?"

"What?"

"You told Yuna and Gippal… And?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "I only told Yuna, Paine." Paine didn't say anything; she just stared ahead of her at the closed room door. "You don't believe me?"

Paine sighed heavily. They were both cranky and the little bickering would only continue unless one of them just stopped. Her girlfriend was obviously too stubborn so Paine decided she would. "Ri, no it's not that. It's just that…" She looked at Rikku. "I'm just tired."

It took a minute for Rikku to see what Paine was seeing. "Me too." She didn't want to fight, or stress Paine out.

Paine nodded slowly. "I woke you up so at least one of us could get decent nights sleep."

Rikku pulled the thin hospital blanket over her shoulders as she spoke. "I don't wanna leave you here."

"I'll be fine." Paine tried. "You're not leaving are you?"

Rikku shook her head no. "You had major surgery Paine, and I don't know if you've noticed but you can't even—"

Paine nodded quickly. "Yeah, I've noticed."

Rikku chuckled a little. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about; it's a good that…"

Paine shook her head again. "Please, Ri. Can we not talk about me peeing into a bag? It's weird."

Rikku nodded sensing that maybe she was still trying to get used to it. Rikku had been aware for days now, Paine had only found out today "… It's not very sexy…"

"No, no it's not." The two shared a small laugh and Paine just smiled at Rikku after. It was the first time she had laughed since she came out of surgery. Usually something like this would slip her mind. "Fine, stay, but I warned you."

Rikku tried to get comfortable on her chair. "What, do you transform into a werewolf at midnight? I think I would have noticed by now." She adjusted her pillow. "Plus you're not very hairy…"

Paine laughed a little then winced. "Mhm." The room fell quiet and for a second in time things felt normal again, normal for them at least. They were sharing a space and it felt good. Paine watched as Rikku dozed off. She looked so uncomfortable and Paine felt bad. So she threw a second tissue box at Rikku.

"It was cute the first time yuh did it." Rikku rubbed her side. "Now you're just being a meanie."

Paine scooted over the best she could without causing herself too much discomfort. "C'mere."

Rikku hesitated when she realized what Paine had done. Wasn't she naked under there? "Aren't you naked under there?"

Paine chuckled and blushed in the dark. "No, I uh… Was earlier but… I've got underwear on and…" Okay so maybe this was a bad idea. "You just look uncomfortable."

"Oh." Rikku inched closer to the bed. "I don't wanna kick you in my sleep and y'know…"

Paine nodded quickly. "Right, yeah."

Rikku bit her lip in the dark. "What did they say about the incis—"

"It's healing well." Paine answered a little faster than she liked. "Um…"

"We can put the pillows."

Paine nodded. "We could do that."

Rikku nodded again. "Yeah, let's do that."

Silence.

"I kinda can't get out of bed…."

"Oh!" Rikku nodded as she looked around the nearby closet where she had stashed a few the night Yuna stayed with her. She grabbed one and then the one she was lying on earlier. "Here, maybe move on the other side? So if you do wanna turn in your sleep or something you don't roll on your bandages." Paine nodded as it made sense and moved to her far left. If they could manage a twin size bed, this would be no problem.

Paine helped Rikku put the pillows between them and watched as she crawled onto the bed with her and then hopped out again. She started to unbutton her jeans. "W-what are you doing?" Paine asked.

"I've got boy shorts on, see?"

Paine nodded noticing the black shorts. They were a little shorter than your average short shorts but they were definitely better than regular panties.

"I don't know how you can sleep in jeans." Rikku shook her head as she climbed onto the bed and smiled over the pillows at Paine. "I'm sleepy."

Paine turned on her good right side and hid her wince as she leaned over to place the smallest kiss on Rikku's cheek. "Me too."

Rikku smiled as Paine went to lying back on her back with a sigh, she reached her right arm over the pillow and rest it gently on Paine's stomach, her fingertips could feel the thick bandage work starting at her left side through the hospital gown. "I'm so happy you're okay." She mumbled sleepily. She felt Paine take her hand.

"I'm so happy you're here." Paine whispered back after a minute of silence. She was fairly certain Rikku hadn't heard it, but that was okay with that. Something told her that Rikku knew.

##

Early the next morning when Joyce came into work her first stop was checking on Paine. She opened the dark room quietly and was a little surprised to see that Rikku was not sitting in her chair fast asleep. Maybe she went home? It wasn't until she looked to the hospital bed in the middle of the room that she noticed Paine wasn't alone.

She understood now. She got why Rikku didn't eventually leave like the rest of Paine's friends. Joyce remembered seeing Rikku once or twice a few weeks ago, but she just assumed that she was one of Gippal's "Friends".

Joyce smiled softly at the two, Paine had moved to lying on her right side with her arm wrapped around Rikku's midsection. Rikku's arm rested over Paine's and her other arm was sprawled out from under the pillow. There was a pillow on the ground at the foot of the bed, and another in between the lower part of their bodies.

She hated that she had to wake Paine to take her dye so she could go into testing early. She looked so at peace and comfortable.

"Paine" Joyce gently moved her shoulder. Paine woke with a quiet start and looked around in a confused manner before remembering where she was and what had happened. She glanced at a sleeping Rikku, who was still holding onto her arm.

"Sorry…" She mumbled to Joyce as she pried her arm away and sat up.

"No, no it's fine; it's good to not lie on your back all the time." She handed Paine the glass of gross tasting organ dye to drink. Joyce watched as she downed it all in one shot. "Are you thirty? How are you feeling?" She whispered.

Paine nodded. "I'm pretty thirty, and my back still is sore…" She thought for a moment. "When can I get up and walk around?"

"We'll try later today if you like."

Paine nodded and went to lie back down. "Thank you."

"No Paine, thank you. I don't know what I would do if I lost my baby. She's all I have." Joyce still didn't feel like it was enough.

"So we're even then."

Joyce smiled a little. She had helped Paine out a lot when she first got off of drugs, with a job, and food, she was really the only person who believed she could do it back then, and for that Paine was fine with a little back ache.

##

_**One day later**_

"… and then I'll run home and shower and…"

Paine watched as Rikku ran about the room gathering her things and putting them in her bag. She nodded once when Rikku turned to look and see if she was paying attention. She and her father were going out to lunch today and for some reason the Al bhed was on edge. Paine had just woken up a little while ago and was now waiting on someone to bring her breakfast. She hadn't had much of an appetite with all the dye and the pain she was feeling. Her body just felt sore. Like she didn't stretch before a work out and Wakka had kneed her hard in the back. She pushed herself to walk around a little yesterday and that had gone… Well enough. Gippal had come to visit and joked that her kidneys would just fall out any second. It was good to have him there though. He had been pleasant, but Paine could see the stress lines on his forehead and the bags under his eyes.

"…Yunie wants to go see Lulu today too, oh I hope she is okay…" Rikku had her large handbag sitting on the chair beside Paine's bed and was rummaging through it. "…You know how that would go…"

Paine nodded again just to nod. It wasn't that she didn't want to listen to whatever Rikku was ranting about; she just had so many other things on her mind.

"Alright Ms. Kerrigan." A snowy haired nurse came in with a tray of food for Paine and a tall glass of water.

They had her drinking insane amounts of water.

"Thank you." Paine said before the woman left. She made a small face. While she was sleeping for the first two days the doctors had her on nutrients through an IV, then she was restricted to clear fluids only. They were trying to get her urinating to test calcium, potassium, and sodium levels affected by the tear the bullet had caused. Even though she had lost her appetite she was still looking forward to at least feeling a little like a normal person.

"What?" Rikku asked noticing her look after she asked her a question and Paine didn't answer. "You're not hungry?"

"Not for this." Paine pushed the tray forward like a child would. "I have two kidneys, one that works fine, why can't I have something with a little more… Color?"

Rikku chuckled. "Pai." She stopped rummaging in her bag. "What did they say about high protein foods and stuff?"

"They said that for the first couple weeks I should stay away from it… Rikku look at this though. Are those supposed to be grits?" Paine used her plastic spork to push around the bland looking mound.

Rikku laughed again. "I know what you want."

"What?"

"Bagels!" Rikku watched as Paine closed her eyes and nodded as if reminiscing. She giggled. Paine's mood had been getting better, though she still had her moments. Rikku would let her have them. She would be cranky too if a bullet had torn at her back like it did Paine's.

"I would sell my other kidney for a bagel right now." Paine said seriously as she pushed aside her spork and reached for her glass of water.

"You can have half a bagel, no cream cheese." Elma walked in with Paine's chart in hand. She smiled at Rikku who nodded trying to remember the no cheese part. "How are you feeling today, Paine?"

Paine shrugged. "Still hurts."

"Scale from one to ten?" Elma pulled out her pen.

"6ish"

"Is it pain like when you first woke up or are you sore?" She walked closer to the bed and pressed down on Paine's stomach. "Can you turn on your side?" Paine winced a little did as she was told.

"Yeah, sore."

Elma nodded and then scribbled something down. "Your scans came back looking good. The left kidney has some scar tissue from surgery, but we are really just concerned on the ureter tubes health, I know doctor Suntory talked to you about possible infection with the catheter."

Paine nodded and Rikku took a seat. "Yeah." Once Elma was gone Rikku turned to Paine.

"How did you sleep?"

"Better."

Rikku smiled. "Yeah, me too."

"Tonight though…"

Rikku chuckled. "I know, I know. I have to spy for you." Gippal wasn't telling Paine anything, everyone was so tight lipped and she knew why. They wanted her to heal. She just felt useless though. She admitted that to Rikku last night while they cuddled.

"Good information too, Rikku, not what everyone was wearing."

"Are you mistaking me for Yunie?" Rikku raised an eyebrow and pointed to herself.

"… Or what you all ate for dinner."

Rikku laughed. She sat her purse in her lap and pressed it to her chest as she spoke. "Or… You can just ask Pop, or Uncle B."

Paine shook her head. "Not yet."

"Is there a method to this at all?"

"No. Not really, just going with my gut."

Rikku shook her head. "I will call you okay? Eat something please." She stood and looked around before leaning down and placing a peck on Paine's mouth.

"I don't want it." Paine pouted.

"Paine…"

"Rikku…"

Rikku only smiled down at her. "You're feeling good enough to complain I see."

Paine shrugged. "Yeah well…"

"I'll be back after lunch okay?"

Paine nodded. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she was a little sad Rikku was leaving. "Drive safe." Paine added as Rikku moved from her bedside toward the door.

Rikku looked over her shoulder and smiled before returning to Paine's side. "Stop it." She said as she grabbed Paine's hand.

"What?"

"Giving me that sad look. I'm not abandoning you." It only occurred to Rikku after she said it that that's what Paine was used to. Being abandoned.

"I know." Paine tried to fix whatever look was giving her away.

Rikku leaned down. "One more for the road." She whispered before kissing Paine gently she smiled in the kiss when Paine kissed her back.

It was her new favorite thing.

Kissing Paine.

##

Rikku hummed to herself as she turned around to re-enter the hospital parking lot.

She was like, the best girlfriend ever.

"Yunie." She spoke into her cell phone as she found a five minute parking space. "I'm just gonna drop Paine some breakfast and then I'll come pick you up so we can see Lulu."

Yuna was on the line looking at her clothe options for the day. "Sounds good, how is she this morning?"

"Better. I'm gonna stay home tonight though. See what's going on at the house. How's your step mom?"

Yuna chuckled. "I'm hanging up now. Call me when you get here."

Rikku laughed. "Okay." She hung up her phone and made sure to grab the small brown paper bag that was sitting in the passenger seat. She locked her car and jingled her keys as she entered the hospital and headed toward Paine's room.

##

Paine watched her move about the room slowly. "So?"

"I needed to see if you were okay. I heard and I…"

"Your brother has something to do with this." Paine called her out.

Dona only nodded.

##

"Hey Joyce." Rikku smiled when she passed the nurses' station.

"You aren't sneaking her in anything too bad right?" She asked noticing the Brewster Bagel bag in Rikku's grip.

"Me? Nooo."

"Uhhuh."

##

"Paine…"

"No!" Paine winced. "All four of us could have died. You don't understand that though. You just do what you want for what you want. Your fucking selfish.—"

"You're not listening to me!"

"I don't have to listen to a god damn thing you say."

"He didn't know!"

"He knows now right? He's not doing shit. They tried to kill Gippal. Does he not remember who helped you guys when your parents died? Who was there? Shuyin is dead, Dona… Dead. You better come in here with something else. Because this fake ass I miss whatever you thought we had bullshit is really getting old." Paine clenched her side and winced a little. She narrowed her eyes delivering the next line with a venom that had been absent for a while. "You were just a fuck, an easy fuck."

Dona shook her head. "You're making a mistake."

"The only mistake I made was ever thinking that maybe you could see passed the worst five years of my life."

Dona said nothing. She turned and was a little surprised to see Rikku standing in the doorway. She smiled gently at the somewhat stunned look on her face. "Don't hurt her, you'll regret ever letting her in."

Dona left the room and Rikku just stood there.

Paine hadn't noticed her until she looked up from rubbing her hands against her face. "Rikku…"

Rikku stepped into the room and placed the brown paper bag down on the side table to Paine's left. "Elma said no cream cheese so I got you marmalade…"

"Rikku…" Rikku looked at her.

"Sometimes I don't recognize you.' Seeing Paine angry still surprised Rikku. It was such an extreme from what she knew.

"Me either." Paine admitted.

"Are you okay?"

Paine nodded. In that moment things were fragile. She didn't want her voice to break them.

##

"Ladies." Paul Moore smiled at Yuna and Rikku as they climbed down the grand staircase. "Leaving already? I didn't even know you were here."

Rikku always liked Lulu's dad. Though Lulu looked more like her mother she obviously had her father's eyes. Her mother had bright blue eyes, which caused Lulu's to brighten a little in contrast to Paul Moore's warm eyes. His smile was familiar, and he was a little quiet like Lulu, but he loved his daughter and it showed in everything he did. Surely he would understand.

"We've been here for hours Mr. Moore." Rikku chuckled.

He scratched his head and shrugged. "Lulu never tells me these things. I would have made you all something to eat."

"Nonsense Pa, Glenn is in today." Lulu spoke from the top of the stairs. "He made us salads."

Glenn was their personal chef.

"Oh."

"How are you sir?" Yuna asked.

Paul laughed lightly. "Yuna I've known you since before you could spell your own name…"

"Yunalesca is quite complicated." Yuna joked.

Rikku laughed. "Nice, Yunie."

Lulu had made it down the stairs. "I'm going out." She said after placing a hand on her father's forearm. "Tell mother for me will you?"

"Why do you have a phone, Lulu?"

Lulu smiled a little. "So I know when to ignore her calls."

Paul nodded with a little laugh. "That's why I have one."

"I heard that." Ellen Moore said as she waltzed into the room; the true epitome of glamour, even in her simple slacks and blouse.

##

"I mean it must be hard." Rikku shook her head as she and Yuna drove from visiting Lulu. "And she's so calm about it…"

"Her parents really have no idea."

"They will in a little bit hm? When do you think she will start showing."

Yuna shook her head. "A few weeks, but even then it wouldn't be noticeable."

"Man…" Rikku shook her head. "At least she found a place…." Rikku glanced at her cousin when she got no answer. "Yunie?"

"It' just… It upsets me."

"What?"

"Wakka is a great guy, and it's not like their too young. I mean…"

"Lulu's what? 23?"

"Exactly, and to some that still may be young, but they have known each other forever and. It's just not right that this special thing can't be treated like it should."

"Well Yunie that's why we're here right?"

"I suppose."

"I'm learning that it doesn't really matter if they are actually related to you to be considered family. I mean, I feel like Lulu is just another one of us. She's not gonna be alone, Yunie."

Yuna smiled. "You're right."

##

"What part of don't ask her to marry you yet did you not understand?" Paine asked as she stared at the diamond engagement ring in Wakka's hands.

"I'm not gonna do it now ya? Crazy? Everything is finally moving along the way it's supposed to."

"Why do you have it then?"

"Cause, Dr. P, no matter what happens I know she's it for me ya?"

"Lulu…. Really?"

Wakka laughed. "I know it sounds crazy but… Anyway I charged up my credit card for this baby."

"What about the actual baby?"

"I'm handling that." Wakka nodded as he tucked the ring back in the velvet box and stuffed it into his pocket. "We hardly get to see each other now that I got this new job with the city."

Paine nodded. "You have to do what you have to do."

"I know. I just I wanna be ready."

"Can you be for something like this?"

Wakka leaned back in the chair. "I dunno, ya? I don't know…"

##

"Hey." Rikku smiled when Paine picked up her cell phone. They had finally given it back to her.

"Hey."

Rikku put her paintbrush down and went to lay back on the crimson loveseat. It was quiet evening at her house. Gippal hadn't returned from work yet so there was no real spying to do. "How are you feeling?"

"A little sick." Paine confessed.

"Did you eat the whole bagel, Paine?"

"Yeah." She said sheepishly.

"Your tummy can't handle all of that."

"I didn't get shot in the tummy, Rikku."

"Mhm you know what I mean." Rikku smiled. "Are you alone?"

"I am." Paine raised an eyebrow. "Are you? What are you up to?"

"I'm in the attic, Gip, isn't home yet so I can't spy on him… What are you wearing?" Rikku asked with the biggest grin on her face.

"…A hospital gown."

Rikku laughed. "Ooh."

Paine shook her head. "You're ridiculous." She laughed a little at Rikku, and then shook her head again. "How was lunch with your father?"

"We didn't go today."

"Why is that?" Rikku had been so nervous.

"I spent more time than I thought at Lulu's and he was called in to the office by Uncle B."

"No hard feelings?"

"No… Although I admit that I wanted to talk to him…"

"You seemed nervous this morning."

"I was going to talk to him about us…"

"Oh."

"Oh?" Rikku sat up. "Oh?"

"Yeah, just… Oh."

"You don't mind that he knows?" Paine shrugged and Rikku could just tell she did. "He's not going to know what to do with us, he'll probably make all these rules about what we can and cannot do while you're here. He'll probably sit you down and talk about safe sex and a whole bunch of other awkward things."

Paine laughed at her rambling. "Well in that case let's wait to see if this lasts before we tell him." Rikku didn't say anything. "Rikku?"

"You're such a jerk." She finally laughed. "You do know that you're stuck with me right?"

Paine laughed. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Aww."

Paine smiled then remembered something. "Today with Dona…"

"It's okay, I understand. I just wish you didn't work yourself up so much."

Paine took a breath of relief. "I would never talk to you that way. I just… It's the only way she would listen."

"We would be in a very bad place if you did." Rikku warned. She knew Paine had a bit of a temper, and she let a few things slide just because she knew the Auron situation wasn't easy for either of them. Now though, now things were different.

"I understand."

Rikku sighed loudly. "I don't wanna be serious anymore. Will you just talk to me, Pai?"

Paine got as comfortable as she could get. "Yeah, Princess." She knew the last couple days had been mentally stressful on Rikku like it was on her body. The Al bhed had to have her head on straight, she had to be calm and collected and serious. It probably took a lot out of her because she was always so carefree, and goofy. "Hm…" Paine tried to think of something to make Rikku smile. "Since you already told the whole world about us." Rikku giggled. "Wakka came to visit today and I told him that I was going out with the most amazing person ever…"

Rikku laughed. "You're full of crap you prolly were like…" Rikku cleared her throat. "Yeah. I let her go out with me."

Paine laughed. "Is that how you think I sound?"

"It's sexy."

"It's weird."

"Yeah well fits the owner quite well."

"I know you aren't talking. How many pounds of jelly beans did you eat today?"

Rikku laughed more. "Um, none so there."

It had gotten pretty late and the nurses had threatened to take Paine's phone away so she could get some sleep. She had hid it under her pillow until they left the room though. Gippal had come back from work but Rikku was too sleepy and too caught up in her conversation with Paine to remember to listen to what he and her father were talking about downstairs.

"I can't wait till you can go outside. When do you think they'll let you?" Rikku mumbled. She had migrated down to her room and was now wrapped up in her warm blankets. The only light in the room was from the night outside, and from the hallway light that peaked softly from under her closed door.

Paine had to admit that she was pretty damn sleepy. She wasn't even sure of what she was saying to Rikku. "Mm, I dunno, Ri."

"I wanna take you out on a date." Rikku pouted. "I never got the chance to."

"We will."

"I'll bring you flowers too."

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to. I want to make you feel special, like the, how you made me feel. You know?" Rikku yawned quietly.

"Mhm…"

Rikku moved around a little in her bed. "I miss you."

Paine smiled to herself. "I miss you too, Rikks. I actually had to find things to do today."

"I'll be over there tomorrow."

"You're my girlfriend." It was a random thought that Paine meant to keep to herself, but let slip when she thought about the last week or so of her life.

Rikku giggled. "Yeah."

"So like a relationship…. Like talking about feelings and stuff?"

"And stuff, yeah."Rikku knew Paine was two seconds away from falling asleep on her.

"Oh." Paine said cutely. Her eyes were already closed.

"You ready to go to bed, hm?"

"…"

"Paine?"

**AN: I hate how in movies if someone wakes up from having surgery they are all happy and talking normal lol I've had surgery and that's not the case at all. I would also like to point out that this chapter was difficult to write because "Paine being in pain" had me slipping up. I hope you all enjoyed it though. Leave me a review and let me know what you thought :)**

**KathleenDee**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: This fast update is brought to you in part by the common cold, and reviewers like you :)**

**Thank you**

**Chapter Twenty Three**

"Does it hurt?" Mackenzie asked with wide eyes, her little hands gripped the side raining of Paine's hospital bed as she leaned forward to get a better look at Paine.

"No." Paine lied.

"Does it make you sleepy? When I come here momma says you're sleeping."

"Yes, it makes you very sleepy."

"You were bleeding blood."

"Yeah but, you have a lot in your body, and you can make more. I just lost a little."

"Oh." Mackenzie nodded. It was a Saturday morning and she was finally able to come see Paine awake and talk with her. "Did they put a band aid on it? A big one right? Can I sign it?"

Paine chuckled.

##

Rikku was having a late start to the day. It was around ten in the morning and she was still in bed.

_**So what's this talk about?**_

It was a text from her brother, Kirill. He had texted her around nine and she was now getting back to him.

_**I have no idea.**_

_**Is he and Leblanc getting married?**_

It was a question Rikku hadn't even begun to think about.

_**They're not together anymore; I think she's with Uncle B now.**_

_**Wow… What else have I missed?**_

Rikku bit her lip as she typed in her response.

_**A lot, I've missed having my big bro around.**_

_**Everything okay?**_

_**Now it is :)**_

_**So what are we doing when I get there? You wanna check out a shop with me?**_

_**You know it!**_

She finally dragged herself out of bed and showered. She was nervous about telling her brother about Paine, more so than telling her father. Cid knew Paine, he knew what she had done for Rikku and he knew that she could be trusted. Brother didn't know any of this, and Brother was in fact her older brother. As she dried her skin Rikku wondered what he would say, if he would like Paine, should she even tell him about her?

She shook her head at her thoughts. Paine was her girlfriend; he at least had to know she existed. Then there was the whole Auron thing, surely he would notice his absence. Rikku pushed her thoughts aside. She still had time to think about this. Maybe she could talk to Paine and Yuna, see what they said. Today Yuna was going to head over to the hospital after her yoga class with Tidus.

"Gippal left early this morning." Cid announced when he walked into the kitchen. Rikku was seated at the breakfast nook with a bowl of cereal and the Saturday style section folded in half. "I wanted to talk to him about something…"

She could tell her father was fishing. "Like what?" She gave in.

Cid shrugged. "Just something about Paine."

Rikku chewed her cereal slowly and eyed him carefully. "You could ask me…"

"Well you've only known her for how long?"

"Yeah, but she tells me things. We're close…" Rikku watched as he made himself some tea.

Cid shrugged again. "You do spend a lot of time at the hospital with her." He reached for the honey and a small demi spoon to mix it in. "They should get you a bed there."

There was no need if she was sleeping with Paine.

"That's because we're gi—"

Cid waited.

"Really good friends." Rikku nodded looking back to her breakfast.

"Hm."

"Hm?" Alright something was definitely up now.

"Nothing, nothing, does she like flowers? I was going to come and visit today, Braska and I." He moved with his cup of tea to sit across from Rikku.

Rikku had known her father her whole life, so she knew when something was on his mind. "Why?"

"Why?" Cid seemed confused.

"Yeah, she doesn't have much longer to stay there, she can get up and walk around and stuff…. Why now?"

"Well I've been busy trying to figure out what is going on. I'm not a cop Rikku, I'm a lawyer. I have people searching. I don't want to show up empty handed."

"Paine doesn't like flowers. I mean she likes them, but she's gotten so many." Rikku scooped up the last bit of cereal and then paused before drinking the sugary milk. "I was going to bring her cookies, but, you can take my idea."

"Why don't we go together?" Cid proposed.

Rikku got up from the nook and washed out her bowl. "Sure, fine." Cid nodded to himself and then sipped on his tea. "So what news do you have for her?"

"Who?"

"Paine?"

His daughter was no fool. Cid grabbed the "boring" section of the newspaper sitting on the far left of the table. "Braska and I think it's best if we talked to her about."

"So you're not going to tell me?"

"I'm sorry Milan." He shook his head.

"You can't be stressing her out with this stuff, I know a week and some has passed but she's still—"

"I know." He said calmly. "No one will be stressed out."

##

"Where's Jade?" Paine asked after she and Mackenzie went through just about every channel on the small black TV in a high corner of the room.

"She's in daycare, her mom and momma got into a fight." Big Mack was seated on the edge of the hospital bed. Paine had pulled down the railing on that side so she could dangle her legs over the edge.

"She doesn't want Jade to play with you anymore?" Paine asked feeling a little sad for her.

"I hope not, she's my best friend."

"Who me?" Gippal asked as he entered the room. "What's going on Big Mack?"

"Hi Uncle Gippal! Look at Paine's cast… look!"

Paine winced as Mackenzie jumped onto the other side of the bed and pulled up her shirt. The hospital finally thought it would be fine if she wore a thin shirt and a pair of her basketball shorts.

Gippal laughed at the look on Paine's face then stepped closer to look at the artwork done there in green sharpie marker. "Yeah, that's pretty awesome; you and Cid's girl should get together." Gippal put down the rolls he had brought Paine. "You know she's got like a room just for painting and shi—" He glanced at Mackenzie. "Stuff."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out a while ago. What are you doing up there anyway?" Paine asked after glancing at the rolls. Why was everyone bringing her food? Just the other day Tidus came by with a potato salad…

Gippal shrugged. "I got lost."

Paine gave him a look. "Mhm."

"So what you guys up to?"

Paine shrugged. "Watching TV I guess." She turned her attention to Gippal fully. "This place is driving me crazy."

He laughed. "Yeah well it's better than out there."

"What's going on?" Paine asked giving him a concerned look. Mackenzie was well into a show she had found which gave them enough privacy to be honest with one another.

Gippal shifted on his weight. "Cid's coming by later."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Is this how we're doing things?"

"Nah, P, it's not like that. I just rather him say what he's gotta say, and then I'll come back and fill in the blanks."

"Why is that even necessary?" She was growing frustrated with him. "You can tell me now…" Just then her phone near her bed began to buzz; it was Rikku calling for the morning. "Whatever." Paine said to Gippal before reaching for the phone. Gippal sighed and sat next to Mackenzie.

##

"Morning Morning." Rikku said cheerfully as she gently pulled her foot off the breaks. Her father was driving in front of her like an old man.

"Hey, good morning."

"How yuh feeling? How did you sleep?"

"Okay, I slept fine. You?"

"Pretty good, my brother texted me this morning and all…"

"What did he say?"

"He just wanted to prepare himself for when they get to Luca, he doesn't know what to expect and neither do I. Pops thinks he's crafty—" Rikku was getting honked at from behind. She threw her hands up. "E's cunno so Bub'c tnejac mega yh umt myto, fryd tu oui fyhd sa du tu?"

Paine chuckled. Rikku speaking in Al bhed was definitely one of the hottest things Paine had ever heard, but it was also hilarious to listen to her go off on some rant and not even realize she was speaking in another language. "Road rage this early?"

"Pops is gonna make me late for my good morning kiss!"

"I'm not going anywhere. Mackenzie and Gippal are here though."

"Alright so just five Mississippi's then?"

Paine laughed.

"You feeling up for our walk still?" Rikku asked. Just the other day Elma and Joyce agreed a little fresh air was good for Paine, and everyone else. There was a small patch of green right beside the hospital that was reserved for that very reason. It was owned by the building and a nurse was always out there just in case something happened.

"Yeah, what's it like outside; can I get away with shorts?"

"It's nice outside, but y'know, put on long sleeves."

"Alright."

"So when I come you wanna go? Did you eat breakfast yet?"

"Yeah I've been up for a little while now. I'll be ready and everything."

"Alright, bye Pai." Rikku smiled as Paine said goodbye.

##

Paine began to get up out of bed. She chuckled at how both Mackenzie and Gippal were quiet watching cartoons. "You guys don't have TV's? I thought you were here to visit me?"

Gippal waved her off. "Relax a minute, this is almost over."

Paine steadied herself and walked over to a chair in the corner of her room where a duffle bag sat with her things. She pulled out her NLU hoody and pulled it over her head. She winced a little at the stretch. Although she wasn't feeling the way she was in the beginning of the week. She still felt a little sore. Paine pulled the dark blue hood over her head. She really needed a hair cut soon. She knew this because Rikku asked if she could braid it the other day.

Nurse Joyce came in just then. "Where do you think you're going?" She asked with a smile as Paine slipped on her sneakers.

"For a walk." Paine answered calmly. "No more running I swear." She put her hands up.

Joyce shook her head and then looked over at her daughter. "Mackenzie, I'm taking an early break so I can bring you by your grandmother, come on, say goodbye to Paine."

Mackenzie pouted. "But Momma…"

"She has to rest."

"She's gonna go outside and play, I wanna do that too." Mackenzie jumped from her sitting position.

"No one's going to play; you won't miss anything I promise."

"You'll come visit me later, Big Mack." Paine reassured.

"Promise?"

Paine nodded. "Of course." Mackenzie dragged her feet over to Paine and wrapped her arms around her torso in a hug. "Bye." She sounded miserable and it only made Paine chuckle.

Once Mackenzie and Joyce were gone she looked over at Gippal who was now lounging on his back in her bed watching the TV. "We're not done talking about this Gip, you gotta let me help." Paine said as she slipped her cell phone into her big front pocket.

"No."

"Do you know Dona came to see me?" Paine asked trying a different angle.

Gippal picked his head up and glanced at her curiously before resting it back against the pillows. "Not surprised, she's kinda in love with you."

Paine rolled her eyes. "No, she isn't."

"Alright well she likes you at least."

"She said some things that I bet you don't know."

"Since when did you start listening to her?"

"Since you stopped listening to me."

Just then the door knocked and Rikku poked her head in. "Hya guys!"

"Sup Cid's girl."

"Trent get out of the bed." Cid shook his head as he followed in after Rikku. Gippal hopped up quickly. Rikku and Paine were smiling at one another before Cid demanded Paine's attention by speaking. "How are you feeling?"

Paine nodded. "Well. Better than yesterday and the day before."

"Good to hear. Milan and I brought you something." Cid motioned to his daughter who Paine had just noticed was carrying a white paper bag.

"Hope it ain't rolls." Gippal piped up.

"Nope, this is way better." Rikku smiled. "Pai, I know you can prolly only eat one of these every twelve hours or something, but we brought you cookies from that place? The bakery by my house." Rikku gave Paine the bag and smiled at the look on Paine's face.

"Oatmeal Raisin." Cid nodded.

"Right, cause we didn't know if you could have chocolate." Rikku added. "You like 'em? Eat one."

"Yeah I do. Thank you." Paine had been craving something sweet for a little while now. "You're right, I can probably only have one today."

"At least you won't get fat." Rikku nodded.

"Rikku." Cid shook his head. Paine had lost a little weight.

"What?" Rikku shrugged. She chuckled and then looked at Paine's body, and then remembered where she was and looked at Paine. "You know what I mean."

Paine took a bite of one of the gooey cookies, they were still warm. "Mhm."

Rikku tried not to stare at her lips as she chewed either. What was up with her today? She took the bag out of Paine hands and rested it on Gippal lap. "Guard those with your life."

"You can count on me." He saluted before reaching a hand in the bag.

"Hey!" Paine protested. Those were _her_ cookies that _her_ girlfriend got for _her_.

"Its okay we got a little extra." Rikku reassured.

"Who's to say I'm not going to eat all of those?" Paine asked seriously. Rikku and Gippal laughed. Just then a loud beep could be heard.

Cid pulled out his cell phone and frowned. "Excuse me guys. Paine we'll talk when I get back right?"

"Sure." Paine nodded.

"Yeah us too." Rikku grabbed a hold of Paine's forearm and pulled her along. Gippal didn't seem to mind one bit. He had cookies and cartoons, what more could a guy ask for?

##

Paine held Rikku close as she kissed her good morning. One hand was around her waist and the other was a little higher on her back. Rikku's were gripping lightly on Paine's hood. "Now it's a good morning." Rikku purred as they pulled apart.

"Agreed." Paine breathed. She slipped her hands from around Rikku and motioned toward the small park entrance.

For a few minutes they just walked side by side in silence. Paine was a little slower than her usual city girl stroll which was fine with Rikku. She was in no rush. They soon started talking about little things, the weather changing, school, how Rikku wanted a puppy, silly things like that. Paine was grateful for the escape from the serious.

"How about Hugo?" Paine asked she chuckled at how Rikku automatically cooed at the name.

"Hugo W. Bayla."

"What's the W for?"

"Winston of course." Rikku shook her head at Paine for not being able to read her mind.

"My mistake." Paine thought for a moment. "You don't even have time for a puppy Rikku."

"I'll make time, Paine."

"I just think you should wait on it."

"You never like doing anything spontaneous,"

Paine laughed. "Spontaneous is a road trip, going to the beach or skinny dipping. Buying a puppy? That's like adopting a kid, or buying a house."

Rikku laughed and leaned her weight a little on Paine. "We should so do a road trip."

"See I would do that. I need to get out of this place for a little while." Paine said as she admired the small breeze that had passed through the crowded city.

"After the summer we've had?" Rikku nodded. "I think you're right."

"Where do you wanna go, Princess?"

Rikku thought about it for a second or two. "Gagazet Falls isn't too far away."

Paine shook her head no. "You in the Ronso cold? You'll just complain the whole time."

##

"It's somewhere near campus actually, the places over there are cheaper."

Paine nodded. "When does she move?"

"Whenever she tells her parents." Rikku shook her head. "I don't get it."

"What's there not to get?"

"They don't even know Wakka, how can they possibly guess that he is bad for her?"

Paine shook her head. "He isn't rich Rikku."

"That's not supposed to matter though."

"Tell that to her parents who worked so hard so that she could have or do whatever she wanted. Wakka is a waste to them."

Rikku shook her head. "It's not right."

"Welcome to the real world."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Paine sighed. "It means what it means. Why do you think Cid didn't like me at first?"

"Uh, you kind of have a record. He's a lawyer, you—"

"Alright, alright." Paine shook her head. "I'm just saying that that's how people think. I know because I thought certain things about you before I got to know you." Paine shrugged. "That's just the way it is, Rikku. Until Wakka proves them wrong they are going to think she's throwing her life away." Rikku just sighed and continued walking in silence. Paine looked over at her. She hated seeing her so sad about things that were out of her control. She hated her seeing her sad period. "Let's take a break for a second." Paine motioned to a nearby bench.

"Are you okay?" Rikku asked immediately. Paine nodded. They sat down on the bench and Paine moved closer to Rikku. "Hugo Winston Bayla…" Paine thought aloud causing Rikku to smile.

"Definitely a good one month anniversary gift, hint, hint."

Paine rolled her eyes and Rikku laughed. "Yevon."

##

Paine chuckled at Rikku as they walked down the hall to her room. "There better be fucking cookies when I get back."

"I kinda want one now."

"I'm not sharing with you." Paine feigned seriousness as she held a door open for Rikku.

"But I bought them."

"Yeah but you gave them away."

"You're really not gonna share?" Rikku gave Paine her best pouty face.

She was adorable, but Paine was strong willed. "No."

"You would let your girlfriend starve?"

"Starve? Really Rikku?" Paine chuckled. "Fine, but one cookie... No, a half a cookie."

Rikku laughed placing a hand on Paine's shoulder. "Geez, Pai."

"I'm serious about my food. Especially when I haven't eaten anything resembling human food in a whole week."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You ate half a sandwich yesterday."

"And spent the rest of the day feeling sick." Paine reminded.

"I'm telling you, you should have let me rub your tummy."

Paine shook her head. Oh she was all into Rikku rubbing anywhere on her, but she had been feeling so bad she could only curl up and try and sleep it off. "I didn't want to throw up on you."

"There they are." Braska smiled at the two. Paine pulled her hood off of her head out of respect for older people in the room. "Well your good enough to walk right? How long do you have to say in this place?"

Paine went over to sit on her bed. Gippal was still relaxing watching TV in the corner. "Not long I hope, few more days…"

"Where are you planning on going after that?" Braska asked curiously. Cid stood so Rikku could sit down in his chair. She mumbled a "thanks Pops." As Paine shrugged.

"Home."

"It can't be too safe there." Braska rubbed his chin and shook his head. "You can always stay over with us. I'm sure Yuna would be more than happy to have you about the house."

Paine shook her head slowly. "Thank you, but I'm not going to let what happened to me keep me away from my own house."

Braska nodded, he could respect that. "Well I suppose you were just collateral damage. You should be fine as long as you don't rile anyone up." He turned to Cid. "What do you think?"

Cid crossed his arms. "I can't tell you what to do, but I do feel that staying away from that area would buy us time."

"I'll be fine."

"If they know Gippal, they know you." Cid reminded.

Gippal turned his head from the Tv. "He's right Dr. P."

Paine didn't say anything for a while. "Is there anything else you guys wanted to tell me?"

Cid and Braska exchanged looks. "Yes." Braska spoke up. "We went over the security tapes from my office, nothing came up. However I just received word that someone was arrested…."

"Who?"

"Does a Barthello Pilgrim ring a bell?"

Both Gippal and Paine looked at each other.

There were rules, rules deeply embedded in them that were making this hard. You see if they said yes, yes they knew him, the rules were broken, and then they were the real traitors. If they said no, well then that meant they were still in the same position, time would not move forward or back, Shuyin would have been killed for nothing, Paine would be stuck with the outrageous hospital bill, and Gippal would still be looking over his shoulder.

Oh but the rules….

It was how they knew they were safe if they did something and someone saw. It was how they knew that when push came to shove they would be fine. It was this merit of the streets that had them hesitating. It was all they knew, and like a child traveling to a completely forgone place for the first time the future was scary.

This was it and they both knew it.

They had to grow up, they had to leave their damaged pasts behind and do the right thing. Right? Or was the right thing a false sense of security created by these upper class suits who had no sense of struggle. Not real struggle. Nothing that would have you inducted into this thought process.

Bart had moved up, he was still a dealer and had little real influence on shipments, but they both knew they were fucking with addicts' supply. Shit started getting real weird around the area when there was a shortage.

Paine had almost forgotten that he was In the manufacturing stages now. That bred a whole lot of problems for them.

Rikku watched the silent discussion between them. She didn't understand either of their hesitation. This was the bad guy right? The missing link to Suyin's murder, and potentially for the men after Gippal. If they knew him, which she knew they did, they had to say something. Screw the code or whatever; this was a matter of more life and more death.

Paine nodded acutely. Anyone else would have missed it, even Rikku. But Gippal saw. He knew that look. They might as well go all in. Too much had already been hurt. "Yeah." Gippal spoke up. "_I _know him."

He owed her _I_

She saved his life.

##

"Can you give us a minute?" Paine asked her girlfriend. As soon as Braska and Cid left with what they needed Gippal began to pace.

Rikku searched Paine's face and then nodded. She stood. "Alright."

"Thank you." Paine tried to ease the look on Rikku's face. It was very serious, it made her look older. Paine watched as she left the room. She groaned. This was never ending. This stress, this summer. It was never fucking ending. "What did we just do?" She asked her best friend.

"I'll tell you what we fucking did, we just fucked ourselves, that's what we did."

"So what the fuck? We said something…" Maybe playing the ignorant card would bring birth to some enlightenment.

"Paine don't be naïve. You and I just fucked with Bart's whole operation. Who's to say he didn't kill Shu himself?"

"He wouldn't."

"How do you know? Drugs change people, drugs and power? Forget it. We ain't dealin' with the same guy. He finds out Shu is defected." Gippal made a gun shape with his hand. "Caps him, and then sends fucking Boobs with legs over here to try and deter you…. Fuck!" Gippal sat down and then stood up and began to pace again. "He's got the motherfucking list Paine…."

Paine soon found her sitting position to stressful. She stood. "How did he get it though? How?"

"Higher up fucking hands it to him, says get rid of these. He sees Shu on the list; he sees me on the list... Not sayin' it was personal."

"It never is." Paine shook her head. Never in her life had she wanted out more than right now. She ran her hands through her hair.

"We need an out." Gippal shook his head. "I'm going to go think about it. I'll call you." Paine stopped him.

"Do me a favor and stay uptown."

Gippal sighed heavily. "Yeah, listen for my call, P." He couldn't stay in one place, he had run out of floor to pace.

##

Paine didn't say anything, and Rikku didn't ask.

She didn't even want to fucking know.

Paine just had that look on her face that said she was going to do something stupid.

Rikku knew this look well.

The glow from the TV reflected off her face as she sat up with Paine that night. They were both seated on Paine's hospital bed with their backs leaning back against the shifted mattress and pillows. Paine had her right arm around Rikku's back and wrapped it around so her hand was resting innocently on her right thigh.

It was distracting

But not as distraction as their silence.

Rikku tried her best to ignore it. She reached her hand into the plastic sandwich bag of jelly beans she brought earlier.

"Can I have one?" Paine asked. Rikku nodded and handed her the small bag. Paine used her left hand to take a few of the ones she knew Rikku could care less about.

If she touched the pink ones it would be war.

"She's so dumb; it's obviously her brother's friend…" Rikku shook her head. "She gives blondes a bad name." She pointed with her pinky finger at the screen before putting it back to her lip in anticipation.

…

"Yeah." Paine agreed.

A commercial came one and they just sat there pretending to be interested in carpet cleaner.

"I didn't do anything y'know… I know you're thinking I did, I didn't." Paine finally said.

Rikku turned to look at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about when Gippal and I spoke…"

"When you asked me to leave."

"I didn't want you apart of it."

"I didn't think you did anything."

"So why is it so…?" Paine shrugged. "Never mind."

"No, tell me."

"It's just really quiet."

"I'm watching TV, Pai."

"Oh, well in that case." Paine rolled her eyes.

Another commercial ended.

"I did think you did something… Or were going to do something very stupid again." Rikku admitted.

"I knew it."

Rikku chuckled lightly.

"I'm not, Ri. I just worried about what's going to happen."

"Won't you come stay with me?" Rikku asked completely forgetting her show and focusing on Paine.

Paine sighed. "Princess." Her right hand reached up from Rikku's thigh and rubbed her side gently.

She liked the way Paine's hand felt there. "You won't have to worry or anything. Let me be your sugar momma."

Paine chuckled. "You gonna be sweet on me?"

Rikku grinned as she leaned forward and brushed her lips against Paine's before kissing them fully. "I can be very sweet." She promised.

Paine halted her hand movement just so she could put all her thought and energy into getting her mind back on track. "Very very tempting Bayla. But what about your dad?"

"Who cares what he says."

"It's _his_ house."

"You're _my_ girlfriend."

"That _he_ doesn't know about."

"I think you are just making up excuses. You know I'll be up worrying about you."

"Rikku." Paine groaned softly. "That's my home."

"Well move or something."

Paine shook her head no. "I wish I could, but with what time and with what money?" Rikku only sighed. It was all she could do. Paine raised valid points. "C'mon." Paine said softly. She pulled Rikku a little and the blonde easily fell into place leaning back more and resting her head against the side of Paine's. Paine comforted her by hugging her shoulder closer. "I know I don't have the best track record—"

"No, you definitely don't."

Paine chuckled. "Let me finish."

"Fine, fine, go."

"I think I have an idea."

Rikku shook her head and wrapped her arm around Paine's midsection making sure not to press on her side where thinner bandages were. "Oh boy."

##

She watched as he rubbed his chin.

"So?" Time was of the essence.

Baralai shook her head. "Paine, does Gippal even know you talk to me?"

Paine looked away.

She was always a big picture kind of girl. Minor details always slipped her mind. "Don't worry about him."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Look at me and say that." Paine couldn't. "Great." Lai sighed. He knew either way Paine would drag him into this, he had learned from experience back when they were kids. Gippal would have the outrageous idea, Paine would somehow think it was genus and then he was forced into all sorts of things. Usually just keeping watch because he wasn't as crafty as the other two. But it was always Paine who managed to convince him that it was a solid idea, even when she didn't think so.

##

"He's going to ask you to marry him."

She didn't seem surprised. "I know."

"What are you going to say?"

"I suppose I'll say yes, I do love him dearly, even if he did get me like this…" Lulu shook her head lightly. "I'm not surprised you know."

"We're okay." Paine agreed. She told Wakka things she didn't tell Gippal, it was just different.

"I saw Lailac leaving. What is going on there?" Lulu had just shown up to visit Paine one day. She said Yuna and Rikku were moving too slow so she just went ahead of them, they were supposed to arrive together. Paine didn't question her motives, because Lulu Moore always had them. They would come out soon enough, Rikku had just texted her that they were on her way.

"He's helping me with something."

"You are in trouble again?" Lulu asked raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"Too soon to tell."

"I've never heard of someone so careless."

"Have you heard of a condom?"

"You need to do something with your hair. Either its short or it's long, this… I don't know why Rikku lets you get away with it."

This coming from the woman who let Wakka walk around with his hairstyle looking like a shoopuf licked it, and it just stayed that way.

Paine sighed loudly and Lulu had to admit, she was pleased with herself for having annoyed her into silence.

So they sat there, and waited.

"Gee don't let us stop the party." Rikku joked when she walked into the quiet room with Yuna not far behind. "Hi Lulu, hey Pai Pai."

"Hey you two." Yuna greeted.

Rikku walked over to Paine and laughed at the look on her face. "Fix your face huh?" She gently grabbed her chin and pecked her cheek. "You're gonna be outta here tomorrow!"

Paine said nothing; she did however smile for Rikku to let her know she really wasn't in a bad mood. She was excited about getting the hell out of the hospital finally, but she was still nervous.

Rikku rested her large purse down by Paine's legs and found a chair.

"So we have a proposition for you both." Yuna smiled.

Paine and Lulu exchanged a look.

Yuna glanced at Rikku excitedly.

"Okay, so since Paine is getting out of the hospital tomorrow…" Rikku looked back to her cousin.

"We both thought it would be really nice if we all went out to dinner, all of us."

Paine opened her mouth to protest but Rikku was one step ahead of her. "But then we realized maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea, so…."

"So we decided that we should just have a small get together. Family dinner style, no dads. Just all of us. Rikku and I will cook, you just show up hungry."

"We really wanna do it because we just want everyone in one place, safe, and happy, and full."

Yuna nodded. "We can all be ourselves." She glanced at Paine and Rikku and then Lulu.

"Yeah." Paine agreed after some thought. "I'll be there."

"Same." Lulu nodded.

The afternoon was spent talking about what the menu would be; something simple that that Yuna and Rikku could do that everyone could eat. Then they talked about school, Lulu was glad she was done, and the rest of them talked about what kind of classes they were thinking about taking. Lulu was the first to leave, then Yuna announcing that she needed to go to the grocery store.

"Maybe you should invite Lai." Rikku thought aloud as she gathered her things to leave. She had a busy day ahead of her tomorrow and needed to get up early. She couldn't do that if she stayed up all night cuddling with Paine, plus Paine had a check up the next morning before she was to be discharged. They both agreed it would be better if they just slept separately.

Paine shook her head no. "And ruin Yuna's family dinner thing by having to break up a fight between him and Gippal? No thanks."

"It's really that bad? So how exactly are you going to…?"

"Reintroduce them?" Rikku nodded. Paine shrugged. "I was going to meet Lai for coffee—"

"You can't drink coffee, not for another month."

"It's just an expression. Rikku, I know."

"How?"

"How what?"

"How is it an expression?"

Paine blinked. "Like going to a coffee house, babe. I'm not going to drink coffee, but you say, I'm going to coffee. It's shorthand…" Now Rikku was giving her a weird look. "What?"

"You just called me babe."

"I did?" Paine tried to remember what she had said. "No I didn't."

Rikku nodded. "You so did."

"Fine, so what if I did. I can do that right?" Paine was fighting a blush now. "S'not a big deal." She looked away making Rikku smile even wider.

"Okay."

"Anyway." Paine cleared her throat. "I was just going to show up with Gippal and uh… Rikku what?"

"Nothing nothing." Rikku tried to contain her smile. Paine raised an eyebrow at her. "No, nothing, go on."

##

It was like any other morning.

Rikku got up and stretched herself out and then just laid there with her head in the pillow for a minute wondering why sleep couldn't be the majority of your day and then you just woke up for six to eight hours.

Then she remembered what today was. Rikku felt a mix of emotions as she sat up and unknotted her blonde tassels by running a hand through it a few times. She was more than excited and relieved that Paine was getting out of the hospital today. She had been there for two weeks, they had been together for two weeks too, and yesterday before she left Paine had slipped and called her babe. There was plenty to be excited and happy about. Rikku wanted today to be stress free for her girl, but she was beginning to realize Paine's life was anything but.

She could change that though. More than anything she wanted to be the person to change that.

Rikku liked the new closeness between them. It was like finally their words could be accompanied with actions. Sometimes actions alone were enough. When she looked at Paine it made her feel like dancing or something, and when Paine touched her, she wanted to melt like ice cream on a hot city sidewalk. Rikku couldn't get enough of her. All this made her worrying even more intense. Then there was her father and his fishing questions, then there was her brother, and then there was the issue of school. She had spent more time than ever in her attic since meeting Paine. Soon her pencils weren't enough, she was using oils and watercolors, and all kinds of things just for the hell of it, it made her feel free. Then she and Paine went on their first date and it opened her up to a whole bunch of other outlooks…

With that thought Rikku looked to her nightstand where a little rubber duckling sat. She reached for her cell phone which was sitting nearby and texted Paine.

_**Good morning, my sweet :)**_

And then that was another thing. Paine just let her be as annoyingly cute as she wanted and didn't say anything. Rikku was sure she would roll her eyes when she got the text, or shake her head, but that was just it. Paine let her be one hundred percent Rikku.

She didn't try and control what she though, how she acted, or anything.

Rikku got out of bed and dragged her feet into the bathroom. She made sure to keep her phone on the sink just in case Paine texted back. Half way through soaping up her skin she heard a faint beep coming from behind the shower curtains. She dried her hands with her towel and reached for the cell phone.

_**Morning Gorgeous, I'm ready when you are.**_

Paine had changed too, Rikku only got a glimpse of what Paine was like before everything when they first met, and even then she didn't buy any of that tough girl act she was so good at. She wasn't like that, she was just misunderstood.

Rikku dried her skin and then started putting on lotion, was she was done with her whole morning routine she dressed in khaki shorts and a blue spaghetti strapped top. She was going to milk the summer for all it was worth for as long as she could. School was right around the corner. Rikku threw a bunch of things into her purse before going downstairs.

She poked her head in the den when expecting to find her father. Instead Gippal was lounging watching the cooking network and eating grapes. "Fucking hacks, look at how shitty that plate looks." He commented when he noticed he wasn't alone. He hadn't slept in two days. This was the only thing keeping him stable.

Rikku glanced at the TV and then back to him. "I thought you were working early and then meeting Paine for coffee?"

"She can't even drink coffee, I don't know what her deal is."

"Maybe she just wanted to hang out with you."

"We don't do coffee."

Rikku gave up. "Well I'm gonna go get her and drop her home and stuff."

"Alright Cid's girl, caa oy"

"Try not to steal anything." Rikku joked and Gippal laughed.

"The hell am I gonna do with all this useless rich people crap in hell?"

##

"Come in."

Rikku pushed the door open and smiled. Paine was dressed in skinny jeans and a random dark gray martial arts shirt. She was standing in her socks with her duffle bag open and ready for the clothes she was folding carefully.

"Ah, you look normal." Rikku smiled. She placed her bag down on the bed beside Paine's duffle bag. Paine touched the small of her back as she leaned to kiss her chastely.

"Thanks." She smiled. She was feeling good today and the kisses only made her feel better.

Rikku reached a hand up and played with her hair a little. "Paine look how long it is."

"I know." She groaned. Everyone usually underestimated the length of her hair because it was always styled. Now though it was just getting out of control. Paine continued packing the small bag. "I'm getting it cut today."

Rikku marveled at the silver of her hair. "Silver… You have silver hair, Paine." Now that it was down she could better see the difference.

"I know, thanks."

Rikku chuckled. "Not like old person silver, it's like dark silver… You can see it in the light way better." Rikku stopped messing with her hair. "It's just really pretty." She explained. "How low are you going to cut it? You should get Lulu to do it, she cuts my hair."

"I wouldn't trust her with a blade to my head."

"Oh c'mon." Rikku took a seat on the hospital bed and dangled her feet.

"Just enough so I look like myself." Paine explained.

"Mhm, so what's the word?"

"Well I already ate breakfast; Joyce removed the catheter this morning, which hurt like a bitch." Rikku giggled. "So now they are just waiting for me to use the bathroom on my own and we can split."

"Well hurry up and drink some water, we got things to do."

"I have a very strong bladder apparently." Paine shook her head and motioned to the water bottle by the bed. "I filled that up three times, nothing."

Rikku laughed, "Maybe there is a leak."

"Yeah, that would suck." Paine threw in the small stack of get well cards and zipped up the duffle bag.

"It would. You know you've been in here as long as we've been together?"

"Two weeks? Shit that's it?" Paine shook her head as she moved to sit beside Rikku She smiled, Rikku looked pretty today. "I don't know… Could have sworn it was more like two months."

"Ha, I'm just glad you are feeling better, two months is way too long to be dealing with you being sick and cranky."

"I wasn't so bad."

"Paine—"

"What?"

"—In my ass."

Paine laughed. "That's a new one."

"Really? No one has ever thought that that would fit?"

"Hey watch it, before I refuse to go to that dinner tonight."

"Oh, you're coming weather you like it or not."

"Says who?" Paine challenges playfully.

"Say's me."

"Yeah yeah yeah."

##

"Let me carry it for you." Rikku said as she took the duffle bag out of Paine's hands as they exited the hospital. Paine didn't want to admit that she was struggling just a bit because of her back.

They had given her pain medication

Which she promptly chucked into the nearest trash.

"Thanks, Ri."

"No problem." They got to Rikku's car and got inside. Rikku was searching for her keys when she caught a glimpse of Paine rubbing her head. "You okay?"

"Huh?" Paine turned and looked at Rikku. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Alright, you let me know if anything hurts, we can turn right around. I won't be mad or anything."

"I'm alright." Paine smiled gently to prove it.

Paine's mind was just working through what the hell was going to happen later that day. She was kind of forced into the situation, but she really should have done this earlier.

Like before Auron, early.

"I have to meet with Yunie at around two something…" Rikku spoke to herself as she drove. She mumbled something about dry cleaning.

Paine just smiled to herself. She was real adorable when she was just doing her own thing in her own little world.

"Wait a minute wait a minute." Rikku turned and glared at Paine.

"What!"

"What time do you plan on getting ready for dinner?"

Oh

Paine knew she should have thought of this beforehand. "I was gonna get my hair cut, do some things around the house, meet up with Lai and Gip…."

"Po drah ed'c bycd veja!"

It took Paine a second to translate. "No, no it won't be. I'll make it on time."

"Y'know one of the main reasons for having this is for you."

"You're yelling at me and I'm not even late yet!"

"Yet! Not late yet, Paine."

Paine shook her head in disbelief. Was this what Cid was talking about when he said she was a handful? One minute she's all cute and innocent and the next she's yelling in Al bhed.

"What the fuck, Rikks?"

"I'm just saying you have a knack for forgetting certain things."

"What have I forgotten lately?"

"I don't know, I forgot! But you forget things."

"No, I think you just forget to remind me. Then all of a sudden you remember right when I'm supposed to do something."

"I'm not your calendar whore."

"Oh my yevon, turn the car around. I wanna go back."

"Just don't be late, in fact, be early."

"I have shit to do today."

"Me too, you don't think I have stuff to do today too?"

Paine just stared at Rikku for a second. "What did you have for breakfast?"

"What?"

"What did you eat for breakfast?"

"I'm not answering that!"

She had a handful of jellybeans before walking out the door.

"You're crazy." Paine just shook her head.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well you're a… A… Fat faced meanie, who hates happiness and would be late to her own funeral!"

The car was silent.

"You really think my face is fat?" Paine asked self consciously.

Rikku glanced at her and spoke without missing a beat. "No baby, you're gorgeous."

**AN: Rikku and Paine just need a break to be with one another in my opinion. Next chapter is the reuniting of the Crimson Squad! (Minus Nooj) And will Paine be late for dinner? There is only one way to find out! Review and stay tuned!**

**KathleenDee**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Paine was startled awake with a hand over her mouth. Crimson eyes glared at swirly green.

Gippal removed his hand when he was sure she wouldn't say anything. He motioned to the small Al bhed wrapped up in Paine's arms. Paine looked down at her girlfriend and sighed. She was deep in sleep now, and wouldn't even realize she was gone until she woke up. Paine planned to be back by then though.

Gippal left the room just as quietly as he came, leaving Paine to maneuver out of her sleeping position. Paine slipped her legs out first, and then her body. Her arms would be the tricky part since they were wrapped around Rikku and Rikku had a firm hold on her embrace.

Had they always slept like this? Paine wondered as she got her right hand free but fought for her left.

Rikku made small noise that made Paine freeze after she yanked her left hand away. She waited perfectly still until the youngest Bayla merely rolled over and snuggled with her pillow. Her light snoring was soon heard letting Paine know she could continue getting ready. She had slept in black tonight, Rikku hadn't noticed. Paine pulled her dark jeans on over her sleeping shorts and a dark hoody and beanie. She glanced at a sleeping Rikku one more time before quietly leaving.

Gippal was leaning against Rikku's car smoking a cigarette when Paine stepped outside. He just looked at her.

They still weren't on speaking terms.

They stood there waiting for Baralai. The night was so dark that it was bright, and the moon had hidden itself behind some clouds. Paine watched as Gippal pulled out another cigarette and smoked it. He was nervous, she knew he was, hell she was too. But they had no time for nerves. Paine checked the time and sighed to herself. She could go back inside; she could crawl back into bed and fall asleep. It would be very easy to. Who wouldn't want to sleep beside an angel like Rikku? She had been particularly sweet that night which made Paine feel really bad about doing what they were about to do. She had even said she was "so happy I get to you call my girlfriend." Before falling asleep which made Paine feel even worse. But Rikku wouldn't understand, no, Rikku would not approve, Paine knew this, and if she had been awake when she left Paine probably would have seen what an idea this was, and stayed.

But she wasn't awake, and Paine was glad. She needed to do this last thing.

Just then a beige old school Charger crept up the block and came to a quiet stop in front of them. They got in the car without a word. The old familiarity of it felt weird. Gippal sat in the backseat still smoking, he really wanted Baralai to say something about it.

He didn't though. He merely glanced at Paine when he noticed she was looking at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm just surprised."

"Surprised?" Gippal asked. "He'd suck a dick if you asked him."

No one said anything.

##

The first stop was Shuyin's old place. It still hadn't been touched by his mother or long time hook up, Lenne. Word was that she just left town when his body was found. Never the suspect though, she loved him way more than he probably loved her.

Baralai waited in the car as Paine and Gippal keyed into his apartment and started looking around. Before they did what they did they needed to be sure that Bart was responsible.

For a while the heavy sighs of the worn floorboards was all that could be heard as the two figures looked in every possible location for proof.

"When were you planning on telling me that your boy was back in the picture?" Gippal asked bitterly as he rifled through a stack of papers on Shuyin's desk.

"You're my boy…" Paine said simply.

It was true, Gippal had been there through it all, and though sometimes he wasn't the best influence, or the smartest, tactful guy, she was really grateful that they were both changing for the better together. If it had come down to it, she would have had to cut him from her life too once she was healthy enough. She was glad she didn't have to do that though. He was her family.

"But I'm the last fucking one to know anything. The whole Dona thing… Cid's girl… Now this shit?"

"Because look at how you act?" Paine shook her head at the scene he had caused in the coffee shop.

"He fucking betrayed us—"

"He betrayed _you_." Paine stopped what she was doing and looked over at Gippal's silhouette in the dark. "And he didn't even do that, I don't get what your problem with him is?"

"You don't?" Gippal stopped what he was doing too. "The fucker is sitting downstairs with a Charger while we have to drive fucking beat up pieces of shit. How can I respect him any when I know how his Pops got that money? How?"

Paine shook her head at the bullshit excuse. "That's just a rumor."

"Yeah well dear ol' Mr. Monty has been crooked for a long time in the New Yevon branch, you gottta be fucking kidding me to not know that."

"Gippal, but that isn't Lai."

"You know him then right? You guys are best fucking pals." Gippal knocked over the stack of papers he was looking through in anger. "I don't like him, and I don't fucking trust him."

Paine crossed her arms. Now he was just acting like a big baby. "Then why are you here?"

"Why?" Gippal asked stepped closer to Paine. "Because I trust you, now if we get fucked over then that trust is lost for good y'here?"

"We won—"Just then the loud unmistakable sound of tire peeling out on pavement could heard.

"What the fuck?" Gippal asked himself as he and Paine rushed to the window to see Baralai driving away quickly. Gippal just looked at Paine. "You were saying?"

"Shit." Paine mumbled. They were about to pull away from the window when they saw two black jeeps pull up and park. Just then Paine's phone began to vibrate.

"You guys gotta get out of there." Came Baralai's hurried voice.

"Not shit. Lai, where the fuck did you go?" Paine asked angrily as she and Gippal continued searching in a very fast manner. They knew who was here and for what, but they couldn't leave empty handed. They could hear the faint sound of car doors being slammed closed. "Gip, just grab all this shit." Paine motioned. Her heart was racing, she could actually feel her pulse in her neck. If they got caught…

"I'm around the corner. It's a one way street, I saw them coming up Braiden and fifth, come down the back entrance."

"And this too." Paine pointed to a laptop sitting on the couch near an over flowing ashtray and a few wrapping papers.

"You better have a plan." Gippal mumbled as he gathered everything in his arms. This was how they used to do it. If they were stealing candy from a store, Lai would wait outside with their bikes, Gippal would stuff his pockets and Paine would lead the way. She looked rather innocent back then and even now she was a bit faster at thinking on her feet than Gippal.

"I thought you fucking left us." Gippal said as they jumped into Lai's car. He knew how to handle this ride Gippal had to admit that as Lai shifted gears and eased onto another street.

"No." Was all Baralai said as he drove.

Both Paine and Gippal were panting from the run down several flights of stairs. Paine checked the time as she ran a hand through her now shorter hair. "Fuck." She chuckled.

"Feel good?" Gippal asked with a little grin of his own. He always thought that ex druggies could appreciate the rush of adrenalin better than anyone else. Paine looked at him from the front seat and nodded.

"Where to now?"

"Bart's."

##

"Pai?" Rikku asked the room sleepily.

Paine was washing her face in the bathroom. Upon hearing Rikku she rushed to pull off her street clothes to be back into her pajamas. "Yeah, Princess?" She pushed the bathroom door opened a little to prove that she was here, and had been the entire night.

Rikku rubbed her eyes at the introduction of light. "Oh, I thought you were gone or somethin'." She moved around on the bed a little. It was cold, but that didn't make sense because Paine was right there.

"No, I'm here."

It wasn't a lie, she was here _now_.

Rikku nodded to herself and pressed her cheek into her pillow. Something suddenly crossed her mind and she picked it up to ask. "Are you okay? You're not hurt right?" She began getting out of bed. "You ate a full plate tonight and…"

"Yeah, no, Rikku I'm fine, stay in bed I'll be right there."

"Okay." Rikku mumbled weakly before going back to sleep. She woke to Paine putting her arms around her. Rikku wrinkled her nose. "You smell like cigarettes."

"Do I?" Paine asked.

Rikku nodded with hooded eyes "You can't smoke with you thing Paine… Yevon sometimes I think you just don't car—"

Paine chuckled lightly as Rikku fell right back to sleep mid sentance. She breathed a sigh of relief and got comfortable.

If keeping Rikku safe meant keeping her out of the loop, then she would do it. Paine didn't have to think twice about it. At some point this would come up, and she would have to explain herself, but for now she was just going to let it be.

Sleep hadn't come as easy as she had hoped though. Paine felt a severe mixture of anxiety and pride. They were taking this into their own hands, which was how she firmly believed that things should have been done in the first place, however this method came with some great risks. She just hoped there was something on the things they lifted from Shu's place. She didn't know what the outcome to all of this would be. At coffee Lai spoke of a potential raid, but that was if they had enough evidence to bring to Cid and Braska. It wasn't like she didn't know where all the drugs were brought in; hell she was pretty sure even Mackenzie knew, it was no secret. The only problem was that they had one shot and one shot only to catch the head honcho. Now that was something she didn't even know. Hopefully Shuyin's stuff had a name or something.

Before she knew it, it was morning, Rikku always liked to keep her blinds open so Paine watched the morning brighten up the room from a hazy blue to a golden yellow, the morning birds chirping outside stilled Paine's worrying. She was happiest here, with her arms around Rikku. Paine had had a lot of time to think while in the hospital. She thought a lot about how lucky she had become, and how she should start doing something with that luck instead of letting life just happen to her. A year and a half ago she couldn't afford her rent, food, nothing all because when you were high that stuff wasn't important, and Paine was always high. Over dosing was probably the best thing to have happened to her. She couldn't go on living like she was. Either death, or a rebirth of some kind was necessary, and that's what she got.

Sometimes she still wanted to use, especially with all this new stress. The night before the trial against Auron had to be her lowest point, but she had had some low points before and even after. This wasn't just a thing you got over, you didn't just wake up cured and happy with the mediocre feeling the real world gave you. Paine was dealing with a lot, too much sometimes, and now that she couldn't even drink? She had a lot of growing up to do very fast.

She had a motivation though, she had a real reason. Not just for herself, but for Rikku. While in the hospital Paine had realized that her fears had changed. She was more afraid of disappointing Rikku than anything.

Rikku just seemed to know, she just knew when something was on Paine's mind, or when she felt a certain way. Paine had prided herself on being unreadable, but Rikku read her everyday like it was nothing. She just seemed to know when Paine began to overstress too, and like a pro disabling a bomb she calmed her down with such ease and finesse that had Paine wondering if it was written on her face or something.

"Relax, hm?" Or she would smile at Paine in that way that said. "I'm happy you're here." Or she would touch Paine's forearm, or if they were in a room with many people she would move to sit next to her. Just in case Paine needed someone to calmly sit her back down, or someone to hold her back from leaving and doing something stupid.

Paine only prayed that she were everything Rikku was, to her. And if she wasn't she would try harder, because that's what you did for your people; you tried your hardest.

Rikku coughed quietly as she woke up. "Mm." She mumbled.

It was morning, around 9 or so. She guessed from how the light reflected on the wooden panels of her dresser. For a second she just laid there getting used to having her five senses again. She smiled a little when she felt that Paine was still spooning her. Sometimes the closeness made her blush, feeling Paine's breasts pressing against her back was sure to do things to a girl. Today though, it made her smile. She would dream that she had never met Paine, that she was still that shell of a person she was, Auron was still around making her feel more and more worthless with every encounter. It was such a scary place to be in that when she woke and felt that warm body heat beside her or Paine's arm carelessly tossed around her in the other woman's sleep, it made her smile, for she was no longer a shell, or at least she was filling up just nicely. And when Paine was in her own bed, Rikku would smile anyway, because the world just seemed brighter.

She could hear her, which meant she was awake.

Rikku reached her left hand up and behind her to caress Paine's cheek softly. Paine exhaled and held her tighter as she nuzzled the back of her neck. "Good morning." Paine mumbled.

Rikku pulled her hand to herself and rested it on top of Paine's arm. Though the air around her felt unstable like something was wrong or was in the process of being wrong, The blonde knew that in this quiet moment everything was right. "Morning."

They laid there for a good 15 minutes not saying anything; both relishing in the fact that they were so close to the other.

"How did talking to Gippal and Lai go? You never did say." Rikku said recalling the night before. Dinner had been a huge success, everyone made it out including Nooj, Elma was the only one who had to work and turned down the offer kindly. Paine had showed up half an hour early looking as cute as ever with her new haircut, and Lulu and Wakka didn't argue once, it was a good night.

Paine's voice was quiet, she didn't need to be loud, but Rikku suspected if she did, she would still sound muted. "We almost got kicked out of the coffee house a few times. I don't know if it went well. Gippal was pissed."

Rikku frowned at her tone of voice. "He won't be for long though."

"I know…"

"Are you still sleepy, you sound tired?" Rikku could feel her nod. "Go back to sleep then."

"I wanna be awake if you're awake."

Rikku rubbed her left hand on the arm that was snuggling her. "Aw." How about I go back to sleep too, you have nothing to do today right? Let's sleep in."

She did have to look over that stuff they found with Gippal. But right now Rikku's voice was making her realize just how sleepy she really was. Paine sighed quietly and nodded as she closed her eyes. "Alright." Rikku said something about setting an alarm for a few more hours and Paine nodded again. "It feels okay." She answered when Rikku asked about her back. She felt herself chuckle as Rikku continued saying something. "Princess, you can't keep talking if you want me to go to sleep." Rikku mumbled. "I'm not being a meanie…"

Paine woke up lying on her stomach clutching a couple pillows a few hours later. She yawned and began to get up. Rikku was nowhere to be found but Paine didn't have to look far after brushing her teeth and getting herself together for the morning.

Rikku turned her head when she heard someone coming up into the attic. She smiled at Paine's appearance. She was wearing baggy dark purple sweat pants that hung a certain way at the hip, and a one of those plain gray V-necks she liked so much.

Paine looked around the room; it had changed a little bit since the last time she had been in here. The attic window was cracked open to let the warm summer air come in and dry the many canvas' leaning up against the walls. It was easy to see that she had been inspired, but by what? Some paintings seemed manic with happiness, and others, well, they just confused Paine. These had to be recent to be drying still. Was Rikku sad? "Hey." Paine greeted before going to relax on the crimson loveseat that was thankfully clear.

"Sleepyhead, you awake now?" Rikku asked as she went back to what she was doing. She tossed a glance to the paint stains on the floor and smiled.

She missed having Paine in here with her.

"I don't know." Paine answered truthfully. She tried not to lean too much on her back when she lay down.

"Why are you so sleepy? Was it the Al Bhed food last night? Wakka was practically falling asleep at the table."

"No, but it was delicious. Did I say thank you yet?"

"Nope." Rikku peaked at Paine from behind her easel.

Paine smiled a little and stood; she walked over to Rikku and stepped behind her as if looking at what she was doing over her shoulder. Rikku's smile grew as she felt Paine's hands around her waist. She was learning that Paine was rather affectionate when they were alone. It was a pleasant discovery to say the least. She didn't know why she was surprised though, Paine was a lot of things when they were alone.

"Thank you."

"You're so mushy." Rikku chuckled as Paine just held her close like that. "What happened to tough Paine?"

"She got shot." Paine said honestly.

Rikku frowned. "She did."

"I was really scared." Paine admitted against Rikku's shoulder.

Rikku nodded. "That's never happened before?"

"I've been stabbed…."

Rikku quickly turned around and looked at Paine. "What? When?"

Paine chuckled a little. "With a fork."

"Yevon, Paine." Rikku shook her head. "Gippal?"

Paine nodded. "We were little, but, no, that was the first time… Being in there like that." Rikku searched Paine's eyes for more. "When I OD'ed, I wasn't conscious, I had only learned what happened when I was okay…. I knew I wasn't okay, I knew I was losing blood. I knew that I promised things I shouldn't have…"

"Pypo…"

Paine's lips tugged into a little smile. "So I'm gonna be a little mushy for a bit, that okay?"

Rikku nodded and smiled at her. Paine hesitated before putting her hands above Rikku's hips and leaning in and kissing her lightly. These kisses were still new, they still felt like the first one, and Paine never thought she would be the one initiating most of the time, but she couldn't help it. Her lips were always really soft and warm, who wouldn't want to kiss Rikku? Rikku wrapped her arms around her neck since her hands were busy holding her paintbrush and artist's palette. They kissed slowly until the chilling sensation of something cold sliding down Paine's neck caused her to pull away, she reached a hand behind her only to return it in front of herself with blue fingers. She looked from her hand to Rikku, who was wearing a very sheepish grin.

##

"Yeah." Paine nodded. "Did you sleep at all?" She asked looking over at her friend.

Gippal sipped on his coffee. It was weird how homey the Bayla house felt to him. Especially for the small mansion it was. He went exploring the first night and found rooms that he doubted were touched in years, mainly near the downstairs area about the formal dining room. He could lift something and no one would know. Probably get a pretty penny of it too. Cid had always had his back though, even when he clearly did the wrong thing. Now that he was getting to know the lawyer's family more, he didn't even feel right thinking this way.

Two things were different about today though; Cid wasn't here, and there was a huge husky sleeping in the den for some reason.

"I haven't slept in days." Gippal said honestly. "That's why I need you to look at this." He motioned to Shuyin's laptop that was opened to a document.

Paine was drinking a glass of milk for breakfast. "I didn't sleep last night either. I just fucking laid there thinking."

Gippal ran a hand through his spiked hair messing it up some. "Baralai call you?"

"Look at this, you remember his name." Paine teased.

"Don't get too fucking excited. I'm still pissed at you both, it's just I left some of those folders in his blood money car."

Paine laughed. "Stop calling it that."

"That's what it fucking is."

"So you still not talking to me?"

"No, I just need your help with this shit." He motioned to the computer.

"Mhm." Paine nodded. Even though she knew he wasn't lying, he probably wasn't going to say what's up to her for a while. She felt like the whole thing had worked itself out, or it would soon enough. They had worked too well together last night for it not to. Just then Rikku came into the kitchen and started making tea for herself.

"Morning." She smiled at the two sitting at the breakfast nook.

"Sup Cid's girl." Gippal nodded at her. "There's some French toast there if you want some." He motioned to a covered plate near the stove.

"Yeah, I see it thanks, Pops must love having you around."

"He yells at me for nothing, dude still ate my food though." Gippal shook his head and then turned to Paine. "See right here?" He pointed to the screen.

Paine nodded. "Yeah but that could have been anything…"

"Not with that amount of money, there is no way Sh—" He looked over at Rikku moving about the kitchen. "Shrooms cost that much."

Paine caught on. "What kind, and why at this date?" The date was a day before the Auron trial. "It's the last thing on here, Gip." Paine gave him a look. Gippal nudged her and motioned toward Rikku.

"Hey Ri, when does Cid come home usually?" Paine asked.

Rikku was putting syrup on her French toast. She shrugged keeping her eyes on the golden nectar. "I dunno Pai, whenever he feels like it."

"You mind if I steal your girlfriend for a few hours?" Gippal asked. They needed to get this done. Paine would be wrong to think he would let this Baralai thing blow over that easy, dead wrong, but Gippal had realized in light of the circumstances he needed to put that aside for now. This would have been impossible for the old Gippal to do, but he knew he had to change a few things about himself. He didn't like being lied to, or sideswiped, and that's exactly what Paine had done, but she was his best friend. He was wondering how long he could really stay mad at her.

Rikku turned her attention to the two. They both wore guilty looks on their faces. "Whatever you two are up to…" She wagged a finger at them.

"Nothing." Paine said before taking another sip of her milk. "We were just gonna go…" She looked at Gippal for some help but then remembered he wasn't talking to her.

Whatever

Rikku nodded. "Yeah uhuh, you just got out of the hospital yesterday, Paine."

"I know I know."

Rikku went back to her tea. "I'm glad you are aware."

Gippal snickered as he watched Paine sigh.

"I feel fine." She protested knowing it would do little to sway Rikku's mind.

"No pain whatsoever?" Rikku asked sipping her tea to make sure it was just right.

"No pain." Paine nodded.

"C'mere." Rikku put the tea cup down on the counter. Paine hesitated. "Come here a second."

Paine stood and walked over to her girlfriend a little unsure of what she up to.

Rikku smiled at Paine before asking her to turn around. After she did so, Rikku lifted her gray shirt just enough, and pressed two fingers against her back where there was a scar. Paine hissed loudly and doubled over a little. "What the fuck?" She glared back at Rikku. Gippal just laughed.

"She's got a point Dr.P, I don't know what you were thinking." He shook his head. The night before Paine didn't seem to be hurt at all. Maybe she was covering it up. He suddenly felt a little bad. "No worries, I can go by myself." He knew he needed the time to think anyway.

"What if someone tries to shoot you again, you're going to need someone to block it." Paine joked sitting back down in the breakfast nook.

"Not funny." Rikku shook her head and was going to carry her food into the den.

"You don't wanna sit by me?" Paine asked scooting over a little.

"I didn't think I was cool enough."

"I was just getting up." Gippal announced closing the laptop. "I'll let you know." He didn't even look at Paine as he said it.

"If Lai calls I'll tell you." Paine nodded.

"You guys finally reunited? That's great ever since the fashion show I—"

Gippal paused and Paine sent Rikku a little look that asked her to please be quiet. She hadn't exactly told Gippal the time frame in which she knew Baralai again. She certainly didn't tell him that he was there to support her when she didn't even bother telling her roommates about it. "Since the fucking fashion show, Paine? What the hell, huh?"

"Gippal-"

"Save it man." He stormed out of the kitchen.

"Oh…." Rikku frowned. "But, I don't get it. You guys were just talking like everything was fine. Then this morning you said…" Paine only sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Paine shook it off. "Whatever, he just needs time… The only reason he's talking to me is because he needs my help with this thing."

"The Bart guy?"

"Yeah."

"I can call Pops if you want, ask him what's going on?"

"Nah, its fine." She didn't want to bother Cid until they had something.

"You can go with him if you want… I was just trying to prove a point."

"I'm better off not getting too involved. I've already…" She trailed off. "I wanted to stay anyway."

"Are you going to go home later?" Rikku asked. She didn't want Paine to leave, but she really wanted to say something to her father at dinner tonight, and she didn't know if Paine wanted to be there or not. "I was gonna talk to Pops about… y'know stuff."

"I thought we agreed that we liked seeing each other." Paine joked.

Rikku chuckled a little. "I just… I just want to tell him before my brother comes…" She busied herself with stabbing a piece of French toast. Watching the syrup ooze from it was far more interesting than talking about family rejection, although she really should be used to it by now.

Paine took a second to get out of her own thoughts for a minute. Had she missed something going on with Rikku? "You wanna tell your brother too?"

"Well, I mean I think it's only right if he asks what's been going on that I mention I'm seeing you…"

Paine was quiet. "Are you going to say something about Auron?" She watched as Rikku focused on her food. Was it too soon? "I'm sorry." She began to apologize.

"No, no it's okay. I mean it happened right…?"

"Right…" Paine finished off the rest of her milk. "So…?" She wasn't used to drinking whole milk. Everyone around her house drank two percent. But Elma had recommended it so she could at least get up to her normal weight.

Rikku looked at Paine. "He's my brother y'know? He deserves to know."

"What are you worried about then? You think he won't support the fact that I'm a woman?"

"I don't know… What if he doesn't want to talk to me or, what if he wants to meet you?"

Paine chuckled a little. "Rikks, then I'll meet him." That was a non issue.

"I'm afraid he'll take it badly." Paine nodded. "I'm afraid he'll be disgusted and just… I don't know. I'm his little sister; I'm not even supposed to like boys to him."

Paine was very quiet for a second. "Do you know if you're gay?" She asked.

Rikku seemed surprised. "I like you don't I?"

"Yeah but, babe, it doesn't exactly work like that… I mean it could, but that's only if you think you are…."

Rikku sighed heavily. "You think he will ask?"

"They might." She was trying to prepare her for whatever was coming. "They might not."

Rikku suddenly didn't feel like eating. She pushed her plate away a little and brought her tea in front of her. "Would it be bad if I wasn't?"

"Would it be bad if you were?"

"I mean like… For us?" She turned and looked at Paine seriously. "Because I've never felt this way about anyone ever… But you knew that."

Paine stared at her cloudy empty glass. "I don't know." Rikku frowned. "I mean I know, I know that I want you to be my girlfriend, I know that I like you a whole lot." She emphasized that part to Rikku. "I know that you make me happy. I just don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you don't like being with a girl."

"How could you even think like that?"

"I'm being realistic."

"A lot of this is really new to me, yeah, I'll admit that. But I never once said it's not what I wanted. I wanna be with you just as much as you want to be with me. Does all the other stuff really matter?"

"Not to me." Paine stressed it so she would understand that she wasn't trying to force Rikku to pick. "But everyone else?" Paine shook her head. "They're gonna wanna know."

"It's none of their business."

"It's not, but that doesn't stop people, Rikku."

Rikku sighed and leaned her elbows on the table so her forehead would have a resting place in her palms. "How did you know you were gay?"

"Did I say I was?"

Rikku picked her head up from the table and felt like hitting Paine with the little smirk she was wearing. "I'm being like people aren't I?" She asked leaning her head on Paine's shoulder instead.

Paine only smiled a little wider. "I just felt different. I don't know, I couldn't be myself, and then things happened and well, for a long time I didn't want anyone."

"You dated Baralai." Rikku pointed out.

"He doesn't count."

"You keep saying that."

"Because he doesn't." Paine shrugged."I just don't want you to feel ambushed when you talk to them both, okay?" She said; her voice turning sincere.

Rikku sighed quietly. "I have to think on it… I mean these feelings came outta nowhere."

"Did they?"

Rikku fell quiet. "I don't know." She was in a vulnerable place when she met Paine. She knew she wasn't attracted to her because she saved her though. Seconds after spilling her coffee on Paine Rikku felt a sharp tug in her chest that told her so. That was not a "save me" tug, that was a "I need to know you, because you captivate me" tug, and even in that state she was able to tell the difference. Or maybe it was that fact that she was so open to for someone to notice how sad she was that Rikku was able to see that she might be attracted to this person, who normally, she wouldn't have been.

But what was normal anyway?

She liked Paine, she liked Paine a lot.

That was fact.

All the other theories were just there to confuse.

"Do you want me to be here when you tell your father tonight?" She assumed that's why she had asked if she were going home. If it were up to Rikku, Paine would have already moved in.

"No, I think I should just tell him by myself first. See what he say's y'know?" Paine nodded. "You want to share this with me?" She asked her pulling the French toast back. She doubted Paine had anything to eat yet. Paine nodded and got up to get another fork. A few minutes past of them eating off of the same plate. It worked out that since Rikku was left handed and Paine right handed, they could sit close to each other without one getting in the way of the other. They ate quietly; the weight of their last conversation keeping their thoughts busy.

"Paine?" Rikku finally spoke up.

"Hm?" She asked looking up at Rikku.

Rikku held her gaze as she spoke. "I just want you to know that I'm sure."

Paine grew a little confused, but then smiled when she got what Rikku was trying to say. She didn't know she needed to hear that until she actually did.

Paine leaned over and placed a little kiss on Rikku's cheek before going back to the food.

Rikku smiled and touched her cheek. "You're lips are all sticky!"

Paine only laughed.

##

"Milan, this smells wonderful, but didn't you cook a bunch of food last night?" Cid asked as he entered the kitchen to see Rikku cooking. He was wearing his work clothes and was holding a briefcase. She was in an apron with her hair tied back.

"I sent most of it home with Paine. Wakka really liked it." She opened a pot lid and used a wooden spoon to stir the contents. "I called grandma for the recipe to cactar stew." Rikku explained. "I know it's your favorite."

Cid raised an eyebrow and put his things down. "I didn't see a dent on your car…"

Rikku was lowering the heat on something. "That's because I didn't crash it."

"Did you and your cousin have another fashion emergency?" He pulled out his wallet shaking his head. "Did you buy Kimahri from her?"

"What?" Rikku laughed.

"He's in the den."

"I'm babysitting, Yunie was out all day, she didn't want to leave him alone, so I walked him, bathed him, we even tried learning tricks today."

Cid nodded slowly. "So why did you call my mother for the recipe?"

"Because, it's your favorite." She thought she explained that already.

"Okay so what is the occasion?" Cid asked. He went into the fridge to get some water. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful. Yevon knew today had been hard around the office and he was trying to do his best for Gippal, while keeping up with his other files and clients. He was going to suggest that they order out if Rikku was even home.

"Gippal kinda got me hooked on this cooking thing y'know. It's pretty fun. I thought since last night everyone liked what I made then I could try another Al bhed dish."

Cid smiled a little. "That's great, Milan."

"Yeah, so sit down and eat this even if it came out wrong." Cid chuckled and sat in the breakfast nook and watched his daughter fix him a plate. "So did you know grandma has a boyfriend?" Rikku thought it would be good to get him talking.

Cid made a face. "I did not know that bit of troubling news, no."

"She sounded twenty years younger." Rikku joked. "It was really really cute. They go for walks."

"She told you about this?"

"Yeah, she said I was old enough to understand."

"Shiva." Cid shook his head. He felt a little bad for Rikku. She was like her mother _and_ his mother; whatever that meant. He still didn't know. "Well it isn't like they could do much else at her age. Thank you." Cid thanked when Rikku put the food in front of him. She turned to make her own plate.

"Pop, that's not nice. You might get a little pnudran un cecdan." Rikku shook the pot spoon with a little giggle.

"Milan, really." Cid wanted to laugh, but the idea of his old old old mother having another child, especially after Senya passing away, it just was ridiculous.

"Anyway she just sounded good." Rikku brought her plate over and sat across from her father.

"That's good to hear. I'm sure she was glad you called."

"Couldn't understand a word she said."

Cid laughed. His mother had a very thick Al bhed accent when she spoke, which was only in Al bhed. "Well you know what that means?"

"What?"

"We should go pay a visit. You're getting rusty."

Rikku brightened up. "To Home?" Cid nodded. "Wow Pop, yeah! I'm all in. When?"

Cid shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm waiting on a deal to go through. Maybe for a week or so. Bring Yuna."

Rikku nodded happily. She couldn't wait to tell Paine and Yuna. "Oh…" She frowned a little.

"What's wrong?" Cid asked. He was scoping up the first bit of cactar to give his critique.

Rikku shook her head. "Nothing, nothing, Um. So how was work?" She had to get back on track before she chickened out.

"It was tiresome. Gippal brought in something that I really hope you had nothing to do with." He watched as Rikku grew confused. "Good." He supposed Paine didn't know, or if she did know, she did the right thing with keeping Rikku out of it. "Forget that, what did you do today?" Cid finally ate some of the food and smiled. "Cbud uh, Milan."

Rikku nodded. Alright so she was going good. "I told you, Kimmi and I hung out today."

"You really need more human friends." Cid joked. "Where was Paine today?"

Perfect opening!

"Well she's still y'know fresh out the hospital?" Cid nodded. "She spent the day resting up."

"Good, No trouble around her way?"

"Nothing that she has said." Rikku took a deep breath and clutched the fork in her hand. This was it. "Pop…?"

"Mhm?" He asked continuing to eat.

"I uh, I actually wanted to tell you something… about, y'know me."

"Okay." Cid slowed down sensing that this was the real reason for the home cooked meal.

"Well…" Rikku wondered what happened to the speech that she had prepared. "You know how, Paine and I are real close?" Cid nodded. "Well, I… She… We…. Tyshed" Cid didn't say anything, a part of him knew what was coming, the other was wondering if maybe she would throw him a curve ball. She had been doing that to him her entire life. "She's my girlfriend." Rikku finally got out. "Um, not like how Yunie or Lulu are… but like… We kiss and stuff?"

"And stuff?" Cid asked in a fatherly tone.

Rikku began to blush. "No no, not and stuff. I mean not yet." Cid raised an eyebrow. "I mean not ever?" Rikku sank in her chair a little. "I-I like her, and she likes me… and please say something."

He sighed. "What would you like me to say?"

Rikku frowned. "Whatever you are thinking."

"I'm thinking that if she were a man she would be perfect for you—"

Rikku's green eyes hardened. "Well she's not."

"Okay."

"And she's still perfect for me."

"Okay. Understand that my concern is I don't want you getting hurt."

Rikku shook her head. "And some guy is less likely to hurt me than Paine?" She looked like she wanted to cry. Rikku stood, her face was set and she didn't know if she could even think of the words to describe how she was feeling.

"Milan—" Cid tried to explain.

"She treats me a hundred thousand times better than any man has ever treated me. And she listens to me when I say things, and she thinks I'm smart!" Rikku dropped the fork that she was still clutching in her fist. "She's not perfect I know, I already _know_ Pops, but I'm not either, I'm not. You can't try and protect me like I am anymore. I messed up, I messed up bad, and through the whole thing even while you didn't want to talk to me she was there telling me how amazing I was, and how everything would be okay. _She_ stayed up with me when I cried, she went to buy that expensive tea I like so much when she just got fired from her job just because she knew it would help me. She goes out of her way all of the time for me. _Broken_ me!" She felt her face get hot like she wanted to cry, but she wasn't going to, there was no reason to.

Cid stared at his daughter as he stood. "I understand…"

"So why can't she be just herself? Why is everyone so concerned with… With stuff! She's not a man I'm sorry… No I'm not sorry for that. I don't know how you could think that just because they have a penis means they could do a better job than she has and—"

Cid cleared his throat and began to speak over Rikku when he realized she was on a roll. "If she ever hurt you what would it look like if I put hands on a woman?"

Rikku stilled. "What?"

"I know I can't protect you anymore… I know things have happened where I have failed you. I know no matter how many times I say I'm sorry it could never take back what happened. So that's why now, now things will always be different. When you were born you were so small, Milan, I felt that if I held you the wrong way you would break, and now? Now you run wild like you're invincible and you yell like you are my height. You are so brave in everything you do that it makes me wonder why I was so scared, but then you fall and get a scrape, or _this_ happens and you… You get hurt in a way that I can never understand; and I'm back to being scared again. Almost twenty one years later and I still feel the same. That day, when I first held you, I promised that I would hurt anyone who hurt you." He shook his head. "I'm not done with Auron yet. But if Paine hurt you then what am I to do? That's why if she was a male… Well then it would be better justified no?"

Rikku just stared up at her father behind teary eyes, they hadn't fallen yet but they were there. "So you…"

"I knew you liked her that first night I asked about her."

"But…"

"I didn't know how much until she got hurt. Muja, the look on your face when we got to the hospital told me everything I needed to know."

Rikku just stared at him blankly for a minute.

A minute was a long time for something like this to be hanging in the air.

Cid shifted under her intense gaze. He was beginning to believe that maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe he had ruined it again, maybe—

His train of thought stopped when he felt a soft blow to the chest.

She was hugging him.

##

"Why do you insist on watching this shit?" Paine asked. She would admit that she was getting a little impatient. Shouldn't dinner with her father have been over by now? Wasn't she going to call? Or was she supposed to call Rikku? Paine had forgotten.

"This is quality Spira TV." Nooj protested as he watched Tammy and Joni breaking up again.

"Who knew you were such a conformist."

"Rikku likes this show." Nooj shrugged.

"Rikku likes a lot of things that I don't like."

"Well now that you all are together shouldn't you try to like what she likes?"

"No, why? So we could end up like those couples who have everything in common? That's annoying." Paine checked her phone. No, annoying was saying you would call and then not calling. That was annoying.

Just if Rikku somehow knew what Paine was thinking, her phone began to sound. She picked it up on the second ring. "Paine."

"Dr. P!" Rikku was practically squirming with excitement.

"Hey Rikks, it's kinda late." She got up from the couch and headed for her room. "Everything go okay?"

"I told him."

"Mhm?'

"I told him and he already knew!"

"He already knew we were together?"

"No, well, I don't know. He already knew that I liked you and everything. He knew before I knew."

"You sound happy." Paine observed as she closed her bedroom door behind her. She walked over to her window to close it and stopped when she noticed none other than Dona Pilgrim leaning up against a car across the street. She was wearing shorts even in the cool night and was looking directly up at Paine's window. "Yevon almightily."

"—What?" Rikku was in the middle of telling Paine all about what happened.

"Nothin', Rikku let me call you right back."

She felt a little hurt. Wasn't what she had to say important? She wasn't mad or anything like that, Rikku was just expecting something from Paine that she was obviously oblivious to right now. "Uh, okay sure."

They hung up and Paine went downstairs. "Is there any reason for this? Or you just felt like being weirder than normal today?" Paine asked once she was within talking distance from Dona.

She smirked and pushed herself off of the car. "You should be nicer to me, Kerrigan."

Paine crossed her arms. "Why is that?"

"Because, I have something of value to you." Paine said nothing; she was waiting for the catch. "Everyone knows you were at Shu's last night."

"Who is everyone?"

"Bart."

"Why does he care?"

"Shuyin was his friend, Paine."

"That he killed, am I right?" Dona looked elsewhere telling Paine she was.

"In the hospital you were a real bitch." Paine didn't know what to make of her tone. "Did it feel good to say those things to me?"

Paine only nodded.

Dona pressed her hand against the car behind her like she might have been stabbed or something. There was no change of expression on her face though. Paine suddenly felt a little bad.

"I—"

"Barthello has lost his mind over this. I know it kills him what he did." She spoke a little bit louder to quiet whatever Paine was about to say. She wasn't here for apologies.

Paine took note in the shift. She didn't know why how all of a sudden after everything she realized that Dona was only 19. She looked her age right now.

Besides the huge breasts and all.

Paine knew on some level that back then she had taken advantage of her. It didn't seem like it then, but now with a clear mind she saw it. She saw it, and she felt horrible. They were both only just kids, Paine had been older, somewhere in her fucked up mind she should have known better.

"But he did it."

Dona nodded. "Here." She turned and reached into the driver's side of the car. The window was lowered enough for Dona to stick her hand in and pull out a manila file folder thick with loose leaf paper. "You were looking for these. Take them."

Paine watched her carefully. "He's your brother…"

"He hasn't been for a long time now." Dona watched as Paine flipped through the files. "Shipments, names, dates, it's all there." She chuckled bitterly. "The master list too." Paine looked at her when she said it. "He got up until Shu… He killed all those people, _my_ brother." Paine closed the folder and Dona turned and opened the car door.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

She gave her a hard look. "Like you care?"

Paine couldn't stare back at those sharp gray eyes. For the first time ever she could not possibly recognize the person that owned them. She instead looked up the street, someone was having a party; cars were littered around a particular house, and the lyrics to the loud music was lost, all she could feel was the base in the back of her throat. "Do you hate me?" Paine found herself asking. Suddenly it seemed important to know. The Pilgrim's had been a huge part of her immediate past, and she knew that after she did what she needed to do then Bart would definitely hate her. What Paine found surprising is that she didn't care what he thought; she just didn't want Dona to.

She had always thought it would be the other way around in the end.

Dona was already sitting in the car when Paine asked. She gripped the steering wheel lightly as she looked at the parked car in front of her. Its license plate was missing. "No, Paine. I don't hate you."

She closed the door, started the car, and drove off.

Paine watched the car disappear with an odd mixture of relief and sadness crawling under her skin.

**AN: Fun chapter, stressful chapter, lol Rewrote the entire thing I think three times. Yes, I had a lot of time on my hands, no, I didn't sleep. :) Review! They help.  
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**KathleenDee**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Paine sat down with the folder at her desk and didn't look up until she heard Elma coming home. The shades she had yet to close told her that it was late now and her eyes hurt from reading page after page of Bart's school boy script.

"Fuck." She cursed as she turned around in her desk chair and leaned over to her bed where her cell phone sat. She groaned when she noticed the time.

Yeah she was in trouble.

She dialed Rikku's number quickly and held her breath as it rang. She'd be awake still right?

"Oh hey." Rikku mumbled when she picked up the phone. "You're not dead or anything, that's good."

"Did I wake you up, Princess?"

She was on damage control.

"Yeah."

"Oh, I'm sorry…"

"About what?"

"About…" Somehow Paine felt like this was a trick question.

"I'm going back to sleep, Paine."

"Oh… Okay."

That was it? Oh, Okay? Rikku shook her head. "I've had a long day, not that you would know..." She would admit to being cranky, but still!

"That's not fair, Dona came over and—"

"Oh great, so you forgot about calling me back because your ex was over, that makes me feel a whole lot better."

"Ex?"

"That's what you call someone you slept with right, because that's what you guys did, you had sex."

"I was always high!"

"So how can anyone else compare?"

Paine stared at her cell phone. What the hell? "Rikku—" She shook her head. "I never let her hold my hand, I never let her kiss me just because, I never let her wear my hoody. I never wanted to share with her, or be close to her. She was never my girlfriend, and I'd trade all the times we hooked up for one of your kisses any day." Paine stood. "It pisses me off that you would even think to compare yourself to her." She was genuinely upset that Rikku would go there. Didn't she know how she felt?

Rikku wanted to be mad, but damnit Paine and her speeches! "Her boobs are bigger…"

"I like yours better… I mean I'd like them even more if you let me…."

"Paine!"

Paine calmed down. "You're my girlfriend. You."

"I know… It's just that sometimes…."

"You're my girlfriend."

##

"So everything is right with the world then?" Yuna asked as she reached for a box of cheesy flavored popcorn.

Rikku was leaned against the cart in the junk food isle. Yuna never came down this isle before. She noticed. "I need a vacation."

Yuna laughed pushing the cart and Rikku along with it. "We _are_ on vacation."

"Not for long, and then when school starts it's going to be pointless assignment after pointless assignment… Not to mention it's going to be weird being back there with all that has happened…" She jumped off to grab a bag of stick pretzels. It had suddenly crossed her mind that maybe no one would believe her story. Auron was a well respected professor and a large giver to the academic community. She was still a pre law major, and a lot of them knew each other, what if she got one of his friends as a professor this semester?

That was a whole other bit of hell that Rikku didn't want to think about handling.

"Even more of a reason why you should enjoy it now."

Rikku sighed. "I know, it's just that… I'm like a rubber band ball."

"I can't wait to hear this one."

Rikku chuckled. "I'm all tense, ready for the next up and down, ready to be bounced off of walls and… I can bounce back, I know I can. It's just really stressful to be like that all of the time. That's how I've been all of this summer."

"Even when you are with Paine?"

Rikku blushed. "Especially then…. But in a different way."

Yuna laughed lightly and nodded. "I get it." They rounded the corner to the oils and vinegar isle. "Tidus is kind of a dork…"

"Kind of?"

Yuna got a little dreamy look on her face as she reached for a bottle of olive oil. "But I can't help my heart from wanting jump out of my chest when he smiles at me… Is that it?"

Rikku smiled at her cousin and then thought of Paine. "Yeah, that's it, Yunie."

"Rubber band ball."

##

"Hey."

Gippal looked over his shoulder quickly and then sighed loudly with relief. He waved his free hand about to help the thick smoke around him hurry up and out the window he had open.

"Y'know I got Rikku to smoke with me once… Well, I guess she got me to smoke with her…"

"She's not here." Gippal kept his posture on the defense; He did find it a little amusing that Cid's girl would light up, but right now wasn't the time.

"I know she isn't." Paine stepped further into the room. There were no lights on, but it was well in the day time. She didn't need the extra help to see that Gippal still didn't want to talk to her. "I came to see you."

He pulled the joint out of his mouth and blew the air out the window. "Why?"

##

"I would like to see him."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing you." Rikku teased.

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Oh c'mon."

"I wonder what Tidus would think if he knew Brother had a crush on you when he was little."

"He wouldn't like him." Yuna chuckled.

They were in line at the checkout. "Yeah well, he may not like me after this visit…"

"Tidus? Or Kirill?"

"Brother."

"Why is that?"

Rikku shrugged as she began to take things out of her section of the cart. They were buying a lot more food these days. It probably had something to do with Gippal being there and everyone coming over. It was a good thing her father never looked at the food bills.

"I'm going to tell him about Auron… Paine…"

"Oh." Yuna stopped picking up things in her cart when she realized the magnitude of the situation. Kirill and Rikku were inseparable as kids, even up until the point where he moved out and got signed to the blitz league. He had always been a little protective over Rikku, learning that not only had she been in a dangerous relationship with Auron Gaurrd; a man he called uncle, but in a current relationship with Paine Kerrigan; a woman, well Yuna thought it might be a little much. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"What, should I just not say anything?"

"Well." Yuna chose her words carefully. "If it were me I would maybe tell him one…. See how he takes it. " Yuna went back to emptying the cart leaving Rikku to wonder.

##

"I never meant for this to get so far…"

She and Gippal were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the full size bed in the Bayla guest room. "I met Rikku and then a week later he just shows up, and then I found out you liked Rikku and well… I had to decide which was most important for you to know about."

"You didn't think it would be the fact that Baralai was going there? I mean… We used to be the three fucking amigos or something…"

"I knew how you felt about him… And I knew how I felt about Rikku…"

"Even if you didn't want to admit it."

"Well yeah, she was your _dream girl_, remember?"

"I'd still hit it if you two weren't a thing…" Gippal joked.

Paine laughed a little. "I'm gonna need you to stop talking about her like that."

Gippal smiled and nodded. Half the time he said stuff like that to get Paine in this protective mode that he rarely saw. His face turned serious again. "So what… Are you guys like friends or what?"

Paine shook her head. "Rikku talks to him more than I do." She thought for a second. "What is your problem with him, Gip? I never talk to him because you don't like him… and then I realized that was stupid of me, we were so young. Whatever happened? It can't be worth it."

Gippal was quiet for a while and then he looked down at his working man hands. "He got an easy out, when we had to go through hell. I'm jealous of that." He admitted. He looked up at Paine. Seeing his best friend, it made it easy. "I'm jealous."

##

"Gippal! " Rikku called as she pushed the front door open and struggled with her bags. "sa ramb sa fedr drec vuut. Sucd uv ed ec vun oui yhofyo. Oui'na milg—"

"I'm coming I'm coming, damn, Keep your bra on… " Rikku watched with a little surprise as he and Paine came down the stairs to help her with the bags.

"Hey." She smiled at Paine. "Did I miss a call or something?" Rikku asked as Paine took the bags out of her hands and they walked into the kitchen to start putting things away.

"No. I just came by to see Gippal real quick."

"Oh." Rikku looked behind her towards the front door and then ran up close behind Paine causing the taller girl to laugh a little. "Did you guys make up?" She whispered.

Paine shrugged. "I think so."

"Why are you guys whispering?" Gippal asked as he brought a few bags into the kitchen and placed them on the floor.

"We were just talking about…" Rikku began and looked to Paine for some help.

"Making our schedules…." She gave Rikku a look. "Because we still have to do that."

Rikku groaned. "Let's go to the beach instead."

"I'm down for the beach." Gippal nodded.

"Great, I'll go call Yunie!" Rikku took off before Paine could say anything. She shook her head. It was a good thing her bathing suit was still here from the last time they went to the beach.

"Are we cool?" Paine asked after helping Gippal put away some items.

Gippal paused. "Yeah P, We're cool."

Paine couldn't help but smile a little. "Good, cause I got something to show you…"

##

Rikku happily trotted down the stairs searching for Paine and Gippal. She easily found them in the den huddled over a bunch of papers.

"You guys didn't even put away the rest of the groceries?" She observed.

"I don't know where everything goes…" Paine dismissed as she showed Gippal another page.

"Shit, man." Gippal rubbed the back of his neck. He picked up the paper. It was a shame they weren't into this stuff anymore, they could be rich!

"Paine you're always here… in the kitchen, and Gippal you kinda live here, do I have to do everything? I need to go pick out my beach outfit."

Paine sighed and stood. "That's gonna take her an hour, we might as well do it."

"Fine fine."

"What is all that?" Rikku asked as they carefully put pages back into a file folder.

"What Dona dropped off last night…" Paine said. "Oh, and do you know where my bathing suit is?"

"It's in your drawer."

"You got a fucking drawer here?" Gippal asked looking at Paine. "You two been only dating for like three weeks."

Paine shrugged. "It's not all of mine." The other half was dedicated to Rikku's shorts; which really took up more than half now that she thought about it.

"Where else was she going to put all her stuff?" Rikku asked not seeing the big deal.

Gippal looked at the two of them. "At her house."

"She's always here though."

Gippal looked at Paine. He hadn't realized the severity of her _problem_. "Do you have a fucking toothbrush here?"

"Not my original one."

"You guys do realize that sometimes it takes years to get a drawer…"

"Half a drawer." Rikku corrected.

"A quarter of a drawer." Paine corrected her.

##

"I was thinking." Paine spoke loudly enough for Rikku to hear. She was in the bathroom changing into her bathing suit while Rikku moved about her room. "…About what Gippal said."

"Huh…" Rikku was by her dresser picking out a top to wear to the beach over her swimsuit. "Yeah, I don't know how that would taste with Dijon…"

Paine opened the door. "What?" She was wearing her bikini under her basketball shorts and an almost sheer gray tank top.

"The ham…" Rikku looked up at Paine. "Isn't that what you were thinking about?"

Paine shook her head slowly. "No."

"Oh." Rikku shrugged and went back to what she was doing. "What then?"

"About the drawer thing… You don't think we are moving too fast?" How was she supposed to know what was normal and what wasn't?

"Paine, it's not like you are moving in, but you live across town and as we know, are quite forgetful."

Paine chuckled a little. "Yeah."

"So where else am I going to put your things when you leave them?" She motioned to her chest of drawers. "I had room, its okay."

Paine nodded; she was being foolish to listen to Gippal. "You're right, I don't know…" She scratched the back of her head and then walked away. Rikku watched her walk over to her bed, sit down, and pull out her phone to text someone. "I'm ready whenever."

"Who yuh texting?" Rikku asked as she closed her drawer and went to set aside two towels for them.

"Em, I just wanna make sure the scar will be okay in salt water."

"Oh yeah." Rikku frowned. "Let me see? Have you been putting that cream on it?"

Paine stood up and lifted the back of her shirt a little. "It feels okay, kinda stings when I shower, which means I probably shouldn't go into the water…"

Rikku walked over to look at it. "When is your next appointment?"

"Tomorrow."

"You didn't tell me?"

"I was just gonna go by myself. Besides how could I remember to tell you with all this stuff that's been going on?"

"As much as it kills me to say…" Rikku pulled Paine's shirt back down. "You probably shouldn't take off your shirt."

Paine laughed. "Kills you to say that huh? Yeah I'll be okay though, probably a real bad idea to get sand on it… Maybe you guys should just go."

Rikku frowned. "Whhaaa? No you have to come, it will still be fun." It didn't seem to convince Paine. "Well what would you do?"

"Sleep." She had hardly slept after hanging up with Rikku. There was just so much to look at in Bart's notes. Paine sat back down on the bed.

"Here?"

"I'd go home."

"You could sleep here and then when we come back you and I could do our schedules." Rikku rubbed Paine's shoulder with one hand. "But I mean if you want."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to come, but it makes no sense if you can't do anything…"

Paine thought about it. "I'll let you know."

Rikku nodded. "Okay."

##

"Yeah, let's plan it for tomorrow or something. Paine and I still need to make our class schedules, and a lots going on around here with Gippal and some folder so…" Rikku nodded again as she went down the stairs to the kitchen. "Right, okay Yunie… Mhm, bye." Rikku hung up and poked her head into the den where Paine and Gippal were with Braska on speaker phone.

"I'll be right back." Paine jumped up and went into the kitchen with Rikku. "What did she say?"

"She said it was cool, she was over at Lulu's and it would have taken her an hour to get here and stuff so, its okay." Paine nodded and turned around to leave. She had already changed back into her normal clothes. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"So you're really not going to tell me what's going on here?"

Paine sighed and turned fully around. Last night she had let Rikku talk about how it went with Cid until she was blue in the face. She recognized where she had messed up before, not calling Rikku back on something important like that wasn't cool. They were in a better place now though which was good. Paine leaned against the counter. It was still difficult to remember she had someone in her corner though; someone who wanted to know everything. Not because they were nosy, but because they genuinely cared. "So Dona came over and gave me this folder…"

"Mhm." Rikku nodded as she took a seat in the breakfast nook.

"It has all of Bart's information, y'know like drug shipping and dealers under him, enough, in fact, to trace everything back to whoever is running things. Had the list of witnesses too, so now Braska is getting some info to get the ball rolling and Gippal is just going to drop off the thing to Braska's when he goes to work later."

"And she just gave all of this to you?"

Paine nodded and walked over to sit across from Rikku. "Yeah."

"How do you know it's all true? I mean that means she's turning in her brother." She couldn't wrap her head around this Dona chick, and her relationship with Paine confused her even more.

"Well it's Bart's and some of Shu's handwriting for sure and…" Paine shrugged. "I don't know I just believe that she's tried of the crap too, y'know?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"Tell me." Paine said when she noticed a look on Rikku's face that said she was biting her tongue. She walked the small distance to sit across from her.

Rikku shook her head. "It's nothing I just thought that… Being with you would be enough?"

"It isn't?" Paine asked feeling the small pang of hurt. She didn't like it.

Noticing the look on Paine's face Rikku reached out and grabbed her hand. Paine flinched involuntarily. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I meant that… I didn't want to jinx this if it's the end; I want to just be boring with you, Pypo. I thought the world would stop, but it hasn't. I just want to enjoy us." Rikku reached for her hand again.

Paine nodded understanding now. She upturned her hand letting Rikku's fingers slide between hers. "I know, after this? No more drama."

"You could say that again."

"What do you want to do? After all of this?"

"I want to take you out on a date." Rikku smiled sweetly.

##

The week had passed and Paine had been avoiding Rikku's house like the plague.

"You're being ridiculous." Rikku reminded as she rounded the corner of her street to find Paine waiting for her.

"No, I'm not."

"All he wants to do is talk to you!"

"About my intentions and five year plan and… A whole bunch of personal shit." Paine shook her head as Rikku grabbed her hand and they began walking to Yuna's.

"What, you don't have any?"

"I haven't exactly figured it out, what do you want me to say to him?" This conversation was getting old.

"Whatever you feel, you're making this so complicated." Rikku shook her head. Paine could be real stubborn if given the opportunity.

Paine shook her head again. "No, Rikku."

"So you're just going to avoid my father forever?"

Paine nodded. That sounded like solid idea right about now. "Yeah." She would be lying if she said she hadn't let her roommates' words get to her.

_Flashback_

"_You're going to sit down and talk with her father?" Elma looked surprised._

_Paine shrugged from her seat on the couch. "Said he wanted to talk to me."_

_Gippal laughed. "Yeah, about fucking his daughter."_

"_C'mon, Gip" Paine gave Gippal a warning look. _

"_Well he's got a point. What else will you guys talk about?" Nooj piped up from his spot on the opposite couch. His hairy legs well exposed with the shorts he was wearing. _

_Paine shrugged starting to feel a little nervous. She and Rikku hadn't even talked about that stuff yet…_

_They had been only dating three weeks!_

"_Best to keep a low profile ya?"_

"_Look who is talking." Paine shook her head._

_Wakka laughed. "But yeah Lu's already pregnant ya? I'm screwed. That's why you gotta avoid it now."_

"_It's not like I can spontaneously get her pregnant." Paine reached for the bowl of popcorn in front of her. Elma made a noise. "Em?"_

"_I work at a hospital, I've seen things."_

_End Flashback._

"You're sending the wrong message." Rikku said as she rang the Shaw doorbell.

Paine groaned. "I don't want to talk to him, and I don't want to talk about talking to him."

"Well you should have never asked me to be your girlfriend."

"Well you should have never said anything."

"Well you should have—"

"Hey guys." Yuna smiled at the two to get their attention. Only Paine and Rikku would be holding hands and arguing at the same time.

"Yunie!" Rikku grinned.

"Hey Yuna." Paine offered a small smile.

They entered the house for their now weekly cooking session.

"I'm guessing Tidus isn't here." Paine said as Kimahri tried to tackle her with kisses again.

"No he has to be on campus early tomorrow for some blitz thing." Yuna explained.

Rikku took off her small jacket and hung it up as Paine played with Kimahri a little. "Can you please tell Paine that she needs to go talk to Pops?" Rikku asked after she placed a hand on Yuna's shoulder as they walked into the kitchen together.

Paine groaned and followed after them, Kimahri after her. "Ah Bayla, give it a rest huh?"

Yuna laughed. "I thought you already talked to him Paine?" She had already started cooking the brown rice since it would take the longest to cook.

Rikku went over to the sink and washed her hands before peaking into a brown paper grocery bag that Yuna had on the counter. "She's afraid… Did you get the tomatoes?"

"I'm not afraid." Paine sighed. "I just… y'know, what am I supposed to say?"

"What has uncle Cid said about it?" Yuna asked Rikku.

"He said he just wanted to ask her a few things and talk, that's it. Nothing serious."

"How does that not seem serious to you?"

"Uncle Cid can be rather intimidating…" Yuna rationalized.

"Yes but Paine hasn't been over my house in like five days, and Pops doesn't want me over at hers for a little while after tomorrow so where does that leave us…?"

"It's a big city." Paine shrugged going over to the sink to wash her hands before reaching for a knife to cut things up for the vegetable rice.

Yuna chuckled. "So tomorrow is the day then?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm nervous." Rikku admitted.

Paine looked over at her softly. This was the first time she was hearing this. "Gip and I will be okay… We've been okay." After turning in Dona's file to the authorities, a full investigation was launched into Paine's neighborhood. They found that there was one big shipment coming in soon from a foreign supplier, meaning that everyone in the crime family would be there to make an appearance. The New Luca Crusaders were planning on forming a raid and confiscating everything and locking up everyone in sight. Paine had wanted to warn Dona, but word on the street was that she and her little sisters' hopped town that same night she handed over the folder. It was probably for the best, but still she couldn't help feel something. Anyway, the tricky part about tomorrow was that they needed everyone who was supposed to be present to be there, and that couldn't be so if some of the man power was spent looking for Gippal Trent. So Gippal was asked to move back into his apartment and try and keep a low profile. After almost killing a kid even the bad guys tended to take it easy.

Paine and Gippal had to be home during the raid, it would look suspicious if they weren't. So naturally Rikku was a little worried about their safety. Whoever wanted Gippal dead knew where he lived, so they knew where Paine lived. Joyce and the rest of the hospital staff were nice, but she didn't want a reason to see them. That's why it was of the upmost importance that no one left those shipping docks.

"I know I know…"

"I have my doctor appointment that morning…"Paine explained to Yuna.

"How is your back feeling?"

"A lot better. Sometimes though I feel this pinching?"

"The stent?"

"Yeah that's what Em said it was…"

Rikku remained quiet as they spoke. She was glad that Paine and Yuna were friends and could hold a steady conversation without her. Rikku just couldn't keep up with school around the corner and her brother coming into town soon, and Paine and Gippal, tomorrow.

It didn't help at all that the bad dreams had started up again.

The ones where Paine never came running in the door that day.

Or the ones where she was driving the car that killed her mother.

It had to be stress right?

Noticing Rikku getting quiet Paine asked her to help her with the oven "Just hold it open for me?"

Rikku nodded. "Okay." Yuna had left to answer the house phone.

Paine placed the tray of chicken thighs in the oven to bake. All she really wanted was a burger, but she couldn't yet. Not until tomorrows tests came back good. "You okay?" Paine asked standing back up and placing a hand on the small of Rikku's back.

Rikku nodded. "I wish you could sleep over."

Paine sighed. She had wanted to as well. She had a particularly bad night the other night. It never happened when she was with Rikku. "I can't."

"I know." Paine had to get up really early, it just made no sense.

##

"Goodnight." Paine repeated. Rikku had her arms around her on her porch and was trying her hardest to prolong the inevitable. Paine paused briefly before leaning down a little and kissing her softly.

"Call me when you get home?"

Paine nodded. "I will."

"Gimmie a hug." Rikku tugged on Paine a little and Paine chuckled but complied.

"What happens when school starts and I can't see you every day?" She asked after wrapping her arms around Rikku fully. She made it seem like they were not going to see each other for weeks.

"Did you make your work schedule yet?" Rikku asked just enjoying the closeness before Paine released her from the hug.

"I'm doing that tomorrow." Rikku nodded. Paine motioned to the door behind them. "You have your keys?"

"Yeah." Rikku finally let go of Paine and began looking through her bag. "Pops is home anyway so I'll just kn—" Rikku turned around. "Paine really?"

Paine was already at the bottom step. "I don't want to miss the train." She lied.

"You are so crazy." She pulled out her keys.

"I'll call you." Paine waved as she headed onto the street.

Rikku giggled. What was she going to do with her?

Paine waited until she was sure Rikku was inside okay, and then a second or two after. She would never be able to get the sound of Rikku screaming for help out of her head, and hoped that she would never have to hear it again.

Paine took a small breath of the cool summer air, turned around and started walking east.

##

Usually she was okay with her money, she spent, and did whatever and budgeted it in well enough to be able to spend again. However this next semester would be tight, really tight. Especially since she had been dipping into savings for the majority of the summer vacation to pay bills. Not to mention that with Wakka moving out soon, rent would go up again, or the fact that she had hospital billing agencies already calling and asking for their money.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked at the other two pieces of paper on her desk. It was her class schedule and her blank request for hours form at the rec center. The university was finally extending their hours and they all had to put in requests for new times. This was amazing for Paine because she could bank a lot more than she had been, however that meant less time for anything else. She had a girlfriend now too. Time was increasingly becoming the one thing she wished she had more of.

Forget even going to the gym anymore.

The doctors said with the stent she could work out and lead a normal life.

Which was total bullshit.

Paine was all or nothing. She hated seeing people at the gym just taking their time. She was an intense trainer, and that was just out of the question.

As a result of not being able to just beat the hell out of a punching bag, she had noticed how she had to put more effort into controlling her emotions. More effort meant more energy. Less energy meant that by the time the holidays came around she would be a walking zombie.

Paine checked the time and sighed before looking back down at the schedule. She and Rikku had already talked about how hard the upcoming semester would be. Rikku was taking several more courses than she was last semester, and Paine was taking a class less, but working more. They decided that having lunch together would be the best options for Tuesdays and Thursdays when they both had class all day and Paine worked till 11 at night. Wednesday's and Friday's were up in the air, but Monday's? Monday's Paine made sure that after a certain time, her schedule was open, and so was Rikku's. Paine sat back in her desk chair and reached for her cell phone.

Eventually they had made it to the beach with just Yuna and Tidus. Rikku had taken a picture of them with her cell phone and sent it to Paine the other day randomly. It had definitely brought a smile to her face and she found herself looking at it randomly from time to time. It was silly, and she would never admit it to anyone of course.

Paine was looking at the camera with a little smile on her face. She didn't need to be smiling to seem happy though, one could just tell that the girl nuzzling her made her happy. Their cheeks were touching as Rikku smiled in that goofy, yet adorable way of hers.

She wanted to do something nice for their one month, but that fell on a Thursday, the first Thursday of the new semester. She already had an idea but it wasn't anything big, and it definitely wasn't anything expensive, Paine just hoped that Rikku wasn't expecting anything grand.

##

"Alright." Gippal sat down on the couch beside Paine and handed her the second gaming controller. It was one in the afternoon, which meant the shit was going to hit the fan in thirteen minutes sharp. They wouldn't know if it was successful until around two thirty though. It was Gippal's idea to do something mindless and not think about goons coming to their home and beating the hell out of him and then taking him somewhere to shoot him

Yeah video games were good.

"Best 75 out of 100?"

Paine nodded. "Sounds good."

And that had worked for about a half hour.

"We could work on the car." Paine suggested.

"Outside?"

"No we'll just bring it in here, of course outside."

Gippal seemed a little off about the idea.

"Listen." Paine began as she stood to go change into her oily clothes. "We have to act normal right?" Gippal nodded. "Normally we would be out doing something right?" He nodded again. "Plus, I need that thing running before school starts."

Gippal stood. "You're right, fuck living like this. That's all I been doing for the past three weeks!" Gippal stood abruptly. "C'mere." He motioned for Paine to follow him.

"Do you ever clean this room?" Paine asked as she followed him into his room. It was bigger than hers but that was fine with Paine, she only needed a place to sleep, and besides, her room was the cheapest in the house. Gippal bent down at his bed and pulled out his tool box.

"Just in case…" He moved around a few things and then pulled out a deep silver and black berretta.

Paine shook her head. "Gip, what the fuck?"

He handed it to her. "You're probably a better shot than me anyway, and I'll be the first if they come."

Paine weighed the gun in her hand. She felt powerful with it in her hands, but she didn't like that feeling. It made her stomach hurt a little and she knew Gippal wouldn't have given her this to hold unless he really thought about it.

Gippal closed his tool box and carried it with him. "Let's go."

Paine was pretty sure she was having an acute anxiety attack at every car that drove by. She was under the car with the silver berretta tucked out of sight under a few oily rags beside her. She glanced above her a couple of times to make sure Gippal's dirty sneakers were still in sight as he worked under the hood.

"I think we might just be able to get her running today…" Gippal said as he worked. "She didn't have much interior engine damage, just the look of this thing…" He chuckled.

"Yeah, that's good…"

"Aye and don't worry about all that, I got a guy who works at the tire shop who could easily forget to count a few seat covers…"

Paine squinted at his tone, he was so fucking calm.

It bothered. Any minute now someone could come creeping up the block like the last time, put a few in his back, and then drive off.

Gippal began to whistle.

Paine nodded to herself. It wasn't his usual playful tune; it was the one he said his mother used to whistle. The tune she was whistling when she nearly killed him. When they were younger he had told Paine that it was his way of calming himself down, because no matter the situation, that had been the scariest thing that happened to him.

Everything else was just gravy.

"Bam Bam Bam!"

Paine jumped and instinctively reached for the pile of oily rags at her left. Her body began to jump into fight or flight.

Under the grace of some divine being, Paine hesitated, and then cursed when she heard the childish laughter and the tiny footsteps running by.

"I'm gonna get you!" A little boy yelled as a group of little kids playing some version of cops and robbers ran by.

"Fucking kids." She heard Gippal grumbled.

She sighed heavily let her body grow limp before pushed the oily pile as far away from her immediate reach as possible.

##

Rikku jumped up from her seat in the den and ran to get the door. She hesitated, calmed herself, and then checked who it was before opening it.

Paine was standing there with her hands in her pockets. "Hey Princess." She smiled.

Rikku pulled Paine inside and fussed over her appearance. Paine chuckled and pushed her away. "You're making me nervous, was there a frickin' dress code?"

"No no no." Rikku stopped and smiled. "How yuh feeling?" She checked. She knew it had been a long two days for Paine.

Paine sighed heavily. "Content."

"Happy?"

Paine nodded. "Happy."

"Okay well, I will be ready in a little bit.."

Paine quickly became panicked. "Wait you're not ready? Rikku... Rikku!" Rikku was running up the stairs with a little grin on her face.

Paine groaned and looked around the still downstairs.

Maybe he wasn't here…

Just then Cid walked around the corner with the morning paper. "You made the morning paper."

Paine sighed. "Good morning."

Cid nodded and smiled a little. The look on Paine's face was worth this. "Where is Rikku?" He started walking into the kitchen making Paine follow after him.

"Upstairs…"

"Do you want some tea?" Cid offered as he poured himself a cup.

"No thank you." Paine slowly followed after him. She was going to kill her girlfriend. This had Rikku written all over it.

"I haven't seen you around here in a while."

"I've been y'know…"

"Scared?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sure?" Cid smirked. This had to be his favorite part about being a father. He motioned to the tea pot on the stove. "Are you sure?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, I ate before I left the house…"

"How is everyone?"

"Good, Good. Things are calming down…"

"That's great, I was going to call Gippal today, see how things are. Do you get the paper? This really is an amazing article." Cid motioned to the folded up newspaper with title on the front page reading…

_New Luca's Biggest Bust_

Paine only nodded.

She had read it, sure, but she had also lived it too.

"C'mon sit down Paine, don't act like a stranger. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. There is no need to beat around the bush."

"Same page…" Paine sat down at the breakfast nook as Cid stood.

He was fucking tall.

"Right, Rikku told me that you and she were… Together. Am I wrong?"

Paine shook her head. "No sir."

"So you asked her to be your girlfriend, as in lover?"

"Lover?"

Cid nodded. "Well eventually, that is where all relationships go in time, right?"

"I guess but—"

"Good, so what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Intentions…"

"She's my only daughter you know. And given that I haven't been doing such a good job of protecting her in the past, I want to insure that whoever she is with now understands I mean business. I can't just have anyone taking up her time, especially someone with the wrong intentions. Understand?"

Paine nodded. "I like her…"

"Well I would hope so, Paine." Cid said sipping his tea. "But what do you want from her?"

"I don't want anything from her."

"So, why date her?"

Paine grew confused. "Rikku's my first girlfriend sir. I don't know what to say..." Paine didn't know you were supposed to want something in particular, she just liked Rikku, spending time with her was what she wanted she guessed.

Cid looked at Paine differently. "Really?" He had this image of Paine, and it was constantly changing with the truth.

Paine shrugged. "I never wanted one before."

"But you want Rikku Milan?"

Paine nodded. "I like her."

"Just?" He was pushing to see that emotion he saw in his daughter. Paine was a hard read.

"Well." Paine scratched the back of her head. "I mean we've only been going out for three weeks, isn't saying anything but that bad?"

"Tell me how you really feel."

"I really feel like I don't want anyone else." Paine said honestly. "She makes me really happy, and I want to do that for her." She shrugged. "I don't want anything from her, not really… I guess I just want her around?"

Cid nodded. He cleared his throat. "Now I think I know, but I'm not to sure on how two women…"

Paine groaned.

##

She was stuffing something into her jeans pockets when Rikku finally made an appearance. "I'm ready." She announced.

"You look nice, Milan, where are you two headed?"

Rikku was dressed casually in shorts and a random top. She supposed he just said that because he was a dad and it was kind of his job. "Can't say, it's a surprise." Rikku looked over at Paine. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Remember what we talked about Paine."

Paine nodded. "Yes, Mr. Bayla."

"Stop calling him that." Cid heard Rikku chide as they left the house. He shook his head and smiled. He liked Paine, maybe even a little more now.

"So what did he say?" Rikku asked as she ran to the passenger side door and opened it for Paine. She was finally taking her out on their date.

Paine smiled at the gesture but then frowned at the topic. She waited until Rikku was in the car with her.

"Rikku, he gave me condoms."

Rikku snapped her head around to look at Paine, she didn't know if she wanted to laugh or be horrified. "He didn't."

Paine nodded. "He definitely did."

"You don't have a stick though, what's Pop thinking?" Rikku shook her head rubbing a hand on her left temple.

"Female condoms." Paine corrected with a dry tone.

Rikku couldn't help it now; she chuckled softly and reached a hand over to touch Paine's. "I'm sorry, Pypo." She looked at Paine with wide puppy like eyes. "Forgive me?"

The other woman sighed. "Yeah." Rikku leaned forward and pecked her cheek. "That was fucked up though." Paine reminded. "You should have waited till I was ready."

"You're really upset?" Rikku asked pulling her hand away.

"No, it's just that I wasn't expecting it at all. I wish I saw my face when he pulled them out. Fuck. I mean… How the hell do you even use these things?" Paine rubbed her face making Rikku laugh a little.

"But you did it, and now he knows, and obviously approves, and—"

"You think he approves?" Paine asked.

"Well he gave you condoms Paine, and he let me leave with you. Trust me if Pops didn't find whatever you had to say satisfactory you would know."

Paine nodded. She had to be an okay person. Better than okay, she had just gotten permission to date Rikku Bayla. Paine smiled a little "One down, one to go?"

Rikku was starting the car with a smile on her face; it fell through when Paine mentioned her brother. "Yeah, one to go."

##

"It's under R. Bayla." Rikku smiled.

Rikku liked to think she knew her girlfriend just a little bit. That's why she knew she couldn't just take her out on some boring dinner date. Paine would like anything, she was sure, but Rikku really wanted to do something fun and stress free to kick off the school year, and ultimately their new relationship.

"Here you are." The man behind the ticket booth handed her two reserved tickets.

That's why she had taken her to the zoo.

Rikku turned and smiled widely "You ready!" Paine nodded coolly, which meant she was actually pretty damn excited. Rikku smiled to herself.

It wasn't just any zoo. This was a traveling one that Rikku was lucky enough to snag tickets last minute. They were leaving for Besaid in a day. She was up all night bidding with some asshole until he finally gave up. _Spira Travels_ had all sorts of cool exotic animals and fiends on their showcase. She remembered going once as a little girl and being scared to death of everything. Rikku was completely sold on the idea when she read that they had a chocobo exhibit. Paine loved chocobos'! The other day they were talking on the phone while Paine was watching some documentary on the food service industry. She got all pissed off and moody after a particularly graphic scene involving a baby choco.

It was proof that there was a very soft side to her hardened exterior, and Rikku liked that, she liked to think that Paine could be that way around her if no one else.

"Okay so first let's get some waters and ooh my digital camera right?" Rikku asked as she handed Paine the map of the fair grounds. "You can be the navigator."

"Alright." Paine was actually pretty surprised at Rikku. This was an awesome idea, one that she would have done for her if the blonde hadn't beaten her to it. "You left it in the car I think." Paine said when she noticed Rikku was looking for something. "I'll go back for it."

"Do you remember where I parked?" Cause Rikku sure as hell didn't.

Paine took the keys out of Rikku's hand. "Yeah."

"Okay, I'm going to get the water."

##

"Hey, Rikks, check this out, they have—"

"S-Snakes!" Rikku jumped behind Paine and buried her head against her back.

Paine furrowed a brow and turned around only to have Rikku turn with her, staying behind her. "Ri… Rikks." Paine chuckled at her girlfriend's antics.

"Mommy look, that lady is afraid of a little snake." A little chubby boy with pasty skin and freckles laughed. His mother was on her cell phone.

"That's nice Luis." She waved him off.

Rikku poked her head from behind Paine and glared at the little boy. "Did you know that snake bites account for 78 percent of all childhood death in New Luca alone? Deaths."

The little boy all of sudden looked like he wanted to cry.

Paine looked over her shoulder surprised at Rikku. "My girlfriend is a bully." Paine laughed as she ushered her away.

"He was making fun of _me_."

"He's like what, seven? How old are you?" Rikku mumbled her response. "What? I didn't hear you."

Rikku laughed. "Twenty! Gosh."

Paine shook her head and was a little surprised when Rikku just took her hand. They had never held hands so publicly before. Paine held hers back and dared someone to look at them the wrong way.

##

"Paine!"

Paine turned around; Rikku had run off to the bathroom before they left the fairgrounds where the zoo had been put up. It was around four in the evening and Paine was bushed, but happy. She smiled as Rikku walked up to her with her hands behind her back; she was wearing this shy sort of girlish smile.

"You ready?" Paine asked wondering what she was up to.

Rikku nodded. "I got you something."

"I thought you said you were going to the bathroom?"

"I lied." Rikku shrugged and pulled out a small bouquet of purple and yellow flowers with one hand, and then a chocobo plushie with the other. "I hope you had fun today, Pai." She said as she outstretched her hands.

Paine smiled as she took them both from Rikku. "Aw, Rikks." She suddenly felt very girly and tried to hide her blush. She chuckled at the chcocobo plushie. It was wearing a little dark blue hoody with the hood up. "Is this me?"

Rikku laughed and stepped closer to her. "Yeah, they didn't have any leather jackets…" She shrugged cutely. "... Do you like it?"

Paine nodded and pulled Rikku closer to her not caring who saw the kiss she laid on her. Rikku was surprised at how quickly her heart had picked up. Usually it would take a second or two, but this was instant. Rikku put her left arm around Paine's waist and tried not to smash the flowers in Paine's other hand as she pulled her closer. Paine must have realized where they were because she pulled away prematurely. "Thank you."

Rikku was grinning like she won the lotto. "You're welcome."

##

The overwhelming emotion he felt when she walked into the room in her loose business suit and worn heels compared to nothing else. How many years? Her beauty was timeless, but oh how he longed to hear her voice.

The room was quiet as crimson eyes gazed fondly at maple brown.

He hated himself, but he hated her more.

She placed the old edition of The New Luca Times style section on his desk.

"It isn't." He dismissed.

She nodded. "I would know that face anywhere, Paul."

"It isn't, it can't be."

"Pa, I—" Lulu paused when she realized her father wasn't alone in his office. She had traveled all this way just so she could speak to him privately, so she could tell him. Lulu couldn't deal with the weight anymore.

She stood and grabbed the newspaper off of his desk; tucking it closely against her side. "Lulu…" She seemed impressed.

"Do we know each other?" Lulu asked politely. Why was she looking at her like that?

She shook her head and glanced back at Paul Moore. "No, we've never been introduced."

"Oh." Lulu nodded. She glanced at her father too. He wasn't looking at them. "I'm Lulu Moore… I suppose you knew that though…"

She simply nodded. There was something vaguely familiar about her silence. Lulu arched an eyebrow softly.

"You've grown up quite a bit."

Paul stood and cleared his throat. "Are we done here?" He asked, it was just too much seeing them together like this.

She turned to him wondering how after all these years he could still be the same person; change was constant. Change was what brought her back here. "I won't bother you again."

Lulu watched as the strange woman left her father's office in that ill fitting suit. She furrowed her dark brows at the walk, she knew that walk.

"Lulu dear, come please, sit down."

**AN: Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

Paine sighed with relief when Gippal pulled the tarp material off of her gift. "For a second I really thought you were going to put spinners on it."

Gippal chuckled. "I was this close." He put his thumb and pointer finger together as he stepped away from Paine's "new" car. "Happy Belated, Dr. P." He tossed her the car keys.

Paine caught them and grinned, Gippal had really outdone himself. She had given him a deadline, and like the trooper he was, it was finished. Well it looked finished at least. "Let's take it for a test drive."

##

"Did she say what he said?"

"No she didn't say much, just come over alright?"

Rikku grabbed her keys and headed out the door. "Uhuh…" She nodded as she made it to her car on the side of the street. "Yeah I'm on my wa—"Just the loud base of rap music confided by metal and two doors came cursing down her street.

Paine nodded at Gippal as they rounded the corner to Rikku's street. "The breaks work great!"

"What?"

"I said the breaks work!" Paine slowed down when she spotted Rikku near her car.

"Not till tonight!"

"What?"

Rikku furrowed her eyebrows. "What in the…" The navy blue two door with semi tinted windows came to a stop right beside her. She clutched her car keys uneasily. It wasn't until the passenger windows and the music was lowered that she laughed. "I'll be right there Yunie." She said hanging up with her cousin.

"Cid's girl! Get in man!" Gippal hopped out of the car and lifted the front seat.

"You guys can't play music that loud here, someone might call the cops." Rikku joked as she walked over to the car admiring the new paint job and body repairs. Paine had been so excited that morning to pick it up. She tilted her head to see Paine sitting in the driver's seat wearing her sunglasses. Rikku just laughed a little.

"Princess." She greeted with a little smile.

"Well aren't you two just too cool for school." Rikku said hopping into the small backseat. It had that new car smell and everything. "Pypo." She gripped the back of Paine's seat and leaned forward to press a kiss on her cheek.

"You like it?" Paine asked turning the music down further. Gippal hopped back into the car and closed the door. She stared at him until he buckled his seatbelt and then looked back at her girlfriend.

Rikku looked around at the deep gray interior, it fitted Paine well. A large smile tugged onto her lips when she noticed the hooded chocobo plushie sitting on the middle of the dash near the front window. "This isn't the same car." She must have missed a lot, because the only thing similar about the two cars was that they were both two doors and had blue paint on them.

"Yeah it is, check this out." Gippal nodded and reached a hand over Paine's arm to press a button.

"A sunroof?" Rikku laughed as the blue summer sky opened above her. "I don't even have a sunroof!"

"That's cause your old man is boring. Come to me when you want an upgrade."

Paine laughed. "Shut up." She had started to drive again. "Gippal thinks he is an automotive genius or something now."

Rikku laughed. "I'll let you know, Gip."

"Where were you going, I'll drive you." Paine motioned to the road ahead of them.

"Lulu's"

##

Paine was admiring the length of Rikku's hair at a distance.

"…And she just walks in and starts screaming and Lulu freaks out! Lulu! Freaks out!"

"I heard you." Paine nodded when Rikku turned to look at her. "Bitch is freaking out."

"I mean I know it's a lot, too much maybe, but this is my hair!"

"Told you I'd never trust her with a blade to my head." Paine shook her head.

"It looks perfectly okay, Rikku, you can't even notic—" Yuna was here too, Paine was kind of glad, she wouldn't know how to handle Rikku if she wasn't.

"She zugged me!"

Both Paine and Yuna began to chuckle at the hysterical blonde. "She zugged me, and I can't be mad because, she's pregnant." Rikku pouted as she went back brushing her hair in the mirror.

"I don't know why that's stopping you. You know she yelled at a little kid at the zoo, Yuna?" Paine asked from her spot on Rikku's bed.

"I didn't yell at him!"

"I'm not surprised." Yuna sighed and snatched the brush out of Rikku's hands. "Keep that up and you'll be bald." Rikku glared lightly at her cousin.

"I don't date bald girls." Paine warned. Yuna laughed.

Rikku snatched the brush back from Yuna and went into her bathroom. "You guys are not even funny."

Yuna turned to Paine and made a hand gesture towards the bathroom.

Paine grew confused. "What?" She asked quietly.

"Tell her she looks nice."

Paine nodded and then cleared her throat "Rikku! You look nice!"

"Shut up, you're just saying that!"

"See?" Paine shook her head as she went back to looking at the university's new recreation center pamphlet. She was going to be working the front desk tomorrow, which meant nothing but stupid freshman, asking stupid questions, that they could easily read for themselves, but they don't, because they are stupid.

"Can we look past your hair for a moment?" Yuna stepped closer to the open bathroom door, when she realized Paine was going to be of no help.

"Yunie, it's the first day of school…"

"Of college, Rikku, you'll be graduating this summer."

"Don't remind me." Rikku made a face and turned back to the mirror. She had no idea what was going to happen to her once she graduated. Last fall the plan had been so simple. She would graduate and then go to law school, and then take over the family business. But then Auron happened, and then Paine happened, and then she realized that the things she wanted before weren't at all what she wanted now. She glanced at her cousin.

Yuna saw it on her face and decided to tackle the easiest problem first. "Here, I'll fix it. C'mon." She went to sit on the edge of the bed and Rikku sat on the ground in front of her. "I'll just braid that area," She explained wondering why she hadn't thought of that before. What was one more braid and some crafty layering?

"Thanks Yunie."

The room fell quiet and then pretty soon sounds of the evening took over the silence. After Yuna was done she went over to Rikku's desk and sat down to look on her laptop. Rikku got up and crawled onto the bed to sit innocently beside Paine. "So don't you want to hear what really happened?" The blonde finally asked nudging Paine softly.

Paine turned and looked at Rikku. "Yeah, but I was going to wait till you calmed down first."

"Well I'm calm."

"What happened?"

"So she's doing my hair right?" Paine nodded. "And her mom just kinda bursts in the room and asks her if she's pregnant, just like that, right Yunie?"

Yuna nodded. "It was rather sudden, and I have to hand it to her, if I were cutting your hair I would have taken off a whole lot more than she did."

Rikku nodded. "So then Lulu is all like, how did you find out?"

"How did she find out?"

"You've never met Lulu's mother." Yuna shook her head.

"She's like… She's like the evil villainesses on cartoons, who are really pretty, but would kill a hundred and one puppies for their fur."

Paine made a face.

"Oh, don't listen to Rikku." Yuna shook her head. "But she is rather… Sharp."

"Like Lulu." Paine nodded not at all surprised.

"Yeah." Rikku nodded quickly. "But Lulu is capable of love… I think."

Yuna laughed. "Her mother is just very… very…."

"Very Lulu." Rikku nodded. "I mean Lulu is like a seven, her mom is like an eleven."

"On a scale from what to what?" Paine asked.

"From one to Lulu."

"You guys are confusing the hell out of me." Paine admitted.

"Anyway! So Apparently Lulu told her dad, and he asked her mother if she noticed anything off about her."

"So naturally she thinks she's pregnant." Paine said shaking her head.

Yuna nodded. "They get into an argument on who the father is, and Lulu just packs up and leaves."

"She didn't tell her it was Wakka?" Paine asked.

"Didn't have a chance to, She looked pissed. Right Yunie?"

"Right. Her mother really didn't give her a chance to say much."

"Then that's when you picked me up." Rikku poked Paine in the arm.

"Shit, that's rough. I should text Wakka. Wonder if he'll be at school tomorrow."

"He has to be right? Blitz showcase and all. He's the captain." Rikku reminded.

"It's going to be hard for them…" Yuna thought aloud. She really wished she could be there now, but she knew Lulu and Wakka had some things to work out.

Rikku remembered her cousin's worries. "But we'll be there right? Let's go see how she's doing at lunch."

She nodded. "That's a good idea. It's going to be overly crowded tomorrow anyway. Paine, would you like to come?"

"I have class from twelve to two thirty, and I don't like—" Rikku gave her a look. "I don't know Lulu that well… if anything I could see what Wakka's doing before I leave campus."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. We're gonna be aunties y' know, gotta start early." Rikku grinned.

Yuna chuckled. "Lulu was saying sometime around January or February. I hope everything is resolved long before then though."

"Aw, they should have a Valentines baby."

"Do you guys think they're ready?" Paine asked.

Yuna was quiet for a second. "I think that kid is going to have the two best parents in all of Spira."

Rikku nodded. "I hardly see them together but when I do, it's like… It's like you can feel the love between them. Lulu starts smiling and stuff, Wakka's so good for her. That little girl or boy is going to know love, and that's the most important thing for little babies y'know?" She smiled lightly at Paine. "That they are welcomed into this crazy world with lots of muja."

##

"And then I have Design 2…" Rikku whispered.

Paine picked her head up gently. "Not one?"

"I sent some of my stuff in and they said I could skip it."

"How come you didn't tell me?"

Rikku shrugged softly in the dark. "I wanted to see if I could do it."

"I knew you could." Paine whispered.

Rikku smiled and turned around in Paine's arms to face her. "I knew you knew. I just needed to know."

Paine nodded. "So you're going to go and kick ass."

"You can't kick ass at design class." Rikku chuckled softly.

Paine shrugged with a little smile on her face. "What else?"

"Well then lunch with Yunie. Then back on campus for Legal frame work 4, and then I'm done for the day."

"At four right?" Rikku nodded. "Me too."

Rikku grinned as she scooted closer to Paine. "Funny how that just happened to work out like that again this semester."

"I know, I think it's a sign."

"We should definitely get together." Rikku laughed a little before leaning her weight on her elbow and kissing Paine softly.

"I don't know, I think my girlfriend might get pissed." Paine thought aloud when they separated.

Rikku giggled. "What she won't know..." She planted another kiss on Paine's lips. She really couldn't help it, they were perfect. "C'mon, I've seen the way you look at me."

Paine chuckled and played along. "Her dad would kill me if I hurt her…"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "What's a little Paine for a little Rikku?"

Paine burst out laughing at that and Rikku tried to shush her while giggling. Cid didn't know Paine was over tonight. "You sure you haven't been smoking?" Paine whispered.

Rikku laughed and settled herself back down at Paine's side as Paine moved to lie on her back. "No, but something tells me this next week is going to make me want to." She placed a hand over Paine's stomach like she always did. "It's gonna be boring introductions after boring introduction…."

"At least you don't have to learn the scientific method every semester… It's like you would think if you made it to your senior year that you would learn it by then, and yet we spend a week on it every semester…" Paine sighed and shook her head at the ridiculousness of it all.

"You're such a nerd."

"Yeah well, you're such a blonde."

Rikku laughed quietly. "Paine you don't understand."

"You can't even notice it Rikku."

"Now it's going to grow uneven." Rikku reached a hand to her head but felt Paine's hand push it away. She laughed. "Let me take a chunk of your hair and we'll see if we make it to Thursday."

"My hair grows fast." Paine shrugged. "And speaking of Thursday I'm probably going to only see you for lunch y'know…"

Rikku frowned. "I know."

"So I mean, I didn't really have anything planned…"

Rikku looked up at Paine from her spot under her arm. "You like me like I like you right?"

Paine grew confused. "Yeah…"

"So then we'll have plenty of other anniversaries. Don't worry about it."

Paine nodded and smiled to herself. "Okay." They lay there quietly enjoying the last bit of freedom in the summer air. Rikku left her window ajar that called a calming breeze in every now and then. _What a summer_, they both thought. Paine took a deep breath and Rikku hugged her arm around her a little tighter. "You ready?" Paine asked.

"Honestly?"

"Sure."

"No." Rikku lifted her head to get a better look at Paine in the dark. "Are you?"

Paine shook her head no. "One of us has to be though."

"I vote you."

Paine made an amused noise just short of a chuckle. "Me it is."

##

"Look at them…" Paine shook her head and narrowed her eyes at the sea of new lost faces.

"You were a freshman once, Paine." Rikku reminded her as she hiked her backpack onto her shoulder. "Be nice."

The day was bright and clear. You couldn't help but be optimistic about the school year when the sky was so blue. Rikku still felt a little anxious, but just as promised Paine was as cool as a cucumber. It helped to balance her nerves. The last time she had been on campus Auron had followed her to her car to give her Paine's file. Paine's birthday was right around the corner, and her father and Leblanc were still together.

Paine shook her head. "I tested out of freshman year."

They began walking toward the center of campus. "The whole year?" Rikku asked surprised. Paine nodded as she adjusted her leather messenger bag. "Well you must have been lost before."

"I don't get lost."

Rikku chuckled. Coffee?" Rikku asked motioning to the student coffee house where they shared their first real conversation. The thought brought a smile to her face.

"No I gotta run. I will see you this afternoon though."

Rikku nodded and chuckled when Paine started walking off. She grabbed the strap to her leather bag and pulled her back gently. "Really, that's it?"

"Bye?" Paine asked and then stiffened when Rikku pecked her lips.

Sensing something was wrong Rikku pulled away and examined her a minute. "You had no problem kissing me this morning."

"We weren't on campus with fifty thousand people to judge us."

Rikku nodded and let go of the arm she was holding gently. "I'll see you this afternoon then, _Pal_."

Paine sighed. She didn't mean it that way. "Rikku…." But she was already walking off into the sea of students. Paine kicked the air gently and turned to head towards her first class.

##

"Whoa, am I glad to see you." Tidus said when he saw Paine walk into work later in the day. "Hurry up. These phones are ringing off the hook!"

"Don't rush me." Paine said in her normal don't fuck with me voice.

She wasn't really in the mood.

Rikku was ignoring her.

Well, her texts at least.

Paine sighed when she realized she had to be pleasant and deal with people today. She changed into her navy blue school polo and was on her way to sit beside Tidus when someone stopped her.

"Hi, do you work here?"

No she was just wearing the shirt cause it brought out her eyes.

Paine nodded. "Do you need help with something?"

"Cool, so look my mom and dad wanted to sit in some classes with me during our orientation and well…."

She looked like the type to have already owned three cars by 18. Her hair was bleached blonde and she had blotchy pale skin like she might have been a little late in hitting puberty. She tried to cover it up by wearing layers of makeup, she was fooling no one.

Nothing at all like her beautiful girlfriend…

_Who isn't talking to you_, Paine reminded herself.

Paine nodded and decided to give the girl a chance. She wasn't the one ignoring her after all. "There is a parent orientation going at the same time that covers most of the same in—"

"But why can't they just come with me?" She asked.

Paine stared at her for a second. "Because, there are sections that they do not need to go over, and materials passed out that—"

"Okay well what about my little sister?"

"Is she currently enroll—?"

"No, she's my _little_ sister, duh." The girl rolled her eyes at Paine.

Paine clenched her jaw and then relaxed it. "Did you receive the packet they sent out with your acceptance letter explaining the parameters and guidline—"

"Oh that thing?" She flipped her hair. "No, we were supposed to read that?"

"Yes."

"Well I didn't and… All my other friends are in there already." She motioned to the large basketball court where a group session for orientation was going on. "I wanna be in there, in that one, not the one after it."

Paine sighed. "Okay well come with—"

"And I want to—"

"Can you let me finish a fucking thought?" Paine asked surprising the girl.

She blinked. "You're not supposed to talk to students like that." She spoke with her finger waving at Paine.

Who the fuck did she think she was?

"Look." Paine clenched her fists, "This is your fault for not reading everything, and if you had, you would know everything I was trying to tell you. Get your fucking hand out of my face before I break it." She warned. Paine pointed to the gym entrance. "Sign in with someone up front, no you can't bring anyone with you, this is fucking college not preschool, and if you have any other _smart_ questions that weren't already stated on the school website, the flyers you got in the mail, the orientation you're about to attend or, your peer advisor, then go see the blonde headed guy at the front desk. Okay?

She nodded.

"Good." Paine nodded and calmed down a little. "Welcome to NLU."

##

"… We are only meeting here for the first two lectures. By Friday we'll be in studio 245, so be ready…."

He smiled lightly; the girl beside him had been fussing over a braid in her hair almost the entire lecture. "I like your hair." He whispered.

Rikku looked up from paying attention, to the boy sitting beside her. She sent him a small smile. "Thanks." She turned back to listen to what the Art and Design 2 syllabus looked like.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like an artist."

Rikku turned again and looked at the boy again. He had smooth dark skin and short brownish blonde hair, hazel eyes, and very white teeth. He was wearing a sleeveless NLU shirt which exposes his muscular arms. "Don't take this wrong way, but you don't." She whispered back.

He chuckled a little. "What do I look like then?"

Rikku looked him up and down again. "A blitzer."

He nodded and outstretched his large hand. "Brandon Lawrence, striker for the NLU Jr Goers, at your service."

Rikku nodded and shook his hand. "Rikku Bayla. I don't play any sports."

"You can call me Buddy." Buddy smiled at how dainty her hands were.

"Buddy?"

"It's what everyone's been calling me, even my Sus..I mean mom." He self consciously corrected himself.

"You're Al bhed." Rikku smiled.

Buddy nodded. "Half, but I'd say that's enough, right?" Rikku shrugged. "Wait… Bayla, you wouldn't happen to be related to Kirill Bayla, of the Psychs?"

She nodded. "He's my older brother."

"That's awesome, so you like the game then?"

"Of course."

"So I should see you at some of our games this season for sure then?"

"Oh definitely, I have to support my Tubs and future cousin in law."

Buddy grew confused. "You know some of the guys?"

"Wakka, and Tidus."

"Captain Wakka?" Buddy seemed impressed. Most of the guys were intimidated by him. Out of all the blitzers on the team there was the most talk of him going pro.

Rikku nodded. "He's my _good friend's_ roommate." Rikku rolled her eyes and checked her phone again.

Buddy nodded with a little smile. "Cool."

##

She recognized them.

"I hear she's pregnant now or something."

"Well I heard that they were both caught doing it in his office."

They sat in front of her and Paine during Auron's class last year. They even worked on a project together during her freshman year.

"I heard he's in jail, I can't believe it, Professor Gaurrd was awesome, I bet it wasn't even his fault."

"She did kind of dress like a slut."

She was just about done for the day; she wanted to grab a Teddy Berry from Jambi Juice before heading off to meet Paine by her car until this stopped her.

She had a few classes in the law building, and Rikku had been getting looks all day. Looks she chose to ignore, people were going to think whatever they wanted, but that was okay because what you thought and what you said were two different things entirely.

She was never mean to anyone, she never gave anyone attitude or talked bad about people. She kept to herself while on campus unless she was with Yunie and their fashion friends. Rikku felt she was a good person, and with everything that she went through this summer she felt like she was a stronger person too. So why did it hurt? Why did it make her feel like so inadequate? These girls didn't even really know her, what gave them the right?

Rikku sighed heavily when she realized what she had done.

##

Paine cleared her throat and straightened her posture when she noticed Rikku approaching her car. She couldn't quite read the look on the blonde's face which probably meant she was still upset with her.

"Hey Rikks, listen I—" Paine stopped short and grew confused when Rikku walked right up to her and wrapped her arms around her tightly without saying anything. "Um…" It wasn't until she felt her girlfriend shake a little that she realized something was very wrong. Paine quickly put her arms around Rikku not caring who saw them in the parking lot. "Baby what's wrong?"

Rikku just held Paine tighter; she had missed her soft skin, the way she smelt. Rikku realized that the world sucked today, and she needed a hug from the one person who understood more than everyone else. Paine had said it before, but she couldn't really know until she was at the receiving end. It seemed everyone knew, those three girls were just the icing on the cake of shame. She wasn't going to cry, but she just felt like no one would listen if she tried to explain, no one but Paine."I'm sorry."

Paine grew even more confused. "You're sorry?" Rikku nodded while still holding on. "I'm the one who messed up…"

Rikku shook her head and pulled away to see Paine's face. "It's okay."

Paine shook her head; no she wasn't off the hook that easy, Rikku had to hear her apology she had been working on all day. "No it's not, I always say I don't care what people say or think, and then this morning you were just being sweet. _I'm_ sorry." Paine leaned down to kiss Rikku but was pushed away gently.

"Paine."

Paine shook her head slowly. "I don't…"

Damn that hurt.

Rikku grew anxious. "It's not that I don't want you to kiss me…"

And Paine grew defensive. "So what is it then, because this morning I don't remember pushing you away…" Paine crossed her arms.

"I just…" She honestly didn't know what compelled her to do it, but the look on Paine's face told her she had better figure it out real quick. "Everyone knows, Paine…"

"Knows what?"

"About Auron. That I had something to do with him being gone."

"Did you tell them the part where he tried to rape you? Or you just let them talk their shit."

She still flinched at the word. "Look I'm just saying that this morning I didn't understand…" She looked down at her shoes. "I was naive to think that everyone views a situation the same."

"Is that what we are? A situation?"

"No, Paine, Yevon c'mon, you know what I want." She gave Paine a look that asked her to stop fighting her. "I understand why you were hesitant is what I'm saying, I've been a jerk today is what I'm saying." Rikku reached for Paine's forearm. "I've missed you today is what I'm saying."

They locked eyes and Paine sighed quietly. "I missed you too."

Rikku smiled. "So c'mere and show me."

Paine was pulled gently into a lingering kiss before she pulled away softly. "Rikks you're confusing me. What was that?"

Rikku shrugged realizing what she had done. "I couldn't help myself." The truth was that she forgot about time and space when she was with Paine. "Today was hard…"

Paine nodded. "The only reason I was like that this morning is because I knew what you would be coming back to, and I know you aren't completely okay…"

They both knew it.

Rikku sighed and looked around them. "Yeah…"

##

Paine dragged herself from the shower and under the covers of her bed.

There was no way she could do this three days out of every week out of the entire semester.

She had to though, she needed the money.

Her eyes had just closed when her cell phone rang. She groaned and contemplated not answering it, but really who else would be calling her?

"Hmm?"

"Did I catch you in time!" Rikku asked cheerily.

Paine reminded herself to check the level of the glass candy container the next time she was over.

"Yeah…"

"You want me to let you go you sound real sleepy."

Paine cleared her throat and began to sit up. She hadn't spoken to Rikku literally all day. "No, no, I'm awake."

"Hiii."

Paine smiled tiredly."Hey Rikks."

"How was your day?"

"How was yours? Mine was boring."

"It was alright. Better than the first one, and better than Tuesday. At least Tuesday I got to see you."

"I know it sucks right?"

"I miss summer already. Blah."

Paine chuckled. "Well the weekend is coming up, and it's still nice outside."

"We should go play baseball!"

Paine smiled. "We haven't done that in a while…"

"Yea let's totally do it. Then the beach on Sunday. Did you hear that Wakka is surprising Lulu by taking her there? Kind of de-stress her a little. What with the job, the parents, the baby thing, the new apartment too… So we'll all be there. That's cute right?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah he told me something about it. He's been moving all week though."

"You gonna be sad not having him around?"

"Who am I going to go to the gym with when I can?"

"You can go with me!"

"No offense, but you can't keep up." Rikku huffed making Paine laugh a little. "You can't."

"I know I know, gosh."

"How was painting today?" Paine was really happy that she had taken her advice and enrolled in a class.

"It's called Art and design, Paine Amelia."

"Oh wow, excuse me."

Rikku chuckled. "It was fun; we're still in the lecture hall. On Friday we go to the actual studio and do our first assignment."

"Cool."

"Hey, do you know a Buddy?"

"Do I know a guy named Buddy?"

Yeah."

Paine shrugged and then remembered that they were on the phone. "No… Why?"

"No, nothing, he's in my class and he's on the blitz team, I thought maybe Wakka would have hand him over or something."

"Nah, Wakka's a pretty private guy, I bet his teammates don't even know about him being a dad soon."

"He's so sweet though. Y'know I saw him on campus yesterday. He was all like How's it goin' ya? I love his accent, it makes me laugh."

Paine chuckled a little. "Yeah he's a good guy." She decided that sitting up was the only way to be able to stay awake during the conversation. "How are the rest of your classes?"

"The math one is okay, we're learning some preliminary logic things."

"Ah so like truth in values and statements…"

"Yeah I hope we get to the fun stuff soon."

"You will."

"What about you, Pypo…" Paine secretly loved when she called her that. Her accent was too much sometimes. "How's life?"

Paine chuckled. "Life?"

"Mhm."

"Life is okay, I'm always tired though. Friday I have to leave campus early so I can go to the doctors."

"Has the pinching feeling come back?"

"Yeah a little."

"Poor thing."

"I know I'm completely useless. I can't eat or anything." Paine joked.

"I'd feed you if you got really sick, Pai."

"I know you would. I don't deserve you." Paine said quietly; shy at her own ability to express herself.

"Aw." Rikku smiled as she turned over on her bed to look at the little rubber duckling. "You know what tomorrow is right?"

"Of course I do, a month ago tomorrow I got shot."

"Yeah well that too."

Paine laughed. "It's our one month anniversary."

"Yup."

"Do we really have to celebrate every month?"

"Uh, Yes. How am I supposed to know when you're going to do something stupid like that again? We should celebrate every day!"

##

"Paine hey!"

Paine sighed and continued walking. "What _Lailac_?"

They had been texting. Paine wasn't trying to avoid him, it was just that she was looking for an okay time to ease him and Gippal into the friendship territory, besides right now she had exactly 15 minutes to go off campus and get Rikku's gift before her next class started.

"Damn where you going in such a hurry?" Baralai finally caught up to her.

Paine pulled out her car keys. "The toy store, wanna come?"

##

"You two make me sick."

Tidus and Yuna laughed. "I can give you a kiss too." Tidus offered Rikku as he slung an arm around her shoulders and Yuna's.

Yuna laughed. "Uh, no you can't." She pulled him away from her cousin while shaking her head. Tidus laughed and placed another kiss on Yuna's cheek for good measure.

"Where is Doctor Hurt anyway?" Tidus asked. The three were heading for lunch and then going to chill by the school's central fountain. "Aren't you two supposed to be extra lovey dovey today?"

Rikku nodded. "Paine's in class all day, and then you and her work later remember?"

"No we don't." Tidus shook his head.

"What?"

"Yeah we don't work together at all today, I work later, Paine has off remember?"

Rikku nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

##

Later that night after a few hours spent in the library studying and looking up something Paine pulled up along Rikku's street, but parked a few houses away. She checked the time and then called Rikku.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Princess. I'm on my break thought I would call." Paine picked up the small pink gift bag and checked her appearance before gently closing her car door and manually locking it.

"You're on your break?" Rikku was in her attic.

"Yeah, I thought I would call and wish you a happy anniversary."

"You called me this morning."

"I know, but I just thought I'd do it again."

"Uhuh…"

"I was thinking that maybe when I get off work you would want to hang out." Paine climbed the steps to her house.

"Paine…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

Paine blinked. "No..."

"Then why did you lie to me about having work tonight?"

Paine fell quiet and reminded herself to kick Tidus in the pants the next time she saw him. "Because I wanted to do something."

"Well… I mean, you're a grown woman you can do whatever you want. I really don't like being lied to though, especially by my girlfriend, especially on our first ann—"

Paine chuckled. "Rikku come downstairs and open the front door."

"…What?" Rikku put her pencils down and ran toward the attic window. She looked down and saw Paine's silhouette under the porch light. Rikku hung up the phone and ran into her room. She didn't think she would be seeing Paine tonight, so she had dressed rather frumpily in sweats and a random white shirt with paint stains on it.

Not sexy at all.

Paine stared at her phone. "Did she just hang up on me?" She asked herself aloud before dialing Rikku again.

Rikku was tripping over her shorts that she was changing into and fixing her hair at the same time when she heard her cell phone ringing again. "Yeah?" She picked up.

"This thing where I surprise you only works if you open the door."

"I know I know, I'm coming. Wait… is Pops car here?"

"You don't even know if you are home alone?" Paine asked shaking her head looking onto the drive. "No."

"I was in the attic. Okay and I'm coming." Rikku hung up and checked her refreshed appearance before going downstairs. When she opened the door her smile grew. Paine was standing there with a pink gift bag with green decretive tissue sticking out from it, she was wearing a thin gray long sleeved shirt and black pants.

"Well it's about time." Paine joked.

"You're such a meanie, I thought you really lied to me. Here let me get that." Rikku said taking Paine's leather jacket from over her arm.

"I did lie to you." Paine reminded her with a small laugh.

"I know but, I thought you were off doing who knows what… Is that mine?" Rikku asked excitedly when she noticed the bag again.

Paine shrugged and took off her shoes. "Maybe."

"We both know it is."

Paine gently kicked her shoes to the side next to a pair of Rikku's flip flops and Cid's house shoes. "Yes, Princess it's for you. But uh, where's mine?"

Rikku frowned. "You said not to get you anything, so I didn't. I knew I should have never listened to you."

Paine could tell she was beating herself up a little about it. "It's okay I was just teasing, being here with you now when I thought I couldn't be is good enough."

"People just say that to be nice." Rikku pouted. "Paine…"

"You want to give me something? Fine, I'm kind of hungry…"

Rikku nodded quickly. "I'll make you a Panini!" She took off for the kitchen and Paine chuckled. She went into the den and put the gift bag and her cell phone down before going into the kitchen after Rikku. "I'm only putting a little bit of meat on here…" Rikku warned, she was already assembling the sandwich, and the Panini press was already plugged in.

"I can eat meat now though." She was counting down the days until she could have a cup of coffee.

Rikku paused and added a slice more of ham. "Still…"

Paine watched as Rikku pilled on the vegetables with a little smile. She was always looking out for her. Sometimes it was annoying, but most of the time Paine liked it. It meant she cared, and having that was something she could definitely get used to.

##

Paine pushed aside her plate and reached for the gift bag. Sensing that the moment had finally come Rikku quickly lowered the volume of the TV and turned on the couch to face Paine. "Now it's not anything fancy or nothing…" Paine began suddenly becoming a little shy.

Rikku found it cute. "That's okay."

Paine nodded. "But you said you wanted one so…" Paine handed the bag over to Rikku. "Oh, read the card first."

"Pypo, you got me a card too? Now I feel horrible."

"It's okay, I wanted to do this."

"But—"

"Just read the card damnit." Paine laughed. She turned her body on the couch so she was facing Rikku.

The younger woman dipped her hand into the gift bag blindly and pulled out what felt like a card. She chuckled at the cute cartoon on the front wishing her a happy anniversary. She opened it and smiled at Paine's script, and read aloud. "Dear Princess, that's me." Paine laughed a little. "I spent an hour in the school library looking up sentimental things to write for you to fill up this blank space, but nothing seemed personal enough and they all sounded stupid to me." Rikku chuckled. "Aside from being shot, this has had to be the happiest month I've had in a while. You make everything feel better." Rikku choked up a little at that last line, it was a very Paine way of saying just how she felt about her.

"Keep reading."

Rikku nodded and looked back down at the card. "…I only hope that I do the same for you. I know I can't change the past, and the future is something that we're both scared of. I can promise that I'll try my hardest to be everything you need of me and more so we can make it through all these changes together, but you don't like me promising things, so I'll just show you instead. Happy First Anniversary, Rikks, Paine." Rikku looked up at Paine with glossy eyes. "Baby…"

"You like it?"

Rikku leaned closer to her on the couch. "I loved it." She whispered before placing a heart tugging kiss on Paine's lips. She smiled adoringly at her after pulling away an inch. "Thank you."

"No problem." Paine whispered back. Damn, she should start writing her feelings down a lot more often! she rubbed Rikku's arm when she got that look in her eyes like a distant storm or something. "You okay?"

Rikku nodded. "It's just that no one has ever written for me like that?" She sniffled quietly while wondering what the hell was wrong with her.

"Here." Paine picked up the forgotten gift bag and pushed it toward Rikku. "You forgot the actual gift." Even if they were happy tears welling, Rikku crying was something that Paine didn't like to see.

Rikku nodded and reached her hand in the bag again and let out a breathless laugh when she pulled out the gift. "You got me a puppy?"

Paine nodded and scooted close so she was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Rikku. "Yeah see it's a digital pet, and it goes on your key chain, so y'know you don't forget to take him out for walks I guess." Paine shrugged and Rikku laughed. "But you said you wanted a puppy really bad, so I got one for you… Sorta."

"This is so cool, Pai." Rikku looked to her left and pecked Paine's cheek quickly before going to work on getting the hard plastic undone. Paine smiled proudly to herself.

After some attempts from Rikku and a few from Paine, the ridiculously plastic protected toy was open and the two were reading the directions.

Rikku sighed heavily as she watched Paine; all she wanted to do was play with the damn thing not read a novel on it. "We don't need them!" She gave up and pressed a random button. "Look he's eating, I just fed him." Rikku showed Paine the little silver pod where a screen was on the front face. A digital floppy eared puppy was making cute barking noises.

Paine went back to reading the directions that came with it. "Rikku you haven't even named it or anything, it says here that he can't grow up without a name…" Lame rule, but she didn't build the thing.

"That means he'd stay a puppy forever right?"

Paine shrugged flipping a page. "I guess…" This was a rather extensive instruction manual for a kid's game.

"Good!"

"Yeah, but the object is to raise a puppy to an old dog…See?" She showed her the mission mode section of the instructions. "…After naming your DigiPet you can now begin the adventures of blah blah blah. You have to name it to win."

Rikku waved Paine away as she pressed on one of the three power command buttons under the screen. "I don't wanna win." She chuckled to herself as the little puppy was taken for a walk through the eyes of the dog. "This is so cool…" She repeated completely captivated by the little black and white screen.

Paine just sighed and put the directions down. "Fine, but when whatever his name is gets sick or needs shots, I'm not telling you how to do it."

Rikku turned and looked at Paine shocked. "You'd let Little Puppy get sick and die?"

"You can't call him Little Puppy forever."

"I can if I don't name him, because according to that thing." She motioned to the instruction manual on the coffee table. "He stays a puppy until I name him… Which I won't."

"Fine, but he'll stay a sick puppy, and then puppy protective services will come and take him away."

Rikku looked horrified now. "They have that on this thing?"

"How would you know? You didn't read the instructions." Rikku jumped for the booklet but Paine was just too fast. A struggle began.

"Give it or I'll kick you in your back!" Rikku chuckled as she lunged for it in Paine's hands.

"That's real fucked up." Paine laughed as she held it far out of Rikku's reach.

"Not as fucked up as you not taking an active role in this parenting thing."

Paine laughed and pointed to the little key chain pod in Rikku's hand. "That is not my sick ass puppy."

"You bought it. You helped me open the package, _you_ are a parent." Rikku leapt forward and missed.

"Well then I should have a say as to if we name it or not right?" Paine paused trying to keep the packet away from Rikku. "Am I wrong?"

"Yeah see, yes you are, because technically. You gave it to me, relinquishing your naming rights… Yeah." Rikku nodded and jumped for the booklet in Paine's hand. She grabbed it and stuffed it down her shirt with a triumphed grin.

"You really think I'm going to have a problem getting that?" Paine asked while shaking her head.

Rikku chuckled. "You won't if I say not to."

"So say it."

"…."

They both jumped up at the same time; Rikku running and Paine chasing after her. Rikku squealed with laughter as she felt Paine's arms wrap around her stomach and pull her before she could run up the stairs. "Paine, your back!" She laughed as the taller woman carried her back to the couch in the den.

"Alright." Paine put her hands on her hips after setting Rikku down. "I'm gonna ask you once nicely because you are my girlfriend and I do respect your boobs rights to remain anonymous."

Rikku hugged herself up into a little ball on the sofa.

"Give me the book…"

"That wasn't nicely!"

"Give me _my_ book please." When Rikku didn't respond Paine raised an eyebrow as if giving her a last out before placing her right knee on the couch beside Rikku's curled up body and leaning forward. "I'll give you to the count of three."

Rikku couldn't help but laugh. "Paine it's mine."

"One."

Rikku hugged herself tighter and kicked away Paine's knee.

"Two."

They're eyes were glued on one another's. Rikku's an electric green and daring, and Paine's nothing but mischievous.

Rikku grinned. "You wouldn't."

"Three!"

Paine climbed on the couch and grabbed Rikku's sides and began to tickle her causing Rikku to laugh as she tried to fight her off.

"Al—Alright! Paine stop!" Rikku was crying she was laughing so hard.

"What?" Paine asked pretending not to hear her. "Keep going?"

"You're so dead!" Rikku laughed as she tried to squirm off the couch. Paine let the weight of her body hold them on the edge though. Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and applied a playful amount of pressure. "C'mere!" Paine chuckled and tried to pull away, but Rikku had a firm hold. She managed to pull away enough to be a few inches from Rikku's face. As their eyes locked all struggle and tickling stopped.

Rikku smiled at Paine with her eyes as Paine hovered over her for before leaning down a little to touch her lips to Rikku's chin. One of Rikku's hands moved to Paine's cheek and they just stared at each other for a second again.

"You're so beautiful." Paine mumbled causing Rikku to blush. "I wish you knew." Staring at Rikku like this made it difficult to filter herself. She was learning that around Rikku it didn't matter, the blonde would like her just as much, maybe even more, if she wasn't always trying to hide what she was thinking. She leaned down and touched her lips to the very tip of Rikku's nose. "And cute, you're cute too."

Rikku smiled. "Well you have these eyes…" She traced her fingertips on the dip right after Paine's eyes. "They're superdeeduperdee sexy."

Paine chuckled softly. "Superdeedduperdee?"

"Yeah, like super duper, but… Feminine." Rikku chuckled a little at how she made no sense sometimes. "But they're also warm, I feel like you are giving me a hug sometimes when you look at me." Paine smiled lightly and let Rikku's finger trace the bridge of her nose and then her lips. " And when you smile Pypo? Right here wrinkles up a little, it's adorable." Rikku tapped a finger gently against her nose, near her eyes. "I just wanna put you in a baggie and take you places with me!" Rikku joked in a cutesier voice.

Paine laughed. "I'm not a jelly bean."

"Aww!" Rikku wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "My lil jelly bean!"

"No." Paine shook her head laughing as she was being hugged. "No way in hell."

Rikku pouted. "Well what am I going to call you then?"

"Ri, you have like fifteen other names besides my own."

Rikku shook her head lessening her grasp on her girlfriend. "I don't see your point."

Paine chuckled. "Anything besides My… lil jelly bean." She made a face.

Rikku laughed at how it looked like it was painful to say. "Puddin' cup? Rice cake?"

"Are you hungry or something?" Paine asked. She adjusted her weight a little so she wasn't crushing Rikku. "Nothing with food!"

"It's the only way I can express how I feel! I like to eat and sleep and paint and draw and… I can't call you my lil easel now can I? No."

"Why do I have to be little, I'm bigger than you."

"You are not bigger, you're taller, that's it. I bet we wear the same size pants… Oh, but you're torso is just wider…"

"Are you calling me fat?"

Rikku laughed "Noo gosh, I know how you models get when people say the F word."

Paine shook her head ignoring the models comment. Yuna and Rikku both had been dropping hints all week. "But you have a little more ass…"

"You checkin' me out or something Kerrigan?" Rikku smirked. She already knew the answer, Paine swore she was smooth about it, she wasn't at all.

Paine shrugged lightly. "Maybe a little, I can't help it though."

"Mmm." Rikku leaned in closer to her and they shared a light kiss. She liked the way Paine's body felt on hers like this. It made her hyper aware of everything Paine did.

Just then the front door could be heard opening. "… And you can understand my initial reaction of course. I mean, she's not a child, she's a young woman. I can't tell her what she and the idiot can and can't do. Even though he's an idiot."

Cid chuckled. "You have t stop calling him that."

Cid and Braska paused when they walked into the den and noticed Paine and Rikku. They were sitting close, but both were looking at the TV intently with their hands to themselves. Why was the volume so low? Cid cleared his throat and the two pretended to have just noticed them.

"Oh Pops, hya." Rkku smiled innocently."Uncle B."

Paine scratched the back of her head and hoped she wasn't blushing. "Hey."

Braska shook his head with a little laugh and Cid raised an eyebrow. "Milan, what is in your shirt?"

Rikku looked down to her shirt where the little booklet was still sticking out. "Oh this... This is just, um, a book." She pulled it out and nodded to herself as she flipped through a few pages. "Yeah, it's definitely a book."

##

"_Brother! Brother, give it back!" A little Rikku chased after her brother in her fuzzy yellow pajamas early one morning after breakfast. _

"_No way, too slow."Kirill laughed as he ran around the table. _

"_Give it back give it back give it—" A loud crash was heard and then little Rikku began to cry._

_Kirill slowed down and looked behind him and felt his stomach flip when he saw his little sister sitting on the ground around shards of glass and the breakfast china. She knocked into the table, causing the cleaned dishes on it to fall and crash on her. He dropped the ball they were fighting over and ran to her side. "Rikku! Rikku!"_

"_Fryd'c kuehk uh eh rana?" A woman with deep blonde hair tied back rushed into the small dining room. "Milan!"_

"_Sus Sussy, She fell it's all my fault!" Kirill ran into his mother's apron and tugged on her. "I'm sorry, look, look she's crying Moma!"_

"_Pa lyms cuh." She quickly scooped up a crying Rikku._

"_Mommy…" Little Rikku sniffled violently. _

"_Oh Rikku Milan." She smiled softly at her daughter's wide eyes. She was probably more spooked than hurt. "Mad sa caa fryd rind so meddma zafam. Femm oui mad susso caa?" Little Rikku's lip trembled as she put out her two hands palm up. _

"_Ed rindc…"_

_She examined the small little cuts on each hand carefully and thankfully they were more of scratches than cuts. But there was a bit of blood too. "Let's get you cleaned up."_

"_Does it hurt?" Kirill whispered that night. He had basically crawled onto Rikku's smaller bed to say he was sorry._

_She was balled up under her small blanket and was wearing her fuzzy pink pajamas tonight. "No…"_

"_Did Momma say you were in trouble?"_

"_No…"_

"_Are you mad at me?" He asked nervously. He was only five, but somewhere he knew it was his fault his little sister spent the whole day quiet and playing by herself. He was supposed to be looking out for her, and now look at what he did._

"_No Kiwill…"_

"_I got you dem cookies…" Kirill quickly got off her little bed and ran to his across the room to go under his pillow. The lemon cookies their grandmother would make and bring over was Rikku's favorite. He had begged his father to take him to see her that afternoon when Rikku was napping. _

_Little Rikku perked up. "Yeah?"_

_Kirill ran back over and handed her the small baggie. "And you can have diss ball if you want it still…" He placed the ball they were fighting over on her bed as well. "I'm sorry I made you fall."He apologized while tugging on his shirt nervously. _

"_I'm sorry I called you a poopie face."_

"_That's okay." _

_They hugged._

"_You want some of my cookies?"_

Rikku woke up and smiled to herself. No matter what, he would be the same Kirill to her. She knew he loved her; it was just that time had made things difficult; it had also changed them both. She just hoped deep down he was the same person, because if he was, then all he would care about was her happiness, and as Rikku turned over in her bed and cuddled against her pillow wishing it were her girlfriend, she realized that she was. She was happy regardless of everyone's opinion, she was happy with how far she had come in such a short amount of time.

##

She could tell it was going to be one of those days the moment she opened her eyes.

She was done being this person though.

She was changing and growing and thriving and it felt amazing.

So amazing.

Paine pulled herself up and tried to continue her morning routine with shaking hands.

She had actually gotten pretty good at ignoring the frequency of these episodes.

"Fuck." She cursed when her toothbrush fell out of her hand and into the sink.

That had done it.

Something so simple, something so okay had pushed her, and she didn't know what to do as her eyes welled up.

Paine gripped the corners of the sink and cursed again as she felt a familiar anger course through her. Why? Why was she here for this bullshit? If she was meant to do well, and be better, why was it so fucking hard sometimes? Why couldn't she be okay? Why couldn't she be normal like everyone else? Why? Paine needed to know. It was this urgent need for a reason, coupled with her body's confused desperation for a remedy that had her like this. She curled her right hand into a fist and banged it against the hard tiled surface.

Nothing

Was it some sort of twisted ironic joke that her name was the only thing she knew how to do right?

She banged her fist again, this time knuckles first.

Paine felt herself losing control and fought to hold herself steady.

Or was it because she could withstand it. She could take it, she was strong enough. Paine winced as she uncurled her hand slowly.

Sometimes she didn't want to be strong enough.

Sometimes she didn't want to be ashamed of her own tears. It was okay to cry, to feel. Rikku was teaching her this. But how long would it take? How long would this last? Should she get help?

No, she could do it herself.

"Its okay." she mumbled to herself as she slipped out of her underwear again. Maybe saying it aloud would help her better believe.

She would try anything at this point.

Paine got back into the ice cold shower and waited until she couldn't feel anything.

**AN: A little long, Lo siento :/ I've been having a rough week, but some reviews would definitely cheer me up! :) **

**KathleenDee**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

Rikku tossed her math book into the back seat of her car. She really wanted to toss it in the trash, but it was only the first week of school. Maybe she could get away with it next week. "Mhm, well I'm in the parking lot now… Oh." She moved her shoulder a little to adjust the phone being pressed to her ear. "Oh you parked in the other one today… Right. Well I have time if you want—" Rikku paused. "Mhm." She went back to grabbing her painting set and pencils. "I was just saying that if you wanted to say Hi real quick… Paine." She paused again. "Yeah but there is no need to get like that…" She sighed and locked her car. "Fine fine, I will see you later then… Alright, yeah bye." Rikku hung up her cell phone and stared at it for a second.

_Someone_ was in a mood today.

"Hey Rikku!"

Rikku looked up to see Buddy a few cars away, a brand new painters set tucked under his arms. Rikku waved to him as he walked over.

"Ready for class?"

##

"Are you cold?"

Paine shrugged lightly. "A little."

She was freezing.

She was also wearing two long sleeved shirts and her leather jacket at the end of summer.

Elma had black hair today; it contrasted heavily to her white coat to Paine.

"Have a seat, Dr. P, this only take a few seconds before your real doctor gets here."

Paine nodded and sat down on the paper covered examination bed. She took a steady breath and watched as her roommate sat down in a rolling stool and wheeled closer to her to take her vitals. She had never really seen Elma in her element before. Sure when she was admitted into the hospital Elma was the main one checking on her besides the nurses, but that was more of a friendly interaction than the very neutral manner she held now. She looked tired.

"Open your mouth." Elma directed. She stuffed a probe under Paine's tongue. "Okay close." Paine clamped down on the cool metal and watched as a few numbers came on the screen before Elma. The brunette…redhead— Paine sighed as she tried to figure out her actual hair color. "Okay." Elma went to sanitize the probe. "Vitals are looking a little shaky, which is a little odd…" Elma looked back at Paine's previous healthy numbers.

Paine coughed quietly. "Bad day."

Elma paused and nodded slowly. "Would explain your hand."

Paine curled her bruised knuckle self consciously. The space between them was one of understanding. Elma had moved in at the height of Paine's carelessness, she watched the climb, the fall, and the crawl. Paine trusted her silence, but she still didn't know what Elma thought about the whole thing.

"Do you want me to grab you some antiseptic for that?" She asked motioning to Paine's right hand with the pen she was writing with.

Paine shook her head no. "I still have some left over… From the last time."

"Of course." Elma nodded. She would admit to worrying about Paine, she didn't know why but she felt like they ought to look out for one another, living in a house with three men had forged this silent bond. She knew the moment her roommate walked into the room hugging herself while wearing three layers of clothing something was wrong. "Give me your arm." She was going to take her blood pressure now. Paine extended her left arm knowing the drill. "So how are things with the wife?"

Paine snorted at that. "You and Gippal share a bowl recently?"

Elma chuckled. "No not really, I've been so busy."

"Don't think I ever want to get married…" She honestly never put any thought into it because she honestly never thought she would make it to an age where it would be relevant.

"Not ever?" Elma looked up at Paine as the machine applied pressure to her arm. Paine shrugged. "I would like to one day."

"To a chef?"

"Have _you_ two been smoking together or something?" Elma chuckled.

"Can I with this thing? No, Joyce already gave me that talk, along with a few others…"

"Was self harm on the list?" Elma asked casually.

"Em."

"It's an unhealthy way of—"

"I got it."

"You shouldn't—"

"I said I've got it." Paine spoke over her a little more to drive the point home that she didn't want to talk about it. Just then a balding man in green scrubs came in and smiled at the two.

"How are we feeling today Ms. Kerrigan?"

##

Paine rested her head lightly on her steering wheel in the hospital parking lot.

She just needed a minute.

It all of a sudden felt like she weighed a hundred pounds heavier, and then got beaten up or something. Her body was sore and her moves lethargic. She checked the time on her phone and sighed before fixing her face and heading back to campus for work.

##

"Then she says that I need to go shopping! Like, my clothes aren't good enough all of a sudden or something y'know?" Tidus shook his head as he balled up another piece of paper with the first week of school welcome back events on it, and tried to shoot at the waste basket across the room. Paine would turn her rolling chair to see if he would make it every time. She didn't know why, he always missed. "You know what's hard? Dating a fashioinista, that's hard." He shook his head and glanced at Paine before balling up another piece of brightly colored paper. "I know it's much more to Yuna, but sometimes I just want to wear my crocks with my socks y'know?"

"You know what's hard?" Paine asked looking away from the computer screen where her take home assignment was sitting untouched.

"What?" Tidus turned in his chair excited that he finally, after at least two hours of talking to Paine, got her to respond.

"Hearing your squeaky voice for the past two hours and forty seven minutes. Please just shut the fuck up." She rubbed at her temples.

Tidus frowned and shrugged. "I'm only trying to make conversation, Paine."

"Don't."

And for five minutes the recreation center foyer was quiet.

Paine typed her name and stream number.

"... What's wrong anyway? How did yesterday go? Rikku not like the surprise?"

"She would have if she was actually surprised." Paine mumbled.

"I'm thinking about taking Yuna on one of my dad's boats for our three month, what do you think? You think she'd like that? Hey since Rikku and Yuna are kinda like sisters, that kind of makes us y'kno—"

"Tidus." Paine growled.

"Okay okay…" He sagged his shoulders. All he wanted was someone to talk to.

Paine reclined in her chair an hour later. She checked the time and then her messages; she had one picture message, and then a text. The picture message was from Gippal. Paine shook her head at the naked lady made out of fruit. She wondered if the restaurant partners knew that that's what he was doing with their money. The second was a text from Rikku received only a few minutes ago.

_**Yunie and I are getting Jambi Juice before heading home, Moooo?**_

Paine furrowed her brows in confusion and then let a small smile rip onto her face when she got what the younger woman was asking.

_**Nah Rikks, thanks tho**_

Paine felt like that was good enough, like it expressed her appreciation well enough. The truth was that it only worried Rikku a little more. Ever since introducing the Coco Moo to Paine, she had never refused one.

Ten more minutes passed. Paine glanced at Tidus who had started some assignment of his own, and was keeping very quiet. It was around seven, and they both still had a few hours, but they were senior here, they got paid the big bucks. Paine shook her head at the thought and perked up a little when she heard a familiar voice.

"…No no no, it's like…. Na na La uh huh Yunie."

Yuna chuckled at her cousin as she pushed the glass doors open to the recreation center. "I could have sworn there was no na na part."

"That's the hook!"

The two best friends slash cousins approached the front desk and blinked at their respected half's. Rikku placed the cardboard cutout drink holder down and handed Yuna the Banana Manna meant for Tidus. "Hya guys." She smiled.

"Hey Rikku." Tidus smiled getting up from his seat and walking over to place a hand on Yuna's and to take his drink. "You're a life savor babe."

Paine rubbed her face slightly and looked up at Rikku from her seat. "You got me one?" She asked looking at the brand new Coco Moo with the green straw sitting next to Rikku's already sipped on Teddy Berry.

"Of course I did. I knew you weren't in your right mind to refuse one." Rikku placed the drink down beside Paine and examined her face. Beside them Yuna and Tidus were already engaged in a conversation.

"Yeah, but I didn't want one." Paine stared at the drink. She was pretty sure if she drank it she'd be sick. It was her favorite, Rikku was right, but right now a sugar overload was the last thing her body needed.

"Is it because you went to the doctor today? What did Elma say?"

Paine knew that she was being irrational here, but it felt like Rikku was pushing this on her. I mean she would be an ass to refuse it now that she already bought it right? "Fine I'll drink it." Paine picked it up and then put it down again causing Rikku's frown to deepen.

"Well don't drink it if you don't want it, Pai."

"Well it's too late for that right? I already told you I didn't want it, but you got one for me anyway. So what the fuck? You want me to drink it or not?"

Tidus and Yuna paused and glanced at them.

"I want you to stop being so uptight." Paine rolled her eyes. "All day you've been dismissive and crabby, excuse me for trying to make you feel better."

"With something I didn't want." Paine reminded.

Rikku was getting upset now. Her feelings had already been hurt by Paine's tone. "Fine Paine. _Fine_." She threw her hands up lightly. "Don't drink it then." She had had a long day too!

"So why the hell did you—"

"Because I wanted to make you feel better, but it's obvious that all the hugs in the world couldn't do that right now! So do whatever you want with it." She shook her head at Paine and stormed off. "C'mon Yunie!"

Yuna gave Paine a look that just made her feel even worse. "I'll call you later." She planted a short kiss on her boyfriend's mouth and then hurried after the blonde. "Rikku it says pull!" Yuna called when she noticed her cousin fighting with the exit door.

Tidus sat back down in his seat and glanced at Paine. "She was just trying to be—"

"Really?" Paine asked looking at him as if he were crazy.

Tidus nodded and went back to his assignment.

##

Rikku opened the front door and crossed her arms. "I don't _want_ a visitor, so why are you here?"

Paine sighed.

The Bayla wrath was really something.

She had to disarm her quickly. "I came to talk, to apologize."

It was a dark and windy night and despite her right to be upset with Paine, she was more worried than anything else. Paine hadn't been sounding like herself all day, and she looked even worse. "It's late…" Rikku looked behind her into the dark house. For that second Paine was worried that she wouldn't allow her to talk, but took a sigh of relief when Rikku stepped aside. "Your shoes." She reminded. Paine nodded and took off her shoes by the door and waited for Rikku to lead the way upstairs.

Rikku's bedroom was warmer than usual, which prompted Paine to take off her jacket and her first layer. Rikku furrowed a brow at her. "It was like seventy something degrees today…"

Paine placed them gently on her desk chair and nodded. "I know."

"You didn't say anything about not feeling well." Rikku knew right out the gate what kind of girlfriend she didn't want to be. She knew that she wanted Paine to come and talk to her when things were bad, she didn't want to be walked all over, whether it be intentional or not. She wasn't that person anymore. So if Paine only knew how to argue to get a point across and hurt her feelings in the process they were in trouble. What surprised her though was that Paine didn't say anything; she sat on the edge of Rikku's bed, the side she usually slept on, and put her face in her hands.

Rikku quickly sat by her side and leaned down to get a look at her face. That's when she saw her right hand and knew. "Paine Amelia Kerrigan…."

"I know." Paine groaned. She was wound up so tight by this point that she felt like if she didn't say something or do something, she would lose it. She sighed and felt her right hand being pulled away.

"Again Baby?" Rikku asked softly looking up at diluted versions of Paine's warm eyes and then the reddish purplish bruises.

Paine only nodded. "I needed to."

"No you didn't."

"I did." Paine nodded.

She couldn't fight, she couldn't train, she couldn't get mad, she couldn't scream, she couldn't drink, she couldn't smoke. She needed some way. It only struck her as wrong when Elma tried to say something. It made her feel even worse when she looked at Rikku's deep emerald eyes. It was like she hit her instead of the tiled surface in her bathroom. Paine hung her head. "I'm sorry."

Rikku rubbed Paine's back gently with her left hand as she held her hand with her right. "When?"

They never talked about the punching bag incident. They never talked about it because neither knew how to handle it. Rikku couldn't ignore it anymore though, she knew nothing about whatever else Paine did and it scared her.

Paine ran her left hand through her hair and sniffled lightly surprising them both. "This morning." The helpless anger she felt then came back in small waves.

Rikku nodded slowly. "I thought you said it only happens at night…" Paine had opened up a while ago about sometimes feeling sick, or not being able to sleep. Rikku was foolish to believe something like this was controllable by one person though. It was clear as day that her inability to express herself in her usual forms resulted in this build up that would only get worse if someone didn't step in.

"This is the first time this has happened in a long time." Paine mumbled. She suddenly didn't feel worthy or Rikku's reassuring hands on her. She shrugged her off gently enough so that Rikku knew it wasn't her fault. "I've felt like crap all day, and I took that out on you. I'm sorry Rikks, I'm so sorry." She said looking directly at her girlfriend. "You're the last person I want to push away."

"Why couldn't you just tell me?"

Paine motioned to the blonde's desk. Rikku looked over and frowned. Her painters set and drawing pencils sat. She knew why now.

"I didn't want to mess up your day." Rikku had been going on and on about how excited she was about her first day in the studio for her design class. Paine knew that if her girlfriend of one month saw her, she would instantly know something was wrong. Paine was never able to refuse her eyes. So she avoided her like it was her job.

"Pai…" Rikku sighed.

"I know."

Pretty soon "I know" wasn't going to be good enough for Rikku. "Why did you do this?"

"Because I don't want you to…" Paine stopped herself. "You could have anyone—"

"Paine."

"No, just hear me out, you could have anyone, and yesterday when we were here together it made me feel… So good and important." Rikku wanted to smile at that. Yesterday was definitely up there on her favorite memories with Paine. "I know how you feel… and I just don't want to do anything to fuck it up. Alright? I don't want to fuck this up. I wanted you to have a nice day, and I knew that me being the way I was today wouldn't allow that."

"So you were distant." Paine nodded. "But I'm your girlfriend." Rikku shook her head. "Never mind that, I'm your friend, all the crazy that we've been through this summer? For what if I can't come to you and you can't come to me?" Paine lowered her head and Rikku reached for her chin to direct Paine to look at her again. "Huh?"

"Babe…"

"Answer me."

"It meant nothing then…"

Rikku nodded letting Paine's chin go and allowing her to hang her head again. "Right, it meant nothing then, so these feelings that I have here for you inside?" Rikku motioned to her heart. "They mean nothing then, and these cuts?" She picked up Paine's right hand. "They mean nothing then. So this apology means nothing then. Do you get me?" She needed Paine to hear her.

Paine nodded looking back up at Rikku. "Yeah."

"So which is it?"

Paine looked away and then back at Rikku. She knew the safe answer, and she knew how she really felt. "It means everything."

Rikku put her arm back around Paine's back. "So don't shrug me off like you're not worth my time, you mean everything." They gazed at one another for a second before Rikku cupped Paine's jaw lightly and kissed the corner of her mouth, and then her actual lips. Paine shivered at how real it felt, how sincere and honest.

Rikku let the kiss ride out its full length before pulling away. "So you're talking to me tonight, and then tomorrow morning we're going to get some help understand?" She could feel her girlfriend's body relax a little. Paine nodded. "C'mere." They shared a warm hug where Paine nuzzled her nose into Rikku's neck gratefully.

##

"C'mon get up." Rikku shook Paine's shoulder lightly.

It was early to be getting up on a Saturday during the semester but Rikku was determined. Her lil' jelly bean had been there for her through it all, and now it was her turn.

Paine groaned. "It's eight in the friggin' morning…" She kept her eyes closed.

"We're going to breakfast." Rikku explained, already changed and everything. She glanced at her alarm clock wondering how Paine knew the time without opening her eyes.

"At eight in the friggin' morning?" Paine whined. All she wanted was sleep, last night they had stayed up talking and processing and it felt good to finally be able to say some of the things on her mind to someone who wasn't going to judge her. Someone with this unconditional positive regard of what kind of person she was on the inside.

But she was tired.

It had been a long first week.

Rikku chuckled at Paine's bed head as she turned her head away from the blonde. "Yes, at eight in the friggin morning." Rikku mocked. "C'mon sleepyhead we had a deal."

They did.

And it was one that Paine knew they were both going to take seriously. Last night's talk wasn't just about Paine, it was about Rikku too. She knew a lot of what happened was still untouched in Rikku's mind. They both needed one another, but they both needed to get better for each other too. It was a very mature decision to make in the beginning phases of their relationship, but it was one that they both thought was important to address. They weren't like every other couple, things had been different from the very beginning.

The deal was simple; they would stay together as girlfriends as long as they each put in time to work on themselves. Rikku expressed that as much as she liked having Paine as her girl, she would much rather have her as a healthy friend trying to work on herself so that in the future they could give it a go again. Paine said that she didn't want anything to change, she wanted Rikku, and now that she had her she would put in all the work necessary.

She would because she could.

She would because no one had ever treated her with such grace and respect as Rikku did the night before.

She would because Rikku was gorgeous, and she couldn't go from being able to kiss her to not being able to. It would drive her crazy.

Paine felt the anxiety though, she knew that this was something she had never done before, she knew that it was easier to try and forget and move on than to go back and rip open wounds to see and dissect what color they bled. It was going to be hard as hell, but as she felt Rikku press her cold face annoyingly up next to hers she knew that she would do it. She would do it because feeling this way, was a whole hell of a lot better than feeling the way she did before. It was scary, yeah, but at least she had someone who understood her thoughts.

Paine groaned again. "Princess, move."

Rikku chuckled a little as she leaned forward and pushed her nose into Paine's cheek more. "C'mmmoonnnn Dr. P!"

"Fuck, you are so annoying." She mumbled causing her girlfriend to laugh in her face, literally.

Rikku couldn't describe her mood today. She knew in her heart of hearts that last night's conversation needed to happen before another month passed, before those three words were said, before a base was hit. It had to be done and she was glad for it because now she saw Paine in a whole new way. She didn't think it possible, but she woke up an hour ago and just stared at her sleeping quietly. It was overwhelming.

Now when she looked at her she just looked different. Not in a negative or positive way, she just seemed, more… Herself, and whether that came with a real level of trust or respect Rikku didn't know. Whichever she had gained though, she was happy to hold it. She was happy it was hers and so was Paine.

"Chocobo pancakes and coffe—" She paused when she remembered Paine couldn't drink coffee. She blinked when Paine rolled onto her back and stared at her with a blank expression.

"You're annoying and heartless."

Rikku laughed. "So I can't say the C word?" She patted Paine's stomach lightly.

"No."

"Not even like the—"

Paine grabbed Rikku and pulled her down with her. "No, no words, just sleep." She closed her eyes and held Rikku tightly.

"Pai." Rikku laughed.

"Shh." Paine felt herself begin to chuckle as Rikku struggled to get free by rolling around violently.

##

"Yeah, tomato, some onion, peppers..." Paine motioned to her eggs.

"You've never made me breakfast before." Rikku picked up her orange juice mixed with pineapple juice and took a few sips. "I mean granted I only pour you cereal and toast your bagels. S'not really _making_ anything…"

Paine picked up her fork and poked at her breakfast contently. "Yeah but you toast them just right."

"Well that's cause I know how you get if Yevon forbid they were just a tad too crunchy." Rikku rolled her eyes with a smile. Paine had some of the funniest quirks to Rikku, but she was sure her silver haired girlfriend felt the same about her. Eveready diner was where they always went to get breakfast now if they ever went out for it. Paine had ordered a frittata with bacon, toast, and green tea. While Rikku ordered the chocobo shaped waffles and home fries with her juice mixture. She managed to steal a slice of Paine's buttered toast though.

Paine shook her head in amused way. "If you only knew how many times the fate of our relationship depended on that toaster…"

Rikku laughed. "I believe it."

They were quiet for a few moments. "I'll make you breakfast one of these days..." Paine nodded to herself. She was making an ongoing list in her head of things she could do for Rikku that cost little to no cash but still would be equally appreciated.

Rikku smiled at the thoughtful look on Paine's face. "That would be nice." Rikku went back to eating. "You doing okay today?" She asked carefully. They smiled and joked that morning, but this thing that hung in the air was serious and they both knew it.

Paine looked up at Rikku and nodded. "Yeah." She said quietly.

Rikku nodded. "Pypo, I just want you to know that…" Rikku bit her lip in thought. "That we'll see this through. That I… won't just leave like a lot of people left... I believe in you a hundred percent." Rikku smiled cutely and nodded when she was done.

And that's really all Paine needed to hear to swallow her anxiety with her next forkful of food.

##

Martha St. Bernard was Paine's old anger management counselor. She stopped seeing her once she got her green belt in Judo and started hanging out with Bart more heavily.

That was like three to four years ago.

"It's nice to see you again Paine." She spoke. She had snowy white hair and deep blue eyes. She had to be about 75, which was to her benefit when dealing with a bunch of young kids who had misplaced rage. Paine could never once bring herself to curse at the woman or throw fits. She was just too fucking nice!

The last time she had seen Martha had to be two years ago when she was at the supermarket with Gippal buying things for Lap. She had smiled knowingly at Paine and her disheveled appearance, but stood her ground near the frozen vegetables. Martha was contacted by Braska by phone a few months ago for the trial, and Paine had been silently listening to her voice while they spoke on speaker phone. It reminded Paine of the ocean, calming, yet strong and steady.

Martha St. Bernard was a damn good therapist.

"Yeah," Paine agreed quietly.

"You look so grown, look at you." The older woman smiled lightly. It was very rare in her practice to see the end result of her work. She frowned to herself but didn't let it show when she realized Paine was here for a reason.

Paine shifted in the comfy chair that resembled the crimson one in Rikku's attic. "Yeah I uh, a lot's changed."

Martha nodded. "Change is good."

"Yeah."

"So, a young woman called." Martha slipped on her silver rimmed glasses that hung around a beaded cord around her neck. "A, Rikku Bayla?"

"Yeah Rikku." Paine sighed as they sat there for a second in silence. She knew this game. "She's my… My girlfriend."

"A girlfriend?" Martha asked a little surprised. "How lovely, what's she like? She sounds nice."

Paine nodded. "She is. Um, we met at school… Long story."

"I like long stories."

Paine groaned lightly. "I know." As a very young adult she hated coming here because Martha would make her talk and talk and talk until she had nothing left to say, and if she didn't talk then they would just sit there in silence for sixty minutes looking at each other.

##

Rikku quickly tossed aside the magazine and stood when Paine exited Dr. St. Bernard's office. Paine face was blank and unreadable. "You ready to go?" Rikku asked quietly taking her forearm. "Okay." She nodded when Paine nodded and motioned to the door.

Rikku had driven them to breakfast and the therapist's so she sat in the driver seat stealing glances at her quiet girlfriend every chance she got. "You want to put on some music or…?"

"If you want to." Her voice was light and far off meaning that she wasn't being quiet on purpose; she was just in her own thoughts. Rikku nodded lightly and decided not to turn on the radio.

Paine thinking about her stuff made Rikku think about hers. The first week back at school had been rough. Someone she didn't even know walked up to her on Friday and asked her about Auron. She hadn't told Paine about that because it seemed rather counterproductive. While Paine was in her session she made the call to schedule her meeting with the dean of the law school on campus, and then one of the psychologists on campus. She didn't want to talk about it. Rikku was certain she didn't, but as she glanced at Paine in the passenger seat, she realized that it was one day. One day, and it had been scary as hell, but she had been very lucky. Paine had been through years and years of just shit, and was so brave.

##

Rikku sat bored in the front row of her class Monday morning. Professor Levy was just about to be fifteen minutes late, which meant she could leave and not get counted absent. Legal Framework 4 was an interesting class, Professor Levy never really got along with Auron, so he was nothing but pleasant to Rikku unlike most of the professors in the law department. So out of respect for him, and fear of getting eaten alive, Rikku sat in the front row and tried not to text or fall asleep.

But she wasn't above leaving if he were late.

Rikku rubbed at the side of her head, it was a little sore because of the blitzball she got hit in the head with just yesterday at the beach. The slight tenderness to the area was well worth the look on Tidus's face when Paine realized it was him who was being careless and got her hurt though. Just then she got a text from one of her friends.

_**Your cousin is driving me insane, please pick her body up under pier no. 4.**_

Rikku chuckled. Yuna and the rest of the fashion students were well underway with developing a bigger and better winter to spring fashion show

_**Sorry Sade, in class, you're on your own. :)**_

She wondered how Sade's summer had been when the unmistakable clicking of heels quieted the small lecture hall. Rikku looked up and swore she was seeing a ghost.

Julian Leblanc marched into the classroom with a thick binder close to her chest. She was clad in a fashionable skirt suit and wearing her black rimmed glasses. Her usually choppy blonde hair was up in a bun.

Somehow, under the grace of some divine spirit, Rikku hadn't had Leblanc as an instructor yet.

Maybe she was just here to say the class was canceled for the day…. Yeah.

"Dude she's hot." A rather round boy sitting next to her said.

Rikku looked at him like he was crazy. She knew him well, he along with his slim friend were among the only law kids to continue talking to her after word of Auron thing spread during the first week. "Ormi, she'd eat your babies." Rikku hissed.

"I'd let her." His eyes glazed over at the woman in front of the class.

Leblanc noticed Rikku sitting in the front row beside some fat boy who seemed to be drooling. She groaned and cleared her throat. "Professor Levy was in an accident, he will no longer be teaching this course. I will be. My name is Professor Leblanc for those of you darlings who aren't aware, I don't take any crap. The add and drop date is next week, so for those of you who…" She glanced at Rikku. "…know my teaching style and do not like it, I hear Patrick Levy will be back next semester. Are there any questions?" No one said anything. "Good. On to our lecture…"

##

"Paine!"

Paine jumped up when her girlfriend just seemed to appear out of nowhere. She looked around the bustling rec center foyer for some kind of sign she had missed, usually she knew exactly when Rikku was near. Her clinking bangles and her childlike steps on the tile made it obvious. Paine finally looked at her girlfriend and quirked an eyebrow. "What in Yevon's name…"

"They've got this cool little culture fair in the quad." Rikku tilted her hat full of colorful feathers.

"That doesn't explain why you're wearing a bird on your head." Paine pointed out. She checked her time as Rikku checked her reflection in a mirror all the way behind Paine used for Tidus and his hair most likely. "You're early."

Paine was going to walk her over to the dean's office. Rikku found it surprisingly sweet of her to want to do. After that they planned on going to Paine's to cook dinner with Gippal and the gang.

"I know, Leblanc let the class out early."

Paine nodded and then did a double take. Rikku laughed. "Say that again?" Paine asked logging out of the computer before her.

"Yeah, she's my teacher for framework 4 now."

"Damn, Bayla. You got some luck." Paine stood and began to gather her things.

Just then Wakka and a few other guys stepped out of the weight room. "Twenty a day ya? Nothing more nothing less."

"Yes cap'n!" They followed him as he neared the front desk.

"Ay Dr. P, Rikku, hows yuh head ya?"

Rikku chuckled and tried to rub at the spot but was stopped by her new hat. "Better."

"Dat's good." He looked over to Paine. "See you tonight?"

"Sorry, roommates only dinner." Paine teased.

Wakka put a hand to his chest as if hurt. "Dat's cold."

"Hey Rikku." Buddy smiled stepping out of the little group behind Wakka. "Whoa, nice hat." He pulled at one of the feathers and Rikku swatted him away.

"Hey hey, watch it buster."

Buddy chuckled. "So what brings you here?" She didn't look like she was ready to work out.

Rikku motioned to Wakka and Paine talking. "Paine." She smiled lightly as she watched her girlfriend from a small distance. Buddy looked between the two of them.

"… Oh is that Wakka's roommate?"

Rikku turned back to him. "Yup, well, not anymore, he's moving out."

Buddy nodded. "So you excited for Wednesday's class?"

"Ah damn." Wakka shook his head. "When are you going to be able to den?"

Paine pulled her leather jacket on and stuffed her keys in one of the pockets. She checked the time and looked over to Rikku talking to one of Wakka's teammates. "Ri, we gotta go." She called. Rikku turned and nodded before turning back to the boy. Paine directed her attention back to Wakka as she walked around and out the door of the information center where she sat. "Em, says that light beer will be okay by this weekend, if my tests come back good for filtration."

Wakka made a face. "Light beer?"

Paine nodded in understanding. "I know."

"You'd have to drink like a whole six pack to get buzzed!"

"What are you doing this weekend? Staying in with the Mrs." She joked.

Wakka nodded. "Pickin' out stuff, and budgeting." Even now he looked overwhelmed.

Paine pulled the hat off Rikku's head as she and Wakka walked by her and Buddy.

"Hey!" Rikku reached up at her head. She narrowed her eyes at Paine's back as she, Wakka, and the small army of blitzers continued walking.

"Want me to get it back for you?" Buddy asked not liking how this Paine seemed like a bully.

Rikku shook her head. "I'd better go. I'll see you Wednesday!"

##

Paine shook off her nerves and clutched her cell phone as she walked down the stairs to the living room late that night. Rikku had passed out after two glasses of wine and was fast asleep in her bed. So there was no pep talk this time.

"A little lower." Someone murmured causing Paine to stop on the steps.

"Yeah yeah yeah." Came Gippal's annoyed, but surprisingly soft voice.

Paine quietly made her way down the stairs and shook her head at the two figures on the couch. Elma was lying back with a wine glass in her hand and her bare feet in on Gippal's lap. Her best friend was sitting upright massaging the heel of her left foot while they watched what looked like Cops.

_They would_

Paine laughed quietly and turned to head back upstairs. She'd have to catch him at a different time.

##

Gippal ran a hand through his flat blonde hair as he entered the kitchen the next morning with long red pajama pants on and no shirt. He jumped back a little at the very wide knowing smile on Rikku's face. "What the fuck?" He mumbled and playfully pushed Rikku. "What are you looking at kid?"

"Nothing, nothing." Rikku smiled trying her hardest to keep what Paine told her she saw to herself. "Just y'know… nothing." She turned her attention to Paine who was slicing some oranges for her.

Gippal rubbed his face tiredly and laughed at Paine. "Supreme's Dr. P?"

Paine looked up from carefully carving the white pith off of the entire orange. She shrugged. "Foot massages, Gip?"

Rikku giggled as they stared each other down and then continued with what they were doing without saying a word.

"Paine made me breakfast." Rikku bragged motioning to her plate.

Gippal grunted in response and poured himself a cup of coffee before dragging his feet into the living room.

It was really early in the morning and he honestly didn't know why he was awake right now.

Rikku turned to Paine and watched her for a second. Paine had become a tad quieter than usual ever since the meeting with Dr. St Bernard, but Rikku was sure it was a good thing. Her hand was healing fast too, which meant she was remembering to take care of it. "Pstt." Rikku called after Paine.

"Just hold on a minute." Paine said. Her sole focus and task was to rid the blood orange in her hand of the pith. She finished and passed the red fruit over to Rikku. "Here babe."

Rikku smiled. "You're so sweet, but you're missing your shot."

Paine wore a blank expression before realization hit. "Oh!"

"Mhm, go get 'em tiger!" She chuckled as Paine grabbed her glass of iced tea and walked into the living room to sit beside Gippal.

"Sup P." He greeted before taking a sip of his coffee.

Paine shrugged coolly. "Not much."

….

"So listen, there is this cool car show hitting the city this weekend…"

"Nice, you lookin' to get those spinners we've been talking about?" Gippal asked hopefully.

Paine shook her head. "No." She sipped on the iced drink. "You wanna go?"

Gippal looked away from the TV. "You asking me out with your girl sitting right there?" Paine gave him a look which made him chuckle slowly. "Yeah let's do it, how'd you hear about this thing anyway?"

No going back now.

"Lai invited us."

The only thing that could be heard for a few moments was the low TV, and Rikku's silverware in the background as she enjoyed her meal..

"Why?"

Paine shrugged. "Rikku was telling him about how you hooked up my car, thought we would like it." She watched his profile carefully as his jaw tightened and then slackened.

"Yeah, fine, whatever."

That was good enough for Paine!

##

Cid wasn't at all surprised to see Paine sitting in the kitchen Saturday morning with a bowl of cereal curled in her arm.

"You look beat." He acknowledged as he poured himself some coffee and reached for his car keys. He had a few quick errands to run and then he was to return to pick up Rikku so they could head to the stadium together.

Today was the big day.

Paine looked up at Cid and nodded. "Long week." And yet here she was again, up super early on a Saturday morning.

Cid nodded and sent Paine a little smile. "So where is Milan?" He rarely saw one without the other now a days.

"Sleeping still."

"And you're awake?"

Paine shrugged. She couldn't really sleep despite her best efforts. "She'll be awake when you get back, don't worry." Paine reassured.

Cid chuckled. "I know she will be, but will she be ready? That's the question."

Paine shook her head. "I can't promise you anything, but I'll try."

Cid smiled at Paine. "That's what I like to hear." He headed out the door and paused. "Take care huh?"

Paine let up a little smile. "Yeah, I'll see you later Cid."

He had asked her to call him Cid sometime that week.

It was kind of big deal.

After eating the rest of her cereal Paine climbed the stairs to Rikku's room.

Rikku had her limbs carelessly sprawled out on her bed as she snored cutely while clutching her pillow every now and then. Paine wondered what the blonde was dreaming about to cause her to pout like that. Rikku always complained that Paine was a pain to wake up, but that's just because she never had to wake herself up.

Paine rolled up her invisible sleeves.

##

She felt like she was going to swallow her own tongue. "How do I look? Do I look okay? How's my hair? Paine? Paine?"

Paine tolerated it only because she cared.

"You look perfect, stop worrying; you're passing your anxiety on to me."

"You're not even looking at me!"

Paine sighed heavily and got up from her position on Rikku's made up bed. She had her textbook open and was trying to get some reading in before she went out later with Lai and Gippal. Paine walked over to her girlfriend and gave her a look that said calm down.

Rikku inhaled and exhaled slowly. "You weren't even looking at me." She mumbled cutely.

Paine chuckled. "It's because you look beautiful in everything."

Rikku rolled her eyes and turned away from her. "I want honesty; your opinion is clearly bias."

"Clearly." Paine shook her head and leaned up against her nearby dresser. "What do you want this one to say?" She asked motioning to Rikku's outfit.

Rikku turned to face her. "Okay. I want it to say, Brother… I think I'm gay…" Paine raised an eyebrow. "No no. I want it to say… I can't tell because I only have eyes for one… lady woman…"

"Lady woman?"

Rikku nodded nervously. "Yeah that's you."

If she weren't so adorable like this Paine wouldn't know what to say to her. "Rikks, I think you are looking too into this…"

"Does my outfit say that or not?" She demanded.

Paine felt an easy smirk pull at her lips. "You wanna know if it says your into me or not?" Rikku nodded and furrowed a brow in confusion as Paine stepped closer to her. "Well let's see." She circled Rikku twice not hiding her stare. "More skin." Paine nodded surely once she was facing Rikku again.

Rikku playfully hit her. "Argh! How am I supposed to get anything accomplished with you joking all the time?"

Paine blocked her while laughing. "I'm not joking!"

##

Paine did a double take when Rikku stepped out of the bathroom in her twelfth outfit change. Her girlfriend went over to her small mirror and fussed with her hair. It was pulled up and made to seem a lot shorter. "How does this one look Paine?" She asked not even noticing how Paine was glued to her every move.

Cid had gotten special box seats close to where the team owners sat, meaning that they had to dress nicely for the game instead of in their fan memorabilia like Rikku wanted.

She was wearing a burgundy colored skirt that exposed her knees and just a hint of thigh, black heels, and a simple quarter length sleeve black shirt that hugged her body. Her earrings were small playfully pearls and she wore a thin corded bracelet on her right hand, She never took off the small silver ring on that hand Paine notched. "…I'm wearing Psych colors see? Gotta represent know what I'm sayin'?" She chuckled to herself as she lint rolled her shirt. "Hep!" She jumped a little when she felt Paine behind her. "Hey so you like it?"

"You look amazing." Paine placed a kiss on the back of her exposed neck.

Rikku giggled. "I'm guessing this one is a winner." Paine nodded enthusiastically causing Rikku to laugh more.

##

"Time to go." Cid nodded towards Rikku and Paine who were in the den. They both stood and Paine turned off the TV as the three exited the house.

"Do you have your keys?"

"Yes."

"Your phone?"

"Yes."

"The hand cream, did you see I put it next to your things?"

"Yes I did, I have it."

"What about the…"

Cid chuckled as he watched his daughter fuss over Paine. "Rikku Milan, we need to leave." He reminded as he put a briefcase into the back seat of his car.

"And then the—" Rikku was cut off by Paine putting her hands on her shoulders.

"Stop it."

"I can't help it."

"Try to." Paine chuckled at how Rikku stuck out her bottom lip. "You will be fine, because I said you would, and I know everything."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Alright." She took a big breath. "Alright let's um… Let's hug or something." Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine.

Paine glanced at Cid before leaning down and quickly pecking Rikku on the cheek. "So enjoy the game, okay?"

"Alright, bye Pai." She waved lightly as Paine let go and got into her car.

##

"Or what about the time Gippal got his tongue stuck to a stripper pole?" Lai asked causing the trio to burst out in laughter recalling the cold winter afternoon outside of a strip joint near the red light district.

Paine laughed, "Pretty sure he got frost bite, and an STD at the same time."

"Very impressive." Baralai agreed.

Gippal grabbed at his glass of beer. "You assholes just left me there."

"Correction, Paine left you there. I went to get help." Lai shook his head.

Paine shook her head at him. "You're so full of shit."

The car show had started out weird and awkward but soon turned into old times when Gippal almost got them kicked out for doing something stupid. After the show they decided to grab dinner. Paine's mouth watered as the steak sandwiches and potato skins were finally placed in front of them, They were all on their third glass of beer. Lai and Gippal settling for a rich and flavorful lodger, while Paine sipped on the diluted light beer version that tasted like nothing at all. She didn't care though; she was beginning to feel the effects she saw in the two men sitting across from her. She was glad they were getting along so well, she had pulled Gippal aside and thanked him before they settled on a place for dinner. He smiled at her and just shook his head mumbling something about changing to be better for someone being contagious.

Although she was warm and full and laughing with the two people she never thought she would see in the same room ever again, Paine couldn't help but worry about Rikku. She had called a half hour ago and agreed to join the trio soon, but she didn't sound happy like Paine was hoping, she didn't sound pissed either. She just sounded tired.

"Another round!" Gippal called to the waitress who came by to pick up their empty beer glasses.

The pink flush on Paine's face told her that she was tipsy. The smile she gave her when she saw her approaching told her that she wasn't in pain from the booze and was having fun.

Rikku was happy for her. "Hey Boys." She smiled filling in the empty seat beside Paine. Gippal and Baralai greeted her happily and she could feel Paine wrap her leather clad arm around her small back before leaning forward and pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Pypo." She couldn't help but chuckle at Paine's bright and excited eyes. "How much has she had to drink?" Rikku asked looking over at the two childhood friends.

"Three glasses of light beer." Lai informed.

"Fucking pathetic really. I know I trained her better than this." Gippal motioned to a smiling Paine, who had yet to take her eyes off Rikku.

"It's because of her surgery." Rikku looked over to Paine not minding at all that her hand hadn't moved. "You okay?"

"I'm not drunk guys, can't I just be happy to see my girlfriend?" Paine asked keeping her arm around Rikku possessively.

##

Paine made sure to get the two men in front of her talking about something before leaning over to Rikku who was being all quiet and unlike her usual self. "How did it go?" She whispered.

Rikku sighed and leaned into Paine. "It didn't go. I chickened out. Pops kinda stole my thunder though, he's breaking up his share of the company between Brother and I."

_Flashback_

_Kirill kept his heavy arm around Rikku's shoulder as they rehashed the game while waiting for their father to get the dinner reservations together. "Did you see that one shot I made?"_

"_The one where you did a bicycle kick?" Kirill nodded. "Yeah, not impressed." Rikku chuckled. _

_He laughed. "Ah c'mon!" They continued talking until Cid walked off with the hostess to solve some kind of issue. "Say the old man is really losing his hair huh?" Kirill joked._

_It always made Rikku laugh and it didn't fail this time. She felt this warm sense of family when he was around. This was the man who knew her forever, when she was eating dirt, playing in mud, wetting the bed. He was there for it all and having him around now made her smile softly. "Can I tell you something important Brother?"_

"_Of course, Sis." He smiled at her encouragingly sensing she was having some trouble. _

"_Uh…" Rikku sagged her shoulder when the words failed her. "I'm glad you're here, and hope you stay for a little while longer. I've missed you."_

_It wasn't a lie, and as Kirill hugged her she knew it was something she meant, but it wasn't the truth that she needed to let free._

_End Flashback_

"What?" Paine shook her head lightly. "So why the—"She stopped herself. "Are you okay?"

Rikku nodded. "I'm alright, I'm just tired and well, disappointed in myself. You would think I learned to speak up by now."

"You wanna go?" Paine asked as she motioned to the exit.

Rikku smiled at her then. "No no, let's not ruin the night."

##

Rikku and Paine were giggling like idiots by the time they got dropped off to Rikku's house.

"Shhhh." Paine laughed as she drunkenly remembered to take off her sneakers by the door.

"Oh yeaaahhh." Rikku nodded and tried to balance on one foot to take off her heels. Paine didn't know why it looked so funny, but it did, and she found herself laughing more when Rikku almost fell. "I can't, I can't take 'em off baby, help me?" Rikku slurred as she extended her arms for Paine and pouted cutely.

"Forget them." Paine shook her head as she reached a hand behind Rikku's bare knees and scoped her up bridal style leaving her heels to fall off her feet as Rikku kicked them while laughing,

Paine laughed as she began walking up the stairs carefully with Rikku in her arms. "I can't see for shit." It was so dark.

Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and placed a series of kisses on one side of her face before licking her cheek. "You taste likkkkeee…. Popcorn!"

"You just fucking licked me?" Rikku did it again. "Stop!"

Rikku giggled and hugged Paine. "You shsush!"

"No you shush!"

Paine finally stumbled up the last step.

"We made it! You're my hero!" Rikku nuzzled her cheek against Paine sweetly. She was pretty drunk, it wasn't even funny, all she knew is that Paine had just risked her life for her, and that deserved some proper thanks. "I need to y'know, repay you now…" She purred lowly against Paine's ear as Paine carried her down the hall.

Paine nodded. "I accept checks and—" She was cut off when Rikku began lightly nipping at her sensitive neck. "And that, I accept that too."

"Good." Rikku murmured kissing her pale skin slowly. "Because I think I left my purse in Lai's car."

Paine chuckled as she set Rikku down standing near her room door. She leaned down to kiss her girlfriend softly, but that's not at all how it turned out once their lips met.

##

Rikku shook when Paine's hands squeezed her hips and she used the lower half of her body to push Rikku gently again the wall near her room door.

"Mm fuck, Rikks." She panted as their lips separated for a second before returning to the fierce open mouthed make out session they were having.

Rikku could already feel the moisture between her legs when Paine pressed her entire body flesh against hers. Everything all of a sudden was hot, too hot. She couldn't think straight and quickly ducked her hands in Paine's hair when she felt the taller woman pull her lips away and suck greedily on her neck. Rikku let out an unexpected moan that made Paine's hips buck forward without her permission. Somewhere in Paine's cloudy mind she realized they were in Rikku's hallway, and Cid's room was on the same floor. She pulled herself away from Rikku, her entire body tingling from the lack of contact.

"Bedroom." Rikku rasped as she tripped the small distance between her and Paine.

"I'm drunk." Paine shook her head as she held her hands out to hold Rikku steady.

"Me too."

"I don't want to—"

"Me either."

"But I wanna—"

"Me too."

Paine nodded and chuckled as she put her arms back around Rikku. "Baby you can't kiss me like that though."

"Why not, you obviously liked it." Rikku teased hugging Paine impossibly close. "I wanna make you feel good." She whispered causing Paine to groan a little.

Was there such thing as blue ovaries?

_Guess I'll find out._

Paine backed Rikku up into her bedroom, neither realizing that the light was already on.

Kirill stood abruptly as the door to Rikku's room pushed open and his little sister was backed up into the room while trying to rid a silver haired woman of her leather jacket without breaking the passionate kiss.

He cleared his throat and the two quickly ripped apart.

**AN: :D Oh yeah, I know you have 'em, so lay those reviews on me!**

**KathleenDee**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

This wasn't happening.

It couldn't be happening.

Rikku turned and grabbed a hold of Paine's shoulder. "On a scale of one to drunk, how drunk am I?" Could she just be dreaming or something? Could Paine have slipped going up the stairs with her, and now she was lying on the bottom step with a twisted leg and a really really vivid imagination? Rikku's legs all of a sudden felt wobbly, she shifted slightly and felt the moisture that had settled on her panties.

No, this was definitely happening.

Kirill crossed his arms. "You're not even twenty one yet." He directed his glare at Paine.

She already knew what he was thinking. "Pretty drunk…" Paine responded in a preoccupied tone. Her body was in shock; Paine's mind was telling her that this was a very delicate situation. Her body on the other hand, wanted to grab Rikku, reverse out the room, and take the festivities elsewhere. It felt wrong on so many levels to be thinking the way she was with Rikku's very intimidating older brother standing right there… Glaring.

Rikku groaned, still not daring to look at Kirill. She knew she had to eventually, and she figured she might as well get it over with, there wasn't much of a choice. But she knew her brother, and she certainly knew her girlfriend. It would be better if Paine wasn't in the room when they talked. Something told her that with the way he was glaring at Paine now, he wouldn't be able to listen. "Can you give us a min—"

"Sure." Paine was already leaving.

Rikku watched her scuttle out of the room and could not even believe that that was the same person who hospitalized a grown man about three times her size.

Kirill cleared his throat again and crossed his arms. "Who the hell was that?"

##

"It's gonna cost you extra for stealth…"

She blinked. "Isn't that your job, aren't you supposed to remain out of sight?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes I'm hired to make people feel special…" He pointed to his open palm and she begrudgingly placed a few extra bills in it.

"Just get what I asked."

"You got it boss."

##

Kirill shook his head lightly. "I don't understand…"

Rikku stared at her hands. "I don't know much about it either." That was really the best she could give him right now. Although she was sobering up very fast, she could still feel the warmth of the booze swimming though her and making her words slip through her fingers like sand. It fed off her nerves, and Rikku was certainly nervous.

"So you are just confused then." He tried.

"No, no not confused." Rikku was pretty sure if Kirill hadn't snuck into her room she and Paine would be engaged in the rather unpractical battle of will. There was nothing confusing about how she felt when Paine touched her.

"It's the pressure with Pop isn't it?"

S let out a heavy breath and steadied her herself. She would just have to come out and say it. Rikku reached out and placed her hand on her brother's tattooed right arm. "I can't explain it, 'cause I've never felt like this before—"

"And if you two break up? Then what? You'd be hurt like nothing before right?" He wasn't fully convinced yet. He knew his sister, and he knew there was something she wasn't saying.

Rikku let his arm go and frowned. She supposed that's how it would work right? Such feelings had to harbor others in their absence. That was the risk. "Yeah, but that's just how it is." He didn't say anything. Rikku sighed again and looked about her room. "If it were a guy…"

"Wouldn't be as surprised…." Kirill admitted, not looking at her either. "Still wouldn't be better though. You're my little sister…." His tone softened at the last line. This was all just a little too much for him, but he imagined it was a lot more for Rikku than anything. For a few moments they didn't speak.

"I'm a person too, a person who… Who has felt things, who has been hurt. I've fallen before and didn't need your help to get back u—" She stopped when she noticed the slightly pained expression on his face. "What I'm saying is that now all of that doesn't matter because I'm… I'm very much… Happy with her. We have this connection… I wouldn't trade it for anything."

Kirill was still quiet. Rikku could see he was still having a hard time swallowing the whole thing. "I don't know what kind of person she is; you've never said anything before."

Rikku tilted her head. "How exactly would I tell you something like this over the phone?"

Kirill shrugged lightly and looked back at his sister. "So are you…?"

Rikku kept his gaze. "I don't know."

"But you're in a relationship with a woman…"

"You gotta get out of that sphere bubble a little more often." She teased hoping to lighten the mood.

Kirill sighed and nodded in agreement. "This thing with Pops, its kinda why I'm here…" He ran a hand along his short blonde mohawk. "Was gonna wait for you to talk but then…"

Rikku blushed. "Sorry about that." She bit her bottom lip. "So you're not like, gonna disown me or something?" She was just about ready for the worst, and his ambiguity on the matter wasn't helping her feel better. Her brother hand always been like this though, he never really committed to anything aloud until he had some time.

Kirill shook his head no. "Why would I do that? You're my baby sister."

As he uttered those words Rikku couldn't help but feel a weight lifted off of her chest. Like the sun would shine again and she could actually take a deep and fulfilling breath.

"I can't say if I approve…." Kirill rubbed his chin making him look like their father in every way. "I know nothing about …"

"Paine." Rikku helped him out.

"Yeah, see she already sounds like trouble."

Rikku smiled and leaned her weight onto his shoulder. "Oh she is, but I care about her and she cares about me… We've been through so much together already that… Well. I just want to be happy, and she does that for me." Rikku smiled a little more when her eyes caught sight of the anniversary card Paine got for her sitting on her nightstand behind Kirill. "She makes everything feel better… "

Kirill wasn't sure if the small twinkle in her eyes was because of this Paine person, or because of the alcohol. Either way she seemed happy in that moment, and really with everything going on, that's all he wanted. "If you're sure." Rikku nodded. Kirill looked away from her in thought. He couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was missing something though. He needed to know why his little sister looked so grown. He had seen her for her birthday, where had all the innocence gone? "Is that what you were planning on telling me at the restaurant?"

Rikku nodded. "Among other things…"

The spoke quietly for a little longer before Kirill announced he had to leave because of the league curfew. They embraced, and she showed him out with promises of a reunion again real soon.

For a second Rikku just stood in the dark hallway near the entrance; the house seemed blue with darkness and some where there was a hallowing draft. It made her shiver and cap her hands to her upper arms.

"Are you okay?"

She jumped in fear but then sighed when Paine appeared from the dark den holding what appeared to be a glass of water. Rikku nodded mutely.

"I didn't mean to scare you…"

"It's okay."

Paine extended her arm. "Here, drink this."

"What is it?" Rikku asked not moving her hands yet.

Paine huffed. "It's vodka."

Rikku smiled at her in the dark and reached her left hand to take the glass. A few sips and felt her feet safely planted on the floor. "He's gone and I still feel nervous, y'know?" Rikku asked after lightly prodding the rim of the glass against her bottom lip.

Paine nodded. "You look nervous. Did it go well?"

Rikku nodded and took a few more sips. "He wants to know more about you… Said you sounded like trouble."

Paine laughed. "Wouldn't be the first time I've heard that."

Rikku pulled the glass away from her mouth and sent Paine a smile. "I told him that I already knew you were."

"Gee, thanks Babe."

"You're welcome." Once she was done with the water Paine took the empty glass from her and disappeared into the darker den again. Rikku followed and plopped herself down on the couch while blindly looking for the remote.

"You aren't tired?" Paine watched her as she tried to fight her yawn.

"I am, but my mind is restless…" The loud light from the TV soon illuminated the room causing both girls to squint. "I need to… Not think, and then I'll be sleepy." She said once her eyes adjusted to the light and began surfing through the muted channels. "Sit with me?" She asked glancing up at Paine who was still standing.

Paine nodded to herself and sat close to Rikku before putting her arm around her. She groaned once she saw what was settled on. "Djose Shore, again?"

"It's mindless TV!" Rikku said after kicking her feet up onto the coffee table and snuggling into Paine more. A little grin curled its way onto her mouth. "We don't have to watch it…"

Paine grinned as well. "Easy there…"

Rikku giggled and rested her head on Paine's shoulder. "Are you saying you didn't like it?" She teased.

"I'm saying I liked it too much." Paine admitted. She had sobered up by now to think clearly. Rikku deserved more than a quick agreement. She deserved more than Paine could have possibly given her a half hour ago, and they both knew it. It was amazing how Rikku was able to understand what she wanted and didn't want though. Words weren't even needed. Paine shook her head at herself and then turned and placed a kiss on the very top of Rikku's before tilting her head and managing to place another on the tender part where she had been hit with the blitzball last week. She felt Rikku sigh contently against her. "You good?" Paine asked a minute later.

Rikku shrugged. "I'm happy that he's so understanding, and that he just wants me to be happy…Like, really happy, Pai. But then I still have to tell him about Auron…"

"Oh."

Paine had almost forgotten.

"Yeah, oh…"

She hugged Rikku a little closer. "Celebrate this one first before you start getting down."

Rikku smiled to herself and wrapped her arm around Paine's midsection. "Celebrate with me."

##

The next morning after almost breaking his neck on one of Rikku's heels coming down the stairs, Cid made his way into the den and stopped short when he noticed his daughter and her girlfriend asleep on the plush couch.

They had fallen asleep in the den before, one lazy summer afternoon after Paine's surgery he had found Rikku snoring lightly in the reclining chair and Paine head down into the couch; they were both out for at least a few hours. He himself thought it amusing at the time. But now, Cid didn't know to make of the intimate position they were in.

Paine was lying on her back with her head on a red couch pillow; her arms were wrapped protectively around Rikku's body. The blonde was lying completely on top of her, her head was nestled right above Paine's chest, her legs fell comfortably between Paine's, her right arm was tucked out of sight and her left was resting beside Paine's left ear.

He rubbed his chin. They were still dressed, which was good, but Cid couldn't help but be concerned. He reminded himself to have a talk with them both as he left for the kitchen.

Paine woke to Rikku moving around in her arms a few hours later. She groaned lightly at the small but annoying pain in her lower back. She just had to go and pick Rikku up last night, didn't she? Paine opened her eyes and smiled though. She rubbed Rikku's back gently and the blonde looked up at her with bright green eyes. They were always abnormally bright when she first woke up.

"You're boobs make great pillows." She mumbled.

Rikku had slept like a baby angel, nestled between the softest baby clouds, and covered by a blanket of the finest baby cashmere…

Paine chuckled. "Any excuse to get close to 'em." The blonde nodded and went back to resting her head against her. It was all so innocent until someone said something.

So no one said anything.

Paine let her mind wonder for a bit. She hadn't at all noticed that her hand was still rubbing Rikku's back until she felt Rikku let out a content sigh.

"Dryd vaamc hela" She breathed on the exhale.

Paine just laid there for a minute; pushing herself to say what she was thinking. "_This_ feels nice."

Rikku picked her head up and sent Paine a little smile as she used her chin to help push Paine's head to the side so she could place a little kiss on her neck.

After last night it was her new favorite place to kiss.

"I'm glad you're both awake." Cid interrupted from the swinging kitchen door. Rikku sighed in annoyance and Paine closed her eyes feeling another awkward conversation coming on. "A word?"

##

"We're not having sex!"

Paine just played with the tea bag floating in her cup of hot water. She was going to let Rikku take the reins on this one.

"Milan."

"And those female condoms suck!"

Paine picked her head up. "You tried to put one on too?"

Rikku turned to look at her. "What?"

She went back to her tea. "Never mind…"

Rikku shook her head and looked back at her father. "That was way outta line, Pops."

"Safe sex is way out of line?"

"We're not having sex!"

"Good, so I don't see the problem in a little separation. You two spend all of your time together."

Rikku put two fingers to her head and shook it. "We like each other… What about you and Leblanc? You spent all of your time together when you were together."

Cid sipped from his mug of tea. "We're adults—"

"We're adults!"

"—and we _were_ having sex."

Rikku made a face. "That's just gross."

Cid chuckled and rested his cup down. "I'm not saying she can't spend the night… I'm just saying that we have a very nice guest room that I'm sure Paine hasn't seen yet." He looked passed his daughter. "Do we have an understanding?"

Paine looked up and nodded. "Of course."

"Paine!"

"What? You want me to disagree with your father?" She motioned to Cid.

"I want you to take my side!"

Clearly she had lost her mind. "Rikku…"

"Listen to your girlfriend, Milan." Cid hid his smile as he pecked Rikku on the forehead and left the kitchen. "I'll be back around five!" He called.

Rikku went to stand in the hallway. "E's hud tuha dymgehk du oui! Rao!" Paine sunk in her seat when she heard the front door close and the padding of Rikku marching back into the kitchen. She wasn't hung over, but she wasn't above pretending to be. Rikku came back into the kitchen with her hands on her hips. "Oui keja res yh ehlr yht ra dygac y sema… Well congrats Pypo, you just gave him an inch!"

Paine held her head."Oww."

Rikku paused and tilted her head. "Pai, what's wrong?"

Paine peeked from behind her hand. "Hangover, and my back hurts…" She peeked again. Rikku still had that look in her eyes. "…A lot."

Rikku came over to her and rubbed her back soothingly. "Aw, and look at you pretending to be so tough and not say anything till Pops left. Here, I'll make you something to eat and…"

About an hour later Paine walked into the formal living room where Rikku was lounging with her sketchbook on her lap. "Here you are." Paine said as she moved over to the stiff sofa her girlfriend was sitting on. She looked around the room for a second; it was pale, with glass fixtures here and there, a creamed colored glass showcase held expensive looking china, near the far fall. The slightly white carpet felt cold under her socked feet and the hardly ever drawn silky curtains were drawn, brining in a rich brightness over her girlfriend's shoulders. Paine felt completely out of place in here. She watched Rikku; in this light, in this room, she really did look like royalty, like a princess. Paine smiled softly at the thought.

"We were never allowed in this room when we moved here…" Rikku kept her focus on whatever she was drawing."Even now I feel like I'm breaking a rule." She let a grin curl at her lips before stopping and looking up at Paine.

Paine made a show of looking around. "I can see why…"

"There's good light in here, and I don't feel like standing, I'm too tired."

"You feeling okay?"

"Small headache."

Paine nodded. "All the yelling…"

She chuckled "Or all the drinking."

Paine laid her back against the couch and looked around again as she spoke. She had never been in a room like this before. "I can stay with you."

"No, you are just looking for any excuse to—" Rikku stopped when Paine stood and made her way over to an antique end table near the entrance.

Paine smiled goofily and picked up the small picture frame on top it. "I know who this is." She turned the picture around to show Rikku.

"Yup." Rikku smiled and got up. She left her sketch pad on the couch but stuck her pencil behind her ear as she walked over and stood next to Paine. "That's me as a meddma pypo."

Paine chuckled looking down at the bundle of blankets surrounding the newborn with chubby cheeks and curious eyes. She had a scrap of blonde hair on her head a shade or two lighter than her hair now. "You were a cute baby." She concluded.

"I think I was only a few minutes in that picture, look at my ears!"

Paine laughed. "I'm glad you grew into them."

"Hey!"

Paine put the picture down and picked up another, a laugh formed in her throat. "What in the world are you two wearing?"

It was a picture of five year Yuna and four year old Rikku holding onto each other and grinning, toothlessly in Yuna's case. Rikku smiled at their ladybug costumes. "We're ladybugs duh."

Paine was still laughing. "Did Yuna get into a fight or something?"

"No silly, she just had the misfortune of losing a lot of her teeth all at once."

Paine put the picture down and picked up another. She wondered why all of the pictures were in this room though, sure she had managed to find a few here and there in her time being welcome here, but she had never seen such a collection.

"Ma liked this room…" Rikku answered her silent question as she picked up a picture of her, Yuna, and her mother. "She said that she liked having us around all of the time, and she spent most of her time in here…."

"Sketching?"

Rikku shrugged. "I don't know."

Sensing the bit of sadness Paine wrapped her hand around the small of Rikku's back. "I could stay…"

Rikku laughed lightly and put the pictures back making sure they were the way Paine found them. "You just want any excuse not to go to therapy." She turned to check the time on an old clock in the corner. "You'll be late if you don't leave soon." Rikku watched as Paine sagged her shoulders and bit the inside of her mouth, probably thinking of another excuse. Rikku leaned her body weight against her and looked up at her. "We had a deal, now you already went all soft and let Pops walk all over you, so I suggest you get back into my good graces and follow through with your word Paine Amelia."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Why do you have to go there?"

"Because I know saying the whole thing get's your attention. Now c'mon, I'll walk you out." Rikku began to walk away but Paine pulled her back.

"I think I know a better way of getting into your good graces." She flirted.

Rikku shook her head. "You're getting desperate, it's not cute." She began to giggle and squirm around though as Paine wrapped her arms more around her and began to pepper her face with kisses.

"I can stay." Kiss. "And we could—" Kiss, kiss, kiss. "we could talk, and…" Kiss.

Rikku giggled as Paine kissed he nose. "Oh so you would rather talk to me then?"

Paine paused. "Are you kidding? Of course I would, this lady isn't anywhere near as attractive as you are—"

Rikku laughed and began to drag Paine into the main hallway. "Well I'm glad you're not shallow."

Paine finally gave up the fight. She slacked her arms around Rikku. "Well and I don't really trust anyone else, even though I've known her longer."

Rikku rubbed her arm. "She's there to help you. I can't do that, I'm not trained to."

"I know I know."

"So go."

Paine nodded and let go of Rikku completely to put on her shoes. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Paine asked as she stood and reached for her leather jacket on a hook near the door.

"I think I'm going to the park. Clear my head a little." She had one big conversation out the way, and now needed to focus on the other.

Paine nodded. "Don't forget to lock the door behind you and stuff." She still worried about Rikku's safety, and she tried her hardest to not let it come off as controlling, but by default Rikku was just a trusting person, even after what happened. She hoped to see the good in everything, and that was a nice concept, but Paine cared about her safety more than her ability to make friends. She wanted Rikku to be happy though, and the older women knew that smothering Rikku would just mean pushing her away.

"I wll I will." Rikku nodded.

##

"— So that is why today's assignment is to draw whatever comes to mind, I don't care if it's stick figures, I don't care if it makes sense. I just want you to draw.—"

Leslie Novak was a rather scrawny woman, she smelt of cherry brandy and smiled so often that at the ripe age of 32 she already had faint laugh lines and creases where her smile should be on the off chance that she wasn't smiling, but the was rare. She wore tacky denim overalls every day except for the first two classes. She was Rikku's Art and Design instructor for the semester, and Rikku had just decided that she liked her. It had taken her a week or two to get used to her teaching style, but Rikku found it refreshing, like an ice cold lemonade on one of Homes hottest days. It was such a nice escape from the rigid stiffness that hung in the air in the law building.

The studio was designed differently for every class. Today several easels with a large sketch pads attached to them were in a circle. The class was fairly small, so it worked out quite well.

Rikku pressed the eraser of her pencil to her chin and stared at the blank canvas.

Anything?

"You're thinking too much Bayla." Leslie walked over and motioned to Buddy beside her who was happily drawing a blitz stadium.

_Typical._

"Don't let your mind control your hand, just go for it." Rikku nodded and moved her left hand to the canvas but then paused. Professor Novak nudged her arm purposely so she would make a large slightly smudged version of a horizon on her page. "Opps." She said before walking off. Rikku only chuckled and decided to just go for it.

##

Rikku scanned the area in front of the art building as he spoke.

"—It was pretty awesome and—"

She checked the time on her cell phone and bit her lip impatiently. Yevon help her if Paine were late she'd flip out. This was important damnit! Rikku looked over at Buddy who was going on about something or the other. They had just gotten out of art class and he hadn't really left her side since they were apparently having a conversation. She didn't mind, he seemed nice, she just wished Paine would hurry up so they could meet her brother for lunch like they had all planned.

This morning she woke up and realized that shorts weren't an option against this fall like wind that was making itself known. The trees hadn't really done much, but Rikku could see them beginning to grow thin and sickly looking.

Any day now.

Fall was Rikku's favorite season; she couldn't wait to share it with Paine. There was just so much to do! She mentally wondered if it would be frowned upon to start decorating for the holidays now. Yuna would surely say something. Rikku shook her head with a little smile at her cousin.

"Well?" Buddy asked.

Rikku looked over at him. "Huh?"

"I asked how your weekend was."

"Oh." Rikku nodded. "It was nice, Hung out with my two favorite girls."

"Oh yeah?"

Rikku nodded remembering how funny Sunday night at Yuna's was. "Yup. Oh, there is one of them now." Rikku motioned with her head to Paine approaching a small distance away. She was walking beside a turtle neck wearing Baralai. She herself dressed in skinny jeans shawl like shirt. Rikku grinned at her stride. Why was she fighting this modeling thing so bad?

"She's the one who stole your hat..." Buddy remembered with a frown.

"Yeah." Rikku shrugged and turned to face Buddy. "So I'll catch you later right? Cool." Rikku took off before he could even respond.

Buddy smiled though, she had touched his arm before leaving.

"Rikku." Baralai smiled and then looked over to Paine. "I'll catch you later."

"Yeah." Paine nodded and then turned to face her girlfriend. "You ready to go then?"

Rikku nodded. "You look nice." She chuckled as Paine rolled her eyes. Rikku waited till they were in Paine's car to lean over and place a kiss on her cheek. "I thought you were going to be late." She admitted. While watching Paine get herself situated in the driver's seat.

Paine buckled her seatbelt. "I know, Lai stopped me in the library, I would have been earlier, but I still needed to get some books." She motioned to the tiny back seat of the car where a stack of multi colored textbook sized library books lay.

"It's okay." Rikku turned to look at what Paine was pointing at. "Gee, which class is this?"

"Occupational Standards 2 and Nutrition Science. I have to do some food label take home thing tonight and well—" She paused to reverse. "Yeah its fucking lame, but I gotta do it."

"Are you finding the class interesting at all?"

Paine nodded as she shifted into drive. "Yeah, we're learning about which digestive track organs secrete acidic chime, and what buffers are made naturally by the body to control that environment, mainly the stomach. In lab tomorrow we are going to play with hydrochloric acid, which was awesome."

Rikku chuckled. "That's… Nice Babe."

Paine tossed Rikku a small smile before looking back onto the road. "You think its lame."

"No no no." Rikku tried.

"It's okay; we don't have to like everything."

Rikku chuckled. "How did Saturday go? You never said anything."

Paine glanced at Rikku. "It was… Good"

_Flashback_

_Paine fixed her eyes on Martha. "If he comes near her again I'll kill him, and that's not me being angry that's me being nice."_

"_So you admit to having homicidal thoughts—"_

_Paine nodded. "You wouldn't? _

_Martha sent Paine a disapproving look. "Paine—"_

"_No, we can sit here and talk about why I'm sad or angry all the time, and how it is or it isn't justified, but he put his hands on her to hurt her, and there is no amount of therapy that can change the way I feel about it."_

_A minute passed._

_Martha nodded slowly and jotted something down. "Let's move on then…."_

_End Flashback_

"Good?"

Paine hesitated before nodding. "Yeah."

"I'm really proud of you. You slept when you got home right?"

"Yeah, I meant to call but it was just so draining…"

"I understand." Rikku sat back in her seat and patted Paine's shoulder. "I finally got around to scheduling a few things myself and… I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be, you'll be okay."

They hadn't had much time to check in on each other since Saturday morning. Sunday they cooked with Yuna, but that was different. Paine sighed and glanced to Rikku at her right. "You want to stay over tonight?" It would give them some time to talk. It was a nice enough day; Paine was hoping that the evening would be nice where they could just sit on the roof for old time's sake.

Rikku nodded and then chuckled. "Pops thinks we spend way too much time together."

Paine groaned. So they were still fighting about it. "We do. I woke up this morning and turned to say good morning, but you weren't there."

Rikku smiled brightly. "That's so cute Paine."

"No." Paine laughed. "Anyway I figured if you wanted we could do our homework and then just chill, I don't know who is going to be home, Gippal doesn't work on Monday's but I doubt he'll be around that late."

"Alright yeah, we'd have to swing by my place though to get some things." Paine nodded. "Are you nervous at all about lunch today?"

Paine shrugged. "A little, but I was _forced_ to talk with Cid remember? I think I can handle this one. I'm more _prepared_, more _ready_, more aware and conscious of my _own_ ability to—"

Rikku laughed. "Okay okay I get it, no more pushing from me geez."

They drove to the restaurant in light conversation. Rikku talked about the art assignment they were working on in design class, and how the instructor complimented her skills after pushing her. Paine talked about some of her classes as well, but mostly listened. They finally made it to the casual lunch spot Kirill recommended and found parking a block away.

"You're getting quiet on me." Rikku observed, she took Paine's hand in hers and swayed them.

Paine turned to Rikku. "Am I?"

"Yup."

"Well I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

Paine shrugged. "Let's just get this over with."

Rikku chuckled to herself. "He's my brother, I mean, if you plan on sticking around you'll have to get over—"

"Good thing I don't plan on sticking around huh?"

Rikku laughed while shoving her gently. "You're such a bitch." Paine laughed too.

Kirill watched as his sister took Paine's hand and then shoved her playfully. They looked like a real couple, just minding their own business walking up the street, but then something happened. A few guys walked passed them and must have said something to cause Paine to stop in her tracks and turn around. Rikku looked annoyed as she tried to tug on Paine's arm.

"Paine. Forget them."

Paine let go of her hand. "No, you guys have something to say?" she asked approaching the three young men who stopped and were now snickering amongst themselves.

"Well yeah, I was just telling my buddies here that it's a damn shame and maybe she just hasn't been introduced to the right man to help her out of her dyke confusion… or would it be dick confusion." He motioned to Rikku and then boldly broke from the group to extend his hand for Rikku to shake. "Hi Ms, I'm Raymond."

Rikku didn't even need to look at Paine to know she was fuming. She had to decided quickly what her next course of action was before Paine fed him his balls. "C'mon Paine, forget these assholes." She grabbed both of Paine's arms and tried to move her, but she was a lot heavier than she looked.

Paine glared daggers at "Raymond." "You want to keep that had to jerk off with? I suggest you move it from in front of my girlfriend right fucking now." She growled.

Raymond raised an eyebrow in acute surprise and then chuckled. "Wow girlfriends? So when can I watch?"

"Paine." Rikku was flat out dragging her away at this point. Paine easily shrugged Rikku off and walked right up to the ring leader.

"Do we have a problem here?" Kirill asked walking up to the group. He glanced at his sister to make sure she was okay before looking at Paine and Raymond. "You guys saying something to upset _my_ little sister?" He cracked his knuckles.

Raymond shook his head quickly. "T-that's your sister Mr. Bayla? Ah man, I'm sorry w-we didn't know that." He shrunk about twice in size as he took a step back from Paine who was still glaring at him like she wanted to throttle him.

"Get the hell outta here!" Raymond's friends took off and Raymond turned to run too, except Paine kicked her foot out and tripped him, causing him to fall chin first into the concrete sidewalk.

Kirill seemed impressed. Rikku just shook her head.

Paine eyed him for a second and then turned around not even caring if Raymond was bleeding, which he was. "Let's just go." She grumbled grabbing Rikku's hand again and walking away from the fallen boy.

"You didn't have to trip him…" Rikku said quietly to which she just got a look in return, she gave one back and Paine seemed to settle down a little.

"You two okay?" Kirill asked as he caught up with his sister and Paine.

"Fine." Was Paine's response as she tried to calm down enough to have a civil lunch.

Rikku nodded. "Although I'm sure Paine could have handled that." She stole a glance at her girlfriend. "Thanks for stepping in."

"No problem." Kirill nodded. "What jerks huh? You guys didn't do anything to them." He frowned while wondering if this happened a lot. "Paine was it? Nice job, bet he won't think about messing with you two again."

"Yeah well, I kinda hope he does."

"Oh shush." Rikku shook her head then turned to look at her brother. "Paine's a black belt, so she can't really fight people just like that and get away with it."

Kirill seemed surprised. "Black belt in what?"

"Judo." Paine shrugged and felt a small squeeze at her hand. "Um… I've been doing it a little while." She spoke up when Rikku gave her the silent warning. "It helps."

Kirill chuckled. "Yeah I could see." He went ahead to open the door for the couple to the restaurant.

They were soon seated at a round table for lunch. A waitress came and took their drink orders and handed them the special menu to look at. "Does that happen often?" Kirill finally asked.

Paine and Rikku glanced at each other. "We don't um, hold hands a lot and stuff at school." Rikku spoke up. "In the city though it's more of stares than people actually saying stuff…" She trailed off and looked at Paine. That was the first time someone had actually come up to them and said something.

"I'm sorry." Kirill scratched the back of his head. He had woken up today and decided to really go into this with an open mind. He was worried about what type of relationship his sister was in, but now that he was seeing what kind of person Paine was, and how they acted, he knew she would be just fine with her.

"That's just how it is." Paine said looking down to her menu.

Rikku frowned. "Let's talk about something else." She looked to her brother for some help.

Kirill nodded, "Okay, um, how did you two meet?"

Paine and Rikku glanced at one another again. "She spilled iced coffee all over me and my term paper." The uncertain looks they were giving each other soon turned into small smiles.

Rikku giggled. "She was so pissed!"

##

Paine excused herself for the restroom.

"She's got an attitude, I like her." Kirill nodded at the questioning look on Rikku's face.

"Pretty too right?"

"She's attractive; forgive me if I didn't notice the other night while you were blocking her face with your mouth." He watched with triumph as Rikku blushed heavily. "Never thought we'd be having this kind of conversation though sis."

Rikku sighed. "I know, but… I'm glad we could."

Kirill took a sip of his water and smiled a little. "Yeah well, if she makes you happy and treats you right, I'm good."

She smiled again at him. "Oui ryja hu etay fryd drec sayhc du sa."

Kirill nodded. "Hey, now we can compare dates huh?"

Rikku laughed. "My girlfriend's model material, and the last girl you dated had a massive overbite." Rikku teased.

"She wasn't that bad!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Guess this mean war then?" He narrowed his eyes playfully. They had always had a competitive spirit between them.

Rikku waved him off while reaching over and grabbing a french fry off of Paine's plate. "Pai would win every time."

Kirill laughed a little. "At least your taste in women isn't as bad as your taste in men!" He jabbed. "What ever happened to Fender?"

"That wasn't his name!" Rikku blushed remembering her first boyfriend ever.

"Yeah well his face sure looked like one."

"Wow you're so funny." Rikku rolled her eyes and laughed. She missed play fighting with him.

Kirill continued to laugh at the look on her face. "Ay, and at least I don't have to worry about you crushing on Auron anymore. Don't act like you didn't."

Rikku's face fell.

Kirill continued to laugh until he noticed the drastic change in her expression. "What?"

"Back." Paine spoke as she sat down in her chair. She quickly accessed what she had walked in on. "Did you just tell him? You want me to—" She was cut off by Rikku's glare.

"Tell me what?"

##

"Cu fa'mm dymg mydan nekrd?" Kirill asked. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"Yeah, E bnuseca." Rikku hugged him and then got into the car with Paine.

"You want me to just take you home?" Paine asked as she watched Rikku buckle up and wave to her brother.

"No." Rikku shook her head. "But let's stop there so I can get some things for tonight."

Paine nodded and let Rikku stay silent for the majority of the car ride. She knew what had almost just happened, and she knew that Rikku had dodged a bullet. Paine just wished she wouldn't dwell on it so much though. The words would come to her when the time was right. "How did I do?" Curiosity striking her out of nowhere.

Rikku broke from her thought and smiled at Paine. "You did great, he really likes you."

Paine smiled. "So I've won over the Bayla's then."

Rikku smiled a little wider at what she was trying to do. "It seems so." They reached the house and Rikku hopped out. "I'll be right back." Paine nodded and drummed her fingers lightly onto the steering wheel. Remembering something she pulled out her phone to call Wakka to talk to him about trying to work out a little bit. She wanted to see what she could do, and she didn't want Rikku to know what she was planning. The Al bhed would not approve and Paine knew it. Still Rikku didn't understand, she hadn't worked out in weeks! She felt sluggish and just all around crabby. She needed this like Rikku needed her art. After getting a hold of Wakka and telling him to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing she began to grow impatient.

"C'mon Rikks…." She looked up to the house and was about to get out when her girlfriend burst from the front door with her school bag and a orange and yellow overnight one. She took the steps three at a time and Paine could see that even her ears were a dark red with blush. Paine let her eyes follow the blonde as she ran in front of the car and quickly hopped into the passenger's seat. "What in the—"

"Drive!"

"What happened?"

"I said just drive!"

"Alright shit." Paine took off as instructed.

Rikku lay back in the car seat and put her hands over her face. "Do you have bleach? Tell me you have bleach in the trunk."

"I do not have bleach in the trunk, no." Paine glanced at Rikku again. A laugh developed in her throat. "What did you see?"

Rikku jumped to sit up in her seat. "I think I'm gonna be sick…"

"I couldn't be that bad, whatever it was…"

"I saw… I saw…mhh…" Rikku rubbed her eyes. "Holy Shiva bmayca ramb sa!"

Paine chuckled. "Do I want to know?"

"They were naked, naked and sweaty and—"

Paine burst out into laughter. "Go Cid."

"No, not go Cid! No go Cid, this was sick and wrong and Leblanc has a tattoo of—" Rikku capped her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes. "Oh God…"

"Rikku…" She glanced from the road to her girlfriend a few times. "Rikku, not in the car!" Paine could see the very real possibility of her throwing up. Rikku made a thick gargling noise as her body lurched forward. "Fuck." Paine cursed as she reached a hand behind her to find some kind of bag in the back seat. Before she knew what was happening she pulled her gym bag out and handed it to Rikku just in time for Rikku's lunch to coat whatever was inside of it like salad dressing. Paine stared at her in disbelief at the next stop light. "You threw up in my fucking gym bag?"

"You gave it to me!" Rikku whined reaching for some napkins in Paine's glove compartment. "I'm sorry!"

"This brings your drama to a whole new level."

"I'm sorry!"

"Unfuckingbelievable." Paine shook her head as she reached a hand over to rub Rikku's back soothingly.

##

Cid watched her quickly step into her slacks and straighten up slipping her bra on quickly. "Juli—"

"No" Leblanc shook her head frantically. Her legs felt like jello and her face had an almost permanent tinge of red from when Rikku walked in on them. "This was a mistake." She never did stop shaking her head. "I just left a few things here... That I needed to get…"

Cid fought the look on his face. "It wasn't a mistake, don't say that."

Leblanc hurried to grab her heels. "I should have never come here."

"I'm glad you did." He walked over to where Leblanc stood and rested a hand on her shoulder. He wanted to say so much to her but… "Would you look at me at least damnit?" She was acting like they were never together at all, and it really hurt.

Leblanc shrugged him off in her hurry and mumbled no before leaving.

Cid exhaled in frustration and turned to kick over a dining room chair.

##

"I can clean it out…" Rikku attempted in a small voice as Paine stopped at a gas station to get rid of the gym bag. "What if there is stuff in there…"

"There was, but I'm just going to toss it." She grabbed the bag from Rikku and shook her head before exiting the car.

"Paine..."

"Stay in the car Rikku." Paine called behind her. She appreciated Rikku's concern but her gloves were in the bag, and once something like vomit got on the Velcro and the shabby material there was no way of getting it out. Paine chucked the bag and paused before entering the convent store. She needed a minute.

"Baby…" Rikku began once Paine got back into the car with a full plastic bag and a few empty ones.

Paine handed her the empty bags. "What?"

"I feel really bad…"

"Don't, you were…. Sick, its fine." She buckled her seatbelt and pulled out of the gas station without another word.

Nooj and Gippal were walking out the door when Paine and Rikku arrived. "Candles are under the sink, y'know… Just in case you want to set the mood." Gippal joked as he passed the duo.

Nooj shook his head and pushed Gippal out the door before saying goodbye. "I picked you up some stuff." Paine motioned to the bag in her hand. "Here, give me your bag and I'll put it upstairs," Paine planted the plastic bag from the gas station on the kitchen counter and took Rikku's overnight bag and disappeared up the stairs.

Rikku sighed at herself. She was a real mess if she ever saw one. After placing her school bag in the living room she went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water before curiously looking into the bag Paine brought. She smiled at what she found.

A six pack of ginger ale in mini cans

A light purple and yellow toothbrush

A bag of dark chocolate hershe's kisses

"You like the colors? All the pink ones were really stupid looking."

Rikku looked up in surprise at how fast Paine had moved back downstairs. "Yeah it's perfect." Rikku just smiled at Paine as she went to pour her some ginger ale. It was moments like this that she wished other people got to see. Instead, they got tough Paine, who'd trip you and leave you with a busted up chin without a second thought. Rikku leaned against the counter and waved the toothbrush a little. "You know what this means right?"

Paine looked up from pouring the glass. "What?"

"Well we both have toothbrushes now."

Paine shook her head and went back to making sure she didn't spill. "So?"

"So that means that we both are committed to each other."

"A toothbrush means all that?" Paine exchanged the glass of water in Rikku's hands for the ginger ale.

Rikku shrugged. "In the movies at least."

Paine shook her head again. "Hate to break it to yuh Princess, but this ain't the movies."

"So you're not really committed to me?"

"I don't think my other girlfriends—"

"Girlfriends? There is more than one other one now?"

Paine grinned. "I work fast." Rikku huffed and mumbled something about it taking four months to kiss her. Paine chuckled and walked over to her before pecking Rikku on the forehead. "You know I'm only joking right?" Rikku began opening the toothbrush, she really want to kiss that little look on Paine's face right now, but that would be gross. Paine reached for her hands to stop her. "You're the only person I ever bought a toothbrush, how's that?"

Rikku chuckled. "Sounds good to me Pypo."

##

"Never?" Paine asked in a whisper.

Rikku giggled and shook her head no. "Nope, never."

Paine pulled on Rikku's right hand "You probably have a tan mark there or something." They were cuddled up on the living room couch pretending to watch TV. It was late, and the air had foiled Paine's plans by getting a little cold. Too cold for the roof. Homework was finished, and their stomachs were full and warm. They had even changed into shorts and comfortable shirts. For Paine it was a white tank top and Rikku it was a light purple sleeping shirt with a cloud on it.

Rikku playfully pulled her hand back. "I'll never know."

"Never?" Paine asked again. She had been asking that for the past ten minutes.

"Oui, Paine, never, hajan."

Paine chuckled and grabbed her hand back. "But why?"

Rikku pulled her hand away again. "Because, it's my grand Papa's ring."

Paine pulled her hand back again. "He must have had small hands…"

She pulled away again with a giggle. "It was the ring he forged for my grandma."

"He made her a ring? Then why do you have it?"

Rikku rolled her eyes playfully. "Do you know nothing?" Paine grabbed her hand again. "Paine!"

"C'mon tell me what it's about. I wanna know."

She gave up ownership of her hand with a sigh. "Well it's Al Bhed customs to give the girl you are courting a ring, kinda like a warning for all the other guys that hey, she's being courted the right way, back off." Paine nodded as she played with Rikku's hand. "So anyway, it means a whole bunch of other stuff like friendship and respect and things, but its main purpose is to symbolize a more grown up way at looking at dating someone. I guess it…"

Rikku had trailed off and just watched Paine for a moment. It was kind of like watching a child play with a glass snow globe for the first time. Her hands were gentle but strong, and her gaze young and curious. It was really cute, and Rikku had never seen that look before.

"Is there more?" Paine looked up.

"Yeah." Rikku nodded quickly trying to remember where she left off. "Oh! So okay, it's not really Al bhed tradition, more of a family one… But my grand Papa gave it to my grandmother, and then she gave it to my mom, then Pops got her one cause he's old fashion like that. So then one day when I was little my mom sat me down and explained how important the ring was to her and why she was giving it to me. She put it on this hand herself when I was little." Rikku waved at Paine with her right hand. "I had to take it off once… Poison ivy."

Paine nodded. "Oh."

"But I remember thinking it was the end of the world, so I ran home and begged her to put it back on once my hand got better." Rikku smiled fondly at the memory. "I had to get it cleaned every now and then, but I'm old enough to know that it's okay."

"Where is the ring your father gave to your mother?"

"Kirill has it, she left it in her will for him." Rikku laughed a little. "I always used to joke that mine was more important, he'd get so mad." She let Paine play with her palm some more. "Everyone on Ma's side of the family is either dying, dead, or pissed at Pops for moving us here, I'm kind of glad I have this piece of it though."

"Do you want to talk?" She looked like she had a lot on her mind.

Rikku grew thoughtful, then shook her head no and smiled at Paine. "No, let's just cuddle, pretty soon I'm gonna have all the time in the world to talk, and not enough cuddling time." Mondays were always the calm before the storm.

Paine sighed and reached for the remote on the coffee table. The back was missing and someone had used masking tape to keep the dying batteries in place. "You wanna watch a movie?" Paine waited for her to nod. "Alright." She lifted her arm and smiled to herself as Rikku cuddled up there.

"Nothing with blood, guts, or weapons." Rikku warned as she got more comfortable.

Paine chuckled and rested her arm down around Rikku. "Fine, but I swear to God if you make me watch a romantic comedy, I'll be the one throwing up."

##

She stared down at the prints; not really knowing what to say, but knowing exactly how she felt.

"This was the best that you could do?" She asked angrily. She didn't mean to, but the anger she had for herself somehow wouldn't allow for a charming tone.

"You said you wanted—"

"You can't even see her face!" She didn't need to though. It was all so very clear, and all of a sudden she wanted to be left alone. She tossed the papers back to him and hugged her coat tightly. "I'm not paying the second half for those; get me something that proves you know how to use a damn camera." She spat before turning and exiting the dark alley.

She wanted Paul to be right, but then again when was he ever?

**AN: Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

Rikku raised an eyebrow. "What they don't feed you at home?" She joked as Paine sat across from her and pulled the plastic lid off of her pasta. It looked like there was enough to feed two Wakka's.

Paine tossed her an amused look before picking up her plastic fork. "I didn't eat breakfast, and this is for dinner too."

It was Thursday afternoon and the two had met up for lunch. It was the only time they had spoken to each other all day.

Rikku nodded and reached for her lemonade. "Ah right, you work real late tonight."

Paine nodded with a mouthful of food. "Mhm." She swallowed and then reached for her water bottle. "Are you ready for today?"

Today was the day that Rikku and her Brother were going to sit down and talk.

Rikku nodded. "After talking about and thinking about and dreaming about it…" Paine chuckled. "I just want to get it over with." She picked up her six inch sandwich and took a bite out of it.

Paine reached for a napkin and leaned forward to get some of the mustard off of Rikku's chin. Rikku blushed lightly but smiled at her girlfriend. She looked around the student union where they were eating and decided that it was ok to reach a hand out for Paine's.

Paine let her take her hand with a small smile. "Should get you a bib…"

Rikku giggled. "Let's do something fun this weekend."

Paine sighed. "I have a lot of homework…"

Rikku pouted. "Pleassseeeeee."

"I'll—"

"Rikku hey!"

Rikku pulled her hand out of Paine's quickly and looked behind her. "Oh, hey Buddy."

Buddy smiled brightly at Rikku almost not even noticing Paine there. "How's it going?"

Paine raised an eyebrow.

Rikku shrugged. "Ah, y'know. It's going." She motioned to Paine. "I don't think you guys have met before. This is Paine, my—"

"Yeah your good friend, you told me about her." He stuck out a meaty hand to Paine. "Nice to meet you, I'm Brandon."

Paine stole a look at Rikku. "Yeah, yeah a _good_ friend." She shook Buddy's hand.

Buddy shifted his attention back to Rikku. "Hey so I was wondering if you knew a good place to buy some of those pencils we used in class yesterday."

Rikku nodded. "Sheadren Square has a bunch of little things here and there…"

"Nice, um, would you want to come with me to check it out? I mean, we already established that out of the two of us you were more… Artistically inclined."

Paine wasn't sure of what she was feeling as she watched the two. A few things were obvious though, he had no game whatsoever, and he had a thing for Rikku, a big thing.

"Uh.." Rikku hesitated. "Sure, I mean, I have no time today or tomorrow…"

"How about Saturday? We can make a day of it, if you like."

Rikku nodded. "Maybe."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Buddy paused and looked over at Paine before leaving.

"Guess you have plans then." Paine shook her head before stabbing more of the penne pasta and mushrooms. Okay so this Buddy guy was an absolute chump, but she didn't actually believe Rikku would say yes. She was irritated and she knew it came off in her tone, she wished it didn't.

Rikku groaned. "I'm sorry baby."

"Don't be, it's whatever, have fun on your date."

It was like word vomit, once she started Paine couldn't stop.

Rikku stared at her trying to decipher what that actually meant. "It's not a date."

Paine shrugged. "Sure sounded like one."

"I don't even like him like that."

"Yeah, but he likes you."

Rikku shook her head. "Paine."

"What? He's a junior in college am I right? Why in the hell would he need help looking for pencils?"

Rikku sunk in her seat. "They're a very specific kind…"

Paine raised an eyebrow. "But let's make a day out of it?" She shook her head. "He likes you."

"Fine, but I don't like him, and I have a girlfriend." Rikku sat up in her seat motioning to Paine almost proudly.

"Not to him you don't." Paine closed the lid on her pasta. "We're just good friends."

Rikku shook her head in disbelief. "You can't be mad at me."

"Mad at my girlfriend for agreeing to go on a date with some blitzer?" Paine asked. "No." She shook her head. "C'mon Rikks, even you can't be that clueless."

Rikku felt the sting of that comment. "Even me huh? Well maybe I will go out on this date."

Paine stood. "Whatever."

"Whatever?" Rikku rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "That's all you have to say?"

Paine shrugged and picked up her things. "Do whatever you want, Princess."

##

"How's the lady?" Kirill asked as he and his little sister walked along the port side city of Luca. It was a beautiful day out, probably the last of its kind. The sky blue, and the sea breeze warm.

As much as she loved fall she was going to miss summer.

Rikku sighed heavily and adjusted her sunglasses on her face. "She's mad at me."

"Uh oh, what happened?"

She didn't hesitate to tell her brother exactly what happened as they strolled. .It felt so good to be open with him about it. "She knows I don't even like the guy…"

"Does she? I mean, you don't really know if you're…"

"Gay."

Kirill nodded. "Right, I mean, and he doesn't know you might be either. She might take it as you still trying to figure it out."

Rikku sighed. "Oayr pid ed ech'd mega dryd yd ymm. Paine knows, she's just being difficult."

Kirill shrugged. "It looks like she can be, but I don't know sis, maybe it hurt her feelings."

Rikku slowed down a little. That was the last thing she ever wanted to happen. Paine was her girl, didn't she know that? Buddy was a nice guy, but she didn't know him all too well, and okay, so maybe her judgment was off on the whole thing. "I'm not a mind reader."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'll let him down easy."

Kirill chuckled. "That's a Bayla for yuh, breaking hearts and taking names."

##

Paine and Tidus were clutching their stomachs in laughter.

"Den, she pulls out all dese list's ya? And I'm like Lu, c'mon let's be realistic, and then she just looks at me, looks at me like… like if I say another word ya? She'd do black magic on me or something!"

Paine shook her head. "I wouldn't put it past her to know black magic."

Wakka had stopped by after a class because he knew both Tidus and Paine were working. He hadn't seen them in a while and wanted to invite them over.

"Last time I try and go wit her to Home Goods ya." Wakka shook his head with a little laugh. "Ay so what you guys doing this Sunday, come over. Lu's going out with Yuna for somethin' all day, thought we could watch the game. Dr. P I gotta show you the work out facility in the complex, I think you'll like it. Bring Gip and everybody too."

"Yu sure the Mrs. is allowing you to have guests?" Tidus asked.

Wakka thought about that, his silence causing the two to laugh more. "You're whipped."

"I'm not whipped brudda."

"Whipped like cream." Tidus grinned.

##

"So…um, then it just started like that and… That's how I really met Paine…"

Kirill sat there with no expression on his face.

Rikku hugged her knees to her body, she was shaking and she knew if she tried to speak continuously she would begin to cry, that's why pauses were necessary. "When I met her it just… I just made me realize what was going on wasn't right or fair. I had feelings for her the moment I met her and opening up to her was easy, but then it just made me feel worse because…" She needed to pause again. "Because she didn't need to say anything for me to know that it hurt a little. We hardly knew each other and I was already hurting her. So I… I just stopped."

Kirill clenched a fist in his right hand but his face remained emotionless.

Rikku sighed and wiped her face. "He didn't like that…"

"Did he hurt you?" Kirill all but growl from his spot beside Rikku on windy pier, they were sitting on a bench looking out onto the water.

Rikku paused. "He tried t-to—" She glanced at her brother as he shifted abruptly in his seat. "Paine saved me though she uh, she pretty much kicked his ass big time and I was just so scared Brother. Naymmo naymmo clynat. Then Paine almost got locked up for protecting me… She's always looking out for me and I just, I just wanted to tell you what really happened and why I know that I don't want anyone else. I know you have already accepted her but… Now you know."

Kirill stared ahead of them at the water for a long time, Rikku didn't bother interrupting him. "E lyh'd pameaja dryd cuh uv y pedlr fuimt dno drec…" He was so angry right now, but he knew that that time for Rikku had passed, and now she was in this weird place of trying to move on. He needed to do the one thing that he wanted to avoid.

He needed to speak to his father.

"Are you alright…?" Brother looked over to Rikku. It made sense now why she seemed so grown, why she had seemed so changed.

"I'm trying to be." She answered honestly. "I really am."

##

Paine saved the document and reclined in her chair a little. She checked the time on her phone and frowned. It was just a reminder of how long she and Rikku hadn't spoken. Today was a very big day for her, and Paine wanted to know how everything went. Regardless of their little fight this afternoon she was still her girlfriend, and she still cared about her. Paine turned in her desk and stood. "I'll be right back." She announced to an unusually quiet Tidus.

"Yup yup!" He chirped making Paine wince a little.

Paine slipped on her leather jacket and walked outside to small smoker's gazebo outside of the rec center entrance. She sat down and stretched out her legs before pulling out her cell phone.

##

This had to be the most award situation ever.

Rikku, Kirill and Cid were seated at the formal dining room table having a late family dinner.

Rikku was trying not to look at her father for obvious reasons. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye for a couple years without wanting to throw up again.

Kirill was trying to look at Cid to get his attention. He didn't want to speak though, because that would have meant that he had lost.

Cid was staring at his plate, not really knowing what to do next. He was making an effort though. He needed to make an effort for them.

For a few minutes all that could be heard was the clinking of silverware, and the occasional clearing of the throat. They hadn't all sat down for a dinner in this room in years.

Rikku jumped causing both men to look up at her. "So bruha... Fyc uh jepnyda, aqlica sa." Rikku jumped up from her seat and stole a last bite of her food before running off. They needed to work their drama out alone; her being there would only make things harder. Rikku picked up her phone once she reached the top step of the staircase.

"Hello?"

"Hey Princess."

It was very different from the sarcastic one she got earlier in the day. It made Rikku smile a little. "Hey Pypo."

Paine sighed. "I just wanted to see how you were…" She bit the corner of her mouth. "I've been thinking about you all day." She looked around making sure no one had heard her.

Rikku smiled fully now "Me too, I miss you, and I need to say sorry for hurting your feelings today. I won't go shopping with Buddy if you don't want me to."

"You should go if you want, just..." Paine shrugged. "I don't want to be the type to tell you what you can and cannot do."

"I'm going to tell him that you're my girlfriend." She had already made up her mind.

Paine nodded. "I would never want to rush you…"

"No, he should know that he has no chance." She made it to her room and closed the door behind her. "He should know that you're all I think about."

Paine smiled, she was feeling that warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach and her chest felt tight. She didn't know what was happening to her, but it felt nice. Maybe Gippal was right, maybe she was going soft. "You gonna tell him all that?"

Rikku chuckled lightly. "Maybe not exactly what I'm thinking…" She heard Paine laugh and smiled to herself. "I am glad you called though, Pai. You would not believe what's happening here."

"Is everything okay?"

"I think so… So I told Brother." She took a seat on her bed. "I told him and he was real quiet for a long time and it was hard, but you'd be so proud of me cause I didn't even cry.

"Good job, Ri."

"I know!"

"So what's happening now?"

"Can you talk? Aren't you at work?"

Paine shrugged. "I'll count this as my dinner break."

Rikku glanced at the time and frowned. "You haven't eaten yet?'

"I'm fine, tell me what's happening."

Rikku sighed and recounted the evening from when she met Brother at the pier to talk, till they arrived home to Cid cooking a big meal for him and Rikku. She supposed it was an apology dinner for having to see him and Leblanc like that. However he was surprised to see Kirill standing nervously behind her. No words were exchanged after that, and they all sat down to eat, and then that's when Paine called and saved her from the silence that was settling in all corners of the downstairs. "It's kind of spooky, I mean, no one is talking, and the whole house is quiet."

"You want me to let you go?"

"No way, even if you have to go I'm not going back down there, they need to settle this not talking thing. Especially since Pop is giving him half of the half business."

"You don't think he'll sell it?"

"Nah I think he will. I already called Uncle B to talk about it."

Paine was a little surprised. "You're thinking about selling your half?"

Rikku sighed. "I have been thinking about it a lot, and… I don't know what's going to happen, but I know I gave up the dream of being a hot shot lawyer like Pops years ago."

"Yeah."

"I just, I couldn't do it."

"Do what?"

"Tell him. Now I don't have to."

"Actions do speak louder than words."

Rikku nodded. "But I'm Pre-Law, and I graduate in the summer so…"

"You think he'll be pissed?"

"Maybe a little, but I'm just more worried about what I supposed to do with my life. Today Brother asked me if I was going to be okay, then he asked me what was next. It just really got me thinking."

"Thinking is good."

"Yeah…"

"So what's your father going to do once this deal goes through?"

"I guess he's going to…" Rikku paused. She had never really stopped to ask her father what he was planning on doing, or why he was even giving his share of the company away.

Paine chuckled. "Didn't even cross your mind huh?"

"Well he's been a lawyer my whole life!"

Paine chuckled more. "I'm sure he's good at other things too."

"Pops? Meh."

##

Paine checked the time; she had been outside for thirty minutes now. "Hey Rikks, I gotta head back in before Tidus has a panic attack."

"Come over tonight." She heard Paine sigh. "Pleaaasseee. I need you here just in case something goes down."

"Nothing's going down, I promise." Paine laughed. "You're so dramatic."

"So you'll come?"

Paine smiled. "Yeah."

"Call me when you get here."

##

Rikku wondered if her father and brother even remembered her existence.

She had heard their similar tones escalade into something, and then settle, and then start back up again. And this was all from the top step on the staircase. Sometimes she caught the tail end of what they said, but never the whole sentence. It didn't sound like anything was being really resolved; just rehashing on the things that drove Brother away. Rikku felt a little sorry for both of them. If they would only stop for a few moments they would realize that they had both changed. Rikku was debating going downstairs again when her cell phone clutched in her left hand began to buzz. "Paine." She whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Paine asked.

"Cause… Listen I don't want to be loud and open the door so—"

"I got this, go to your room." Paine grinned before ending the call and walking around to the side of the house.

Challenge accepted.

Rikku grew confused but did as she was told. She closed her bedroom door and waited in the middle of her room before jumping when she heard something out her window. She grabbed her baseball bat from by the door and held it nervously above her as she inched toward the window.

Paine held herself up with her weaker left hand as she rapped on Rikku's window with her right.

Rikku jumped and mumbled an al bhed prayer as she opened the window and swung the bat. "Ahh!"

"What in fu—!" Paine ducked and nearly fell off the side of the building. "Are you trying to kill me woman!"

"Paine?" Rikku squeaked. She had ducked down after swinging.

"Yes!"

"Ohmygosh!" Rikku dropped the bat and looked over the side of her house to see Paine holding expertly onto some vines and a few moldings. "Are you insane!" She quickly opened the window more and reached a hand out for Paine. Paine looked at her hand and took it carefully. She entered her room with a thud but on her feet.

"What the hell!" Paine asked brushing her sleeves off.

Rikku hit her lightly on the arm. "Are you trying to get killed!"

"I told you to go to your room! What did you think I was going to do fucking teleport in here?"

"I spook easy, you should know this!" Rikku shook her head at Paine and sighed while putting a hand to her chest and trying to even out her breathing.

"I'm sorry."

"No no, I'm sorry." Rikku closed the distance between them. "I'm sorry, Pypo, are you okay?" Rikku started putting her hands on Paine's arms as if checking her. "Hm?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, thank Shiva for fast reflexes."

"Cunno cunno." Rikku grabbed the lapels of Paine's jacket and pulled her down to kiss her.

Paine wrapped her arms around Rikku's waist when she realized it wasn't just a greeting kiss. "It's okay." Paine mumbled between kisses. The adrenaline she was just feeling was quickly changing into something else as they stood there kissing tenderly. Rikku ran her hands down Paine's neck and gently pushed at her leather jacket. It was getting in the way of her feeling Paine's arms. Paine removed her jacket quickly and pulled Rikku closer to her so their chests were pressing against each others.

"Mm." Rikku sighed when the kiss turned into a slow open mouthed one. Her body heat was on a steady incline and she could feel the base of her stomach tense every now and then. There had been this subtle shift in things ever since last weekend. They were touching more, kissing more. Rikku wasn't complaining at all. She liked when Paine was this close, The tricky part was maintaining that level of self control. Rikku didn't think she was ready for anything more than they were doing right now, and she knew Paine understood, but she swore the other woman would do certain things on purpose just to tease her. Rikku shivered when Paine ran her hands down her back making a slight indent with her fingertips in a clawing motion.

It was all Paine could do to calm herself. The last thing she wanted to do was push Rikku by acting like some kind of horny teenager. Rikku deserved better, she deserved all the respect in the world and that's what Paine was going to give her. This wasn't just some fling. Paine was scared for herself because she cared for Rikku on a whole other level than she originally expected to. She didn't want to rush, because when you rushed you made mistakes. And a mistake in this area would kill them. She felt herself get a little angry as a thought passed through her. It was the smallest bit of anger, but it was there. How could anyone kiss these lips and not be completely brought to their knees?

Little did she know Rikku was thinking the exact same thing about Paine. Paine had this way of holding her so close and kissing her like she wouldn't get a chance to again. Maybe she was afraid she wouldn't. Maybe that fear had been there the whole time. Rikku needed her to know that at this point in the game she wasn't going anywhere. But this was young, and they were young, and a part of Rikku couldn't shake what her brother had said. _If it were to end…_ She didn't know if her world could go on the same, or at all. Rikku deepened the kiss at this thought causing Paine's grip around her to tighten. Rikku wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist and backed them up slowly, making sure not to break their kiss as the back of her knees hit her bed.

##

"No!" Kirill had had it. "No more excuses for what happened! She didn't want to leave that night but you made her, you fucking made her and she died, she's dead because of you!"

Cid was stunned into silence.

Kirill growled before delivering the last line that he had been waiting all evening to say. His anger reaching a level that he couldn't even control his shaking body. "Yht hud uhmo ryt cra ryt du knuf ib fedruid y sudran un ghufehk dra dnidr, pid huf drec? Oui temidat cuh uv pedlr. Ouin uhmo tyikrdan fyc ymsucd nybat eh ran ufh rusa yht oui drehg oui lyh syga y vaf lryhkac rana yht drana yht palusa vydran uv dra oayn?" He shook his head. "I'm not impressed with you."

##

Paine and Rikku both picked their heads from kissing on Rikku's bed. They had just heard a loud slam. "What was that?" Paine asked.

"I'd like to know." Rikku said as she shuffled to her feet. Paine was right behind her.

"Pop! Brother!" Rikku called as she came running down the stairs.

Rikku came to a skidding stop when she noticed her father still in the dining room with his head in his hands. Rikku glanced at around the room at their forgotten plates, the fallen chair he had been taking his frustrations out on all week. Rikku glanced at Paine and then slowly made her way over to where her father was sitting. "Po—"

"Ahuikr Milan!" He made Rikku jump.

She shook her in confusion. "No."

"Leave, just leave me."

Rikku felt her heart breaking. "No Pop. E muja oui, E't hajan mayja oui ymuha." They had their issues, but Rikku meant that with every ounce of her being.

Cid shrugged her hand off his shoulder. "You wouldn't if you knew. You would blame me too."

"What are you talking about…"

Cid looked up at her and winced. She looked exactly like her. He turned away. Kirill was right, he had raised him to be honest and tonight he was nothing but, even if he didn't want to hear it. "Your mother left, she—" Rikku had rested her hand back on his shoulder. "She left, was leaving because of me. That night, I… I made her leave this house in tears Milan. I made her leave and then….."

Rikku's hand slipped away.

"You said…"

"You were so young."

Paine could see Rikku's entire body beg for air as she just stood there.

Rikku didn't say anything as she turned and locked eyes with Paine. Paine knew that look all too well. She motioned for her to come, there was something very personal about stepping into the family dining room that she didn't want to disrupt. Rikku glided over to her in a trance. She reached a hand on Paine's arm as if feeling weak and needing the support. Cid had finally noticed Paine standing there. He said nothing though. Rikku was the only one to speak. "I wasn't that young." She shook her head at him and then looked at Paine. "Please just…"

Paine nodded. "Where do you want to go—"

"No." Rikku shook her head. "Just… Just leave me alone now." She took her hand off of Paine left the room for the stairs. Paine watched her leave her worry written all over her face.

_Flashback _

_A young Rikku rubbed her eyes and then squinted. "Momma?" She mumbled at the figure in the doorway that she knew to be her mother._

"_My jewel." She breathed. _

_Rikku sat up. "Momma what's wrong?"_

_##_

"_What's wrong with her?" One of them whispered._

"_She's just weird." Came from elsewhere in the room._

"_Are you sure she's not just a retard or something? I mean she doesn't talk."_

"_Are you sure she's even a she?"_

_They laughed._

_Paine curled herself up under her thin cover. This was the worst one yet. The owners of this "compound", because that's what it was, the foster parents in charge were just accepting kids left and right to accept the checks. They had been trying to place her for a year now after he was fired and honestly she'd rather have some old guy tell her that she had a nice watch rather than be here, with the noise and the rats and the cruel. This was the worst one yet. Little Paine flinched when the sound of footsteps shushed the room._

_##_

_She heard footsteps before her mother whispered to her that she loved her. It was the last thing she remembered hearing before passing out and waking up to the news. _

_Tahla Capri Bayla looked down at her small daughter and cracked a small smile behind her silent tears. "Rikku Milan, you always fall asleep before I get to finish."_

"_Tahla." _

_She looked up from the girl in her arms and narrowed her eyes at the man at the door. She held Rikku closer instinctively. She loved him, but he had lost his mind with arrogance, and she wasn't doing this right now when she had just convinced Rikku she was okay and gotten her to fall asleep. _

"_Is she asleep?"_

"_Yes, and I would appreciate it if she didn't have to see me like this again Cid." She looked back at the girl and moved to carefully put her back to bed. She was getting heavier. Which was good, she had been worried. Rikku began to fuss. Tahla leaned down and whispered reassurances to her before kissing her on the forehead. She stood and fixed her eyes on the man in the doorway. _

"_Don't stand there and look like you want to say something nice to me." She spat as she pushed past him. _

_Cid glanced at his daughter before closing the door. _

_Curious as to why everyone was in Rikku's room and not his too Kirill peeked his head out his door._

_##_

"_What's all this noise!"_

"_Paine momma! She was making noise again!"_

_Paine closed her eyes tightly when she felt the collar of her shirt being tugged up. She pushed the old woman's grubby palm oil smelling hands off of her as she was brought to stand. _

"_For someone who doesn't say shit you sure do make a bunch of fucking noise. C'mon!" Paine began to cry knowing exactly what was coming. "I didn't even give you something to cry for yet!"_

_The door slammed closed._

_##_

_The door slammed closed._

_Cid was fuming when he heard a car start somewhere off in the distance._

"_Papa."_

_He turned and saw a scared looking Kirill in his blitzball pajamas. He was crying._

_##_

_She was crying. _

_As she sat on the kitchen stool and heard the lies._

"_Yes, She just keeps fighting with the little ones! Some lady you've sent me! Mhm… Bruises all over, yes. She's got a real anger problem this one."_

_Paine hung her head wondering what she had done wrong again. Her pale skin was blotchy and when the doctors came and asked what had happened she mumbled what she was supposed to. _

"_It was my fault, sir"_

_##_

_He sat up with Kirill asleep in his arms while the morning birds brought their song. _

_Her song_

_How she would whistle while making their breakfasts. How she smiled when he walked into the room with both children hanging off of him begging for piggy back rides._

_He would make this right._

_He had to._

_Cid hugged Kirill closer and watched the door._

_##_

_It was early when the doctors left and she was allowed to rest. Paine kept her head hanging as she crawled back under her covers and closed her eyes. She missed Gippal, and the nice bath lady, and her piano, she was just getting better when they started moving her, getting better was all she wanted. When she played no one called her names or wanted to hit her._

"_Hey retard." Someone whispered._

"_I think she's ignoring us."_

"_Better her than us."_

"_Yeah, better the retard than us—"_

_Paine exhaled heavily, something in her small body not being able to take it anymore. _

"_What?" Someone was standing in front of her cot now, she could feel them there. "What? You mad gimpy? Well this is how it works when you're new here. Stop being such a pussy and deal with it. It's obvious no one wanted you. You're so dumb and ugly. Feel sorry for whoever your momma was, oh wait, no I don't cause she did the right thing and got rid of yo—"_

_Paine had snapped._

_When she came to, she was on top of the little boy with one hand around his neck and the other punching wildly as all the other kids tried to pull her off of him. She pushed them off and continued until she was lifted off the ground by a pair of strong hands. The ones that had just hours before hit her until she promised not to make noise anymore._

_##_

_She watched as her cousin began to cry._

"_Did you hear me Milan?"_

_Rikku looked up at her father. He looked so old right now, she could understand why though. Brother said he was up all night._

_Rikku nodded and played with the ring on her right hand. "I understand." She said quietly._

_Cid watched as his son and niece cried. They had always been the more composed out of the three, and there Rikku sat, in her yellow dress she liked to wear, not saying a word. _

_Cid kneeled down and took her small hands in his bigger ones. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."_

_Rikku watched in confusion as her father began to cry softly._

_Accidents, she had learned a little while ago, was something no one could predict or control._

_Momma was never coming back, she was real sad about that… But it was an accident. _

_So why was he crying like this?_

"_its okay Pops…" Rikku patted his head. "It was an accident."_

_But that only made it worse_

_##_

"_Help me with this." Was the first thing she said to the little blonde boy upon returning the next morning._

_A young Gippal Trent looked confused. "You've always been better at arts and crafts den me Dr. P." He examined his friend closely. He had been sad for the time that she had been gone; no one wanted to play with the crazy lady's kid. Paine had always been different though, she was his best friend and now looking at her he identified with being grateful she was home, but worried. She didn't seem herself. _

_Paine shook her head and pushed the child proof scissors into his small tan hand. "My hair Gip." She motioned to the dark ponytail that had followed her around for years now. "I don't like it."_

"_How come?"_

"_Does it matter?"_

_Gippal shrugged. "No" because nothing really mattered these days. "I don't know if I can do girls hair…"_

"_It isn't different."_

_He became nervous "I might mess up." Gippal had heard about what Paine had done, everyone had. Even now he could see the guardian nurses whispering amongst themselves as they watched them interact._

"_Forget it then." Paine snapped and grabbed the safety scissors from his hands. Gippal watched her march off somewhere, and for a few minutes he sat back down and began playing restaurant again by himself. _

_That didn't last long though._

_He pushed open the girls bathroom door and frowned when he heard her crying. _

_Paine felt someone knock her hands out the way lightly. Gippal had managed to climb up onto the stool in front of the mirror with her._

"_Lean forward Doc." He mumbled as he hacked at the large pony tail till it fell to the ground. "And stop cryin' will ya?"_

_Paine just nodded and fell quiet as he worked._

_End flashback_

"I loved her mother very much."

Paine looked back at Cid and shook her head before leaving the room for the front door. She paused on the front porch when she found Kirill sitting on the porch step cupping his hands together in thought. He glanced at Paine as walked by.

"If you hurt her… I _will_ end you."

Paine turned and looked at the serious on his face. She nodded and then was about to leave when she thought of the right thing to say. "Rikku's in the attic and she doesn't want to see me but…"

Kirill nodded and then stood. "Paine." He called when she turned to leave again.

Paine grew confused and slightly uncomfortable when he walked over to her and put his arms around her. "Thank you. Thank you so much." He whispered.

Paine nodded slowly "She told you today."

Kirill moved realizing that he was making her uncomfortable. "You have my respect and approval. Don't know what that means but I just thought that you should know."

##

Paine smiled to herself when she found Rikku the next day at school.

At least she came today.

Rikku was seated on one of the wooden tables near the center of campus. There was a larger fountain that she was just staring at with her books opened up in front of her like she was trying to study in between classes. Paine nodded to herself and quickly walked off for the student union.

"Why the long face?"

Rikku looked up. "Hey Buddy."

"May I sit?" He motioned to the seat across from her.

Rikku shrugged. "I guess."

"So what's wrong? Shoe sale close early or something?" He joked.

Rikku shook her head no. "I'm just having an off day."

His face grew concerned. "Are still on for Saturday?"

Rikku nodded. She was so out of it today. She was dressed lazily in jeans and Paine's hoody. Her hair was even in a full pony tail. She had spent the night talking with her brother in their mother's attic. He would be leaving Luca soon, and that made her sad too. Buddy nodded watching the usually bubbly woman carefully.

"Is there something I could do?"

"Huh? Oh no no, oh wait, I did want to talk to you about something though."

Buddy nodded and leaned forward to hear her better. "What's up?"

"I have a girlfriend." Her mood wouldn't allow for any beating around the bush here.

Buddy just stared at her in shock. "Was it something I said?"

"What?"

"I mean I know a lot of girls say that so guys will leave them alone…."

"I'm not one of those girls…"

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure of what?"

"That you have a girlfriend."

Though slightly annoyed, Rikku actually chuckled a little. "I'm sure, we've been together for almost two months."

Buddy looked relieved. "So it's not serious then." He nodded.

"I don't think you understand."

"Course I do, this is college y'know? That's cool."

"I don't like you."

Buddy grinned and stood with his things. "Yeah you do."

Rikku furrowed her brows as he began to walk backwards from where she was sitting with a confident smile on his face. "I don't Budd—"

"See you later Rikku—"

A loud splash was heard and then unmistakable groan. Buddy turned around slowly to see that he had walked right into someone and they were now covered in a pink smoothie with little chunks of berries in it.

Paine growled. "This was my last five bucks you fucking idiot!"

"Whoa, I didn't do anything; you were the one who walked into me." Buddy tried to defend. He still didn't recognize the person under all the pink goop.

"Paine!" Rikku got up when she heard her voice. "Oh my…" She hid her chuckle when she caught sight of Paine's appearance.

Paine glanced at Rikku and all her anger was gone all of a sudden. "I got you a smoothie…." She tried.

Rikku's face softened considerably and she sent Paine an adoring look. "You got this for me?"

Paine shrugged almost shyly. "You were looking pretty down over here when I passed by so…"

##

Rikku wet the paper towel on both sides. "Here."

Paine looked up from the bathroom sink where she was washing her face and her hair. She let Rikku wipe some missed spots off her face and then on her now completely wet raven hair. Rikku smiled at Paine's hair, seeing it this way reminded her of when she was living with her for that week after Auron.

"What?" Paine asked noticing a certain look on Rikku's face.

"Nothing, Pai."

Paine nodded and then sighed when she looked at her clothes. "I don't have any clothes here."

"You're work polo?"

"Laundry day."

"Well do you have any more classes?"

Paine nodded. "One more."

Rikku tossed the wet paper towel and pulled off Paine's hoody revealing her wearing a black spaghetti strapped tank top.

Paine averted her eyes from Rikku's chest. "I kinda like you wearing that…"

"I'm done for the day, and it's yours anyway." Rikku pushed the dark blue hoody toward her until Paine took it and pulled it on. She smiled a little. It smelt like Rikku. Her smile disappeared though as she watched Rikku check the bags under her eyes in the bathroom mirrors. "How you doing, Princess?"

Rikku looked over at her and shrugged lightly. "I'm just… I'm just sad Paine. I'm not mad at Pops, he could have never known I know, but if he would just cool it for five seconds, and not be a jerkface. my mother might still be alive…I know I wouldn't be so lost if she were still around. I miss her and…" She looked down at her hands and then up at Paine again. "I'm just sad."

Paine nodded and stepped closer. "I know baby." She whispered as she hugged Rikku.

"Brother, he's leaving soon too, and I'm gonna miss him too."

"When does he leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"Are you going to see him off?"

"Yunie and I are driving him to the port. He could go with his team but he wanted to spend time with us."

Paine nodded and adjusted her arms around her lower back causing her cold damp shirt under her hoody to move, she chuckled a little and Rikku smiled. "What?"

"That Teddy Berry is really cold."

Rikku squealed and hugged Paine tightly. "You bought me one! You ordered it and everything! How? I wanna know."

Paine laughed. "I just grunted and pointed to it on the menu."

Rikku laughed. "I believe that."

"Good, cause it's what happened."

Rikku laughed lightly but settled when their eyes locked. "Thank you for understanding last night."

"Of course."

Rikku felt a small smile tug on her lips just looking at Paine made everything else just seem so small. She swayed them lightly. "Paine."

"Yeah?"

"Dance with me tonight."

"What's tonight?"

Rikku shrugged. "Let's go out."

"Are you sure you want to do that? I mean I have to go to therapy tomorrow morning." Rikku swayed them more and Paine laughed. "I don't dance Bayla."

"Oh I bet you could."

"Never said I couldn't, I just don't."

Rikku began humming and moving them with more purpose. "You wanna lead, or me?"

Paine shook her head. "In the woman's bathroom on campus? Really?" It was a good thing no one ever came into this one. They were in the engineering building after all.

Rikku hummed and rocked her body from side to side goofily making Paine laugh even more. Rikku shook her head at herself and leaned her head on Paine's shoulder. "I don't want to feel like this anymore."

Paine looked down at her. "Sad?"

Rikku just nodded.

They just stood there for a moment before Paine began to hum quietly. She couldn't believe that she was doing this but fuck it right? Her girl was sad and she just made her job super easy by telling her what she wanted. Rikku's smile couldn't get any wider as she felt Paine sway a little.

"If you tell anyone about this I'll hurt you." She warned.

Rikku only giggled and held her closer.

##

"How are you doing?" Yuna asked as she hugged her cousin tightly.

"I'm okay Yunie."

Yuna nodded. "Good. How is Uncle Cid?"

Rikku shrugged. "I haven't seen him… I mean I hear him in the mornings but not after Kirill….He can't even look at me."

"It hurts him to."

Rikku nodded. "Sometimes I wish I didn't look like her, maybe he'd notice me for me…"

Yuna nodded she wrapped an arm around her cousins shoulder and led her into the living room where Kimahri was stretched out on the ground lazily. He lifted his head at Rikku's entrance and got up to get usual pets.

"Hey Kim km." Rikku greeted rubbing behind his pointy ears.

Rikku came over for breakfast Saturday morning before going to get Brother and dropping him at the port. She checked the time on the wall and wondered if Paine had even gotten up for therapy or not. She shook her head lightly and grabbed one of Kimahri's chewed up toys. "Did she get up Kim kim?" Rikku asked playfully as the large dog almost jumped on her for the toy. "Huh? Did Paine get up on time?" Kimahri barked excitedly at the mention of Paine's name. It was something she had noticed a little while ago and it was hilarious to her. "Where is she? Where is she?" Kimahri barked two more times and he jumped toward the door and then ran back when he realized Rikku wasn't following him. "Crazy Pup." Rikku smiled.

"Please don't get him all riled up; we just came back from a walk."

Rikku jumped out of her seat suddenly. "Let's go find Paine!" Kimahri barked and took off out of the living room. Yuna laughed as Rikku ran after him for a few feet before stopping with a little laugh as she turned. "He really likes her."

"I don't know either." Yuna patted the couch beside her. "Sit with me a minute, talk to me."

Rikku sighed good-naturedly. Yuna had brought fruit into the den and had set the tray down on the coffee table. She picked up a strawberry and plopped down beside Yuna and sighed again. "I don't know Yunie. Everything's happening so fast and…" She shrugged. "You know Pops is giving us each his section of the business to sell to Uncle B or to run?"

"Father told me as much."

"What should I do! What is Pop's going to do?"

"You don't want to be a lawyer. I know you don't want to be."

"I know."

"So now you just have to figure out what to do next."

"You make it sound so easy."

Yuna smiled at her cousin. "Rikku you have so many passions it doesn't make sense."

Rikku laughed. "Alright Doctor Yuna, what about this thing with Pops? I feel like I should say something to him, but between the whole Leblanc sexcapade—"

Yuna made a face. "Why would you call it that?"

"There are no other words that could describe…" Rikku shivered. "I actually threw up Yunie!" Yuna laughed. "In Paine's gym bag, gosh I felt so bad; she couldn't look at me for the whole car ride home."

"Aw."

Rikku shook her head. "I'm such a mess." She put her hands to her face and sighed. "Then Brother is upset, I mean, he has a right o be but I mean when will it end with those two?"

"He has obviously been holding this inside since he left. Maybe it was good that they fought."

"Maybe."

##

"I've become more… Affectionate?" Paine rubbed the back of her neck and then brought her hand back to her knee. "It's only because I know she likes it…"

"Do you think so?" Martha asked.

Paine nodded. "I mean why else would I do it?"

"Maybe it started out that way; however now you say you find yourself being that way toward other people. Even when she isn't around, that's quite the behavior shift." Paine didn't say anything. "How do you feel when you act this way?"

"It's really weird… Like with Rikku, it's okay, it's fine, it feels natural to want to… Show her how I feel; it's a hell of a lot easier than talking about it. But with everyone else, it's like… They don't expect it from me, and it gets awkward."

"Do they seem please?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know."

"Are you happy?"

Paine hesitated. "How does that feel?"

Martha nodded to herself and adjusted her posture. "It's state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."

Paine thought about it for a moment. "Sometimes I'm happy…"

"When? When you are with Rikku?"

Paine nodded. "It sounds so lame…"

"No it doesn't. It sounds to me like you have really turned things around from when we last spoke years ago."

"I mean I'd be happy if I could work out… When my minds not busy with Rikku, or with school or work. I'm all..." Paine made a tense hand gesture.

"Have you had any withdrawal symptoms lately?"

"This morning, I couldn't keep anything down, but that was it."

Martha began to scribble a few things down. "And before that?"

"Wednesday night."

"Do you feel as though they are happening more often now?"

"Yeah definitely."

"Have you been having sleeping problems?" Paine shrugged. "Forgetfulness?"

She actually chuckled. "Rikku thinks I'd forget my head if it weren't on my shoulders, which is weird because I'm usually not very forgetful."

Martha nodded. "You wouldn't be here seeing me if you were the forgetful type." Martha wrote something down.

##

"Take care of this one for me?" Kirill smiled at Yuna and motioned to Rikku.

"Take care yourself." Yuna smiled back.

Rikku rolled her eyes with a little smile. "Alright alright enough."

Yuna chuckled and shook her head. Kirill had someone come and take his bags before stepping over to Rikku and hugging her tightly.

"E secc oui ymnayto" Rikku whispered into his arms.

"E'mm pa pylg pavuna oui ghuf ed."

Rikku nodded knowing he would be back as soon as he could. They had talked for hours Thursday night. "Will you back for…?"

Kirill nodded quickly. "Of course."

"Okay." Rikku pulled her arms from around him and adjusted her shirt sadly. He had been her first best friend and her first hero. There was a time when she wanted nothing more to be like her big brother.

"Ay c'mon none of that. You gonna watch me play tomorrow afternoon?" Kirill playfully nudged Rikku.

Rikku laughed. "Someone has to yell at the TV for you to get your act together."

Kirill laughed too. He hiked his carry on onto his shoulder and stole a glance at Yuna.

"Cousins!" Rikku put her hands to her face.

"Shut up." Kirill laughed.

"Huh?" Yuna looked over to the two completely oblivious.

"Nothing." Kirill shook his head making sure he was thinking straight. "I'll see you ladies later hm? Behave." They all said their last goodbyes and Kirill turned to board the airship.

"Turin!"

Kirill stopped at the almost foreign sound of his middle name. Everyone just assumed his middle name was Brother. Only family members called him Turin, and even then that was rare.

Rikku turned around quickly and smiled. There was the man she was prouc to call her father.

Cid took a few more steps toward his son who still hadn't turned around. "Kirill Turin Bayla."

Kirill turned around and the two men stared each other down. Cid walked right up to him and put a hand on his shoulder without Brother pushing him off or getting upset. "You're right my son, you are so right, I needed that more than you can know." Cid paused a second before lowering his voice for only Kirill to hear.

Rikku and Yuna watched and Kirill dropped his head. Cid moved his hand to the side of his face as he continued to tell him something. Kirill shook his head and then nodded. He looked up and they could seem moisture in his eyes. Kirill nodded again and then they embraced in a very tight hug. "Okay? She would be so proud of you, so so proud."

"Pop." Kirill nodded trying to gain his composure as they hugged.

Rikku smiled and walked right over to them and tried her best to wrap her arms around the two larger men. Cid laughed and held his two children close. He never thought he would be doing this ever and the feeling of having his family so close made everything he had done and had to do worth it. They were his life, and losing sight of that was probably the largest mistake in his life. He paused a second and picked his head up and extended his arm out to Yuna. "I've changed your diaper one too many times for you not to be on this my dear." Yuna laughed and went to hug her family. Cid kissed the top of Yuna's head when she joined the hug and tried his best to savor every second of this because if there was anything he knew, it was that tomorrow was never guaranteed. "I love you all."

"Ah c'mon Pops, you're gonna make Brother cry even more in front of his teammates." Rikku teased.

"I'm not crying! There was just something in my eyes…"

##

"What does it stand for?"

"Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome."

Rikku shook her head lightly. "Doesn't sound very acute, at least in your case."

"I don't feel that way either."

"Are you okay?" Rikku reached a hand over to rub Paine's arm.

Paine shrugged. "Yeah, listen I'm gonna go…" She stood from Rikku's bed and went to get her leather jacket. "I got to study and stuff…"

Rikku watched her for a moment before nodding. "Alright." She knew today's session hadn't went to well for Paine, and it made her feel bad that she couldn't do anything. It made her feel even worse that she was in such a good mood. Sometimes she just needed her space though, that was something Rikku could fully understand. She walked her downstairs and to the door. "Are we still cooking tomorrow?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you later… Or you call me when you are going to bed."

Rikku smiled. "I will." She tip toed half way and kissed Paine on the lips then wrapped her arms around her neck.

Paine let up a rare smile for the day and leaned back in to kiss her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Rikku nodded, she let a hand come to Paine's cheek. "Don't be all sad tonight okay? This is a really good thing."

"I know." It was good because it meant she was healing very quickly on the physiological level. It didn't stop her from feeling sick though, and she never mentioned the second half of the session to Rikku either. That was just something she didn't want to talk about.

Rikku let her go and waved as she said goodbye. She frowned and turned to go back up the stairs.

Silent frame after silent frame was snapped as Paine ran a hand through her hair and looking up at the moonlit sky almost longingly before getting into her car and resting her head on the steering wheel for two seconds, her shoulders shaking slightly, but nothing coming out. She felt like this was never ending. There had to be an end somewhere.

Somewhere...

**AN: Quick update! Once I started writing I literally could do nothing else. I'm kinda proud of this chapter, I sincerely hope everyone likes it. I'd love to know what you all think so drop me a review!**

**KathleenDee **


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

"Kerrigan?"

They both stood.

Paine turned to Rikku but stopped with what she was about to say when Rikku stepped ahead of her. "C'mon." She whispered as she passed her.

Paine nodded to herself and followed her girlfriend of two and a half months and the nurse back into the cramped maze of doctor's examination rooms.

They were especially tiny, these rooms, and after being poked at for her vital stats the nurse left Paine with promises that someone would see her soon.

Rikku was sitting in the small chair in the corner of the examination room with her jeaned legs crossed and her deep orange scarf taken off and resting on her lap right above the magazine she had "borrowed" from the waiting room. Paine watched her for a few moments before looking around the room.

Red hazard garbage… Sink... Picture of the brain… More pictures of the brain….

"How come you don't have to put on one of those dress thingys?" Paine brought her attention back to Rikku. "Y'know, one size fits all…"

"Think they'd give me a special hat or something since I'm at a neurologist?"

Rikku chuckled. "Well something… You think they will shave your head?"

"I hope not, it's getting cold."

The two fell quiet again.

Paine sighed to herself thinking about the last couple weeks. Rikku watched her without her really noticing. "Don't be nervous Paine." She spoke up.

Paine shrugged. "I know I shouldn't be… But, what if they find something seriously wrong with me, Ri? Shit, for the cost of this co-pay they better find something wrong with me…"

Rikku closed her magazine. "I Googled some stuff…"

Paine seemed a little surprised. "On PAWS?"

"Yeah."

Paine took her time with asking the next question. "What did you find?"

"That it's really hard to go through alone… That it may seem never ending, but with support and possibly medi—"

Paine shook her head. "I didn't get off one drug to get hooked on another."

"Sometimes the—"

"Sometimes is for normal people Rikku, ratios and things like that don't count with me. I'm more susceptible to everything. I'm an addict remember?"

Rikku just stared at her for a brief moment before standing and resting her scarf and magazine down on the chair where she was just sitting. Paine didn't look at her as she walked the two steps to the examination bed she was sitting on.

Rikku placed her hands on Paine's knees. "You've been clean for almost two years; I think you deserve another title now."

Paine looked down then back at Rikku. "So why does it still feel like day one?"

Rikku rubbed her legs lightly. "That's what we're here to find out, Pypo."

Paine let out another sigh. Telling Rikku the extent of what was going on was hard, going to therapy, even harder, and now she was having to deal with all of this all at once. The added stress of that, plus a thousand other things she had been thinking about had triggered a pretty bad withdrawal episode a few days ago. Gippal had stayed up with her all night even though he had worked another 16 hour shift that day, and Nooj got her to drink some wheat barely shake, which surprisingly made her feel a little better, even though it tasted like Wakka's gym socks.

"Okay?" Rikku asked.

Paine nodded and just then the door opened revealing a man with khaki slacks, a white shirt and tie with music notes on it. The white coat he was shimmying into made Paine take him just an ounce more seriously. Rikku backed up from Paine.

"Ladies, which one of you is Paine?" He asked with a small smile.

"Me."

The doctor nodded and reached to shake her hand. "Alrighty then, nice to meet you, my name is Morris Vice, but you can just call me Dr. Vice."

Well if that wasn't ironic Paine didn't know what was.

"Nice to meet you." Paine shook his hand.

"And you?" Dr. Vice asked putting his hand out to Rikku.

"Rikku Bayla." She smiled that charming Bayla smile and then motioned to Paine. "Girlfriend."

Dr. Vice smiled and chuckled a little as he went to get Paine's chart. "Good, so Paine you'll be on your best behavior then? People usually are when their other halves are in the room."

"Oh she will be," Rikku reassured while going to take a seat back in the small corner.

Dr. Vice flipped a page over on the chart in his hands and nodded. "Good good." He checked off a few things and then looked up at Paine. "Alright Paine, you can relax I'm just going to ask you a few questions about this."

Paine nodded. "Alright."

"So, I won't be able to tell you much till we get some tests back, however just by reading this I can see some strong evidence that what you are dealing with is severe withdrawal from…?"

Paine glanced at Rikku. "A lot."

"What would you say you used more of?"

Paine shrugged. "Oxy…"

Dr. Vice nodded and wrote something down. "Now when these episodes happen, describe to me what you are feeling." Dr. Vice continued to ask question after question, just when Paine thought he was done he'd ask another. He checked her pupils which he noted were dilated, and then asked a few more questions.

Dr. Vice sighed. "You had surgery right? Lost a lot of blood it says here…" He was sitting in his doctor's stool leaning Paine's file on the counter and writing.

Paine nodded. "Damaged left kidney and ureter. They put a stent in."

Dr. Vice nodded. "It says here that you're back on a regular diet, coffee too?"

Paine nodded. "As of about a week ago."

"Eating normally, hungry when you're supposed to be?"

Paine nodded and Rikku cleared her throat. "Um…" Paine turned to look at her and then motioned for that it was okay to say something. Dr. Vice turned to look at Rikku. "Not really, Pai." Rikku shook her head and then looked to the doctor. "She eats a lot sometimes, and then sometimes doesn't eat at all."

Dr. Vice nodded. "I guess this is where I start asking you questions huh?" He noted something down and then looked back up at Rikku. "Sleeping patterns?"

"She sleeps like the dead." Rikku informed with a small chuckle. "Not a sound at all."

"I wish I slept like that." Dr. Vice laughed as he wrote something else down. "My wife, she kicks though. I think she's trying to tell me something."

"Yeah that's this one." Paine shook her head but smiled lightly at Rikku.

"How does Paine handle stress? Does she pace? Or get upset? Or what?"

Rikku thought about it for a second. "It depends on what it is, who she's around…" Dr. Vice nodded for her to continue. "She get's closed off, like it's hard to speak to her when she's very stressed out." Rikku glanced at Paine. "Sometimes she picks fights… I guess to keep her mind off it."

Paine frowned in shame.

"De-stressing?"

"Well I just leave her be till she lets me talk her down. She um… When we aren't together she's told me that she hits things, like hard surfaces?" Dr. Vice nodded. "She used to work out a lot, like every day, but since the surgery…" Dr. Vice made a few more notes.

"Sex drive?"

Rikku blushed heavily and glanced at Paine who was looking away. "Uhm…"

Dr. Vice chuckled and turned to Paine. "Sex drive?"

Paine nodded quickly trying to avoid Rikku's gaze. "Yeah it's there…"

The doctor smiled at the two as he stood. "Alright Paine, I will be right back, you'll take a few tests and then you'll be on your way. Does that sound good?" Paine agreed and waited to shake his hand before he left.

The office was quiet for a few seconds. "Is it?" Rikku grinned. Her smile fell when she noticed the look on Paine's face. "Pypo?"

"I sound like the worst girlfriend ever…"

"Well he didn't exactly ask me what you do for me so…"

Paine looked away.

Rikku stood again. "You're my rock baby, and I'm yours… Or at least I'm trying to be. I know it's hard; him asking all these questions. He's just asking to see what happens when you stress out so he could help. He seems like a nice guy y'know. I don't think he's trying to make you look bad."

Paine nodded slowly but then it quickened when Rikku's words really sunk in. "I'm glad you came in here with me."She concluded.

"You thought I would say no when you asked me?"

Paine shook her head. "No, I mean here, as in, in here." Paine motioned to the small room. "I uh… it made me feel less nervous."

Rikku smiled and put her arm around Paine's shoulders. "Well I gotta make sure they don't rough you up y'know." Paine laughed and sent Rikku an amused look.

##

There were a lot of things Paine was excited to experience with Rikku.

But this was one she was trying to avoid at all costs.

But the time had finally come.

And she was not happy about it.

"In, out, in out, in out." Paine continued to coach as she tried to find a parking space outside of Home Goods later that same day. It was the weekend, and the sky was bright yet the air a bit windy and cold. October was a week away and it seemed the weather was getting an early start.

"If you're trying to turn me on it's not working." Rikku deadpanned

Paine glanced at Rikku from behind her sunglasses. "I'm not joking Bayla, in… and then out." She had heard horror stories about this place.

"Ah shut up already!" Rikku threw her hands in the air and then gave Paine a pointed look from behind her own sunglasses. "We'll leave when I'm good and ready."

"I'll leave when I'm good and ready." Paine grumbled as she pulled into a parking space a little ways away from the entrance.

"What?"

"I said, I will leave whenever the fuck I want to!"

Rikku gathered her large almond colored designer purse and her water bottle. She picked up Paine's water as well and put it in her bag. "Do you want me to leave you in the car again?"

Paine unbuckled her seatbelt. "I'm not a child."

"You're acting like one."

"That's because we should have done this like days ago, I'm pissed."

"You act as though I'm making you do something difficult." Rikku got out of the car and tightened the scarf around her neck more. "I was busy, and you would have acted the same way if we went days ago."

"No I wouldn't" Paine lied, she probably would have. She closed her car door and locked it and quickly began to walk off.

"Get your jacket!" Rikku pointed to the car as she watched Paine rub her hands together. She was only wearing a thin long sleeve shirt and jeans.

"No!"

"Fine then, freeze. But don't expect me to walk any faster. I'm quite warm."

Paine shrugged. "It's not even that cold out, it's just windy…" A few minutes passed and Paine found herself looking in the backseat of her car for her hoody.

By the time they got out of the large parking lot her tactic had changed. "Baby I just don't want to spend all day in here looking for one thing…"

"What if you see something you like?" Rikku had her arm looped in Paine's as they walked into the building with sliding doors.

"I'm broke."

"What if I see something I like?"

"That's the problem, you have expensive taste, we don't need to get them a cappuccino maker or anything—"

"Yunie already got them one."

Paine only sighed. "See? So their good on that front, let's just get them a toaster…"

"This is why I didn't trust you to go and get something from the both of us by yourself. You can't get them a toaster!" Rikku felt Paine's grip around her arm tighten a little as she began to stray at the shoe section of the mega store. She rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"Wakka loves toast."

"Lulu hates toast; she says it's too messy."

"Well fuck then." Paine gave up. Lulu and Wakka were having an apartment warming party, and everyone decided without them knowing that they were going to buy them something nice for their first new place. The party was tonight though, Paine hated doing things last minute.

"I think we should get them something for the baby."

Paine shook her head and made sure that as they passed the designer hand bag section Rikku didn't get distracted. "No let's not do that."

Rikku eyed the red bag hanging off the manikin's shoulders as they passed. "Why not?"

"Well we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl, and usually at this point in the pregnancy anything could happen, we wouldn't want to get them something that would just make them sad…"

Rikku turned to look at Paine. "For a second there I forgot you were somewhere in the medical field."

"Yeah we had to take a bunch of nonsense classes like that." They stepped onto an escalader and Paine chuckled when Rikku held onto her long scarf so it wouldn't get caught on the moving staircase.

"That's not useless." Rikku nodded to herself. "Okay, no baby st—"

Paine watched as her girlfriends eyes glazed over a little. She turned around and saw the clothing section disappearing below them. Paine sighed with relief; she knew there would be no way to stop Rikku apart from dragging her out of that area by her hair. "Right." Paine caught Rikku's attention again. "No baby stuff."

They finally made it to the Home Goods level of Home Goods. Paine shook her head at how ridiculous this place was. They had just about everything you could dream to have in your house, outside your house, at your friend's house, for your dog house, they even had frickin' bird houses... And to top it all off, it was connected to the Luca West Mills Mall. She prayed that Rikku wouldn't remember that as they were leaving…

Paine paused and looked around.

Where did Rikku just go!

Rikku began to pull a cart out from the dispenser when she felt someone push it back in. She turned and found Paine shaking her head. "What are you doing? We need a cart."

"We don't need a cart for one thing, Rikku."

"What if it's a big thing?" Rikku fluttered her lashes at Paine.

"We agreed that it's not going to be a big thing, Rikku." Paine pushed the cart all the way back in as she tried her best to ignore the cute look Rikku was giving her.

You see the thing about Princesses was that they hardly, if ever, heard the word no. Paine knew she had to stay strong in her stance, especially when Rikku tried to use her adorableness as a weapon.

"You're a bully you know that?" Rikku asked in disbelief. "Never met a model who didn't like to shop…"

Paine sighed heavily. "I didn't say yes yet." She felt Rikku loop her arm in hers again as they began to walk down the large passage way into the bed and bath section.

"You will though."

"How are you so sure? I'm really busy this semester."

"You were really busy last semester too."

"Yeah, but I was also trying to impress you."

"So what, now that you have me you're not going to try as hard?" Paine shrugged with a little smile on her face. It made Rikku laugh. "The truth comes out!"

"Yuna even told me that this one would be a lot more work than the last… What do you think about this?" Paine asked pausing in front of sets of fluffy towels.

"No."

They continued walking.

"All the more reason to get up and do it. I know you like a challenge." Rikku continued campaigning. Yuna had basically pulled her aside and told her that if she loved her she would make this happen. She had saved Paine's measurements from the last show and was using that as her baseline now. Rikku was a little worried though, Paine wasn't lying, she was rather busy this semester. She knew at some point she would have to just draw the line and give up if it were crossed, she loved her cousin, but when Yuna got into design mode she was a whole other person animal—shewolf thing.

"She's probably going to make me be half naked again..." Paine sighed.

"I don't know why you even care, you have an amazing body." Rikku looked away almost shyly as she said it.

"Yeah, but I have a scar now…" If it were anyone else she would have said nothing, but this was Rikku. She felt like she could be honest about her insecurities. "And I've gained a little…"

Rikku shushed her. "You're perfect, and plus Lulu could just—"

"AND I have to work with super bitch." She just remembered.

"Paine!"

"No no it's okay, I can call her that now; she's pregnant."

"No you can't." Rikku shook her head. "I don't see what your problem is with her, she and Wakka are working things out. "

Paine shrugged. "I don't like her face."

"Lulu is pretty!"

"So you date her then."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Oh boy."

"She's weird too."

"You're weird."

"She wears too much black…"

"Seriously Paine?"

Paine shrugged. "I just don't like her."

"You're so full of it, y'know you guys have a lot more in common than you think."

"She's old."

"She's only two years older than you." Rikku let go of Paine's arm and went to look at some comforters. "You better be nice to her tonight."

Paine walked over. "I'm not a monster, that kid's half Wakka right? So that means that Lulu will have… What? A tiny heart in her for a little while?"

Rikku laughed. "Stop it."

Paine smiled at her ability to make Rikku laugh. "Nah, I'll be fine tonight, it should be fun."

Rikku moved the comforter around a little looking at the price, she nodded her head. "Are we drinking tonight?"

Paine shrugged. "Am I driving?"

"I don't care."

"I'll probably have one drink when we first get there. Wakka said he offered to give it up with Lulu but he said she hardly drinks so it wasn't a big sacrifice to her, just as long as she doesn't have to look after him…" Paine thought about it. "I guess that's not too bitchy of her…"

"Bump that, if I have to suffer whoever's fault it is is suffering with me…"

Paine shook her head. "No coffee…"

Rikku chuckled glancing at Paine. "Oh God, again? You'd die, huh?"

Paine nodded but then stopped when she got what Rikku implied without even noticing. It made her feel funny, not bad funny, but not good funny either just… funny. Paine pushed it down and looked at the comforter over Rikku was scrutinizing.

"What do you think of this?" Rikku asked motioning to the green and violet floral spread she was looking at.

"Um… No."

Rikku frowned. "Why not? I like all the colors. It would look nice in my room no?"

"Your room? Rikku we're supposed to be getting something for Lulu and Wakka!"

"Alright alright, take it easy." Rikku chuckled and tapped Paine on the arm as she walked by. "C'mon!"

Paine sighed and turned to follow her.

This was going to be a long day.

##

Paine pulled another piece of tape off of the yellow tape dispenser on Rikku's desk.

"So their still going to want wedding gifts right?" She asked as she pulled the holiday ambiguous wrapping paper over the three speed juicer they decided on. Rikku had argued that it wasn't big, and it wasn't, it was about the size of a shoebox but they might as well have gotten the bigger one for the price. Paine was able to contribute, which she felt good about, but at the same time they really didn't need to get the chrome edition one when the white one was twenty bucks less.

Rikku chuckled from inside her bathroom. "We'll get them a toaster then if it makes you happy." She was curling her hair loosely with a curler. Just enough for a little bounce was how she explained it to Paine.

"All I'm saying is that it's a pretty solid racket, house warming party, gifts, baby shower, gifts, wedding, gifts…" Paine paused "What am I doing wrong here?" She mumbled to herself. She reached for another piece of tape.

"Oh c'mon, where is your giving spirit. It's the holidays."

"It's not even October yet, Rikku."

"Well it will be soon! Which reminds me, we have to get costumes for Tidus's party."

"I don't want to go." Paine mumbled hoping that Rikku wouldn't hear.

"What? Why not?" Rikku poked her head out of the bathroom and chuckled. Her girlfriend was brilliant when it came to just about everything she put her mind to, and yet… She couldn't wrap a present to save her life. Rikku turned off the curler in the bathroom and walked out in her skinny jeans and a satin white under camisole.

"It's not my scene…Meh." Paine shook her head as she continued to wrap but the paper kept falling off.

Rikku smiled softly at her struggling. "So tayn, muug… rana." Rikku pushed Paine's hands away gently and unwrapped the gift starting from the beginning. "Drah zicd bimm drec ceta ib yht mad ed ujanmyb uh drec uha... Pid drec ec dra puddus caa? Hu uha femm hudela ed." She hadn't even realized she had just done that all in Al bhed until she looked up at Paine who looked slightly confused. Usually Rikku spoke a little slower when talking to Paine in Al bhed.

Paine gave herself a second to translate and then nodded. "Yeah."

Rikku smiled. "Okay." She went about unwrapped it again.

"Hey!"

"Well you have to learn sometime!" Rikku reasoned as she balled up the creased paper.

Paine shook her head at her and picked up the roll to start over. "Is that what you're wearing?" She asked as she rolled out a nice sized piece of wrapping paper on Rikku's bed.

Rikku looked down at her outfit so far. "Yeah, almost." She glanced at Paine in her basketball shorts and simple white shirt.

Paine chuckled; reading her girlfriends look. "My clothes are in my car."

"Well when are you going to change?"

"I only need ten minutes, Ri."

Rikku glanced at the clock. It read six thirty in the evening. "Well, I think you should change now."

"Why? You're not even ready."

"I'm more ready than you."

"What shoes are you wearing?"

Rikku paused, and did her cute thinking face where she put her finger to her bottom lip and looked off. "I don't know…. "

Paine stood and went over to get more tape. "Uh huh, what did I say?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Well you obviously don't know everything." She motioned to Paine's third attempt at wrapping the box neatly.

Paine huffed. "Who the hell am I giving gifts to Rikku? If I ever got Gip something I just gave it to him. This is just a waste of paper."

Rikku chuckled as she turned on her heels to go back into the bathroom. "It is when you need thirteen bajillion tries."

"Just hurry up."

Rikku laughed.

##

As predicted Paine was ready before Rikku. She was lying on her back on Rikku's bed resting in her dark jeans and black boots with the heel, and a knit long sleeved v neck which allowed you to see the purple shirt she was wearing underneath. Even her makeup was done!

Paine was tired though.

She was pretty sure if Rikku didn't come out soon she would pass out. She had gotten up early this morning, felt sick, so she really didn't eat anything, went to the doctors with Rikku, spent an ungodly amount of time in Home Goods, had a small lunch, started wrapping the gift, changing, and now finally waiting on Rikku.

She was glad to be able to hang out with her roommates tonight though, she had been so busy with school and work, and when she wasn't she was with Rikku. Paine understood there had to be a balance with all this, people talked about it all the time. Finding it was just a lot harder than she had expected it to be.

Paine smiled softly when she felt a small amount of added weight on her right, sink the bed.

Rikku leaned down close to Paine's ear. "I'm ready to go now." She whispered.

Paine opened her eyes and found Rikku's swirly green ones almost immediately. "You look beautiful."

Rikku smiled and leaned down again to kiss Paine on the side of the face. "I know, but thanks for noticing." She watched as Paine began to get up. "You don't look so bad yourself, who you getting all fancy for?" Rikku placed her hand on Paine's cheek to rub off the small bit of lip gloss on her cheek.

Paine stood up fully and moved to get her things. "Well some of Lulu's model friends are going to be there right?" Rikku's face fell and Paine chuckled before leaning down and stealing a quick kiss. Rikku pulled her back in when she meant to pull away, and added a touch of heat to the kiss causing Paine to forget where they were even going when she was finally set free.

"That." Rikku said as she turned to get her purse that was sitting on the bed. "Is just so you remember." She smirked at the dazed look on Paine's face.

Paine shook her head lightly as she watched Rikku leave the room with an added sway of the hips.

Cid heard footsteps coming down the stairs as he readied to leave the house.

"…Yeah I think I forgot already, help me out, Rikks."

He could hear Rikku laughing and soon the couple was in front of him pulling their jackets off the hooks. "Going out?"

Rikku nodded. "To Lulu and Wakka's. What you have a date or something?"

Cid looked down to what he was wearing and shrugged. "Business dinner."

"What business? you gave it away."

Cid shrugged again. "It's a process, Milan."

"You have a date."

"I do not have a date."

"I know it isn't with Leblanc because she still looks miserable in class…"

"In class?"

Rikku froze. "Oh uh… Yeah, she's taken over a class of mine…"

"You didn't tell him?" Paine asked a little surprised.

"I forgot!"

"Which class, Milan?"

"Uhm, look Pop we're late so, I mean when I get back we can talk. C'mon Paine."

##

Paine banged the side of her fist lightly on the horn. "Fucking idiots…." She mumbled as a few people ran into the street right in front of her. She shook her head and then glanced at Rikku. They were almost to Lulu and Wakka's and the sky was a dark, it was getting darker way earlier in the day now. "How come you didn't tell Cid Leblanc was your teacher?" Paine asked pulling up to a light and waiting.

Rikku was sitting in the passenger seat of the car playing with the little digital pet on her keychain. "It honestly slipped my mind, I only now started going back to class."

Paine furrowed a brow. "You're been missing classes?"

"I couldn't look at her after what happened."

"Yeah but still I mean…" Getting the idea that maybe she should drop it Paine did. "Where would you go?"

"I went to the Art building; sometimes Buddy would come with me."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Buddy."

Rikku chuckled. "You say his name with such disdain."

"What, you want me and him to be best friends?"

"He's nice, kinda cocky, but I think he understand that I don't like him. He hasn't tried anything."

"Yeah well…" She didn't like him, she didn't like Rikku hanging out with him, and she most certainly didn't like him being a part of the reason why Rikku hasn't been in class lately. "He seriously better not get any ideas."

"Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of what Rikku? You're my girlfriend, he should be jealous of me." Paine pulled onto Lulu and Wakka's street.

"Wow wow, okay." She waited until Paine found parking before she pulled on Paine's shoulder for her to turn and look at her. "Believe me when I say you have nothing at all to worry about."

"It's not you I'm worried about. I don't trust him."

"You don't trust anyone."

"I trust you."

Rikku smiled lightly and leaned forward. She made a mental note to distance herself some more than she already had been with Buddy. He was in her class three times out of the week, still though, she wanted to ease Paine's mind. "I never wanna see that go away." Rikku whispered.

"Then don't fuck it up." Paine whispered back. Even though Rikku knew Paine was joking, she couldn't help but feel a genuine warning in her tone. As if Paine was really letting her know that she would be hurt beyond repair if Rikku were to do something to hurt her trust for her, and Rikku believed it. She believed that Paine still had trust issues, and for her to admit that she in fact trusted Rikku was huge. It had long since been known, but to hear it was another thing completely.

"Fuck..."

Rikku unbuckled her seatbelt. "What?"

"I forgot to grab the juicer on our way out."

Rikku's pleasant smile dropped. "You what?"

Paine was looking in the back seat of the car. "Yeah, it's not here."

"Well you have to go back."

"Are you kidding?" Paine stopped and looked at Rikku. "It's Saturday night, it took us like an hour to get here, I'm not going back."

"Paine you forgot the gift though."

She jumped to the defensive. "Last time I checked it was a joined gift, so you forgot it too."

"I put you in charge of it!"

Paine sighed heavily. "Rikku it's cold, and it's going to take me forever to get there and come back."

Rikku motioned to the apartment buildings to their right. "We can't go in there with no gift."

"They're our friends, they'd understand."

"E ycg oui du tu uha drehk." Rikku tossed her hands in the air and shook her head.

"Wait a minute do you forget where we were this morning? You can't be blaming this on me."

"I'm not, but I thought that you could handle one—" Paine put her hand to her head. She was starting to feel a headache coming on. "single thing Paine. It's not right; not after everything those two have been through, we're not going in there empty handed."

"You gotta be fucking kidding me."

"I'm not." Rikku made sure her face said it too. It symbolized more than a housewarming gift to Rikku.

"I think they can live a few days without some stupid juicer." Paine grumbled.

"Oh so now it's stupid, well why did you agree to get it then Paine?"

"Because I was hungry, we were in that fucking store for three hours!"

"You could have just left!"

"Yeah leave, that's funny, and then have you bitch at me all day like you are now?"

"I'm bitching at you? I'm the bitch then Paine? For wanting to—"

"Yes! Yes Rikku, that's what you want to hear right? You're being a bitch right now." Paine shook her head. "I'm not going back, no, fuck that."

The car was deadly quiet for a few moments. Rikku knew at time she could be difficult, but let's not forget who she was dating. It wasn't always rainbows and puppy dog tails. She singled out her house key on her key chain calmly and tossed it onto Paine's lap.

"Go back and get it."

Her tone meant that this wasn't up for debate.

She slammed the door and Paine slammed her forearm against the steering wheel before putting the car in drive and peeling out.

_**Two hours and thirty minutes later…**_

Rikku chuckled at something Yuna had said; even Lulu had cracked a grin. Their little get together had turned out to be quite a big get together. Lulu's friends were here, Wakka's good friends from the blitz team and his roommates were all here save for Elma of course.

And Paine

Rikku had calmed down considerably and hoped Paine had too. She was waiting for Paine to arrive so she could put a drink in her hand and give her a nice I'm sorry kiss. She knew that wouldn't be enough, but she decided that Paine had to say sorry too. They were both in the wrong and she felt bad for handling it the way she did. That's why when a loud and familiar bunch began to holler "Dr. P!" She knew she Paine had finally come back.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Gippal laughed, already on his fifth drink.

Paine gave him a look and said nothing as she passed and headed toward the kitchen where she saw a counter where the gifts would be.

Yuna, Lulu and Rikku blinked in surprise when Paine walked right passed them put the gift down and then turned toward the door without a word.

"Uh oh…" Tidus walked over saying when he noticed what had happened. Rikku sighed heavily and put her drink down and went after her.

"Paine! Paine!" They had gotten as far as the street outside Wakka and Lulu's apartments when Paine turned around quickly.

"What!"

Rikku jumped and then took a step back. "What's wrong with you?" Her tone wavered slightly.

"Me?" Paine dug into her jeans pocket revealing the key Rikku had given her. "_You_ gave me the wrong fucking key!" She threw it onto the ground. She was pissed, beyond pissed. Livid was a good word. Rikku watched as whatever key she had given Paine bounced off the pavement once before failing still near a small puddle. She turned back and looked at Paine completely surprised.

"Listen, I know I messed up, but you really need to calm down." She warned.

Paine crossed her arms just to give herself something to do. "Don't you want to know how I got the juicer?"

Rikku wasn't sure she did.

"How?"

"Why don't you ask the police officer who just happened to be patrolling tonight."

Rikku exhaled heavily and put her hand to her forehead. "Paine." She felt like shit now.

"Well it's here, I hope you're happy." Paine turned to get in her car.

"Paine wait." Rikku went to stop her by placing a hand on her arm, and for the first time since they met, Paine flinched away.

"Please don't touch me right now."

Rikku took a step back in shock. "You're really that upset with me?"

Paine looked away from her. She couldn't take the look on Rikku's face. It actually looked like she hurt her feelings. Paine took a deep breath and tried with all her might to calm down, but she couldn't. It wouldn't be good for her to stay. "Have Yuna take you home." She turned to leave again.

"Paine!"

Paine stopped and turned around. "Rikku don't do this right now. I'm pissed okay? I'm upset because I'm fucking trying my best and I still get shit. Still! I don't want to talk about anything right now. I'm going home to sleep."

Rikku knew she couldn't push anymore, so she just nodded. She watched as Paine walked over to the driver's door and opened it. "Goodnight." She called. She felt really low right now, and had no idea why she had opened her mouth and said anything. How pathetic was she?

Paine paused and turned to look at her. She stared at her for a long time before walking over to Rikku and barely kissing her on the forehead before turning and getting into her car and leaving.

##

"I fucking.. She doesn't even care man." Gippal slurred sadly.

"Alright man alright." Nooj nodded as he pulled Gippal's arm over his shoulder and began moving toward the exit.

"Ay he alright?" Wakka asked as he came over to say goodbye.

"One too many." Nooj explained.

"Keep yuh head up Gip." Wakka lifted Gippal chin only to have him drop it again. He and Nooj chuckled.

"Thanks Walker…You're cool peoples, and yuh baby moma has possibly the best pair of—"

"Nooj hold on!" Rikku came over with her coat. "I'm going with you guys."

Nooj looked a little concerned. He didn't know if that was the best idea, but then again he really didn't know what had happened. All he knew was that Paine had showed up pissed, Rikku ran after her, and then Rikku came back up alone and stuck by her cousin's side for the remainder of the night. "Are you sure?" He asked.

Gippal put his coat on backwards. "Yeah man, Cid's girls comin' with us! She's gotta go love up her lady…"

Rikku chuckled at Gippal fighting with a sleeve. "Mad sa ramb oui."

Gippal swayed as Rikku took the coat off of him and put it on the right side. "Yea, cause us al bhed, we gotta stick together forever! We've been oppressed for too long!"

Nooj nodded at Rikku. "Alright let's go."

After complimenting the place and saying goodbye one more time. They went downstairs and got into Nooj's vegetable oil guzzling station wagon.

Rikku jumped when she felt a clammy hand on her shoulder. She looked behind her at Gippal in the back seat. "I never said this before… Partly because Painey would kill me, but I think you have the most beautiful legs ever."

Rikku couldn't help but chuckle at him. He was really something, and "Painey" was just about the most adorable thing ever. "What about Elma?"

"Elma? Em?" Gippal threw himself back on the back seat. "Fuck Elma!"

"Please don't get him started." Nooj shook his head.

Too curious for her own good Rikku decided to ask more. "I thought you liked her?"

"Like? I fucking love her crazy ass, but she's… she's…" He sat up in his seat again. "Cra'c hajan kuhhy muja sa. Cra'c ymfyoc kuhhy tu frydajan cra fyhd'c syh, vilg ed nekrd? Dryd'c lrelgc vun oui, cra sygac sa ryda socamv. Sa! Ruf luimt yhouha ryda sa! E's tuha dnoehk vun ran... Vilg Elma."

Rikku frowned. "Gip."

"Save it man…" With the long ride home Gippal just fell deeper into himself, and the alcohol in him. Nooj needed Rikku's help to bring him to his room once they arrived. Rikku smiled softly at what they found there.

Elma was curled up fast asleep under Gippal's army green blanket.

Gippal carelessly threw himself on the space she left for him and closed his eyes before turning toward her and falling asleep.

"Are they?" Rikku asked in a whisper as she and Nooj entered the quiet living room.

"No."

"What? Really?"

Nooj shook his head sadly. "Their just friends."

His words followed Rikku until she quietly pushed the door to Paine's room open and slipped inside. It never crossed her mind that this would be a bad idea. All that she could think was that she had failed her warrior tonight. She couldn't really explain the emotion bouncing around her ribcage when as the door clicked softly behind her.

The room was so dark, Paine had obviously closed the shades.

If she hadn't almost tripped over Paine's boots and jeans she would have been worried that Paine wasn't even in here.

But then she saw her, and it was like a million and one feelings and thoughts raced through her all at once. Rikku grabbed one at random

Love

Her mouth dried with nervousness as she shimmied out of her jeans and pulled her top over her head, leaving her in her satin camisole and red boy shorts. She quietly kicked her things aside and stepped closer to the bed.

Paine was lying haphazardly covered on her stomach with her face in the pillow and her toned arms wrapped around it.

Her bare shoulders made Rikku stop in her tracks, but then she noticed the straps of her bra and sighed in relief.

Paine woke to someone getting into bed with her. She stiffed at first but then completely relaxed when the mixture of spring flowers and the outside filled her senses.

Rikku

Paine opened her eyes and looked up in confusion. She opened her mouth to ask why she was here in her bed, and not at her own house or with Yuna.

Was she dreaming?

Her swirly emerald eyes paralyzed Paine though, she could only watch Rikku watching her as she climbed the rest of the way onto the small bed. Paine wrapped the blanket she was covered with over Rikku's small body and watched her carefully as she got comfortable.

Rikku reached a hand to Paine's side to cuddle with her but hesitated when her fingertips were met with cool skin. She looked up at Paine in shy question and Paine gave her a small look that told her that it was okay, she wasn't completely naked. She had always slept in her underwear, but whenever she slept in the same bed with Rikku she would wear pajamas of some kind.

It was just another reminder that Rikku wasn't supposed to be here. Paine cleared her throat lightly and was about to say something again when Rikku put a finger to her mouth to stop her. She settled that hand back under the covers around Paine's naked back and laid down facing her.

Paine had said she didn't want to talk, so Rikku was going to respect that and they weren't going to talk.

The silver haired woman looked down at Rikku and sighed. She rested her head down on the pillow beside her girlfriend's and they just stared at one another.

_What a day._

Rikku fell asleep first leaving Paine to wonder what had just happened, but more importantly, how she could make it right.

##

They broke from their kiss. "Let's never fight ever again." Rikku breathed as she better wrapped her arms around Paine's strong arms that were holding her from behind.

Paine was spooning Rikku, and had her wrapped up in her embrace in such a way that it would take some real thought and effort to separate. It was a good thing they didn't want to do that though. The silver haired woman leaned down and peppered kisses along the side of her tan neck and drank her scent in. "I'm sorry…" Paine mumbled before kissing her skin again. How on Spira she had lost sight that Rikku was her person, and was to be treated with nothing but respect was beyond her. She knew she had gone too far, and at the moment she didn't know how to make it right besides showing Rikku how important she was to her. How much she adored her.

Rikku extended her neck a little as Paine kissed her there. "Pypo." She half whined half moaned.

"Yeah?" Paine whispered as she let the tip of her nose guide her kisses up Rikku's jaw.

"You're making me hard."

Paine pulled her head back a little. "What?"

"This! You're making this hard for me." Rikku blushed.

Paine laughed. "I'm making you hard? What does that even mean? Where?" Paine lifted the covers they were sharing and Rikku giggled as she pulled it back down.

"Stop it!"

Paine finally gave up and wrapped her one arm back around Rikku and held her tightly. "Do you forgive me?" She asked seriously. She needed to know where they stood. It was their first real fight as a couple and Paine wasn't sure how the whole making up process went.

Rikku nodded and sighed contently. "Do you forgive me?" Paine had been right about one thing last night, she was kind of a bitch.

Paine snuggled up closer behind her. "Of course."

"I care for you." Rikku whispered as she felt Paine squeeze her lightly. She loved when she did that. "Lots."

Paine exhaled against the back of her neck. "I care about you too Rikks, a whole bunch."

"Bunches?"

Paine chuckled and rested her chin on Rikku's shoulder so they were cheek to cheek. "Bunches."

##

"I need more."

She exhaled and nodded with agreement. She had caught sight of the familiar figure entering the top near the box seats and had foolishly lost control of the note.

"That was flat, I know." She adjusted herself and then nodded at the man seated behind the piano.

The figure who had distracted her nodded in approval has his current employer began her vocal drills once more.

"Perfect! You jem, I need that in two months, you hear me?"

"You'll get it Claude." She was something of a perfectionist when it came to her things.

"That's what I like to hear, take ten."

She nodded and walked off and down a few steps behind some dingy velvet curtains and ran a hand through her long hair.

Where did he go?

She paused and crossed her arms in annoyance when she heard a single person begin to clap.

He appeared from behind some equipment "Not bad boss."

"Do you have it?" She had finally paid him a few weeks ago and it had only made him cocky.

He reached into a messenger bag on his hip and pulled out an envelope. "Right here."

"Let's go somewhere else." She motioned down the hall and to her dressing room. They walked side by side in silence until they were in the confides of the small changing room. It didn't have much to it, but it was a single so he assumed she had to be good or at least important.

She cleared the makeup off of the area right before the vanity mirror and caught her own reflection in the mirror.

"Ahem."

She turned and motioned for him to bring the stills to the light and rest them down in front of her.

He did as he was motioned to do.

She pulled the small stack out. "When?"

"Yesterday, and the day before."

She picked up the first still. The slim young woman with strikingly similar features was walking beside a rather handsome man with snowy white hair. They had books in their hands and she had a messenger bag over her shoulder.

It was the first picture of its kind and it made her chest well with pride. "Where was this taken?"

He leaned over to get a better look at which one she was referring to. "Oh, New Luca University, right outside the library."

"And who is he?" She pointed to man with the small smile on his face.

"I've never seen him before. A friend I guess?" He shrugged.

She studied the picture closely. "A friend…"

She was smart and she had friends.

The next picture was inside of some kind of store. She furrowed her brows at the reoccurring blonde. "Where is this?"

"Home Goods, if you could believe it. Surprised my camera got a good one with that lighting."

She nodded and stared at the two shoppers. One of them was examining some kind of appliance, while the other stood there looking like a root canal would be more fun. She had _his_ annoyed face that was for sure.

She moved to the next picture, still in Home Goods except now _she_ was holding onto what looked like a toaster and the blonde had a hand to her face in gentle disapproval. She found herself chuckling. "Are they friends?" They looked like quite the duo, and it would definitely explain why this shorter woman was in so many other stills.

"Keep going."

She nodded and went through some more stills. She paused when she came upon one in particular. "Where is this?"

"Outside of some apartments near Midtiown. Cozy little places, pretty nice price too—"

"I'm not paying you to be my real estate agent." She pointed to the very pissed off looking woman in the picture and the sheepish looking blonde. "What happened?"

"Sounded like an argument."

"Did you hear anything?"

He shrugged. "You pay me to take pictures, so that's what I do."

"You're useless."

"You're delusional. Look, I kinda figured out why you want these, you—"

"Get out."

"What about my compensation?"

"I said, get out!"

He scurried out of the small dressing room and she shook her head in annoyance and then ran a hand through her hair. She flipped to the last still.

_She_ had her lips pressed gently against the blonde's forehead.

She found a seat in front of the vanity mirror and stared down at the single frame for who knows how long. Genuine confusion and torn emotions was the only thing she could register feeling.

##

They were huddled close on one side of the booth Monday midmorning at the student run coffee shop.

Paine's morning class had been canceled, so it was a nice change of pace to be able to actually sit with Rikku and have breakfast.

"It's not going to snow." Paine shook her head at how excited Rikku looked as she used her cell phone to check the weather again.

It was rather cold though, a little too cold for the end of September. Paine just sighed; this meant that winter was going to suck. But it wasn't a complete loss; Rikku looked especially cute in all these layers.

Paine picked up her cup of black coffee and took a sip only to have it almost knocked out of her hands from Rikku's excited nudge. She pushed her cell phone in Paine's face.

"Slight chance!"

Paine chuckled. "Gimmie that." She put her coffee down and took Rikku's cell phone.

"I wonder if yours can check the weather, I can rig it so it can, I'm Al bhed."

Paine motioned to her cell phone that was sitting on the table near her coffee cup.

She was too busy reading the weather report to see that Rikku was taking pictures with funny faces for her to find later.

Not quite satisfied with her mischief for the day, Rikku slid open the keyboard on Paine's phone and texted herself something. She waited until she saw Paine's concentrated face distort slightly and then changed into an amused one. She glanced at Rikku before texting back.

Rikku blushed deeply when she read it and looked at Paine in surprise. "Paine!"

Paine smirked. "Babe."

"Why are you starting stuff?"

Paine feigned innocence. "I'm not doing anything! I'm reading the weather."

"I have proof." Rikku grinned while waving Paine's cell phone around a little.

Paine shook her head smugly. "All you have are a couple texts from your phone, on my phone... So in a court of law, I'm the one being harassed."

Rikku laughed. "You like it."

Paine laughed too and handed Rikku back her phone. "It isn't going to snow by the way."

"It is it is, I can feel it in my bones."

Paine took a few sips of her coffee. "How much you want to bet?"

Rikku but her hand to her chin in thought. "Hmm."

Paine groaned. "Here she comes."

Yuna and Tidus appeared just then and slipped into the booth across from them.

"Yeah, sure join us." Paine said sarcastically.

"Be nice." Rikku shook her head but smiled at her cousin and Tidus.

"Well you two sure look cozy." Yuna smiled at how close the two were sitting. Rikku had called to talk to her last night and explained how they spent the whole day saying sorry to each other like a bunch of saps. It was good to know they were in a better place now.

Tidus didn't say anything.

Paine noticed this and raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

"His pet goldfish died this weekend." Yuna announced gravely.

"Oh my gosh Tidus I'm so sorry." Rikku sympathized. Paine just stared at her, the level of sincerity in her voice nothing short of real.

Tidus nodded. "Thanks Rikku. It was really sudden and…" Yuna patted his back when he became choked up.

"He doesn't like to talk about it." Yuna nodded.

"Yeah, I understand." Rikku looked to Paine.

"Uh…. Yeah, that sucks." She tried.

"Anyway, I think we should change the subject." Yuna proposed as she pushed a bagel and cream cheese over to Tidus. "Eat something." She whispered.

"How are classes going for you guys?" Rikku asked the table.

Yuna directed her attention at Paine. "Well, except…." She sighed dramatically and Rikku chuckled. "I just, I'm worried how I'm going to do on this project."

No one said anything but they were all looking at Paine.

Paine rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll do it."

Yuna jumped out of her seat with excitement.

Tidus stared at his girlfriend and Rikku burst out in a fit of giggles.

Catching herself, Yuna sat back down. "You'll do it? I have your word?"

Paine shrugged. "Yeah yeah."

Yuna clapped her hands together happily.

"Shiva Yunie. You almost gave me a heart attack." Rikku was still laughing; her cousin was a real nut when she wanted to be.

"This is so great. I have to text Lulu!" Yuna pulled out her cell phone. "What are you doing this afternoon Paine? We'll need to get started right away."

##

"I don't see why I have to come."

He matched his pace to theirs across the street.

Paine looked at Rikku. "You don't?"

Rikku chuckled. "You saying you're afraid of Yunie?"

"No."

The two held hands and walked the manageable distance from Rikku's house to Yuna's that Monday evening. They were dressed warmly in sweaters. Paine was wearing one of Shuyin's maroon beanies.

She had picked it up while they were at his apartment that one time with Gippal and Lai. It made her a little sad when she took it out, but no one ever gave a damn about the kid. After his death it was like he wasn't ever there, and that wasn't right. So it was her way of remembering him. When she told Rikku about it the blonde only smiled meaningfully at her and mentioned how it brought out her eyes.

"So why do I have to come?"

"Because Rikku." Paine sighed.

"Because?"

"Alright I will admit that she can be a bit much…."

Rikku began to laugh but it fell short when Paine stopped dead in her tracks. "What?"

Paine couldn't shake a feeling all of a sudden. "Nothing." She glanced around. "Yeah, nothing."

Rikku looked around too. "What?"

"Nothing nothing." Paine quickened her step a little bit though. "What were you saying?"

He exhaled and shook his head before moving from behind the tree he was hiding behind and going back to his car. He had gotten the picture he needed, no need to be greedy and end up with a broken jaw or something.

In his line of work it wasn't uncommon.

**AN: Hey everyone! How's this chapter sitting with you? Ya like it? Don't like it? Want more? Let me know!**

**KathleenDee**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One**

"That will be 14.35."

Paine dug into her pockets.

"Does it all strike you as weird that the last three gifts you bought for your twenty year old girlfriend have come from a toy store… For children?" Baralai asked watching as Paine paid the woman at the register.

Paine gave him a look as she took the plastic bag. "What are you implying?"

He chuckled as they headed out of the store. "Nothing I'm just asking."

"I got her a teddy bear last month."

"From a toy store."

"What does it matter?" Paine asked as she reached for her car keys. "Rikku's a kid at heart; trust me I know what she likes."

Lai opened the passenger door to the Paine's car and got in. "Jelly beans? Several pounds of them?"

"You obviously don't know Rikku. And besides..." Paine paused as she reversed out of the parking lot. "We are going out to dinner on Saturday."

"Where at?"

"Nowhere fancy, it's my turn to pay."

"I always wondered how that works. Two chicks, who pays?"

"One, don't say chicks ever again." They shared a small laugh. "And two, shouldn't you know something about this?"

Baralai looked away. "Well no."

Paine glanced at him and then nodded. "Usually who ever had the idea to go out pays for it. But I guess for more legit things we switch off. I still like to pay though..."

"Rikku's family is loaded..."

"Yeah but she's _my_ girlfriend. Trust me I'm reminded of that stuff all the time. I had to talk her out of buying a forty dollar pair of socks off the internet the other day." Paine shook her head at Rikku's argument that they would pay for themselves.

Baralai laughed at the mental image. "How do you get passed it?"

Paine shrugged lightly. "Regardless about what everyone thinks Rikku's different. She doesn't really mind, her priorities are elsewhere. She knows I would if I could. That's why I gotta do really well this year."

"Why is that? Graduate school?"

Paine nodded. "I've been really thinking about it. Then I'm guaranteed a certain pay when I graduate y'know?"

"Wow Dr. P you're thinking long term here."

Paine thought about it for a second as they turned onto the road where the university entrance was. She shrugged. "It's more for myself…. I have to have a plan."

##

"What about this one?"

Tidus walked over and examined the fish tank Rikku was pointing at. "The little one?"

Rikku pressed her face closer to the tank. "Yeah he's kinda cute, y'know?"

Tidus shook his head. "He's the runt, he'll just die."

"Aw give him a chance, we could name him… Oscar!"

Tidus leaned forward and rubbed his chin as he watched the little goldfish. "Strong swimmer…"

"Yeah see, and he can hide better than all the other little ones."

"I don't know if I can handle another loss…"

Rikku patted his back. "Take your time." She left Tidus's side and began to walk around the pet store. Tonight she and Paine were going out to dinner for their three month anniversary, which fell on a Tuesday this month, but since they both had exams all week for midterms they decided to have it tonight on Saturday. She couldn't be excited about that until Paine called her and said everything was okay though. Dr. Vice had called her in to pick up the tests and Paine went by herself. Rikku understood why, she wasn't mad, she was just anxious. That's half of the reason why she agreed to go pet shopping with Tidus, she wanted to keep her mind off of it, the second reason being she really felt bad about his fish dying. Yuna was over at Lulu's and Wakka was working. She felt kind of honored that he had called her still.

Rikku walked down the cat food isle. She was definitely a dog person, but it gave her something to do while she waited on Tidus to make his decision. Just then her phone began to ring.

"Pai?"

A familiar chuckle was heard. "Sorry to disappoint."

Rikku smiled. "Lulu."

"Yuna wants to go out for lunch, and I need some fresh air, care to join us?"

"Sure, when are you guys going?"

"In an hour or so."

"I'm at the pet store with Tidus right now." Rikku chuckled as she heard the message being relayed to Yuna.

After convincing Tidus that he didn't need a whole new fish tank filtering system. The two checked out and headed for Tidus's yellow sports car. "Thanks for coming with me today, Rikku." He said as he nestled the plastic baggy with the Oscar in it in the cup holder between them. He watched it carefully and then went to buckle his seatbelt.

"No problem dude."

"Wanna get lunch?"

"I have to meet up with your Yunie and Lulu for lunch actually. I'd invite you but I think its girls only."

"Ah." Tidus chuckled. "You excited for Halloween?"

"I'm excited for your party if that's what you're asking."

He grinned. "It's gonna be so awesome!"

##

"I swear he walks around like I'm going to just drop a baby out any second." Lulu shook her head.

Rikku and Yuna both laughed. "He's just excited for it Lulu."

"Yeah give Dad a break." Rikku laughed more. She was glad she decided to go out to lunch with Yuna and Lulu; she had missed spending time with the two of them.

Lulu shook her head again. "This morning I caught him baby proofing the apartment." She took a sip of her iced tea. "I'm actually happy to leave for work when he starts his nonsense."

Yuna smiled. "When are you going to take leave?"

"The day before I give birth."

Rikku chuckled. "Ah c'mon, Wakka can't be that bad."

"He means well, which is why I can never stay mad at him, it's just sometimes…"

Yuna nodded. "How are things with your parents?"

"Yeah have they realized just how cute this kid is gonna be yet?" Rikku asked.

For a moment Lulu looked a little sad. "Pa has been calling to check up on me, he's wanted to see me, even offered to meet Wakka."

"Wow, that's great."

"But my mother won't let him out of her sight. She's so controlling, this is why I wasn't even going to tell her until Wakka and I had proper time to talk about things."

"I think she'll come around Lulu." Rikku added. She felt the sadness hanging in the air and knew it her responsibility to change that. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

Lulu paused to think about it. "Wakka wants a little girl, but I wouldn't mind either really."

"Has it started kicking yet?"

Lulu chuckled. "No, not yet. I'm not worried though. I'm trying to enjoy all the quiet now. I have a doctor's appointment in a week to tell the gender, Wakka wants me to go, but I am not sure. He's been working a lot."

"Don't you want to know?" Rikku asked. "Yunie or I can go with you." Rikku turned to look at her cousin who nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, yes, I need to know what type of clothes to sew."

Lulu chuckled. "You started already haven't you?"

Yuna shrugged. "This is my first little niece or nephew, excuse me for being a little excited."

Rikku laughed. "I think Yunie started the moment she found out."

Lulu smiled. "I was thinking of going alone but it would be nice to have a little company."

The three continued talking over a period of two hours. Rikku had missed being around Lulu and Yuna at once. The two close friends were so entertaining when together. They talked about the baby some more, their other halves, the weather changing which inevitable lead to fashion. Rikku was a little sad to say goodbye when they were done.

She was on her way home when her cell phone rang. It was a busy Saturday afternoon, and the Temple's had just let out so everyone and their mom was on the road. Rikku decided that speakerphone would be best.

"Yvdanhuuh!"

"Hey, it's me."

Rikku smiled brightly. "Pypo!"

Paine chuckled a little. "You sound far away."

"I'm on my way home, in the car…"

"Oh."

"So how did it go? C'mon you're not saying anything."

"It went alright I guess…"

"Alright?"

"Well they didn't...hold on." Rikku could hear small voices and then Paine's. "Yeah but that's why you have to share... No." Paine sighed and then got back on the phone. "Joyce is on call so I'm babysitting Jade and Big Mack for a few hours."

"Aw."

"Yeah, so we still on for dinner tonight?"

Rikku stopped at a red light and looked at her phone. "Yeah, what should I wear?"

"Casual."

"Causal…"

Paine laughed. "That's all I can tell you, oh and it's going to be cold so bring a sweater and stuff."

"Ooh, you'll get to see me in my new coat. Yunie and I went shopping…I feel like I already told you this…"

"You have, you went shopping on Thursday right?"

"Yeah." Rikku took her foot of the break and began to drive again once the light was green. "Well listen, what time should I be ready?"

"No reservations to this place, I've learned my lesson with you."

Rikku pretended to be offended. "Well come over early okay? I want to talk to you."

Paine paused. "About what?"

"Just come over early."

"Alright. I gotta go I think they're in the fridge again."

"Alright bye bye Pypo."

"See yuh later Ri."

##

Paine rang the doorbell and waited. It was around 5 in the evening and it was already dark out with a steady cold wind. She shook her head at the two pumpkins on the ground that hadn't been there before. She and Rikku had carved them last weekend and she supposed Cid finally got around to putting the finishing touches on them so the candles inside of them could burn steadily without any mishaps happening.

"You again?" Cid asked when he opened the door and found Paine looking at the pumpkins.

Paine looked up. "Um…"

"I'm just joking girl, geez. Come out of the cold."

Paine nodded and entered the warm house.

Cid stood there for a second examining Paine and what she was holding in her hands. "Three months huh?"

Paine nodded.

"Where you guys headed tonight?"

"A noodle bar… Downtown…"

"Huh." Cid nodded, Paine was an interesting one indeed, she was never really one for small talk. He supposed it balanced Rikku's constant chatter well.

"Yeah."

"Any plans for Harvest Dinner?"

Paine shrugged. "We usually cook real late where I live."

"Its a little ways away, but I was wondering if you would come to ours this year. Braska, Yuna, Kirill may even come down now. We have it earlier in the day so…" Cid nodded and folded his arms. "Have you ever been to an Al bhed Harvest?"

"No…"

"Well then you should come."

Paine nodded with a small smile. "Thanks Cid."

"No problem, Rikku's in the attic I believe."

Paine nodded and took off her shoes before going upstairs. She smiled when she found Rikku humming to herself as she pried open the attic window to get more air flowing. She was dressed neatly in a pair of jeans and a flowing black blouse.

"Your dad just invited me to Harvest." Paine said after leaning against the door frame.

Rikku turned around a little started but then smiled. "What did you say?"

Paine shrugged. "I said thanks." She pushed herself off the doorframe and met Rikku in the middle of the room. They shared a series of small kisses before Paine motioned to the shiny opaque plastic bag in her hand. "I brought you this." She motioned to it.

Rikku stared at curiously before taking it out of Paine's hands and noting that it was way heavier than it looked. "What is it?"

"Holiday Jelly Beans."

"You didn't!" Rikku smiled brightly as she opened the plastic sack gently as to not cause a spill. "Oh, thanks baby this is perfect." She reached a hand in and pulled out a few. "I read about these things, the green ones are supposed to taste like pine, the red ones like peppermint, the yellow ones like…" She went on.

Paine chuckled. "You would read about when a certain candy come ou— Hey easy we're going to dinner remember?"

Rikku grinned as she tried to talk while chewing. "I gotta try at least one of each before we leave." She closed her eyes in happiness.

Paine shook her head at her weird girlfriend before looking around the room. "You wanted to talk to me…"

Rikku nodded after opening her eyes, "Not here, come down to my room with me,"

Paine nodded. "Alright." They went down a level and into Rikku's room. Rikku closed the door behind her and pried herself away from her anniversary gift. She placed the bag of jelly beans on her desk and went to sit beside Paine on the bed. "You were avoiding my question earlier…"

"About?"

"About how the doctor's went."

Paine sighed and dug into her leather jacket pocket and pulled out a slip of paper before handing it to Rikku.

Rikku examined Dr. Vice's doctor handwriting carefully. It was a prescription for some pill with a fancy name to be taken once a day until prescribed otherwise. "…There were no alternatives?"

Paine took off her leather jacket. "Nope."

"What are you going to do?" Rikku asked when she looked up at her.

"I'm not going to fill it."

Rikku nodded slowly. "I understand why you don't want to, but he's a specialist in these types of things… What did he say to you?"

"Nothing I didn't know."

"Well I don't know Paine, so tell me."

Paine sighed. "Can we just go out to dinner, Rikks?"

Rikku sighed this time. "Can you just be up front with me, Pai?"

Paine stood from the bed and paced. "He said that he is concerned about the amount of stress this version of PAWS puts on my nervous system. He said I had elevated levels of neurotransmitters and the reason for it getting worse is because my brain is trying to heal at a faster rate than it should. He doesn't know when it will stop but he is worried about nerve damage… Seizures…"

"Oh well then you're taking this." Rikku shook her head motioning to the prescription. At this point Paine had no say in the matter.

Paine ran a hand through her hair. "See, Rikks I knew you would say that if I told you."

"So you were going to wait until you had a seizure to tell me?"

"It's a small chance."

"You said yourself that you are the exception remember? More susceptible?"

Paine sat down again beside Rikku. "You can't understand how it feels to depend on something like this… " She struggled for the right words. "It's like… water, you need it to survive and you can't even go days without it. That's how I felt a few years ago…" She took Rikku's hand. "Then when I met you I knew I never wanted to feel that way ever again. So I have to struggle a little…"

Rikku shook her head. "Baby listen to yourself…"

Paine sighed heavily. "I thought you would understand."

"I do, I do. I just can't take you hurting anymore… Do you get that, do you understand me? When you got shot… my world, Paine, my whole world felt empty." Paine looked at her as she spoke. "It's selfish I know, but I really need you to be okay. You yourself said it was getting worse. It would kill me if something happened and we could have prevented it. I know what I want you to do, but in the end this is up to you. I will support you no matter what… I just want you to slow down a little and think." She took her hand out of Paine's and used it to rub her back. "Slow down."

When Paine firmly believed in something that was it, there was no swaying her or trying to convince her otherwise. This was one of the many things that made her attractive to Rikku. She was passionate about her things, yet sometimes, like now, that passion could get in the way of logic, what Paine needed to do was take a second and think about this without bias. Weigh the reality.

Paine looked away. "That's not all…"

Rikku tilted her head. "What is it?"

"My insurance won't cover these anyway, and they're like seven bucks a pop."

"Seven dollars per pill?" Rikku asked incredulously looking back down at the prescription. "Shit."

Paine laughed at the sound of Rikku cursing. "That's what I said."

"Well…" Rikku thought of something but knew Paine would be completely against it.

_Stupid pride_

"No." Paine said already reading her mind. "I don't want to think or talk about this anymore okay? I just want to take my girlfriend out to a nice dinner alright?"

Rikku could see the stress returning to her face. She had probably been fighting it all day. "Okay Pypo, okay."

Paine nodded. "Thank you." Rikku frowned and Paine leaned forward to kiss it away. "Stop it." She said softly. "Now where's your new coat, let me see if it meets my standards."

Rikku smiled at her attempt and decided to go with it. She stood and went to her closet with the doctor's prescription still in her hand. "Well it's not black…"

"Oh, well then it's no good."

Rikku chuckled as she stuffed the small paper in the first jacket she saw. She made a mental note of the color and design before reaching for her new red coat. "Oh!" She reached down on the floor where a thin box was. "I almost forgot your gift Pypo." Rikku walked out and showed her the coat first.

Paine nodded in approval. "I like it a lot actually."

"Here let me put it on so you can see." Rikku handed Paine her gift and got into the coat. It was stylish and had two lines of buttons, one line was just for show and the ones on the right actually buttoned up to keep Rikku snug and warm. The inseam was a cute insulated pattern of red, navy, and purple. Rikku twirled once just for the hell of it.

"Looks great, you look cute in it."

"Not as cute as you're going to look in that." Rikku said pointing to the box in Paine's right hand. She walked over to where Paine was standing and motioned for her to open it.

Paine opened the small box to reveal a deep purplish gray scarf. Paine chuckled with approval. "Babe."

Rikku took it out of the box and showed her the length. "It's from the same company that I get mine from, except I made sure to get yours shorter cause I know how you think mine are _annoyingly long_." She then wrapped it around Paine's neck. "Is it warm?"

Paine nodded. "It is, I love it, thanks Ri." She leaned down and kissed Rikku.

"Wear it tonight?"

"Yeah, you wanna get going?"

Rikku nodded and then turned to her bag of assorted holiday jelly beans. "Hold on." She grabbed a handful, glanced at her closest and then nodded as she followed Paine out the door.

##

"Ahh I'm so full… I think I'm a little tipsy too." Rikku said dreamily as she patted her stomach. Paine had an arm around her shoulders as they walked back down the street to where Paine had parked.

Paine chuckled. "They just kept on bringing out more noodles."

Rikku nodded. "I didn't want to be rude and not finish it."

"Right right."

"Wait, are you okay to drive? Cause I'm not okay to drive…" Rikku shook her head. "Nope."

Paine laughed some more. "Yeah I'm okay."

"How did you find out about this place?" Rikku asked as she put her left arm around Paine's torso and leaned into her happily. It was a very nice evening, the food was great, the atmosphere was fun, and young, and Paine had gotten her to try some of the weirdest stuff. But her mind wondered, as it often did, and she would grow sad. Paine would see this and do something cute or romantic, and it was the perfect remedy at the time. But the night was coming to an end and her brave face was worn.

Rikku was worried.

"Nooj actually… At first I was a little skeptical, but then I noticed there was meat on the menu."

Rikku nodded. "We have to add this to our list."

"Mhm. It was good." Paine grew paranoid all of a sudden. Like someone was watching them. She pushed it down mistaking it for her anxiety. "You really had an okay time Rikks?" Paine asked sincerely.

Rikku squeezed Paine lightly. "Of course. There is no other place I would have wanted to be tonight."

##

It was dark in here. She didn't know how Paine did it. If she were honest with herself she would say that there was still something so mysteriously scary about the dark. Maybe it offered Paine some sort of comfort though.

Rikku entered the small guest room quietly and closed the door behind her. She could just make out the lift in the covers that was Paine. She was turned on her side on the left side of the bed sleeping soundlessly.

Paine woke to someone spooning her, she immediately tensed.

"It's just me." Rikku reassured in a whisper as she got more comfortable behind her. Paine seemed to relax a little, but not all the way.

She had never been held before, not like this. Rikku had her arm wrapped snuggly around her midsection and was pressed up as close as possible to the taller woman. She could feel Rikku nuzzle her back before resting her cheek to the pillow. "Are you okay?" Paine asked; her voice thick with sleep.

"I just wanted to be close to you. I can't sleep." Paine turned her head as much as she could just to make sure she looked okay. When she was somewhat satisfied with what she found she turned back and rested her arm on top of Rikku's own that was wrapped around her. "Are you alright in here?" Rikku asked. "Do you need me to get you some water or something?"

"I'm fine, baby."

Rikku kissed the back of her neck. "Okay." She was worried; she had been since their conversation earlier that evening. If making sure Paine was okay meant she would sound a little nagging, well then Rikku was okay with that.

They fell quiet for a little while, both just enjoying the opportunity to switch roles. Rikku squeezed Paine gently and found her eyelids growing heavy.

"I'm going to be fine. You don't have to worry."

Paine's words caused the blonde to open her eyes again. "I am worried though."

"Is that why you couldn't sleep?" Paine felt Rikku nod.

"I don't want you to get hurt. I hate seeing you in pain."

Paine finally turned around in Rikku's teddy bear like grip. "Rikks—"

"It's not fair either. You are doing great things and you still have to go through this. Two years later? Then I just get off scot free—"

"Stop it." Paine shook her head. "I never want to hear you talk about what happened to you in comparison to what is going on with me." Paine wrapped her right arm around Rikku's body. "It isn't the same."

Rikku sighed heavily and if at all possible scooted closer to Paine. "Have you decided yet?"

Paine hugged her closer sensing that the blonde needed the contact. "No."

"When will you know?"

"I don't know." Paine answered honestly.

"Let me help you…"

Paine sighed, she knew that's all Rikku ever wanted to do, she just wanted help people. She wanted to fix things, make things right. "Baby he said that it _might_ occur…"

"But it's serious enough to prescribe you something, Paine."

"It's not just as easy as saying yes."

"But it is."

"How am I going to afford two hundred extra bucks a month?"

She had done the math, it showed that Paine was actually thinking about it like she promised Rikku she would. "I told you I'd be your sugar momma."

Paine actually chuckled at that and felt Rikku hug her closer in response. "No."

"You're so stubborn." A flash of frustration was evident in her tone. "Is it that you're just worried about getting hooked…?"

Paine fell quiet. "These things they replace things in the brain. They change the whole chemical composition…they make you different, Rikku."

"How do you know?"

"When I was younger they had me on anti depressants. All because I didn't feel like talking, or playing or anything." Paine shrugged. "Maybe there was something wrong with me, maybe there is… But I don't want to change into a person that could do the things I promised myself I would never do… I don't want to go there again, so I need to be sure about this medication, I just need time to think, okay? Just give me some time baby and I know that things will be okay."

Rikku desperately wanted to say okay and let it be, but she couldn't, she couldn't just accept what Paine had to say. "What if you have more withdrawal symptoms in between now and when you make up your mind?" Rikku moved her face so they were looking directly at each other. "I have no doubt that you will try Pypo, but I just don't want something to happen to you before then, I know you wouldn't tell me… Would you?" Her silence was enough of an answer. Rikku huffed and pulled an arm away from snuggling Paine. "You know it's not just about me trusting you. You have to trust me too."

"I do trust you—"

"So how come every time something happens I have to pull teeth to get any information? It's like you don't care to tell me anything." She made a small amount of distance between them on the bed.

"Bab—"

"Every one else would know something before me."

"No one else would know no one." Paine felt that if she didn't say something soon Rikku would leave, she could feel in her words that the blonde was genuinely hurt. "I hesitated to tell you because I knew you would worry like this. How do you tell your girlfriend, the person closest to you, that you can get sick really bad at random, and that the pills they want to give you, you don't want to take? How did you want me to tell you that, knowing already how you fuss over me? I'm tired of me being this way. You don't think I've noticed you having trouble at school? Being back there? But I can't ask you about it because you'll just turn it over and talk about me, because what I'm going through is heavier? No." Paine shook her head. "I need to be there for you too, and I can't do that with all this shit going on. So I hesitate Rikku, on the phone, in person, whatever, because I'm waiting just in case you had a bad day and want to talk about it, just in case you have something interesting you want to tell me." She calmed down a little bit and scooted closer to Rikku again. "I know I'm bad at these things… But I ... I really want to be good at you, for you. It's a dumb reason I know, but it's my only one… You're my only one."

The one thing she had been accusing Paine of not doing, she wasn't either. Rikku struggled for a few moments. "I'm sorry..."

Paine shook her head. "No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." They hugged.

Rikku frowned at herself. She knew she hadn't been completely honest with herself or Paine about things, and the fact that Paine had read that and not said anything made her wonder why she tried to hide it in the first place. They couldn't act like they didn't know each other. "If you promise to just tell me things, I promise to do the same." She whispered, still wrapped up in the hug.

Paine nodded over her shoulder. "I promise."

They separated and Paine leaned forward to kiss her gently. She cupped Rikku's cheek and rubbed it softly. "I guess we're both learning." Rikku whispered.

"That's okay though." Paine whispered back.

Rikku nodded and leaned the small distance to kiss her again. "Yeah." She sighed and rested her face near Paine's once they broke apart. "I'm still worried."

Paine nodded. "I know."

"That's what you do when you care about someone a whole lot y'know?"

"I just wish you didn't have to." Paine shrugged to herself. "I'm tough y'know?"

Rikku chuckled. "You are."

They laid there quietly for a few moments. "Do you really think I should try these pills?"

Rikku thought about it for a moment. She didn't know what would change if anything at all. "I guess I can't tell you what to do…" Rikku frowned a little. "We can make a pro and con list." She nodded.

Paine chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. "No we can't, not when the pro's and the con's are up in the air."

"Oh yeah." Rikku pouted.

Paine sighed heavily. "But I have to do something…"

Rikku agreed. "You have to do something."

"Why haven't you been going to class?" Paine asked glancing at Rikku.

It took the blonde a second to adjust to the change of pace. She looked away as she spoke. "Those girls are in that class with me."

"The ones that were talking shit?"

"Yeah, and usually y'know It doesn't bother me what they think, it's just when I sit up front I feel like everyone is looking at me… The other day Leblanc had a trial and we had Auron's TA as a step in…"

Paine frowned. "What happened?"

"Nothing Pai, nothing happened. She knew though, and I could tell once she noticed who I was she couldn't…" Rikku sighed. "I don't know."

"You need me to go straighten things out?" Paine asked seriously.

Rikku chuckled but stopped when she noticed Paine was being completely serious. "No!"

"All you have to do is point 'em out to me."

Rikku shook her head. "No Pypo."

"If anyone ever gives you trouble though, tell me. I won't do anything if you don't want to, but I would want to know."

Rikku leaned up on her elbow and looked down at Paine. "You got my back?"

Paine smiled. "Do you have to ask?"

"Well just say it." She grinned.

Paine rolled her eyes. "I got your back baby." She laughed though when Rikku shook her fists with excitement. "You're so weird."

Very rarely did her little lower east side accent come out, but when it did, it was the cutest thing ever to Rikku. "Say spiff."

Paine rolled onto her back. "No."

"Aw, c'mon Dr. P!" Rikku giggled as she leaned over Paine. "Pretty please?"

"Spiff." Paine grumbled.

Rikku laughed at how she even tried to pronounce it properly. "Aw baby, don't be embarrassed, E drehg ed'c ytunypma."

"_You're_ adorable." Paine countered with a little smile.

"Aw." Rikku leaned down and kissed Paine softly. "Say…"

Paine groaned. "No, no more."

"Say coffee!"

"Say potato, in Al bhed."

Rikku laughed. "budydu." Paine laughed a little. It was a funny word to say in Al bhed Rikku had to admit. "Say park…"

"Pawk"

"There's an R in there y'know."

"Parrrrrrrk." Paine corrected herself.

Rikku laughed and leaned down to kiss her again, she pulled away a few inches and smiled softly before leaning back in and kissing her again. Sensing the longevity of this kiss, Paine pulled Rikku down closer.

Eventually Rikku sunk her body down flesh against Paine's and sighed at the contact. Paine's lips were soft and full, and warm… Yevon, all of her was so warm. Rikku just wanted to stay here forever.

Their kiss was tender and gentle but soon turned passionate. It always seemed to work that way with them.

Rikku could feel Paine run her hands up and down her back, and it was just about the most distracting thing when one of her fingers would brush against the skin exposed by her spaghetti strapped top.

Rikku whimpered as Paine licked her bottom lip mid kiss. She granted her complete access of her mouth which caused simultaneous sounds of pleasure from the both of them when their tongues met for the first time. Rikku could already feel herself getting very warm between the legs.

Paine rolled them over at one point so that she was on top. Their breaths were labored when they finally pulled apart from the heated kiss. Rikku wanted to melt into the mattress with the look Paine was giving her. Her auburn eyes were a deep deep crimson and her stare never wavered. She seemed to be trying to calm herself down. Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and pulled her closer, now wasn't really the time.

Paine forced her kiss to be soft though, she brushed her lips against Rikku's first and then placed another light kiss there, and then another. Rikku's hips jumped when she kissed her again but pressed her body against hers at the same time. Paine made a noise and pulled away again to look down at Rikku. She hesitated but then leaned down and kissed Rikku with a certain finesse that caused the blondes hips to jump again. Rikku had no idea what was happening to her, she had no control over her actions and if she did she didn't know if she would want to stop it. It was like she was dehydrated, and Paine's touch was a refreshing splash of water.

Paine stared down at her as she answered her by lightly rocking her hips. Rikku closed her eyes and tightened her grip around her neck. Paine leaned down again and kissed her. Rikku moaned quietly into the kiss as she felt Paine grind against her again.

Paine could feel Rikku adjusting her legs beneath her to accommodate her waist. It made her plant her palms over the blonde's shoulders, hang her head and close her eyes, and focus on the sensation created when she rocked herself against Rikku's center again, this time with a little more pressure. The moan she got in response was louder. "Yevon." Paine breathed as she leaned her upper body down and rested her head over Rikku's left shoulder. She used her hands to hold Rikku tightly as she found a slow rhythm. Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's back and held her as close as possible as she responded to every roll of Paine's with one of her own. She arched her back sharply when Paine rubbed up against an extra sensitive spot between her legs.

Paine was heating up fast

Everywhere

She was hot everywhere

It was the best fever a girl could ask for.

She struggled to keep the delicateness of the situation in her mind but that proved to be difficult as Rikku whined and whimpered over her shoulder.

"Paine." Rikku moaned quietly.

"Baby s-stop, please."

She couldn't take the moaning

The moaning was going to kill her.

Rikku tried to keep her mouth closed but really couldn't. "That just… it just… vaamc naymmo kuut."

Paine exhaled heavily into the bed sheets and increased her speed just a little more. "You feel really good too…"

Yup, she was a goner.

Her chest ached, and her mind was yelling at her hands to move, to explore, but Paine knew better. She had no idea how they got here, and at the moment she really didn't care, she didn't want to push her luck though.

Rikku let a hand run through Paine's soft hair making sure to scratch her scalp as she went. It caused Paine to grunt softly, and it had to be the sexiest thing the younger woman had ever heard.

Rikku didn't believe for a second that Paine didn't dance. How else would know to move your hips like that? That, the friction of their shorts, warm legs moving slightly against hers, and Paine breathing in her ear was pushing Rikku to a point of want—needing more.

More what though?

Rikku blinked.

She had never done anything like this with another woman before. She wasn't completely lost, she knew the logistics but still that didn't seem enough. Paine seemed to know exactly how to move though. She definitely knew what she was doing and Rikku found that she didn't want to disappoint her…

They could no longer pretend that this wasn't happening.

Paine pulled her head up and looked down at Rikku. Yevon, they weren't even anywhere near being naked and she felt like her skin was on fire. She knew they had to stop before it went any further. Their eyes locked and her heart skipped a few beats. Rikku's eyes were a deep sea of sparkling emerald.

Paine stopped.

The feeling she got when she looked at her was near overwhelming.

Paine couldn't even begin to describe it.

It was like she couldn't breathe.

She wanted to love her. The ache between her legs, and the tightness in her chest told her so, but as the thought passed through her she suddenly realized that she didn't know how.

She was supposed to be the more experienced one, the less damaged one when it came to this. But Rikku brought something to the table that Paine had never felt before. She brought this emotion, this whole other thing that Paine felt move deep within her, but had no idea what to do with, how to speak that unspoken language…

How to make love to her.

Because that's what Rikku deserved, not just some random fooling around that turned into fucking, no.

Paine blinked as realization slapped her in the face.

She didn't know how to love her.

"Hey…" Rikku ran a hand up Paine's face and pushed some of her hair out of the way. Had she even realized that she just stopped? "What are you thinking about?" Her voice was a little throaty, but yours would be too.

Paine shook her head lightly and looked down at Rikku again. "Nothing I…"

"Maybe we should um…" She rubbed Paine's arm. "Stop." Her own insecure about being inexperienced finally surfacing.

Paine nodded. "Okay." She rolled off of her and onto her back with a quiet sigh.

They laid there in silence not looking at each other for some time.

Rikku's worries were banished though when she felt Paine face her and speak in the softest voice she had ever heard her use. "Was that okay?"

Rikku smiled and reached her left hand to hold onto Paine's forearm as she turned her head to look at her. "Was I okay?"

Paine chuckled softly and pressed a kiss onto her cheek. "Mmm more than okay." She mumbled onto her tan skin. Rikku giggled.

"That was…." Rikku exhaled. "Rud.." Paine chuckled and snuggled closer to Rikku.

They were okay.

"Pai?"

"Hm?"

"Say hot."

Paine sighed.

##

"It's easy to take off your clothes and have sex; people do it all the time, but opening up your soul to someone, letting them see your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, and dreams, that's being naked."

Paine shook her head slowly. "I've never… I don't know if I can."

Martha tilted her head. "It sounds like you have already Paine."

"She says she's scared…." Paine rubbed the back of her neck. "That's not what I want. I hate being this thing she has to worry about. I'm handling it, I'm working more trying to save up for at least a month's worth, but I'm tired, and I have other responsibilities like this fashion show, and I haven't had any symptoms recently so I'm basically anxious about being anxious. Which can't be good."

Martha nodded as Paine spoke. She almost couldn't believe this was the same troubled youth she had known for years. She was all grown up, and with that came grown up problems that adolescent Paine wouldn't even know how to deal with. Yet here she was, trying to figure it all out with words, with time. Martha knew she was still angry, she had watched the outside anger from when she was a teenager internalize itself with the years. It wasn't healthy, but what was healthy was her apparent concern with it all, her wanting to change.

"Have you ever considered meditation, Paine?"

##

"I don't even know." Rikku shrugged.

"Ladies, mind if we join you?"

The two cousins looked up and found Buddy and Tidus.

Tidus leaned over and peck Yuna on the lips and took the empty seat beside her. "It was so cold that the training pool has frost on it! They had some guy out there chipping at it till Wakka just grew fed up and canceled practice!" He laughed.

Rikku frowned when Buddy sat next to her. "Yeah it's definitely starting to be hot cocoa weather." He added.

Rikku made a face. "I don't like hot cocoa."

Yuna chuckled "Yeah, you like hot chocolate milk."

Buddy laughed. "Is there a difference?"

"Um, duh there is; deliciousness." Rikku shook her head. "That, and hot—"

"Cider." Paine finished as she appeared out of nowhere and placed the small paper cup down in front of Rikku. She was dressed in jeans and had her leather jacket was zipped up all the way to protect her from the cold wind outside. Her new purple scarf was wrapped around her neck a few times and her hair wasn't styled since she was wearing Shuyin's beanie; her dark silver bangs peeked out from under the maroon cap framing her face slightly.

Rikku looked behind her and immediately brightened up. She hadn't seen Paine since Monday, it was Thursday." "Pai!"

Paine smiled and leaned down to place a small kiss on Rikku's cheek. Rikku rested her hand on Paine's opposite cheek as she did it.

Yuna smiled at the action. They were so cute together when they weren't fighting.

"Hey guys." Paine greeted everyone except for Buddy, she just gave him a look that asked why he thought it was okay to sir so close to her girlfriend.

"What's up Dr. P!" Tidus waved.

"Paine, how are you?" Yuna smiled. She and Paine were spending more time together again since the fashion show was this weekend.

Paine smiled. "Hey Yuna."

Rikku looked around and leaned back in her chair to grab a nearby empty one. "Sit down, sit down. Buddy move over a little?"

Buddy huffed quietly but did as he was asked. So now Paine was sitting in between him and Rikku. Rikku even made sure to pull Paine's chair closer to hers before the older woman sat down.

For Buddy's safety more than for her own personal gain of course.

Paine smirked. "Thanks." She turned and looked at Rikku. "So that cost me ten extra cents to put the cinnamon stick in it, drink it before it gets cold."

Rikku chuckled and swirled the spiced bark around in the hot liquid. "Stop buying me things."

"Why?"

Rikku sighed but smiled at Paine anyway. "You know why."

"It's a hot cider, not a car."

"What are you doing out in the open anyway? I thought you have class now?" Rikku asked after blowing on the hot beverage.

"Yeah didn't you have a meeting with Simone too?" Tidus asked as he reached a hand over to grab one of Yuna's tomatoes off her salad.

"Ew, not with your fingers."

"My hands are clean!" He grinned sheepishly.

Yuna shook her head with a small chuckle. "You're a boy; your hands are never clean."

Tidus wrapped his arm around Yuna's shoulders and made sure his fingers tickled her collar bone.

"I had one with her."

Simone was Tidus and Paine's boss.

"What did she say?" Rikku asked.

"As long as I get a doctor's note I'm good to start teaching again."

Tidus chuckled. "Paine glares at the girl who is teaching self defense."

"She does it wrong." Paine mumbled as she looked down at her hands. Rikku laughed.

"You're a teacher?" Buddy asked.

Paine looked at him. "No."

Rikku chuckled at her one word answered. He could have asked if her name was Paine, and she's still say no. "Paine's a badass fighter."

Buddy burst out laughing and Paine raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry I just, I would have never though—"

"Why?"

Rikku rested a hand on her shoulder. "Paine…"

"No no Rikks, I'm actually curious." Paine played it down.

"She took down Wakka once, it was awesome." Tidus nodded at Buddy. "When you gonna teach me some of that Jujitsu?"

Paine shook her head. "It's Judo, blondie."

"Hey!" Rikku nudged Paine causing her to laugh a little.

"I mean that in the best way possible." Paine smiled for only her to see. She was in a really good mood now that she was able to work more. She could buy Rikku all the hot ciders and warmed up chocolate milks she wanted. She watched Rikku take a few sips and peeked at her as she did so, then blushed when she got caught. Paine smiled to herself and looked away.

They had been doing that a lot recently.

Looking at each other and then looking away with flushed cheeks.

They had crossed another pivotal part in their relationship and regardless of their individual fears they both felt just a little closer than before.

Buddy raised an eyebrow at the blushing couple. "So you ready for today's class Rikku?" He asked trying to get back into the conversation.

"Mhm." Rikku nodded. "We're doing finger-painting today!"

"Finger-painting?" Paine raised an eyebrow. "What are you three?"

Rikku chuckled. "No, but it's really fun. And I do recall a certain someone thinking my finger painting was a work of art not too long ago."

Paine laughed remembering the attic room floor. "Well…"

"We should get going then." Buddy motioned to the exit. Class did start in a few minutes, but it wasn't that far of a walk. He just wanted some time to talk to Rikku, just the two of them. She seemed to like him more when it was just the two of them.

"Oh, you're right!" Rikku tuned to Paine and puckered her lips goofily to blow her a kiss. "Bye, my dear." She stood with Buddy. "Bye Yunie, bye Tidus."

"See you guys!"

"Bye Rikku."

"You'll stop by later before leaving right?" Paine asked as she looked up.

Rikku nodded. "I'll bring you dinner, how's that sound?" She squeezed Paine's shoulder and smiled when Paine agreed. "Okay."

Paine watched them go and then turned around toward the couple. "I don't like him."

Yuna and Tidus exchanged knowing looks. "We know." They said in unison.

##

"So Tidus was telling me about that fashion show…"

"Yeah." Rikku nodded as she dipped her finger into the red. "I've gotten to see some of the pieces, really pretty stuff, I'm super excited."

"Are you going with Paine?" He asked dipping his thumb into the green.

"Paine's walking in the show."

Buddy seemed surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah." Rikku chuckled. "You seem surprised."

"Well I mean... A little..."

Rikku smiled to herself as she used her pinky finger to dip it into the white and swirled it in her palm to make pink. "You should come."

"Yeah?" Buddy asked hopefully. "Yeah I'll be there."

"Neat, it's kinda semi formalish."

"Oh so, bowtie?"

"Mhm."

Buddy nodded. "Paine won't mind? I get the impression that she doesn't really like me. I mean I'd be threatened too but."

Rikku shook her head. "Buddy." Her tone was warning.

"Alright alright. So um, who are you going with?"

"My hubby."

Buddy grew confused. "Which is who?"

"Baralai Montgomery."

"Does Paine know?"

"They grew up together. Of course she knows."

Buddy paused in confusion. Did they have an open relationship? "Well you'll need a back up date y'know…"

"Tidus is my backup."

"Well you'll need a back up for your back up."

Rikku chuckled and dipped her fingers in the bucket of water between them. "If for some crazy reason Lai can't go, AND Tidus can't go, then I guess I'll go with you."

"Yes!"

Rikku laughed.

##

She made sure no one was around before facing Paine.

"Hi."

"Hey."

They shared their first kiss on the lips in days.

"We can go to the employee break room." Paine motioned down the hall near the student lockers. "Tidus had his dinner break already."

"Are you sure I'm allowed in there?" Rikku asked cutely as she trailed a step behind Paine and looked around.

"No one else is here." Paine held the door open for her.

The employee break room at the NLU rec-center was nothing special. There were three round tables with a few plain chairs placed around them, a small kitchenette, and the area where you punched in your times. Paine pulled out a chair for Rikku and then pulled up one to sit beside her.

Rikku reached for the large brown paper bag she had been carrying and pulled out a few napkins before taking out two plastic containers. "I got us burritos and chips." Rikku had decided that since they hardly saw each other during the week it would be nice to have dinner together once and a while. This was her second time doing it, the first time she had surprised Paine with food she had made while texting Gippal for ideas, Paine had seemed extremely grateful. "Pork and chicken, I didn't know which one you wanted."

"You'll eat the pork?"

Rikku shrugged. "Yeah, that's fine."

Paine pulled the foil wrapped burrito with the C sticker toward herself and then reached for a couple napkins. She rested a hand on the back of Rikku's chair and looked at her. "Thank you."

Rikku smiled and scooted her chair closer to Paine's and leaned forward to kiss her. "You're welcome Pypo." They kissed again. "Are you feeling hungry?" Rikku asked as she set about opening the small plastic containers with the corn chips, sour cream, salsa, and guacamole.

Paine shook her head no as she unwrapped her burrito. "But I know I've barely eaten today." She suddenly stood. "Do you want water?"

Rikku looked up with chubby cheeks full of burrito already. Paine just laughed and went to the water dispenser and got them two cups. Rikku swallowed her food and chuckled. "Thanks."

Paine walked over and placed the small cups down. "Mhm."

"How's life Dr. P?" Rikku asked after wiping he mouth with a napkin. She bought the food from this really amazing take away place near Lulu and Wakka's new apartment and was thoroughly enjoying it, but she had to remember the real reason why she was here, and that was to spend time with her girlfriend.

Paine shrugged lightly. "I wish I knew."

"You haven't…?"

She shook her head. "No…." And that was the truth.

Rikku nodded. "Have you given any thought into how you're going to handle things?"

Paine sighed a little. "Martha thinks I should try meditating until my next appointment… She taught me breathing exercises and everything."

"You? Meditate?"

Paine looked up from dipping a corn chip into some salsa. "You don't think I can do it?"

"Every time we have to wait somewhere you are good for about five minutes, and then you start to squirm and glance at me for attention."

Paine huffed. "I don't like waiting for things like that, this would be different."

Rikku took a sip of her water. "You're sitting." She picked up a chip. "And waiting for clarity or tranquility or whatever right? Sounds the same to me."

"You know how I know I can do it?"

Rikku swallowed her food. "How?"

"Because I'm able to date you." She joked. "Shit, maybe what I _do_ need is some peace and quiet."

"Oh that's funny; well I see you aren't too bummed to crack jokes." Rikku shook her head in an amused way.

"I did look up some stuff on that medication though…" Paine spoke up after a few moments of silence.

Rikku glanced at her. "What do you think?"

"Well compared to other drugs of its kind it has a very low addiction rate. There are some other risk factors like nose bleeds and minor things, but I get those things anyways. I didn't see anything to wrong with it except it cost a kidney."

"Yeah, which you kinda need since your other one is a little handicapped."

Paine chuckled at that. "I see Elma tomorrow."

"You haven't been in pain or anything; I think it should go well."

Paine nodded. "I have to get clearance to work as an instructor too remember? Instructors get more pay too."

"Are you going back to see Dr. Vice soon?"

Paine nodded. "I made an appointment this afternoon to talk with him about the drug."

"Do you want me to come with you again?" Rikku asked as she picked up her burrito. She waited for Paine to answer before taking a bite.

"I'm okay babe, you can come if you like though. It's for sometime next week; the paper is in my bag somewhere." She wiped her fingers clean before reaching for her water. "How's home?"

"Besides Pops futzing around doing who knows what, it's pretty quiet, it's always pretty quiet."

"He still goes to work?"

"Yeah, but I think it's just to see Leblanc, they still have a lot of cases open together."

"How is she in class…If you're even going."

Rikku gave Paine a look. "I'm going."

"Alright."

"She's been the same. I mean I can't say I ever liked her too much. But I never hated her y'know?"

"Does it feel weird with her not around?"

"Yeah it does. I mean she's been around for a little while. I was convinced Pops was going to pop the question."

"Wakka showed me the ring while I was in the hospital. I spoke to him the other day and he says he's going to ask Lulu on Christmas."

"Aw." Rikku brightened. "I'm so excited for them."

Paine chuckled. "Never been to a wedding…" She admitted as she scooped up some guacamole on a chip. "Hear it's a hell of a party though."

Rikku nodded. "The Moore's only daughter is getting married. I think it will be nuts!"

"If they make up by then." Paine reminded her.

Rikku deflated. "Oh yeah… Yeah they really need to. I mean Wakka loves Lulu, and he's trying." Rikku shook her head with frustration. "Yunie and I are going to find out what the sex is this weekend since he's working and Lulu doesn't want to go alone."

"That's nice of you guys."

Rikku nodded "Yeah." She picked up her burrito and then paused. "I'm excited to get all dressed up tomorrow night to see you walk."

Paine smiled a little. "I'm a bit nervous."

"Well don't worry; if you trip it's only in front of the entire school of fashion, about a fourth of the university population, and some news crews…" Rikku shrugged and took a bite.

Paine just stared at her. "This shit is going to be on TV?"

Rikku chuckled. "I don't know, but it shouldn't matter, you're badass right?"

Paine looked back to her food. "You're just an ass."

Rikku laughed.

##

"When will they want to take it out?" Paine asked as she picked up her blue shirt to put it back on. It was Friday afternoon and she was at her monthly check up.

Elma wrote down a few things. "Probably over the winter break. It will give you time to heal." Elma nodded and took a seat on the doctor's stool. She motioned for Paine to sit back down. "I haven't seen you in at least a month."

"Well that's because you're never home."

"I could say the same for you."

Paine nodded. "You could."

"Tell me about this fashion show."

Paine thought about the last two weeks. "Tomorrow night, don't tell anyone but I'm actually looking forward to it."

Elma smiled. "Who knew a tom boy like you would like playing dress up."

Paine chuckled. "I definitely didn't. Yuna's great though, you remember her right?"

Elma nodded. "Rikku's…sister?"

"Cousin, Rikku has an older brother though."

"How could I not know about Kirill Bayla." Elma sighed dreamily.

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Really, Em?"

"You and I could be sisters you know."

Paine laughed. "Get outta here, you like him?"

"He's attractive is all I'm saying."

"Don't let Gippal hear you saying that."

Elma huffed. "Gippal…" She pressed the point of her pen down until the ink from it bled a little. "Gippal needs to relax."

"Rikku told me about how you sleep in the same bed."

"There are mice in my room."

"You're full of shit."

"They've taken over, it's ridiculous."

"How come there are none in mine then? I live right across the hall."

Elma shrugged and Paine laughed.

Elma looked away. "I hope you trip tomorrow night."

Paine smirked. "I hope you and Gippal have five kids, so you can name them after the five mother sauces."

She flipped Paine's chart closed. "We're done here."

"Lil Béchamel…"

"Out Kerrigan."

Paine hopped off the examination table with a laugh, and patted Elma on the shoulder. "See yuh Em."

Elma chuckled but then fell serious when she remembered something. "I'll get back to you sometime this weekend about that thing."

Paine paused at the door. "Yeah, thank you."

"Try and take it easy until then."

"I will."

##

She pulled into the parking lot the next morning and picked up her cell phone when it began to ring. "Paine."

"It's a boy!"

"Hello?"

"It's a boy Paine!"

Paine chuckled. "Awesome."

"Ah! He's gonna be a little cutie!"

"Geez you would think you were having the kid or something." Paine laughed Rikku sounded like she was going to burst with excitement.

"I'm gonna spoil him so much. Ugh! I can't frickin wait!"

Paine laughed more. "I hope you're not driving."

"I'm on the highway actually, but don't worry, you're on speaker on my lap."

"Not a bad place to be." Paine smirked.

Someone cleared their throat. "Hi Paine."

Paine blushed. "Oh, hey Yuna."

"You ready for tonight?"

"For the most part, yeah."

Rikku chuckled. "Yunie and I are headed to pick up some last minute things near the port warehouses. We just dropped Lulu off."

"Nice, so everything looks good though? With the baby? Wakka has been texting me like a lunatic about possible complications. Elma already blocked his number."

Yuna could be heard laughing.

"Yeah Pypo, he's healthy and everything, he has Lulu's nose."

"We don't know that." Yuna piped up.

"We so do. Trust me I know noses okay Yunie? Gosh." Rikku chuckled. "Well I can't wait to see you tonight, Pai." Rikku spoke to her phone as she drove. "We're all still going to go out after right?"

"Yeah we'll all go and get drinks."

"Will you buy me a drink baby?" Rikku asked in a flirtatious manner.

"Well I kind of have to Rikku you're not 21." Paine said missing it completely.

Yuna laughed.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You see what I deal with?" She asked Yuna. "Will you call me when you get out?" She knew Paine had to be heading to therapy right now.

Paine nodded and stepped out of the car. She paused and looked around her when she heard something, but she was alone in the parking lot and it was a bright fall morning. She shook her head. "Yes, I will."

"Alright, bye Pypo."

"Bye Babe, Bye Yuna."

"Bye Paine, see you tonight!"

**AN: This chapter is way long, but I thought that would make up for the update speed. That sound fair enough? Lol Tell me what you think!**

**KathleenDee**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two**

Paine held Rikku closer.

Rikku couldn't even take it, if you asked her what song they were dancing to she wouldn't be able to tell you. "Paine."

Paine chuckled lowly in her ear. "I told you I don't dance."

Rikku had to laugh at that. They had already had a few drinks and that's all it really took for Paine these days. Rikku had finally managed to whine loud enough for Paine to get up and dance with her. "Oh I'm not complaining." She leaned her head over her shoulder so Paine could hear her over the loud music in Taboo.

"You look amazing tonight." Paine mumbled as they moved.

Rikku laughed and cupped Paine's cheek with her left hand. "I like you drunk."

##

"Are you calm?"

Paine was bent over the sink splashing her face. "No I'm not fucking calm."

"Paine—"

"Who invited him anyway?"

"I did."

Paine huffed. "Course you did."

Rikku put her hands on her hips. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Paine turned the water off. "Nothing."

"Are you sure? Because it sounded like you had something on your mind."

Paine walked over to the hand dryer and knocked it with her elbow to turn it on. "I have nothing to fucking say."

Now they were both drunk.

"He was helping me find my earring!"

"Oh yea? You drop it down your shirt 'cause that's where he was looking!"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You're being paranoid."

Paine just gave Rikku a look.

Rikku sighed and put her weapons down. They were having such a good time. She just wanted to enjoy it with her friends. "Pypo…" She took a few careful steps closer to Paine.

Paine let the smaller woman wrap her arms around her torso. She sighed when Rikku placed a tiny kiss on her chin. "What?"

"He's going to like who he likes, but there is nothing in all of Spira that would change my mind about us." She placed another little kiss on the corner of Paine's mouth. "Okay?"

Paine looked away from her. "He was looking down your shirt…" Words could not describe how badly she wanted to beat his head in.

Him being Buddy of course.

Rikku laughed. "You wanna peek?"

Paine found herself smirking. "No."

Rikku blinked. "What? Why?"

"I'll wait for my show."

"Ah." Rikku nodded slowly. " I don't know about a show... There is that twenty four hour strip club…"

"With the stripper who looked like you."

"But wasn't." Rikku reminded.

Paine laughed "Close enough."

Rikku playfully hit her arm. "Paine."

Paine finally put her arms around Rikku. "Nah, she didn't have your smile, your eyes."

Rikku smiled and rubbed Paine's arm. "Will you calm down for me please?"

Paine sighed. "I will try."

"Let's go dance, don't worry about him."

"Fine." Paine unwrapped her arms from around Rikku when a group of women walked in. Paine motioned to the door. "But I swear if he gets any ideas I'll…"

"I just had to warn him."

"Did you warn him about my black belt? Did you warn him about that?"

Rikku laughed.

##

Rikku stumbled into the den singing. "When sober girls around me they be acting like they drunnnkk…."

Tidus and Yuna shuffled in after her. Leaving Paine to try and be the responsible one and lock the front door behind them, but she was just as, if not more wasted than the rest of them.

"It's cold in here…" Rikku stopped her song and hugged herself. "Paine! Paine!"

"What!"

She paused. "Don't talk to me like that." She sniffled.

Paine staggered into the room. "_Please_ shut up." She was getting a headache with all Rikku's singing.

"No you shut up!"

"Both of you just shut up." Tidus said holding his head. He was so gone that he was getting flashes of hang over already.

"I'm cold and you don't even care!" Rikku crossed her arms and plopped down in the reclining chair.

Paine rolled her eyes. "That's why you're wearing my jacket right now?"

"Well you cared before but now you don't." Rikku turned her head and couldn't help the chuckle coming from out of her. "Yunie's wasted. Look." She pointed a swaying finger to Yuna who seemed to be just enjoying life in her own world.

"Yuna?" Tidus nudged her.

"Oh hey." She turned to face her boyfriend with a smile. "Heeey."

Paine got over to Rikku and motioned for her to stand up. The blonde stood and was about to say something about Paine not taking off her shoes until she found herself being pulled back down onto her lap.

Paine wrapped her arms around her. "Stay still."

Rikku chuckled. "I am still."

Paine shook her head lightly. "I guess I am pretty fucked up then, because this room is moving…" Paine rested her head on Rikku's back as if it were a pillow.

Rikku laughed and wrapped her arms around Paine's. "We can be drunk together!"

"We are already drunk together." Paine chuckled into the back of Rikku's shoulder.

"We can be not together and not drunk…. But then I'd miss you." Rikku reasoned. "We can be together and not drunk… but then, then you wouldn't have danced with me."

"I would have."

"We can be possibly apart but still together, and sober, yet drunk off our feelings!"

"Alright." Paine laughed. "Enough."

"It was like amazing…" Rikku heard Yuna tell Tidus.

"Are you guys talking about sex?"

Yuna chuckled. "Nooooo Rikku, gosh."

"Well you should." She turned around to look at Paine. "We should talk about it. It's fun and funny."

Tidus chuckled as Rikku squirmed around on Paine's lap. Paine just looked too drunk to care. He turned to look somewhere randomly in the room. Hell Paine was getting more than he was! "I need to get laid. Ow!" Yuna had just hit him. "What was that for?"

"You do get laid."

"Oooh Yunie!" Rikku cheered.

"I don't get any." Paine mumbled checking Rikku's hip lightly with an open palm.

Rikku turned to look at her again. "Whaa? Are you kidding me? I'm so hot; you should cum every time you see me!"

Cid cleared his throat.

Rikku looked up into the doorway at her father in his boxers and sleeping shirt. "Pops! Join us; we were just talking about the sexiness that runs in the Bayla gene, and how we're so irre..irresis… hot!"

Paine straightened up as best as she could with Rikku in her lap. "What she means is that um… She means that, I don't…when I…"

Rikku and Yuna burst out into laughter.

"Painnne you're so funny." Yuna shook her head.

"I take it you all had a good night?"

"Oh yeah Mr. Bayla." Tidus nodded. "Say, isn't Bayla a girl's name?"

"It is that's what I was sayin'" Rikku turned to Paine again. "We should make a baby."

"What!" Paine asked so loudly that even Cid had to laugh.

"Bayla Bayla."

"Why not Bayla Kerrigan?" Yuna asked.

Cid sighed and went into the kitchen. Was he getting old or what?

"Kerrigan is a strong name…" Tidus slammed his fist into his palm and then regretted it. "Ow."

"Baby just…Stop talking." Paine shook her head and held Rikku closer.

Rikku giggled. "I'm serious. Bayla Kerrigan Bayla…."

"What if it's a boy?" Yuna asked.

"Kerrigan Bayla…Bayla?" Rikku rubbed her chin.

Paine shook her head. "No babies."

"What? Why not?"

"You wanted to buy forty dollar socks last week. I can't afford you, _and_ a baby!"

Tidus and Yuna laughed at how sad Rikku looked.

"You're making me choose!"

"Socks or a kid, yes, pick one." Paine shook her head.

"Damn….The socks would keep me warm…."

"Babies poop all the time." Tidus nodded.

"Aw, but they are adorable Rikku."

Rikku pretended to weigh them on a scale. "Mmmm socks!"

Paine laughed. "Unbelievable."

##

It hurt to open her eyes. "Holy shoopuf." Rikku groaned into the blanket. She could feel her blood pulsing lightly in her head and felt like she had just gotten out off a roller coaster, minus the fun and excited feeling. Rikku struggled to give her body direction. She managed to be able to turn onto her side without breaking her brain. She laughed quietly at Paine, who was lying beside her, still very much asleep. The darker haired woman was lying on her back with an arm haphazardly tossed to the side and the other resting on her stomach over the covers. She was going to let Paine just sleep but then she noticed the clock. "Baby." She spoke and winced at how she sounded. Her voice was scratchy and dry. Paine stirred a little. "Baby."

"Hm?"

"It's five in the afternoon." Rikku rubbed her nose gently and went back to resting her head on the pillow. "Why aren't you awake yet?" She asked, she loved messing with Paine when she was half asleep.

"Cause." Paine sighed out. Her voice was a little squeaky. "Fuck…" She groaned. Rikku supposed the hangover had finally hit her. She rolled over onto her stomach and put her head in the pillow. Rikku laughed and then began to sniffle before falling quiet. "Paine."

Paine exhaled heavily. "Rikku."

"What happened last night?"

Paine coughed a moment and then tried to steady her brain. Her voice was hoarse and if Rikku were feeling better she might even think sexy. But she wasn't, she was feeling like maybe someone might have ran her over last night and she had been too drunk to remember to go to the hospital. "We fuckin' went out after the show babe." Paine cleared her throat a familiar feeling sinking over her.

"Yeah but I don't remember anything after you and I dancing…."

Paine rubbed at her temples. "I don't know." She mumbled.

Rikku watched Paine for a moment and decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. She mumbled something in Al bhed as she dragged her body across the bed and began to get up.

"What are you doing?" Paine asked

"You know you have to keep drinking water, especially now…" Rikku swayed a little on her feet. "I'm still flippin' drunk…" She muttered. Paine chuckled lightly as she watched Rikku try to regain motor control in her boy shorts and a tank top. Paine squinted at the familiar looking article.

"You're wearing my shirt."

"Huh?" Rikku had made it half way to the bathroom. She looked down at what she was wearing and then looked back up at Paine.

"What?" Paine asked dryly as she watched recognition pass over the blonde's slightly puffy features. Rikku moved towards the bed and pulled the blanket from on Paine. "Hey what the fuck?" Paine then looked down to what she was wearing. Rikku began to giggle. "What in Yevon's name…" She looked up from the cutie pajamas only Rikku would own. "You did this." She croaked.

Rikku was still laughing. "Fryd yna oui dymgehk ypuid? You look cute."

Paine groaned and pulled the blanket back over herself. "Why?" Was all she could think to ask.

Rikku chuckled. "The pants are a little short though." She turned on the bathroom light and went into the medicine cabinet to get a cup. She frowned when she heard Paine coughing. "Are you sick?"

Paine laid her head back onto the bed and sighed heavily. "I don't know." She rubbed her hands to her face to try and release some of the pressure building up in her sinuses.

"Drink this." Rikku said returning with two small cups. They drank the water and took their medicine before Rikku crawled back into bed. "Baby, I'm hurting all over, seriously what happened?" Rikku asked turning to Paine who was curled up in on herself in Rikku's light pink pajama top and bottoms. She looked so innocent in them, like maybe that's what she would have looked like as a kid, minus the puffy eyes and slightly red nose of course.

Paine cleared her throat. "You told me you wanted us to make babies." She remembered.

Rikku put a hand to her face and laughed. "What did you say? No?"

Paine nodded.

"How did I know?"

"You only wanted one so you could name her Bayla Bayla." Rikku laughed some more and Paine smiled a little. "But it's okay because you choose socks over it anyway." Rikku hummed lightly in acknowledgment. Paine chuckled to herself remembering more and more of the previous night. "Yuna was pretty drunk too. You guys were funny." Paine sniffled and then closed her eyes deciding to leave out the little fight they had at the club. "I feel like shit."

Rikku turned so she was facing Paine. She rubbed her shoulder but Paine pushed her hand away.

"I don't wanna get you sick."

She looked so small and sad curled up like that though. Rikku closed the distance between them and cuddled Paine anyway.

##

"Yeah we're sick as hell…. Uhuh… Alright thanks Teedus. Bye." Paine hung up her cell.

"Pai…"

Paine turned and watched as Rikku came into the den Monday morning dragging her blanket behind her. Her hair was up in a full ponytail and her usually vibrant eyes were a pale green. She was dressed in Paine's hoody and orange short shorts.

Paine's heart sunk a little.

She really didn't look good.

"Here, I set up the couch." Paine motioned to the couch with all the pillows and blankets. Rikku nodded lightly and went to sit on it.

"Who was that?" She asked quietly as she eased herself down. Everything hurt her head, her nose, her ears, her toes, everything.

"Tidus, he's gonna cover my shift today, he says feel better." She came over to sit beside Rikku. "Yuna called your phone when you were in the shower." Paine pulled the hood on her hoody over Rikku's head for her.

"Did you pick up?" Rikku rasped.

"I was on the phone with someone in my class to get notes." Paine put her arm around Rikku and the blonde quickly leaned into her for some sort of comfort.

"Oh."

Paine coughed quietly. "Are you feeling a little better?"

"No."

"You wanna sleep some more?"

"No." Rikku shook her head on Paine's shoulder and then squirmed. "I'm gonna miss Art today…."

Paine rubbed her back gently as she spoke. "You don't want to get everyone else sick… Except maybe Buddy… Maybe you _should_ go to class."

Rikku chuckled lightly. "You're so mean."

"I'm sorry I got you sick." Paine mumbled before kissing her gently on her fevered forehead.

Rikku rested a hand on Paine's thigh. "It's my own fault, but I knew you wanted cuddles 'cause you weren't feeling good so…" She coughed and whined a little at the sting developing in the back of her throat. "The things I do for you."

Paine smiled lightly. "I'll take care of you."

"You're sick too."

"Yeah but you need me, so I'm gonna do it."

Rikku nodded and closed her eyes. "Okay."

By mid day the two had grown restless.

"It's not going to fucking work." Paine mumbled before blowing her nose in a tissue.

"For someone so smart you're so stupid."

"Fine, you'll just ruin it."

"It's going to work."

"Doubt it."

Rikku was going to say something, but she could feel her throat protest. She sighed heavily and picked up the last couch cushion. Glancing over at Paine's doubt filled expression made her all the more determined. She moved the cushion and looked for the right place to put it. "Here." She said as she wedged it between the foundation cushion and the sheet like ceiling of their couch castle. "See?" Rikku motioned to it. Just then Paine's cell phone on the coffee table began to buzz.

Paine shrugged at Rikku and reached to pick it up. She coughed. "Paine." She watched as Rikku crawled into the castle they had made with all the furniture they could find. She coughed again."Who? Oh… Yeah." She couldn't help but laugh when Rikku sneezed and caused the entire thing to collapse in on her. "I'm sorry, yes… I've got a bit of a cold. I didn't think you would…Oh….Alright yeah, bye."

"Who was that?" Rikku asked, still sitting under the fallen sheets.

Paine laughed a little. "No one."

"You're lying to me." Rikku moved her hands about imitating a ghost. "No one lies to the great ghost of Bayladen."

"Stop." Paine laughed more. It hurt to laugh. She walked over to Rikku and pulled the sheet off of her head. "Just some guy."

Rikku got all wide eyed. "Are you cheating on me?"

"With a man Rikku? You're sick and delusional." Paine shook her head and sat with Rikku among the ruble. "He was there at the fashion show. You're cousin broke my privacy rights and gave him my number."

Rikku giggled. "Ah Yunie."

"He works downtown for this agency."

"A modeling one?"

Paine nodded. "Just ten more nude photos and I'll be able to buy all the jelly beans in the world." Rikku made a face and then began to laugh, and then began to cough. Paine patted her on the back. "You ready for more medicine baby?" Rikku just groaned in response. Paine nodded and took a minute to summon the strength to get up to go into the kitchen. When she came back Rikku was passed out on the couch curled up in a little ball. She had just been passing out like that for a while now and Paine was growing worried. She was obviously sicker than her, and she felt really bad for being the cause of it.

Paine set about cleaning up the many pillows and cushions they used to build their castle while Rikku napped. She thought back to the man at the fashion show, how he seemed so interested, she wouldn't have cared if he hadn't mentioned a check. She honestly could use the money, she even asked Yuna about the agency and the brunette had backed him up. They were legit, meaning they had to pay legit too. What was one other fashion show if she got a check from it? She'd be able to pay off some bills, buy that one textbook, get everyone gifts… Pay for the medication. Paine still had to go see Dr. Vice about the medication; this had been the longest she had gone in a while without any symptoms…

Thinking about it made her feel funny, so Paine tried not to think about it.

Once done with cleaning, Paine sat down on the ground with her back to the couch where Rikku was sleeping. The cute little noises the blonde made in her sleep comforted her in a way. She still didn't know what was going to happen, but she did have Rikku.

She knew because Rikku had told her so before falling asleep Sunday morning. Sure she was still drunk, but Paine knew sincerity when she heard it. There was just so much riding on everything now. She had more of a reason, so there were more consequences to deal with if she didn't do what she had to.

It was just a lot of pressure. Maybe the normal amount, how would Paine know anyway? Even after getting clean she was able to coast through life by keeping the most important thing in check; her emotions. That all changed when she let Rikku in, it felt amazing sometimes, and then there were other times, times that had Paine wondering if maybe something else slipped in while Rikku was coming in.

Was it reality?

Paine closed her eyes and tried to clear her head. There was a sound at the door just then. Paine looked into the hall quickly and then at Rikku to make sure the sound didn't wake her. When satisfied Paine got up and went to open it.

Leblanc blinked at Paine's appearance. She was wearing baggy sweat pants and a random white shirt. Her hair wasn't styled like it normally was but parted and slicked back save for her bangs. "What the hell did you do?"

"Why are you here?" Paine asked trying to ignore the cold breeze that snuck into the house.

"I." Leblanc waved her keys around. "Have keys, and you do not. Why are you here? Don't tell me you broke in again."

Leblanc had been the one at the house when Paine arrived to get the juicer.

Paine rolled her eyes. "Rikku and I are sick."

"That would explain why she wasn't in class today." Leblanc paused as if in thought. "Move aside."

Paine glared at the woman as she was nudged aside. "You saw what I did to your buddy right?" She asked as she followed the well dressed social worker slash lawyer inside the house.

Leblanc shook her head. "He had it coming. Where is Rikku Milan?"

Paine motioned toward the den. "She's sleeping."

"Hm." Leblanc nodded. She went through her designer bag and pulled out another cloth bag and shook it open. Paine watched as she moved throughout the small foyer taking things. "A few years back she got ill, Cid and Braska were out of town…." She examined one of the house phones sitting on the hook. Paine raised an eyebrow as she took that too. "She only began to feel better after the antibiotics… She doesn't get sick much but when she does it's simply horrifying to watch." Paine followed her into the kitchen and watched her open a few drawers. "She enjoys lemon chicken noodle soup. Some al bhed broth with it though. The little brat had me looking all over for it." She tossed a wine key into the sack.

"Lemon chicken noodle…" It sounded odd enough for Rikku to like it. "The lemons…"

"Oh you just squeeze the lemon juice in at the end."

"Oh."

"Right well anyway, it's the quietest I've ever seen her."

Paine nodded. "Yeah it's weird… Are you really going to take the toaster?"

Leblanc stared at it a second. "You think I should come back for it later?"

"Are you and Braska a thing? Rikku wants to know."

"Braska and I?" Leblanc raised a dark blonde eyebrow. "Oh no no no."

"They miss you."

"Whom?"

"Cid and Rikku."

Leblanc only huffed. "I see you've made yourself comfortable here." She changed the subject.

"I have a drawer."

Leblanc seemed impressed. "Moving on up are we?"

"It's not like that."

Leblanc put up her hand. "Relax."

Paine shrugged. "Lock the door when you leave." She made her way back into the den and sat down on the space Rikku left behind. She sighed and took the medicine meant for Rikku before getting up and falling asleep in the recliner.

She woke up to someone pushing up on her. Paine opened her eyes and found that Rikku had managed to shimmy into the large chair with her and was covering them up with a blanket. Paine smiled softly at her, she was so cute when she wanted to be, but as the blonde cuddled close Paine could feel how hot her body was. She was definitely in a fever.

"This is how we got sick in the first place."

Rikku cleared her throat pathetically. "I don't feel good." She mumbled. "I just wanna lay with you okay?"

Paine nodded and wrapped an arm around Rikku's back. "Okay."

##

Paine woke to the delicious aroma of something cooking. Rikku was also getting up quickly so she didn't sneeze on her.

"Bless you." Paine mumbled as she sat up in the chair and rubbed her face. "Is your dad home or something?"

Rikku shrugged. "Dunno."

Paine examined her. Although she herself was feeling a little better, Rikku only looked to be getting worse. "I wanna take you to the clinic."

Rikku shuffled out of the room without a word and somehow Paine knew that it meant that she was going to get ready.

Paine got out of her seat and went into the kitchen. She furrowed a brow at Leblanc in an apron standing over a large stock pot. "I thought you were leaving."

"Well I was darling, but then you went to sleep, this thing takes time to make. You should have started it around noon." She shook her head at Paine's laziness.

Paine came closer and felt her sinuses clear as the hot steam from the familiar smelling broth filled her nostrils. "Gippal drinks this broth when he's sick."

"Were you not paying attention when I said it was Al bhed?" She swatted Paine away. "Move."

Paine huffed. "We're going to the clinic."

"Okay."

Paine stood there for a second and then went upstairs where she found Rikku in her room laying out clothes on her bed. She motioned to them when she noticed Paine.

Paine looked down at her clothes. "As long as it's not pink…"

"I'm going to shower again." Rikku just felt so ill, she needed to stand under some hot water again if she were going to make it out there in the real world without collapsing.

"Don't get your hair wet, its cold outside." Paine frowned when she got no response. Rikku just entered the bathroom and closed the door. A few second later she could hear the water turning on.

##

Rikku got into the passenger's seat and buckled her seatbelt. She was wearing one of her own hoodys now; it was the white version of Paine's with blue and yellow NLU letters and long annoying drawstrings. She hardly ever wore it. She was also wearing a light purple beanie with her ponytail pulled into a bun and hidden. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" Paine asked as she got into the driver's side and closed the door quickly so the air wouldn't bother them.

"Can we stop and get soup?" She sniffled.

Paine paused. "You can't smell can you?"

"No." She answered cutely.

"Leblanc is making you soup,"

"Leblanc is here?"

Paine motioned to her car sitting next to Rikku's. "Yeah, look. She came to get her stuff but I guess decided to make you soup."

"Us."

Paine chuckled softly. "I'm not as sick as you are."

"Well you'll pretend to be to get seconds, this soup is the best!" Rikku sighed when her voice broke and Paine laughed a little. "I know I know." She sounded horrible.

"It's okay, let's just go and get you looked at so I can stop worrying."

The car ride was quiet for a while before Rikku remembered something. "So what did that man say?"

Paine shook her head with a small smile. "That man?"

Rikku shrugged. "The modeling agency."

"He said he would call back when I was feeling better."

"Did I tell you how amazing you were the other night?"

"Yeah, about a million times on our way home from the club." Paine shook her head remembering the night a little clearer than before.

"We were drunks."

"We were."

"Yunie especially, what a lush huh?"

Paine laughed and glanced at Rikku. "You feeling better, Princess?"

"A little, I think it's because I know I'm getting soup."

"Souppp" Paine imitated Rikku cutely.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better after that nap." She sniffled. "My nose is just all fucked up though."

"It's cute and red."

"Ha."

Rikku motioned to her phone. "Brother says hi."

"You guys talking?"

Rikku nodded. "He says that he'll be here for Harvest dinner, which is gonna be fun."

Paine stopped at a red light. "Yeah about that, I mean I know you have your family stuff, but I was wondering if you wanted to come by us later at night?"

Rikku brightened. "Are you inviting me to Harvest Pai?"

"No…I'm inviting you over on a particular night, that just so happens to be Harvest dinner…" Paine shrugged. "There might be food, I don't know."

Rikku just smiled at her. "You dating me or something?" She teased.

Paine smiled a little, glad that Rikku was feeling at least well enough to tease. "Nope."

##

"Here yuh go, hot off the presses." He dropped the folder down in front of her. "Seems like they got up to some partying over the weekend."

She pulled the photos out eagerly. "So they're together…" She had already concluded this a week ago just from all the evidence she had. The picture she was looking at showed the duo, both wearing silly grins. Paine had her arms wrapped around the shorter woman's waist as the blonde seemed to be trying to kiss her. Paine was smiling and pulling her face away. She noticed the other couple holding hands and smiling at the two. The next picture was of the two looking like hell standing near what she assumed was Paine's car. The blonde was holding a prescription bag while Paine opened the door for her.

"Yes… Pretty hot couple, they were kis—" He stopped when she sent him a glare.

She stood from her chair. "I pay you to take pictures, not ogle them."

"What's the difference in what you're doing?" He asked boldly.

She paused. "I…" She straightened herself up. "You're services are no longer needed Mr. Cameron." She said before walking out. She was done hearing his opinion on the matter. She had more than enough evidence.

Cam stood there dumbfounded wondering how he just managed to get his first steady client in months to fire him.

##

"Why are you doing this to us?" Rikku whined.

Paine shook her head. "I'm not doing anything!"

"You're leaving me to fend for myself…."

"You're twenty years old."

"I'm fragile!"

Paine rolled her eyes but smiled down at the mess of blonde curls and weepy green eyes that was her girlfriend. Rikku was currently bundled up under a mountain of covers on her bed. Her small hand had a firm grasp on Paine's and she was pouting.

"I have to go, Rikks." Paine tried again.

It was Tuesday morning, and although the medicine they got at the clinic had Rikku feeling a little better, she was still sick enough to stay home.

"Dr. P."

"Rikku."

"Pai."

"Rikku."

"Pypo...Baby"

Paine laughed. She was being so cute right now, how could anyone want to leave? "I have class, work…"

"Don't leave me. I can't take it." Rikku's little smiled betrayed her though and Paine leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. Rikku finally let go her hand and sighed. "Fine leave, I don't even like you that much anyway."

Paine chuckled and picked up her messenger bag. "I'll text you. Feel better Okay?"

"Yeah yeah yeah." She smiled at Paine though and waved a little as she watched her leave the room. Rikku rested her head back on the pillow and blew out a puff of air.

She hated being sick.

##

"Where's Rikku?"

It was the third person to ask her where Rikku was who she didn't know.

Paine examined the chubby boy carefully. "She's sick."

"Oh, well tell her I said to feel better!"

Paine nodded slowly and Yuna just chuckled. The two were walking toward the rec-center. Paine had to start working and Yuna had to take Tidus on his lunch break, which really only meant that he would speed to his house to check the pH of his fish tank.

"That's Ormi."

"What's an Ormi… Is that like an Orgy?"

Yuna laughed. "He and Rikku have Leblanc's class together, and I think one other one."

"I just didn't realize she was so popular." Paine shrugged.

"A lot of people know Rikku, she just doesn't know all of them…"

"Hm."

"I guess you too now huh?"

Paine thought about it. "I suppose."

##

"Crap…Crap…Crap…" Rikku sighed heavily and turned off the TV. She lay back in her bed and sighed again. "Aggrrhh."

"Are you ill Rikku Milan?"

Rikku picked her head up quickly and squinted. "Yevon I'm losing it…"

"We can make lemon chicken noodle…"

"Ma?" Rikku rubbed her eyes and looked at the woman before her. "Sus?"

She nodded. "Let me feel your head."

Rikku scooted away from her. "You're... dead."

She seemed put off. "Well that doesn't mean I can't feel temperature difference." She was wearing what she was wearing the night she died. Her hair was down in the same fashion too. Every last detail was as Rikku remembered it to be.

"E sicd pa celgan dryh E druikrd…" She watched carefully as the woman took a seat on the edge of the bed beside her. "Don't touch me."

She frowned. "Okay Milan."

"What are you doing in my room?"

"Checking up on you. Your father told me you were sick."

"Pops?"

"He stopped by the other day. He looks a mess."

Rikku shook her head lightly. "Oh… I was planning on… I almost forgot."

Her mother died twelve years ago on Friday.

"That's good isn't it? It means you are moving on."

Rikku didn't know if she sounded sad about it or not. She also didn't know why she was even having this conversation with a dead woman, _her_ dead woman! This couldn't be happening. Maybe she should have let Paine give her something to knock her out. Maybe she was knocked out, and this was all just a dream… Rikku put a hand to her head. "Paine's going to think I'm crazy." She mumbled.

"Paine?"

"Oh… My um, my girlfriend."

She seemed a little surprised. "Girlfriend?"

"Yes…" Rikku eyed the image of her mother closely. "I think I'm in love with her…"

Well she couldn't die from a heart attack right?

Rikku shook her head at herself.

Worst joke ever.

Tahla nodded slowly. "Love makes you do crazy things Rikku Milan."

"Yeah…"

##

Paine shook her head quickly. "Slow down slow down, who was there?" Pause. "Did you take your medicine?" Pause. "All of it?" Pause. "Well Rikks I don't know what to tell you…" Pause. "No I'm not saying you're lying, but you still had a fever this morning maybe" Pause. "Alright alright I believe you." Pause. "No I'm not just saying that to shut you up."

Paine sighed and unlocked her apartment as Rikku spoke. She raised an eyebrow at Wakka sleeping on the couch but then shrugged and went to her room.

"I'm home." Paine announced. "Yeah I'm gonna shower and stuff and then pass out… Are you okay? Good… I really think it was just the medication Babe... I know…. Do you want to talk about it? Space? Oh for Friday, yeah no problem, but you'll text me or call me if you need me right? Okay. I'm glad you're feeling better though. You think you gonna make it to school tomorrow?" Paine chuckled at her answer. "Alright Ri… Yeah… Me too. Night."

##

"Are you sure?" Yuna asked at breakfast the next morning. She had stopped by after walking Kimahri and was going to head into school with Paine and Rikku.

The doorbell rang.

Rikku stood in her pajamas still. "I'm tellin' you Yunz it was her, she was in my room." Rikku and Kimahri went to the door.

Paine was greeted with a small kiss from the blonde. "Good morning."

Paine smirked softly. "Someone's feeling bette— ah!" She jumped back when Kimahri came out of nowhere and jumped her.

"Kimahri!" Yuna called. "C'mon you." She grabbed his collar and yanked him away. The big dog didn't seem fazed at all. He just wagged his tail happily while being dragged into the den by Yuna.

Rikku only laughed. "Come inside." She grabbed Paine's arm.

"Thanks I— you're still in your pajamas?" She asked incredulously when she looked down at what her girlfriend was wearing. "Babe we don't have five hours for you to get ready."

Rikku feigned annoyance. "Y'know I'd appreciate it if you had a little more faith in me." Paine made a mocking sorry face. "I was so bored yesterday that I picked out my clothes for a week!"

Paine chuckled and unzipped her leather jacket and pulled off her scarf. "It's getting colder out there."

Rikku took the articles of clothing from her to hang them near the door. She was here early to sit down and have breakfast before another long day of school. "You think it will snow for Halloween?"

"Week away right? Maybe."

"C'mere." Rikku pulled her into a little hug.

"What's wrong?" Paine asked as she hugged her back.

"Nothing, I just wanted to hug you. A girl can't hug her girlfriend?"

"Not if said girl is still sick."

Rikku laughed. "Oh shut up you were right there with me."

"How are you feeling today though?" Paine asked. Rikku said she didn't want to talk specifically about Friday, but Paine still had to check in with her.

Rikku nodded and unwrapped her arms from around Paine's body. "Better than yesterday. Are you hungry? I've been drinking soups for days now; this will be my first solids meal." Rikku led the way into the kitchen where Yuna was pouring herself some tea.

"Hey Yuna." Paine waved as she leaned near the far counter.

"Paine, good morning. I get the prints from Saturdays show today; do you want to see them later? Maybe save a few for your big break?"

Paine sighed. "The guy hasn't called me back yet, so let's not get excited here." Rikku handed her a bowl with dried frosted mini wheat's in it. She knew Paine liked to pour her own milk. Something about the milk to cereal ratio having to be perfectly off kilter. Rikku couldn't be bothered. "And that's if I decided to do it."

"Well you are though right? It's an amazing opportunity." Yuna nodded. "That same agency offered me a job already once I graduate."

Rikku chuckled after handing Paine the carton of milk. "And here I thought you were moving off to Zan City to be with Tidus."

Yuna shrugged lightly. "He hasn't mentioned anything to me about his plans yet, so I'll plan like I was planning on planning." She chuckled a little. She turned to Paine. "Rikku has already ordered that I hand over the one of you in the black and red."

"Yunie!"

Paine chuckled at the blush on her girlfriends cheeks. "Gonna keep 'em under your mattress Rikks?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You'd be so honored."

Paine chuckled and walked over to the fridge and put the milk back before sliding into the breakfast nook with her bowl and spoon.

"You really did look pretty in that one though Paine." Yuna nodded.

"Thanks." Paine said while eating.

Rikku shook her head. "She doesn't know how to take compliments."

"I do!"

"No you don't, now eat your cereal, grown people are talking."

Paine went back to eating and Yuna laughed. She picked up her tea cup. "I started the shirts for little D'Autry."

D'Aurtry was Wakka's last name.

"I went online yesterday after my dead mother appeared in my room and looked up baby clothes, their having a sale at Slacks Sixth Ave tomorrow, we should check it out."

Paine sighed but said nothing.

"You think he'd like overalls?" Yuna questioned. "I think he would."

Rikku nodded and went into the fridge to get an orange. "Pypo?"

"Hm?"

"When you're done can you do that cool thingy again?"

"You mean segment it? Yea give it here."

"No no eat first."

"Have you eaten yet?" Paine asked.

"Yunie and I have rolls in the oven." Rikku explained. "I didn't think you wanted one because I know how you like your cereal."

She nodded. It was true; she did like her cereal in the mornings during the week. "When are you going to get changed?" Paine asked noticing how comfy the blonde seemed.

"After we eat." Just then a timer went off and Yuna put on mitts to go into the oven. Kimahri padded into the kitchen avoiding Yuna's questioning look and waited at Paine's side.

"You want something?" Paine asked him. He dropped his usually pointy ears and tilted his head cutely. Paine glanced up at Yuna and Rikku talking and quickly spooned out a few frosted wheats and tossed them onto the ground. "Don't say I never gave you nothing." She chuckled a little as Kimahri lapped up the sugar bits quickly.

"Paine!"

Paine looked up like a deer caught in the headlights. "They fell." Rikku just shook her head before going back to talk to Yuna. Paine patted Kimahri's head and sighed. "I don't know if this is going to work out, you're already getting me in trouble."

##

"Excuse me Miss? No dogs."

"Oh." Yuna went into her purse with her free hand as she held Kimahi's leash firmly in the other. "He's working." She pulled out his doggie ID that she and Rikku got just for kicks while in High school. It meant that he could go anywhere really, even in the mall. Which is where Yuna was now.

Mint Prints was a popular print shop for photographers in the area. It is where Yuna was told her pictures from the last fashion show would be waiting for her.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" The older man examined Kimahri. "He's kind of big for a working dog…"

"Well I'm kinda small."

The man laughed uneasily as Kimahri's yellow eyes followed him as he walked. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Sure, I would like to pick up some photos, bin number 2436. Should be under Yunalesca Shaw."

"You got it." The man smiled and turned around to work on her order.

Just then a man with very short brown hair and torn jeans walked in. He looked upset. He had scruffy facial hair and grayish blue eyes. Kimahri didn't like him, Yuna could already tell by his stance at her side. "Easy." She patted him on the head lightly. He looked up at Yuna and sneered but relaxed a little.

"Hey Dean!" The man standing beside them took the black camera sack from over his head and rested it on the counter. "Dean!"

"Can't you see I'm dealing with a lovely customer?" Dean said from behind the counter, he motioned to Yuna. "Relax Cam, what's got you so worked up anyway?"

Cam merely glanced at Yuna and her dog before looking back at his old friend. "The bitch fired me!"

"I didn't know girlfriends could fire."

He growled. "Not Lynny. Kerrigan."

"Kerrigan? I don't know a Kerrigan." Dean raised an eyebrow as he worked on Yuna's prints.

"I don't know her first name…" He rubbed his scruffy chin.

Yuna perked up a little. It wasn't an uncommon last name, yet still she didn't know many with it.

"I do my job, and she fires me."

"You're mad."

"Damn right I'm mad."

"It would have ended sooner or later Cam." He turned to Yuna. "I'm sorry for the wait Ma'am, these are out of order."

"Oh it's okay." Yuna smiled.

Dean turned to fix Yuna's prints. "Anyway you come here to talk, or you got something for me?"

Cam opened up his camera case and pulled out an expensive looking camera. From that he popped out a single reel. "She's not getting these."

"She paid for them, give her the damn prints." Dean chuckled as he took the reel and placed them aside to be developed later.

Cam sighed and leaned on his elbow. He didn't know why but the brunette beside him looked so familiar. "Cool dog."

Yuna nodded. "He's a mutt, but I love him to bits."

"He's really big." Cam leaned down to pet Kimahri and almost got his hand bitten off. "Shiva! He's mean too."

"He's working, I here you're not supposed to pet working dogs." Dean reminded his friend.

Yuna let go of his leash and pet his head firmly. "Alright alright." She looked up to the man. "He doesn't like strangers… Or my boyfriend." Yuna chuckled at the afterthought. Kimahri stood fully. "Kimahri, sit." He sat back down but didn't take his eyes off Cam.

"He's a mean little fucker." Cam commented still holding his hand. "Almost got my clicking hand."

"I've had him since I was two." Yuna nodded. She could just feel Kimahri's anxiety, and for some reason it was transferring to her. She was starting to get a weird feeling about the man before them. She turned to Dean. "I can come back."

"No need, I just finished them." Dean handed over a thick envelope with a receipt held to it by his finger. "You have a nice day."

Yuna smiled gratefully. "Thank you, you too." She picked up Kimahri's leash from the counter again. "C'mon Kim Kim."

Kimahri growled and showed his teeth to Cam before turning with Yuna.

##

"Mmm…A vampire."

"No."

"A werewolf… The hair Paine, the hair!"

"No."

"You wouldn't have to die it or anything!"

"No."

"What about… What about a mage!"

Paine put the key chain pet down and looked across the small room at her girlfriend. She was wearing cute overalls and a black tank top. A smudge of blue grazed her collar bone. "Do you want me to fix this or not?"

Rikku poked her head from behind the easel to look at Paine. "Why don't you want to go with us?"

"I just don't wanna go." She went back to toying with Little Puppy and his little world. Rikku had hit a button somehow and changed the game to Guado. She glanced down to the small book of a Guado to Common translations sitting on her chest.

"Yeah, but why?"

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I have something to do?"

Rikku paused and peeked back over at Paine. "Are you on your period?"

"What?" Paine looked at her. "Why?"

"Because, you've been grouchier than usual today." Rikku went back to painting. "You didn't have to come over if you didn't want to Paine."

Paine looked back to what she was doing. "I wanted to come over…" She sat up suddenly causing Rikku to stop what she was doing and wait for her to say something. "Can we talk?"

Rikku nodded quickly. "Yeah Pypo, of course." Rikku put down her brush and crossed the small distance to her. She began to feel a little nervous when Paine took a minute to look at her. "What's up?" She asked softly as she put her arm around Paine's shoulders.

Paine sighed a little. "I promised that I would tell you things right?"

"Right, me too."

"Well… It happened last night."

Rikku was quiet for a moment. "Are you… Are you okay?"

Paine shrugged. "Yeah, I just feel shitty about a lot of things." Paine ran a hand through her hair and sighed in a way that made Rikku frown even more.

"How much more do you need?" Rikku asked.

"A hundred." She had been saving for at least two months worth of the prescription. Dr. Vice advised that it was the best amount of time to see a change worth continuing in.

"So I'm gonna give it to you okay?"

Paine shook her head. "Baby."

"We could be having a completely different conversation, if that at all." Rikku stood and just left the room. Paine groaned lightly. She didn't want to say anything to Rikku since yesterday being Friday and all, but it was eating away at her conscious all day. She had promised, and that meant everything to Paine. Her word was all she had.

Rikku returned with her purse. "I need to get a new nail polish for Tidus's party. Let's go to a Rin Pharmacy."

Paine stood. "Hold on." She grabbed Rikku's elbow and stopped her. "Babe."

"Paine no okay? You're my girlfriend I… I.." She bit her lip. "I like having you alive alright?" She chuckled a little bit. "Just let me do something, please."

Paine sighed. "Fine… But I'm buying the nail polish."

Rikku chuckled and took Paine by surprise by kissing her. Paine slowed the kiss down a little so it would last longer. She could never get enough of kissing Rikku.

"You really wanna take care of me huh?" She whispered.

Paine nodded slowly. "I do, I really do."

##

"Fuck that, twelve dollars!" Paine asked looking at the bright green nail polish.

"It's anti chip!"

"Is it anti Rikku? You re-do your nails every other day!"

"Every week."

"Same difference." Paine shook her head and put the nail polish down. "What's wrong with these?" She motioned to a different rack.

"They're cheap." Rikku waved them off.

"Yeah and so am I." Paine picked up a similar looking green to the one Rikku wanted. "Same color, three bucks cheaper."

Rikku shook her head. "Paine that is not the same color."

"Yes it is."

Rikku took the nail polish out of her hand and picked up the one off the twelve dollar rack. "Gypsy Dust." She sing songed. "And Green." She said in perfect monotone. "I'd rather wear Gypsy Dust."

"You are going to pay three extra dollars for the name?"

"Nope." Rikku shook her head and smiled smugly. She pushed Gypsy Dust into Paine's hand. "You are."

"To hell I am."

##

Rikku giggled. "Alright Alright I get it!"

They were back in Rikku's room.

Paine picked up another nail polish. "No Prenup?" She showed the innocent looking pink to Rikku. "Is now just plain ol' pink."

"Oh c'mon! It's clearly powdery and innocent!"

Paine shook her head no as she typed in something on the label maker they found while cleaning Rikku's closet months ago. "Since we already have about five other pinks let's just keep with the pattern." She pulled off the label and stuck it over the entire front face of the nail polish. She then passed it to Rikku who was leaning her back against the head board of her bed.

The blonde laughed. "Pink 6? Really?" Paine only laughed. "You're going to take these off right?"

Paine began to make more labels. There was something so invigorating about making labels, it was strange. "Blue… Yellow—"

"Not Lemonade Stand! Paine no, that's my favorite." Rikku whined as she placed the pink aside and attempted to take the label maker out of Paine's hands.

Paine yanked it away. "Whoa whoa whoa." She glared at Rikku. "Don't touch."

Rikku laughed. "Paine you need to step away from that thing."

"No way." Paine went back to happily making labels. She paused when she was about to cover up the yellow with one that said yellow. She handed it to Rikku instead. "Hide that, I'm on a mission."

Rikku smiled as her favorite polish was spared. "Aww Baby."

"Yeah yeah." Paine waved her off and made another label.

Rikku picked up a certain rusty red. "Let me paint your nails."

"No." Paine said easily as she tried to decide what to name the teal in her hands.

Rikku scooted closer to where Paine was sitting at the foot of the bed. "Let me paint your toes." When Paine hesitated Rikku knew she had her. "You always wear socks! C'mon." She leaned closer to Paine and whispered in her ear. "It'll be our little secret." She pulled away and looked at Paine. The older woman seemed to be thinking it over. "I promise I won't tell anyone. I promise." Rikku grinned when Paine sighed. "Yay!"

##

Rikku tried to keep her mind and her hands off of Paine's creamy legs on her lap, but they were just so nice. How could you not just admire how toned and long, and…

"You're doing it again."

Rikku looked down at Paine's toe to see that she got the polish on the actual toe instead of her nail. She laughed it off and picked up a cotton ball.

Paine narrowed her eyes in concern. "You feeling okay Princess?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah yeah, I'm good." She glanced up at Paine to smile. "Do you feel any different?"

Paine shrugged. She had taken the first pill over an hour ago. "No."

Rikku went back to work. "Hm."

"Did you take your antibiotics today?"

Rikku nodded. "Two more days."

"You look and sound like a hundred percent." Paine nodded in approval at modern medicine.

"You look and sound like a hundred and ten percent Baby."

Paine rolled her eyes but laughed. "Aw, thanks." Rikku looked up and winked at her before continuing.

##

She wouldn't ever tell anyone, but these were the moments that Paine loved the most about being with Rikku. It reminded her of the very beginning, where their silence was all they had.

"This is the part." Rikku mumbled against Paine's side. They were sitting up in the dark of her room watching a movie late that night. It had gotten a little colder so there was an extra blanket. Paine had her right arm wrapped around the blonde and Rikku seemed to be perfectly content with watching the black and white movie a bit sideways as she cuddled against Paine's warm body. "It's my favorite part." The blonde added.

Rikku liked old movies. Paine had realized that a while back when she would just curl up by herself and watch a movie very contently and without a sound. She would always quietly shush Paine if she tried to talk, now was different though. It was like she was letting Paine in on what she saw, how she interrupted things. It was nice to be able to see another rare side of Rikku.

The movie played on.

Paine yawned to herself at one point and turned to place a little kiss on the side of Rikku's forehead.

"It's almost done." Rikku reassured knowing that that single action meant Paine was tired and was probably going to go to sleep.

"I'm gonna go change."

Rikku nodded. "Okay." She merely glanced at Paine as she got out of the bed and went over to her "drawer" at Rikku's dresser. Paine took her time getting ready for bed, when she came back she was a little surprised to see that Rikku wasn't in the room. "Rikks? Rikku?" It was then that she noticed something flicker outside the window.

Paine smiled and headed for the attic.

Rikku's silhouette was standing close to the circular attic window with her arms wrapped around herself watching the first snow fall.

She had told Paine once that her first night in Luca it snowed the first snow of the season. It was just so breathtaking and new for the little Bayla, who grew up knowing nothing but sand.

To this day Rikku still remembered how it felt; the same giddy uncertainty that took hold of her then was what she felt every time she was able to witness the first falling. Something new and amazing was beginning, a new adventure.

Rikku leaned back into Paine when she felt the taller woman's arms wrap around her from behind. "Look Pypo." She motioned to the small flickers of white falling softly onto the street before them.

Paine leaned her head over Rikku's shoulder and watched it quietly. She loved how it was so quiet. Nearly everything that fell from the sky made a sound, but not snow. Sure if you listened real hard you could hear the soft touch of each flake to each surface, it almost sounded like the softest of waves getting caught in the surf. But it was the quietest of sounds, the most gentle of natures gestures.

Paine didn't know why, but she found a certain lulling in that like nothing else. She slept best when it snowed. It was like her lullaby.

They stood there in the dark and watched the snow fall for fifteen minutes; both lost in their own thoughts.

Lost yet still together

At one point Rikku hummed quietly and turned her head to look at Paine who had yet to take her auburn eyes off of the scene before them. "The first snow, Pai." She whispered excitedly.

Paine nodded slowly and glanced down at her, their eyes met. "The first snow, Rikks."

**AN: Does this chapter seem fillerish? It seemed fillerish to me lol. This is good though, it's setting things up. So the next couple of weeks are going to be rough, I promise though that this fic is continuing so no worries there. How did you all like this chapter? Nothing like waking up to a hangover and a fever eh? Reviews make me happy, so leave them. Lol**

**KathleenDee**


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three **

Paine rushed the hand towel through her wet hair with one hand as she checked the time.

9:00am

"Alright, alright…." She rubbed the back of her neck and tossed the wet towel on her bed.

Paine stood there for a moment; in the center of her dark room in nothing but a pair of shorts and her bra. She had just finished a two hour workout. She needed to be at Rikku's in an hour, which meant she really only had half an hour to get dressed and leave. It was bright this morning, as winter mornings often are, and Paine was nervous about the day. Today was the Harvest Moon, which meant that households both big and small would be coming together to enjoy Harvest dinner all over Spira. The closest thing Paine had ever had to a real Harvest dinner was in the few years she lived with Elma, Nooj, and Wakka. She and Gippal never really thought to celebrate it, not when their earliest memories of the day was of the cold macaroni casserole, spinach cream pies, and the stale bread they would "break" in the juvenile detestation cafeteria. It was never anything big, and it certainly wasn't something she thought she had to dress up for.

Paine shook her head as she looked at the extra set of "fancy" clothes she was brining for later that evening. A nice white blouse that she never wore, black slacks, and heels, she had fought hard for the slacks though. She was perfectly okay with wearing a skirt, she'd rather not but she was okay with it if she really had to, but the skirt Rikku wanted her to wear was just too much, or rather… too little.

Paine used her bare foot to push aside her new gym bag that Rikku had gotten her for their four month anniversary a week ago; she had ten minutes to clean her room for when Rikku came over tonight. It had become a tad messier than usual since Paine was hardly there to straighten it. Once Elma and her doctors gave the okay and since she was well into her tester cycle of Dr. Vice's medication, Paine lived at the recreation center. If she wasn't working she was studying or doing homework, and when she wasn't doing that, she was working out trying to get back to where she was four months ago. The drug hardly had any real adverse effects with Paine except for the fact that she had become somewhat of an insomniac, it gave her this energy where she was never really tired. It wasn't healthy, but Paine would take that over those withdrawal symptoms any day. She felt good, and that was huge. Sometimes it did catch up with her, usually when she was with Rikku, she would just pass out and sleep for a few hours. Dr. Vice was making her keep a sleep log, and take melatonin, which Paine didn't really do; the extra energy was an amazing advantage now that finals were coming up. She found that if she didn't take it she could stay up and study longer, and wake up feeling fine. Of course her girlfriend and her doctor didn't agree.

"Bring this cake."

Paine was on her way downstairs to her car when Gippal, pushed a round cake wrapped in parchment into her hands. Paine was already holding her change of clothes and a few other things when the warm dessert was pushed upon her. "Gip, what the hell? You bring it, you'll be by later. I'm gonna be late."

Cid had invited Gippal for dinner as well.

"It's an Al Bhed rum cake, I made six." Gippal pushed it back in Paine's hands. "_You_ have to bring it."

"Why?"

"Because you have to bring something. You can't just show up, eat his food, and then take his daughter. I know you aren't used to these kinds of things—"

"Just me huh?"

"—But it's nice to bring a rum cake to y'know, smooth things over with the big man."

"There isn't anything to smooth over—"

"There will be when he sees that hickey on his daughter's neck."

Paine took a second to think and Gippal nodded knowingly. "Fine, give me the damn cake." If she didn't leave soon she would be late. Cake in hand Paine braced herself for the November cold. She had come down a few minutes ago to turn on her to warm it up, but that did little to protect her against the chilly wind that seemed to be coming out of nowhere today. The usually dingy landscape of Crenshaw Street was covered in a fine blanket of white snow. It had snowed again last night. Paine took a breath of the cold air and watched the smoky exhale. She was glad Gippal was going to be there tonight, she was well comfortable with everyone else at this point. She and Rikku had been inseparable for about seven months, but this wasn't her world, she didn't get why this was such a big deal for most people. Rikku had been excited about her coming, so that meant she would try. Paine was just glad to have her friend back her up, even though technically she didn't need it.

##

Rikku had heard her before she saw her.

"…It's a rum cake; I don't know Gippal gave it to me…"

"It smells yummy." Yuna replied.

Rikku turned to where her older brother was arm deep in some sticky dough for the dinner buns. "It's just Paine, you can say hi when we get back." Rikku pulled off her apron.

"Y'know where ever this guy is, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. This is no way to win me over…" Kirill grumbled. He and his sister had been up since four that morning making bread and starting to cook for dinner. It took a while to create a full Al Bhed Harvest, especially with only two people. Their father had started to help, but then got a call and left around six, and had hadn't returned yet.

Things had been a little odd in the beginning. Kirill and Cid were trying to salvage whatever was lost of their relationship. Rikku couldn't be happier to have her family back together under one roof. Though somewhat strained, she knew that they were headed in the right direction.

"E ghuf oui zicd kud eh oacdantyo, pid oui kioc teth'd feh dra dedma cu ir, hu cdyn dnaydsahd." Rikku joked. "Stop complaining."

Kirill made a face and yanked his tattooed right arm out of the dough. "E's retehk ymm dra cduumc, cu dra haqd desa oui ryja du naylr cusadrehk oui ryja du pak sa."

Rikku brushed him off and picked up the list they had been working on. "Mad sa ghuf frah ouin tyda crufc ib—ur dryd'c nekrd, oui tuh'd ryja uha!"

Kirill shook his head with a little smile. It had been like that all morning. Jab for jab. "Yeah yeah yeah Little B."

"Stop calling me that!"

The nickname always annoyed Rikku.

She technically was the youngest Bayla though. Sure she had other relatives, but that was all on her mother's side of the family.

Kirill rolled his green eyes. "Fine, _Milan_, just don't forget sweetened milk, you think you can do that?"

"Sure, just make sure to keep your gross eyes off my cousin!"

"She's my cousin too y'know!" Who knew an innocent childhood peck years ago would follow him into adulthood like this.

"Exactly Brother, exactly…"

Paine smiled a little as she took off her jacket when Rikku came into the hallway near the door. Whenever she entered the room Paine couldn't help the annoyingly cheesy skip in her chest. She was wearing long jeans, goofy striped socks, and a deep purple short sleeve turtle neck. She looked happy. Rikku greeted her with a little kiss on the cheek before stopping her from taking off her jacket.

"You're gonna come with me, Pai?"

"Where are you going?"

"The grocery…" Rikku turned and got her red winter coat off the hook. "Other places..."

Paine shrugged and put her jacket back on. "Yeah, I'll come." The two said goodbye to Yuna and Kirill and ventured out in the cold again.

"I'll drive." Rikku shook her car keys."We have to pick up a lot of things, and I don't want my dress to fold when we go to the dry cleaners."

Paine made no argument as she got into the passenger's seat and rubbed her hands together. "It's fucking cold."

"I still don't know how or why you get up so early and leave the house. You know how long I stayed in my PJ's?" Rikku asked as she buckled up and turned on the heater. "I only changed 'cause you were coming."

Paine shook her head. "I had to get a work out in before I ate myself into a coma tonight."

Rikku laughed and turned out from her block. "I think I may actually have you beat today, Baby."

"Oh yeah? Time?"

"3:30am" Rikku glanced at Paine when she whistled. "I didn't know you could whistle." She laughed finding it amusing.

Paine shrugged. "You never asked, and damn that's early."

"When did you wake up?"

"I didn't text you 'cause I thought you'd be sleeping still. 5:00am."

Rikku winced. "You're sick, it's vacation!"

Paine chuckled. ""Not yet, we only get a few days off, I have to keep a rhythm for finals anyway… How's your neck?"

Rikku glanced at Paine then back onto the road, a little smile played at her lips. "You mean my hickey?"

Paine shrugged. "Sure."

"Just call it what it is." Rikku laughed.

"A bruise created by the bursting of superficial blood vessels…"

"You curse a lot…."

"Not all the time…"

"And you can't say hickey?"

Paine shrugged again. "It's a weird word to say, anyway how is it?"

Rikku giggled. Paine had been worried about her ever since she had given it to her a few days ago. "I'm fine, it's fine, it says hello…"

"Ah alright, laugh." Paine shook her head but smiled anyway. "See if I show any more concern."

Rikku took her right hand off of the steering wheel and rested it on Paine's knee, she gave it a little squeeze then brought it back to the steering wheel. Things had definitely been progressing in that area of their relationship. They hadn't really done anything significant, but Rikku knew Paine respected her and would wait. It was just that sometimes it felt like Paine was holding back too; Rikku noticed it, and half the time it was Paine stopping when they fooled around. So until Rikku got over her nerves of actually going there, and Paine got over whatever she was trying to get over they were at a mutual standstill. It made Rikku sad to think that Paine's reluctance could be her fault. She knew they needed to talk about this eventually, but that was a conversation she knew would be difficult. It just reminded her of how little she actually knew. She didn't want to come off as inexperienced, more than anything she wanted to be able to please Paine, but she was inexperienced, and the experience she had had probably wasn't the best to run by.

The blonde knew she was in love with her girlfriend; she had been biting her tongue for about three weeks now, worried that it would just backtrack all the progress they had made in communication. She knew Paine needed time with these things; emotions and what not. It was just hard on someone like Rikku who felt what she felt and said what she felt easily. Paine grew up to be guarded , and even though they had reached a point of complete openness with each other Rikku didn't want to scare her. But if she had learned anything with Paine, it was that tomorrow was never really a sure thing. Her girlfriend was reckless, and brave, and all the other noble things that when standing alone made you proud to be with that person, when jumbled into one made you even happier, but also worrisome.

Paine deserved to know the truth though, right?

And that truth was that she loved her, and it made her want to dance and tell everyone she met. It made her feel a little loopy, but Rikku liked the feeling. She just needed the right time to say something to her. She knew Paine enough by now to know that timing was everything.

Rikku stopped at a light and turned to Paine. "How was your workout?"

##

Paine maneuvered the cart as best as she could after Rikku. "How about we just split up…." They were at the market to pick up a few last minute things and crowded wasn't the word, crammed packed was more like it. There was hardly any room to think, Paine's anxiety was even starting to kick in. If one more person brushed up against her she was going to lose it. Why in the hell did everyone decided to go shopping the day of Harvest dinner anyway? It was taking them an ungodly amount of time just to get to the produce area.

Rikku held the front of the cart to help guide Paine passed the crowds of procrastinators. "Tomorrow isn't going to be any better…" Rikku could tell Paine was getting cranky, she didn't blame her.

Paine groaned. "Remind me why I agreed to go with you again?" They had finally made it into the produce area without running anyone over.

"Because you care about my well being and don't want me to get trampled." Rikku quickly snagged plastic bag and off of a roll and began to fill it up with the last of the lemons.

Paine leaned against the cart. "Oh yeah. "

"And because you waited till last minute to buy gifts."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't going to get anyone anything."

"I know." Rikku shook her head and turned to face her. "Lemons." She held up the bag.

Paine dipped her hand into her jeans pocket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper, and then reached up behind her ear for a small pencil. "Check, you wanna see if they have fresh mint here?" She asked after noticing it on the list. "I mean I'm sure they do it's just I know how you are particular."

Rikku put the lemons in the cart and looked around for a second and then went to Paine's side to read the half way complete to do list. "Yeah…" She rubbed her chin lightly and motioned to the herb area. "It's so crowded over there though. Brother was supposed to bring some from Home…" She watched as a few women near the herbs began to fight over the last sprig of thyme.

"A bunch right? I'll go get it." Paine handed Rikku the pencil and the list. "You should start finding a place at the checkout."

Rikku nodded and took control of the cart. "No wilted leafs or—"

"I know. I'll meet you up front."

Rikku chuckled. "Alright alright." She knew Paine just wanted out of the store as quick as possible. She watched for a second in amusement as Paine went over to the herbs and basically pushed her way through the crowd of arguing ladies.

##

"I left you for literarily five minutes. Five minutes!"

"I know okay! Stop yelling at me!"

Paine chuckled as Rikku put her head in her hands. "You've really done it now."

Rikku looked up at her. "You are so not even funny, it's not even funny."

Paine grinned. "I'm staying out of this."

"Oh thanks for the support."

Paine shook her head. "Yup, you can not count on me."

"My girlfriend." Rikku said sarcastically as she started up the car. She paused for a moment. "I mean it's the holidays! It's not my fault he raised me with a heart." She began to pull out of the parking lot. "She had a thing of tabouli, bananas, and a roasted chicken! Fryd fyc E cibbucat du tu?"

"Weren't they at each other's throats just yesterday?"

"Two days ago, and that doesn't mean she should be alone."

"Right well, you said yourself that he seemed really upset—"

Rikku shook her head as she turned sharply onto the main road. "They fight because they love each other. She obviously wants to see him and make it right, or else she would have declined, I think this could be good. I think Leblanc and Pops work y'know, I really do Pai. Like you and me." She glanced at Paine. "We work."

"Yeah, but Princess…"

"And I also think that they could be happy like before, they deserve happiness…" Rikku nodded to herself as she tried to rationalize what she had just done.

"They do." Paine agreed.

"So I don't see the problem with pushing them a little."

"There is no problem except for that one thing you keep forgetting."

Rikku glanced at Paine and then back at the road. "I think a little jealousy is good in a relationship." Paine raised an eyebrow. "Keeps the chocobos coming home y'know?" Rikku glanced at Paine again. "Y'know?"

"I have no idea what that even means."

"Chocobos y'know, keeps them coming back without…Well it made sense in my mind Paine what do you want from me?"

Paine chuckled. "You screwed up big time."

Rikku slumped down. "I know, you have to help me fix this."

Paine shook her head. "No way, I was invited to show up, eat, smile, and leave, not play Doctor Phil."

Rikku laughed a little. "But you're Dr. P! If anyone can get Pops and Dragon lady back together while charming all of Pops guests _and_ his date, it's you!"

"You have such faith in me, it's scary." Paine said dryly.

"I can even be your sidekick!"

Paine was quiet for a while as Rikku spoke aloud to herself. Traffic was a bit intense in this area and they had to drive through snow too, so it took them a while to get back to the Bayla residence. Rikku took her keys out of the car once it was parked.

"You invited her for dinner right?" Paine asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

It took her a second to understand where Paine was going. She grinned. "Yeah."

"So this cocktail thing before…?"

Rikku's grin grew. "We totally get her to leave before Leblanc comes!"

"Slow down." Paine laughed as she reached behind her seat to grab Rikku's dinner dress from the cleaners and a few other things in the backseat.

"We can put something in her drink or…" She began to plot.

"Rikks, we're not drugging anyone." Paine warned.

Rikku began to pout. "But I really don't like her at all for Pops, she's weird and she wears glasses that are way too round to be made in this century, and she smells like books! I asked Pops where in the hell he found her and he said the filing department! Juliann Leblanc is a highly accomplished social worker AND attorney and I know she is kinda ridiculous, but I think that's why they work Pai, let's face it, Pops is boring without her… What? What's that look?"

"You hate Leblanc." Paine reminded.

"She's just annoying, I never hated her. She makes Pops happy, and since Ma isn't around to do that he needs someone… Who doesn't smell like books."

Paine chuckled. "She probably doesn't even smell like books. I think you're being a tad bit—"

"You better not say dramatic."

"Imaginative." Paine adjusted the things in her hand and reached for the car door. "We'll call him, tell him what's going on, and if he really wants to talk to her he'll ditch the bookworm before dinner. Now can we please go inside before we both freeze to death?"

"Wait wait wait." Rikku called softly. Paine turned to face her again and was met with a tender kiss on the lips. "Good morning." Rikku smiled when Paine leaned in a little more and kissed her again just as lightly.

"Morning, Princess."

"We almost forgot."

Paine checked the time. Rikku was armament about these morning kisses. "Yeah almost, it's a good thing you remembered." Paine wasn't really complaining either.

"You're slipping, Kerrigan." Rikku blushed a little as she gathered her things; she could just feel Paine looking at her.

"Y'know we don't have to go inside just yet…"

Rikku laughed. "I only have so many turtle necks."

##

Paine snuck the small plate Yuna and Tidus managed to steal her into Rikku's empty room and closed the door. She sighed with relief and sat down on the bed and kicked her heels off. She was in the process of looking for the TV remote when the front door opened and Rikku walked in but stopped in surprise when she found Paine.

"Paine!"

Paine groaned. "Baby I'm starving okay? I just want something to hold me over."

"Who carved you that turkey?" She put her hands on her hips. Rikku was still wearing her jeans and turtle neck. She and Kirill had yet to change like everyone else.

"Yuna." She answered sheepishly.

"You're lying on my cousin?" Rikku asked raising her brows. "Just for a sandwich, Paine?"

"She did!"

"You'll spoil your dinner."

"I assure you I won't." Paine picked up the small sandwich and took a bite.

Rikku sighed at her and took a seat beside her on the bed. She watched the sandwich then Paine. "You know I'm slaving away in the kitchen, and enduring sibling abuse for _you_. So _you_ can have an authentic Al Bhed Rynjacd, and you're in here eating turkey sandwiches that Yunie allegedly made for you."

Paine chuckled a little and brought the bitten sandwich near Rikku's face. The younger of the two leaned forward and took a bite of the offering. She was starving too. Paine took another bite. "How's it going down there?"

Rikku shrugged and sighed at the same time. "I'm in the kitchen, no clue; to be honest I don't really want to hang out downstairs either." She looked over at Paine. "I'm sorry I kicked you out of the kitchen."

Paine nodded. "Apology accepted."

"Can I have a-" Paine handed her the rest of the sandwich, it really wasn't big, the two easily finished it with a few bites. Rikku smiled. "Thanks."

Paine brushed some crumbs off her slacks and put them on the small saucer sitting between them. "Always." She answered like it was nothing. It really wasn't at this point though, Paine liked sharing with Rikku. She pushed herself back onto the bed until she was resting against the headboard. "Why don't you want to go out there?"

Rikku moved the plate off the bed and onto the ground. She shimmied up onto the bed beside Paine and felt her body appreciate the comfort of her pillows. It was now around three in the afternoon, she had been on her feet for twelve hours. "Mm... A lot of Pops and Uncle B's friends work in the court system." She glanced at Paine. "A lot of them were there at the trial so… Why aren't you downstairs?" She crossed her legs at the ankles.

"Do you have to ask?"

"You don't feel comfortable?" Rikku asked looking at Paine and holding her gaze. "Me either."

The plan was that a few of Braska and Cid's associates would show up for drinks before they left for their respective Harvest dinners. Paine Kerrigan didn't schmooze, that was just a fact. It felt stuffy down there too. Cid's guests were worth more than her entire block. She felt somewhat out of place. Rikku had banned her from the kitchen after catching her slipping Kimahri food, and for ganging up on her with Yuna and Kirill with the teasing. Where else was she supposed to go?

"You do this every year though, right?"

Rikku nodded. "Well you could have imagined how I felt last year. Auron was still here and things had just started to go bad…" Rikku thought for a moment. "I don't think it was ever good but… I don't know, Pai, these are Pops people, and I was always around, but I guess I never really felt a part of it." She shook her head. "Now they just look at me and smile, like nothing happened, but they all know. I mean I'd rather someone ask me about it than just try and talk around it."

"They probably don't know how to approach it, Ri."

"I know they don't, it's okay really, I guess I just feel more uncomfortable than usual, I can't wait for when they leave and it's just us. Dra vysemo."

Paine smiled. "I like when you speak Al Bhed."

Rikku matched her smile. "Why is that?"

Paine shrugged. "Well it's sexy for one." Rikku winked at her and Paine laughed a little. "And I guess it's just you, your personality just comes out more, it's hard to explain."

Rikku laughed. "The fact that you understand me is awesome, my own father doesn't understand what I'm saying sometimes and he speaks Al Bhed just fine."

"Well that's because you're always yelling it at him, Babe. Trust me, I've been at the end of it, and I struggle big time, usually I just use context clues to find out why you are so pissed." Paine chuckled a little. "You usually point a lot." Paine pointed at Rikku for emphasis.

Rikku rolled her eyes and mumbled something, but in the end realized that Paine was probably right. "I saw Pops saying goodbye to Bookworm downstairs; I think operation Be Honest and Tell the Truth worked. Who knew?"

Paine yawned. "I know, now we just have to see if Leblanc shows."

"She'll show." Rikku nodded to herself and slipped into her thoughts. "Lulu's parents are downstairs, Pops invited them for this thing, he always does. It would be rude not to this year I know, but it's also rude not to accept your lil cutie pie of a grandson…"

"Never seen them before, and Rikku if that kid comes out looking like Wakka, he won't be so cute, trust me."

Rikku laughed. "I happen to think Wakka is very handsome."

"Very?" Paine raised an eyebrow at her. "You like Wakka?" She sat up a little. "How come I'm now learning about this?"

"I didn't say I liked it him, I mean I do he's a nice guy, but I don't want to date him or anything. He's handsome… Gippal's handsome too, so is Tidus…"

Paine put a hand to her head and shook it. "Stop, please stop."

Rikku laughed and gently pulled her hand away. "Ah c'mon, you are gonna tell me that you don't think Yunie is pretty? Or Lulu? Or Elma?"

"Yeah they're pretty, but not my type. Yuna's too nice, Lulu is a bitch, and I swear Elma looks like a different person every other week."

Rikku continued to laugh. "She does dye her hair a lot, and Yunie has a mean streak, we just don't talk about it aloud. But it's like that; the guys are definitely not my type either."

Paine turned her body a little to be facing Rikku. "What's your type then?" She quirked an eyebrow suggestively and Rikku laughed.

"Well she's gotta be a good kisser." She said staring openly at Paine's lips.

"Mhm."

Rikku inched closer. "And she has to have dark eyes… I don't know why, but I like that…"

"Two for two over here…"

Rikku was inches away from Paine's face. "And she has to do this thing with her ton—"

Just then the door knocked. "I don't want any repeats, so you guys better be decent!" Gippal hollered announcing his arrival. He had sworn he had walked in on something a week ago when Rikku was helping Paine adjust a bra strap that was bothering her. It was completely innocent and all their clothes were on, but Gippal swore that's what girls really did in the dark.

"He's such an idiot." Paine shook her head.

"Hold on Gip!" Rikku called as she began to get up. She leaned over and pecked Paine twice on the lips before jumping off the bed.

##

"You like?" Gippal asked.

"You clean up nice Trent." The last of Cid's guests were by the door ready to leave and the remainder of the dinner guests were in the den save for Paine and Rikku.

Gippal ran a hand over his parted hair to make sure it was still in order. "Stole some of Paine's gel."

Cid actually chuckled a little and shook Gippal's hand to greet him officially. He still thought Gippal was a bit of a case, but he had formed a new found respect toward him ever since their friend Shuyin's passing. "Everyone is in the den, you can take off your coat and everything, please excuse me to say goodbye to the rest of my guests."

Gippal began to take off his sports coat. "Yeah yeah.."

Cid went toward the door. "Ellen, Paul always a pleasure."

Paul Moore nodded and rested a friendly hand on Cid's shoulder. The two men had known each other for years. He wanted to get a moment with him so he could talk with him about Lulu, to see if he had heard anything. She had stopped returning his calls and that made him worry. "I need a word."

Ellen sighed heavily. "Paul we'll be late for the Frankshaw function."

Paul smiled at his wife. "Honey you worry too much, we'll make it on time. I just need to speak to Cid here."

Ellen nodded already a few glasses of wine deep. She kissed Cid on the cheek and waved her husband off. "I'll be in the warm car when you decide to join me." Paul nodded. "Cid, where is Rikku Milan, I'd like to say goodbye to her."

Cid nodded. 'Just a minute I think she's upstairs." He stepped up a few steps and yelled for Rikku. "Milan! Lusa cyo kuutpoa du dra Moore's!"

"I'm coming!" He heard a few seconds later.

Braska appeared then to say goodbye. He had a scotch glass in his hand with sweet milk and crushed ice. Paul laughed at his tennis friend. "Slow down there."

Braska smiled. "Don't worry about me, eh?"

Rikku trotted down the stairs with Paine not far behind. Paine had been helping her get ready, but Rikku wanted her to meet Lulu's parents. Rikku was dressed nicely in a simple black dress that hugged her body yet was still conservative enough for the occasion. The neck line dipped a little and the hem was cut a little lower than mid thigh. She wasn't wearing anything on her feet and was holding a foundation brush in her left hand.

"You would think she was actually leaving the house for dinner." Cid shook his head at his daughter. He sent Paine a little smile. He hadn't really seen her since the festivities began and strangely enough he found himself worrying after her.

Rikku hugged Paul and then hugged Ellen. "Bye you guys, drive safe."

Paul nodded and turned to say something to Braska when he noticed Braska Shaw and Rikku's friend talking. The doubt remained until she turned around at Rikku laughing loudly. She smiled fondly after the blonde and turned back to Braska. It happened in less than five seconds, he was able to see her face and be almost floored in less than five seconds.

"Paulie I don't think you and Ellen have met Paine…" Braska began to introduce. Paul Moore felt his chest tighten immediately as she turned fully and examined him before politely sticking out her hand. "—And she and Lulu worked together in that fashion show with Yuna, remember the one—" Braska kept on talking.

Paine raised her eyebrow softly at the older man. What was his problem?

Paul began to cough on his own saliva. His daughter did that, his mother did that, heck he could even recall his grandmother raising her eyebrow at him in that exact same fashion whenever he did something disagreeable.

Paine began to lower her hand but the older gentleman put his out at the last possible second. "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was again?" Paul asked.

Paine shook his hand. "Paine, Paine Kerrigan."

Her eyes were a smoldering mixture of _her_ mahogany brown and… and deep crimson.

Paine pulled her hand out of his when he wouldn't let go. Lulu's dad was officially the weirdest man she had ever met. Paine couldn't deny getting a sort of vibe from him though. The way he was looking at her suggested that he knew her, which clearly he didn't because they had just met. It appeared he was very good friends with Braska, maybe he had told him about her and the trial with Auron. That had to be it.

Paul tried to quickly compose himself because if he didn't he didn't know what he would say or do. "Kerrigan?" He pretended to not know it.

Paine nodded. "Yeah… You're Lulu's dad. She uh, she talks about you." Where did Braska run off to?

"Does she?" He asked the Keira look alike. This version only had short hair; it was like going back through time.

"Paine let's go in the den." Rikku hopped up by Paine's side. She had noticed Paine looking uncomfortable and supposed she needed an out, she didn't know why though Lulu's dad was cool. "Bye Mr. Moore!"

"Thank you." Paine whispered as Rikku led her to the den where the majority of the noise was coming from.

"What was that all about?"

Paine shrugged. "No idea."

##

Cid sighed. "Rikku and Yuna always invite her…"

Paul rubbed his chin. "I just don't understand why she and her mother can't work things out. I mean I would like to be a part of all this, she's my daughter."

Cid nodded. "I know, listen, she and Wakka are always welcome here, you and Ellen are always welcomed here, I just didn't want to upset anyone, or make her uncomfortable. She has to be a bit along… She just stopped talking to you?"

"You don't think it has anything to do with that boy…"

Cid shook his head. "I've only met him once, but from what the girls say about him, he's a decent guy."

The two men were in Cid's at home office talking quietly.

Paul nodded slowly trying to compose his thoughts and deal with everything at once. In the back of his mind he couldn't get _her_ eyes out of his head. He finally just bit his pride and decided to ask. Cid Bayla had been a good friend for years now, he watched their girls grow up into strong women, surely he would know a little something about who Rikku hung around, who was in his house.

"How much do you know about Paine?"

Cid seemed a little put off by the question. "Y'know you're the fifth person to ask me that this evening."

Paul raised his hand. "I don't mean to offend."

Cid sighed heavily and finally sat behind his desk. "She's a little rough around the edges, you would be to if you had to deal with stuff this kid has, but she's cares for Milan, and they are happy. So as a father, I am happy."

Paul shook his head slowly not catching what Rikku had to do with anything. "Rikku Milan….?"

"They're together Paul, four months now I believe…" Cid checked the time. On one hand he was anxious about Leblanc arriving, on the other he had just realized that he outted his daughter and Paine without their consent. Cid sighed, he couldn't win could he? He wondered this as he stood again. "What do I know about these things? I'm just a dad huh, you can understand that. With Lulu kind of, I want Milan to be happy and healthy and I think she is, as is Lulu. You have nothing to worry about if she is under this roof, my friend."

Paul Moore nodded and went to stand and shake his hand. "You're a good friend."

"Are you alright, my dear?" Ellen asked curiously when her husband returned to the car. The driver was just getting in the front seat, ready to take them to their next stop. Paul didn't say anything; he just stared at the spacious town car interior leather. "Paul?" The front passenger seat was reclined back a little, the fine stitch work was right in his face, and it wasn't going away. He was foolish to think it would.

##

Rikku giggled. "You like it?" The formal dining room was in a heated debate over the devastating loss of the Al Bhed Psychs to the Besaid Aurochs over the division title last week, and the late night game tonight. Usually Rikku would be right in there with Wakka, Gippal, Tidus, and her brother, but she found herself glancing at Paine more and more often. Her girlfriend could sure put it away. Rikku leaned over to her right where Paine was seated eating quietly.

Paine wiped her mouth lightly with her napkin. "So good." She moaned, answering Rikku's question. If the first thing Rikku ever made for Paine was one of these dishes instead of a Panini, she'd probably ask her to be her girlfriend on the spot.

Rikku grinned "I'm surprised, you ate everything, even the curd cactar. I think you were Al bhed in a past life, Pypo."

Paine chuckled. "I think you're right."

Rikku leaned a little closer to Paine. "Watch this." She whispered. The youngest Bayla cleared her throat a little. "Leblanc you look really nice tonight, doesn't she look nice tonight Pop?"

Everyone fell quiet. Leave it up to Rikku to address the elephant in the room. Over the past years it was customary that Leblanc sat on Cid's right whenever they had dinner in the dining room. Now though, Leblanc was about three seats away from him, talking candidly to Braska, Lulu, and Yuna.

Cid cleared his throat a little glaring lightly at his daughter, he knew she meant well though. "Of course she does Milan, Juliann always looks beautiful." The two had a small moment across the table and Cid chose to change the subject. "So Paine sure has taken a liking to the food." Cid nodded proudly. "We'll make an Al Bhed out of you yet."

Braska laughed. "More than me, and it's been years." He took a sip of his wine. "We'll have to bring her something back huh Yuna?"

Yuna rolled her eyes good naturedly at her father. "You act as if you are actually coming with Rikku and I." Yuna turned toward Paine. "Father is going to be in Kilika the whole time."

"It's a hop away, or rather it was…"

Cid chuckled. "No worries, I'll be with them."

Paine nodded slowly. "Where are you guys going?"

For the second time that night the entire table went silent.

##

"It just slipped your mind that you would be going away for a week—"

"Five days."

Paine stepped out of the bathroom dressed back into her street clothes. She just stared at Rikku who was waiting on the other side. "A work week."

"Pypo, it just slipped my mind!"

Paine walked passed her. "It's enough everyone now knows I'm taking medication…"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You can't drink though!"

"I would have said something else, Rikku. That's private, I'm not like you, I don't like everyone knowing—"

"Alright that's not fair." Rikku turned around with her hands on her hips. "First off everyone already knows you're getting help."

Paine huffed as she packed her change of clothes. "It would have been great to have a say in that, thanks Babe."

Rikku walked over to where Paine was standing. "Not about Martha, just that you went to the doctor's, Paine, give me a little credit. Secondly, hey…" Paine had turned away from her to go to her drawer. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking my things; I mean I don't even know when you're leaving, how do I know I'm not going to need this stuff."

Rikku watched her take a few things out of the drawer that had increasingly become solely Paine's. "Its twenty degree's out Pai, I doubt you're going to need your bikini…" Paine said nothing and Rikku couldn't help the laughter in her throat. She watched Paine's shoulders relax under the sound. She couldn't see her face, but she knew she had to be laughing too. Rikku walked over behind Paine and wrapped her arms around her. "Packing up like you're leaving me…" She mumbled onto her back teasingly.

Paine laughed. "Shut up."

"Fine, take the bikini."

Paine couldn't help but laugh more. "I was just grabbing things, I…" She shook her head at herself. "Stop laughing!"

Rikku was giggling up a storm behind her. The Al Bhed hugged Paine around the waist a little tighter. "Pypo, oui fuimt mayja sa palyica E's kuehk du jeced so knyhtsy?"

Paine looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend. "No."

"Oh thank Shiva!" Rikku made it a point to press herself against Paine a little more. "Cause I don't leave until finals are over. It's only for five days, Pops bought the tickets a long time ago, like when we started talking again. Well then you got shot and all this stuff, it slipped my mind, I swear." She let Paine turn around. "Yunie is coming, we're staying by our grandma, Milana Dalamace Bayla, her social security number is—"

Paine laughed. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry I overreacted…" Rikku tilted her head cutely and Paine furrowed a brow. "I overreacted, huh?"

"A little." Rikku nodded. "But I handled it see? I know." She smiled when she felt Paine's arms wrap around her too. "Kinda like I knew Pops and Leblanc would get it together."

"Dessert?" It hardly seemed that they were getting back together. They were just eating Pana Cotta in the breakfast nook.

"I won't be surprised if she's here tomorrow morning." Rikku nodded proudly.

"Hm." Paine smirked. "Too bad you won't be here to know."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"I'm taking you home with me." Paine mumbled. Before leaning in and getting ready to kiss her girlfriend. Somewhere in the room an alarm went off and Rikku jumped and pushed Paine away.

"Pai the game! We're gonna miss it!"

Paine let her go and watched as Rikku kicked off her heels and ran into the bathroom to change. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Rikku was really doing a number on her.

##

Paine hiked the shopping bags in her hands up a little. "Well Elma said she liked him so that's probably why."

Rikku laughed a little. "No wonder Gippal was giving him a look…"

The two were at the mall for the annual post Harvest dinner shopping sales event. All over were signs promising a certain percent off something. Usually Yuna and Rikku would tackle the day early on, and then stop only for bathroom breaks and food. They would return to Yuna's house and hide all their gifts under her bed. They had been doing it for years. Yuna was in North Luca with her father at some entrepreneur conference today though. It was an important one her professor and mentor told her to attend. You never said no when the head of the department asked you to go, especially this close to graduation. Rikku was happy for her cousin, but it only made her think about her future, or lack thereof one. "Would you still date me if I was a bum, Pai?" Rikku asked randomly as they headed into another department store.

Paine quickly pulled one of those tiny carts from the dispenser and dropped all the bags she was stuck holding into it. "What kind of question is that?"

"It's a real question." Rikku took off her scarf feeling a little hot in the stuffy store. She placed it on the cart Paine was pushing. "Yesterday everyone kept asking which law school I wanted to go to."

"You don't want to go to law school though."

"I know Paine."

"So…"

"So I'm just saying that I don't know what I want to do."

"You have time—"

"We graduate in the summer. That's one more real semester, and then we do a thesis. That's it, done with schooling forever. Yunie is doing her fashion, you have your physical therapy thing and I have… Pre law."

Paine stopped the cart. "You're really freaking out about this," she realized.

Rikku stopped as well. "I don't want to just live with Pops forever… I want to be independent and well, Pops was right; Art isn't going to pay the bills when they come."

Paine frowned. She knew Rikku thought about these things, but never to this degree. "Well I'm majoring in one thing but it's not necessarily what I'm going to do."

"Yeah but they're related." Rikku shook her head dismissing the matter. "I wanna get something for Pops here, a new wallet or…maybe some nice cufflinks…"

"So for Spring you signed up for the architecture course right?" Paine asked as she followed after her.

"As an elective credit, yeah."

"You shouldn't get down about it yet. You're like, the most talented person I know. Maybe you just weren't motivated before now, that's all." Paine tried to reassure. Rikku sent her a small smile. "You can always live off your good looks too, y'know if all else fails." She joked.

Rikku laughed and reached for Paine's arm to pull her closer for a kiss, she stopped though when she realized they were in a very crowded department store. Rikku settled for an affectionate grip before letting go. "Say's the model."

Paine rolled her eyes. "I'm not a model."

"Not yet!" Rikku sing songed. "But I know from Yunie that this agency wants you bad." Rikku took control of the cart and began pushing it down toward the men's department.

"Yuna said something?" Paine asked catching up with her. "What did Yuna say?"

"Aw, look how curious you are." Rikku teased.

"Well I just wanna know so I don't go in there with one point of view."

Rikku chuckled. "You're nervous cause you want to be a model, it's cute."

Paine groaned. "I don't want to be a model Rikku, but I want to pay my bills and be able to save at the same time so besides selling drugs or stripping-"

"So you don't enjoy it at all?" Rikku cut her off.

"No."

"You're lying to your girlfriend." Rikku continued pushing the cart.

"I don't like all the attention…but it's a rush…" She shrugged and Rikku seemed satisfied. "Tell me what Yuna said?"

Rikku walked over to a store showcase of fine leather wallets. "Well as you know that same agency wants Yunie to be a rep when she graduates, like they really want her bad since they lost Lulu to another company."

"Right."

"So they were just saying that they were willing to negotiate, you guys pretty much have the upper hand."

"I'm not even trained though."

Rikku picked up a black wallet and put it in the cart. "Yeah but you're gorgeous, and you already walk like you run things—"

"Well that's because I do run things."

"Psh."

##

"How did you get this number?"

"I met her."

"…."

"She looks just like you."

"I don't appreciate you calling me like this."

"Like what?"

"Like you give a damn."

"Keir—"

"I'm hanging up now, Paul."

"Just let me—"

_Click._

##

"Alright, so welcome to the advanced self defense class. My name is Paine, this is Tidus and Wakka, they'll be helping out here and there during the week. Just a reminder this course is the advanced class, it's only one week. If you guys want the slowed down version that's three weeks during the Spring semester with either Misty or I. "

Someone raised their hand. "What's the difference?"

"Well everything is abbreviated. So today we'll be jumping right into—" The workout room door opened and Paine furrowed her brows as Rikku entered the room in black yoga shorts and a yellow workout tank top. She sent everyone apologetic looks who turned to see why their instructor had stopped. "Everything okay?"

Rikku was in the middle of tying up her blonde hair. "Yeah sorry bab— uh Paine, I was a little late coming out of class, won't happen again."

Paine turned to Wakka and Tidus who just shrugged. They didn't know Rikku was signed up for the course either. "Alright well that's fine, um, Yeah so like I was saying today we're going to do stretches, and by tomorrow I expect you to have them all memorized, along with some basic self defense rules that I'm about to go over."

The same guy that asked a question before raised his hand again. "What makes you qualified; I mean no disrespect I just was curious, you look like a student."

"I am a student." Paine nodded. "But I'm also a second degree black belt and I—"

"In what?"

"Judo. Now if we could hold all personal questions to the end I'll stick around to answer them. But we do have a time slot in this particular workout room. So let's begin." Tidus and Wakka left the room.

By the end of the first class Rikku and many of the other students were sweating and out of breath. It didn't make sense to her; it was just a self defense class not boot camp! She had been planning on taking one of Paine's classes here since she first met her, and since most of her finals were already done the week before Rikku thought this shortened class would be a cake walk.

"Alright so once you're done with stretching you all can leave, good day one." Paine nodded and turned to address small group of students with their questions.

Paine chuckled once all the students were gone leaving her and Rikku alone. Rikku was on the floor with her legs sprawled in front of her trying to stretch. "No c'mon you have to stretch it out the right way or else you'll be sore later." Paine walked over and got on her knees behind her. She adjusted her girlfriend's posture and made Rikku bend forward to touch her toes correctly. "I'm surprised you came."

"I'm surprised I survived." Rikku exhaled once she sat up again. "I'm all sweaty…." She sighed. Her whole body hurt.

"What? You thought I'd go easy on you just because you're my girlfriend?" Paine asked sitting beside her.

"Yes!" Rikku exclaimed giving Paine a look that made her laugh.

"You did great."

"I thought I would come in here, stretch a little, look cute, learn some cool take downs and leave."

"Well you do look cute." Paine nodded while scooting closer to Rikku.

Rikku just huffed in annoyance. "You could have at least warned me."

"_You_ could have at least warned me!" Paine laughed.

"Then would you have gone easy on me?" Rikku asked hopefully.

Paine pretended to think about it. "No, probably not."

Rikku just shook her head. She was spent, and felt gross. "I can't keep up with you." She realized. "I'm sticking to yoga." Paine laughed a little and used her right hand to push some of the stray blonde hair out of Rikku's face. Rikku whined. "Hu pypo E muug runnepma, yht E's cfaydo." she swatted her hand away pathetically.

"You still look beautiful, Rikks." She said it quietly enough for Rikku to know that she wasn't joking. Paine got all quiet and shy whenever she was being sincere.

Rikku smiled a little. "You're a good teacher."

"Good enough for a kiss?" Paine asked.

Rikku laughed, she was such a dork when it was just the two of them. "Nah not that good, but I'll give you one anyway 'cause you look so cute in your little workout outfit."

Paine chuckled and leaned to her side to accept the kiss "Well if you do decide to come tomorrow you can't wear those shorts."

Rikku furrowed her dark blonde eyebrows. "Why?"

Paine stood and began walking to collect her things. "Such a distraction."

Rikku grinned. "Oh so it worked?"

Paine picked up her bag and then went back to extend her hand to help Rikku up. "I knew you wore them on purpose."

"Maybe."

Paine laughed.

##

Later in the week Paine sat across from Baralai at a random table in the Student Union. Paine was cramming for a final she had in twenty minutes when Baralai arrived and wordlessly sat across from her. He watched Paine for a moment; she was wearing a gray long sleeve sweater, jeans, sneakers, and what looked like a bit of makeup. She was concentrated on the open nutrition textbook in front of her. Sometimes her lips would move as if saying a word she had trouble remembering. He didn't want to disturb her, though she seemed to be in a happier mood these days she was still Paine.

Baralai shifted in his seat. "So I saw Rikku at the bookstore just now."

Paine only nodded.

"I was returning my rentals for the semester. She wasn't at the main one but the one near parking lot C."

Paine turned a page. "Mhm."

"It was weird she looked really surprised to see me…"

Paine sighed and picked her head up to look at him. "Lai, I have to leave for my nutrition final in like twelve minutes, so if there wasn't someone bothering her, or she wasn't missing a limb, I don't really have to time to talk about it."

"I know it's none of my business." Baralai nodded gathering his coat to leave. "But I remember you talking about how you guys weren't…"

"Weren't what? Spit it out."

"She was in the sexuality section…" He noticed that he had Paine's full attention now. "Looking…at um, what was it called?" Lai scratched the back of his head trying to remember the catchy title.

Paine raised her eyebrows.

Baralai snapped his fingers together. "A Lady's Guide to Loving Her Lady." He nodded. The look on Paine's face was priceless. Baralai let out a chuckle. "Good luck on that final." He waved before turning to leave; laughing the entire way to his car.

Paine just sat there frozen, her nutrition final the furthest possible thing from her mind.

_Flashback_

"_I just, I don't wanna seem like some clumsy virgin." Rikku picked up her nail polish and shook it a little before opening it and straightening out her right hand. "She makes me nervous, in a good way, but nervous."_

_Yuna walked over to the bed holding a large piece of fabric. "Do you like this one?"_

_Rikku looked up and made a face. "For a onsie?"_

_Yuna nodded. "Too silky?" She ran her hand across the soft material. _

"_He'd slip right out." Rikku laughed. _

_Yuna fingered the material in thought and then walked over to her drawer full of random fabrics. "I think you should just talk to Paine."_

_Rikku sighed. "I can't."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I'm afraid I'll start rambling and accidently tell her I love her."_

"_And she can never know that." Yuna said sarcastically._

"_Not yet."_

"_I think you should worry about saying that before you worry about being intimate…"_

_Rikku rolled her eyes at her cousin always having to be right. "What do you know anyway?"_

_Yuna chuckled. "Nothing apparently." _

"_What if I say it right?" Rikku sat up on the bed. "And she freaks out; Paine is very freak out prone…"_

"_So are you."_

"_Exactly! This is why I need to think about these things seriously… Yunie!" Yuna had opened the fabric drawer again._

_Yuna closed the drawer and walked over to her bed to sit beside her cousin. "Alright I'm listening."_

_Rikku calmed down a little. "What if she doesn't love me back?"_

"_Not possible."_

"_Whenever we are fooling around and are close to doing anything she stops, not me."_

"_So are you saying that you're ready?"_

_Rikku sighed again. She was glad she had Yuna could talk so openly about these things, but that didn't make it easier. "I don't know what to be ready for, and it's obvious Paine is holding something back. What if it's about Auron?"_

_Yuna frowned. "What do you mean?"_

"_He's the last person I… Maybe Paine …" Rikku looked away. "Maybe I'm just being stupid."_

"_You'll never know unless you talk to her. It's the only way you two can get on the same page when it comes to this, and I regret to inform you, but you do have a way of overanalyzing and jumping to irrational confusions, maybe Paine stops because she thinks you're not ready, maybe she's not ready either."_

_There was a thought._

_Paine not being ready? _

_But she had had sex with a woman before, several times. How could she not be ready?_

_Yuna nudged her cousin playfully. "And as far as not being sure what to expect, that's why there are books on these things Rikku…" Yuna stood and went back to her fabrics. "And pornography."_

"_Yunie!"_

"_What? That's what it's there for right?"_

"…_We are not talking about this anymore." _

"_Fine. Now help me with this cotton…"_

**AN: I'm back! Is anyone there? Lol Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Can't wait to hear what you all think! It's been to long since a review has hit my inbox.**

**KathleenDee**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty Four**

Paine put the glass in the microwave and set the timer for a minute and a half. She looked down at the index card in her left hand. "What happens if they want to mediate, but one of the parties remarries before a deal is completed and signed?"

"Alimony would be the best option… but that's if they had been married for five years."

"What about the new spouse?"

Rikku sank back in the plush sides of the breakfast nook. "Well they have nothing to do with it. But as the new spouse he or she is entitled to all the assets if they die…" Rikku motioned to the microwave "Now."

Paine stopped it and retrieved the chocolate milk. She walked over to where Rikku was sitting and placed it down. "Be careful, the glass is a little hot." Rikku nodded in thanks. "Okay." Paine went over to the microwave and closed it and then gathered the small pile of index cards on the counter. "You sure you don't want to go to law school? You got all these right…" Paine turned toward her girlfriend.

Rikku wiped off her chocolate milk mustache with the back of her palm. "All of them?"

"Mhm." Paine motioned to the cards and came to sit beside Rikku.

"Huh…" Rikku thought for a moment. "I wouldn't be happy…"

Paine nodded. "Well whatever you decide I support you y'know?"

Rikku smiled at her before looking back to the huge pile of index cards. "Leblanc should just pass me…"

"Just because?"

"Yeah, just because." Rikku laughed a little and looked back to her notes. "Thanks for helping me study, Pai."

Paine watched Rikku carefully. "No problem…" She folded the cards down in front of her and thought about what she would say next. "So uh…. What did you do today?"

Rikku shrugged. "I woke up and worked on my Art and Design final some more, it's pretty much done I just have to decide what I'm going to use to gloss it over, y'know you can do that; gloss over a painting? It makes it look really neat…" Rikku rambled on for a little while like that, talking about the tools she used to construct her "blueprint painting".

"What else did you do?" Paine spoke a bit above her to get her back on track.

Rikku turned the page in her notebook and then picked up her glass. "Um, I went to see Lulu with Yunie, she's getting really big it's insane! Then I went on campus and went to…um. I went to get coffee." Rikku nodded.

"Coffee?"

Rikku looked up at her and their eyes met. "Yeah….Coffee."

"How come you didn't let me know you were on campus?"

Rikku went back to looking at her notebook. "Well I knew you had work Paine, I didn't want to bother you."

Paine nodded. "You know that you can never bother me—"

Rikku laughed. "I think I can, and have… Can you pass me that?"

"Sure." Pane handed her a highlighter. The house was quiet for a few moments as Paine tried to think of something to say. It was the first real time in months were she felt she couldn't just come out and say something to Rikku. She didn't like the way it felt, but she didn't want to put Rikku in an awkward position about this either. She would talk about it when she was ready right? Besides general curiosity Paine knew there was something else behind Rikku wanting to buy a book like that. But had she said something that would make her feel like she needed to? Paine didn't know, she wanted to know though, she wanted to ease Rikku's mind, make everything better.

Was she not giving her everything she needed?

Was the pace they were running too slow? Too fast?

It was a very real possibility that Paine had been blind to until that second. Things had just been going so well…. Was it all in her mind?

"Paine!"

Paine snapped her head up. "Huh?"

"Are you even listening to me? You're not even listening to me."

"I'm listening, Baby."

"What did I just say?" Rikku smiled she knew Paine was off in her own thoughts.

"I…"

Rikku shook her head. "I was saying that since we both have our last final exam tomorrow we should go out and celebrate, do something nice, the two of us."

"What do you have in mind?

"We can go ice skating, or go out to a movie, or go see the tree in Pavillian Center."

"You want to get dinner downtown?"

"Yeah just something nice, y'know? We haven't been on a date in a little while." Rikku reminded. She felt a little bad about forgetting to tell Paine about the Home trip. They still had when she came back to enjoy the winter vacation, but Rikku was going to miss Paine a lot, so she figured spending as much time as possible now would somehow stretch over the five days she'd be gone.

"Well since you're leaving Sunday right?"

"Sunday morning yeah."

"I was thinking that I would take you out maybe Saturday night… If you want." Paine said.

"Go out to eat and then walk to Pavillian?" Rikku asked hopefully.

"You really want to see the tree huh?"

"I've seen it every year since I came to New Luca! That and the theatre."

"It's always crowded and annoyingly bright…"

Rikku pushed herself against Paine and mustered up the cutest feel sorry for me face ever. "Pleeaasseeee if you care about me you'll take me."

Paine smiled a little. "Who said I care about you?"

Rikku chuckled. "You did, last night when you were falling asleep, you were like _oh, Rikku I wanna be your everything_!"

Paine burst out in laughter."I said that?"

Rikku wrapped her two arms around Paine's left arm. "Uh huh."

Paine shook her head. "I don't think so."

"You calling me a liar?"

"I just don't think that's the way I would say that." Rikku laughed and Paine smirked before leaning forward a little and pausing. "I'll take you to the stupid tree." She murmured. Rikku caught Paine's gaze directly and sighed. Paine closed the distance between them and pecked her lips. She almost leaned in to kiss her again when she remembered her mission. Paine cleared her throat a little and pulled away. "So I have to return some books to the bookstore…. You wanna come?"

"You stopped kissing me to talk about returning books?" Rikku laughed and shook her head. "No I don't want to go with you, weirdo."

##

"Cheers." Rikku picked up her glass of sparkling cider.

"You're really going to make me cheers you with this thing?" Paine looked at her small frosted mug in disgust.

"Yes." Rikku nodded. "Cheers me woman."

Paine picked up her non-alcoholic beer and clinked it against her girlfriend's glass. "There."

"Wait wait wait I didn't say to what yet, it's not good to just cheers for the hell of it."

Paine shook her head and picked up her mug again.

"To completing another semester, our health, and our happiness." Rikku smiled and clinked Paine's mug. "Cheers."

"Cheers." Paine couldn't help but smile at that. It was soon overturned though when she took a sip from the full mug. She made a face.

Rikku laughed behind her glass. "Is it really that bad?"

Paine nodded. "It's really that bad." She pushed it over to Rikku's side of the booth. "Here."

Rikku put her cider down and tried to sip as little of the liquid as possible. Once the chilled liquid slid onto her tongue though she knew Paine was not kidding. "Gah!"

Paine laughed. "Good right? Totally worth the five bucks."

"That's so bad…" Rikku put the mug down. "You could have had a Coco Moo for that much." She washed out the offensive taste with her cider. "How's your burger?"

"Pretty good actually." Paine picked up a sweet potato French fry and dipped it in some kind of spicy sauce.

"I see you got everything on there…." Rikku nodded slowly watching a few more toppings fall off the steak burger once Paine picked it up. "Lots of flavors…"

"I have gum."

The Al Bhed laughed a little at how Paine was able to read her mind. It was Rikku's last night in New Luca and they were trying out a new place downtown called Mayo. It was a few notches above Eveready diner, but nothing too fancy. Paine had just bought Rikku's Christmas gift online the other day and she wasn't about to try and go broke over a dinner. They sat across from one another in a booth made for two, with a wooden round table between them. They just got their entrées and specialty drinks a few minutes ago when Rikku decided a toast was in order. The blonde had her hair pulled all the way back in a high ponytail, and was wearing a flowing off the shoulder gray shawl and skinny jeans along with her heeled boots and small pearl earrings. She'd definitely been attracting some attention, especially when they walked past the small bar on their way to their seats. Paine was wearing a midnight blue cowl neck sweater and actually had her top right ear piercing in. She was wearing regular boots; Rikku was brave to wear heels out on the icy sidewalks.

"So how was your week? You seemed a little out of it today when I saw you."

"I stayed up real late studying, I was tired. I napped before I picked you up though." Paine picked up another fry.

"Have you been sleeping okay?"

Paine reached for her glass of water. "Um…Yeah."

Rikku chuckled. "I'm supposed to believe that? How is your sleep log going? The medication?"

Paine shook her head not really wanting to talk about that now. She had to say what was on her mind before she chickened out yet again. The talk she really wanted to have was not a conversation that you had on the phone while your girlfriend was miles away. "It's going okay, sometimes I'm tired sometimes I'm not… Same shit different day."

"But you're feeling a little better no? The two month thing will be over next month…"

She shrugged. "I guess I haven't really decided yet, but I haven't been feeling bad… so that's good right? Em says I might even get to take the stent out while you're gone if the margins look good, whatever that means."

"That's this week?" Rikku asked. "Oh no, Pai I really wanted to be there for you when you came out."

Pane waved her off. "You were there when I went in."

Rikku frowned anyway. "Yeah but…" She really looked upset about it. "You'll call me and stuff though right? When you go in and when you come out?"

"If you want me to."

"I do, I'm gonna worry about you until you call so just remember that."

Paine smiled a little. "You worry about me too much."

Rikku smiled back at her across the table and reached for her hand on top of it to play with Paine's digits. "You're my pypo though, it's my job to worry about you."

Paine rubbed Rikku's hand gently. "Try to have some fun though, you have to bring back those spices too, Gip bothers me every day to remind you."

Rikku nodded and let go of her hand so she could reach for her fork again. "Everyone has placed their orders except you."

Paine shrugged in thought. "I don't know babe."

Rikku waited until she was done chewing her food to speak. "I know what I'm going to bring you back."

"What?"

Rikku smiled. "I'm not telling you, it will ruin the surprise. Christmas is just around the corner."

Paine picked up another fry. "So… How was your week? Anything happen?"

Rikku narrowed her eyes a little at how Paine asked the question. Was she hinting at something or was it just her? "No, not really." She looked down at the side salad she was eating with her meal. "Leblanc's final was tough, I wonder how I did."

"Why don't you just ask her, she's always over now right?"

Rikku shook her head no. "I never talk to my professors, it's just something I started to do y'know. No talking means no misunderstanding of boundaries and avoiding a whole lot of mess."

Paine nodded. "I can see how you'd come about that… Have you been having those dreams?"

Rikku looked up at her. "Not lately." She then smiled at Paine. "I don't when you sleep over for sure."

"Me either."

"I guess that means we're compatible."

"Four and a half months later and you're now figuring this out?"

Rikku laughed and went back to her food. "Oh please, I've known that for way longer than you knew that."

They continued to eating and talking about their weeks, and plans for the five day span when they would be apart with limited communication. "So when it's day here it will be night there." Rikku informed. "My grandma is so excited Yunie and I are coming. She's making all our favorite foods."

"When is the last time she saw you all?"

"About two years ago, but I mean, I call her about two times a month just to make sure she's still there."

"So Yuna's mom was her daughter… Cid's sister?"

Rikku nodded. "His little sister, it's kinda funny though cause Yunie is your age. But yeah she died in labor… I can't think of any other way that's worse than that. I mean you prepare for this life to come into the world y'know? Then you get taken out of it before you get to meet 'em. It's kind of like A Summoner's pilgrimage?"

Paine nodded . "Mhm."

"Yunie likes history a lot, she always said if she were alive back then she'd be a Summoner, which is really ironic."

"She's half Al Bhed though."

"I know! We always joke that I'd be the one who tried to stop her."

"She was giving me pointers for my go-see the other day."

"Please tell me that's not next week too?"

Paine shrugged. "Yup."

"Ugh I feel like the worst girlfriend."

"Nah, you're pretty great. I'm just a little jealous; while I'll be here freezing my ass off you'll be enjoying the heat."

Rikku chuckled. "Got my bathing suits all packed up!"

"Yeah just don't go crazy over there."

Rikku continued to laugh. "What are the rules, Pai?"

"Rules? Well for starters you have to send me a picture of your outfit everyday so I know you're not walking around half naked." Paine joked.

"It's Home! Everyone walks around half naked!"

"I can already see we're going to have problems."

"It's the culture."

"Nakedness?"

Rikku giggled and reached for her cider before she choked on something. "No, being free to wear what we want. The Al Bhed were oppressed for years and still in some places today, but Home is a place where you can relax and be yourself."

"Let it all hang out?" Paine raised an eyebrow playfully. "That's what you're going there to do?"

"Oh my gosh."

"No, tell me." Paine tried to remain serious, but it wasn't working. Rikku laughing was like music to her ears, and besides the blonde looked hilarious trying to control herself. "You're going there to be a nudist. I mean I said I'd support whatever you wanted to do but don't you think you're asking too much of me?"

"You wouldn't complain if I was a nudist at your place, and how did we get from half naked to completely nude?"

"I'm already living with a nudist. You'd fit right in."

"So if I go nude one day you want a picture of that too?" Rikku asked.

Paine gave Rikku a crooked smile; a definite mixture of her flirtatious smirk and an honest smile. "It would make me feel better, yes."

"You're ridiculous."

The two finished dinner and then shared a slab of rich cream cake and each had coffee before Paine paid and they were bundled back up in their winter layers. Rikku in her red coat and dark brown leather gloves and Paine in her beanie, gloves, and coat that she'd had for a while now. She didn't care to buy a new one; this one was still as warm as ever.

"Two more blocks, Princess." Paine reassured when she noticed Rikku slowing down a little. She sniffled because of the cold and used her right arm to wrap it around Rikku's shoulders. Driving to Pavillian Center would have probably been a little easier; Mayo was a good ten blocks away. The first five were spent talking and then somewhere around block six Rikku quieted down. Paine wondered what she was thinking about, if it were about her heels scraping lightly against the ground or her long scarf, or the airship ride tomorrow morning, or maybe she was thinking about the book, about Paine, about their relationship. Paine had chickened out again at dinner. They were having such a nice time, she didn't know if whatever was on her girlfriends mind was negative or not. She had no way of knowing unless they talked.

What she did know is that she cared about Rikku more than she ever cared about anyone or anything. Paine needed to fix whatever was wrong because she knew her feelings for the blonde had gotten too deep to just be overturned by a misunderstanding or lack of communication.

They finally reached the grand Christmas tree in the center of Pivilian Center and Rikku lit up with excitant, tugging and pulling on Paine's arm so they could get closer. As Paine predicted the surrounding area of the tree was packed with tourists taking pictures, little children running around and all sorts of mayhem. She briefly wondered if Mackenzie had ever been to see the big tree.

"When's the first time you came to see the tree?" Rikku asked settling for a spot close enough to see the whole tree without having to strain your neck to look up at it.

Paine shrugged. "I guess when I was in high school."

"I can't imagine you as a pimple faced high schooler."

"You wouldn't like me, I was mean."

Rikku shook her head. "I don't know, I like you a whole lot."

"Now." Paine pulled her hand from around Rikku's shoulders to slip to her waist.

Rikku leaned into her a little. "What's the meanest thing you've done?"

"C'mon Rikks."

"I really want to know."

"Define mean."

"Alright." Rikku thought for a second. "Something that you didn't have to do, like you weren't provoked or anything."

"I once beat the hell out of this kid for looking at me funny." Paine nodded almost proudly.

Rikku looked horrified. "Paine!"

Paine shrugged. "You wanted mean right? Un-provoked. He could have just been looking at someone behind me or something, but I kicked his ass."

"It was a guy?... Have you ever hit a girl?"

Paine suddenly looked elsewhere. "I had a lot of fights growing up Rikks. The majority of them were provoked.. I never just, y'know it was always something… I'd never lay a hand on you you didn't want. You don't have to worry about me, like I said I've changed a lot since then."

Rikku reached her left hand behind Paine and rubbed her back. "I know you wouldn't, my thoughts never even went there, I was just curious…" Even now Rikku had a hard time seeing Paine as this drug addicted roughian. She never doubted that that's who she was back then, but she had always known the softer side of Paine. You want to know the meanest thing I've ever done?"

"Stealing jelly beans?"

Rikku chuckled. "Among other things, I had sticky fingers when I was little." Paine began to laugh. "I'd just take things, Pops couldn't understand why. "

"Princess from small huh? You thought the world was yours."

Rikku smiled and just hugged Paine around the waist. "We all change though, isn't it crazy?"

"Yeah." Paine agreed looking up at the tree. "What would you tell little you?" She looked back at Rikku.

Rikku did her classic thinking face where she pressed her pointer finger of her free hand to her lips. "I think that I would tell little me that it's okay to just be yourself, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I think little me would need that." Paine nodded. "You? Little Painey?"

"I think I'd tell her a lot of things, but I don't think she'd listen."

"Most important."

"Mmm that … It may not feel like it, but there is someone out there who understands you, who gets that you're not just some hood." Paine smiled softly at Rikku. "You just have to go through a whole bunch of crap before you meet her."

"Aww Pai."

"What? I was talking about Yuna."

Rikku playfully pushed her and Paine hugged her closer before pressing a little kiss on the side of her head.

##

Rikku was freaking out. "Okay okay…" She flipped a few more pages of the medium sized hard cover book she bought earlier that week. She ran a hand trough her hair lightly. "Element of surprise, she can't say no…." The blonde read. "Shower, check, shave…" Rikku looked down at her naked self. "Almost check…" She looked over to the bikini wax kit she picked up a few days ago for her trip to Bikanel. This was a new one that she wasn't familiar with; it couldn't be too different from the ones she was used to right? Rikku ripped open the box and tossed the instructions carelessly behind her.

Paine was on the other side of the door in Rikku's room. She was relaxing on her bed watching tv. Paine was already dressed down in baby blue basketball shorts a white v-neck shirt and socks. Rikku's room was well insulated and warm, a high contrast from the chilly winter night outside. It was like a little nest. Paine couldn't be more content.

She yawned but then jumped when she heard Rikku let out a small scream. Paine sat up. "Rikks?" She went over to the bathroom door and knocked on it. "You didn't fall in the toilet again did you?"

Rikku held her crotch and felt a few silent tears trickle down her cheek. She cleared her throat quickly "No no I'm fine, uh…" Rikku glanced down at the open page of the book sitting on her sink. "Make yourself comfortable…."

Paine nodded once. "Alright…"

Rikku knew this was either the stupidest or most brilliant thing she was ever going to do. Paine had been so amazing since the second day they ever talked, and they were going on five months soon! Sure they had their moments, but didn't ever couple fight a little? The bottom line was that Paine had made the effort, and through it all she hadn't asked for one thing in return. Rikku didn't know where she would be without her, she didn't want to know. The more Rikku thought about it the more the idea seemed more brilliant and less stupid.

"Ah crap." Rikku rubbed her eye when she almost blinded herself with her perfume she knew Paine liked most.

Ten minutes later Paine glanced at the bathroom door. Rikku was sure taking longer than usual in there. She stretched herself out a little more on her back and yawned again. Maybe she was doing her hair or something…

Rikku stared herself down in the full mirror over her bathroom sink. She had gotten more comfortable with her body over the past months in dating Paine. The silver haired woman wasn't shy about telling her how hot she was to her, but it was those moments when she spooned her and kissed the tips of her shoulders and sighed contently that Rikku really felt beautiful to her. Paine had always said she wasn't good at saying things, that's what made what Rikku was about to do a little more frightening. She was nervous to offer herself up like this, imperfections and all, Paine would see them and know them. Not to mention she had only gotten through chapter eight of the eleven chapter book. On the other hand Rikku couldn't be more confident that she wanted to be with Paine like this. They had always had this unspeakable connection, where words weren't needed. This was just another step in that direction. If it were anyone else she might have a problem. But this was Paine. The same woman who held her as she cried and held her even closer when she wasn't, because she knew that she was one bad dream away from reliving what had almost happened to her. At face value they were two very different people, but they worked, they just seemed to work. Rikku nodded to herself. They helped each other grow instead of harping on how life had been rough. Rikku really felt like Paine was her person. She loved her so much it hurt sometimes, and with that last thought Rikku knew she wasn't making a mistake.

She was ready.

"Now or never Bayla." She took a gulp of air and pushed the bathroom door open quickly and stepped into the room completely naked.

"Paine?" Rikku furrowed her eyes at her girlfriend lying on the bed. She took a few steps out of the confines of the bathroom and paused. "You gotta be kidding me..." She stomped over to the bed and sighed heavily at Paine's sleeping form. She was curled slightly and showed no signs of waking up any time soon. Rikku didn't know what to feel, for a few moments she just stood there in her birthday suit looking down at Paine sleeping. Finally she just laughed to herself.

This _would_ happen to her.

Rikku ran a hand through Paine's hair and smiled softly when her girlfriend curled up more. "You are so unbelievable." She murmured affectionately. Rikku covered Paine up and went to put some clothes on. After slipping into some boy shorts and one of her brother's old practice jersey's from when he first joined the major blitz league. Rikku set her alarm clock so she would wake up on time and then crawled under the covers beside Paine and fell asleep more sure than ever.

At some point in the night Paine woke up. She shifted to her side and smiled at Rikku sleeping on her stomach with her arms sprawled out. Paine moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her back. She had just grown so accustomed to cuddling by now. Rikku jumped a little in surprise. She had been in a very light sleep. "It's just me." Paine eased.

Rikku picked up her head. "Pypo?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Snuggles?" She asked; her voice was far off like she was still caught in a dream.

Rikku turned herself around to face Paine. "Yeah." Paine nodded "C'mere, Princess." She opened her arms and Rikku easily slid into her embrace. "You smell good." Paine observed taking in the floral spring scent.

Rikku giggled to herself and then just held Paine back. "I'm gonna miss you, Pypo."She nuzzled against Paine's neck.

"I'm gonna miss you too."

"I don't wanna leave."

"C'mon."

"I'm serious. This is the first time we'd be apart. No." She held Paine closer and Paine laughed a little, Rikku was obviously still half asleep. "I love you, Paine. I don't wanna be without you." She mumbled.

Paine froze and her eyes widened as Rikku yawned and cuddled against her more, falling back to sleep within seconds. Paine unlatched herself from the blonde and rolled to lie on her back in shock.

She loved her?

##

"What?"

"Fifty pounds!"

"How much!" Paine called.

"Fifty pounds, fifty!" Rikku hollered.

Paine squinted. "Sixty?"

Rikku stormed into the room with her toothbrush in her mouth. She put her palm up and then made a zero with her other hand.

Paine nodded slowly. "Fifty? Rikks I hate to break it to you but this is more than fifty pounds."

Rikku rolled her eyes and went back into her bathroom. "You're doing it wrong." She called a minute after spitting out her toothpaste.

Paine grumbled and then picked up Rikku's heavy suitcase from the scale. "And when we're late it's my fault. Fucking…" Paine continued to mumble but then just sighed and sat on the ground and opened the suitcase up. Rikku's stress was transferring to her and she couldn't let that happen, one of them had to be level headed here. Paine shook her head at what she found. "Rikku Milan…."

Rikku actually giggled in the bathroom despite her frustration. Paine had never called her Rikku Milan before. "Uh oh."

"At least twenty pounds of this is in shoes! Fucking heels and… you're going to the desert not the damn—"

Rikku popped her head out of the bathroom again. "Stop cursing!"

"Fuck!" Paine yelled just to spite her as she took out a pair of boots that had to be at least five pounds.

Seeing this Rikku ran into the room "No no no I need those for when I come back, Paine stop it!" Rikku whined as Paine took out pair after pair without acknowledging her hysterical girlfriend.

"You wanna pay a hundred extra bucks for these shoes that I know for a fact you will not wear."

"Yeah I'll pay the hundred bucks for extra options, it's the option fee."

Paine just continued readjusting the suitcase. "Don't worry about me, worry about getting ready in time to leave, Rikku."

Rikku wanted to put up a fight but she was running behind. She stood there a second longer before returning to the bathroom to put make up on.

After readjusting Rikku's suitcase and kicking the four extra pairs of shoes Rikku definitely didn't need to the side. Paine picked up the suitcase and put it on the scale from the guest bathroom. She glanced up at Rikku coming into the room again. "Forty nine pounds."

Rikku packed her toothbrush in her toiletries bag and carefully placed it on top of her suitcase.

"Fifty pounds exactly." Paine corrected herself.

"Thank you." Rikku smiled and reached for Paine's hand.

Paine leaned down the small distance and stole a minty kiss. "You're welcome." They smiled at each other for a second and then Paine broke the silence. "Um, Rikks…."

Rikku noticed the look in her eyes and looked elsewhere. "Ah you took out my house slippers." She noticed the small pile leftover shoes. She looked back at Paine and felt a little bad; the truth was that she didn't know if she wanted to talk about last night yet. "C'mon let's go downstairs and get some breakfast. Pops always makes a nice spread when we travel." Rikku let go of her hand and was beginning to leave the room when Paine spoke.

"You told me you loved me last night…" She had been struggling all night and all morning with her thoughts and finally Paine couldn't just not mention it. She watched Rikku's shoulders slacken a little. "You were kind of out of it so I don't know if you remember or—" Paine played with the hem of her shirt when Rikku cut her off.

"I remember." Rikku finally turned to face her. "I remember you not saying anything, I remember you moving away so…" Rikku actually looked hurt. "So I understand if you don't feel that way I just I don't want to talk about it now…so, yeah. Let's just go eat breakfast hm?" Rikku turned to leave again but Paine stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

"Hold on."

"Paine."

"No just, just sit down a second, please." Paine tried to catch Rikku's eye, and when she did she knew she had a chance to explain herself.

"You never say please." Rikku joked lightly as she came to sit beside Paine on the foot of her bed.

"Well I've never told anyone that I loved them either so…" Paine shook her head at herself and looked away from Rikku. "But I'm here, with you." She turned back toward her. "And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else because you… You make me happy, and strong, and responsible, and… whole, you make me whole Rikku, and I've been trying to find ways to show you, or tell you how I feel ever since I figured out I never wanted to feel incomplete again, and so I… It's just really hard for me to say things, I'm getting better but, I still…" Paine cursed under her breath and ran a hand through her hair. She was messing this up.

"It's okay." Rikku encouraged her to keep going. Seeing Paine struggle with her emotions was a relatively new thing. Either she'd just not say anything, or she'd distract herself from the important things. Therapy was helping a whole lot more than the silver haired woman realized.

"I still hesitate sometimes, I'm still trying to get used to the idea of you I guess. Having someone who means so much…" She chuckled despite her nerves. "But I know how I feel, and I know how I've been feeling, and I know… I know that I want to be with you for a real long time and… anyone else would just feel so wrong." Rikku was smiling adoringly at her now. It gave Paine the little push she needed. "So I..um…" She tripped over herself a little more still. "I love you too, y'know… I… love you… too." Rikku placed her hand on Paine's cheek and smiled widely at her, she was really trying to control it but she couldn't help herself. In that moment she just felt so overwhelmingly happy, Paine felt a tug pull at her lips upon seeing Rikku's battle, and soon she was smiling too. "Shit…"

"Not too bad, huh?" Rikku joked softly as she stared into Paine's warm eyes.

Paine chuckled. "No."

"C'mere." Rikku opened her arms and they hugged. When they pulled away Rikku found Paine's lips. Their kiss was painfully slow and full of so much emotion that even Paine was surprised. She wondered if this was what being in love felt like. The constant tightness in her chest whenever Rikku were around, and that sad empty feeling when she wasn't, was it that irrational worry she got whenever Rikku sneezed or took the steps on her staircase two at a time. Was that it? Or was it wanting to kiss her till she was blue in the face or being perfectly content and happy in an unfair world as long as she were holding her at night? Was it that special feeling whenever the blonde called for her specifically as if she needed her just as much as Paine needed her. Was it Sunday mornings when she slept over and woke to Rikku annoying her to get up for yoga. Maybe it was dancing with her all night even though she didn't dance. Or maybe it was being prepared to put out the world for a tear in her eye. Was that love? How exactly was this thing measured? How did Paine just know that no one else could make her feel like this? Maybe this was just one of those things that had no real answer. Maybe Paine just knew because she just knew.

Rikku smiled into the kiss as Paine wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer. Rikku laced her arms around Paine's neck and applied more pressure to the kiss. Paine pushed he mouth open with her lips and they both sighed in unison as their tongues met. Paine pushed Rikku on her back without breaking the kiss and just like that the mood hand changed.

One kiss was all they really needed lately.

It was almost like walking on egg shells; this game that they started to play ever since their third month anniversary when they almost had sex. The rules were simple; try and turn the other person on as much as possible without really doing anything. Paine would admit to being the loser many times. The kind of will power it took not to just rip Rikku's clothes off during the exchange was unbelievable. Especially when she started making those noises and scratching her scalp.

Paine felt different now though, she still wanted Rikku something awful, but now there was this calm over her, because she knew she had her, and it felt even better to be able to open herself up to something as crazy as love, especially for Rikku, it was really all for her anyway. To some it may seem easy to just be with someone, but Paine never really learned how easy it could be, she never learned, and throughout her childhood she viewed love as this evil thing. Why did she need it if it caused herself and so many others so much grief?

Rikku arched her back sharply not expecting to feel Paine's hands under the back of her shirt. She closed her eyes as Paine dragged her fingertips down her spinal cord. She wasn't at all prepared for how hot that single action made her. "I haven't even read chapter ten and eleven yet…"

Paine picked her head up from kissing Rikku's neck and looked down at her. "What?"

Rikku popped her eyes open.

_Did I just say that out loud!_

"Uh…" Rikku began. Just then the door knocked loudly snapping them both out of it.

"Milan! Let's go! I'm deducting the cost of the extra flight out of your account if you make us late!"

Rikku stared at the ceiling as she tried to calm herself down. She chuckled as Paine lazily rolled onto her back beside her. "Your dad is the biggest cockblock ever…" The Bayla men must have had a sixth sense or something, because between Cid and Kirill they tended to be in the wrong place at the wrong time every time. Paine was beginning to believe it was a set up.

"Milan!"

"Alright already! Keep your wig on Pops!" Rikku glanced at Paine and then propped herself up on her elbow. Noticing that Rikku had something on her mind Paine turned to look at her. The blonde got this unreadable expression on her face for a second, it made her look way older than she was. "You love me?" She finally asked.

Paine held her gaze and then nodded. All playfulness aside she realized that Rikku needed to hear it again. She needed to be reassured. She didn't want to be hurt and neither did Paine, it was serious question that Paine felt proud to answer without doubt. "I love you."

##

"Rikku your dad is watching us." Paine groaned as Rikku hugged her and puckered her lips for a kiss. It was enough a few other people were staring at them now. Rikku was definitely not giving her a friendly goodbye hug.

"So what?" Rikku loved embarrassing Paine, maybe it wasn't right, but she didn't care, her girlfriend, who loved her, had the cutest embarrassed blush in the world. "My airship could crash into a fiery heap of metal, and all I will be thinking on the way down is that gee, I really wish my pypo would have given me one last token of her affection so I can carry it with me to my—" Rikku was cut off by Paine pressing her lips softly against hers, solely just to shut her up.

Paine held a kiss for a little longer than necessary though. She had finally realized that she would miss Rikku a lot more than she first thought. When she pulled away Rikku smiled at her. "Happy?" Paine asked.

Rikku nodded and finally hugged her completely. "Very." Paine heard her whisper. She wrapped her strong arms protectively around Rikku. "I miss you already." Rikku said.

"I know."

"I'll call you when I get situated."

"Okay, have fun."

Rikku began to loosen her grip and chuckled when Paine didn't budge. "Aw, Pypo.." Rikku pressed her face on Paine's collar bone, taking in her scent and trying to commit it to memory for the long week. "I love you." She whispered for only her to hear, it still felt foreign to say out loud but she liked the ring of it. There was however one sound that she liked better and it was Paine's quiet reply.

"I love you too, Princess."

##

Cid laughed at his daughter who was sitting in the first class seat in the isle next to him beside his niece. , "Look at that face, Milan, it is only five days."

"It will be over with in no time." Yuna added finding it completely endearing that Rikku was sneaking glances at the pictures of her and Paine on her phone.

Rikku sighed. "I miss Paine already, like I actually really miss her…." She shrugged. "I'm gonna have fun it's just….I miss her…"

##

She wasn't prepared for how lost she was going to feel once the doors to the entrance ramp closed up and she was walking out of the airport to get in her car and drive home.

"What in the hell?" Paine asked herself as she got in her car and found herself just staring at the little chocobo plushie with its navy blue hood on the dash. "Get a fucking grip…." Paine tried again but she just sighed when she turned on the radio. It was locked on to one of Rikku's favorite stations. She was always messing with settings and stuff while Paine was trying to drive.

Paine listened to the annoying pop music all the way home.

##

"Knyhtsy!" Both Yuna and Rikku chimed in unison.

"So mujac, Mad sa kad y kuut muug yd oui dfu." The tanned older woman with braided silver and blonde hair pulled and tugged at the younger women in front of her. "Yunalesca, ruf oui muug mega ouin sudran suna yht suna ajano desa E caa oui." She pressed grandmother kisses on the taller of her two grandchildren. "Oui lid ouin ryen druikr? Fro?" She asked when noticing that the long single braid that usually followed her was shorter.

Yuna blushed and squirmed under her poking. "It was getting too long, Knyhtsy." She tried.

"Duu muhk? duu muhk?" Milana only shook her head and smiled. "Duu muhk, Oui ryja cilr bnaddo ryen, so tayn."

Rikku only giggled. The length of Yuna's hair had always been something the two never agreed on. "Rikku got a hair cut too." Yuna pointed out and laughed when their grandmother turned around to look at her.

"Hey!"

"Mother please, leave them alone they've just arrived." Cid came in carrying on of Yuna's bags. He placed the last of their bags down and walked over to hug his shorter mother and place a kiss on her cheek.

Milana Bayla shook her head but hugged her son closely. "Muug ruf dreh oui'na kaddehk. Ruf yna oui so cuh?"

"Well, Sus." He smiled. "Happy to be Home."

She nodded and patted his chest affectionately before turning back to the two girls.

"Thin? Pops is as big as a house!" Rikku shook her head but smiled.

"Rikku Milan, lusa rana, mad sa muug yd oui haqd." Rikku walked the small distance to her grandmother who was about the same height as she was and hugged her. "Ouin vydran ryc dumt sa oui'ja ryt y nuikr oayn. Ruf yna oui vaamehk?"

Rikku tensed and looked at her father who gave her a reassuring nod. "E's vaamehk paddan, cu silr paddan knyhtsy."

They hugged and kissed and hugged and kissed again. Milana Bayla looked well for her age, but Cid was worried about a bad spell of bronchitis his mother came down with a few months ago. She looked good though, and for that he was happy. He was also happy to get everyone together for this trip. With Yuna and Rikku graduating soon and starting careers of their own he didn't know how their schedules would look.

"Let's go see if she made toasties yet." Yuna motioned toward the large kitchen where she remembered spending her summers with Rikku and Kirill while her father was away on business.

Rikku nodded quickly. "Good idea!" The two snuck off as they often did as small children while Cid and Milana spoke quietly in the family house foyer.

After unpacking, enjoying quiet time with her grandmother in her well kept garden, a huge feast similar to the one they had for Harvest, and drinking mint leaf tea with everyone Rikku managed to slip away while Yuna and their grandma went upstairs into her jewelry box to talk accessories.

Rikku clutched her cell phone and stepped out onto the front porch alone. She was wearing only a thin and loose button up shirt with cloth short shorts and flip flops. She took a large breath and sat down on a wooden rocking chair for a few moments to just enjoy the desert breeze. Rikku strained a little to catch the moon's reflections on a group of sand hills in the distance. Her grandmother's house was in a little village right outside the main city of Home. It was where her deceased aunt and father grew up as children, and it was where she pulled most of her memories of living on Bikanel. She and her brother were born in the main city, but their mother's family preferred the country life as well. Rikku loved New Luca, there was always something to do or go see, but she felt most at peace here. It was quiet, and acted as a place to recharge and collect her thoughts; it had been two very long years since she had been here.

Thinking back to the bustling city made Rikku think of Paine. Paine would like this little town so much, she just knew it. She could see Paine sitting here right beside her, enjoying the small breezes with her arm around Rikku's shoulders and that far off look in her auburn eyes.

It was late here, which meant that it was really early in Luca. Rikku decided to give Paine a call. She didn't want to wake her, but she knew her girlfriend would be curious to see how things were going.

It rang a couple times, Rikku was about to hang up and just try again some other time when the line picked up and a sleepy Paine came on the line.

"Hello?"

"Pypo, it's me."

Paine smiled. "Hey Princess."

"I'm calling you because I said I was, and I miss you right now lots, were you sleeping?"

"I miss you too, Ri." Rikku could hear shuffling around. "Yeah I was, but I took a melatonin, so once we get off the phone I'll pass right back out again. How is it?"

"It's almost perfect."

"Almost?"

"Well yeah, right now I'm on the porch, my grandma has this nice one where everyone just sits in the mornings and stuff, but I'm out here alone."

"Be careful." Paine yawned. "Wild fiends."

Rikku chuckled a little. "There hasn't been a fiend sighting here in years, and anyway I'll be alright, I just wish you were here with me, I think you'd like Solae."

"That's the name of the town?"

Rikku nodded. "Yup. Tomorrow Yunie and I are going to hang out with Brother in Home city... Do a little shopping, then go to his place for lunch. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"You mean today."

"Eh same thing." Rikku waved her off with a small smile.

"Working out, pre-op check up with Em at three."

"So soon?"

"Yeah, they want to take the stent out as soon as possible, something about it damaging the new tube or whatever. My go-see is tomorrow though… I guess two days away for you?"

"About, Are you nervous?"

Paine shrugged and then yawned again. "Not really, either they like me or they don't y'know. I hope they do though, nice check would be coming in. It would help pay off some doctor bills."

"Yeah."

"So have you run into anyone you used to know yet?"

"Mmm no, tomorrow I might. Tonight was just a low key thing, we ate really good though, Yunie and I filled ourselves with toasties before dinner even started." Rikku chuckled. "Knyhtsy came in shaking her head at us like old times. Yunie and I really missed her."

"Did you make toasties for Harvest?"

"No, cause we'd never get anything else made. Their like little purses made of sweet dough, and you fill them with berries and spices then you toast 'em real quick. You can make them with meat and beans too, but Yunie and I like the dessert ones better."

"You're making me hungry."

"I bet Gippal knows how to make them."

"He's away on some farm to table thing with Clasko, he'll be back tonight though."

"Aww so you're all alone?"

"Nooj is gone, Elma's at work…"

"Where did Nooj go?"

"Gone for the week, he didn't say where. I think it's to visit his sister and her kids or something."

"Oh… How cold is it there?"

Paine huffed. "Why do you care? You're probably chilling topless in a thong or something right now.

"It's a cool 70 here." Rikku cracked up. "And no, I'm not wearing a thong, Paine Amelia."

Paine chuckled. "Too bad."

"Are you wearing one?"

Paine laughed a little more. "No, Princess, but I am sleeping in my underwear."

"It's freezing outside Paine, you'll catch a cold!"

"No I won't."

Rikku sighed and the two fell into a comfortable silence. Rikku yawned and then Paine yawned. "I'm gonna let you go back to sleep okay?"

"Mhm." Paine nodded already feeling her eyelids grow heavy. "You'll call me again right?"

Rikku chuckled at how cute she sounded. "Of course I will, sleep well…. Love you."

Paine smiled into her pillow. "Love you too, night baby."

"Night Pypo."

##

Paine pulled off her maroon beanie as she entered one of her favorite bagel shops Wednesday morning. She was downtown today for her go-see and decided to stop and get some breakfast with the time she had to kill. This modeling gig would mean she would be making a pretty penny for just walking at a couple events in the late winter and spring. Paine could really use the extra money, she had already planned what she was going to do with it when the time came but her main goal was to find her own place. She knew what kind of city she lived in, and she knew that anyone reading her resume would be more than happy to hire her until they saw where she lived. It was a move she had to make, and though she would miss every one where she lived now, there were certain things that she couldn't get away from fast enough. Every corner, every store front and alleyway held memories there, most not so good ones. She wasn't running away from her past, she was just ready to move on.

The woman in the corner booth sipping on a cappuccino froze. She placed her mug down and wiped the small milk foam from her lips with a napkin before leaning forward in her chair a little. That couldn't be her could it?

Paine ran a hand through her hair and tucked her beanie under her arm as she waited in line to order a bagel and coffee. Sensing that someone was watching her she glanced to her side at a collection of small booths. They were all packed so she couldn't really point out the one person giving her an anxious feeling. Paine sighed and pushed it away as nerves. "Hey, yeah, can I get whole wheat bagel, cream cheese, with chives and rosemary?"

"Anything to drink?"

"A small coffee, black."

"Alright." The pleasant barista handed over the small cup of coffee and Paine paid with cash. "Here you are." She returned a second later with Paine's freshly backed bagel and the herbed dipping spread.

Keira watched as Paine offered a small smile in thanks and went over to a smaller platform to get a plastic knife and a few napkins. She frowned when Paine turned from the dispensary to have someone knock right into her and spill the hot coffee on the ground without giving her so much as a glance in apology. Paine glared down the person, and for a second it looked like she was going to confront them but instead she just turned to get more napkins to clean up the mess. Keira moved to stand up but stopped herself when the friendly barista came from behind the counter to help. After getting a fresh cup of coffee poured Paine said something to the barista that caused her to smile and laugh a little. Then she was gone. Keira strained her neck to watch Paine leave and get into a dark blue car across the street.

She checked her time. She had rehearsal in about an hour but this couldn't wait. Photos were one thing, but seeing her in person changed everything. Keira picked up her cell phone out of her bag and went through her call history.

"Moore residence."

"May I speak with Paul please."

"Who is this?"

Keira paused that voice on the other line finally registering. "Ellen…"

"Keira Kerrigan… It seems every time we speak some one's life is being ruined. Who's is it this time?"

##

"Just shut up and drive the frickin' car, Wakka." Lulu crossed her arms over her swollen belly and looked out the window. It was sometime in the middle of the night and goddamnit if she didn't do this now she would lose all her sanity entirely.

Wakka sighed behind the wheel. "I just don't think you should be workin' yourself up like this, Lu." He glanced to the right at his girlfriend and sighed again. "At least buckle your seatbelt ya?" Lulu huffed and did as she was asked.

The car was deadly silent as the two waited for traffic to let up enough for them to make it to Lulu's parent's house. Wakka had never been there before but he was even more worried on what kind of fury his very pregnant and very hormonal girlfriend was preparing to unleash on her mother. The raven haired woman had woken him from his sleep and demanded that he take her over there.

The car finally pulled up to the lavish mansion of a house and Wakka turned off the ignition to the car. "Lu… You really wanna do this? I mean we can turn around still, that gate is still open ya? Maybe we should just y'know… go for ice cream or—"

Lulu sighed heavily and looked at him. "It's about ten degrees outside, Wakka. I don't want ice cream."

Wakka nodded. "Well alright, we could go and get something hot like… hot chocolate or…hot wings…hot dogs…?"

Lulu let up a rare smile. "I have to do this."

Wakka nodded. "I know." He checked the house again. "You sure dey home?"

Lulu pointed to a number of cars off to the side. "They haven't taken any of their cars."

"Cars?" Wakka looked to where Lulu was pointing and stressed the s on the word. He looked back to Lulu. "We had corned beef tonight and yuh dad has cars?"

"No one makes corned beef like you though."

Wakka smiled at her and got out of the car and went around helping Lulu out."Ready?" Lulu nodded and Wakka helped her to the door making sure she didn't slip on any ice on the way. Lulu pulled out a front door key and opened the door quietly. She could immediately hear the voices of her parents coming from the kitchen.

Wakka was too busy staring at the huge chandelier in the foyer to notice Lulu wonder off.

"You don't think you have already done enough?" Ellen Moore yelled. "You don't think she has already done enough?"

"Lower your voice!"

"I refuse!" Lulu could hear something being slammed down. "I refuse to continue on living like this."

"Living like what Elle? Haven't I given you everything you ever wanted? What? Now all of a sudden you aren't happy? I choose you! You! Okay?"

"And that's supposed to make me feel good? You cheating bastard—"

"I haven't cheated on you so much as looked at another woman in twenty one years!"

"You choose me though right? That's real rich Paul because I seem to remember already being married to you; I seem to remember us having Lulu already. Wasn't that enough! No, not for Paul Moore."

" Haven't I paid for my mistakes as a kid yet? I'm a grown man now and I love you and Lulu more than—"

"More than that fucking song bird of a woman."

"Stop it."

"You said that this was handled and over, why in the hell is Keira Kerrigan calling for you? Have you been lying to me this whole time? Do you have another family somewhere you'd like to tell me about?"

"Ellen, I swear—"

"No! Or what let me guess, you are having a change of heart now, twenty one years later. Shall I pack my bags and—"

"Paine!"

"What?" Ellen paused.

Paul ran a hand through his short black hair. "Paine…"

"…What? Rikku's friend?"

"Rikku's girlfriend." He corrected.

Ellen raised her eyebrows. "Rikku Milan is a gay?"

Paul looked up at his wife, neither noticing that Lulu was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "She came back, because of Paine."

Ellen Moore stayed frozen for a minute. "Paine… Paine…" She was fighting to remember the girl she met on Harvest Thursday.

"Kerrigan, Ellen. Paine Amelia Kerrigan…Twenty one year old, dark haired, crimson eyed, Kerrigan." Paul pulled his hands to his face and Lulu stepped forward when he let out a strangled cry. She had never seen him cry before. "She raises her eyebrows just like Lulu." Paul slammed his fist on the table where he was sitting. "Just fucking like her!"

Ellen stayed put on the other side of the kitchen. "I thought you handled tha—"

"I couldn't. I couldn't and Keira wouldn't. We…she… I….She had her; she had her and gave her up. I never thought that—"

"Ay Lu, there you are, ya? This place is like a maze! I'm surprised I found you…."

Paul and Ellen looked up to see their pregnant daughter and some tall red headed man standing in the kitchen entrance.

"Lulu, dear….H—"

Lulu glared at her parents. "Wakka?"

"….Yeah, Lu?"

"Take me home."

**AN: Don't really have an author's note lol Do I ever? But I hope you all have reviews for me!**

**KathleenDee**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty Five**

**This chapter is rated M...enjoy!  
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Rikku laughed loudly and then quieted herself down when she remembered what time of night it was. "You didn't." She whispered into her cell phone.

Paine was sitting up in her bedroom thousands of miles away with a glass of water in front of her. It was the only thing she was allowed to have since her surgery was later that day. "I swear to Shiva that's exactly what I did."

"You're so crazy. Yunie is going to freak out when I tell her."

"Don't forget to tell her that they called me back for another meeting to get my sizes before she tries to kill me."

Rikku giggled. "I just can't believe you did that."

"Yup. So this is good news, hopefully they don't screw up today and kill me."

Rikku's smile fell. "Paine."

"I'm sorry, I'm just in a good mood babe, Em get's to scrub in, so she'll be pretty much be seeing me as naked as it gets."

"Down to the renal tissue, damn I'm so jealous."

Paine chuckled a little. "I'll call you when I get out—"

"And go in, and when you're stable and allowed to eat solids, did you give Elma my number?… Don't roll your eyes at me."

"How did you even know I was?" Paine asked slightly amazed.

"In a week and a half we'd be together for almost half a year, give me some credit."

Do they really need to call you though?" She almost whined.

"Yes, Pai. Do you want me to be worrying all day about you?"

"Well at least it would mean you were thinking about me."

Rikku smiled. "I already think about you all day…and night."

Paine began to smirk. "Night time too huh? Do you ever act on these… thoughts?"

"Sometimes."

Paine's smirk fell. "Really?"

Rikku laughed. "I'm going to sleep now."

Paine began to grin again. "Goodnight baby."

"Don't forget to ca—"

"Call you. I will, I promise."

Satisfied with Paine's word Rikku snuggled down into her bed in her father's old room which now acted as a guest room. "Say it."

Paine made sure her room door was closed. "I love you, Rikku Bayla."

"I love you too, Paine Kerrigan."

##

Paine shook her head slowly at her best friend. "Gip, I really don't think that's a good idea."

Gippal grinned. "It's the best idea."

"You've had some pretty shitty ideas before…"

"And then I've had some great ones."

"Name them."

"That one time we talked Lai into trying to buy porn from that one place." Paine began to laugh remembering the young boy blushing as he tried to explain to his mother why exactly he was stealing from an adult shop. "That one time we went snowboarding over the border." Paine nodded remembering that trip, they were stoned the entire way and yet from some reason she remembered it all."Panty droppers."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I made that drink for Rikku."

"Yes but if it wasn't for _my_ open bar you guys wouldn't be together."

"You just wanted to get in her pants."

"Who's pants?" Elma asked as she walked into the holding room where Paine had been prepped for surgery.

"No one's" "Rikku's" The two said in unison.

Elma paused and then nodded at the two. "What are you guys up to?"

Gippal shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

"Gippal wants to light up tomorrow night. I think he seems to forget that we're in a hospital, where I'm about to have surgery…again."

"Minor surgery." Gippal reminded. "Hey while you guys are in there, you mind taking the stick out her ass. Ever since she and Princess have started up, the Gipmister has been pushed to the curb."

"Don't call her that."

Elma raised an eyebrow. "The Gipmister?"

"You sound like a jealous ex." Paine shook her head as she watched Elma check off a few things on her chart. "Tell him he's crazy."

"Mm, not entirely."

"Ha!" Gippal clapped

"What?"

"Well considering this surgery is way less invasive than the first, you should be able to leave tomorrow morning, and since it's a shorter time frame you'll be in a little more pain than normal. We can't give you the good stuff till you come out of surgery, and that's only if you need it. I don't see how a little cannabis would do harm, if anything it would relax your system more, reduce the possible risk of serious inflammation..."

"You're kidding me." Paine just stared at Elma for a second. "Are you prepared to repeat that? Something tells me Rikku is not gonna believe me."

"Who gives a fuck what Cid's girl thinks? She's a bajillion miles away. The Paine I know would smoke anyway."

Paine pointed to herself. "I give a fuck what she thinks, and I am going to smoke, I just wanted to make sure I had my chocobos all lined up so I'm not sleeping on the couch in my own home again."

Gippal laughed remembering coming home to Paine on the couch one night during the summer. He stepped closer to the bed and ruffled Paine's hair annoyingly. "I need to go place an order. I'll see yuh when you get out Painey."

"Stop calling me that." Paine crossed her arms and Gippal moved to leave. He hesitated near Elma but then just shrugged and left like she wasn't even in the room. "So this thing looks good right? Nothing I should know about?"

Elma smiled lightly down at her. "You'll be fine. I came in here to set you up and wheel you to the fishbowl."

Paine nodded. "Alright, let's just do this already."

##

"I got the call right before I woke up." Rikku nodded as she added chili sauce on her fried eggs.

Yuna was sitting beside her in the kitchen wearing only a short house dress and some sandals. Rikku was wearing her yellow bikini top and some shorts. The two cousins chatted idly while their grandmother worked around them beginning to prepare lunch for everyone who was coming over. A lot of old family friends who heard the girls and Cid were in town were coming over to spend the afternoon. Cid and Kirill had gone into the city to pick up fresh tomatoes and fish and supposedly bond. Rikku was surprised to find out that it was Kirill's idea and not her father's.

"So she should be getting out soon?" Yuna asked adding more tabouil to her plate. There was really nothing like her grandmothers cooking, she felt like she were being spoiled. Rikku nodded. "That's good to hear, even better to hear that she got the modeling gig…even though she did the complete opposite of everything I told her."

Rikku chuckled and reached for her glass of sweet tea with mint leafs floating in it. She finished the glass and as if on cue, Milana Bayla walked by with the pitcher to refill it. "Dryhg oui, Knyhtsy."

"Uv luinca, tayn."

Rikku took a few more sips from her refilled glass. "Paine is going to do what Paine wants to do. I can only try and sway her opinions on things long enough. She's so stubborn." Rikku forked up some more eggs. "How's Tidus? He didn't come to the airport to say bye?"

Yuna sighed. "I don't know where his head is lately."

"Blitzball?"

Yuna chuckled."Probably, we kind of got into an argument about what the next step for us was."

"It's only winter vacation though."

"I know, that was my side of it. I mean I love him but I had plans before we even met and well, it seems like sometimes he forgets that and just thinks I'll follow him anywhere."

"Would you?"

Yuna was quiet. "I couldn't say."

Milana cleared Yuna's plate when she looked like she was done. She was in her cleaning mode and that was the signal to hurry up and finish eat so she could use the table to roll out flat bread. "Hajan keja ib ouincamv vun cusauha amca Yunalesca, dra uhmo drehk dryd femm knuf eh dryd namydeuhcreb ec ahjo yht bedo... suja ouin ynsc cu E lyh naylr druca lnispc. E cfayn oui du muca ymm ib pnehkehk frah oui lusa pylg rana. E tuh'd aqbald yho paddan vnus dfb fusah fru fana nyecat po sah. Rikku dryd sayhc oui duu, lusa yht feba tufh dra dypma vun sa."

Rikku began to whine. "But Knyhtsy. Yunie—"

"Yah." She cut off giving her granddaughter a look. "Hu ricpyht ec kuehk du fyhd y fusyh fru tuach'd ghuf ruf du lmayh."

"I'll hire a maid." Rikku grumbled but stood and did as she was told.

Yuna only chuckled. Rikku swore that her grandmother liked Yuna better. Something about her being her first girl granddaughter from her only girl daughter. Of course it wasn't true. Milana just pushed Rikku a little more because out of her three grandbabies, she was the one who was spoiled rotten as a little girl. She more so saw it as character improvement. Cid thought it was hilarious. "There'd have to be a husband first, Rikku." Yuna jabbed as she picked up her glass of iced tea from the table when she stood.

"Minor details, Yunie." Her cousin chuckled when she realized what Yuna had meant. "Paine already knows I'm high maintenance. I'm sure she'll plan accordingly."

Just then Rikku's cell phone went off. Rikku glanced at her grandmother who was at the kitchen stove stirring a pot. She glanced at Yuna who gave her a nod and took the rag from her hand. "I owe ya one." Rikku smiled and left the room while answering her phone. "Hello?"

"Hello may I speak with Rikku Bayla please?"

"This is she."

"Oh, wow, Rikku you just sound different on the phone. It's Elma."

"You do too, all professional and stuff. How's it going?"

"Well I'm here with Paine. She just got out of surgery, she's a little doped up, but I just wanted to tell you that everything is okay. We're very optimistic."

"Oh great. That's good news. Is she talking?"

"Yeah, a little too much if you ask me." Rikku chuckled. "Would you like to try and have a quick word before I let her sleep?"

"Yes, thank you."

"No problem. Here Paine, its Rikku."

"Rikku?" Paine asked into the phone.

Rikku laughed. "You alright baby?"

"I'm so good. Look Rikks I gotta tell ya, if I didn't know you and shit, I'd totally be in here flirting with all these pretty nurses…"

Rikku burst out laughing. "Take it easy over there you."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, how do you feel, my love?"

"I feel like… I feel like and apple…just sedimentary and what not."

"You feel like an apple?"

"…Like a potted plant or something…Elma says my eyes are blue, I don't know how that could be because they're not blue Rikks. You'd tell me if my eyes were blue, right? I mean I know your eyes are green… And Gippal's eyes are green… hey wait a minute, you guys aren't related are you? My eyes can't be blue Rikku; you said you liked dark eyes. Blue isn't dark—"

"Paine Paine Paine." Rikku laughed as she tried to slow her down.

"Yes?"

"I think it's just an expression for how stoned you are."

"An expression?"

"Yes, Baby."

"….Oh."

Rikku giggled. "I love you, I'm gonna let you get some rest now okay?"

Paine tilted her head. "Well I love you too Rikku."

"I know."

"You do?" She sighed in relief. "That's real good."

Rikku smiled. "Sleep well okay?"

Paine was quiet for a second. In the background Elma could be heard laughing and telling Paine to stop trying to take off her bandages. "Huh?"

"I said sleep well."

"Oh alright. You gonna be here when I wake up?"

Rikku frowned a little. She knew Paine made a big deal about not caring if she were there or not, but this was just proof that she _did_ want someone there with her. "No Pypo,"

"No? How come?" Her tone dropped a little in sadness.

"I'm in Bikanel. But I'll see you real soon okay?"

"Yeah okay."

"Don't be sad."

"I'm not sad Rikku, I'm not."

"Alright, I'm hanging up now."

"Alright, bye."

##

"I can really get used to this." Yuna and Rikku clinked ice tea glasses as they sat outside on the porch late that evening.

"Yeah, too bad it's almost over."

"Then it's back to the cold…" Rikku shook just thinking about it.

"But back to Paine." Yuna reminded.

"Yeah. Did I tell you about my failed attempt to seduce her?"

Yuna laughed. "No I have yet to hear this grand story."

"Yunie I did everything that damn book told me to do. I even almost put little Rikku out of business trying to shave down there." Yuna continued to laugh; she swore she had the most boring life compared to everyone around her. "So then I give myself the greatest pep talk known to man and I bust outta the bathroom completely naked—"

"Completely naked?"

Rikku nodded. "Completely naked."

"Wow." Yuna nodded taking another sip from her iced tea.

"And so I walk over and low and behold, she's sleeping." Yuna laughed. "Sleeping while I stood over her completely naked. I thought about just jumping her, but you never can tell with Paine's reflexes. She'd probably toss me off the bed before even opening her eyes."

"You two are unbelievable."

"You're telling me. What was it like with Tidus the first time?"

"The first time? It was really sweet. He came over and brought flowers and we were went out on a date to see an opera I know he didn't even know what was going on through it. But he went and sat still during the whole thing, and when we came back it just… happened." Yuna shrugged.

"Aww."

"It was really romantic." Yuna smiled remembering the time months ago.

"We should all go and see a winter production."

"Well we were anyway right? That means we have to buy evening gowns." Yuna suddenly got excited. "I got an email about this new boutique opening up. When we get back we'll have to check it out."

Rikku nodded. "Busy busy busy. I still have to decorate the house for the holidays. Yevon knows Pops is no help ever. Last year at least I had Matilda the house lady to help, but now that he let her go it's going to be a monster."

"Well if we coordinate it well enough I can help you. Father and I don't even bother anymore."

"Yeah because you guys are always over at our place."

"You could get Paine to help too."

"Ehh, she might break up with me."

Yuna laughed. "That's right you are a bit of a tyrant with these things."

"A tyrant? Really Yunie?"

Yuna shrugged. "But she did help you move your entire room around that one time. You two weren't even going out then."

Rikku thought about it. "That is true…."

The two were quiet for a moment. "Grandma asked me who Paine was while you were on the phone this afternoon."

Rikku sat up a little. "Really?" Yuna nodded and Rikku swallowed hard. "What did she say… what did you say?"

"I said she was a very close friend of ours."

Rikku relaxed in her chair a little. "Thanks."

"No problem." Yuna thought for a moment. "Though I don't think it really matters. I think she already knows."

Rikku sat up again. "How can you tell?"

Yuna chuckled a little. "Well she understands Common so she hears when we talk about her. Then you come out here at night to talk to someone all quiet and stuff. When I was finished talking she asked me if Paine was Al Bhed too."

Rikku laughed and put a hand to her face. "Good grief that's all she cares about huh?"

Yuna joined in her laughter. "It seems so, but she also asked me if you were happy."

"Yevon, she _does_ know."

"I think she's just waiting on you."

"She's one cool old lady, even though she's always making me do things."

"I think if we shaved off about twenty years her boyfriend would be good looking."

Rikku laughed. "I was thinking the same thing! You saw how Pops was glaring at him at lunch today? Priceless!"

"Their old people cute."

"They really are."

##

"On one hand it makes sense….But on the other hand I don't want it to… What about this one?" Lulu motioned to a crib.

Wakka scratched the back of his head when he noticed the price. "This lil guy is gonna be small for about a year ya? Why can't we just put him in a fruit bowl or something, it would be cheaper."

Lulu just looked at him. "Sometimes I really wonder about how capable you will be as a parent."

"Ah c'mon Lu, look at this thing. It's more than we pay a month in rent. Don't they have a little something…"

"Yes, why don't we just skip all of this and go look at baby coffins." Lulu said sarcastically. "I'm sure we could find something a lot cheaper there, Wakka." Lulu crossed her arms and looked away from him. "Why don't you make yourself useful and go buy me a taco."

_**Thirty minutes later **_

"I wasn't sure which one you wanted….so I bought them all." Wakka explained sheepishly as he placed the greasy paper bag down in front of her at the small food court.

"All?" Lulu peered into the bag. "The entire menu Wakka?"

Wakka shrugged and sat across from her. "Well yeah, whatever you don't eat I'll eat or we can save for later. I know how the other night that rice pudding made you sick…so there is no rice in any of this stuff. I asked them to take it out."

"You asked them to take out the rice after they made them?"

"Well yeah, I forgot the first time."

Lulu shook her head and smiled at him. "That was sweet of you."

Wakka grinned when he got a little kiss on the cheek from Lulu. He frowned though when he noticed her face after a few minutes. "What's wrong?"

Lulu sighed and pushed her half eaten taco away. "How am I supposed to eat knowing what I know?"

Wakka wiped his chin of green chili sauce and sighed. "Diss about the other night?" Lulu nodded. "Why won't you just tell me what you heard? It's been eaten you up for days now, yuh dad won't stop calling the house…"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't keep a secret."

"I so can keep a secret." He protested.

Lulu gave him a look. "You can't."

"Alright so maybe I can't, but we're havin' a baby together ya? That means I gotta know stuffs."

Lulu sighed. "You'll know eventually."

"Eventually is good but—"

"I just need time to think on this okay? Everything I thought I knew isn't what I thought I knew, and the right thing to do seems like the wrong thing to do, and I just. I just need a minute."

##

'I feel dirty…." Paine said as she watched Gippal roll up the celebratory joint.

"How dirty?"

"Like… South Berkshire dirty."

Gippal let out a chuckle. "Fuck, that place is dirty."

"I know."

"What are you worrying about? Em said this is fine, hell it may even help. You still feeling a little pain?"

Paine touched her hand to her back lightly. "Yeah." The surgery had taken only an hour, and they hardly had to open her up to do it. But urinating for the day after burned and her back ached like no other.

"Alright then. I'm gonna roll this joint, we're going to smoke it, and then we're going to eat the hell out of that pizza I just ordered. I even have ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. AND I picked up that one trippy kid show on DVD."

"Gumby?" Paine asked with a small laugh. "That shit is so weird to watch high…. I just… I don't know. Rikku doesn't mind me smoking…I don't know, I guess, it's just that I haven't done it in so long because I wanted to—"

Gippal finished rolling the spiff and put it in his mouth. "Cid's girl aint here, for the thousandth frickin' time." He lit it and blew out the smoke with a small cough. "Almighty Maesters of Yevon, what happened to your balls?"

Paine shrugged. "They shrunk?"

"Damn right they shrunk, now here."

##

"This is so fucking crazy." Paine mumbled to herself as the clay monster on the screen jumped through another book to chase the green hero and his clay horse, Poky.

Gippal sat slouched right beside her. "I'm never reading a book ever again." He agreed. "I can't believe they put this stuff on cable TV for children to watch."

Paine turned to look at him. "When is the last time you picked up a book?"

"Do cookbooks count?"

"No."

"Porn?"

"Those are magazines…"

"With articles!"

Paine huffed and focused her attention back on the TV. "Rikku reads porn…"

Gippal burst out in loud laughter and soon Paine couldn't help herself either. "Ah what the fuck Dr. P? Please tell me you did something useful with that piece of information?"

Paine shook her head. "Well it might as well be porn….A Lady's Guide to doing your lady…. Or something like that…."

Gippal seemed to think the title was just about the most hilarious thing in the world. He didn't stop laughing until the episode of Gumby was finished. "Poor lil thing is just nervous."

"Yeah well. I'm kinda nervous too." Paine pressed play on a new episode and took a huge gulp of water to temporarily cure her cotton mouth.

"I don't see why. You and Dona fucked a mi— "

"Yeah but this isn't fucking. This is like invested feelings and tension and just everything in a huge bowl and I'm afraid that I'll do something or say something because there are expectations in this, never mind that I never hooked up unless I was on something, there is no excuse for poor performance." Paine was freaking out in her own little world.

"Jesus, listen to you eh? You love this chick or something?"

Paine shrugged. "Well, yeah."

Gippal was quiet for a while then all of a sudden bolted up from his seat and disappeared for his room. Paine took another larger gulp of her water and swished it around her mouth before swallowing. Gippal returned a minute later with a case.

Paine pointed to it. "That's not another gun is it?"

"No." Gippal sat down on the couch next to Paine again. "I'm gonna give you one of my most famous good luck charms."

Paine made a face. "You? Good luck?"

Gippal nodded. "Think about it, successful two star restaurant going on three this spring, handsome good looks, good friends, I'm not in the poor house neither."

"And it's all because of whatever's in that box?" Paine raised an eyebrow. "What about you just being a hard worker with something to prove?"

"Nah." Gippal shook his head from side to side. "It's all in the box."

"You're full of shit."

"Maybe, but it's a placebo right?" He opened the box and pulled at the world's tiniest spoon.

"A spoon…"

"A demitasse spoon."

"Okay so it's a little spoon with a fancy name."

Gippal rolled his eyes. "When I was fourteen I found this spoon at a bus stop—"

"A little crack spoon with a fancy name."

"Just shut up and listen."

"Fine fine."

"The person who was sitting next to me waiting for the bus was this suit. I mean damn this guy had it all together, he was patting his pocket and saying that he would make the meeting and pull in such and such client because he had his lucky charm."

"You stole someone else's good luck charm?" Paine raised her eyebrow even higher. Sometimes she wondered where she found Gippal in the first place.

"He fucking dropped it. I swear this spoon is magic."

Paine waved him away. "You're high."

"Okay so tell me how the next day I just happened to be automatically placed into the culinary program at school?"

"You weren't smart enough for woodshop?"

Gippal clamped the lid of his good luck charm down. "Y'know what? Fuck you, I hope you can't get it in, how's that!"

"That's just mean."

"You were dissing my spoon!"

"It's a crack spoon Gippal, it's not good luck!"

"Whatever!"

After eating half the pizza with Gippal and drinking about another gallon of water Paine passed out in her bed only to wake up feeling groggy. She noticed how the dim blue light outside of her room window came in and blanketed everything blue. Paine sighed and rolled over onto her back and paused when there was no pain. "Huh…" She rubbed at the area a little harder and then regretted it. Just then her phone began to buzz on her nightstand. "Paine." She answered.

"Hey Paine, its Tidus."

"Who?" Paine asked just to mess with him.

"..Tidus…"

"Tidus?"

"Yeah…We go to school together, we work together….Our girlfriends are cousins! Paine it's me!"

Paine began to laugh. "I know it's you, you idiot, what do you want?" She began to get out of bed.

"Nothing much, heard you had your surgery thing, thought I'd call to see how you were…"

The line was quiet for a moment. Paine realized that she was it getting used to have people care about her like this. "Went good, I'm feeling better. I have a post op thing tomorrow morning before I go to pick up Rikku at the port. Cid decided to stay for an extra night to help his mom with some moving furniture or something."

"Yeah Yuna told me, so I was thinking, maybe we could go together to pick them up."

Paine shrugged. "Fine, but we're taking my car."

"Fine? Just like that?"

"Yeah, anything else before I change my mind?"

"MMmm nope."

"Bye." Paine hung up on him before tossing her phone on her bed and heading to change her bandages and shower. When she got back she noticed that she had a missed call from Rikku. Paine didn't think to check the time until she heard Rikku's sleepy voice come on the phone.

"Helwo?" Rikku rubbed her eyes.

"Damnit Babe did I wake you up?" Paine asked softly after checking the time and then doing the conversion over to Bikanel time. It had to be early in the morning.

"Mhm." Rikku mumbled as she turned over on her other side. "But I called you like an hour and a half ago so it's okay."

Paine tried to ease herself into some shorts without bending her back too much. "You want me to let you go back to sleep?"

"No no, I wanna talk to you." Rikku yawned. "Today was just a long day…. How are you feeling?"

"Groggy as hell, Gippal and I had a fat spiff earlier today."

"You smoked?"

"Yeah… That's okay right? You're not mad?"

Rikku chuckled a little. "No, but you know you shouldn't be."

"Em says it was okay to do it for the pain and stuff…It helped me relax a little too. I don't see anything wrong with it once and a while."

Rikku yawned again. "Me either, and if Elma said it was okay then okay. You just never know with these medications and what doesn't go well with what…. You said you needed to relax? You were stressed?"

Paine shrugged and sat down on her unmade bed. "Yeah, I always am around this time of the month with bills and stuff, doesn't help at all that my back hurts and my girlfriend is half way across Spira."

"Aww, Pypo. You miss me?"

"Of course I do." Paine answered softly. "I'm glad you're coming home tomorrow,"

"Well I missed you too; I think I'm spoiled because I realized that I hate sleeping alone." She kicked her feet out lightly where they would have hit Paine if she were in the bed with her.

Paine moved to lie down and just enjoy the sound of her Rikku's voice as they talked. They talked about their times apart, about Paine's surgery and how fast it went by, about Rikku's long day of running around with her brother and seeing a few old friends. Paine found herself covering back up under the covers and deciding that once she got off the phone with Rikku she would go to sleep. The blonde had a long flight back that day, and then a million and one things to do when she got back, Paine had begrudgingly agreed to help her with everything.

"I have a confession to make." Rikku murmured. It was getting pretty late and nether had hung up yet.

"What's that?"

"I bought this book, from the bookstore on how to have sex with a woman…well how to seduce one at least."

Paine smiled; she knew the blonde would tell her sooner or later. It wasn't like her to keep things from Paine. "I know."

"You knew!" Rikku was suddenly awake. "How?"

"Baralai told me he saw you that same day."

Rikku made a small growling noise. "I knew he was up to something… Wait, you knew this whole time I had it and didn't ask me about it?"

"I didn't want to embarrass you or anything. I mean I will admit that it messed with my head a little. If you weren't happy with things…"

"I'm so happy with you, Pai. It's just that…" Rikku sighed to herself, no going back now. "I've just been nervous about not knowing what to do."

Paine sighed as well. "Baby you don't have to worry about that. It's our first time…

"My."

"I've never done anything unless I was on something. Martha said that that was my way of protecting myself against feelings or whatever. But I care about you a lot, and I'm not used to any of this emotion crap.. It's… kinda like mine too."

Rikku smiled to herself. "You're nervous too?"

Paine nodded; glad that they were finally having this discussion. "Yeah."

"Well now I just feel silly."

"What? Why?"

"Because, I should have just talked to you about it before I spent 15 bucks on that book."

Paine chuckled and then grew serious again. She messed with a fraying end of her blanket as she talked. "So… you think you might be um… ready?"

Rikku blushed into her pillow. "I think so."

"I mean we don't have to do anything now…" Paine added quickly.

"Well it would be kind of hard to over the phone."

Paine blushed. "Yeah, I mean that we can wait…"

"For what?"

"For…um… I don't know Rikks."

"I love you."

Paine smiled. "I love you too."

"So we established that."

"Yeah."

"So I think if we both look into our schedules—"

Paine chuckled. "I'm not scheduling sex with you."

"Why not?"

"That's weird. No one does that."

"A lot of people do it."

"Who?"

"… "

"Exactly. I think that… I mean if it happens it happens and we shouldn't try and… I don't know."

"Are you blushing right now Ms. Kerrigan?" Rikku grinned; she could hear it in Paine's voice.

"No."

"That's too bad; you're really cute when you blush."

Paine rubbed at her cheeks. "I'm not blushing!"

"Alright alright… So…."

"So… "

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow…or today I guess."

"Yeah five days is a long time."

Rikku chuckled. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Princess."

"Will you come to the theatre to see a winter production with Yunie and Teedus and I? Yunie and I go every year, it's usually the nutcracker or something, but it's usually really fun and everything. It would just be nice to go with you."

Paine laughed. "You would think you were asking me out on a first date or something. Of course I'll go."

"Good, 'cause I already got your ticket."

Paine shook her head.

##

Yuna came out first. "Yuna!" Tidus waved down his girlfriend and the brunette sped up her stride to get to him. She was sporting a very nice tan. When she was done hugging him she turned to Paine and hugged her. Paine stiffened a little in the beginning but then hugged her back.

"It's so good to see you."

"You too, Rikku?" Paine asked.

Yuna laughed. "She got into an argument with the pilot about airship technology. She'll be out soon."

"I missed you so much babe." Tidus said hugging her again.

"I missed you too."

Just then Rikku could be seen pulling along her carry on suitcase. She was dressed in some jean shorts and a tank top with her long blonde hair out instead of her usual up do. Paine just shook her head. She was going to freeze in those shorts.

Rikku looked up and her eyes met with Paine's. Her charming Bayla smile was soon in place as she calmly walked over to Paine and threw her arms around her neck. "Pypo!" She greeted. Paine wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Princess." They were both smiling like idiots at one another by now. Paine had almost forgotten how beautiful her girlfriend was. Pictures just didn't do her justice.

Rikku laced her fingers together at the back of Paine's neck and kissed her deeply. "How I've missed you." She whispered. Paine murmured that she had missed her too and held her closer. It felt so good having her back in her arms. Paine couldn't believe the difference. She was warm to the touch and smelt like spring flowers, sand, mint, and lime. It was an intoxicating combination that she knew only existed when the Al Bhed went Home.

Tidus and Yuna chuckled as the two started to kiss again. "Ahem!" They broke apart. "We parked in timed parking remember, Dr. P?" Tidus asked.

Paine nodded "Oh yeah," was all she could really say. Rikku had this spark in her eyes that made her forget that they were at the airport of all places. Paine shook her head to clear her mind. "Let me help you with your bag."

"Thanks." Rikku smiled as Paine took control of the rolling bag.

"Remember those boots that I took out of here before you left? I have them in the car. You can put them on since you forgot to dress warm."

"Eh, I'll be okay," Rikku waved her off while taking her free hand and holding it. Some people were looking at them, but she could care less. She had had a fun and relaxing trip, but her mind was constantly on Paine. If she were okay, what she was doing, what she would think of something. Holding her hand was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to things she wanted to do.

"How was the flight?" Tidus asked the two as they moved through terminal after terminal.

"Long." The cousins said in unison.

"What's this about you fighting with the pilot?" Paine asked looking over at her girlfriend who was also sporting a darker tan than her usual year round one.

Rikku rolled her eyes and smiled at Paine. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about that."

Yuna only laughed.

##

"Rikku this is why cars have doors—Ow!"

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry I'm sorry." When she finally climbed from the back seat to the front she grabbed Paine's head and started kissing it where she elbowed her.

"Stop it, just stop it!" Paine pushed Rikku away and the blonde giggled. "Yevon almighty…" Paine muttered as she rubbed the side of her head.

Rikku turned to wave goodbye to Yuna and Tidus until later in the evening when they all were going to come over to help her decorate. "Aw." Rikku said when Tidus shyly pointed to a mistletoe on Yuna's doorstep. Rikku turned to Paine who was driving and placed an innocent hand on her thigh. "I'm here!" She announced happily.

Paine chuckled despite her head injury. She surprised Rikku by picking up her hand and holding it the majority of the short drive to Rikku's house. "My hoody is in the back there too." Paine said when Rikku began to try and put on layers. She was already wearing snow boots and was now slipping into Paine's hoody before she braved the thirty degree weather in shorts.

Rikku smiled when they got into the quiet house. "Home sweet home." She dropped the boots by the door and wondered deeper into the house turning on lights as she went. Paine shrugged out of her coat and hung it up before following her. Both the tea kettle and the coffee maker were on when she entered the kitchen. Rikku was at the sink filling a glass to water for the one plant in the kitchen when she felt Paine come up right behind her and wrap her arms around her waist. "My love." She greeted affectionately.

Paine smiled to herself at the new title and pressed a kiss on Rikku's shoulder. "Hey." She never thought she could be this happy just holding someone.

"Let's take a nap before we start on that list we made. I'm a little sleepy from the flight." She finished filling the glass and then turned off the faucet. She turned around in Paine's arms and they made out right there in the kitchen for a few minutes. They needed to reacquaint themselves to the others lips before anything else was said or done.

Paine pushed herself away from Rikku with a heavy sigh. It really sucked when your girlfriend was as attractive as Rikku was. Every touch just made her want to continue. "Okay." She said. It was in mainly to calm herself down rather than agreeing with Rikku. Paine ran a hand through her hair and moved to the coffee maker. "I should turn this off then?"

Rikku went to water the plant. "No I put decaf on for you."

There was just something different in the air between them. Rikku was glad they had finally talked about sex and where they were, but it just made being alone with Paine difficult because all she could really think of now was sex with her. Talk about distracting.

"Thanks."

"Mhm."

The two snacked on their drinks and tiny coconut covered doughnuts Rikku brought from the airport in Bikanel for Paine to try. After that they spooned on the couch in the den just talking idly until one of them dozed off.

"It's weird being back here." Rikku mumbled into the pillow they were laying on.

"Why is that?" Paine asked from behind her.

"It's never this quiet at my grandma's house."

"It's always this quiet here though."

Rikku nodded as she better wrapped her arm around Paine's that was around her. "Yeah."

"Does it bother you?"

"Not all the time, I like it when I'm thinking about stuff, but everyone is just so happy and together Home. When I'm older I don't think I'd want it this quiet all the time."

"That's why you make your home whatever you want it to be."

"Everyone is gonna be always coming over, and food and just life." Paine chuckled a little. "You'll be there too; I don't know why you're laughing."

Paine smoothed out the slight wrinkle on Rikku's shirt. She pretended to groan. "What did I sign myself up for?"

Rikku giggled and then yawned. "Remind me to call Lulu will you? I have to check if my lil' nephew is doing okay."

"I'll try to remember."

"He should be born any week now."

"Rikku it's December, I thought he was due in February?"

"Early February late January, so like I said, any week now."

"What do you think they'll name him?"

"Blitzer if Wakka has his way, Franco if Lulu has her way."

"I don't know if I like babies…."

Rikku laughed. "Says the one with two nine year old friends."

"Jade and Big Mack are not babies, they're children."

"What's wrong with babies?"

"They're just so needy…" Paine shrugged causing Rikku to laugh.

"Yeah they are because they're babies Paine, what you expect them coming out knowing how to ride a bike and read for themselves?"

"At least wiping their own butts."

Rikku just laughed again. "I'm closing my eyes now." She heard Paine chuckle then press a kiss on the back of her neck.

##

Paine threw the long chord of tinsel down and stormed off. Rikku turned to Yuna. "I told you she'd want to break up with me." Rikku sighed and followed after her. "Baby come back, I was just saying that it could be a little more centered!"

Yuna shook her head and then turned to Tidus. "Aren't you lucky I'm not like that?"

"You have your moments." Tidus answered honestly. "But that's why I dig ya."

Yuna shook her head. "Have you heard from Wakka while we were gone? Lulu must be busy, she hasn't been picking up. I was going to invite them over here form Christmas."

"Wakka? I don't know, he was fine up until a few days ago. Now he just seems sad at blitz practice."

"Sad?"

'Yeah, he doesn't even yell at us anymore for being lazy."

"Maybe he has a lot on his mind, with the baby, and Lulu's parents, and school…"

"No doubt he's got a lot to worry about, but he's usually good at managing stress…. I'm worried."

Yuna studied him for a minute. She knew Tidus well enough to know that he didn't worry about anything really, except his damn fish and her, so to hear him say this made Yuna worried too. "We'll have to see. I'll try calling Lulu again."

"Yeah."

A few hours had passed and finally the formal living room, the main hallway, and the guest bedroom and bathroom had been decorated. Rikku was holding a clip board with sketched out blue prints on how she wanted everything to look. Paine thought it was annoying, but cute. She had just accepted that it was what Rikku liked to do to make the house seem full, and to have everyone have a memorable holiday. The blonde was very family oriented. So, like the trooper she was, Paine ignored the jabs about her not doing this or that right and just rolled with it.

"Okay so in this box are all the stockings." Rikku opened the box. "I sent to get them rethreaded and I ordered two new ones for you and Tidus, see?" She pulled out a red stocking with white fluffy trim with a gold "T" on it, and then a green one with a gold "P" on it.

"You got me a stocking?" Paine asked looking down at the oversized sock.

"Yeah." Rikku didn't notice how Paine's face softened up considerably and then just as quickly went back to neutral. "Here, hang these up on the fireplace. Not too close together, but not too far apart…Use this tape measure."

"I'm not using a tape measure to hang stockings." Paine walked off with the small box.

"Bu—" Rikku was about to protest it but then decided not to when she saw Paine being careful about the distance. "Alright Teedus? Are you ready for your next job?"

##

After the majority of the downstairs was done the four ordered oriental food and hung out in the warm kitchen and just talked and laughed for the remainder of the night. It was around 11 at night when Rikku closed the front door and turned to Paine who was stretching her arms out with a small yawn. Rikku smiled and placed her hands on Paine's exposed sides and rubbed them up and down.

Paine lowered her arms. "This place looks good."

"Like a winter wonderland." Rikku agreed when Paine wrapped her arms around her and just held her for a second.

"Like Home Goods during the Holidays."

Rikku giggled. "Exactly like that."

"You want me to stay tonight, or do you wanna come over? Paine asked.

"You want me to leave this place? I spent all day working on it, no you're staying." She poked Paine playfully.

"What do you mean _you_? **I** did all the work, you just barked orders."

"I don't bark." Rikku pouted.

Paine chuckled and leaned forward to steal a kiss. "Yapped, you yapped orders." Paine let go of her and went to turn off the kitchen and den lights.

"Yapped isn't any better!" Rikku called after her. "Meet me upstairs when you're done?"

"Yeah!" Paine called. It sounded like she was in the formal living room.

"Thank you Pypo!" Rikku called as she ran up the stairs to have a quick shower. Paine usually liked to turn off all the lights and make sure everything was okay downstairs before going upstairs. She was just protective like that.

Paine ended her tour of the first floor by checking the front door and then jogging upstairs. When she entered Rikku's room the shower was just coming on. Paine scratched the back of her head lightly as she looked at the small bandage on her side. She poked it, when it didn't hurt she shrugged and moved to stand at the foot of Rikku's bed and flip through the channels of her TV. Ten minutes later the shower came off. Paine settled on the cooking channel and just sat down on the bed when the bathroom door opened.

Rikku rolled her eyes when the dark haired woman didn't even glance in her direction. "Pai."

Paine did a double take when she noticed Rikku was standing in the bathroom doorway in nothing but a white terrycloth towel. Paine stood slowly. "You… forget something?" She asked, her throat getting a little blocked. She had never seen Rikku in just a towel before.

"No."

"Oh…." Paine nodded. "Okay well…"

"Turn off the TV."

Paine quickly did as she was told while Rikku walked over to her. She was saying something. Paine could see her lips moving but she couldn't hear anything. Paine cleared her throat a little. "Uh what?"

Rikku smiled and took both Paine's hands and put them on her toweled waist. "Today when I saw you at the airport I was so happy all I could do was act normal to stop from causing a scene." She stepped into Paine's personal space. "I missed you so much, Pai."

"I missed you too." Paine mumbled wrapping her hands around Rikku's waist like an adult instead of like a kid at her junior high prom.

Rikku rested her hands on Paine's shoulders. "I was thinking about what you said today? About creating your home the way you want it and stuff." Paine nodded. "Well I want you there for real, okay?"

"Okay." Paine whispered. They seemed to be getting closer with every word.

"I wanna be with you."

Paine nodded and then froze when she realized truly what the blonde meant. "Now baby?"

Rikku nodded slowly. "But, I'm still nervous."

"…You have nothing to be nervous about, I promise." Paine leaned forward and pressed a small kiss on her lips. "It's just you and me."

"You're not nervous anymore?" Rikku searched Paine's honest eyes.

"I'm shaking." Paine admitted with a small smile.

Rikku smiled back at her and then brought her hands to her cheeks and kissed her slowly. Paine's arms held her closer. After a few minutes Paine finally broke the kiss and rested her forehead against Rikku's and held her gaze. Before anything went further she needed to know. "Are you sure?' She asked just below a whisper.

Rikku pushed aside some of Paine's hair and nodded. "Make love to me." She whispered back.

##

Paul stepped into the dingy bar on Chord Street and looked around. "You lost pal?" Someone near the door asked. Someone who dressed as nicely as Paul Moore, and who was wearing a thick winter coat as opposed to the wholly thin layers as everyone else must have been lost.

Paul shook his head no. He checked the address three times, this was definitely the place.

##

The two were still standing, locked in a heated kiss when Rikku pulled at Paine's shirt and the smoky haired woman pulled it off quickly and wrapped her arms back around the shorter of the two. Without thinking Rikku ran her hands down Paine's exposed sides and squeezed her right above the hips.

Paine groaned and pulled away sharply.

Rikku opened her eyes and realized that Paine's skin was a lot smoother than the rough patch she was feeling. Her eyes widened. "Oh my gosh Paine! I'm sorry I'm sorry!" She had literally just squeezed Paine in the small spot where they cut her open a few days ago.

Paine took a second to feel the sharp pain ebb away before trying to calm Rikku down by holding her face between her palms. "Rikku!"

"—Yeah?"

Paine chuckled softly. "It's okay."

"But you—"

Paine kissed her. "It's okay."

"You're okay?" Rikku asked in a small voice.

She kissed her a second time. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Cause we can call Elma, go to the hospital. What if it—" Paine kissed her again.

"We're not leaving this room."

"We're not?"

Paine shook her head slowly from left to right as her arms snaked lowly on Rikku's waist. "No."

"Oh." Rikku managed before Paine's lips were on hers again. Paine stood there for a moment, reassuring Rikku with every kiss that she was just fine.

##

"He isn't picking up his phone." Lulu hung up her cell phone and looked at Wakka. "The one time I decide to call him back, he doesn't pick up the phone." Lulu put her head in her hands.

She was having a crying kind of day.

Wakka was for sure hell would ice over before he saw Lulu cry as openly as she was now.

But then she got pregnant, and anything was fair game.

"Take it easy for a second." Wakka rubbed Lulu's back and took her cell phone out of her hands.

"Don't you get it? I'm the one who has to handle this, me! Years and years of lying, not even small lying. He lied on a human being, a person, someone who you said—"

"You don't gotta—"

"She's my half sister, Wakka!"

Wakka was still having a hard time swallowing that one. He could only imagine how Lulu was feeling… How Paine was going to feel….

##

Paine eased Rikku on her back and then crawled to the side of her. Rikku caressed Paine's toned arms as she responded to Paine's touch with a small whimper. "You're hands are cold." She whispered as Paine's fingers settled to tickle the spot they were in lightly. Rikku giggled and Paine smiled before trailing her hands up Rikku's leg only stopping when the tips of her fingers met towel.

"You're legs are so smooth." Paine observed as she ran her finger tips back down to the blonde's tanned knee. Paine rubbed her leg a little more before stopping and scooting lower on the bed to kiss the small expanse of leg she had just been touching, Rikku squirmed a little, she had never really experience the type of pleasure Paine's butterfly kisses were giving her; it was like little zaps to her core that made her blush. She exhaled heavily when Paine's hands stayed at the sides of her legs but went up under the towel to her hips. Paine continued kissing safe areas of her legs, her hands staying perfectly still at Rikku's bare hips. Rikku reached her hand down to caress Paine's arms again. She loved how strong they felt when they wrapped around her at night. Paine was toned in all the right places. Eventually Paine came back up to hover over Rikku.

"Are my hands still cold?" She asked quietly. Rikku shook her head no. "Good." Paine removed her hands from under the towel and lowered herself on top of Rikku to kiss her again. They were locked in an affectionate kiss when Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's bare shoulders and moaned when Paine carefully rubbed the jeaned lower half of her body against Rikku's nearly naked half. Rikku could feel the small bit of pressure on her pelvis and suddenly she wondered how it would feel if Paine weren't wearing jeans.

"Take these off." She breathed when Paine got bold and started blatantly grinded against her.

Paine couldn't agree more with the blonde's request. They were really doing this, and if they were really doing this, she would need to be really naked. Paine got to her feet quickly and focused on unbuttoning her jeans, slipping them off, and kicking them to the side before crawling back onto the bed in nothing but her panties and bra. Paine hummed appreciatively when Rikku began to rub her foot up and down her exposed legs. She leaned down and peppered kisses along her girlfriend's collar bone before returning to her mouth and searing it with a heated kiss that Rikku wasn't expecting. Paine reached a hand down to Rikku's leg that was rubbing against hers and held it still before trailing her fingertips all the way up one thigh until she felt the soft incline of Rikku's left breast. Paine stopped there as if waiting for permission. Sensing this, Rikku arched her back a little, and Paine grunted softly when she felt the hardened nub that was Rikku's nipple.

"Mmm." Rikku moaned when Paine began to slowly roll it between her fingers. "Pai."

Paine was breathing heavier now as she cupped her breast with her palm. She soon let both her hands find purchase on Rikku's breasts and her lips on her neck. Rikku arched her back again as Paine tweaked both nipples at the same time.

Suddenly the towel just seemed ridiculous.

Paine helped Rikku unravel herself from it and just openly gaped at what she had been laying on top off, spooning with, and hugging for the past four and a half months.

Rikku furrowed her brow at Paine; she had just stopped everything and was now just staring down at her. Was something wrong? Did she not like what she was looking at? Rikku reached a hand for the towel but Paine stopped her with her words.

"You are so fucking beautiful." Paine stared for a few more seconds at all that was Rikku. Somewhere in the back of her mind she checked off that she was definitely a natural blonde. "Rikku." Paine looked at her face now, her eyes. "Baby…" Paine leaned down and kissed her out of her thoughts. "You're beautiful." She mumbled onto her lips before kissing her again.

Rikku blush got a little deeper as she felt Paine caress her entire body. She watched as Paine took the time to get to know every small dip, every curve, everything that she thought was an imperfection it seemed Paine' liked most. She'd placed little kisses here and there. Rikku never had somebody take some much time during sex to just notice her, all of her. "I wanna see you." She found herself saying.

Paine placed one more kiss right below the blonde's belly button and nodded. "Okay." She sat up and Rikku did as well. Paine suddenly felt a little nervous but bit through it because there were a lot of things she didn't like about herself but that didn't matter right now, right now was about Rikku, and them sharing this very intimate thing with each other. You were never really naked unless you were naked, and if there were anyone Paine felt most naked in front of it was Rikku.

Rikku almost moaned at Paine's full breasts when they bounced lightly out of her bra.

"Where were you hiding those!" She blurted out.

Paine burst out laughing, a very deep blush on her face now. "Nowhere, shut up they're not that big."

They were definitely bigger than hers. "No but they're like… perfect." Rikku closed her mouth just in case she started drooling or something. She found Paine's face and smiled at her blush. "They're gorgeous, you're gorgeous."

Paine slipped out of her underwear and pushed Rikku back down against the bed. They both moaned as Paine finally lay chest to chest with her. Rikku sucked in a lung full of air when Paine nipped at her neck before finding her lips again, fully invested now, Rikku wrapped both arms around Paine's neck and ran a hand through her hair.

Paine was on fire, everything about Rikku just felt so good. She wanted her so bad in that moment of their lips first meeting again it was criminal. "Fuck." She muttered when Rikku's hips bucked against hers causing their centers to rub just a little. Rikku moaned and it happened again. Paine gave in and began to slowly grind her hips against Rikku's pelvis as they shared hot and labored breaths between kisses.

"Ooh." Rikku sucked in another small breath of air as they found a rhythm together. Paine leaned down to kiss and suck on her cleavage and nipples. That alone was driving Rikku mad.

They couldn't last like this.

They just couldn't

After all the months of subtle and not so subtle sexual tension between them, it was no wonder that things just picked up speed once they both realized that they wouldn't be stopping until the end.

For some time all that could be heard was their commingled breaths, the occasional moan, and then swishing of the bed sheets Rikku was laying on as her body rocked forward and back with Paine's. Rikku had no idea how everything felt better with your clothes off until now. Paine's skin was cool to the touch, but the area between them was heating up with the increasing friction of their hips and she didn't know how long she could last without Paine touching her there.

Paine was really trying to hold out and be a little more patient but Rikku clearly wanted it, and so did she, there was no need to be shy about it anymore. They were grinding on each other like horny teenagers for Shiva's sake. So with a mental shrug Paine shifted her weight and let her right hand slip between them. "Fuck." She hissed when she felt how wet Rikku was. Paine's fingers were immediately coated in her nectar as she began to rub the swollen area.

Rikku arched her back sharply. "Paaiiiinnnee" She moaned hotly when she felt two fingers slide into her.

Paine almost collapsed at the sound of Rikku moaning her name like that. "Shiva, baby you…you." She couldn't find words to describe how Rikku felt. "Mmm." She moaned as she slowly slid out of her. Her fingers were coated in her juices and slid easily against her clit and then back down to her opening. She was a little tight but Paine would be lying if she said she didn't like the way it felt for her digits to push deeper into her. She leaned down and kissed Rikku lustfully as her fingers moved in and out again, just as slow as the first time.

Rikku wrapped her right leg around Paine's waist and grinded herself up on Paine more. She was moving way too slow for her liking. "Oui vaam cu kuut eh sa…"

Paine moaned. "Fuck."

It seemed to be the only real word in her drastically decreasing vocabulary that would describe what was going on right now. Paine bit the inside of her mouth a little and increased her speed. Rikku held Paine closer and closed her eyes. It felt like her body was an instrument that only Paine knew how to play, and boy did she play it well. Her fingers began to brush against Rikku's spot and she couldn't even believe the noises she was making once Paine figured out her discovery.

Paine slipped her left hand under Rikku's back when the blonde jerked up again. She leaned down and suckled on her neck in the spot that she knew made Rikku squirm up and giggle when they made out.

Rikku panted into her girlfriend's ear. "Tuh'd cdub, Tuh'd cdub…." Paine felt her slickness squeeze her two fingers and she knew she was close. Even though she had no fucking clue what the Al Bhed was saying, (she was too turned on to translate) she had an idea what she meant just by the way Rikku was holding her for dear life.

"I won't." Paine kissed Rikku lovingly; a serious burn starting up in her right arm. "God, baby I won't." Rikku was depending on her and Paine would be damned if she let her down.

For some reason the kiss made Rikku open her eyes.

Paine felt like her heart was caught in her throat when Rikku looked up at her with dark emerald eyes, her mouth slightly opened, and the cutest cease ever at the base of her forehead. Paine slowed down. Something had changed and they both felt it. "Pai…" She cupped Paine's jaw.

"I know..." She pressed her lips against Rikku's softly again.

Paine could only feel her heart, or was it Rikku's? Their chests were mashed together and there was a real possibility that she was feeling Rikku's beat wildly in her own chest. It reminded her of the first time they kissed right outside these walls. Paine remembered feeling Rikku so close that she could feel her heart. She leaned down and pressed another soft kiss on the blonde's lips, it was slow, just like the pace she was pleasuring her with. Paine knew she was so close. Rikku made a small noise when the kiss ended and Paine used her thumb to rub her sensitive clit and successfully push her over the edge.

Rikku shut her eyes quickly and gripped onto Paine's shoulder as her body sucked Paine in a little deeper, tensed, and then spasm uncontrollably sending waves of pleasure out of her and onto Paine's fingers. She sucked in a huge breath of air and felt somewhat dizzy as her body tried to regain motor control over itself. Even after she gained control she felt tingly all over, like she had been electrocuted by a very small current. Rikku took another huge breath and let her right leg fall from Paine's waist with a small thud.

Best orgasm ever.

If Rikku so much as hugged Paine she'd cum. Watching Rikku like this just did things to her that she couldn't quite explain. Paine had worked up the tiniest bit of sweat from her excretion and the sheer heat that they shared from Rikku holding her so close. She waited till Rikku had caught her breath well enough to handle any more stimulation. Paine slid her fingers out of her and rolled off the blonde to lie on her back beside her. She smiled to herself when almost as immediately as she moved Rikku rolled over and snuggled her naked body against hers. She patted her girlfriend's tanned arm that was hugging her and then turned to look at her. Their eyes met and Paine leaned forward to place the softest kiss on her swollen lips.

"I love you." Rikku murmured.

"I love you too."

Rikku sighed contently and then yawned. "Wai…wait, what about you?"

She was already slurring her words with sleep. Paine supposed that was a very good thing as she sat up and pulled the blanket at their feet up and over them. "Don't worry, I'm good baby."

"No but…" Rikku struggled.

Paine placed a kiss on her forehead."Next time, go to sleep, you've had a long day."

"Are you sure?"

Paine nodded and then found herself yawning. "See? You wore me out too." Paine lied down on her back again and turned toward Rikku just in time to see her give up the fight and close her eyes. She was snoring in a matter of seconds.

**AN: Little longer than usual, but you can see how that happened lol. I loved loved loved all the reviews I got last chapter! It definitely motivated me to try and update faster for you all. Review for this chapter too! :)**

**KathleenDee **


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty Six**

**This one is rated M too :)**

Paine woke to Rikku nudging her bare shoulder softly. "Hm?" She managed.

Without a word Rikku leaned down and began kissing Paine's exposed jaw line, then her neck, her collar bone, then her cleavage area. Paine made a small noise and reached for Rikku's shoulder. "More?" She asked wondering if this was the blonde's way of asking for a round two.

Rikku pressed a little kiss on Paine's stomach, then another right under her breasts. "You rest."

Paine shook off the rest of sleep and watched Rikku for a little while. "Baby you don't have to—"

"I want to." Rikku cut her off as she straddled Paine under the covers. "Let me."

Paine held her gaze in the dark of the room and then nodded. "Okay."

Rikku ran her hands up and down Paine's pale body and took her time to get to know every little scar, every faint freckle, every curve, just as Paine had done for her a few hours before. It had made her feel beautiful Rikku wanted to make Paine feel the same, she was met with small resistance in the beginning but soon she got Paine to relax enough for her to appreciate her the way she deserved to be appreciated.

Rikku wasn't going to lie; she wasn't as equal with sharing her time with each of Paine's body parts. Her legs and her breasts got a lot more attention than her flat stomach did, that was for sure. Surprisingly to herself, she wasn't nervous at all. Every hitch in Paine's breathing, or small moan was like the best feeling in the world to Rikku. If anything it encouraged her.

Paine was surprised to feel Rikku begin to slowly kiss down her body. She had no idea what happened to the shy girl she was speaking on the phone with because right now Rikku was this sure and confidant woman, and she had to admit that it was really sexy on her. Paine could feel Rikku's small hands holding her hips down as she took a moment to reorient herself before she started kissing the inside of her thighs. "Mmm." Paine exhaled and tangled her hand in Rikku's hair as the blonde just went for it and began to eat her out.

She knew it was a ballsy move, but one that Rikku was glad she decided to take. She had a vagina, she knew what felt good generally, and with a little experimenting she knew she would find specifically what turned Paine on more. It was an easy choice to take this route instead of the more dominant one that Paine took. The taste wasn't as bad as the book made it out to be, Paine wasn't too salty or fishy. Her taste reminded Rikku more of butter than anything else. The more she licked and sucked the more she realized she liked it and the more Paine squirmed on the bed.

Paine reached her free hand to her chest and moaned a little when Rikku seemed to find a pattern that worked for the both of them. She let out a needy whimper when the blonde stopped all of sudden and popped her head up.

"… Does that feel good?" She asked quietly.

Paine looked down at her and just had to smile. Rikku's honey blonde hair was tussled and her bright emerald eyes held a mixture of mischief and curiosity. "That feels amazing, Rikks." Her voice was husky enough to make Rikku mentally shiver and decide that she was going to get Paine off if it were the last thing she did.

And she did just that.

Paine let go of the bedspread while panting heavily when Rikku began to press wet kisses up her body. She pressed her wet lips against Paine's and the two began to make out again. Rikku finally pulled away and giggled.

"You're really hot when you…y'know." She blushed in the dark.

Paine just stared at her in bewilderment. "Are you sure you've never been with another woman before because that…." Paine ran a hand through her hair and sighed again. It was the first time in a long time that she really wanted to smoke a cigarette. She wasn't sure what it was that made her cum so hard. Was it just the thought alone of Rikku between her legs? Or the fact that she hadn't had sex in ages, Rikku's surprisingly skilled tongue? Maybe it was all three, Paine didn't know, and frankly she really didn't care. She felt weak. "That was fucking amazing." She finished leaning up on her elbow to match Rikku's stance.

Rikku smiled genuinely at her. "Just you."

Paine smiled back and leaned over to place a series of small kisses on her lips, she cupped Rikku's jaw and they gazed at one another for a moment in silence. "I love you." Paine mouthed.

Rikku smiled wider. "I love you too, Pypo. So much."

Paine exhaled and stretched out like a cat would. "I don't think you needed that book at all." She concluded with a small yawn.

"You wouldn't believe how nervous that thing had me and the stuff I was doing?" Rikku said as she and Paine cuddled up in their usual manner with Paine on her back and an arm out for Rikku to coil up at her side. Rikku loved how their bare skin felt touching as they cuddled.

"Like what?" Paine asked and looked down to her side at Rikku; the tingling feeling of her orgasm still humming lightly within her.

"Well I almost kinda waxed off my vagin' waxing."

Paine chuckled a little. "Want me to check if everything looks alright?" She grinned and Rikku laughed.

"I'm a little sore."

Paine's smile fell. "I didn't hurt you or anything did I?"

"No no no, you were great, better than great… Good sore."

Paine nodded and used her left hand to push aside some of Rikku's hair out of the way that had just fallen into her face. "Tonight…um, I'm glad we waited, if that makes sense."

"You mean waited till we talked?"

Paine nodded. "I had no idea what was going through your head, and then the book thing, well I actually was worried something was wrong…"

Rikku smiled to herself at Paine's openness right now. "Nothing was wrong, but I'm glad that we waited too." She hugged Paine to her. "I was worried that you thought I was damaged goods or something…."

"I could never think that, Rikku."

"I know, it's just y'know how sometimes my mind gets."

The two fell quiet for a few moments until Paine spoke up. "You really want me to stick around that long? To be in your future house and stuff?"

Rikku looked back up at Paine. "I love you," was her simple reply. "I can't imagine it without you."

Paine's heart swelled, she was sure it would burst with all this emotion in one day. "I'll stay as long as you'll have me."

"Get comfortable."

Paine smiled to herself and sighed. She chuckled as Rikku smacked her lips. "What else did you do?" Rikku held Paine closer as she told the story of her walking out completely naked to Paine sleeping.

"Yeah I noticed you weren't wearing a bra that morning—"

"Pai!"

Paine chuckled. "What do you expect?" She ran her fingers of her right hand along Rikku's bare shoulders in thought.

Rikku watched her drift into her own thoughts and it made her tilt her head curiously. "What are you thinking?" She whispered.

Paine's fingers halted and she blinked a few times before finding Rikku's eyes. "I'm happy..." Paine realized "I'm just happy, Rikku."

Rikku hugged her closer. "I'm happy too, baby."

"All the things that we've been through? I'm glad I'm here with you." Paine wrapped her other arm around Rikku now fully enveloping her in her naked embrace. She looked up at the patterns Rikku's ceiling made by her blinds and the night sky. Rikku got more comfortable by slipping her leg in between Paine's and resting on top of her. Paine tightened her grip with a small sigh. "You just came out of nowhere… just in time…."

Rikku smiled against Paine's chest and it was then that she knew she wanted to be by Paine's side always. The word love didn't seem like enough to describe what she felt for her. Rikku placed a kiss on her chest and sighed. Or maybe those endorphins were really doing a number on them both.

An hour later of just lying that and talking quietly found the two in another passionate kiss. "I'll be gentle." Paine whispered as she placed another kiss lower than the first.

Rikku giggled and soon found herself moaning and coming undone all over again as Paine kept her word and softly licked and kissed her center under the blankets. Rikku moaned as she rolled her hips against Paine's face and dug her heels into the sheets beneath them.

The next morning she woke and chuckled when she realized Paine was actually snoring softly beside her with the cutest case of bed head ever. Rikku yawned and was about to close her eyes when she remembered that her father would be coming home in a few hours. She nudged Paine and chuckled even more when Paine pushed her arm away in her sleep. They had fooled around more once they caught there second wind and Rikku knew she'd be wearing a permanent grin for a few weeks. She blushed just thinking about it. The youngest Bayla ran a hand through her tangled hair and began to get out of bed to shower. Looking at herself in the mirror just made the blonde laugh more. She rubbed her face and tried to run a hand through her hair again. She hated when it got knotted up but she'd let it slide for this. "Sex hair." Rikku realized. She laughed again and really was beginning to wonder why she found everything so funny. Rikku was just in a good mood today; hearing Paine admit to being happy made her happier than words could define, maybe even more than their first time. She knew her girlfriend was struggling with a lot of things she couldn't help her with, just hearing that she was in a positive state made her day.

Rikku returned into her room about half an hour later after washing her hair and lathering her body up with lotion. Paine was still lying on her stomach with the blanket at her waist exposing her creamy back and her bullet scar.

"Paine c'mon, I don't think Pops will understand if he shows up and your sleeping completely nakie in my bed." Paine mumbled something but didn't budge. "Paine."

"What?" She groaned.

"Get up."

"You get up."

"I am up, and showered and dressed and everything,"

Paine picked her head up as if checking if this was so. She grumbled something and turned her back to Rikku and pulled the covers over her head. Rikku laughed. "Fine, you explain to Pops why you're naked in here."

"He doesn't have to know I'm here."

"Your car is parked outside…."

"My keys are in my jacket."

"I'm not putting on more clothes to move your car down the block and walk back in the cold just because you don't want to get your lazy butt out of bed and shower. What do I look like? Your girlfriend?"

"Yes…"

"….C'mon get up I have to change the sheets and everything." Rikku walked over to stand in front of Paine. "Wake up!" Rikku started her annoying childish yet somehow cute routine of trying to get Paine to wake up.

It took the blonde getting on the bed and jumping on it to finally get Paine up. She violently pushed the sheets off herself and stormed into the bathroom making sure to slam the door behind her. Rikku chuckled. And _she_ was the dramatic one?

Paine was in the middle of showering when Rikku heard her yell out for her.

She popped her head into the steamy bathroom "Yeah…?"

Paine poked her head from behind the curtains. "I look like a fucking leper, Rikku." Rikku began to laugh. "It's not funny."

"They're love bites."

"They're everywhere."

"It's because I love you so much." She smiled sweetly.

Paine said nothing but just returned to her shower. Rikku smiled and exited the bathroom to return to straightening up her room and getting a mental list of things she needed to do for the day. She was just finishing making up her new bed sheets when Paine exited the bathroom in some jeans and a gray long sleeve shirt. Her hair was slicked back and she went to her drawer to find her gel to style it. Paine chuckled when she felt Rikku watching her do it.

"You just do it so fast." Rikku explained.

"That's the trick." Paine nodded as she quickly used her comb and applied more product before finishing just like that. "Gotta get it while it's still wet…." She smirked and laughed when she felt Rikku throw a pillow at her back. "No pun intended." She added.

"Oh of course." Rikku rolled her eyes as Paine picked up the pillow and walked over to her in order to bend down and press a sweet kiss on her lips.

"Good morning, Princess." Paine smiled.

"Morning, Pai." Rikku matched her smile. She wiped some gel from the tips of her bangs. "You're not mad at me right?"

Paine shook her head. "No, I liked it." She assured. Sure she looked like someone had tried to maul her under her clothes, but that was okay for now. Rikku had stayed away from her neck; too preoccupied with the rest of her body to leave any marks there. "Besides, I got you back." She straightened up and used her fingers to tilt Rikku's chin to see the reasonable sized hickey peaking out near the collar of her shirt. She and Rikku knew that wasn't the only one, and besides this one was barely noticeable under the darker tan and Rikku's red shirt today.

Rikku chuckled and nodded. "An eye for an eye."

Paine put the pillow on the bed beside Rikku and pulled her girlfriend up, who immediately wrapped her arms Paine's waist. Paine did the same and they gazed at one another before Paine just hugged her. Rikku chuckled into the embrace but hugged her back. Paine kissed the top of Rikku's head and just held her there. She never felt like this before. She never felt so connected to someone else before, it was making her soft and mushy and just a hot mess of emotions.

##

"Ah man what happened down here?" Paine asked once they detached and decided that they were in desperate need of food. "It looks like Santa had one too many jagar bombs and threw up Christmas all over this place."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You said it looked nice last night." She said as she shooed Paine away from the fridge and handed her the carton of milk before searching for something she wanted to eat.

"It was really dark last night." Paine joked as she reached into the cereal cabinet.

"Y'know after such a night of passion I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me how you really feel." Rikku said as she still stood in front of the open fridge. Paine laughed. "I don't know what I want, we don't really have anything since we left. I need to go to the market with Yunie soon…." Rikku rubbed the back of her head as she pulled out the leftovers from the night before. "You think these egg rolls are still good?"

Paine shrugged. "We ordered food last night, should be fine… You're just going to eat that though?"

"No…" Rikku began munching on a cold eggroll as she closed the fridge and opened the freezer. She chuckled "Wow look what I found." She pulled out a few frozen meat patties in the back of the freezer hidden behind a box of her father's fat free ice-cream nuggets.

"What? Hamburgers?" Paine furrowed her brows when she saw what Rikku pulled out.

"We made these together, you don't remember? I think it was after Taboo, we were so hung over and Yunie and Tidus left…"

Paine smiled. "Shit you didn't eat those yet?"

"I forgot I had them. They're getting eaten now." Rikku opened the freezer package.

"Whoa Rikks you can't eat those, you'll get sick."

Rikku just stared at her like she was crazy. "They were in the freezer."

"For like a year, we went to Taboo before my birthday… like May, it's fucking December."

"So I can't eat them?"

"No."

"Why not, they're fine, Paine."

"Baby, I'm telling you'll be hating yourself."

Rikku began to defrost them. "I'm hungry."

"Have something else."

"But I want these, they were really yummy remember?"

"A freaking year ago."

"Oh c'mon that wasn't a year ago."

"Have some cereal."

"Cereal is boring."

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"I'm not taking care of you when you get sick."

"You're so ungrateful. You know how many times I've taken care of you—"

"Once?"

"Twice!"

"Twice? You got sick the second time."

"I know, you're welcome!"

Paine laughed and went back to eating her cereal. "Suit yourself."

Rikku watched Paine and then the defrosting hamburger meat. She looked back at Paine happily eating her breakfast and she groaned. "Fine!" Just then the house phone began to ring. Rikku wondered out into the hall and picked up. "Hya Pops….Oh…Delayed? How long for? Well I bet grandma would like that…I'll give her a call… okay, call me back, alright." Rikku hung up and went back into the kitchen. "I guess I'll starve…." She smiled when Paine rolled her eyes. "Pypo?"

Paine looked up at Rikku who had just come to stand directly beside her. "Yeah?"

"If I go to the store and get oranges…"

Paine smiled a little. "I'll cut 'em for you."

"Yay!" Rikku did a little dance and then ran out of the kitchen. Paine finished her bowl of cereal and was in the middle of washing it when Rikku came back downstairs wearing her white NLU hoody, light jeans, and bright pink and yellow socks. She was holding her wallet in one hand. "I figured I might as well go and do groceries…"

"I thought you were hungry now?"

Rikku shrugged a little. "I am but y'know I'll just have a smoothie from Jambi. You'll come with me right?" She wasn't ready to say goodbye to Paine yet and really hoped she had nothing to do today.

"Yeah, but don't you think it's a little too cold for one of those?" Paine asked reaching for a hand towel to dry her bowl.

Rikku shrugged again. "You know how hot Home was? I've been dying for one; c'mon put your shoes on."

##

"Yevon almighty…" Paine swore as Rikku careless turned into the drive through window at Jambi Juice. She could feel the car hydroplane because of a patch of black ice near the window. Rikku didn't seem to be bothered. It was bright outside, the cold wind from the winter sweeping in every now and then and making you wish you dressed warmer. The windows in the small white car were up though, and the seat warmers on. Paine had to remember to remind Gippal that seat warmers were a must. Maybe he knew a guy.

Rikku was rubbing her hands together and waiting for the person in front of them to hurry up and decide what they wanted. "You see? Even with the blistering winds, Jambi prevails!"

Paine shook her head. "You're such a dork."

Rikku laughed and shook her head. "They don't have these in Bikanel."

"No?" Paine asked a little surprised.

"Nope. I had to go without you, AND my Teddy Berry!"

"What's a girl to do?"

Rikku nodded. "I was going crazy! So that's why after some lady lovin' with you—"

"Lady lovin'?" Paine shook her head. Rikku was probably the most ridiculous person she knew.

"— I must now go hence forth and…and… and get a smoothie." She shrugged and turned to her girlfriend. "You want Hot Coco Moo? They have that here y'know? Hot versions of the original three Jambi drinks. Did you know Mr. Jambi himself opened one of these places in the dead of winter and still exceeded sales by like… a lot?"

'How do you even know all that?"

Rikku ignored her question. "Coco Moo?"

"Nah, I'm good."

Rikku nodded and watched Paine closely for a second. She reached her right hand out and rubbed Paine's arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Paine nodded quickly. She didn't know she was giving off a look that said she wasn't. She guessed she was just letting her thoughts run and affect her face or something. Rikku was very perceptive. "Why?"

"I don't know you're just quiet."

"I'm always quiet."

"Not last night."

Paine laughed. "You're one to talk!"

Rikku giggled and shrugged again before letting her smile disappear. "You alright though?"

"I'm just tired."

"Still?"

Paine nodded. "I had to stop taking the pills to go into surgery remember? I guess I'm now starting to feel what I felt before."

"Do you feel sick? I mean when do you start taking them again?" Rikku took her foot off the gas and moved up to the intercom and large colorful menu. She rolled down her window. "Hold on a second please?"

"No problem ma'am," the voice in the box replied.

Rikku rolled back up her window and turned to face Paine more. They were the only ones left in the line so the blonde didn't really care. "Pai?"

Paine chuckled. "I'm fine."

Rikku nodded slowly and then brought a smile to Paine's face when she leaned over and placed a big kiss on her cheek. "There we go, much better." Rikku noted when she saw her girlfriend's smile. "Pypo, Dno hud du muug cu tufh."

Paine shook her head, smile still in place. "Order your smoothie."

Rikku smiled back. "Okay." After ordering her drink, drinking it and getting a few things at the grocery store Rikku and Paine were on their way back to the Bayla house. Rikku was trying to get Paine to hold her hand when Rikku's phone went off. She laughed at something Paine said and then tapped a button on her steering wheel to turn the low music off and transfer over to the call. "I forgot to call grandma dangit, this is probably Pops." She pressed the button again to pick up. "Pops! I forgot to call cunno, does she knew you're coming back to the house for lunch?" Rikku turned to Paine. "His flight was held back an hour or so." She explained.

"Rikku?"

Rikku froze. "Buddy?"

"Oayr ed'c sa, E lymmat du caa ev oui syta ed eh ugyo. Oui yjuetat cusa bnaddo pyt cyht cdunsc rana."

"E syta ed eh veha. Dryhgc." Rikku glanced at Paine. She didn't think it were that big a deal that she ran into Buddy while Home. He was Al Bhed, she was Al Bhed…

"Yr, knayd, E mayja haqd faag. Fecr oui fuimt ryja paah ynuiht muhkan, fa ymm secc oui ujan rana."

Paine raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend who sunk down in her seat a little more. Who was she kidding here? Paine absolutely hated the air he breathed.

"Rikku?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm almost at the house and all that so we'll talk later."

"Can't wait."

"Bye." Rikku hung up the phone and glanced at Paine again.

"What the fuck?"

Rikku sighed. "Pai."

"You didn't think to tell me that you and Buddy ol' Pal were hanging out in Bikanel?"

"No…We didn't hang out, he wanted to but… We didn't okay? I didn't say anything because I knew you would be upset." Rikku stopped at a red light and looked at her girlfriend. "You're upset." She read. Paine didn't say anything which only proved her right. Rikku sighed in frustration. "I don't see why—"

"Really? You don't?"

"I don't know what you think I'm doing; I don't know why you don't trust me, Paine. I love you and you only. It's stupid when you get like this."

"It's not you I don't trust, Rikku—"

"Right it's him."

"Yeah, he doesn't respect me or our relationship. So while I'm over here getting cut open you're off with Buddy having a good time. It just shows me that you don't—"

"Are you kidding me right now? We ran into him in the city, He's Al Bhed, he visits Home regularly too, Paine."

"Whatever, I don't want to get into this with you right now."

"I think we should talk about it at least so you're not brooding all day like that." Rikku pulled onto her block.

"I'm not fucking brooding." Paine crossed her arms.

"You're acting like a baby then."

"Well you're acting like it's nothing at all. Tell me, if I just ran into Dona and—"

"That's different and you know it." Rikku was getting a little upset now. "You slept with her, multiple times. I haven't even thought Buddy in a sexual way."

"But you've thought of him."

"Oh Shiva." Rikku pulled into her parking space. "Maybe you should just go take a nap."

"Maybe I should just leave."

The car was quiet for a second before Rikku took her keys out of the ignition. "You'll do whatever you want." she said before getting out of her car and gathering her cloth bags from the grocer. Paine helped her bring the heavier bags in the house, cut Rikku's orange and then disappeared. Rikku watched her leave for the den and was going to say something but decided that she just wanted space to calm down and realize how crazy she was acting.

##

Lulu paced back and forth until the door knocked. She quickly checked the empty living room that she had cleaned over and over again in attempts to calm herself.

"Lulu." The woman at the door smiled but then looked surprised at Lulu's stomach. "You're pregnant, Wow congratulations."

"Thank you, please come in."

She pulled her winter cap off revealing her long smoky hair. Keira took in the modest apartment much like her own. She was standing in the living room and a part of the dining room. Nothing at all like the Moore mansion. Though small it was decorated fashionably with Besiadian accents here and there. "Do you live here alone?" she wondered aloud.

Lulu finished hanging Keira's winter clothes and finally caught up with her. "No, I uh, I live with my boyfriend, Wakka."

Keira nodded. "Ah, how long have you two been together?" She wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed making small talk, but the older woman had to admit that she was both grateful and nervous. No one else would hear her out; why not agree to come over? Paul had met with her just last night, well almost. He came in they stared at one another and he left. He always left.

"For some time now, we've known each other since High school…Um, please sit down." Lulu offered her a seat on their small sofa.

"Right, thank you." Keira watched as Lulu struggled to sit comfortably with her huge belly. She smiled softly at the girl's familiar features. "You know I remember you when you were just this little thing…Well anyway, I suppose that's not what's important right now… I know it's not why you've invited me over here."

Lulu nodded and just examined the woman sitting across from her for a minute. She was having a hard time seeing it before in her mind's eye, but now looking at this perfect stranger Lulu couldn't deny that she and Paine looked so much alike. Even their mannerism seemed to mimic one another; there were some obvious differences though. Where Paine was more aloof, Keira, even in this situation felt warm and inviting. It really made Lulu wonder more about her half sister. Wakka had told her only a little of what he knew about Paine's past, this knowledge was what was pushing her to act.

As annoying as her mother was to her Lulu did love and appreciate everything the older Moore had done for her. She wasn't as bad as everyone thought, she just took some getting used to, and Lulu had twenty three years to do just that. Under all that talk was this beautiful soul that Lulu remembered wanting to be just like. Learning that her father had been unfaithful was hard too, but he was her father, he had her back when it came to her mother and Lulu realized that people made shitty mistakes all the time. It didn't mean she forgave either of them, but she understood, and they were her parents.

Paine didn't have that.

Not even one, and in her hormone craze Lulu found herself extremely sad over the matter. Sure she thought Paine's hair was annoying, or she swore too much, and she dressed like lesbian hoodlum with rare spurts of fashion sense, and was somehow blessed with a model's body that anyone could be envious over, but all that didn't mean she hated her. Paine and Wakka were actually closer than Lulu thought. She didn't know why she was so surprised though, they were roommates for a little while, worked out together every other day when Wakka didn't have his new jobs. He mentioned her when they started having the talk about Godparents for Franco…

"She took a bullet for Big Mac just like dat ya? I'd trust her wit lil' Blitzer any day." Lulu remembered him saying.

Well Lulu supposed that was a moot point now that she knew what she knew.

Being half sister certainly made the choosing process a lot easier. She couldn't be a Godmother and an Aunt at the same time.

Thinking about it Lulu had to admit she actually liked Paine…. For Rikku at least. Her friend couldn't be happier and she didn't know how Paine did it, but she was glad for it. They both deserved to be happy but above everything Paine deserved to know the truth.

"Why are you here?" Lulu asked coldly. "After all these years… Why now?"

If this woman was going to get in the way of that happiness for selfish reasons then Lulu wouldn't allow that. As fucked up as this thing was Lulu was going to make sure it didn't get any more fucked.

##

"You done being mad at me for nothing?" Rikku whispered into Paine's ear as she settled herself over her on the couch.

"No." Paine pouted but then wrapped her arms lowly around Rikku's waist.

"No?" Rikku pretended to be surprised. She leaned down and placed a small kiss on Paine's lips. Paine kissed her back just as gently.

"But I forgive you."

Rikku burst out laughing. "Oh well where would I be if you weren't so understanding?"

Paine shrugged. "I ask myself this every day."

Rikku smiled down at Paine. "I can't believe I love you."

Paine laughed a little. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Of course, my dear."

"I can't believe I love you either."

They smiled.

"I thought we agreed that we're never ever gonna fight?" Rikku whispered.

"I'm sorry baby," Paine leaned up a little to connect her lips with Rikku's. "Let me make it up to you."

Rikku giggled. "Pops is gonna be home any minute."

Paine lowered her hands to Rikku's ass and the blonde giggled more and squirmed around on top of Paine, which she didn't mind at all. "So."

"So? He'll kill both of us!"

Paine moved her hands back to a safe place on Rikku's back. "Fiiinnneee."

"Whoa whoa I didn't say he'd be back this second…"

Paine grinned and cupped Rikku's ass in her hands again. "You're so sexy." She commented, suddenly feeling inspired.

Rikku laughed but blushed at the same time. "Stay over tonight…"

"Yeah?" Paine asked with the biggest grin on her face.

Rikku nodded. "You know how I'm afraid of the dark, Pypo."

"I'll protect you." Paine murmured before their lips met again.

"Mmm." Rikku moaned into the kiss when Paine's hands squeezed her. They broke apart breathless. "Paine." She whined.

Paine chuckled. "What, Princess?"

"Why are you so mean?"

Paine shrugged and Rikku laughed and lay her had on Paine's left shoulder. Paine adjusted her hands to actually hug Rikku affectionately. They both sighed at once which made Paine smile to herself. She loved the new door they had opened in their relationship and the perks it came with, but she loved the closeness it provided more than anything. She felt so at peace with Rikku just lying on her. "Were you just lying in here thinking?" Rikku asked quietly looking around the den at the holiday decorations.

"Yeah."

"I don't like Buddy, Pypo."

Paine sighed. "I know, Rikks. To be honest I've known that, it's just with you, I get…"

"Jealous?"

Paine nodded. "I found you and any threat of losing you just makes me all…"

"Crazy?"

"Protective."

Rikku took a second to collect her thoughts. "I'd never hurt you… I love you, I do. I wanna spend all my time with you, even when you're being grumpy. I wanna show you off and stuff and well…"

Paine chuckled as Rikku grew frustrated. "I love you because you ramble."

Rikku playfully tried to kick Paine. "That's the only reason? You big jerky jerkface."

Paine chuckled and just held her closer. "Among many others Princess."

##

""I brought you back something Paine." Cid announced as he snatched his wallet from Rikku's hands. She always took his Bikanel Gil when he came home from there. Yevon knew what she did with it, but it's been that way ever since they moved to New Luca.

"Me?" Paine shocked. "You didn't have to do that."

"Well too bad, I did." He kicked over his large suitcase right there in the middle of the hallway and then unzipped it to reach for the edges and pulled out a long tube just a tad bigger than the suitcase itself. It wasn't easy getting that thing in there.

"Pops Christmas is like next week, really?" Rikku put her hands to her hips and Cid waved her off. Rikku examined the tube and rolled her eyes once she realized what he got her. "You got her a sword?"

"You got me a sword!" Paine asked in the exact opposite tone.

That's just what Paine needed, more weapons. Rikku had found the gun Gippal gave her to hold about a week before she left for Bikanel. A pair of brass knuckles a month before that. A sling shot a week before that, and it was no secret that Paine had a baseball bat right under her bed. Rikku had made it very clear that she didn't like Paine having these things. It had been one of the more serious arguments between the two lasting up until now. Paine refused to get rid of them, and Rikku refused to indulge in the hobby. Paine argued that it wasn't a hobby, and Rikku argued that it wasn't safe. Paine argued that she was a professional, and Rikku argued that getting shot doesn't make you a professional, and so on and so forth….

She knew her girlfriend was into all that stuff. I mean her name was Paine for Yevon's sake. She was a black belt, a instructor, a work out nut, a Physical Science major. This is the only real reason she let the argument die time after time. If it made her happy then fine, Rikku just felt uneasy about the whole thing. Why on Spira did she need a gun, brass knuckles, a baseball bat, a sling shot, AND a sword for? Rikku's forehead creased in worry as Paine took the tube from Cid.

Cid glared at his daughter. "You love to ruin surprises don't you? Well if I wanted to give it to her at Christmas you ruined it."

"Boohoo Pops." Rikku chuckled. She could tell he went out of his way to get something Paine liked he wasn't really upset.

Cid turned to Paine ignoring his daughter's antics. "I know you're into fighting, maybe you can train with this thing… Maybe you can mount it." Cid shrugged and watched as a wide eyed Paine opened the tube rested it to the side, and then unsheathed a thin blade with an embezzled grip and a red sash. "It's an Al Bhed Desert Katana. A little shorter than the normal one, not really sure why, maybe you could look that up. Merry Christmas kid."

"Paine, don't." Rikku gave her gleeful girlfriend a serious look when the other woman started swinging it around.

"Rikks." Paine gave her a look right back that said relax. She turned to Cid. "This is pretty badass, thank you."

"You're welcome. Let me know if you are looking to learn how to wield it, I know a man from Santos, It's a really small city in the desert. He could teach you."

"He's in the city?" Paine asked.

"Yeah, he trains for a living now, used to sit around and make those things."

"That would be something."

"I'll set it up…."

Rikku shook her head and wondered off to go call Yuna about doing a proper grocery run for Christmas dinner.

##

"Are you done being weird?" Paine asked as she entered the attic where Rikku was drawing, Her Christmas gift tucked under her arm in its protective tube.

Rikku glanced at Paine and then looked back to using her thumb to smudge a dark area her oil pencil had just made. "What?"

"You just disappeared." Paine made sure to lean her gift near the crimson colored loveseat carefully before walking over to Rikku.

Rikku laughed a mischievous little laugh before she brushed her thumb lightly on Paine's nose before going back to what she was doing while Paine wiped her nose in her shirt. "It's been at least an hour and a half and you now notice I was gone?"

"Has it really been that long?" Paine asked still fighting to get the oily lead off her nose. "Was that really necessary by the way?"

"You have a cute nose."

"Does that stuff stain?"

"Not on skin."

Paine sighed and went back to sit on the small couch. "I didn't realize your dad knew so much about weapons."

Rikku smiled to herself. "Were you two bonding?" She teased.

"We were just talking."

"For more than three minutes?"

Paine laughed "Is that bonding?"

Rikku made her smile known. "Aw Pypo."

"Shut up."

Rikku just giggled to herself and went back to drawing. "You know Pops is a junior? Cidney Euan Bayla Jr."

Paine let out a laugh "Cidney?"

"Ssh, don't tell him I told you."

Paine shook her head. "So he's a junior?"

"Yup, his Pop was this big airship aficionado, used to fly 'em all over, kinda like a pirate of the sky."

"Sounds pretty cool."

"Well the way he paid for the money to fly all over is by moving machina weapons around. Used to ship them to everyone, even the Yevonites"

"Believable."

"So if you want to know about machina, Pops is your guy. That's really how Brother got so into it. Doubt he knows much about swords though." Rikku shrugged.

Paine laughed again to herself. "Cidney…"

##

Rikku sighed even louder this time.

Still nothing

Paine sat at Rikku's desk on her laptop while Rikku lay on her bed watching a blank TV.

"Did you know they use actual sand crystal for the embezzle?" Paine turned around and asked cutely

Rikku gave her a blank look. "I'm Al Bhed."

"I know baby, but did you know that?"

"We use sand crystal for a lot of things; I'm saying I'm not surprised."

Paine turned around quickly and began typing away and then reading very intently. "….and the average height of a dune warrior was around five feet four inches, hence the couple inches off the katana length…" Paine scratched the back of her head. "That makes sense…"

Rikku just shook her head. She was so damn cute it was hard to get mad at her when she got like this; all nerdy and what not.

Still, it was about midnight.

She had turned off her TV an hour ago and her girlfriend hadn't noticed. She had also taken off her pants leaving her in pale pink panties and bra and her oversized shirt under the blankets.

"Paine?"

"Yeah, Ri?" Paine asked still reading.

"It's time for bed."

Paine nodded to herself. "Let me just read this last paragraph."

"How long? I'm sleepy."

"Well baby lay down I'll be right there…Ten minutes, I promise."

Rikku yawned. She knew once her head hit the pillow she would be out like a light. She wanted to snuggle up with Paine and maybe even get a little late night lovin' in but she doubted Paine even remembered that conversation. She didn't know if it was possible to be having this issue the day after they had had sex for the first time. Weren't they supposed to not be able to keep their hands to themselves? Rikku turned the lights off which didn't seem to bother Paine one bit. The blonde got back into bed and covered up with her back to the light of the computer screen. She briefly wondered if Paine would like her Christmas gift this much. She couldn't be shown up by her own father…

Paine noted the time and closed out of the informational websites. She let a soft smile come onto her face when she saw Rikku's background image on her desktop. She hadn't seen it before because Rikku had some shopping site open when she went to use her laptop. It was a picture taken by Yuna. It had to be some time after Halloween but way before Harvest. Rikku's nails were still Gypsy Green. It looked like they were in a parking lot somewhere. It took Paine a second to remember that that was the night they all had an ice cream craving and went to the market late to buy a tub of vanilla ice cream and an obscene amount of toppings. That's when the winter chill started picking up. Paine in the image was wearing Shuyin's maroon beanie, her leather jacket and her purple scarf Rikku got her. She had her left arm around Rikku's waist as the blonde wrapped her right arm around Paine's and rested her head against her shoulder. She wore a content little smile and was holding a bag in her left hand. It was a nice picture of them Paine concluded as she closed the laptop and blinked a few times. When did Rikku turn off the lights?

"Hey." Rikku whispered sleepily when she felt Paine get into bed and spoon her.

"I like your background." Paine whispered before she leaned down and placed a little kiss on Rikku's cheek. "Do I get a goodnight kiss?" She asked. Her girlfriend nodded and they shared a soft kiss on the lips. Paine smiled a little as she watched Rikku close her eyes again. "You forgot…"

"No." Rikku rubbed her eyes open now. "You were taking too long, I told you I was getting sleepy."

Paine nodded and then kissed Rikku again on her cheek. "Let me make it up to you, Baby."

Rikku rolled onto her back and crossed her arms as she looked at Paine. "You said that already today."

Paine chuckled and leaned forward to place a few kisses on her neck. "I know, that's because I was really excited about that part of my apology."

"Well you know what I'm really excited about?"

"Hm?"

"Sleep… Go hug up on your sword." Paine laughed onto Rikku's neck and the blonde smiled. "But I just want to let you know that I don't think it will put up with your nonsense like I do."

Paine wrapped her left arm around Rikku's stomach under the blankets. "That's why you're a keeper, Princess." Paine found Rikku's lips again in a tender kiss. "I've been really thinking about you all day." Paine mentioned after the kiss.

She really had been, the sword was a welcome distraction to how badly she wanted to touch Rikku again.

"About what?" Rikku whispered noticing the tone in her own voice when she spoke. Paine's left hand was rubbing her lower stomach gently enough for Rikku to know that she was wide awake now.

Paine grinned and placed a few more kisses on Rikku's neck. "Let me show you." She whispered on her tan skin.

Rikku laughed and wrapped her arms around Paine's neck. "Fine fine fine, I guess I'll let you redeem yourself."

##

"You asleep?" Wakka asked as he finally got home from work at midnight. Lulu was tucked in bed as she always was when he saw her now a days.

"I was waiting up." Lulu managed in her sleep soaked state. She even had her eyes still closed.

Wakka smiled to himself and got into bed with his future fiancé. Christmas was only a week away and he could hardly wait to ask her. Sure he was nervous as hell, but Wakka really knew there was no other girl for him. He wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her belly. "How's da big lady and the little man ya?"

"Why do I have to be big?"

Wakka chuckled. "Cause you look like you swallowed a Shoopuf egg, Lu."

Lulu huffed and they both fell quiet for a little while. "Work was—"

"I invited her over."

Wakka picked himself up to look at her face. "You shouldn't have."

"Well I did."

Wakka sighed. "How did it go?" He asked as he brought himself back down on the bed. There was nothing he could do now.

"She…. It went okay I suppose. I honestly think Paine ought to meet her, she didn't have many options and well...I need your help."

"Lu."

"I know."

"And yuh still making me do it? Paine will never wanna look at either of us ever."

"People change, Wakka. They change all of the time and for what? For what?"

Wakka sighed. "The people they love."

"So…"

"So you really think diss'll work? You need to be sure."

"Trust me I understand the delicateness of this all. I'm in this too you know."

Wakka held her closer. "I know."

Lulu sighed. "Father keeps calling…"

"You not answering him?"

"I don't know what to say to him if I did."

"Yuh Mum?"

Lulu chuckled. "Is mother's day too far away?"

"You meetin' up with everyone else's mum but your own." Wakka joked.

"Maybe…. Do you think that I'm doing the right thing in not talking to her first? I must seem so immature."

"She's not exactly getting the mother of the year award."

"She's been—"

"I know it's me."

"Wakka—"

"It's alright ya? I'm already used to it."

"If she can't accept you and our family, then she can't accept me, it's only fair."

"But to who? Little Blitzer needs grandparents to spoil him ya? I've been thinkin' about it, and I don't have parents so…"

Lulu cut him off and grabbed his hand. "_Franco_ will be raised by plenty of people who love him, that's all that's important."

##

Paine held the door open for Rikku as they left Dr. Vice's office a few days later. She dipped her hand in her pocket for her car keys and pulled them out when they got over to the car.

"—I mean I think that he had a lot of positive things to say." Rikku nodded as she slipped her hand from around Paine's arm when they got to the dark blue two door. "You need to wash this thing." Rikku pointed to the car that now looked an ashy blue near the tires.

"It's from all this fucking snow and melting salt. It's supposed to snow again tonight, there's no point."

Rikku just shook her head. "Anyway like I was saying, I think he had a lot of good to say."

Paine got the doors open to her car and sighed heavily once she sat down and kicked off some snow on her boots before putting them in the car. "I don't know." She closed the car door and buckled her seatbelt. "It's helping but…."

"But what?" Rikku asked looking through her purse for a tissue for herself.

Paine began to reverse. "But I hate feeling like some kind of zombie… He said he didn't see any real results in neurotransmitters amounts…"

"But that's because it helps everything stay level, Babe."

"I know I know." Paine turned onto the main road. "Whatever."

"No not whatever, explain to me what you're feeling." Rikku blew her nose lightly. She woke up with the smallest cold that had went away in a few hours and left her nose runny.

"I just can't afford to continue with it Rikks." Paine shrugged in defeat. "I can't and I don't feel like it's helping anymore. I mean no withdrawal symptoms yeah, but nothing else has changed. It's not curbing me wanting to use—"

"You still want to?" Rikku asked a little surprised.

Paine shrugged again. "Sometimes."

"Why?"

Paine furrowed her brows. "Why?"

"Yeah, why do you want to?"

Paine shrugged. "Sometimes when I'm stressed out… nothing really matters when you're high… I miss that."

"You miss not having to worry." Rikku nodded. They had never really gone too deep into detail about Paine doing drugs. The blonde could tell it was something Paine felt ashamed about and would like to forget completely.

Paine nodded. "Reality… It kinda sucks."

"Well not all of it, think of all the things you're able to feel now…"

Paine focused on the road as she thought for a moment. Life had been a lot more exciting in the one year and eleven months that she had been clean. Paine always wondered if this was the kind of person she was underneath the addiction; a responsible young adult going to school, keeping a job, having a steady monogamous relationship. "Feeling… is like the only upside."

Rikku frowned. "What about being healthy? What about you being financially responsible?"

"I guess what I mean is that, it's just something I've never had, even before I started taking drugs. I always struggled with my feelings about myself, about others, just regular kid emotions were hard. Being able to learn that from scratch hasn't been easy, but look, I'm doing it, I feel… normal?" Paine glanced at Rikku who nodded in understanding. "And I was so low before that normal feels like… like I'm at the top of Mt Gagazet or something."

Rikku just smiled at her. This was not the Paine she knew several months ago. She was so proud of her. "I love you."

Paine chuckled. "I love you too, baby."

"Things with Martha are going well. You haven't gone straight home and taken a nap after a session in weeks!"

Paine nodded as she turned a corner. "That's exactly what I'm going to do now though. I'm fucking tired."

"Yeah this was a little early considering…"

Paine smirked. "Someone keeping me up."

Rikku laughed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure, Bayla, sure."

Paine finally pulled up to Rikku's house. "Alright, call me and such." Rikku reminded as she gathered her things and leaned over to give Paine a goodbye kiss.

"I will, thanks for coming today…and last night."

Rikku blushed and playfully hit Paine. "You're worse than a guy, oh my gosh."

Paine grinned and leaned in to steal one more kiss. "Love you." She called as Rikku hopped of the passenger's seat.

"Love you too, Pypo."

"Tell Cidney I said hi."

Rikku laughed and gave her a thumbs up as she left for her porch, keys in hand.

##

Paine froze once she entered her apartment thirty minutes later to find all of her roommates, including Wakka sitting in the living room. "What the fuck?" She asked as she kicked out of her boots and shrugged out of her coat. "Who died?"

Gippal stood and looked as his best friend carefully. In all his years of knowing her he didn't know how she was going to react to all this. "Sit down, Dr. P."

##

"Hold on Yunie it's the door."

"At this hour?"

Rikku shrugged. "Could be Pops, you know he lost his key in the snow the other day? He's out with Leblanc right now too" Rikku trotted down the stairs and remembered to check the peep hole. "Paine?" Something seemed so wrong right now it made Rikku's stomach flip. "I'll call you tomorrow Yunie."

Rikku whipped the front door open and examined her girlfriend's appearance. Paine was only wearing her leather jacket and a black V neck shirt in the dead of winter. Her hair was slightly damp and it looked like she was sweating. Her shoes and the knees of her jeans were completely covered in mud too. "What in the Machina happened to you?" She asked stepping aside. She grew even more concerned when Paine didn't move. "Paine!" Paine shook her head lightly and stepped into the house. It was when she passed by that Rikku knew she had been drinking too. "Are you drunk too? Paine, Baby, what's wrong?" Rikku watched as Paine fought to take off her shoes but fell on her ass. The younger of the two put a hand to her forehead. Her girlfriend was never a sloppy drunk. "Paine Amelia Kerrigan."

"I fucked up…" Paine managed from her spot on the ground. "Fuck fuck fuck." She hit the base of her palm to her cheek with each curse and that's when Rikku realized her hands were covered in dirt and her fingernails had a line of black dirt caked into them.

"What are you saying? What did you do?" It was around one in the morning and this was so unlike Paine that she really feared something horrible had happened. Rikku had thought nothing of the fact that Paine never called her to say that she was home or going to sleep, she hadn't thought anything of it until now of course. She leaned down to help Paine stand. "You're—wait, Paine."

Paine had managed to stand up and was now going for the front door again. "I left my… my fucking keys in my car…"

Rikku stilled her. "You drove here! What are you retarded? Huh?"

Paine pushed Rikku off of her. "I'm not retarded okay? Don't call me fucking retarded!"

Rikku's eyes widened. "Baby what the hell! Why are you so worked up? You know I didn't mean it like that, you could have gotten hurt."

"And I'm not fucking hurt either okay?" Paine ran a dirty hand through her hair. "I'm not hurt…."

"Alright alright, but you're scaring me right now."Rikku tried to catch her eyes.

Paine paused. "No, ah fuck baby… I … I didn't mean to. I'm not like this all the time it's just I'm so fucked right now and angry, I'm really fucking angry, but not at you, never at you, I love you okay? I love you with everything I have and everything I know. I just… I'm just….." Paine started breathing heavily and ran both hands through her hair. Rikku heard her take a shaky breath of air. "I'm just…"

"Pypo. It's okay, it's okay." Rikku walked back over to her and tried to lower her hands but Paine just kept them on her head so her arms were covering her face. "It's okay."

"It's not okay!" Paine cried out. "It's not fucking okay! Nothing right now, or ever will be okay again! Can you get that? Can you understand that, Princess?"

"Alright baby, alright." Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine tightly and felt her heart sink its lowest when Paine began to cry. Her body shook and she was literally fighting it with everything she had but it was no use. These tears were a long time coming.

Rikku didn't even know what to do. She was the emotional one, the crier, not Paine. Paine had always been the one dry her tears and reassure her. She was her warrior. The sound of strangled tears broke Rikku's heart into tiny pieces. It wasn't a normal sound; it was the kind of cry that came when you were at your lowest, when there was really nothing left. Rikku had to do something, anything. "Come, upstairs, just you and me, come." Rikku led Paine into her room and sat her on the edge of the bed before disappearing into her bathroom to bring a warm damp hand towel to clean her face with. When she returned to the room Paine was leaning over with her head in her hands. She was still shaking a little and Rikku could hear the tightness of her trying to stop crying. "Let me see your face." Paine didn't move. "It's okay." Rikku whispered as she walked over to her and tilted Paine's chin up to wipe her face clean of tears, sweat, or any dirt that got on it because of her hands. Paine didn't look at Rikku, she just took a shaky breath.

"It's okay to cry Pai—"

"Lulu's father is my biological father..."

Rikku yanked herself away to get a good look at Paine. "What!"

"He fucked an 18 year old girl 21 years ago, he didn't want anything to do with me because he was already married and shit, gave her money to take care of me… I wish she fucking did. Cunt."

"Paine!"

"What Rikku! What? I'm sorry for fucking cursing alright? But what in the fuck do you want me to do right now? Huh? You got some happy ass story about your life that you can tell me to make me feel better? No, no you don't, because I'm still fucking here. I'm still here and I wish I wasn't."

Rikku's frown deepened. "Don't talk like that."

"I dug that bitch's grave too."

"What? Who's?"

"Lulu, for when I put her pregnant ass in it," Paine shot up a new fire in her eyes that Rikku had only seen once before.

Rikku pushed her back down on the bed and Paine glared. "I don't even know if what you're saying is true because frankly you smell like you've been swimming in sake."

"Who the fuck does she think she is Rikku?"

"I can't believe you actually dug her grave, Are you crazy!

"Well we can check now can't we? Create a fucking family tree."

Rikku sighed. "Paine."

"I mean where the fuck did they think I went?" Her voice broke. "What kind a person lives that close knowing, fucking knowing that they have… another child? That they just turned their back on. He fucking looked me in the eye downstairs and did nothing! What kind of person just gives up a kid and doesn't look back until twenty one frickin' years later!"

Rikku sat beside Paine. There had to be some truth to this. Paine wasn't the type to waist her time and energy digging anyone's grave unless she was really convinced that they deserved it.

Or she was a drunken emotional wreck…

"…When I was getting bullied and called names and fucking beat to shit where the fuck were these two? Huh? When I was getting abused and when I started crushing oxy with my textbooks and snorting it, just so I had the fucking balls to go and fuck some girl who said she loved me, just to try and pretend to feel that because I wasn't getting it anywhere else, where the fuck were they?" Paine's face twisted in hurt and she began crying again. "Fuck Rikku." She was holding her head again in what resembled a sitting fetal position. "Where?"

Rikku reached hand out to sooth Paine and her girlfriend flinched away so quickly she almost fell off the bed.

"Please just…I…I can't." She stammered.

"Baby."

"Stop!" Paine moved her hands away and glared at Rikku. "Just stop it!"

"What am _I_ doing?" Rikku asked in a mixture of hurt and confusion. Paine's face softened considerably and she put her head in her hands again. Rikku knew that that was her cue. She scooted closer to Paine and wrapped her right arm around her back.

"I can't do this Rikku…" Paine sniffled and leaned into the comforting embrace. "Why me? Why can't I just catch my breath before something gets thrown at me again? I'm not that strong… I'm not this strong…"

It broke Rikku's heart so bad to see her person in this type of anguish, because that's what it was. Paine didn't know how to feel and it was evident in how quickly she seesawed between deep sadness and intense anger.

"Whatever you can't do I will do for you, this is how this works baby. I'm right here. I'm never leaving; you just need to calm down okay? Take a breath for me Pypo. " Paine nodded and took another shaky breath. "That's good."

"They should have never told me… They should have just let me be happy not knowing…I was happy." Paine took another deep breath. "They should have never told me."

"Everyone deserves to know the truth, Paine."

Paine just shook her head no. "I came here cause… cause you know how to keep me out of trouble… you know how to handle—"

"I know how to love you." Rikku corrected. "You're not something that needs to be handled Paine. You're a person, _my_ beautiful, strong, intelligent, funny, brave, caring person. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You hear me?" Rikku kissed Paine's temple and just held her closer as she tried to calm down. To see Paine so broken stirred something up in Rikku. Whoever had made her girlfriend cry was in for a huge surprise.

**AN: I feel so bad that I haven't replied to reviews until the last minute. Life has been nuts! Lol I really hope you like this chapter. I love all the new reviewers too! Keep 'em coming and I'll keep writing! It's going to be an emotional next couple of chapters, buckle up kiddies. **

**KathleenDee **


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty Seven**

**AN: This one too…. **

"_Ssh Shhh." The young woman held the 11 month old close to her chest to shield it against the city winds as she turned another corner. It was early morning and the ticket in her from pocket was still wet with tears from the night before. _

_Because there was only one_

_One more hour till her train to Bevelle left._

_One more block to the center she was redirected to._

_One more month before Paine Amelia turned one._

_One more chance at a new life, a better one, where she could grow up with food in her tummy and a chance at a real family._

_One more_

_Keira held her daughter closer as she passed a few off looking men in winter caps. Paine cried out as a snowflake hit her small red nose. _

"_Sssh Shhh,.. um, Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember…." The young unwed mother began to sing quietly as she continued on in the first snow. Paine quieted down and watched the woman above her with wide and glossy auburn eyes. She didn't know much in her 11 months on this planet but she did know that voice, that tone, it meant plenty of kisses and songs, goofy faces, and new diapers. Paine liked that voice. "Once upon a December….." _

##

Paine continued to throw up.

Rikku rubbed her back soothingly and was ready with a cool glass of water with a straw in it and a dry hand towel. "Drink."

Paine picked herself up and shook her head. "No, no more water."

"Paine you're throwing up all of the water in your body, you have no say in this, drink." Rikku pushed the straw near Paine's mouth and her girlfriend took a few sips before her body began to reject it again and she turned fast enough to make it to the toilet

Paine groaned. "Fuccck." She honestly felt like she was dying. She couldn't think of yesterday or the night before because she honestly felt like it didn't matter because she could be dead within the hour.

That's how bad she was feeling.

It was around five in the morning and Paine had hardly had a second to close her eyes before she started getting sick everywhere. Rikku was pissed, but patient which Paine appreciated more than ever because she felt horrible about the blonde's favorite pillow which was now downstairs in the basement wash room along with a few other articles of her clothing and the floor rug near the bathroom door.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice about resorting to hard liquor to solve your problems." Rikku said at the same time as she rubbed Paine's back. She wasn't as upset as she was making herself seem, but Paine needed to understand that everything she did had consequences.

Paine spat one final time. "I said I was sorry."

"Drink."

Paine sighed and finally sat up all the way with her back to the tub. She took a few sips and waited for her body to reject it. When it didn't she took a few more. The cool water helped a little but not enough. "I'm really hot, Rikks." Paine mumbled.

Rikku nodded and put the cup down. "I'm gonna help you take off your shirt." Paine gave her a half nod and leaned forward a little for Rikku to pull the shirt over her head. That helped too, but she was still heating up.

Rikku had been worried the minute Paine's body wouldn't let her drink water, but she didn't want to go to the hospital if they didn't need to. Paine hated hospitals. Rikku handed her the wash cloth and stood so she could climb into the shower and open the small bathroom window near the ceiling. Cold winter air immediately came flooding in making her shiver. She hopped back down and rubbed Paine's arm. "Better?"

Paine was feeling dizzy. "I'm dehydrated." She realized.

"I know." Rikku picked the cup up again and brought the straw to Paine's mouth. "Try and drink a little more."

Paine patted the cold tile in front of her. "I wanna lay down here."

"On the tile?"

"It's cold."

"You can't go to sleep though."

"Okay." Paine mumbled as she curled herself up on the floor. Rikku filled the cup of cold water back up a little more and placed it beside Paine. "I'll be right back okay? Keep drinking this and no sleeping." Paine nodded once and Rikku left the bathroom to go into her room, text her father and Elma and then start getting something for Paine to wear that would equally keep her warm in the cold but not stifle her and would be easy to take off if she got too hot. She settled for basketball shorts, a long sleeve shirt and a zip sweater. Rikku changed out of her pajamas and into Paine's hoody and some jeans then ran downstairs to check on the clothes and then slipped her gloves and boots on to go turn on her car and get it warmed up.

Paine was still where she left her when Rikku returned.

"Maybe….maybe we should call Em."

"I already did Pypo. We're gonna go to the emergency room." Rikku picked up the wash rag and the cup of water and tossed it into the sink before flushing the toilet and leaning down to help Paine get up.

"But we could just call her…" Paine took the shirt Rikku was giving her to put on.

"You already have a history of kidney issues, and you're heating up. We're going in." Paine sighed childishly and Rikku rubbed her back. "I know." It was amazing how she even lasted two weeks of hospitalization before.

"I need pants." Paine motioned to herself just wearing a shirt and her underwear.

"Oh, here." Rikku handed her the sport shorts and helped her into them before giving her the jacket and then exiting the bathroom to get her purse. They were in the car when Rikku's cell phone went off. Rikku hit the button on the steering wheel twice.

"Milan."

"Pops. Did you get my message?"

"That's why I'm calling, how is she?"

Rikku glanced at Paine. "We're just going to get her looked at. Can I call you back?"

"Alright, when you get news let me know, bye."

Rikku hung up and looked over at Paine again. "Hey hey!" She snapped her fingers and Paine jumped a little. "No sleeping." Paine moved around in her seat a little. "You okay?"

"No."

"Are you going to be sick?"

"No."

"Do you love me?"

"No,"

Rikku laughed. "It's gonna be okay. They'll hang fluids and everything, you're gonna be just fine."

"And after?"

"Let's not worry about that right now okay? We'll figure everything out later."

Paine sighed and decided to let Rikku lead on this. "Okay."

Rikku nodded and rubbed Paine's knee. "You're still hot." She observed. "Unzip your jacket." Paine did as she was told and Rikku lowered Paine's window a little more.

##

Rikku didn't say anything when Gippal came to sit beside her in the waiting room while Elma looked at Paine.

"—I should have followed her." Gippal said sadly. "I'm always—"

"You should have." Rikku cut him off not trying to hear any of Gippal's explanation. Right now Rikku didn't know a lot of the details, but she did know that she had a bone to pick with someone. She wasn't about to be nice to Gippal if he was that person.

Gippal recoiled a little not expecting such a cut off by the girl beside him. "What's your problem? I'm here for Paine too y'know?"

"My problem is that you and whoever else was involved sprung probably the most important news in my girlfriend's life on her when she was nowhere near prepared, but that's not the only problem I have Gippal. You are her best friend, her _best_ friend, and yet throughout all of this all you could do to help support her as she tries to get over this drug thing is offer a spiff and some shitty advice."

"Listen Cid's girl you don't know shit about Paine and I alright? She doesn't tell you everything—"

"She tells me enough."

"You're one to criticizes you know that? And what the fuck? You've only been around for how long? I've been her friend since we were fucking kids."

"Then start acting like it! She's never once told me about you being there when she came back from those homes, you'd just act like she never left. That's not what Paine needs right now."

"Oh and you know what she needs? You can't possibly know, you haven't the slightest clue about how Paine did things back then."

"I know exactly what she needs."

"Oh yeah? What's that Princess?"

Rikku narrowed her eyes at him. The nickname had started out to be teasing, and then it slowly became this affectionate thing that Paine used when everything else was just too hard to say. But that was Paine's and no one else's and Gippal was only saying it to be a dick right now. "Where the hell were you when she was having all these withdrawal symptoms, y'know the ones she's taking medication for, the ones she could seriously get hurt from?"

"Get off your fucking high horse; she was clean for a year without you!"

"Yeah no thanks to you, you're still a fucking addict."

"And you're still the little girl who fucked her teacher for an A."

Rikku slapped Gippal

Hard

Gippal was more shocked than Rikku was right now, and Rikku looked pretty shocked. He brought his hand up to his lip and felt the warm blood coat his finger. "Oui pedlr."

Rikku just stared at him. The shock had worn off and something else replaced it.

Pride

No one fucked with Rikku Milan Bayla

She was just not that person anymore.

"That's enough!" Elma stormed into the waiting room. She pushed Gippal's shoulder. "What is wrong with you? You too." She pointed to Rikku. "I come in here to give you _both_ news about your girlfriend and your best friend to find you fighting?"

"She hit me!" Gippal pointed in anger.

Rikku crossed her arms. "fru'c dra pedlr huf?"

"Enough!" Elma stopped the two from getting into something again. It was already enough that Gippal was dripping blood onto the ground and everyone else in the waiting room were staring. Now she had to tell them why Paine had to stay overnight. She gave Gippal a napkin and pulled them into an empty examination room.

The two Al Bhed sat on opposite sides of the room while Elma made sure someone was cleaning up the blood on the ground. The redhead walked into the room and closed the door. "I don't know what he said to you Rikku but that was inappropriate." Rikku didn't say anything. Elma turned to Gippal and glared at him. "You know better." He didn't say anyrhing either. Elma straightened up and looked at the chart in her hand.

##

"Alcohol poisoning and endocrine system disruption because of dehydration. Your ADH hormone was suppressed meaning…well you know what that means." Elma nodded.

Paine sighed. It was now 12 in the afternoon that same day and Elma had to wake her up or else she'd sleep for days. Paine cleared her throat a little and looked about the room. She definitely felt a lot better than she did that morning but she was sporting a massive headache.

"We hung fluids and have been monitoring blood glucose just to make sure nothing else happened with your hormone levels. Everything is stable."

Paine nodded. "Where's Rikku?" Her voice was scratchy and dry.

Elma sighed. "She's waiting along outside with Gippal… they got into an altercation."

"Gip is here? What do you mean?"

"She hit him."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Rikku? Rikku Bayla?"

"Pretty good too, I think she's been hanging out with a certain someone a little too much."

Paine was too busy trying to wrap her head around Rikku actually hitting someone, Gippal of all people! They were Al Bhed buddies and members of the Blonde Bombshell Club along with Tidus. Why would they be fighting?

"You should be able to go home soon, but um, where ever that is someone isn't going to be happy." Elma reminded. Either way either Gippal or Rikku would be feeling bad. Elma put her things down. "Paine?"

Paine focused on her friend noting that her professional tone turned to one that she was most used to. The one she heard when they'd bump into each other in the kitchen in the middle of the night. "Yeah, Em?"

"About yesterday…"

Paine shook her head. "I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to see Rikku and Gippal now."

Elma nodded. "You know where to find me…though, I would prefer if we stopped meeting like this. Okay?"

Paine gave her a small smile to let her it had nothing to do with her. Elma smiled back and then left the room.

"You feeling okay, Pypo?" Rikku asked as she walked in, Gippal wasn't far behind.

Paine nodded feeling a whole lot better now that Rikku was here. "I keep scaring you." She said when she noticed the worry in Rikku's eyes.

"You really do." Rikku leaned down and kissed the side of Paine's face before fussing over her hair. That's when Paine got a good look at Gippal's lip. "Gip" she greeted.

"Dr. P, you alive?"

Paine nodded. "What happened between you two?" No one said anything and Paine just looked between the two of them. "You guys want to fight each other now? Now?"

"Nothing happened." Rikku spoke up. "We were just both worked up about you being in here and all." Rikku glanced at Gippal before nodding. "Its fine, Pai."

"Is it?" Paine asked Gippal.

"Yeah." He shrugged.

##

"I want to know why you would think it was a good idea to spring this on her just like that without any warning or anything!"

Lulu sighed. She was really getting it alright. Who knew Rikku could yell like this? "Rikku I had to tell her."

"Then you should have told just her, not all her roommates, Yevon you have no idea what you did do you?"

"Sooner or later she was going to find out, do you think she would have handled it better if some woman came up to her in the street and introduced herself as her mother? She's my half sister, she had to know, I'm not too please about this either, but you can at least understand why I did what I did. Do you really think Paine would agree to sit down with me and talk to me like this? No."

"No, but you really should have talked to me first."

"Frankly it's none of your business unless Paine wanted it to be. I understand what you are—"

"You really don't, Lulu. I know why you did it, but you really have no clue what Paine had to go through. What she will have to go through now." Rikku sighed. This confrontation thing wasn't her thing. She was just so worked up. Seeing Paine like that last night really messed with her head, still Lulu was clearly trying to help. "So what now?"

Lulu sighed as well. "We'll wait, whenever she is ready."

"I don't think that's ever going to come. What do you know about this lady?"

"I know she means business; I know she came here to reconnect with Paine. I know she isn't just here for her own gain. She wants to try, I don't however know how my…our father plays a role in this. I refuse to speak with him until I speak to Paine."

Rikku nodded. "How's little D'Autry?"

"Stressed."

"I could only imagine."

"I'm sorry if I caused any problems. I just got tired of all the secrets; this one really pushed me over the edge."

"I understand."

"How is Paine anyway?"

"She's pretty banged up… she dug a grave for you last night in a drunken stupor. She won't tell me where though."

Lulu let out a small amused sound. "I'm guessing she wouldn't want to talk today then."

"No probably not a good idea."

Rikku and Lulu hung up just in time for Paine to slowly make her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She was wearing her NLU hoody with the hood up and her dark purple baggy sweatpants. They were having a late late breakfast. Paine shuffled to the breakfast nook and plopped down and looked at her hands for a moment before speaking. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be."

"I… I am though." Paine finally looked up at Rikku. "I got real low last night….I'm trying."

"I know you are. I love that you are." Rikku knew Paine was really giving it her all not to just reduce to who she used to be. This wasn't just everyday news though, this was big.

"I don't know what else to do Rikks, I don't know, I feel shitty and just confused and I don't know where to go from here…. I have fucking parents…."

"It's a lot to deal with, I know and I need you to understand that you just cannot do this again. You can't try and hide behind these things. You need to embrace what you are feeling, you need to acknowledge it. What would have happened if you were on your medication? You can't drink with that."

"I wasn't thinking."

"You weren't, and I need you to start. There are always consequences for your actions Paine, always. Your health is what I'm really concerned about. You're not a spring chicken anymore…."

"I'm twenty one…"

"…You're more of one of those chickens they tried to slaughter but something always happens and they don't, you're missing a couple feathers, babe."

"I don't know how this is meant to make me feel better."

Rikku smiled. "All I'm saying is that you have to be careful, Yevon at least go a few months without having me drive to the hospital in a panic, okay? I hate waiting rooms too y'know."

Paine nodded. "What happened?"

"When?"

"With you and Gippal… You hit him?"

"I slapped him." Rikku corrected.

"Why?"

Rikku sighed and turned to make her and Paine some tea. "It's not important now."

"It is to me."

"It shouldn't be."

Paine sighed. "I know you too y'know. I know that you hum your Al Bhed alphabet when you brush your teeth, I know you lost Little Puppy and are afraid to tell me, it's okay I'm not mad, I also know that you and Gippal were friends... I know that it had to be something that struck a nerve and I can only think of a handful of things that do that that Gip knows about. I hate the thought of you two fighting and he is my best friend but… You're my girlfriend. If he said something to disrespect you I need to know."

"I didn't lose Little Puppy, he's definitely in this house….somewhere."

"Rikku."

The blonde sighed and placed her tea down and then Paine's down in front of her. "I started it."

"You did?"

"He was harping about how he should have followed you and I got tired of him making excuses for all this stuff. You did drugs partly because of him, you got shot because of him—"

"I almost got arrested….."

"Because of me, I know Paine and I took responsibility for that. I have haven't I?" Paine nodded. "But you just let him off like it's okay for him to keep being careless. I know he's your best friend but you are changing and frankly he's not. I don't know what you expected me to do. I know less than everyone about what happened and I wasn't about to be nice to a guy who put you in a place or didn't recognize that you were in a bad place when you left. So yes I started it. I called him an addict because let's not forget that even though he said he would stop too, he hasn't."

"Shit." Paine ran her hands on her face. That was a sore spot for Gippal. She knew he cut down a lot but that's only because Paine wasn't using anymore and they used to do it together. It was just something that no one ever talked about, and here Rikku was; talking about it.

"Then he brought up Auron and…I slapped him."

"He what?" Paine asked hoping that she had heard her wrong.

"I slapped him because A, I was already mad, and B, because what in the hell does he know about it? What does anyone really know about it?"

"What did he say to you?" Paine gripped the handle on the tea cup.

Rikku shook her head. "It was impulsive and stupid of both of us, I just don't want to see his face for a little while okay? You need to calm down."

Paine knew she wasn't going to get anything out of Rikku so she calmed down and let her back relax again the breakfast nook. "You calm down."

Rikku didn't even realize she had tensed up until Paine said something. She took a deep breath and slouched a little. "Pypo."

"Yeah…" Paine went back to looking at her hands.

"I love you."

It was a nice little reminder as the weight that the two were all too familiar with finally settled on them again.

"I love you too." She found Rikku's eyes before reaching for her tea.

Rikku tilted her head and watched as Paine's forehead wrinkle in worry. "Damm sa?"

"I'm just confused. I'm hurt and just angry, I'm still so angry Rikks and I don't know when it's going to go away… What am I supposed to do now? and then Gippal… Gippal." Paine turned her head in thought.

"Well right _now_ I'm going to make us breakfast, and then we're going for a drive."

"A drive? Where?"

"It's a surprise."

"I don't know how many more surprises I can handle."

"I would never put you in a position where you weren't safe okay?" Rikku stood and walked over to her girlfriend. "You just need some time to think, and you can't do that here." Rikku cupped her cheek and leaned down and kissed her twice there. "Scrambled or over easy?"

"I'm not hungry…."

Rikku frowned. "You need to eat something, Doctor's orders."

"I just said I wasn't—" Paine stopped herself. Rikku was only trying to help. She sighed. "I'll have cereal."

"No eggs?"

"No."

Rikku nodded and poured Paine a bowl before placing it down in front of her and rubbing her back gently. "What?" She asked gently. She hated seeing Paine so torn up.

"I'm just…" Paine let out a heavy sigh. "How would you feel if you found out your mother was still alive? That she just left and you thought she was gone forever until she just decided to come back, just like that?"

"I'd…I'd feel hurt, I'd feel abandoned. I'd need snuggles for sure."

Paine shook her head. "You always need snuggles."

Rikku smiled a little. "Well you asked if it was me right?"

"Hm."

Rikku went about pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She didn't have much of an appetite she could only imagine how Paine felt, especially having come straight from the hospital.

Paine sighed and scooped up some milk with her spoon and then dropped it back into the bowl of floating wheat squares. They ate breakfast quietly. Paine focusing very intensely on the mechanics involved with chewing and swallowing, Rikku thinking of something to talk about, something to give the breakfast some normalcy without making it seem like she was trying too hard. Paine still looked hurt and more confused than ever, so Rikku decided to just keep quiet until Paine said something. She eventually did when they were gathering some clothes for the cold north.

"Am I running?"

Rikku froze in thought and then continued pushing her sketch pad in her school back pack. "No. You're just going to get some space to think."

"She's here you know… My.. mother." The words seemed so unfitting to say.

"Lulu told me."

"You talked to her?" Paine started to look upset.

"She's only trying to help, Paine."

"Tell her to mind her own business."

"You are her little sister, you are her business.

Paine huffed. "The only thing that we have in common is that the same guy stuck his dick into two differen—"

"Stop being so vulgar."

"She's not my real sister. I don't have a real sister, or a mother, or a father. So I would really appreciate it if you stopped accepting them as that."

Rikku nodded. "Okay."

"I had to raise myself, me." Paine pointed to herself. "These are just people who decided that now was the time to say something. It will never change what happened."

"I know that, and I think they do too."

Paine hung her head and ran her hands through her un styled hair. This was a little too much right now. I can't do this." She breathed.

"You can."

Paine shook her head. "But what if I don't want to? Don't I get a say in any of this? I had no choice then but I have one now don't I?"

Rikku nodded. "That's right. You need to decide if these are people you want in your life."

"I don't even know her…"

"Exactly."

"She could never be my mother… She can't tell me what to do."

Rikku chuckled. "I can't even tell you what to do."

"But I don't—"

"Eh! No more thinking until we are out of the city, is that clear?"

`Paine nodded.

##

Paine returned to her apartment a day later. She opened the window in her room to get a little air in, it felt stale and stuffy. Nothing at all like the Luca countryside where she and Rikku literally just drove around until they got tired and then snuggle close to one another at night and talked quietly before they fell asleep. It was freezing half the time, but it had been a welcome change from the bustling city. It gave Paine space, and she knew she hadn't yet made a decision on what she wanted to do, stepping away for a second allowed her to calm down. It didn't at all mean that she was going to stop avoiding Lulu and Wakka, no, Paine was still upset about everything, and she was pretty sure if someone even mentioned her half sister she would be put into a bad mood. But more than anything Paine Kerrigan was just confused, where the anger swelled a few days ago confusion took its place, she felt very off guard and exposed. She didn't like it one bit. She could have passed her own mother on the street and not even know it. It was unsettling, and Paine felt more paranoid than ever. But coupled with that paranoia and confusion came a maturity that she hadn't noticed had developed over the years. She was definitely aware that what she was feeling now had always been there. It was on the inside, and it stemmed from her childhood. She had to address this as twenty one year old Paine, not as the scared mousy child she used to be. Still, Paine felt that just as one place in her heart was beginning to fill nicely for a certain Al Bhed blonde, the other half was found with way more holes than she talked herself into believing existed.

"She left it here." Paine shook her head when she picked up one of her girlfriend's favorite scarfs. She remembered that Rikku was looking for it before they left a day ago.

"You're back."

Paine turned around to see Gippal standing in the doorway of her room. She nodded once. "Yeah."

"Where'd you go?"

"For a long drive with Rikku. Just… y'know clear my head. Mi'ihen Highroad exit 5…"

"She didn't talk your ear off or nothin'?" Gippal tried to joke. He wasn't exactly sure where they stood right now. If anyone was supposed to have her back it was him, and he hadn't, again.

Paine placed the scarf on her bed and unpacked her small bag as she talked. "She just listened mostly."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"…How you feeling?"

"How am I feeling? Really?"

"Alright then what's the plan?"

Paine sighed. "There is no plan."

Gippal finally stepped into the room. "No plan? What? That's not like you at all! You always got a plan Dr. P." He sat on the bed near Rikku's forgotten scarf. Paine took Rikku's scarf and moved it. Gippal's smile fell. "Ah so it's like that?"

"Just like that." Paine went about continuing to unpack and for a while they didn't say anything. She was upset with him, how dare he bring something like that up, he knew better, he had promised even.

"After all these years?"

"Stop."

"— You got a little pussy and now—"

"Gip."

"—You think you're better now? Huh? Two years clean and you're this hot shot? Fuck that Paine over some chick? Some rich girl? You're going to forget all the shit that I did for you and—"

Paine began repacking her bag. "You got three second to get the fuck outta my room." The thing with Gippal was he was fine until something was done that he didn't like, or he felt threatened in a way, then he just exploded like this. Of course it helped if he were a little high, which he looked. Paine knew how to handle him most of the time, but right now she just didn't have the energy. It wasn't fair that he just got to yell how he felt and she was supposed to sit and take it.

"Or what? We both know you've gone soft, haven't been the same since, not even working out –"

"That's because I had fucking surgery Gippal, because I got shot, because _you_ didn't know how in the fuck to keep your nose out of Bart's business alright? You're so fucking selfish it's unbelievable."

"I'm selfish? Me? Wow that's shocking to hear, what about you stringing along Dona for fucking years. You think you're this changed person but c'mon who are you fooling?"

"If Dona is the only example of me being selfish towards _you_ that you have then you really need to pick a different word." Gippal went on yelling and Paine grabbed a few more things from her room and paused before turning to go into her closet and taking out a thin shoe box like case before moving to sidestep Gippal. He wouldn't let her pass though.

"You're really going to pick her over me right now?"

"Are you making me choose?"

"Yes."

"Get the fuck out of my way."

Paine glared at him when he stopped her this time with his hand on her shoulder. "She's done nothing, and she knows nothing."

"What have you done for me? Huh? Paine shrugged his arm away. "What have you done but facilitate all this mess with your bullshit. You know what it is? I think you're jealous that I'm actually fucking trying while you just coast. I think it really fucking pisses you off that Rikku would pick some low life like me over a low life like you. Even Elma doesn't want you, and it pisses you the fuck off. Grow the fuck up."

Gippal was seething. "You don't know shit about Elma."

"Move Gippal. Move before you get an addition to that lip."

"You think I won't hit you back? You're not a girl to me."

Paine dropped her bags right there. "Hit me."

##

"That's rough." Baralai said as he passed over a mug of hot chocolate to Paine who was sitting on a bar stool in his lavish kitchen in the Montgomery family home in The Heights. It was nice and small, sort of like Yuna's house. It definitely felt empty like Rikku's though. The shale counter tops were cold and the stainless steel refrigerator had probably never been quite full. It was only really Baralai, his mom Shoshanna, and his westie terrier Ifrit. His father was into politics and was always about just like Braska was always traveling.

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

Paine took a sip of the hot beverage and sighed. She was tired of everyone asking this question. "I don't know."

The snowy hair boy nodded and took a sip from his own mug. "I'm cool with it."

"Thanks I just need… neutral ground. Your mom won't mind?"

"Nah she loves you remember? Father is away as usual."

"Cool."

The two were quiet for a few minutes. "You want to go watch annoying Christmas cartoons?"

"God yes."

It was odd for all their time apart she and Lai were so much still alike. He understood her and she him. It was strange. He just knew that Paine was talked out and didn't want to think about the last two days. She just needed an environment where she wasn't expected to do anything at all. Not even be a girlfriend. Baralai was happy to oblige, he was glad she felt like they were in a place where she could come to him and not worry.

The two moved into the small living room with the big plasma TV and wooden coffee table. There was a short Christmas tree in the corner with boring white lights and decorated with glass ornaments, on the marble fireplace mantel were pictures of Lai and his cousins in Bevelle, another of Baralai as a little boy on the first day of primary school, he was missing his two front teeth but was smiling like he was going to explode with happiness, his mother and father's wedding photo, and then one of Ifirit with a birthday hat on. It was only then that Paine wondered what Baralai had been up to in their time apart. The sea foam blue couches were probably the most comfortable couches Paine had ever sat on. Lai laughed and reached for the remote when he saw Paine looking around at the couches. "I know, you should see Ify rub his belly on these things."

"Screw the guest room, I'll sleep out here."

Lai chuckled and they began watching the same holiday specials of kiddie cartoons old and new. Paine didn't know how long they were sitting there but she was brought out of the trance when her cell phone buzzed on the coffee table. It was a text from Rikku.

_**He was in the couch in the den!**_

Paine actually smiled to herself at the attached photo of Rikku's digital pet key chain safely hooked back on her keys.

_**Such a responsible parent**_

_**Well his other mommy knew he was lost and didn't say anything….**_

_**I knew you felt bad about it.**_

_**Well I found him now, where are you, at home?**_

_**I'm at Lai's, I got into it with Gippal, might stay a few days.**_

_**Over there?**_

_**Yeah**_

Paine really didn't want Rikku to feel bad about her choice. It was just that she didn't want to bring Rikku down with her. Her mood was changing all the time and she knew it could be exhausting to the blonde to keep up and maintain her patience. Paine knew she was a handful at times, and it shouldn't be like that. Rikku was her girlfriend, not her mother.

It took a little longer for Rikku to reply but she eventually did.

_**Alright, I understand. I'm just a ten minute walk away if you need me though.**_

_**You're amazing**_

_**I know :) Call me before you go to sleep?**_

_**Okay**_

Just as Paine put her phone on the coffee table again and Lai commented on something the front door opened and Ifrit jumped up from his spot on the ground and ran towards the door to greet Baralai's mom.

"Bar Bar?"

"I'm in here Ma!"

"I haven't seen your mom in forever..."

"I wonder if she remembers y—"

"Is that Paine Kerrigan I see!"

"Yup." Baralai laughed.

##

"I'm worried about her." Rikku admitted a few days later on Christmas Eve. She and her cousin were in her kitchen starting the cooking on the ham so it would be ready for when everyone came over early the next day. "She calls me sometimes, sometimes she doesn't, and I can't make her call me, I'm just worried because of what happened before."

"I think she's just trying to figure things out on her own. Is she coming tomorrow still?"

"I'll text her now to ask and make sure. She said she would but Paine's head is everywhere these days."

"I don't blame her at all." Yuna moved to get the cloves out of the cabinet to stick in the ham. "The more I think about it the more I see the resemblance between her and Lulu. I don't know how we missed it."

"I always thought they looked alike, but not enough to be related, Anyway Lulu is still a four letter word right now." Rikku typed a quick message to her girlfriend. "I can understand why she's so upset, but honestly I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow when Lulu and Wakka come over."

"Tidus told me that she's not even talking to Wakka either."

Rikku just sighed. "I've never seen Paine like that before, she's really in a difficult place." Rikku carelessly plucked a few cloves from the container Yuna opened and stuck them in a section of the ham. "Am I doing this right?"

"No you have to stick them like this—"

"No I mean this girlfriend thing. Am I doing it right, Yunie? Sometimes I feel like I'm too harsh, sometimes I feel like she could walk all over me if she wanted to. Sometimes I just feel like I could be doing more."

Yuna smiled. "In my opinion I think you are both giving it your best shot. Rikku, Paine isn't the only one who has changed these last couple of months. You're a lot more patient and a little less carless. I think you both do good things for each other. Relationships aren't easy though, by no means are they a walk in the park."

"I know, Pops said the same thing to me yesterday when we went out for lunch together. I'm just really torn as to how much I can expect from her. I can't exactly make her come to Christmas if she doesn't want to because of Lulu, but then again I want her here. I miss her being around so much."

"I think you should say that, but then keep in mind that she does need a lot of time on her own. There are things I'm sure she hasn't told you that she's hurt about. I think Lulu is just the easiest representation of everything she can't say." Rikku nodded. "I think you're doing a great job. Better than me." Yuna added with a little laugh.

The two continued talking for a few hours cooking and singing Christmas songs on the radio. It wasn't until Rikku ran up to her room to get something that her phone in her pocket begun to buzz signaling she had a call. Paine hadn't answered Rikku's text, but she was calling right now.

"So muja." Rikku greeted with a little smile.

"Hey Princess."

"How are you?"

"I'm alright. Just driving back to Lai's from the gym, I didn't see your text earlier my phone was in my bag."

"Elma gave you the go ahead?"

"Yeah, this morning."

"Oh well that's good. I bet it was an aggressive work out."

"Yeah it was, I'm sore all over but I got a lot out."

"That's really good, you sound good."

"Yeah."

"When am I going to see you?"

"I'll come over tonight."

"And tomorrow? You read my text right?"

"Yeah."

"And..?"

Paine sighed and Rikku frowned. "I know you want me to come…."

"But?"

"We'll talk about it when I come over."

"Fine, call me when you're on your way."

"Alright, bye." Paine hung up feeling like a jerk. She knew how important the holiday's were to Rikku, but they were just days to Paine. Call her deprived, but she never saw the importance until she started dating Rikku. I mean the girl bought her a stocking; Paine almost had to go once she remembered that. These days just seemed like family kind of things. Now that she and Gippal were definitely not talking, Elma was working and Nooj traveled to warmer weather so he could maintain his _free_ lifestyle, Paine didn't feel like she had much of anything on Crenshaw. She visited Joyce the other day and her phone died so she wasn't able to tell Rikku what was going on. She didn't have to but she knew how Rikku liked to share things about her day when they were apart. Wakka had even tried calling her a few times. She felt bad; he was her gym buddy and her… half brother in law? At least after tomorrow.

Had she really been ignoring one of her close friends for no real logical reason? Sure she wasn't Lulu's biggest fan but…

Paine shook her head as she pulled into the empty parking space in front of Lai's house.

Where was this anger supposed to go then?

No one was home except for little Ifrit and he didn't care if Paine were all sweaty from the gym, he still ran up to her with his tail wagging like crazy and that loveable little smile of his.

"Hey If." Paine bent down and patted him on the head and the dog immediately rolled over so she could pet his stomach. "Pets too? Ah man, you're worse than Kimahri."

##

"You can't keep doing this." He crossed his arms.

Keira shook her head as more tears kept flowing. "I'm so sorry."

"What is wrong with you? Do we need to replace you? Just last week you had all these songs nailed, now look at you, you can't get even get through the first number without turning into….this!" Claude threw his hands up in defeat. "I thought you dreamt of this role since you were a little girl? Isn't that what you told me when you came in here with no where to stay? I put you up because you have the voice of an aeon…" Claude just shook his head as Keira continued to cry. "You have five minutes to get yourself together. I said get into character but this… this is too much." He shook his head and walked away.

_Ten minutes later_

"Just push through it, Keir." Carlo, the male lead whispered when he noticed her teary brown eyes.

"And bring me home—" Keira closed her eyes and belted out the last line. "At laaasssst." She pulled the last word out till there was no more air in her lungs.

Claude jumped up in the empty audience clapping. "Better, much better! Opening night needs that right there. I don't care if you ruin your make up sobbing backstage, bring that!"

##

Paine wrapped her free arm around Rikku's back and deepened the hello kiss.

Rikku let her for a few moments and then pulled away. Paine sighed and released her. "Come in." The blonde stepped aside so Paine could enter and the cold air could leave. The house was warm and familiar and smelt of pine needles and ham. "What's all this?" Rikku asked motioning to the gifts wrapped poorly in holiday wrapping paper tucked under Paine's one arm.

"They're gifts."

"Are you bringing them now because you won't be here tomorrow?"

"No." Paine wondered off into the den and placed them under the Christmas tree. "Santa comes on Christmas eve right? In the night?"

Rikku smiled. "Yeah."

"Well okay then. I'm just trying to do this right." Paine had walked over to Rikku's since it wasn't too bad in distance and she needed more than the short three minute drive to get her thoughts together. She took off her coat leaving her in her NLU hoody, a random black beanie, and jeans. Rikku followed as she went back into the main hall and hung them up and slipped out of her shoes. Paine looked up and found Rikku looking at her. "What?"

"You're staying for Christmas?" She asked hopefully.

Paine nodded. "Well I brought the gifts, and I'm already here…"

"You might as well." Rikku smiled.

Paine smiled just a little as she walked up to Rikku and wrapped both arms around her. "I might as well." She leaned down and kissed Rikku softly. It was the type of kiss that could go somewhere, somewhere where none of the world could see, and there was no such thing as problems. Paine pulled away gently but kept her arms around Rikku.

Rikku snaked her hands up Paine's arms and intertwined her fingers at her neck. She missed touching Paine too. "You seem well." She whispered.

"I've been thinking a lot." Paine whispered back.

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "Mhm."

"About what?"

"How foolish I've been… How lucky I've been."

Rikku tilted her head and smiled. "Are you trying to get in my Christmas pajamas?"

For the first time in days Paine burst out laughing. "I wasn't but now I'm kinda curious as to what you have up your…stockings."

Rikku giggled and hugged Paine fully. She squeezed her. "Ruf yna oui naymmo, so muja. Damm sa. E'ja paah funneat ypuid oui."

"I know you have been. I'm sorry I haven't called."

"It's okay, you're here now."

Paine hugged Rikku close and just took in her scent. She realized that she really didn't like being away from her for too long. Rikku must have felt it too because she mumbled that she missed her into Paine's shoulder.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I promise I'll try and make it work." Rikku nodded when they pulled away. "You'll have a good time, okay?"

"I trust you, Bayla."

Rikku just smiled. "Okay, okay, do you want to relax in the den? Kick your feet up? I'll make you something to eat. Yunie is at the meat market in line for some meat tips for toasties, we're going to make dessert ones and meat and bean ones."

"I've been relaxing a lot at Lai's. I just wanna help you if that's okay."

"Yeah, Pypo, of course. Go change first. You'll get hot in that."

Rikku kept on eye on Paine as she and Yuna talked about the fashion agency as if everything was okay. The ham was done so for dinner they all had small ham and mustard sandwiches with salad and then they tried to clean up for Christmas morning and wrap any last minute gifts. Cid arrived later that night around ten right when Yuna was leaving.

It was around eleven thirty when Rikku heard her bedroom door knock softly. She got up out of bed in her once long black pajamas with candy canes on them that she had turned into shorts not too long ago, and a black tank top. "He's such an old man." Rikku complained in a whisper as Paine slipped into the room clad in dark blue cloth shorts and a short sleeve white shirt. "I mean he knows you sneak in here, you know that right?" Rikku closed the door behind Paine and locked it. "I swear it's just a power thing. It has to be."

Twenty minutes had passed and Rikku found herself straddled on Paine's lap with her girlfriends back to the head board of the bed. Paine had her arms wrapped around her waist and their faces were close enough for whispered words to be heard clearly.

Rikku leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Paine's lips. "You're still the same person, Pypo, realizing that you have parents isn't the issue is it?"

Paine shook her head no. "What am I supposed to do with this information? I feel like everyone expects a certain response. Like in the movies there is resistance but then they become one big happy family again. I don't want that."

"What do you want then?"

"I want to have all this just disappear." Paine looked away from Rikku and sighed. "But I know it can't… What happens if I end up liking her?"

"That would be gross."

Paine playfully jostled Rikku on her lap. "You know what I mean."

Rikku smiled and then went to thinking. "What is so wrong with that?"

"She left me. She gave me up Rikku, she didn't care or she would have come back when I was 18 at least. I'm a fuckin—" Rikku gave her a look. There was a rule that there was no cursing on Christmas. "I'm an adult." Paine corrected herself. "Am I to believe that she had some sort of an epiphany and she decided that she needed to see me?"

"Maybe she's dying."

"What?"

"Maybe she just came into money and is finally able to financially support you, maybe she just woke up one day and decided that she wanted to take control of her life, maybe she's been thinking about you every day for the past twenty one years. We don't know Paine, and you'll never know unless you meet her." Paine sighed again and Rikku tilted her head. "What about Paul?"

"I haven't given him much thought."

"He does already seem like the bad guy, huh?"

"Yeah a little. I'm upset with them both."

"What else?"

Paine bit her lip in hesitation, but she and Rikku were in their safe place right now, anything could be said because it was just them two. It was Rikku's idea to help her open up and delve into her feelings because even though she seemed calm on the surface Rikku knew Paine's mind was running constantly. "Gippal asked me to choose between him and you." She found Rikku's eyes and for a slight second a flicker of panic played through them.

"You told me you got into it with him. What happened?" Rikku played it off.

"I said some things…But I mean he came in nervous and then confident that he was forgiven. I didn't like that. I threatened to hit him, he didn't care, he never cares. I just... He's the only constant thing in my life, regardless of how he just pretended that everything was okay. That helped a little bit sometimes. He's always around and I take… took comfort in that.'

"What did you tell him?"

Paine struggled with her words now. "I…I told him it was you. I picked you." Rikku wanted to smile but she didn't. She knew it must have been a difficult thing for Paine to do. "I love you, Rikku, and I don't know a lot, but I do know that in knowing you I've been able to do so much in such a short amount of time. You make me better, happier. I'm just afraid I lost him for good. He's not a bad guy…" Paine frowned. "He's my best guy."

"If he cares for you like he says he does than you haven't. He's just stubborn."

"He is."

"But I think he'll come around."

"I've decided I want to move out."

"From the house?" Rikku asked in surprise. Paine nodded. "Wow, when?"

"When I graduate hopefully, I need to close up this chapter; there is nothing for me there Rikku. Staying in that neighborhood is only going to get me in trouble. I'm nervous though. Moving makes me nervous."

"Moving?"

"I moved all the time, from foster home to the center, to foster home…"

"Oh." Rikku nodded in understanding. "Well this will finally be all of your own space. You could do whatever you wanted. Ooh I can help you decorate!"

Paine smiled softly. "No."

Rikku pouted but smiled anyway after. "I know you need time to think about things, just take your time, babe, there is no rush. She waited twenty one years she can wait a week or so hm?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah I just….I'll go see what Martha says and just…I'll think on it."

"How are you feeling physically?"

Paine shrugged. "Normal… a few headaches." She still had yet to start up her medication again.

"You're peeing okay?" Paine rolled her eyes. "Hey I can ask about these things can't I?" Paine laughed a little and shook her head no. "Well I don't care; I wanna make sure you're in tip top shape."

"My pee is fine."

"Good. Lai's?"

Paine made a face. "His pee?"

Rikku giggled. "No, how's it staying over there?"

They continued talking before a small alarm clock went off and Rikku declared that it was officially Christmas day. "Now gimmie my gift!"

"Well you're kind of sitting on me, I think you should go—" Rikku quickly rolled off of her. "Alright I'll go first then." She leaned over to the side of the bed and pulled up a small velvety blue jewelry box with a yellow bow tied in ribbon. "I um, it's kind of expensive. I know we said that we—"

"I got you something anyway, so don't worry."

"But we said we wouldn't!"

"But you did too! I never listen to you when we talk about gifts. I just get you whatever I want."

"You're a bossy gift giver."

Rikku outstretched her arms for the box in Paine's hands. "C'mon c'mon." She wiggled her fingers to reach for the box.

Paine handed it over. "It's not a ring or nothing." She warned with a nervous laugh.

Rikku smiled at Paine's comment as she took the small box in her hands. "This is from Whales Jewelry..?" Rikku moved aside the yellow ribbon and saw the script "W" on the lid.

"Yeah." Paine nodded.

"They're my favorite over there at the mall."

"I know." She motioned to the small blue box. "Just open it already."

"Okay okay." Rikku pulled the small box open to reveal a small pair of expensive looking pearl earrings."Oh my Yevon." She looked up at Paine in surprise. They were the ones Rikku had had her eyes on for a long time but could never find online and if she could she could never justify buying them because of the price and her father's annoying argument that she already had boring old white ones. These were perfect, just the right size to be casual or formal and most importantly they were a rare off white with a touch of pink.

"I couldn't risk running into you at the mall, so I got these online, I um, I remember you saying that you liked this barely pink whitish color so… Do you like them? Are they too big for your ears?" Paine looked back at the earrings wondering if she should have spent the extra twenty for the next size up. She never bought jewelry for someone else before and Rikku had adorably little ears.

"They're so beautiful Paine." Rikku smiled and looked from her new gift over to her girlfriend. "I love them."

Paine inched closer to her on the bed. "Yeah?"

"I love the color; I just forgot we even had that conversation. These will look so good with everything because see, they're not too pink, just subtle and…" She went on for a little at how much she loved them, she even began taking them out so she could try them on. Paine smiled to herself. She was glad Rikku liked them because those little pearls cost way more than Paine thought they would. Rikku rubbed Paine's leg and leaned closer to her when she was done putting them on.. "You're so thoughtful, thank you, baby."

"You're welcome." Paine murmured as their lips got closer. Rikku closed the distance between them and placed a sweet kiss on Paine's soft lips. "They look good on you." She brushed aside some of Rikku's blonde hair. Rikku leaned in for another short kiss and then wordlessly scooted off her bed and disappeared into her closet. Paine sighed and looked at her legs. This thing was like a sprained knee. She wanted to ignore what was happening but with every step forward she could feel it. It pissed Paine off that she couldn't just have a second alone with Rikku without having her thoughts being clouded or her attention distracted.

Rikku furrowed her eyes at her girlfriend. "Pai." She repeated for the third time.

Paine popped her head up. "Sorry babe.." She patted the bed beside her and Rikku climbed on with a small gift bag. "No wrapping paper?" Paine joked as she put her arm around Rikku as if to force her thoughts to stay focused on the blonde.

"I didn't have time to wrap your gifts." Rikku frowned.

"Gifts?"

"Well I didn't know what to get you so I got you two things." Rikku dipped in the bag and then looked up at Paine. "Close your eyes what do you think this is?" Paine laughed but did as she was told. Rikku pulled out the expensive Al Bhed sand crystal and glass picture frame and reached for Paine's hands to have her hold it. "Okay… open them."

Paine opened her eyes and smiled widely. "Aw, babe." The frame itself was beautiful but what made smile was the pencil and charcoal drawing of her and Rikku. It was an exact replica of their first picture together during the summer at the beach. Paine hadn't seen Rikku sketch in a while and had almost forgotten how amazing she was at it. The detail in shading was exactly perfect. The only difference between this and the real picture was that this one was black and white and in the upper left hand corner above Rikku's head was a small R and P in one of those cliché little hearts.

"Do you like it?" Rikku asked nervously. She had never really given anyone something she worked on like this before.

"This is awesome, Rikks. Love it, you're so talented."

"It took me like a hundred times to get it just right.."

Paine turned to Rikku. "It looks exactly like the picture."

Rikku smiled an impish smile. "It's our first picture together ever. I didn't want the one on our cell phones to get lost or deleted so…" She shrugged. "Now it can be here like this forever."

Paine leaned down the small distance and kissed her girlfriend. "I love it."

"Cool! Well that's not the rest."

Paine looked back to the beautiful frame. It was a little heavy too. "I'm happy with just this to be honest."

"Well this one is kinda for both of us." Rikku dug into the gift bag and pulled out an envelope and handed it to Paine who had to pull her one arm from around Rikku to take the it. "Whenever you're ready, instead of beating the living daylights of a punching bag or…drinking..."

Paine opened it and laughed a little. "Couples Spa Day? Alright I could use one of these."

Rikku nodded excitedly. "Yunie told me about this place a lot of the models at the agencies go and we were going to do a girls day but I was thinking something a little more…y'know." Rikku winked and Paine raised an eyebrow. "Romantic."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uhuh."

##

The two rolled over so that Rikku was on top of Paine this time. She leaned down and began placing very distracting kisses down Paine's exposed chest. Paine exhaled and wrapped her arms around Rikku's naked back.

"_Sit down Dr. P."_

"…_She heard dem saying that he and this woman… she they…they had a kid…."_

Paine shook her head lightly and focused on the chocobo feathers Rikku got along her back when she ran her fingers down her spinal cord.

"_You, they had you…"_

Paine blinked rapidly out of her thoughts when she felt something wet run down the side of her face. It happened to be the back of Rikku's hand as she looked down at her with quiet knowing eyes. "We can stop." Rikku whispered. "Okay? Let's do that." Rikku leaned down and paused when Paine took a shaky breath. "Oh Pypo." Rikku rubbed the quiet tears off Paine's cheeks. "C'mere." Rikku slid in behind her and held Paine as close as possible.

"I'm sorry…"

"No, no saying sorry for feeling baby." Rikku whispered behind Paine. "I've got you now, its okay." Paine fumbled to grab hold of Rikku's hand and the blonde squeezed her girlfriend close.

"It's not okay." Paine mumbled feeling even more pathetic than before. "I wanna… this shouldn't..." She suddenly surprised Rikku by rolling onto her and pressing her lips against her along with the rest of her body. "No." Paine grunted. "This has nothing to do with you and me." She grabbed Rikku's thigh roughly and pulled it around her waist and grinding herself against her causing Rikku to moan. "No." She mumbled again before leaning down and kissing Rikku a second time. "Not this." She swore to herself aloud as she leaned down and began to suck on Rikku's nipples. Rikku moaned again and wrapped her arms around Paine's back.

"Softer…Paine…." Rikku could feel Paine shake violently in her arms. "Softer." She moaned again.

Paine tried to cool down a little but it was impossible. "Let me fuck you." She begged into Rikku's neck.

"Baby we—"

"Rikks." Paine moaned her name as she became consumed.

"Pops i-is..right.." Rikku took a quick breath. "d-down the hall." Paine was sucking and biting now and all it took was another hungry noise from her girlfriend as she kissed down to her center. Rikku opened her eyes wide and arched her back when Paine found what she was looking for. "Oh-oh-okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Okay." Rikku moaned louder now and tried to catch her breath after. "Okay…"

"I need you." Paine breathed. Rikku closed her eyes and exhaled when she felt Paine place small kisses on her hand.

"I'm right here."

**AN: Oh boy lol. I'll give ten points to whoever can guess what musical production Keira Kerrigan is staring in. Review and let me know what you all think of this chapter too. I've re-written a lot of scenes a lot of times so I'm curious to see what you think of certain things. Thanks for the many many wonderful reviews last chapter. **

**KathleenDee **


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty Eight **

Rikku woke with a small noise. As she stretched her sore body out she couldn't help the smile that settled on her lips.

It was Christmas morning.

If she strained her ears enough she could hear the soft landing of the tiny snowflakes outside her window. She could just feel the magic of the day tickle her nose and bring her back to many a Christmas mornings where she'd jump out of bed, wake her brother, and then race to the tree. Rikku sighed contently. Soon though vivid images of how she really spent Christmas morning came into focus and the blonde blushed lightly before she turned her head to see Paine sleeping in her quiet way, no snoring this time. Just quiet.

Rikku did her best thinking in the morning like this. During the semester if Paine slept over and didn't have an early class Rikku woke first to the comfort of knowing her person wasn't very far. She felt safe to be scared, or anxious, or excited in her thoughts with Paine lying beside her.

Rikku knew her silver haired girlfriend hated feeling vulnerable, she knew it made her nervous and scared, backed up against the wall maybe even inadequate, if only she could take some of that away from Paine, at least for a night, and that's what the night had been about… mostly. It was hot too, superdeeduperdee hot.

Paine exhaled quietly in her sleep and then returned to her quiet.

An hour had passed with Rikku just lying awake and thinking. She thought about Paine mostly, about her brother, about the tiff with Gippal, about Yuna and Tidus and little D'Autry, she even thought about the upcoming semester, how it was her last real one before she had to decide on something to do with her life. She had her own anxieties about the future; Paine wasn't the only one looking to move on and out. Being financially independent from her father was a real nice thought, but Rikku knew the actuality would be hard on her. She wasn't going to lie to herself; she pretty much got whatever she wanted within reason. She was luckier than a lot of people. Being with Paine had definitely taught her a thing or two about struggling; it had also taught her a thing or two about this simplistic happiness in not being burdened or stifled by so many things. She read somewhere that monks in Baaj only carried around eight things including clothing. After emptying her purse she realized that she had about twelve things in the front pocket alone.

The bottom line was that she felt heavy.

Weighed down

It was still relatively early when she heard her father shuffle down the hall. A brief flush came to Rikku's face; Paine knew how to please, and the thought alone of her moaning like she was last night with her father right down the hall made Rikku blush even deeper. She put a hand to her face and scooted out of bed and slipped back into her pajamas before disappearing into her bathroom, when she returned from her shower she found Paine in the same place as before except now she sported the smallest nose bleed. Rikku sighed and reached over to "Paine's nightstand" and grabbed a tissue from the box she placed there at the beginning of the cold season, Paine's nose bleeds happened a lot in the winter Rikku was noticing. She folded the tissue and lightly wiped at Paine's nose causing the woman on the bed to stir awake.

Paine sniffled and opened her eyes when she felt something blocking the air way. Rikku wordlessly handed her the tissue and Paine wiped her nose again. She sat up to make sure nothing got on the pillow before looking over at Rikku. "I had a dream." She announced.

Rikku stopped what she was doing and looked at Paine. "Really?" Paine never dreamt, or if she did she didn't talk about what she dreamt about. It was usually Rikku who had the crazy dreams that she couldn't keep to herself.

Paine nodded.

"About?" Rikku asked getting onto the bed.

Paine pulled the blanket closer to herself. "When I was little…" She shrugged and then looked at the floral designs on Rikku's bedspread. "I was living with this family for Christmas one year…. They got me a sphere camera; you know the real old ones?" Paine made a box with her hands. "They gave you the picture right away?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah."

"A red one I think…" Paine nodded. "I took a picture of myself once, put it in a coloring book and colored longer hair or shorter hair on me, it looked horrible I think I was seven…but I imagined that my parents looked exactly like me just y'know, older."

Rikku smiled a little. Paine never opened up about her childhood ever. It was just something she never talked about, and Rikku could imagine why, but it was nice to hear little tid-bits every now and then. "You had long hair at seven?" She was trying to picture Paine as a little girl.

Paine nodded. "A single braid or like a pony tail." She ran her hand through her hair. "Gippal cut it off for me a year later."

"Why don't you give him a call today?" Rikku nudged softly.

Paine shook her head no. "He's going to visit his mom today."

"Oh…"

Paine wiped at her nose again. "I guess it was more of a memory than a dream."

"Memories are nice, but that's all they are."

Paine nodded at how true the old Al Bhed maxim was. "I have to make a list."

"Of what?"

"All the things I want to say...to her." Pane nodded to herself again. "Martha would tell me something like that."

Rikku turned to find a piece of paper and then a pen. "You come down when you're ready." She handed over the pen and paper and kissed Paine on the cheek. She was so proud of her. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Ri." Paine answered as she watched Rikku get off the bed and gather a few things before heading downstairs. Paine sighed and began writing.

##

"Kid! Merry Christmas!" Paine tensed as Cid hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. Braska wasn't far behind.

"Ah, excuse me Cid, my client needs to have her own personal space."

Rikku couldn't stop laughing and squeezed her way between the two men to pull Paine away. "They're drunk." She explained as she motioned to the kitchen.

"Your father just kissed me…"

Rikku giggled. "I know, before I got to, what's up with that?" The house was loud. Between the Al Bhed Christmas music playing over the speakers and the laughter of Cid and Braska the once still home seemed alive. "Kisses." Rikku pointed to her lips and Paine leaned down and kissed her for the morning. "Morning."

"Morning Rikks." Paine let up a small smile. "You look nice."

Rikku smiled. She was wearing a casual brown dress with long sleeves that were rolled up and a few silver bangles on her right hand and her usual small silver ring. Her hair was up and out of the way which also showed off the small pearl earrings she was wearing. "Thank you." Paine smiled even more at the blondes blush. "You look… like you always do."

Paine chuckled and looked down at her shorts and shirt combo. "I just came down to get something to eat."

Rikku nodded. "You're not done up there?"

Paine ran a hand through her hair. "Well I thought I was… and then it just got hard, so I took a break… I'm pretty much done I guess. There isn't anything else I can write y'know?"

Rikku nodded. "Well have some food, Yunie and Tidus will be here in like two hours. Will you be ready by then…..Ready as in dressed?"

"Yeah." Paine already knew the routine from Harvest. The morning was spent relaxing, and then everyone dressed up a little for dinner. "I'm assuming you want me to wear that dress." Paine made a face.

Rikku brightened up. "You saw my sticky notes?"

"Uhuh, all seven of them."

"Well I wasn't sure where you would go first so… Yes wear it, it's pretty."

"No." Paine said easily.

"Just no? Just like that?"

"I don't want to."

Rikku sighed. "Can we compromise here?"

Paine opened the fridge. "I'll wear a skirt."

"Deal, Will you iron it?"

Paine sighed dramatically. "Fine."

Rikku clapped her hands together and motioned to the kitchen counter where various containers of different sizes with aluminum foil lids sat. It was hard to believe that she and Yuna had cooked so much on their own. "Eat something and then I'll meet you upstairs."

Paine nodded and then pulled out a plastic jug in the fridge. "What's this?" She shook it lightly. "Eggnog?"

"Ew, Pypo no. We don't do eggnog in this house. It's Punchacreme, it's like eggnog on drugs…or just rum. Al Bhed rum, lime zest, vanilla, nutmeg… it's way better than eggnog."

"You had me at rum." Paine put it back in the fridge. "I don't think I'll be drinking for a little while."

Rikku walked over to her and looked into the fridge with Paine as she rubbed her back. "Well good."

"Are you?"

"I may have a few cups. It's tradition."

Paine nodded and then motioned to the den where she could hear Braska and Cid going on about something. "Them?"

"They've been up polishing off a jug, there were two in here this morning."

"Jeez."

"They pass out before lunch and wake up as sober as a baby chocobo and get dressed so let them have fun, their old anyway." Paine nodded. "Are you okay?" Rikku ventured. Paine did a shrug and closed the fridge. "Hm?" Rikku pushed and still all she got was a little grunt. "Pai—"

"No!"

Rikku raised both her eyebrows in surprise.

Paine sighed and tried to calm down. "Sorry babe… no, I'm just…no okay?"

Rikku nodded. "Alright."

"I'm just gonna go change now." Paine said leaving the kitchen without anything to eat. Rikku sighed to herself. She never ever could tell with Paine these days. You would think she could by now, you would think she could just know, but she didn't, and that in itself was frustrating for the both of them.

##

Rikku stared at her reflection before reaching for her foundation. "If you don't want to be here…"

"I'm here."

"But no you're not."

"What does it look like? I'm standing right here." Paine adjusted her blouse. "In a fucking skirt and heels for you."

"Alright well I'm saying if that's not what you want—"

"It isn't, but it's what you want right?"

"You're being so manipulative right now, Pai. All I'm saying is that you don't have to be here, you knew I would be okay with it, you knew I would understand." She tilted her head and applied just a touch more before capping the lid and reaching for a little blush.

Paine smoothed out her black skirt with her hands. "And then what? Be the kind of girlfriend who doesn't come to Christmas because she's not talking to her long lost half sister. I'm not that person and no, you are just saying you'd be okay with it, when in reality you'd bug me all year until next Christmas."

"You talk about me as if I bug you all the time, you know how many things I let go because I know you're in a rough place right now?"

"Enlighten me."

Rikku fluffed her hair and then looked at Paine in the mirror beside her. "Toothpaste in the sink… Again."

Paine rolled her eyes. "That's it?"

"You haven't been in any of the conversations we've had that don't pertain to your situation."

"I'm standing right fucking here!" Paine reached for her gel.

"Yeah but Paine you're not really! And there is nothing wrong with that."

"So what the fuck?"

Rikku growled in frustration. "You don't have to be here if you don't want to be here is what I'm saying, Kuut kneav, yna oui ajah mecdahehk du sa?"

Paine put down her comb. "And I'm saying that I'm here, I may look like I could care less who got what and how well cooked the roast is and I'm sorry, this is just how my face is going to look, but it doesn't at all mean that I don't want to be here with you okay? Fuck, just leave it alone already."

"You're face looks like you want to hit someone…"

"I do."

"So I can't exactly just ignore that." Rikku went back to applying her blush.

Paine sighed heavily and motioned to her outfit. "Do I look okay?"

"And you still haven't told me where this grave is." Rikku turned and fixed Paine's collar and unbuttoned her first button on her white blouse before going back to looking at herself in the mirror.

"Fuck the grave."

"And you blatantly ignored my request for a cussless Christmas."

Paine laughed a little. "Cussless?"

"It's a word."

"It isn't."

"Well of course you wouldn't know it, potty mouth."

Paine folded her arms. "I specifically remembered you cursing last night… past twelve." Rikku rolled her eyes. "Vilg pypo taaban." Paine mimicked Rikku's moan in almost perfect Al Bhed.

Rikku turned around and narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend. "Of course you would know how to say that in Al Bhed."

"If I didn't before I learned last night." Paine grinned now and wrapped her arms around Rikku's waist.

Rikku pushed at her arms. "Stop you're being a meanie to me right now; I don't want any hugs or kisses from you, Paine Kerrigan."

Paine held her closer as Rikku squirmed. "None?" She leaned in and placed a few kisses onto Rikku's face as the blonde moved around to deflect them.

"No, cause you're being mean."

"I'm not being mean, baby." Paine slackened her arms around Rikku. "I don't know what you want from me right now."

"That's just it, I don't want anything. You have to figure out you, and I'm sorry if you felt pushed to come here."

"You bought me a stocking." Paine mumbled.

"And I realize now that maybe it wasn't the best idea."

"What would I be doing right now?"

"Probably being depressed somewhere."

"Exactly. Even though you make me do crap that I don't want to do I think you know that it's good for me."

"Paine." Rikku sighed and pushed at her arms.

Paine let go of her. "The only reason I'm here is for you, so tell me honestly if you want me to leave and I will."

"I don't want to be like Lulu or anyone else and just push you into things. Be honest with _me_, are you ready to confront her, because that's what is going to happen if you stay. She called me and everything to say that she was in fact coming to dinner so you decide. This isn't on me."

Paine sighed heavily. "What about everyon—"

"Forget them; you have to do what's best for you." She went back to opening her mascara.

"I'm already dressed."

"Your clothes are right over there." Rikku motioned to her bed.

Paine sighed again and watched as Rikku went back to getting ready in the mirror. "It's the same color…"

Rikku stopped and looked back at her. "What is?"

"The toothpaste and the sink… They're the same color; white."

Rikku shook her head yet smiled when Paine wrapped her arms around her in a sideways hug and kissed her cheek before leaving to get changed again. "I love you too. Pypo." She answered Paine's whisper with her own.

##

Gippal burst into the apartment late that night. "Fucking idiots don't know how to cook shrimp, every one of them is fired, fucking fired." He mumbled to himself as he shrugged out of his winter coat and flipped his boots off his feet. He paused when he noticed Paine sitting in the living room watching TV with her feet up and a bowl of spiced roasted almonds on her lap, and a tall glass of eggnog. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He grumbled as he walked by the living room and into the kitchen.

"Last time I checked I was still paying rent."

"Barely." Gippal went into the fridge and pushed aside the old takeout food containers and Tupperware in search of the eggnog Paine was drinking.

Paine shrugged to herself. "Whatever."

"Where's Princess?"

"Don't call her that."

"Fuck you, I can say whatever I want when I want." Gippal walked over to the living room and grabbed the carton of the rich holiday beverage before boring himself the rest.

"Yeah sure help yourself."

"Whatever."

"You act like you don't care about me." Paine said out of nowhere while Gippal was on his way to his room. "You act like it's my privilege to be your friend."

"Well you made it very clear last time we talked that you didn't need jealous me as a friend, Paine." He said without turning around to face her.

"I was upset, and I'm…. Sorry." Paine shook her head at herself. Christ almighty was that hard to say, especially when she meant everything she said to Gippal.

"Save your apologies."

"For who?"

"Someone who deserves them." Gippal left it at that and Paine was surprisingly happy with it. She knew Gippal, they had been friends since the age of seven. She knew that if he were in an angry rage she'd probably get an earful, but he wasn't, he didn't even come out of his room for the rest of the night. They were by no means okay or even friends still, but he was just feeling bad, and so was Paine. She knew that she had to say something first. Gippal was as stubborn as a wall, and usually Paine was too, but right now Paine couldn't be. She was just in a place where everything was open to change, even her relationship with her best friend, and if it didn't well then Rikku was right about one thing in particular. She was changing and he was not. At some point she had to realize what was helping her and what was holding her back, she just hoped that Gippal wasn't holding her back from anything because before everyone, it was the two of them fighting the crazy world that they had been put into by people who didn't want them.

Paine downed the rest of her eggnog and threw out the rest of the almonds after watching the third re-run of that annoyingly cute Christmas story on TV. She stretched herself out and decided that it was way too cold to fall asleep in the living room. They had all agreed to cut off the heater this winter since no one was ever around and it was like a leach when it was on.

Paine picked up her cell phone and went to the empty upstairs. She entered her room and turned on the space heater before going about stripping down to her underwear and getting into a bed that felt cool and damp like pastry dough. Paine sighed as she waited for the room to heat up. Beside her on her nightstand sat the picture frame of her and Rikku she got for Christmas. Paine wondered how in the world she had stumbled upon the blonde. She wondered where they were going, what was in store for them, how the Christmas dinner had went, why she agreed to wake up so early and go to yoga with the cousins and Tidus. She wondered about her mother… what she was doing, who she spent her Christmas with, was she alone or was she married? Did Paine have more half siblings running around? Paine took a steady breath and tired to clear her mind. Sleep soon came after

Paine was lying in bed the next morning bundled up in her warm blankets in thought. She didn't feel like getting up because unlike Rikku's well insulated house her own had creaking cold floors and even colder bathrooms. No Paine was fine just lying in bed for a little while. She shot Rikku a text that she wasn't going to yoga and turned to curl herself up. Paine sighed when her phone began to ring. "Ri, I just don't feel like going." She picked up the phone saying.

"It's gonna be fun." Rikku sing songed in a sleepy voice of her own.

"I don't feel like having fun."

"You're such a wet blanket."

"Oh yea? Well you're such a dry one. I'm hanging up okay?"

"Wait wait wait, Can I take you to see Martha today? I'll drop you off and everything and then I have to do some shopping so by the time I'm done I could come and get you and I can fill you in on how dinner went down since you're not coming to yoga."

"….Fine."

"When is your appointment?"

"12-1, though I'm pretty sure I'll run over."

"I'll come by around 11."

Paine groaned. "So I have to clean my room?" She really didn't have much to clean, maybe just sorting her laundry, but it was just the thought of having to get out of bed that bothered Paine. It was just too cold.

Rikku chuckled. "Uh yes. Sorry."

"Bye."

"Bye, Pai." Rikku hung up and shook her head. "Dry blanket, really Paine?"

##

"Hey Rikku!"

It was times like this where Rikku really wished she had more girlfriends. She would whisper that this guy was nuts about her and was trying to break her and Paine up, and then they'd all make some excuse about all having to go to the bathroom so they could really leave through the back entrance.

Brandon Lawrence was wearing regular dark blue polo with khakis and a NLU blitzball cap on his head. He smiled brightly and walked over, his one hand holding a bag from Sport Ruler.

"Hey Buddy." Rikku was just one person though, in the mall alone.

"I see you're taking advantage of the sale." He grinned and motioned to her Fiona's Secret bag. They were having yet again another semiannual sale.

Rikku looked down to her bag she forgot she was holding and blushed a little. "Yeah."

"I take it Paine will appreciate whatever's in that bag."

Rikku shook her head. "Cloth panties? No, I don't think so."

"They sell granny panties at this place?" He asked genuinely surprised.

Rikku laughed. "They're not granny panties if you must know, they're just cloth material, it's a new line, no seems and…why am I even explaining this to you?"

Buddy shrugged and began following Rikku as she walked over to another store entrance called Mic. "This place smells like girl." He wrinkled his nose.

"It's a perfume store for women; I don't know what else you expect to smell." Rikku began browsing to see if they had her usual perfume here, she was running low. "So is this supposed to be endearing or creepy?"

"What?"

"You following me."

"I thought we were catching up." He shrugged innocently.

"Were we?"

"Yeah, so how was your Christmas?"

Rikku shrugged. "It was nice enough."

"Paine meet the family?"

"Paine practically lives at my house."

"Oh…" He didn't know it was that serious. "Well she must have enjoyed all the food. I know I ate way more than I should have."

##

"So then you had sex…"

Paine nodded. "And I don't know how I feel; Rikku hasn't said anything about it."

"Maybe it wasn't as big a deal for her as it was for you?"

"Shouldn't it be though? I mean I wasn't exactly the most gentle and…She almost…shouldn't she…"

"You think she should have insecurities about rough sex because she almost got raped."

Paine was quiet for a second. "Yeah"

"Maybe she does, but then maybe she doesn't Paine. The results of something traumatic like that, especially in Rikku's case isn't always as black and white as we all would hope. It makes sense that she trusts you so much."

"She was the one who prompted our first time, and that was great I mean we both just went with it, and all the times after that except maybe…I feel like maybe I pushed her. I mean I asked her to let me fuck her."

"Did she say no?"

"No…"

"Do you think that maybe you have some insecurities about sex?"

"Why would I?" Martha shrugged. "I love my girlfriend and…and we both liked it…a lot."

"So what's the problem?"

"I think maybe I'm becoming paranoid with everything happening. I think the things that aren't a big deal are now. Like the other day Rikku asked if I wanted hot cider or warmed up hot chocolate…"

"Warmed up hot chocolate?"

"She doesn't like hot cocoa."

"Uhuh, continue."

"And I just thought for some reason that she wanted me to pick the hot cider so she could have more cocoa. I mean it's not like she doesn't have money to buy more, but I honestly felt like if I had the chocolate milk then she wouldn't have enough and would be mad…."

"Like how now you are talking about you and your girlfriend of five months having erotic sex as young sexually active adults, as opposed to talking about how you recently discovered you have not only two parents, but a half sister that you knew…like that?"

"Yeah…"

##

Rikku laughed. "No I don't think that would be fun. I'd freak out."

Buddy grinned. "Ah c'mon you'd be great at it."

"I just have good genes that's why I look this good. I tried to take one of Paine's classes at the gym and thought I was going to die by the end of it." Rikku checked her time to make sure she wouldn't be late to get Paine.

"I bet her classes aren't that hard." Buddy shrugged her off.

"She'd kill you."

"Well yeah because I flirt with you all of the time." He smirked.

"Which you really need to stop." Rikku reminded. The two were standing in line at Jambi Juice in the mall.

"Why? "

"Because I don't like you, because I'm in love with my girlfriend."

"Whoa whoa, love? I thought you were just like experimenting."

Rikku shook her head. "You never listen when I talk, you're such a guy."

Buddy chuckled. "How do you know?"

"What?"

"You're in love?"

"How do I know?" They moved up in line.

"Well you have to know, I mean you say it with such conviction. How do you even know she's in love with you?"

"Because she says it, and she shows me all of the time-you're an ass you know that?"

Buddy chuckled. "But you still like me."

"Hi welcome to Jambi Juice what can I get for you two today?"

##

Martha glanced at the clock on the wall above Paine's head.

"It's like I spent half my life trying to find her face in mine, and then the other half getting over it, and now…now it's just here." Paine sighed and looked up. "Now it's just here."

"Precisely."

She leveled her gaze back at Martha. "What do I do? I just need someone to tell me what to do. Gippal's not talking to me, Rikku wants me to make every single decision on my own, and really if I think about it, that's it. That's all I have."

"Why don't you like Lulu?" Martha leaned forward and asked. "Why does the mention of her name make you make that face?"

"I just don't like her."

"Well there must be a reason, Paine. I think I know why, but I want you to try and figure it out on your own."

"Great, another thing to do." Paine sighed. "Sometimes…" Her voice broke a little. "Sometimes it's just too much okay? Sometimes I don't want to do well and sometimes I just want to just crush a little and not worry."

"Sometimes is better than all the time, do you remember when you used to say you always felt like it was too much, or you always wanted to use? Do you remember that?" Paine nodded lightly. "I think you have come such a far way from the little fourteen year old I used to know…" Martha paused. "Wait here for a moment. She stood and left Paine in the office and returned a second later with a folder. "I want to hear you something."

"What?" Paine sat up a little on the comfortable couch she had come to know as her lifeboat.

"When you first came to see me, those many years ago, I want to read you what I wrote."

"You were actually taking notes? Wasn't it obvious? I was an angry kid."

"Sometimes the obvious answers and initial emotions aren't always correct, Paine; sometimes it takes a little searching below the surface of things. I'll read this and then that's all the time we have for this week, but your homework is to search, whatever you think that means do it. More often than not you'll stumble upon something you weren't even looking for." Martha waited till Paine nodded and then reached for the reading glasses that hung around her neck. "Let's see here… Paine Amelia Kerrigan, fourteen years of age, female, refuses to make eye contact…."

##

Rikku stood quickly when Martha St. Bernard's door opened and Paine walked out. Their eyes met and Paine wordlessly put her arm around Rikku's shoulder as they left like she always did whenever Rikku waited for her. They braced the cold breeze and hurried to Rikku's car. Once the seat warmers were on and Rikku got situated in the driver's seat they were off to fine somewhere to eat for lunch. "…I don't feel like them, too greasy… How did it go in there?"

Paine paused. "I think I'm going to organize my closet today…"

"Oh thank Yevon, this woman is a miracle worker!"

Paine laughed. Rikku's closet was way messier than hers on any given day, but she decided not to point that out. "Like go through things…search, maybe I'll do my whole room."

"Move things around you think?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, just something different…"

"I can draw something up." Rikku said excitedly. "If you want…"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, yeah that would be okay. I think I want to move my bed away from the wall, it's really cold and I roll into it if you're not there to push."

Rikku smiled. "I can sleep over too."

"If you want to babe."

"You don't want me to?"

"I don't mind, I like sleeping with you…I mean like in a bed….asleep sleeping not….never mind."

Rikku chuckled. "I like both."

"Do you?"

"Um, yeah? Isn't it obvious?"

"So the other night, you were cool with it?"

"I would have said no if I wasn't, and I liked it Paine, you were hot and all frustrated and full of this…passion it was just…" Rikku shrugged. "Sexy."

Paine nodded to herself. Martha had been right yet again, though she wondered where Rikku's real gray area was, she was glad it wasn't sex. Paine liked sex with Rikku… a lot. She liked how she felt when they were doing it, how they just seemed so in sync, she loved how close it made them, how sexy Rikku sounded when she was close…

"Is that what you talked about today? Us?" Rikku asked curiously.

"A little." The blonde nodded slowly not really knowing what to make of that. "Nothing bad." Paine reassured.

"Oh, oh alright."

"How about we just go to Eveready?" Paine suggested. "I think I'm just going to order soup."

"Soup sounds like a good idea to me." Rikku nodded and turned down a short cut. She found a parking space close by and Paine hopped out and reached into her pocket for quarters while Rikku got everything in her purse together. "You should have brought your gloves." Rikku observed when she took Paine's hand in hers as they walked up to the entrance. "Your hands are freezing, and dry, its okay I have lotion."

"Where in Spira would I be without you baby?" Paine joked as they walked up to the hostess's stand "Two please."

"Right this way." The petite hostess led them to a cozy booth in the back near the windows. It was their favorite spot. Just out of the way of the bustling diner. Even now on the day after Christmas the even sized diner seemed to be full. The hostess put down the menus and Paine chuckled but scooted over when Rikku came to sit on the same side of the booth as her.

"You're warm." She explained. Their waiter Saber arrived and took their orders after exchanging pleasantries. He had come to know the couple with all their time here during the last semester.

"How was the mall?" Paine asked as she debated on adding cream to her coffee. That was searching too right? Searching for new ways to drink coffee. Paine nodded to herself and added just a touch before neglecting the sugar like always and taking a sip.

Rikku sighed. She was really hoping Paine didn't ask. "The mall was alright, I went to Fiona's, got a few things." Paine raised an eyebrow and Rikku laughed. "Nothing crazy, relax."

"You're birthday is coming up. You think you'd want like a gift card or something from there?"

Rikku laughed. "That's a real back handed gift Paine." Paine tried to hide her grin, but she had been caught. "You want to give me a gift card so I can spend it on something hot for you?"

Paine shrugged and reached for her coffee again. "They have make-up and lotion, and casual shit there too, why does everything I say have to be twisted to sound dirty?"

"Because everything you say is dirty."

"Untrue." Paine smiled into her cup when Rikku elbowed her playfully. "But really, you did me in good….Anniversary, Christmas, Anniversary, Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's day…. I'm running out of ideas."

"I never thought of it like that." Rikku laughed. "Hm well Valentines and our seven?" Paine nodded. "Seven month can be combined and I want to have a party for my birthday, your gift to me will be coming, and then our sixth we'll just wing it. I really don't expect something extravagant Paine. I'm actually trying to cut down on a lot of things."

"Why?"

"Well I told you I wanted to get serious about becoming independent from Pops," Paine nodded again; she remembered the break down Rikku had in Home Goods. "So like I'm just trying to make things stretch, like if he gives me money I'll bank it."

"I can help you make a budget if you want. I've gotten real good at those."

Rikku smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"So do you want a gift card or not?"

Rikku laughed. "Sure, Pypo."

"Pick something nice for yourself." She joked causing Rikku to laugh a little more. "What else did you get?"

"Um…I went and bought a refill of my perfume….I ran into Buddy..."

"Buddy?"

"Yeah, he kinda followed me around. I didn't exactly tell him to leave me alone though."

"You don't want to be rude."

"Paine."

Paine sighed. "I know I know…. So what did he have to say?"

"Noting important."

"Right."

"You missed it last night though."

"Oh yeah tell me how dinner went." They sat and ate their soups. Paine tomato, Rikku chicken noodle, and talked about the night before and how everyone had a good time but kept asking where Paine was. Rikku was fine with it, she really was. When Paine left she knew she had made the right decision in talking to her and letting her try and pace herself. Lulu wasn't mad at all, Wakka was a little sad though. He even came up to Rikku and asked how she was handling everything. "I think you should call him, or shoot him a text." Rikku nodded as she reached for the extra plate of lemons she ordered on the side and squeezed one into her soup.

"Yeah, I think I will.. Yeah."

##

"What about this?" Rikku held up another shoe box. She had never really looked into Paine's closet before, there wasn't much to see to be honest. A couple of jeans, V necks in different colors but nothing too loud, her leather jacket, a sweater or two. It was nothing like her extensive walk in and she didn't know why she hadn't noticed it before. It made her a little sad. Paine wasn't well off, and you'd never know it unless you saw where she lived. "Baby let's just throw it out." She probed when she saw the torn look on Paine's face.

"That's my stuff from the center." She stood from her sitting position on the ground near her desk. "Um…"

"Here." Rikku handed it over. She could see that she was holding something that made Paine a little uncomfortable. "I'll organize these." She walked over to wear Paine was sitting before and began going through some tops that had fallen off their hangers and been forgotten.

Paine walked over with the box and sat on her bed. She took a second before opening it and rifling through it. Rikku jumped when Paine flipped the box off her lap; sending its contents to spill all over the floor. "Garbage." She announced before going back to cleaning off her desk.

Rikku glanced at Paine and then the mess she had just made. She crawled over to the pile and began looking through it. There were little toys stemming from infancy to older stages. A small story book, another sling shot with a P etched in the wood near the base. Rikku furrowed her brows at a thick spineless book rolled up with a rubber band. She unhooked it and was surprised to see a book of sheet music, the pages colored and torn with age, but it was there. Rikku was flipping through it when two things slipped out.

Pictures.

"Ur so kucr oui fana cu lida!." She smiled at the picture of a very young Paine in jeaned overalls sitting at a piano stool with her left hand resting gently on the keys and her right on her lap; her feet couldn't even hit the floor. She was five. "Look at you." She cooed. Rikku put a hand to her chest. "Look at your little smile. I could sprinkle jelly beans on you and eat you up! My girlfriend, aw, babykins."

Paine turned around. "Stop it."

"I'm sorry but look how cute you were! There's a band aid on your knee and everything!"

Paine sighed and turned back around. "That was a long time ago."

Rikku looked up at Paine's back and then back to the little girl. They could never be the same person. Rikku knew this already. It was hard to see her so happy then, knowing what they both did now. "You look adorable, baby." Rikku looked back up at Paine. "C'mere." Paine hesitated but turned around and came to sit on the ground beside Rikku. "Let's go through this stuff hm?" She rubbed Paine's knee. "I don't think there are many pictures like this one am I right? We should look through to make sure."

Paine nodded and sighed again. She picked up the other picture that fell to the floor and smiled a little. "Gip and I." She showed it to Rikku. They had to be around seven or eight. Paine no longer had long hair and Gippal's head was shaved down low and he was wearing glasses.

"Oh my gosh look at the two of you." Rikku laughed little at how they were trying to seem cool yet their shoe laces were untied. "Let me see this." She took the picture from Paine and smiled a little more. "Thick as thieves."

"We got into so much trouble." Paine shook her head with a small laugh. They were outside playing baseball. Little Paine was leaning forward on a bat and smirking and Little Gippal had a mitt on in one hand and was crossing his arms much in the same fashion he did now. They were both wearing white and yellow baseball styled shirts mattered with dirt from the heated game against the Brown County orphanage kids.

"You guys look like such trouble makers." Rikku handed the picture back to Paine and looked down to the one of her baby faced girlfriend. "Aw…" She sighed.

Paine rolled her eyes. "Don't start crying." She joked.

Rikku looked back at Paine all watery eyed. "You were just a little baby in this. Look."

Paine couldn't even believe Rikku was about to tear up. "C'mon get a grip." She put her arm around her girlfriend's shoulder. "Yeah, and babies grow up." She tried to reassure. "Who knew back then I'd be as sexy as I am now?" Rikku laughed which made Paine smile. She pressed a small kiss on Rikku's cheek. "It's okay."

"Why did you flip the box?" Rikku asked after a moment to compose herself. "These are all things that are still apart of you."

Paine pulled her arms back to herself and scanned the floor for something. She leaned forward and picked up a babies bonnet and handed it to Rikku before getting up and going back to what she was doing before. Rikku fingered the frayed material on the inside and found a stitching of Paine's initials. She looked back at her girlfriend hanging up shirts and then back down to the bonnet.

"Can I have these?" Rikku asked raising up the pictures and the bonnet. Paine didn't even turn around.

"Sure, whatever."

##

"What the fuck? I said turmeric not fucking curry powder!" Gippal shook his head at the sheer incompetence of the people who worked for him. "Make a new batch!"

"Yes chef, right away chef!"

Gippal stirred the sauce in front of him and took a taste. They had 150 on the books tonight and he couldn't afford any more screw ups. "How's the duck looking?" He called out to the short pastry chef who was standing near the oven waiting on her tart shells.

"Five more minutes."

"Perfect." He mumbled to himself as he turned around and began to chop up some oranges for the accompanying sauce.

"For you Chef." Clasko slipped a small package in the window.

"Thanks man." Gippal stared at the light weight thing and reached for something to open it with when he remembered that his knives were for food not boxes. "Am I supposed to open this with my dick?" Clasko handed him a box cutter. "Let's see what the hell this is… maybe those sample napkins I ordered…" Gippal fought to open the package. He furrowed his brows when he opened it and realized it was a picture frame with a sticky note on it. The note had one word on it

_Truce?_

Signed

_Cid's girl_

Gippal took the sticky off and felt a chuckle in his throat. "Fuckin' gremlins." He mumbled when he saw the picture of him and Paine as kids out on the ratty old baseball field in the back of the detention center where they grew up. He sighed to himself and looked back at the sticky note.

A loud buzzing sound broke his train of thought. "Chef! The duck!"

Gippal nodded to himself before putting the picture frame safely in his lowboy beside the tomatoes and spinach. "Well turn the fucking timer off, you're standing right there!"

##

"Are you nervous?"

"Stop asking me that."

"You look nervous is all."

"Well I am, happy?"

"No."

"So what the hell?"

"Alright, just stay still."

"I'm still."

"You're tense."

"Just hurry up please I'm freezing."

Rikku smirked. "I can see that." Paine covered her chest quickly. "Ah c'mon!"

"Nope."

"No more boobies?"

"No more boobies."

"But they were the focal point."

"Find a new one."

"I'm an artist, I go with what moves me, and that's your tits so drop those arms." Rikku chuckled.

"You're a perv."

"Wait a minute I smell a double standard. You perv on me all the time."

"I'm your girlfriend."

"So am I!"

"I'm seeing a lot of talking and not enough painting."

"Well if you could move your arms I can get back to work, you don't want a misshaped boob do you?"

"What? You mean like yours?"

"Paine Amelia Kerrigan!"

Paine laughed and lowered her hands. "Hurry up, my nipples hurt."

"Really?" Paine nodded. "Let me feel."

"Rikku!"

"Alright alright!" Rikku giggled to herself as she dabbed the tip of her brush into the black paint she was using to outline Paine's body. She could not believe she had finally gotten Paine to agree with this. It's kind of been a little fantasy of hers since she first sketched Paine back when they first met. That and doing some full on body painting…with their bodies…naked. She glanced up from her easel to Paine on the couch. "Open out your hand a little…yeah okay."

"How much longer?" Paine sighed.

"I really appreciate you being my muse, Pypo."

"Yeah, no problem, I just don't want your dad to decide that today's the day he actually comes up here."

"Well I told him we were painting."

"What!"

"Stay still!"

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that you were helping me paint, and then I said to knock before you—"

"Oh my gosh."

"It's for the good of the art Pypo I promise."

"Tell that to your father…. You know he put condoms in my Christmas stocking?"

Rikku sighed. "He's so bothersome, you would think he and Leblanc getting back together would consume his time."

"Well he's hardly here."

"He's always hardly here."

"…I'm cold."

"Well you're naked."

"Why don't you get naked too, just so it's fair y'know?"

Rikku chuckled. "After I'm done with this."

Paine sighed and fell quiet for a little while. "It's been a full week."

"And still nothing?"

"….I don't know." Paine winced in thought. "I wonder what she does here… In the city."

Rikku shrugged and tried to hide her smile. "You know why I want to meet her or at least see her?"

"Why?"

"So I know if you'll age well. If not then I gotta let you go baby."

"Yeah well I saw pictures of your mom; I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Rikku chuckled. "New Years—"

Paine groaned. "Can I just focus on one thing at a time?"

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Pai."

"Do you think that…. I mean…"

"Paine I don't know, I don't know her, but Lulu does."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Well look now she has two moms."

"Her mother still isn't speaking to her."

"Well she can have mine."

"Why don't you like Lulu? Honestly."

"Because she's a bitch."

"Not good enough, some people might say you're a bitch."

"I am."

"So you two are more alike than you think…"

"No."

"Just tell me."

"I don't like her because she's a know it all."

"Um, have you sat down and watched a game show with yourself? You blurt out all the answers and you get all pissed off when you get them wrong. You tried tutoring me in math too, remember that?"

_Flashback_

"_I don't understand what is so fucking hard to understand!" Paine was about ready to gouge her eyes out. _

"_I understand it you jerk, I'm just asking why!"_

"_Why what!"_

"_Why do we have to create a truth values table if this statement is clearly invalid!"_

"_You don't know that!"_

"_I do! Today is Tuesday not Wednesday!" _

"_Wednesday is P, and P implies—"_

"_Why can't Wednesday be R? You're so self-centered."_

_Paine just stared at her girlfriend. "You're an idiot."_

"_Well you're a shitty teacher! You can't tell me why you do things and you don't show me anything, you just give me the answer, that's not how you learn!"_

"_Maybe if you took better notes, I'm sorry I don't remember everything I took this class in like the third grade!"_

"_Oh shut up!"_

_Paine grabbed her leather jacket and stood. "Just use the back of the book from now on."_

"_Maybe I will!"_

"_Fine!"_

"_Fine!"_

_End flashback._

"Point." Paine nodded. That had been a disaster.

"You know why I think you don't like her?"

Paine sighed. She had been searching all week and though she had come to terms with a lot. She still didn't want to acknowledge the real reason behind her dislike for her half sister. "Why?"

"Because if things were different by a hair, you'd be Lulu, and you wouldn't have to go through any of the tough stuff that you—" Rikku's cell phone began going ringing at her side. "Oh, speak of the Lulu…" She put down her brush and picked up the phone. "Lulu….Wakka? Huh, I can't understand—NOW!"Rikku motioned for Paine to get up. "Alright, no no Im coming, we're coming…Yes call Yunie….bye!"

Paine was rushing to put on her clothes. "Is she having the baby?"

"Yes, I'm gonna be an auntie, oh my gosh, I told you we should have just bought that teddy bear just in case!" Rikku ran off leaving Paine to trip over her pants as she followed after her.

She was going to be an Auntie too.

Paine skidded to a stop.

She was this kid's Aunt…like his real Aunt. Paine. He didn't do anything, little Franco or Blitzer or whatever name they gave him. He didn't do anything wrong. He was innocent….

Innocent and early

"Paine hurry up!" Rikku yelled.

Somehow during the seven minute drive to the hospital things had changed. Paine couldn't say if it were because she feared for her own life with the way Rikku was driving, or because she feared for the new life that was coming into a family of dysfunction, but things had certainly changed, and for some reason she was just as nervous as Rikku was.

"Wait wait wait." Paine stopped Rikku from getting out of the car by placing her hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"What Paine what!" Rikku slowed down a little when she noticed the look on her girlfriend's face. She couldn't give it a name but she knew exactly what was going on. "It's gonna be fine."

"She's doesn't have anyone either…"

"She has us, and Yunie, and Teedus, and Walker—"

"I'm _his_ family."

Rikku couldn't help but begin to smile. "You're freaking out."

"I've been so focused on how parents are supposed to act and what I wish mine were like and… How in the fuck is an aunt supposed to act, Rikks?"

Rikku chuckled and caressed Paine's cheek before leaning in for a little kiss. "I'll catch you up."

**AN: I absolutely love all the reviews and feedback and just all the amazingness that's happening. Writing this story wouldn't be as fulfilling if it weren't for you all. Thank you.**

**KathleenDee **


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

"What the hell is that?"

Paine sighed. "A teddy bear."

Rikku shook her head. "It's a rat." She poked the stuffed animal wearing glasses with her pointer finger and then looked back up at her girlfriend. "You bought him a rat? I ask you to do one thing Paine Kerrigan!"

"It's not a rat, it's a gerbil." Paine pulled Rikku aside in the waiting room. "I'm not even wearing underwear right now, what makes you think that I have twenty bucks for a teddy bear the size of an apple?"

Rikku couldn't help but laugh a little. "Take it easy Auntie Pai."

Paine ran a hand through her hair, "look I—"

Just then a nurse's cart station was knocked over by someone rushing into the room. It just happened to be a slightly sweaty out of breath version of Wakka. "It's a boy!" He fist pumped. Everyone except for the people who actually knew him applauded.

Tidus and Yuna were by his side in seconds. "But we already knew that it was a—"

Yuna patted his shoulder and moved to hug Wakka. "Congratulations, _Dad_."

"I mean you should have seen Lu in there, she was like a champ, better than a champ….A Champ's champ. No way in hell I'd be able to push that little guy out like—"

"What's his name?" Rikku bounced over to him and hugged him as well. "Rikko?"

Yuna laughed a little and Wakka shook his head no. "Lu and I couldn't come to an agreement yet, just come on and meet him already!" Wakka happily motioned to the hall he had just come from. He was about to follow the small group when he noticed Paine. He simply smiled at her and motioned toward the hall again. "You comin'?"

"I don't know…"

Wakka's smile dropped. "You ain't squeamish are yuh?

Paine actually chuckled a little. "No, not really."

Wakka nodded. "She said yes… I mean Lu she actually said yes and, I was real happy and stuff but den I realized I didn't have you to tell. I mean you were the first one who knew about it and—"

"I've been a jerk—"

"Just let me finish ya?" Paine nodded. "I know a lot of craziness has happened and things but you know what you need to do?"

"What's that?"

"Have a baby wit someone."

Paine made a face. "Wakka I'm gay…"

Wakka froze for a second. "Well I mean there are ways around that kinda thing, with advances in technology and—"

Paine could only laugh. "Have a baby?"

Wakka nodded. "My son was born today, everything is different now. Everything. Lu and I were talking about it last night and my number one concern is my family now ya? I want the lil guy to be surrounded by good things, good people, I don't care if their family or not. If they're not here in a positive way then screw 'em."

"You must be so nervous."

Wakka laughed. "Ya."

"Does this mean Lulu and her parents are done?"

"I don't know, but I do know that she's taking this mommy thing very seriously ya?" Paine nodded again. "What's dat?" Wakka motioned to the stuffed animal in Paine's hand.

"Oh." Paine showed him the little gerbil wearing glasses. "Five bucks, I know it looks creepy as fuck but Rikku kept saying we had to bring a teddy bear…."

"A rat though?"

Paine sighed. "It's not a rat."

##

He was small.

But he had bright orange hair just like her fiancé, her father's eyes, her complexion, and the cutest nose in all of Spira.

They just stared at one another in the quiet hospital room. Wakka had just run off to tell everyone leaving the mother and son to share their first moment alone.

"My little guy, do you know what kind of troubles you've caused?" Lulu asked in a quiet voice as she cradled him closer to her bosom. "It doesn't matter though, none of that matters anymore. You are loved, your father and I love you so very much, and I know you will probably forget this day with the years to come, but I hope you remember that you are loved." Lulu pressed a small kiss on his little forehead. "We'll protect you always." She couldn't help but smile when the boy tried stretching out his little hand for her disheveled raven bang. "So small." Lulu observed looking down at his fingers. "You don't look like a Blitzer do you? No." She smiled more when the newborn made a noise. "I didn't think so." Lulu sighed contently and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Lulu?" Yuna asked quietly as she pushed the door open.

Lulu opened her eyes and smiled at her best friend. "Yuna."

Yuna walked in and smiled widely at the image before her. "Mommy and son."

"A quiet moment before the chaos." Lulu acknowledged.

"Oh my goodness he is the most adorable thing." Yuna whispered when she noticed that his little eyes were closed. Yuna used two fingers to stroke the side of his face. "He's small…."

"And my son, he's perfectly perfect." Lulu joked.

Yuna laughed a little more. "I'll just have to pull in a few seems, not a big deal. He looks just like Wakka…"

"You think?" Lulu looked back down at her son. He definitely had that goofball look about him.

"The Moore nose though, for sure."

Lulu looked from her son. "He's our little guy isn't he?"

Yuna smiled. "He is."

"Where is everyone else? Wakka?"

"Rikku and Tidus should be right here, Wakka and Paine were talking last I saw."

"Paine is here?" Yuna nodded. "Good."

"Oh look at his little hands." Yuna cooed from her spot beside the bed. "A name yet?"

Lulu thought for a moment and then frowned. "He doesn't look like a Franco either…"

Yuna chuckled lightly. "No…"

"Hm…"

"A name….it should symbolize something."

"I feel like his should at least. He's the beginning of the future for Wakka and I…."

"Future."

Lulu chuckled. "No."

Just then the door knocked before being pushed open. Rikku's face brightened and softened at the same time as she took in the sight of Lulu cradling the newborn baby boy. She walked over wordlessly as Tidus trailed behind and stopped just behind Yuna. Rikku smiled at Lulu. "Congratulations Lulu, he's a dream, look at his little nose, Yunie what did I tell you?"

Little D'Autry opened his eyes at the sound of the new higher pitched voice. It wasn't anything like his mother's or the other gentle one that had just arrived.

"Thank you. He wasn't a dream coming out." They all laughed a little and Little D'Autry looked around frantically but calmed down again when he heard the second most familiar voice.

"Aye can we join the party ya?" Wakka asked as he and Paine came into the room. Wakka walked over to the foot of the hospital bed and smiled at his fiancé and son. Lulu focused her attention solely on him and sent him loving smile. Wakka couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "I love you." He mouthed while everyone else talked about how small the newest member to the their big family's ears were, or his little foot that had managed to peek itself out of the blue blankie he was wrapped in

"Hey." Rikku moved away from the bed and grabbed Paine's elbow. "C'mon."

"Maybe I should have-"

"Shush." Rikku smiled as she dragged her girlfriend to the edge of the bed. Lulu's eyes broke from Wakka's and found Paine's. "Say something nice." Rikku whispered as she let go of Paine's arm. Paine tried to say something but she couldn't. She not only felt nervous that everyone was watching her, but looking down at the woman who had been the attraction to all of her hate and realizing that she had been wrong weighed heavy on Paine. It weighed so heavy and somehow Lulu knew.

"Would you like to hold him?" Lulu offered not breaking her stare. "Paine?"

"I've never..." Paine felt Rikku taking the teddy bear out of her hands. "…held a baby before."

Lulu nodded. "Watch his head." She coached as she prepared to hand him off.

Everyone watched a little surprised at Lulu's words. No one had held Little D'Autry yet besides Wakka. Usually it was customary to hand newborns off to their godparents first. Lulu didn't really care for nonsensical customs though. Everything had changed in the past 24 hours. She was willing to trust Paine if Paine were willing trust herself. She knew Paine wasn't much for words, and neither was she, the two were about action, and the best thing the raven haired beauty could think was the action to end it all was this.

Paine braced herself by bending her knees a little as the little boy was handed over. He was trying to look for his mother until he paused and realized that this woman had the same deep crimson like eyes. He stared up at her for a moment trying to figure out what happened to his mom until Paine spoke "He's heavy." She observed and Rikku and Yuna both chuckled. Paine had really never held a baby before. Little D'Autry began making cute noises and moving his arms in that way babies usually do.

"Hold him Pai." Rikku said as she adjusted the newborns little blue beanie on his head. "Close."

Paine nodded and held the little bundle closer to her and looked down at him. "Hey little guy." She whispered as if a baby's ear would be way more sensitive than an adult. Little D'Autry opened his palm to Paine. Wakka and Lulu exchanged looks and smiled. "You're pretty cute…"

"Picture?" Tidus raised the digital camera he brought along.

"Not of me, I look horrible." Lulu shook her head.

"Nonsense ya? You look gorgeous." Wakka moved over to where Lulu was and leaned down to kiss her.

Rikku was too busy smiling at her girlfriend and the little blue bundle in her arms to noticed Yuna move away from nearby to get out of frame for Tidus to snap the moment.

"Rikku." Lulu called after the picture the blonde hadn't even realized was taken, was taken. "Future?"

Rikku furrowed her brows then smiled and looked back at the little boy who had a firm grasp on Paine's finger. No one really knew that during high school Rikku tutored Lulu in Al Bhed. If any time Lulu asked a word Rikku translating it without explanation was tutoring, then she tutored her, if not, well then she didn't. "Vidina….Ra'c dra vidina."

Lulu looked to Wakka and motioned for him to hand her the birth certificate the nurse had left with them. Wakka handed the slip and a pen to Lulu and she thought for a moment before writing her sons name. She handed the certificate to Wakka who read and glanced at his son before nodding.

"It's perfect Lu."

Lulu motioned to the little boy. "Vidina Mateo D'Autry."

##

"Viddy?" Rikku asked looking to her left at Wakka.

Wakka nodded. "Viddy…I like that ya?"

"He's so precious." Yuna sighed.

"Which one is him again?" Tidus asked getting a little lost with all the blue and pink blankies all over.

The four stood just outside the NICU viewing window where about a dozen premies slept peacefully. Some a lot smaller than others, some cribs closed off and oxygen supplied, others with little visors on. Vidina Mateo lay peacefully curled up with only a small breathing monitor near his bed and a gerbil teddy hooked in his tiny arms.

"Third from the left ya?" Wakka shook his head. "Pay attention. What if he gets lost in the mall or something when he's wit you and Yuna? You not gonna know what he looks like?"

"Not with that crazy red hair I won't lose him. It's just all these babies in one room; it's bound to cause some confusion." Tidus joked and found his godson with his eyes and smiled a little. "He's all curled up."

"Sleeping like a champ." Wakka nodded proudly.

"Everyone is champing it today huh, Wakka?" Yuna teased.

Wakka laughed a little and just sighed happily.

"What did the doctors say about his lungs?" Rikku asked watching the little bundle. Every once and a while his leg would kick out and it caused her to giggle.

"Dey say he may need to stay da night ya? He wasn't due for another three and a half weeks…."

"That's rough, he looks like a little slugger though." Tidus reassured.

"Ya." Wakka agreed watching his son's chest go up and down slowly and in time with the small almost silent beeps of the machine next to him.

"He's so cute." Rikku mumbled to herself as she wished she had more time to hold him when Paine finally stopped being a baby hog.

Paine.

Rikku stood from her leaning position and glanced down the hall where Lulu's room was.

Yuna watched her cousin's gaze and smiled. "Give them time."

##

The room was completely silent.

Lulu sat up in bed and watched Paine watch her from across the room where she sat in a visitor's chair. She wore a very thoughtful expression, jeans, and her school hoody.

Paine finally sighed after five minutes of complete silence. She sat up in her distant chair and leaned her elbows on her knees. "This… is hard to…to understand for me okay?" Lulu nodded. "It's always just been me…and now I have more than I know what to do with." She ran her hands through her hair. "Rikku, Lai, Yuna, Tidus, Wakka…One right after the other, and I'm grateful I am, it's just a lot."

"I'm not here to complicate things, Paine."

"Then?"

Lulu offered a small shrug. "I'm just here."

Paine nodded and then went quiet. "Vidina..."

"Future, it's not something you can run from, it's not something you can prepare for, you can aspire for things, but ultimately it is what it is, and I embrace it, If I wake up ten years from now wondering what I had done, what I didn't do… what if I hadn't gotten pregnant, what if I continued in my ignorance and not accepted love into my life, well then, he wouldn't be here, _my_ future wouldn't be here… does that at all make sense?"

Paine nodded and then looked at her hands. "He's your reminder."

"I don't know about my parents… but they are second now. I'm too old to be worrying what they think of me and the choices I've made, you are too."

"I'm not worried what they think of me." Paine snapped.

Lulu remained perfectly calm. "Aren't you though? They left you, both for completely different reasons, but they did and now you are who you are because of that? That one single factor has made all your decisions for you?"

"So you're saying it's not their fault I was a junkie with anger problems."

"I'm not saying that."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that there has to be a time, a moment in the present where you acknowledge the past for what it was, and use that to continue on to _your_ future, Paine."

"You don't know me at all."

"I think I do a little bit, more than you care to give me credit for."

"…I'm angry."

"So am I."

Paine looked up a little surprised. "Why are you so pissed?"

"I may have not gotten into fights or taken drugs, or thought that cutting my hair would make me—" Paine huffed and Lulu smiled a little but then went back to being serious. "I am still angry Paine, and its different yes, I know, but everything I knew was a lie, a big lie, at least you were raised with the truths of the world. I've been naïve, and I'm not afraid to admit it."

"Truths of the world…" Paine shook her head. "Real nice theory."

"Are you angry with me?"

Paine thought it for a moment and then sighed. "No."

"Well then…"

##

"Which one is yours?"

Tidus furrowed his brows at the attractive nurse who stood beside him. "Um.. well he's the third from the left, but he's—"

"Oh look how cute…Vidina Mateo." She read aloud. "Besaidian and Al Bhed…the name origins."

"Oh." Tidus nodded. "Well yeah, Wakka's an islander…"

The nurse quirked an eyebrow. "Wakka?"

Tidus nodded. "Yeah, tall dark and handsome guy with red hair running around here knocking things over?"

"Ahuh." She nodded sizing Tidus up. "He's your son?" She motioned to Vidina.

Tidus nodded proudly. "Yup, until Wakka gets back of course, he's a bit controlling."

"So you…The brunette?" She had been watching him for a while and just couldn't put two and two together.

"Yuna? We're here to support Lulu."

"Lulu?"

"She's the mother." Tidus motioned to little Vidina and smiled. He had woken up from his sleep and was looking a little scared to be in a new place. Tidus knocked on the glass to get his attention, successfully waking up three other babies. He waved to Vidina. "It's okay Viddy, daddy is right here; your other daddy will be back soon."

##

"What does she want?"

Lulu nodded knowing this was going to come sooner or later. "I've only spoken with her the one time…."

"Didn't she say?"

"She wants to meet you."

Paine looked away for a second. "Why?"

"Well I would assume because she is curious—"

"No, why did you meet with her?"

Lulu sighed. "I-I suppose I somehow felt responsible. Having a relationship with my father all these years, not knowing the truth... I didn't want you to get hurt… "

"You, didn't want me to get hurt…_you_?"

"I guess learning that you are my sister changed a few things…"

Paine huffed. "We don't look alike at all."

"Oh agreed." Lulu nodded and the room fell quiet again.

"What does she do here?"

"In the city?"

"Mhm."

Lulu shrugged. "We never got to that; she mentioned having some sort of rehearsal to run to though…Paine?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to apologize for the way you found out… I didn't know any other way and this is a small city…I feared you'd run into father or her or worse, my mother."

"They weren't here today…." Paine slapped herself mentally when she saw Lulu grow a little sad and the pull herself together.

"No, we didn't call them. I didn't need any more stress. Vidina has already suffered enough."

"They said that it was stress then? Him being early?" Lulu nodded and for some reason that pissed Paine off. Getting to hold Vidina just solidified how she felt about the whole thing. He was being monitored and couldn't go home right away because of this situation, it wasn't fair. Paine already felt protective and she knew it.

"I'd leave that life for him in a heartbeat. They are my parents but he is my son."

Paine nodded. "Wakka seems really happy."

Lulu nodded and smiled a little, Paine caught her glance down to her engagement ring. "I was worried before, but I think he will be just fine."

"He's got a big heart."

Lulu nodded. "…What now then?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you want to meet her?"

Paine looked about the room. "I'm afraid to." She admitted. It was strange how the more she spoke to Lulu the more she lowered her defenses. There was just this mutual understanding between them that had never existed before. "Of what it will mean, if it will change me or anything at all. I'm afraid of how I will feel…"

Lulu nodded looking at Paine in a different light. She never got close enough into conversation with her to really get much, maybe she would get the chance to now. "You two look alike."

Paine looked up. "Do we?"

Lulu nodded and smiled a little, just a little.

Paine looked away for a moment. "I'm not good at relationships with people."

"Rikku?"

"She's been the exception to everything… She's so easy to be with, everyone loves her."

"She's graceful." Lulu agreed. It seemed to be the right word to describe Rikku's openness.

"She is." Paine looked elsewhere again. "How do sisters act?"

Lulu shrugged. "I've thought I was an only child all this time."

"Yeah, me too."

"Well then there. I don't expect anything from you, Paine. I only hope that we can be better, as individuals, as family. You're Vidina's aunt you know. I wish I could start over and make better decisions about the way I reacted to certain things, with you and with Wakka in the past, but that's just it; the past. I hope from here we could try to be better."

"I'm willing to try."

"It's settled then."

Paine nodded and smiled a little. "This is going to be hard."

"Old habits..."

"I still think you're kind of a bitch."

"And I still think you have no fashion sense."

Paine sat back in her hair and crossed her arms but smiled a little more. This would be hard indeed.

##

"Hey." Boy was Rikku a sight for sore eyes. Sure she and Lulu were okay now, but that still didn't change that she thought that all that alone time with her right now was pushing it.

Bevelle wasn't built in a day.

"A smile? C'mere let me see you, no bruises?" Rikku started placing her hands all over Paine as if checking if she were okay. "No scratches, no no no, this isn't right."

Paine chuckled and motioned to the waiting room where Rikku was sitting alone. "Where is everyone?"

"Wakka is in the NICU watchin' Viddy sleep. Yunie and Tidus went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. We're all gonna stay for a little while until visiting hours are over, then we were going to come to my place and then back here in the morning tomorrow. That sound okay?"

Paine pursed her lips together. "Tonight is family dinner at the house, Elma's night."

Rikku nodded. "Okay."

"I'll stay for now and then y'know come back in the morning, Where do you want me to meet you? Here or at your place?"

"Come for breakfast."

Paine agreed and they both sat back down in the waiting room. The room was small, anxious parents and relatives sat all around. Sometimes someone would run out and announce a sex, people would clap, and then some small chatter would ensue. It was never really quiet, Paine kind of liked that. All the waiting rooms that she ever used were always too quiet.

"So how did it go in there?" Rikku asked after they sat.

Paine played with a fray of denim at her knee. She would need new jeans soon. "It was good… yeah. I think it went okay. She's still a bitch…"

Rikku sighed. "Paine."

Paine chuckled "But she knows that's what I think now so it's okay."

Rikku shook her head and then smiled. "A sibling thing I guess… y'know…I always wanted a sister."

The taller of the two rolled her eyes. "I've only had her for like a week and I can tell you, it's not that great."

Rikku chuckled. "Aw c'mon, you're lying to me." Paine shrugged. "I think you like having someone."

"I have you don't I?"

"Well of course Pypo, but I'm not related to you."

Paine thought about it for a second and then nodded. "It's an okay feeling…" She watched Rikku fight her smile in the corner of her eye and sighed. "Alright it's not so bad, just stop." The blonde began to laugh and Paine shook her head and then smiled when she felt Rikku's lips on her cheek. "Rikku…"

"Are you blushing?" Rikku tilted her head. "Aw."

"Yeah but we're in a hospital…" Paine tried to control her cheeks.

"So no kisses?"

"People are looking at us."

Rikku grinned and put her arm around Paine's shoulder. "No underwear huh?"

Paine began to laugh and couldn't help her next action. She leaned forward and placed a little kiss on Rikku's lips. They both smiled. "None." She whispered.

Rikku began to smirk and Paine shook her head no. The blonde's face dropped into a pout. "Why not?"

"You know how many babies are on this floor? It would feel wrong…What?" Rikku was laughing. "Wouldn't it seem wrong?"

Rikku pulled her arm from around Paine's shoulder and slipped it into her left hand and opened out the magazine she was reading before. Paine held Rikku's hand on her lap and glared at an older man who was looking at them before taking a breath and relaxing.

##

Paine sighed. "I know…I know….for fucks sake babe I'm not going to forget! Bye!" Paine hung up the phone and groaned when it began to ring again. She opened her apartment door and gave Elma a head nod before picking up again. "….He's not your kid stop buying him things! ….I know he's cute but that doesn't….yes…no…really? That's a deal…no, yeah get him the green one….I love you too, bye." Paine hung up and sighed.

"I hope you brought pictures into this house, if not I'm sending you out to get them." Elma joked from inside the kitchen where she was prepping things for dinner. Since Nooj was away it would just be the three of them

Paine didn't know who was more excited, her or Gippal.

She walked into the small kitchen and peeked into one of the pots and smiled. "Stew?"

Elma nodded dusting off some flour from her hands. "And homemade bread, I'm gonna show you two how us Djosens do it."

Paine laughed and rolled through some pictures on her phone till she got to the latest one. She handed it to Elma who covered her mouth. "Oh my goodness look at him! He's like a little, paler Wakka…his hair is red Paine! Aww."

Paine chuckled and looked around for a moment. "Where is Gippal?"

Elma smiled at the picture of the little boy and turned to Paine. "He's on his way here now. How are things going?" She handed her phone back.

Paine shrugged. "Things are…" She couldn't really say. On one hand she was a freaking auntie and Paine had to admit it was a little exciting. She and Lulu actually had a full conversation without Paine thinking she was nuts or a bitch in her head, and Rikku was happy, all seemed well in that hand. On the other hand she still hadn't spoken to Gippal since her apology, her rent was due next week, and she had a mother and a father within the same city. "Things are getting there." She nodded.

Elma smiled. "You seem…well, better than last week."

Paine nodded. "I'm… I feel better."

"Physically?" Elma crossed her arms and asked in her doctor voice.

Paine chuckled. "Yevon you sound just like Rikku." Elma laughed. "You know she asks me about my pee?"

"That's true love, and to think, you almost didn't take my advice." She went back to checking on the stew and tweaking the temperature of the oven.

"Yeah, to think."

"So?"

Paine sighed. "Headaches."

"Sinus area or what?"Elma turned around and looked at Paine.

"Back of the head mostly. They vary."

"You're no longer taking that medication are you?"

"No. I stopped."

"Cold turkey? It seemed to be helping no?"

"Well yeah, but it's expensive, and I felt like I drank three energy drinks sometimes. I couldn't sleep." Elma broke off a piece of bread and dipped the two pieces into the stew before turning and handing Paine one. Paine took a bite and sighed contently. It was definitely stew weather. "That's good." Elma dipped another piece of bread for Paine. "I don't know, besides a few aches in my back sometimes and then headaches, nothing really has been going on."

Elma broke herself a piece of bread. "I spoke to a colleague of mine; do you think that these withdrawal symptoms were brought on by anxiety? Have you been anxious lately?"

Paine leaned up against the counter and Elma pointed to the flour she had just gotten all over the back of her shirt. "Damn" Paine brushed herself off. "I think more than anything I'm just stressed lately, not really anxious."

"I think it may have something to do with that, your nervous system handles all of that, and if it has been compromised previously by drug use then it's going to struggle and overcompensate…. Homeostasis."

Paine nodded. "That makes sense…. So should I not meet my mother then? Could I get a doctor's note?"

Elma laughed. "No, but do relax the entire day up until…wait, you decided to meet her?"

Paine shrugged. "What am I going to lose? I've been thinking about it and Lulu was kind of right—" Elma put the back of her palm up to Paine's forehead. They laughed. "I'm fine it's just that I have to take responsibility for me, they missed the chance to know me and fix things then…it's just now that's hard because I'm going one way and I'm not looking back…and they want to, they want to look back because that's where it all started, and I guess….adjustments need to made somewhere…"

"Well, if it means anything I think you are doing the right thing." Elma checked the time on her watch. "This is hard, no doubt, but I think you'll be fine."

"Thanks."

"I'm going to leave this on simmer, change, and then we can talk about coordinating times for tomorrow. I think I'll make a trip over to see little Vidina, and Walker."

"Getting changed for Gippal?" Paine quirked an eyebrow and Elma frowned a little.

"I have cooking stains all over me, and I don't know what happened after Rikku slapped him, but you two really need to fix it."

Paine sighed. "I apologized."

"He's been depressed ever since coming from visiting his mother."

"Not a good visit huh?"

Elma shrugged and began to wonder off to her room. "He wouldn't say, but I think so."

##

Rikku stretched out her feet and chuckled when Kimahri licked at her toes. "You're so weird." She picked her head up to look at her cousin. "Yunie your dog is weird."

Yuna was moving about her room looking for something. She stopped at where her dog was lying on the bed beside Rikku and gave him an affectionate pat on his head. "Don't listen to her, she doesn't mean it."

Rikku laughed and picked up her cell phone. "Brother says hi."

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Did he?"

"Yup, he's in training camp all week next week."

"Well they should be with how they lost like that right before the championship…Have you seen my- never mind I found it." Yuna picked up a spool of thread and began to measure out a few inches before cutting it. "Does Buddy say hi?" She chuckled when Rikku groaned. They changed plans and decided that since Tidus had training in Wakka absence, and Wakka was busy running between one of his jobs and the hospital, the two cousins would just hang out at Yuna's and have breakfast there in the morning. Yuna was taking in some of the clothes she had for Vidina and Rikku was lounging about, helping if necessary.

"No, Buddy does not say hi."

Yuna laughed more at her cousin's tone. "Do you say hi?"

"No, I don't say hi either."

Yuna smirked as she worked. "You know what I don't get?"

Rikku looked above her phone from her conversation with her brother to her cousin. "What Yunalesca Bianca Shaw? What don't you understand?"

"Why the subject makes you so testy, why, even when you say you don't like him, you don't just ask him to leave you alone…"

Rikku furrowed her brows. "I'm in love with Paine."

Yuna nodded and brought her work over to the foot of her queen sized bed. Kimahri picked his head up and sniffed at the fabric before lying down again. These two truly bored him sometimes. "Yes, I wasn't saying that you weren't… why the inner turmoil? I know you don't hate him like Paine does."

Rikku shrugged a little. "I don't feel like he is a threat, Paine does…"

"Because you don't. I can see her point in all of this. He's handsome, a jock, rich, a he..."

"A c'mon Yunie it's not like that."

"Well then?" Yuna glanced down at the onesie she was fixing. "Tell me."

Rikku was silent for a second or two and then she sat up. Yuna was her girl; they could talk about anything and everything. This last year had proven that. "It's strange; I guess I like to feel like I'm still sought after?" Yuna nodded. "After the Auron thing I just felt…and then Paine she changed all of that, but I have her, I know she's mine and I'm hers, but a girl likes to feel y'know," Rikku shrugged. "That's why I don't really mind him."

Yuna laughed a little. "Perfectly normal feeling, but, you don't like him do you?"

Rikku shook her head violently. "No no no. I love Paine…I want to…" Rikku sighed; the recent thought just kept on coming up ever since seeing Paine hold Vidina. "Am I crazy for wanting to have babies with her?" Rikku blurted out.

Yuna raised her eyebrows in shock and then burst out laughing. "Bayla Bayla?"

Rikku blushed furiously. "I'm serious Yunie, shut up!"

Yuna tried to contain herself but it was just too hard. Her cousin was just a mess whenever she talked about Paine when it was just them two. She was so happy for her but it also made for great entertainment. Rikku was glaring now and Yuna finally settled her laughter. "I don't think it's too crazy of a thought because you're young and in love and…you, however I don't know how that conversation would go over with Paine…now."

"So I should wait like…a week?" Rikku joked.

"How about a year or two?"

Rikku laughed. "Realistically probably longer, I need to get myself together and with all this stuff with Paine… but Yunie I swear it was like my heart hurt, she was so cute and gentle with him. She'd be a good mommy."

"Well you have time and lucky for you, no surprises." Rikku sighed and Yuna noticed her face grow sad. "What?"

"I never really thought about…y'know what people have to go through to have a kid if they don't…if they're gay y'know?"

Yuna grew thoughtful then a little sad as well. "It isn't as easy but…. But I think that in that way it's better for the child, they're definitely coming into love, y'know? Wasn't just an accident, it was planned and thought has gone into all the details. I think its better that way. I think that's how it should be for everyone."

Rikku played with her hands a little embarrassed at the conversation. "I always feel like I'm ahead of her, like I liked her before she liked me, I loved her before she loved me… I mean I'm too fast, I know it. We only…" She blushed again. "We only started having sex when I got back…When I thought she didn't love me back for that second before she sat me down, it was the worst feeling ever."

"You know her better than I do, and I already know that she isn't going anywhere unless she gets arrested or something." Tuna jested and they both laughed. "Seriously though, don't be afraid of how you feel… don't go running around saying you wanna have lady babies with her or anything just yet, but don't be afraid of it, love is a good thing." Yuna nodded. "Look what love brought us all today?" Yuna motioned to the onesie in her hands. "Lulu had the same problem, I do too. I think it's hard for everyone to let something scary like love in, it makes you crazy."

Rikku laughed. "Crazy is not the word."

Yuna sighed. "At any rate I think you two will be fine, once you make it to one year and you still can't get enough of spending time with that person, I think you're good to go."

Rikku smiled. "I love you too y'know…Not like Brother loves you or anything—"

"Oh for the love of Bevelle we were like four!"

Rikku cracked up and dodged the pillow that was thrown at her. "Hey hey hey!"

Yuna chuckled. "I love you too, Cous." Kimahri barked. "You too Kim Kim."

Rikku laughed. "He's jealous of our relationship."

Yuna pet Kimahri and laughed before kissing him on his scruffy forehead. "She's the third wheel right? She always has been, don't worry."

"If I'm the third wheel then what does that make Tidus?"

Yuna thought about it. "You know those cans on the strings that you drag in a wagon to make noise?"

Rikku just about died laughing. "That's so messed up!"

Yuna laughed too and pet Kimahri some more. "That's how he's been acting lately."

Rikku held a look of concern. "Things not going well?"

Yuna sighed. "We're still fighting about graduation, not all the time but I can just tell when he's thinking about it."

"Has he gotten an offer to the Abes? Blitz season starts up again in the summer."

"I know, and no, but there was a scout at school while they were practicing, several actually."

"So what's the big deal though? Why is he acting like a meanie?"

"He's just frustrated with me because I didn't jump and tell him that I would follow him anywhere. He can't just expect that, I have plans and goals too."

Rikku nodded. "Yeah I know."

"So we're at a point now where we just don't talk about it, but we both know we are thinking about it, what's going to happen, I love him, I do, but giving up what I've wanted to do for so long? Yuna sighed and Rikku just nodded. She could tell that her cousin had been holding it in for a little while. Who was she supposed to vent to anyway? Her father, if he were in one place for long enough maybe. Lulu just had a baby and got engaged, and it's not like Rikku had always been around as much as she used to. Yuna threw herself into her work. Vidina had about ten outfits here. Rikku crawled over to where Yuna was sitting on the bed, she nudged her shoulder lightly.

"You need me to beat him up for you?"

Yuna let up a laugh. "No, I'm sure things will work out, however they have to be they will work out."

Rikku nodded. "Let's go and get ice cream! It'll make you feel better."

"It's thirty something degrees outside." Yuna watched as Rikku hopped off her bed quickly and left the room to get her purse.

"Don't wear shorts!"

##

Rikku giggled when she felt someone put their arms around her the next morning. She looked over her shoulder and pretended to be disappointed. "Oh it's just you." She knew it had been Paine all along though. Only she wrapped her arms her like that. Rikku smiled and reached her hand up to caress the side of her face, Paine leaned in and they shared a kiss that lasted longer than they both thought. They hadn't shared the night last night and as needy as Paine thought it seemed she didn't like it. Rikku rested the spatula down that she was using to stir the polenta and brought it to the other side of Paine's face while turning to face her. Paine couldn't get enough of Rikku sometimes. She loved how she smelt, how soft she was, her lips. Paine backed her up a little and smiled when Rikku gripped her bicep with one hand.

"Morning." Paine mumbled when they finally pulled apart.

Rikku blushed a little but smiled anyway. She fussed over Paine's hair, it was getting longer. "Morning."

"I'm not late."

Rikku laughed. "I can see that."

They stared at each other for a second more until Paine looked behind Rikku to the stove. "Your thing is burning." She pointed.

Rikku quickly pulled away from Paine and went back to her polenta. She mumbled an Al Bhed curse and Paine chuckled. "Thanks, Pypo, go somewhere."

Paine smiled and moved to set the small in kitchen table like she always did whenever she Yuna and Rikku would cook together on Sunday's. Kimahri ran into the kitchen upset at having missed Paine's arrival. "Hey Kim." Paine patted him on the head and went back to what she was doing while Rikku tried to save the polenta.

The front doorbell sounded and Kimahri took off again. Paine glanced over her shoulder at Rikku and sighed. "I start work back up soon."

"Before the semester begins?"

Paine nodded. "For the kids who live on campus."

"Well that's good right?"

Paine shrugged to herself. "What do you like to do for new years?" It was this weekend after all. "You want to go out?"

"Do you want to? I usually go to a party, there are millions of them."

"I don't know…" New Years was probably the craziest time in the city. Every year she got into a fight and ended up with some kind of injury.

"Well those tickets I got to the theatre are on the first, in the evening, you think that's enough time to get over a hang over? I don't even know if you should be drinking to be honest."

"I'll be fine."

Rikku shook her head. "You love to worry me, I swear you do."

Paine finished setting the table. "I do y'know why?"

"Cause you're a meanie?" Rikku asked briefly looking up at Paine. She did a double take for a second and smiled a little.

"No. Because you—"

"You look cute today."

Paine looked down at what she was wearing. A simple black V neck with long sleeves and jeans. "Okay…"

Rikku laughed. "Something looks different."

Paine shrugged and turned back to what she was doing, or what she was now pretending to be doing to hide her blush. She both hated and loved it when Rikku openly stared at her. "Well I knew I'd be coming over so…"

"Are you wearing make up?"

"You act like I never do."

Rikku laughed. "You do I know it's just… why do you look so cute today Pypo?"

Paine had to chuckle at that. "I couldn't tell you, Rikks. I did spend a little more time getting ready than usual… Plus when we cleaned out my closet I found a bunch of stuff…"

"Oh." Rikku nodded and checked Paine out for a second as she turned to fix a crooked fork on the far side of the table. "New jeans?" Paine turned around and Rikku shot her eyes up to her face to find Paine's signature smirk well in place. Rikku shrugged and winked at her for good measure. Just then Tidus and Yuna walked in.

"Sup ladies." Tidus greeted with his usual smile. Rikku didn't say anything to him and Paine didn't either. Tidus glanced at Yuna and Yuna shook her head. She knew why Rikku was giving him a hard time, and Piano always gave him a hard time. There wasn't much she could do about it.

"Let's eat and then leave so we make it in time for visiting hours." Yuna nodded.

"Sounds good, I'm starving." Tidus took a seat beside where Yuna usually sat. Yuna pushed Paine to sit and then she and Rikku served up the breakfast polenta with tofu egg scramble.

Paine pushed around her tofu eggs and glanced at Rikku who had to laugh at the face she was making. "It's not going to bite you, Pai."

"What is it?"

"Tofu eggs."

"They didn't have regular eggs at the store?"

"The store is a twelve minute walk in the blistering cold. Uncle B eats this tuff all the time and so will you. Just try it."

Yuna laughed as Paine made a show of taking the smallest piece possible. "Here, Paine, add this hot sauce. Our grandmother puts it on everything and it's really good."

Rikku nodded in agreement. "Yunie stole it right from under the old lady."

"You stole from your grandmother?" Tidus laughed but asked a little shocked.

Yuna shook her head and handed Paine the bottle of green hot sauce. "She makes it every Sunday, Rikku let's not start or else I'll tell Paine about the gravy boat."

"She said I could have it!"

Paine laughed as she re-capping the hot sauce after pouring some on her eggs. "Rikks what the hell would you do with a gravy boat?"

Rikku shrugged and grabbed the glass bottle for her own breakfast. "Gravy things…"

##

"How'd it go last night ya?" Wakka asked as he and Paine stood in line at the hospital cafeteria for coffee for everyone.

"I could ask you the same thing, how'd you know about last night anyway?"

"Lu hardly slept, little Vid's lungs started acting up but he's stable now. I don't know what you guys talked about but even though she didn't sleep much, Lu seems in a better mood." He motioned to his cell phone in his hand. "I got the cooking schedule still in here, and I knew Nooj was gone."

"Maybe it has something to do with not having to carry around another human being…" Paine raised an eyebrow at him and Wakka laughed. She then shook her head. "Well it started off weird… like we wouldn't even look at each other and then someone texted him and I guess I don't know, by the end of the night we were cool… I guess we still need to talk but he's not not talking to me." They moved up in line.

Wakka nodded. "That's good ya?"

"Yeah. So you guys get to take him home today?"

Wakka nodded excitedly. "Got the seat in the car, the bottles in the fridge, the crib is up."

Paine laughed. She was happy to see him so happy. He deserved it with all the drama he and Lulu had to go through. "No word from her parents though?"

Wakka shook his head no. "How would they even know, I mean Yuna's dad and her dad are close right? Maybe that way. I asked Lulu if she was sure she didn't want to call them and she told me to rub her feet." Paine laughed. "You think it's funny? I'm not happy that Vidina was early, but I am happy that Lu isn't pregnant anymore."

"Super bitch."

"Ay that's my fiancé huh?" But he nodded anyway.

Paine laughed and they moved up again. She forgot how much she missed having Wakka around the house, he was always making people laugh, even her. "What about the wedding?"

Wakka ran a hand through his hair. "We'll see wit this last semester of school ya? If I get drafted then we'll have the money and we could probably do it in the summer, if not well den we'll just wait, maybe do it on Viddy's birthday. Nothing big y'know. Lu already said she was happy just going to a courthouse but I had to put my foot down. I want her to have something special."

Paine nodded. "Rikku and I have a big anniversary coming up… Half a year, hasn't seemed like that at all."

"What are you going to do?"

They moved up again. "I have no frickin' clue. It's gotta be big or at least just really thought out. Her birthday is like two days after too…"

"Why don't you just go away? Like get a hotel or something and just go to the country side." Wakka shrugged.

Paine thought about it. There was that one pace they really liked when Rikku took her for a drive right when she learned the news about her parents. "That's not a bad idea. Money though."

Wakka sighed. "Ya."

"I'll think of something." Paine nodded. She was trying to handle life as it came, and yes this thing about her parents was important, but Paine really wanted to show Rikku how much she appreciated her. The blonde hadn't taken off the pearls she got for Christmas yet, but Paine didn't want to just get her something. She wanted to create a memory. This was the longest healthy relationship Paine had ever thought to be in, and she wanted to let Rikku know that she was proud of that and of her.

The two friends filled up on coffee's for the rest of their crew and were on their way back to Lulu's room where everyone was hanging out while little Vidina soaked up all the attention and chatter. As soon as they rounded the corner though they could hear Rikku and Yuna speaking to someone, their voices a very cold and stand offish versions of their natural charm.

"You don't get to just show up." Rikku nodded with her arms crossed to her chest, her green eyes piercing daggers at the man who caused all this.

"I think its best you leave." Yuna said a bit more tamed than Rikku, but obviously still upset.

Paul Moore sighed. He was standing there looking very tired in his winter over coat and was holding a small bunch of flowers for his daughter. "Look I don't know what Lulu has said to you all, I don't want to stress her out, I would just like to speak with her—"

"Ay." Wakka interrupted. He had a new look about him, a fatherly look. He knew it was Lulu's father he had seen him before a few times but they never really met. None of that mattered though. He wasn't about to come here and upset everyone. "What's going on ya?"

Rikku looked up to see Paine and Wakka coming over. Paine was holding two coffee cups and Wakka was holding a small cup holder with four more. They both didn't look pleased, Paine had put on her brave face and it was one that Rikku was nervous to see because that's when her defenses went right up, no one was breaking that wall, not even her.

Paul turned and merely glanced at Wakka but his eyes fixated on Paine. He didn't know she would be here. His stomach tightened and he tried to remain calm because the look she was giving him was begging him to make a stupid comment. Ths was not the young lady he met at Harvest. "Wakka I presume….Paine." He greeted when the two finally reached the small blockade to Lulu's room.

"Pai." Rikku said quietly but her girlfriend didn't even look at her, she merely handed her the coffee cup in her left hand.

"What are you doing here?" She snarled.

"I'm here to see Lulu." Paul answered.

Paine just stared at him for a moment or two. She was trying to read his intensions. Lulu had had her back without even knowing if Paine would be appreciative, she had to return the favor. "No."

Yuna and Rikku exchanged looks. The tension in the air was so thick that you couldn't help but feel a part of it, every word, every look, and every breath. It was quicksand. This had the potential to get ugly.

"…I don't want to cause any—" Paul was cut off by Paine taking an audible breath to calm herself down.

"I said, no."

Paul sighed and handed his flowers to Yuna before slipping his hands into his pockets and walking right up to Paine. Rikku had half the mind to take the other cup of scolding hot coffee out of her girlfriend's hand before it messed up his expensive over coat. He was in her personal space now, and he probably didn't even mean it, but he had set off alarms.

Crimson stared into crimson. "I know I have a lot to explain to you, but everything I know has changed too, you aren't the only one with problems, Paine Amelia. We don't know each other, and that is my fault, but I need to make things right. I need to—"

"Get the fuck out of my face." Paine growled.

Paul seemed a little surprised. No one else was though, this was Paine, reduced down to her ways, this was her, protective to a fault and unyielding in the things she believed in or cared about.

Rikku took a step forward. Was it so inappropriate and wrong to think Paine looked extremely sexy right now? Probably. She shook her head mentally and got back to the reality, and the reality was that if Paul liked the way he lived and didn't want to go into trial against his good friend Braska then he really needed to leave, like now. "Mr. Moore, you should just go." She spoke up. She glanced at Paine again and saw the base of her neck was a little red. She moved so that she was subtly standing on Paine's side to face him, but also a bit in front of her. "Lulu will call you when she is ready to talk to you, you can't just push your way into this, she has to come to you. You have to wait." Rikku softened her tone from before. Paine had to get this from somewhere, and if she hadn't made herself not seem like a threat then he probably wouldn't even hear her. She needed him to hear her.

Paul looked away from his daughter and to Rikku who nodded vigorously. "Fine." He stepped away from Paine and gave everyone a final nod before leaving.

Rikku looked over at Paine again. "Mad'c ku vun y fymg, Pypo." The Al Bhed would give her something to take her mind off of throttling her biological father. She glanced at Yuna who nodded once in understanding. "C'mon." Rikku grabbed Paine's arm gently like she had been doing for so long now. It was tensed. "Mad'c ku."

**AN: Alrighty, so I lost a bet and I had to update today because of it lol Hope you all like it. I think this chapter gave a better insight into a few relationships, not just Lulu and Paine's. Tell me if you see what I'm talking about. Love reviews and the new ones too! **

**KathleenDee **


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty**

**AN: In light of my team totally kicking butt and winning the NBA championship I decided to update. I was just that happy lol Enjoy!**

Paine hadn't been this upset since the Auron trial.

"My legs aren't as long as yours slow down please."

She exhaled and uncurled the fists that were deep in her winter coat and stopped for her girlfriend to catch up with her.

They had been walking for about an hour at least and Rikku was glad Paine knew where she was going because she sure as hell didn't. She was also glad Paine was beginning to calm down. "Thank you." Rikku adjusted her scarf around her neck and tilted her capped head to see what was going on with Paine. "You stopped."

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

Rikku looked around. "In Bushwick?" Paine shook her head and began to cross the street. "You forget how cute I am? Someone might try and snatch me up."

Paine assertively grabbed Rikku's hand in hers.

Rikku smiled

Yup, slowly but surely her Paine was coming back. Rikku got even happier when she realized where Paine was going. It was a little cozy tea house crammed between a hat shop and a corner market. The sheer brown curtains were drawn so that the bright snow from the outside wouldn't ruin the ambience of Sidda's Teas. The small sitting area smelt of an odd yet soothing mixture of chamomile and pot. Rikku was just welcome to come out of the cold. Paine motioned to a small table in a corner and took off her coat and placed it on the comfy chair before heading to the front counter. Rikku sat across from the chair Paine placed her things and looked around. There were only a few other people inside, it was the perfect place for a careful confession or a secret meeting. She looked along the solid walls and concluded that this was Guado owned. It had to be, she couldn't read anything. Rikku wondered if the tea was any good. Paine returned with a small tray with a glass tea pot with a few leafs in it, a few spices, and then a tiny flower bud. She placed it down before Rikku and left again only to return with two small glasses and butter tea crackers.

Paine rolled up her sleeves before sitting down. "We have to wait for the little bud to grow more." She pointed to the tea pot before handing Rikku a warm glass.

The blonde nodded and studied Paine for a moment before dismissing the obvious question. "How do you know about this place?" She whispered it only seemed right; the entire place was so quiet.

Paine thought about before answering. "Hookah upstairs." Rikku nodded and looked around. "Sometimes I'd just come in here and drink tea… Sometimes I wouldn't."

Rikku got what she was saying. "Huh."

Paine broke a butter cracker in half and looked at the crumbs she had made. "Was I too harsh?" She asked out of nowhere.

Rikku put her hand on top of Paine's left and Paine turned her hand over so she could hold hers. "I don't think so."

Paine exhaled. "I just feel like maybe my energy is wasted on them, I could be doing other things instead…I get like that."

"I haven't seen you like that in a long while."

Paine looked away and sighed, she looked back when Rikku brought her other hand on hers. "Did I scare you?" Rikku nodded truthfully. "I'm sorry." Paine said sincerely.

Rikku rubbed at her hand. "I can't imagine what you are going through, but I know what you are capable of, what you aren't. I think you handled it well considering. I mean you only cursed once..." Paine let up a mix of a laugh and a strangled attempt to keep herself together. It broke Rikku's heart a little because she could see the hurt on Paine's face. "Baby."

Paine brought her hand out of Rikku's and rubbed her face once before sitting up and motioning to the tea pot. "I asked them to put mint in here, let's try it now, it's ready."

Rikku nodded. Whatever pace she wanted to go, Rikku would go. "Is that clove?"

Paine nodded as she poured some of the amber tea into Rikku's cup.

##

"You're up late."

Rikku looked up in the dim light of the kitchen to see her father dressed down in flannel pajama's. "Hya Pops." She greeted before looking back to what she was doing.

Cid smiled a little and walked over to the glass container of jelly beans. He grabbed a big handful before coming to sit across from Rikku. Cid emptied out his hand on the table and picked up a yellow jelly and popped it into his mouth. He waited till Rikku looked up from what she was doing to grab a pink one before looking back to her work. "School assignment?" Cid wondered aloud wondering why his daughter looked so determined. It was four in the morning.

"School doesn't start back till anther week Pop."

"Hm…" Cid picked up a red jelly. "What are you doing then?"

"Budgeting."

"Budgeting?"

Rikku nodded.

"For what?"

"For when I graduate and stuff." Cid slowly chewed on the red jelly bean. "How old do I have to be before I have access to the trust?" Rikku asked looking up at her father.

"Twenty Five."

Rikku nodded and scribbled something down.

Cid rubbed at his chin in thought. "I am proud of you for doing this… but I'm also a little confused."

"Why Pop? In one and a half weeks I'll be a full fledge adult, don't adults do this type of thing?"

She had him there

"Well yes that's true…."

Rikku sighed and looked up at her father. "I want to fight with Paine."

"What?" Cid grew even more confused.

"Yunie and Tidus are fighting about their future plans and Paine and I aren't…"

"Is that such a bad thing, Milan?"

"Yes it is, we're not fighting about it because we don't know what we're doing, and we don't know what we're doing because I don't have a plan."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Paine fell asleep at one…so I guess like two hours... Everyone has plans Pop, and I don't." Rikku moved about some papers. "I'm silently freaking out because she's just going through so much, this would be just another thing for her to worry about..."

Cid nodded. "I heard about today from Braska."

"Yeah, and Lulu just had a baby… named future!"

Cid chuckled. "Relax, let me see what you have here so far." Rikku calmed down and handed over some papers. Cid read and nodded, his little girl wasn't stupid that was for sure, just about everything she did or spent money on was budgeted to the cent. Cid had to laugh at something though.

"What?" Rikku asked anxiously.

"A jelly bean budget?"

Rikku shrugged and picked up an orange one form the pile in between them. "They're expensive."

"Did you put your two dentist appointments in here?"

"Ah, no I didn't, good thinking old man." Rikku grabbed the paper back and jotted down her co-pay times two.

Cid smiled. "You know that I am always here to help you…"

Rikku shook her head no and blindly picked up another jelly bean. "I really need to do this…only help me out if I show up wearing a paper bag or something."

Cid chuckled. "Why would you be wearing that?"

Rikku looked for another sheet of paper. "Well here I went online to a thrift store downtown and spent an hour on the online chat telling the guy all the clothes I have, sizes, brands etc. And he said they could give me some serious dough for that so… If I can't pay rent somewhere then y'know, I'll just wear a paper bag. Those girls at school are doing it for some kind of protest; I'll just hang out with them."

Cid shook his head with a fatherly smile. "Milan don't sell your clothes, come to me first."

"You can't baby me forever."

Cid laughed. "I don't know how many fathers get to have this conversation…"

"Not many, count yourself lucky."

"You do know that it isn't going to be as easy as writing down numbers, you have to live it."

"I know."

"All grown up now I suppose." Cid picked up a green jelly before crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. Rikku only nodded as she was preoccupied with more number crunching. "How are things with you and Paine besides the not fighting part?"

Rikku shrugged. "Good."

"She hasn't been staying over as much…" Rikku could hear the hinting in his tone. "Not the guest room either…"

"Um, yeah, I've just been really having a bad night's sleep and Paine is going through a lot too, we cuddle…" Rikku glanced up at her father quickly to see if it had worked. It wasn't a complete lie; the last week had been filled with lots of cuddling and no sexy times at all.

Cid let it go, if anything, being with Paine was making her a lot more responsible. "You've been having nightmares, Milan?" Rikku had mentioned this a while back, she never said what about but Cid was sure he knew.

"Just the other night and… I woke Paine up, it was okay then."

Cid nodded. "How is she handling all of this?"

"You mean besides almost punching out Mr. Moore today? Pretty well I think."

Cid had to laugh a little. "I have to tell you I did not see this coming, I'm sure Braska had a clue but now a days with the whole firm to himself—"

"Wait a minute you're not helping him anymore? What do you do all day then?"

Cid shrugged. "I do help him a lot, he's got me on a salary, you believe that? You're uncle as my boss?"

"What is this world coming to?"

"But sometimes I go out with Juliann." Rikku made a face. "I also look into buying and selling, trade really. I'm thinking about purchasing a port."

"A whole Port?"

Cid nodded. "I would get a nice percentage of everything coming in and out, and from that number crunching you were just doing I'll need it once you hit twenty five."

Rikku chuckled and then sighed. "I' m really… struggling Pop."

Cid nodded in understanding. "I know Milan; can I give you some advice?" Rikku nodded and looked up at him as he stood and walked over to her. "Follow your happiness, and none of this paper will matter, hm?" He motioned to the breakfast nook table covered in loose leaf paper before leaning down and placing a kiss on Rikku's head. "Now get some rest."

"Ten more minutes?"

Cid nodded and picked up one more jelly bean before heading upstairs. He was a little surprised to see Paine silently sitting the top of the stairs. They exchanged looks of understanding and Cid patted her shoulder as he finished climbing the stairs and went to his room. He wasn't sure how much of that she had heard but he was sure she heard enough.

The next morning Paine woke to find Rikku sleeping curled up and quiet beside her. Her right arm was tucked close to her chest and her left was twisted under the pillow. Paine wondered how someone who slept so sloppily could have better sleep than she did. She studied her tan face for a moment in the quiet morning light; her dark lashes, her shaped eyebrows the rise of her nose, the swell of her cheeks. Paine leaned forward and kissed the top of Rikku's head before sliding out of bed and getting changed.

Rikku woke two hours later to movement in the room. "Hm?" She rubbed her eyes and looked around a little confused. "Pai?"

"Yeah baby I'm right here." Paine called from the corner of the room where she was fighting to open a tray.

Rikku sat up even more confused but then couldn't help but smile at Paine's struggle. "What are you doing, Pypo? It's still early."

Paine finally popped the tray open and rested it down over Rikku's lap. "I made you breakfast, and you're going to eat it in bed, and we're going to watch TV together."

Rikku nodded slowly. "Did you do something?"

Paine leaned down to pick up a few things that she had made. Rikku wasn't sure how she didn't notice the food in bowls on the floor before. Paine placed fruit down in front of her, oranges, bananas, and kiwi, because those were Rikku's favorites. She leaned down to pick something else up. "What? No."

"Well…is this counting for something this month?" They had so many things to celebrate in one moth Rikku wasn't sure.

Paine placed a breakfast plate made with bacon, eggs, cheese, and tomato down in front of Rikku next. "No."

"Well…"

"I'm just doing this okay? Can I do this?"

Rikku laughed and sat back. "Alright, alright." She watched as Paine put up a thermos of grapefruit juice and then some slices of toast with jam on them, fresh mozzarella cheese spheres and a few slices of cured meat. Rikku chuckled when she finished it all off by putting a random flower on the tray.

"Okay." Paine nodded at her work.

"Did you pick that in the snow?"

Paine shook her head no. "Ran to the florist and that's all they had, I mean it is the dead of winter…."

Rikku smiled. "This is really nice, Pai." She patted the area on the bed beside her and Paine came to sit down. "Um…"

"It's just because I wanted to do something nice for you okay? Everyday will be like this once things settle down, I promise." Paine motioned to the food. "I'm gonna be here to make you breakfast and to listen to you tell me about your dreams, and to watch TV with you, just like this okay? I'm not just working on things for me….I'm" She hesitated. "I'm working on things for us." Paine avoided Rikku's touched expression as she reached for the remote. "I think that we'll be in time for that one show—"

"I love you." Rikku cut her off.

Paine played it off by shrugging cutely as she played with the remote. "I love you too, Ri." She glanced at her. "So… I hope you know it."

Rikku furrowed her brows and reached a hand out to touch Paine's arm. "Where's is this coming from?"

Paine shook her head. "Nothing, I just want you to know that we'll figure all this out...and that. I'm here for you too. All this stuff with my parents and Lulu and everything it's important, yeah, but not as important as you are to me… "

"Aw, Pai." Rikku scooted close rot her on the bed. "C'mere." She cupped Paine's jaw and kissed her deeply.

They pulled apart and Rikku looked like she wanted to say something when Paine motioned to the food. "Eat first."

##

9:06pm

"I think we found it!" Rikku jumped with excitement when she heard the base get louder. She looked to her right to the person holding her hand. Paine looked sexy tonight in her tight pants and tall heels, and she couldn't wait to dance with her girlfriend and friends and bring in the New Year the only way she knew how.

In style

"Yeah this is the place for sure." Baralai motioned to his cell phone with the GPS coordinates already logged in. He was wearing designer jeans, a white button down shirt with an upturned collar and a gray sweater over it with the sleeves turned up. Paine had made fun of him the whole way there.

"I'm pretty sure everyone from school and two thirds of down town New Luca will be here tonight!" Tidus nodded excitedly. He himself was dressed in dark jeans and a plain white t-shirt with his blitz chain around his neck. Yuna was by his side dressed in a fun party dress of vibrant colors and some heels.

Paine couldn't help but laugh as Rikku bopped up and down to the song that continued to get clearer. She looked gorgeous tonight in her gray long sleeved dress that stopped mid thigh accompanied by what Paine liked to call a nonfunctional belt, because it was simply there to make some kind of fashion statement. The look was complete with her tall black boots and her long honey blonde hair let down. "You excited?" Rikku asked a she leaned into Paine a bit more.

"I'm excited for the after party." Paine smirked.

Rikku tilted her head. "Wait… where is that?"

Paine laughed and moved her hand from Rikku's hand to around her shoulder. She leaned closer to the blonde's ear and whispered something that made Rikku turn beet red.

"Paine Kerrigan." She gasped.

Paine shrugged. "Or we don't have to wait…" Rikku was wearing a dress….

Rikku laughed and nudged her. "Stop." She had to say it because she could already feel a heat between her legs warn her.

"Greg just texted me." Tidus motioned to his phone. "Let's hurry up and get the hell out this cold, we have spots in VIP."

Warehouse Seven was just that, a warehouse seventh in line in the meatpacking district of New Luca. Gregory Rendrello was the lot owner's son, and it was well known that the third year senior threw the best parties in all of NLU history. The police could never come as deep as warehouse seven without breaking some kind of trade law that the set of twelve warehouses held. It was the perfect spot for the sort of debauchery that went on at these parties. Gregory Rendrello also happened to be the junior forward for the NLU Goers and Tidus and Wakka's classmate.

10:33pm

Paine brought the drinks over and handed Yuna one before handing Rikku another. "So the bartender was flirting with me." She announced as she sat down on a plush sofa between the two with a coked down rum and coke for herself. They were still getting a feel for the party, and besides, if you were in VIP you didn't rush to do anything, you sat back and chatted, got a little drunk, and then around eleven thirty headed down into the crowed to dance and bring in the New Year with the common folk.

Rikku perked up at that. "Which one?" She crammed her neck to get a look at the three bartenders hustling the circular bar. On the outside Warehouse Seven looked like a shabby old abandoned building, but on the inside it had been renovated to look like a happening nightclub. Even Paine had been impressed. This was not the average basement party on Crenshaw.

Paine took a sip of her drink then motioned to the bar again with her chin. "The hot one."

Yuna laughed at the look Rikku gave her; yes they were all a bit tipsy. "You're in trouble now."

Paine shook her head no and then leaned over to kiss Rikku on the cheek. "You know where you stand."

Rikku nodded proudly, a silly grin in place. "I'm the HBIC up in this piece."

Paine laughed. "Yup."

"So it seems." Yuna laughed.

"That was a very Luluish thing to say Yunie, Pai we should visit her later, bring little Viddy a taco from that place that's open late."

"He's like a fucking half a week old babe, he can't eat a taco and he's probably sleeping already."

Rikku frowned. "We can get him a soft taco… Yunie you'd come with me right?"

"Of course."

Rikku nudged Paine. "See she's my cousin, she's got my back."

"What's this about tacos?" Tidus asked as he appeared with Lai and a few other guys the girls knew to be on the blitz team. Paine sat up a little and felt her relaxed state dissipate when she saw Buddy among them.

"We're going for a taco run Teedus!"

"Now? " He seemed completely game which made Rikku and Yuna both share a laugh.

"No not right now, blondie." Paine shook her head good-naturedly.

"Hey! I'm blonde too." Rikku reminded everyone and Paine smiled and took her drink out of her hand. Rikku pouted. She hadn't even realized Buddy was near, she only really had eyes for Paine, and for the first time Paine didn't feel at all threatened by his presence. Aware yes, but threatened, not even in the slightest bit. She and Rikku had a heart to heart a day ago after breakfast in bed, and it only solidified Paine's confidence. "But I'm not drunk…" Rikku whined.

Paine shook her head. "You wanna make it till twelve right?"

Rikku moved closer to her to reach for her drink. "You can't police me, I'm the HBIC remember, Head Bitch In Charge, Pypo. When I say jump you say…?"

"Fuck no?"

"No, you say yes baby and then you do it, and then like it would be great because your boobs would jump too."

Paine blushed a little but laughed and handed Rikku back her drink. "Yeah she's not going to make it."

"Boobs are like…a work of art or something, a work of art too multifarious and wonderful for men to encompass….Boobs are like…." Tidus rambled on and Yuna shook her head.

"Neither is he."

"Yuna has great boobs." Tidus nodded.

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen Paine's rack? I mean it's like the first thing I noticed about her…" Rikku jumped to defend her girlfriend's cleavage.

"It is?" Paine asked a little surprised.

"Alright well no… I think it was like….the forty third?"

Everyone laughed including Paine. "Oh well gee thanks."

"No no no, I mean that's only because you have so many other great features, and you like to pretend like you don't have them but you do…They are like…like the perfect shape...They should win a prize…."

Paine took another sip from her drink and leaned back in the sofa and rested an arm around Rikku's shoulders. "Can we not talk about my boobs anymore?"

Rikku sighed but nodded. It was then that she noticed Buddy talking with a few blitzers nearby. He glanced at her and smiled. Rikku smiled back before turning to Paine who was glaring at him. "You're cute when you make that face." She whispered for only Paine to hear. "Not scary at all."

Paine huffed and then turned her head to look at Rikku, their faces were so close. Paine thought to say something but decided on acing it instead. She leaned forward the small distance and placed a surprisingly tender kiss on Rikku's cherry brandy tasting lips. She pulled away and the two just stared at each other for a moment. Rikku giggled and touched Paine's face. Her eyes were a soft and playful ruby right now, it was completely charming. "Are you turning into a sappy drunk, Pypo?"

Paine laughed a little. "No." She whispered while nodding her head yes.

"So does that mean you'll dance with me now?" Rikku asked hopefully.

Paine sighed and downed the rest of her drink before standing and taking Rikku's hand. "C'mon Princess, let's get this over with." She joked. Rikku couldn't be happier. She grabbed onto Paine's arm and let herself be led down the sloping level and steps from VIP to the dance floor. Buddy's eyes on her the entire time.

He couldn't really place what he was feeling. Rikku had made it very clear who she was with, who she wanted to be with. He just couldn't stop thinking about her; she invaded his thoughts from the first day in Art and Design class. It wasn't love, Buddy had been in love before and this wasn't it, it was more of this honest infatuation. Rikku was unlike anyone he had ever met at NLU, maybe it could turn into love, but that was a pipe dream if he ever heard one. She was in love with her girlfriend, her respectively hot but bitchy and protective girlfriend. Brandon just didn't understand what she had that he didn't. Was it just bad timing? He wasn't at all bothered that she was a girl, okay well maybe a little, but he was sure enough to know that it was just jealousy. He knew that if he hadn't been so attracted to Rikku then he wouldn't care at all, but he was, and he couldn't help it. Rikku was this thing that he couldn't have, and it was hard when most of your life you got what you wanted. He was sure of that too, he was being ridiculous.

Or was he?

She never asked him to leave, and she only seemed put off by him when Paine were around. She touched his arm from time to time, but then she did that to everyone really. She flirted, if not out rightly or consciously, Brandon had been with enough girls to know what flirting was, and she did it.

Or maybe was that just how she was too?

"Dude!" Tidus came over and capped him on the back successfully causing the drink in his hand to swish and send small droplet's onto the stone flooring of the VIP section. "We're going on a taco run! You coming?"

Buddy laughed. "No, I think I'm okay."

Tidus nodded happily, his blonde hair had grown back considerably from the first time Buddy met him. "Say, you know where Dr. P and Rikku went? I wanna see if they want anything, the bar has crappy hot wings that I can tell came from a frozen bag, we're getting tacos!"

"You said that already." Buddy shook his head at his tipsy teammate. "They went to dance."

Tidus burst out in laughter and pushed his way against the railing to get Buddy's view of the dance floor. "Dr. P doesn't dance though."

Buddy shrugged. "Well."

"I can't find them…oh well." He straightened himself up and checked the time. "Lai and I are going to go, Yuna doesn't want to, will you look out for her while I'm gone?"

"Yah sure." Buddy motioned to Baralai and Yuna talking on the sofa where YRP was just sitting. "Why do you hang out with that guy anyway? Doesn't he seem a little…"

"Weird?"

Buddy nodded slowly. "Sure."

"He's a cool guy; he and Paine grew up together. I like him so…back off." Tidus joked with seriousness in his eyes that Buddy acknowledged. "You sure you don't wanna come?"

"Yeah." Buddy took another sip from his strong drink and search the dance floor. "I'm fine here."

"Rikku's gonna be mad I didn't tell her…." Tidus fretted.

"I'll tell her." Buddy jumped at the opportunity. "Yeah, I'll go and find her and tell her to call you…"

Tidus seemed pleased. "Cool, thanks man." And with that he was gone. Buddy polished off his drink and placed the glass at the bar before offering a random girl his hand to dance. She seemed hesitant but eventually gave in. He glanced over his shoulder at Yuna who was happily chatting away with some of her other friends from school.

It really didn't take as long as he thought to find Paine and Rikku grinding on one another. He would be lying if he said his pants didn't get just a little tight. He then soon felt the jealously pour through him though, and this was no longer hot. It was disgusting.

Rikku grinned at something Paine said and then rested her head against Paine's shoulder.

Was she drunk or what?

She held Paine a little closer to let her dance partner know that the shots she taken when she first got there had made themselves comfortable in the recesses of her mind. Paine wrapped an arm around her back and chuckled but said nothing. She knew this hold, this was the "I just realized that I'm drunk and these lights are too bright and this music is too loud and oh my gosh I'm drunk, how did this happen?" hold.

Paine just happened to turn her head to find herself looking directly at Buddy. He wasn't even far enough away to say something to Rikku, he was in arms length from the two, dancing with some girl, but openly staring at them with this look of… Paine wrapped her other arm protectively around Rikku, the oblivious blonde seemed to appreciate the full embrace.

Paine glared at him, and when he didn't look away like normal she knew they were going to have a problem.

"Pypo, I'm…I'm drunk huh?" Rikku asked cutely.

"What Princess?" Paine asked leaning down to try and listen to her over the loud music that they weren't even dancing to anymore.

"I'm drunk." Rikku laughed and wrapped her arms around Paine's lower back. "I'm drunk and you're dancing with me! I'm happy."

Paine couldn't help but smile. "I'm drunk too. Not as drunk as you though."

"I know cause you're a gentlewoman, you wanna e aware and all ninja like and stuff, and Paine?"

"Hm?" Paine steadied Rikku as she took her weight off of her.

Rikku cupped Paine jaw and grinned. "Kiss me."

Paine nodded and kissed her firmly and put her arm lowly on Rikku's back. Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and smiled sweetly at her when they broke apart. She perked up as the current song was morphed into one of her new favorites. She chuckled when Paine started dancing before she did.

"This is the one right?" She had caught Rikku singing to it on several occasions. "Where you think you goin' baby!" Paine grabbed her closer as she sung the one liner.

Rikku laughed and just like that they were dancing again. "Before you came into my life I missed you so bad, I missed you so bad, I missed you so so bad" she sung into Paine's ear as they danced. "And you should know that, I missed you so so bad."

Paine realized that she couldn't spend their time worrying when Rikku was clearly right there in front of her, she wasn't going anywhere, and with that she just ignored the looks and danced with her girlfriend as the year began to come to an end.

##

"Happy New year baby." Paine smiled after they pulled away from their New Year kiss.

"I love you." Rikku smiled and laced her fingers in Paine's. "Happy New Year, Pai."

"Happy New Year guys!" Tidus cheered as he drunkenly wrapped his arms around Rikku and Paine's shoulders.

"Happy New Year Teedus!" Rikku smiled before placing a little kiss on his cheek. Paine shrugged him off with a smile.

"Happy New Year!"

Rikku ran off to hug her cousin tightly and kiss her on the forehead. "Kisses for everyone!"

Paine laughed "Christ." She shook her head and let herself hug everyone in their little group. She had lost track of Buddy two hours ago until just now when he hugged a few of his friends and then came over to Rikku. She watched the exchange for e a second before someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Bayla." Buddy smiled, the alcohol he consumed through the course of the night evident in his bright eyes. "Happy New Year."

Rikku hugged him and was a little surprised when he just held her for a second. It was nothing like being held by Paine. His chest was hard, his arms heavy, his smell foreign. "Happy New Year." She nodded and then moved to leave the hug.

"Hold on." He whispered against her.

He was drunk, Rikku knew it, but she couldn't help but suddenly feel very hot and claustrophobic.

Auron's arms felt like this.

Paine hugged her long lost roommate with her back turned to Rikku and Buddy. Nooj had just tapped her shoulder to wish her a happy New Year. "What the hell are you doing here? In clothes?"" Paine laughed.

"I came in yesterday, figured I'd see you sooner or later, Dr. P. You forget I go to NLU too? I know about the parties."

Paine nodded. "Yeah I just forgot I guess, I'm pretty drunk." She admitted happily. She was happy.

"What the hell happened to Gippal?"

"Oh, long story, you got my text about Wakka's baby right?"

"Yeah and his, how many godparents does this kid need? He asked me to be one too. Told him I'd just be the cool uncle or something. Oh…how are things with um, your…the news you got?" Nooj asked in a concerned manner even though he too was drunk and hard of hearing because of the mumbled New Years song being sung. Who really knew the words to that thing anyway?

"…I just, I just need to tell you that because I do care about you as more than a friend and I know you are with her, but I can…" Buddy rambled as his grip tightened with every attempt on Rikku's behave to move. Yuna and Tidus were off, Paine wasn't even paying attention and she really was beginning to panic. He smelt of sake just like Auron had that day; he was heavy and not quite sinister but very much possessive. He was going to finish what he had to say and Rikku was going to listen.

A few feet away Paine shrugged at something Nooj said before she noticed an odd look on his face. "What?"

"Who's that guy on Rikku?"

All Paine needed to see was Rikku's face, how scared she really looked. That's all she needed before she was over there. She pushed at Buddy roughly. "Get your fucking hands off her."

Buddy staggered back a step or two a little surprised. His surprise soon turned to anger.

'You okay?" Paine asked Rikku quickly. The blonde barely nodded. Her once sparkling eyes were now a hallow green. Paine turned back to Buddy and pointed at him. "You just fucked with the wrong person." Her voice was so sure and thick with her youthful aggression that it made Buddy actually wonder what was going to happen to him. Of course if he knew Rikku's past he'd know exactly what was wrong, but he didn't, so he just shook his head like it was nothing, that Paine was angry because she was jealous not because he had just ripped Rikku's pretty pink band aide off with his selfishness.

"Let's just go, please." Rikku was tugging at Paine. "Please."

Paine looked at her and nodded before looking back to Buddy. "Your days are fucking numbered I swear to god I'll kill you will my own hands if I have to."

"Paine!" Rikku pulled at her more sensing that she was drunk enough, and angry enough to do something like that.

She did dig her own pregnant half sister's grave while drunk and upset.

"We were just talking." Buddy defended, in his mind it was enough.

Paine glared at him as Rikku pushed her away; her auburn eyes burning to hurt him for hurting Rikku in such an invisible way. Even as she pulled at her Paine could feel her hands shaking. She gave one last look at Buddy before wrapping her arms around Rikku and frowning when Rikku pushed at her.

There was supposed to be a difference.

##

Paine lay awake on her back with Rikku to her right curled up in a ball with her back to her.

She was crying.

She was crying and she didn't want Paine close. For the first time in months Paine was reminded at how big her girlfriend's bed was. Hoe empty this grand house could seem, how cold it was outside…

Paine sighed and tried to block out the sound. It didn't work. Finally she got up and walked around to the side of the bed Rikku was facing and sat on the ground before her. "Baby…"

Rikku just shook her head no.

She didn't want to be touched right now, she knew that eventually it would feel good, she would be reminded at the difference, at Paine's soft skin, her scent, how home felt. But Rikku didn't want that right now. She didn't know why, she just needed to feel like one single person, her, she couldn't cover this up with hugs and kisses. She freaked out tonight, in a very serious way. She was scared and not even Paine's strength could help her right now.

Paine shook her head. It was six in the morning and she had been at this since they got here at two. She was tired and upset, and just needing Rikku to be okay. But she wasn't, that was clear.

"Do you want me to leave?" Paine asked,

Rikku didn't say anything.

"Do you want me here is what I am asking, Rikku." It was too hard to be in the same room as the person she was so in love with went through so much hurt and refused to be comforted. "Damnit just say something!"

"No." Rikku shook her head. "No I don't want you to leave me."

Paine calmed down a little. "Okay then please just…just tell me what to do." Paine didn't even care how desperate she sounded right now.

Rikku began to cry again and Paine frowned. "Just….it's just….I feel him… all over I feel him, and I'm scared it won't go away this time…"

"…Okay." Paine stood and pulled her shirt off leaving herself in a bra before getting on the bed again. "Then feel me…" She whispered as she came close behind Rikku. "Just…try and feel me, my skin. I'm right here, and I'm real and I love you and will never hurt you.." Rikku turned around to face her, their eyes locked and Paine was overwhelmed with how intense Rikku's eyes were. She was really fighting something here, that was evident. "I'm right here." Paine whispered again. "I can hug you or …I can just lie real close. Do you want that? Here." Paine moved closer to Rikku under the covers. "It's just me. No one else is here."

Rikku sniffled. "O-okay."

They lay there quietly for a moment, Sides completely touching, yet without movement, like batteries in the back of a remote.

"Hold my hand." Paine whispered.

Rikku slowly laced their fingers together and Paine squeezed her hand gently. They lay awake like that for some time. Rikku making a small noise similar to whimper caused Paine to lean up on her elbow and look down at Rikku still holding her hand firmly in her own. She leaned down and whispered something to Rikku before looking back down at her again and then stroking her face gently. "And I mean that with all my heart." Paine murmured. Rikku finally locked her eyes with Paine and offered Paine the slightest up turn of her lips. Paine leaned down and pecked Rikku's cheek. "I got yuh back baby." Rikku grinned at her accent. Paine put her arm around Rikku's midsection and moved closer to her. "Go to the pawk, drink some cowffee, get some hawt dowgs, smoke a spiff." Rikku was giggling now, it made Paine smile. She leaned down and pressed another kiss on her mouth. "So no more tears, we have things to do."

Rikku wiped at her watery eyes, "Smoke?"

Paine chuckled. "If you want, anything you want."

Rikku moved to wrap her hands around Paine's neck. "I don't understand."

Paine furrowed her brows as she moved even closer to Rikku even though there was no more room to move. "What?"

"You always make me laugh when all I wanna do is cry."

Paine smiled. "That's what girlfriends do… That's what partners do."

"You wanna be my buddy?" Rikku smiled even more.

Paine shrugged "Well yeah."

"So are you asking me… to be your partner?"

Paine chuckled and hung her head. "Gee babe, putting me on the spot."

Rikku chuckled "I mean what does that mean?"

"It means that I need you and you need me… until I can afford something to…make it more….grown up."

Rikku seemed a little surprise. "You wanna be grown up with me?"

Paine nodded in the dark but left it at that.

"Five months and you know?"

"Stop asking me questions." Paine leaned down and peppered a few kisses on Rikku's face as she tried to ask again. "Shhh."

"Fine fine…" They settled down. "I'm tired." Rikku hugged her close. The numbing feeling that had once held her so tight was now exchanged with a warm and loving embrace.

"I'm tired too." Paine glanced at the clock. It was so early the sun would be coming up any minute now.

"…But I love you."

"I love you too." Rikku pulled her into a small kiss. "Do you wanna maybe talk to someone?"

"I talked about it, I talked about it a lot, and then in trial I listened to it, and then I lived it Paine. I just need to… I need to just…" She took a huge breath.

"Breathe?" Rikku nodded. "Okay." She yawned and just settled into spooning Rikku. "I've got you." Paine mumbled before passing out despite her best efforts to stay awake. She would feel bad later about the way that happened, but Rikku would assure her that being held and having the space to think and breathe was what she needed, and just what she got.

##

Rikku woke up in a good mood despite her headache.

A really good mood

She sighed heavily and rested her head back down against Paine's bare collar bone and used her right hand to hug Paine's midsection under the covers. "No… but I think..I think I will be, in time…. I mean this time last year…." She trailed off.

"This time last year I was working on a term paper." Paine decided to help her. "I went to a party in Bushwick and today, last year I was, working on a paper that I would never get to turn in. I was stressed and biting my nails and really thinking about… Dona, and using and just… I was okay, but I wasn't." Paine rubbed Rikku's shoulder blade with her fingertips as if to encourage her. If the silver haired girl had learned anything it was that talking about things aloud really made it better.

"I went to a party with Yunie…I made out with this guy there, and he wanted to take me home but I just kept on wondering if he'd notice. If maybe somehow there was a stamp on me somewhere that read something about how I was…in this relationship with my father's friend. If maybe it would make me unattractive or more attractive. I went home alone and took off all my clothes and just stared at myself in the mirror before it was too much. I averted my eyes all the time before…before I met you."

Paine kissed the side of her head. "So next year around this time I want a job, a steady one with benefits and my own place… I want a nice couch and there to be food in the fridge…I'll invite Big Mack over, show her that it's possible to come from where we came from and do good. I want to be healthy; I want to be a good aunt and sister… I want to do well by you. I wanna be in more control of my emotions, like I don't want to be so upset."

"This time next year I want to either be in school and focused or have a job, I want to be out of this place, buying my own jelly beans. I want to be with you, where ever that may be. I want to at least submit one of my paintings and learn how to make some more Al Bhed dishes; I want to be a good granddaughter and remember to call grandma more often. I want to have visited my mom's grave other than to just leave a flower and run off as quick as possible. I want to support Yunie, and Lulu, go to all your fashion shows and fight off the hot models who try and get at you." Paine chuckled. "I want to be proud of who I am and what I do, I wanna make you proud of me like you make me proud of you. I want to move on from these things that hold me back from being who I really am to everyone. I wanna see my mom's side of the family more…"

"So it's settled then." Paine sighed and rubbed Rikku's back. "We have a lot of work to do."

"We do but…. You think we can do it all by this time next year?" Rikku asked looking up at her girlfriend with a certain sincerity in her tone.

"As long as we stay honest."

Rikku really liked that answer. "I promise to stay honest with you."

Paine smiled. "I promise to stay honest with you."

They shared a quiet kiss to seal the deal before settling back down on the bed.

##

"Have you seen my shoes?" Rikku called as she adjusted her hair in her bedroom mirror.

Paine appeared from the open bathroom door. Her hair was styled neatly and she was wearing a black skirt that was tight in all the right places yet appropriate for the evening out, and her bra. "Baby I can't find my shirt either, what the fuck happened in here?" She motioned to Rikku's messy room.

Rikku sighed and glared at one of her favorite expensive hair clips snapped in half. "I was trying to find an outfit for last night and things just got out of hand."

"Out of hand is correct." Paine sat on Rikku's bed and began rifling through a pile of the blonde's clothes on the floor. "I found one shoe…" She picked up a beige heel and showed it to Rikku who turned around to look.

Rikku sighed. "No, that doesn't go with my dress."

"The one you haven't changed into yet…" Paine reminded as she watched Rikku fight with her blonde hair to get it just right in a pair of shorts and a tank top.

"I'll be fine, it's a zip up, I'll step into it."

"Where is it?"

"It's hung up in my closest next to your blouse; I took them both to the cleaners."

Paine sat up. "You had me looking all over the place for my shirt when you could have just told me that?" She would admit that she was just a tad frustrated right now; her splitting headache from the New Year's party that morning didn't help either.

Rikku shrugged. "I thought you looked in the closet first."

Paine let it go and got up to look in the closet, low and behold her black blouse was there wrapped in plastic on a hanger next to Rikku's wine colored theatre dress. "I feel like shit." She mumbled as she brought the two things out and rested them on Rikku's bed.

"No more throwing up please."

"I'll try my hardest." Paine said sarcastically before taking her blouse out of the plastic. "When did they say they were coming?"

"Tidus said six, but look, the doors open at seven, if he's only a little late then they'll be closed when we get there, and once the doors are closed we're all dressed up with nowhere to go."

"We'll make it….This shoe?" Paine held up a black heel.

Rikku turned and sighed. "Baby, that's _your_ shoe."

Paine looked at the heel again and noticed it was a size and a half bigger than Rikku's small feet. "Oh, well what's it doing here then?"

Rikku shrugged and moved to look at her dress. "All your stuff is here and though I have no clue how it happens, all my stuff is by you."

"It's because you just rest things down and forget about them." Paine put the heel on to see how it looked with her skirt. "ugh."

"Stop it, you look amazing."

"You're only saying that cause I'm not wearing a shirt." Paine kicked the heel off.

Rikku laughed a little. "Yeah but then again cause you look amazing all the time." She pulled her dress out from the plastic. "It is at your place." Rikku realized with a groan. "And my evening shawl."

"Probably when we went out last month…"

"Yeah I know they are there, I can see them in my mind right next to that stupid sword."

"Hey hey."

Rikku sighed. "I'm sorry baby I just y'know, I wanted to wear those shoes really bad."

"Wear something else then."

"I can't just wear something else, this is already pressed…..How long will it take you to run home?"

Paine shook her head no. "Every time you make me go somewhere to get something that one of us forgot, I get upset, you get upset, and we argue."

Rikku had to laugh at that, it was so true. "Fine…I just wish all our stuff was in one place at one time, like you could have your swords and weapons that facilitate gang violence and innocent death—"

"Right...I get it."

Rikku chuckled. "And I can have my things, so when we are leaving somewhere together we're prepared."

"Well." Paine stood with her shirt and began to put it on and button it up. "We don't live together, babe. "

Rikku sighed while looking at the dress. "Well we should." She mumbled.

Paine froze for a moment and watched Rikku pout over her shoes. "You think?" She couldn't help but ask.

"Well I would have my shoes." Rikku bent and picked up a random heel and put it beside the dress on the bed to see if it would work.

Paine nodded to herself. "Yeah… you'd have your shoes. It would save me a lot of gas money too…"

Rikku nodded not really listening to what Paine was saying. "Yeah, Pai."

"… I've never like, intentionally moved in with someone before though.. I mean Gip, but I don't sleep with him and we hardly talk as of now… It would be a big deal…"

Rikku furrowed her brows and looked up at Paine. "Well I've lived with my father my whole life. Is this really important right now? We're going to be late if I can't find a shoe to match this….I wonder how fast—Yunie!"

"Yuna?"

"We wear the same shoe size; I'll just call her and ask her!"

Paine nodded still a little preoccupied with her thoughts. "I'll be downstairs."

Rikku just waved her off. "Yunie? Hey are you still at your house?"

##

"You two clean up nice." Tidus grinned as he opened the front door to the famous Sphere Theatre for his three companions. He was dressed dapperly in a suit with his blonde hair slicked back and parted.

Rikku smiled and looked over at Paine. "Paine?"

Tidus chuckled. "Total ten."

Paine rolled her eyes at Tidus and Rikku's antics and fell behind with Yuna. "You guys made it back okay?" The brunette asked as she fingered the material of her clutch. Her tone suggested that she didn't want the two blonde's to hear their conversation. Paine nodded once. She was still so tired from the night before and the morning she had. Rikku hadn't mentioned anything once she was up and out of bed. She knew her girlfriend was trying to forget. "Nooj… he told me what happened. How is she holding up?"

"She's fine." Paine found herself wanting to be loyal to Rikku's vulnerability. She obviously would have told Yuna something by now if she wanted her to know, they were on the phone for like two hours after eating lunch.

Yuna only nodded. She turned her gaze over to Rikku and Tidus leading them into the well lit theatre. They were handed programs as they tried to find their seats.

"I'm not going to let her slip." Paine reassured feeling a little bad for her tone. Yuna had been nothing but a good cousin.

Yuna offered her a small smile. "Well that I knew, but being unbalanced can hurt, I don't like it when she hurts."

"Me either."

"Pai!" Rikku grinned and motioned to the Theatre. "You ever been in here?"

Paine rolled the program up in her hands. "What do you think? I'm not even going to ask how much these seats were." She motioned to the fourth row Tidus had run down the steps to wave to them that he found their seats. She was uncomfortable in such an elite place, but she tried not to let it show. Rikku had explained that going to the holiday presentation was her favorite part about the holidays. She said she could remember going when she and Yuna were just little girls.

Yuna moved from Paine's side to grab a seat beside Tidus. Rikku came back up the steps where Paine was standing and grabbed her arm. "This was built in the time before the Eternal Calm, you believe that?"

Paine nodded; the building sure did look old and out of place on modern Broadwhale Avenue. The architecture was old Spira, and it smelt a little like moth balls to Paine. "Long time ago." She agreed as they began to ascend the stairs together. Arms looped and looking very much like a couple.

"So the story is that old Maetsers of Yevon would come and make Al Bhed put on performances."

"Kind of degrading."

Rikku nodded. "Started out that way, soon it became more of an art than anything. You know that's kind of how Machina was introduced, this taboo relationship between Yevon and the Al Bhed, they had to have met somewhere right? Lots of people thought it was here."

Paine smiled a little. "You know a lot."

Rikku smiled and gave her a wink. "Ev fa vunkad uin bycd fa'na tuusat du nabayd ed"

Paine nodded as they continued down the steps. "You know I was wondering…Where is my family from? I mean I'll repeat my past if I don't know what it is right?"

Rikku nodded. "That's something you can ask her. I know that Lulu is Bevellian, but her mother and father raised her in Besaid. "

"So half Bevellian." Paine nodded as they came to file into the row where Tidus and Yuna were already seated. The silver haired woman's thought's wondered for a few moments before she broken out of them by a couple moving past them to get to their seats in the deep center of the row. She turned to her right were Rikku seemed to be taking a break from reality too. Paine nudged her softly and then took Rikku's left hand in her right. "You good?" She whispered.

Rikku sat up in her seat and leaned close to Paine to whisper. The place was filling up fast. "After this can I stay over?"

Paine tilted her head lightly but nodded. "Of course."

Rikku sent her a small smile, the kind that worried Paine because it never met her eyes. Paine picked up her hand that was in hers and kissed it before letting Rikku hold it in her lap.

"Hey Dr.P check it out." Tidus motioned over at Paine. He had the theatre program in his hand. Paine leaned forward in her seat in curiosity. "You got a long lost cousin or something too."

Yuna rolled her eyes. "That's not exactly the most sensitive thing to say."

Tidus dropped his expression. "Too soon?"

"What are you talking about?" Paine asked passed a silent Rikku and an annoyed Yuna.

"The program, check it out, the lead has the same last name as you."

Paine just rolled her eyes but opened the program to see which back alley version of spelling this Kerrigan had. She stared at the name for a few minutes. No it was the same spelling alright. Paine didn't know a Keira, but there was just something about the name that made it stand out.

Just then the lights dimmed, Rikku seemed to be broken out of her thoughts again. "It's starting." She whispered to no one in particular

**AN: Okay so a couple of orders of business. Does anyone wanna make a story cover for this story? I think it's a cool little feature but I don't have the time to do it. So open competition! Secondly I'm so happy for all the new reviews and story alerts, and favorites. Thanks, you all rock! Tell me what you think of the development so far. What do you all think is going to happen next? What do you all want to happen next?**

**KathleenDee . **


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter Forty One**

"You're on in three."

Keira nodded and adjusted her costume bonnet and shabby dress. She took a breath and delved deeper into her character. She had wanted this since she was a little girl and she learned that you could actually get paid for acting and singing. This was her dream, and though she seldom outwardly spoke about it back in Bevelle, cards of congratulations and good lucks came in, there were flowers in her own private dressing room, and everyone waited for her. Keira went through the motions that day at their final rehearsal though. She had made it in the old fashioned orchestra of Bevelle, the shabby pubs and bars in Guadosalam, the sprawling open stages in Kilika, and now the Grand Sphere Theatre in New Luca. There was nowhere else to climb.

So why didn't she feel like she thought she would? Like everyone said she should? Why did this feel like just another day at the office? When the curtain lifted and she stepped to center stage maybe? Maybe then she'd feel the thousands of expensively dressed elite staring upon her and listening to her story in a vamped new way, then, maybe?

Keira cleared her throat lightly and hummed the small vocal warm up she had learned as a young girl.

One never forgot her scales and her arpeggios…

_Flashback _

"_Do mi so do do so mi do, Do mi so do do so mi do." The young woman smiled as she sung to the baby girl who had just learned to stand on her own. At 11 months she was right on time and for once nothing even mattered. _

_Paine giggled at the funny melody as she plopped down on her butt. "So mi!"_

_It was the only part of the song she could sing and it made her mother's heart swell with pride. She was a Kerrigan alright. "If you're faithful to your daily practicing" Keira continued to sing as she picked Paine up to try and stand on her own again. "You will find you progress is encouraging…"_

"_So mi!" Paine plopped down again once her mother's hands let her go._

_Keira laughed. "That's right, love." She stood Paine up again, both wearing big smiles. "Do mi so mi do mi so mi follow so it goes, when you sing your scales and your arpeggios!" Paine giggled and moved her hands about. Keira let her go and for a few moments in time Paine stood and she smiled that cute little gummy baby smile of hers. Never mind the leaky sink, the empty fridge, the eviction notice being slipped under the door right that second that would be the catalyst for all change. Never mind it all. _

_Paine was standing._

_End Flashback_

Keira let out a breath and wrung her wrists nervously. She hadn't heard back from Lulu in about two weeks. She didn't want to push the pregnant girl, because in Keira's eyes she'd always be that little two year old…

_Flashback_

"_Papa! It's cold out here, can't we go home now?"_

_Paul looked down at his little girl, just as pale as the snow and bundled warmly with a junior winter coat. "Soon, my dear."_

_Keira opened the door with Paine in her arms. "She stood! Can you believe it!"_

_Paul was taken aback at her enthusiasm. The Keira he had been dealing with for the past year had never seemed happy with him, especially when directing her tone toward him. He let himself smile. _

"_May we come in?"_

_Lulu was already pushing her way into the apartment. "Can I see it? Is it a baby? Can I see it?"_

_Keira looked down at the little girl and then back at Paul. "You must be stupid."_

"_Stupid is a hurtful word used by people who don't have the vocabulary large enough to come up with more intellectual insults."_

_Keira just stared down at the little girl a little surprised. This was Ellen's child alright. "Or it can be used for adults who don't think little girls like yourself should hear the word fuck."_

_Lulu's eyes widened and Keira smirked. Little Lulu quickly turned to her father for him to do something._

"_Keira." Paul sighed as they entered the apartment Keira was sharing with a few other people. It looked like a dump. He turned to look at little Paine and felt his chest tighten. "You shouldn't have her here."_

"_Where are we supposed to go?"_

"_Maybe you should get a real job." A film tech was not going to pay the bills, he had told her this even before Paine was born. _

"_Maybe you should sell the animal off little Ellen's back and pay a few bills, because you could with that thing. Yevon Paul what a waste of money, she'll grow out of it before next week!" _

_Paul sighed, that had been his argument to Ellen. "Her name is Lulu."_

_Keira took a second to examine the little girl who was examining her right back. She went over to a couch and rested Paine down on it before turning to Paul. "We need to talk."_

_Lulu proceeded with caution over to the quiet baby with dark hair who had taken a sudden interest in her. "You're not at all big like me." Lulu thought aloud as she finally stood before the little girl with eyes that matched hers. "Which means we can't play dress up…"_

_Paine just stared. _

"_You don't talk either?" Lulu sighed. "Hurry up and learn, it's not hard." She leaned her elbows on the couch beside Paine._

_They stared at each other for a moment. _

"_So mi?" Paine tried._

"_So mi? So mi? What is that Al Bhed? Are you an Al Bhed baby too?"_

"_Bed!"_

"_No not bed, bhed. There is an H." Lulu made the H sound a few times for emphasis._

_Little Paine tried to make the H sound before stopping and clutching at her little black shirt. "D…Do so mi."_

"_I don't speak Al Bhed… Maybe I can teach you Common and you can teach me Al Bhed…."_

_Paine began to grow frustrated. She huffed and tried to cross her arms like she had seen her mother do before. It just resulted in her becoming a little off balance. Little Lulu reached a hand out to help steady her and Paine began to cry. Paul appeared and Lulu pulled her hands away. "I didn't do anything!"_

_Paul scooped Paine up and she began to cry even more and wriggle around in his arms. _

"_She doesn't like to be held like that." Keira informed as she rescued her little girl. "You would know that if…"_

_Paul groaned. "I have a daughter." He motioned to Lulu. "I know how to hold her."_

"_I can see in your face that it hurts." Keira shook her head. He always pretended to be what he thought the world needed of him to be instead of himself. _

_Paul tried to hold onto his courage. "I didn't come here for this."_

"_Right but you came here right? So you can see how we are living, and then give me money for a daughter that you wanted dead, and then drive off in your sports car back to your mini mansion and lay in your nice bed." She turned to Lulu who was openly staring. "Cover your ears." She did as she was told and Keira took a step toward Paul. "You are a fucking coward you know that?" _

"_You and I both know that you need this money to move."_

"_Move? That's good." She laughed. "Move where? Bevelle?"_

"_You are a child with a child, you have no idea what is good for her, what she needs. You ran away yourself, what do you know at all about this. I told you to just get rid of it—"_

"_Her name is Paine Amelia Kerrigan! She is not an it, she is a beautiful little girl who will forever grow up with a hole in her heart. Deal with that when you lay awake in bed." Keira was starting to get really pissed off right now. "And if I don't know shit, then why don't you take her..oh wait, cause Ellen Spaeo has your balls in a vice?"_

"_Ellen Moore! She is my wife; we live in a home with our daughter. There isn't any room for this!"_

_Keira even covered Paine's little ears now. "Well maybe you should have thought of the repercussions before you stuck your small penis inside of me." She growled. "But you wanted to be a man right?"_

_Paul was done with all of this. He grabbed Lulu's hand that was still covering her ears and pulled her toward the door. _

"_But Papa I was going to learn Al Bhed from that baby!" Lulu glanced back at the duo sadly._

_End Flashback_

That was the last time she was going to see her sister for nineteen years; the next being introduced by Wakka when he was apartment hunting. Lulu would watch in mild curiosity as the girl they called Paine and an ebony skinned woman stumbled up some stairs and shut the door behind them. The years had tarnished her memory completely of their first meeting, but she had always sensed something there.

"You okay Mama?" Wakka asked as he fell into bed beside Lulu. He had just finished checking on little Vidina and he was again sleeping soundly. The doctors wanted them to do breathing checks at night for the first month just to make sure everything was okay. The idea of his son's breathing just stopping scared Wakka into checking every fifteen minutes and letting Lulu sleep.

Tonight though, she was wide awake just lying there.

"Don't call me that, it makes me feel old."

Wakka chuckled. "So den you don't want nothing on mother's day huh?"

Lulu turned to look at him. "Let's not just jump to conclusions."

Wakka smiled. "You okay though?" He asked getting closer to her on the bed.

Lulu sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. "I want to think ill of them…. But they gave me everything, Wakka"

"Yuh parents hm?"

Lulu just nodded. "I think about Vidina… I don't want him to hate me, think ill of me." She was surprised to hear herself choke up a little.

Wakka wrapped an arm around her. "I wanna give him everything too, Lu. I wanna fight off all da monsters under the bed, help him learn how to shave, protect him always, but y'know we can't forever."

Lulu playfully pushed Wakka away and wiped her face. "He's not even a month old, stop."

Wakka chuckled. "He'll be fine, you'll be fine, and we'll be fine."

##

Paine sighed. She was bored. The lights had dimmed and nothing had happened yet. She leaned over to Rikku. "Is it too soon to leave?"

"We're sitting this through, Pypo stop it."

"How long is this thing?"

"Three hours."

"Three hours!"

"Shh" A group of people whispered at once. Rikku sent Paine a look that said behave and Paine groaned.

Off stage Carlo was helping Keira wipe her eyes. "I don't know what you think of before you start but man it works. You're such a perfectionist with your work."

"Is she crying again? Fuck!" Claude walked over and grabbed Keira by the shoulders. "Do what I hired you to do my little songbird."

She nodded quickly and took a calming breath before walking on stage alone. It was now or never, she could worry about her own personal life after the show. She needed to do well in this. If there was bad news to receive in the future, this would be the only thing she really had left.

##

"She's amazing." Yuna whispered to Rikku who nodded in agreement. The show had just began with a shabby looking Anastasia singing about her need for a home, love, and family. Wasn't what they all wanted?

"She can sing huh, Pai?" Rikku looked over to Paine who was slouching slightly looking bored out of her mind.

"Uhuh." Paine nodded not even paying attention. Her mind was on little Vidina, before they arrived Wakka had sent her a pic of him all bundled up and ready for bed. She hadn't seen him since the two had taken him home and that seemed like too long in her opinion. Maybe Rikku would want to go over first thing tomorrow morning. Paine dipped into her pocket and sighed when she got a text from Gippal.

"What are you doing?" Rikku glared when she noticed the bright light from her girlfriend's cell phone.

"Gip, I gotta call him." Paine motioned to her phone and Rikku gave her a disapproving look. "I gotta call him."

"You're being rude." Rikku whispered.

"How?"

"The show just started."

"Something could be wrong."

"It's Gippal, nothing's wrong."

The two bickered for a few more seconds before Rikku just crossed her arms and looked away. When she looked back Paine was nowhere to be found. Rikku only sighed and turned her attention back to stage, she furrowed her brows when she got a better look at the actress whose voice could end wars.

Outside Paine shivered as she wished her skirt had pockets she could stick her hands into. The twenty one year old looked up and down both sides of the street. Downtown was bustling as usual, even at this time of night and in this cold, people still had somewhere to be.

"Yo." Gippal answered when Paine called him.

"Got your text."

"Yeah….we fucking cool or what? I got some shit to tell you and I need to know you won't PMS on me and go running to your girl."

Paine rolled her eyes. "I don't go running… I drive or take the rain."

Gippal chuckled. "So what is it P?"

Paine sighed. "You said things…"

"Ay so did you, and Cid's girl and I already resolved all that, you're the only one who is stuck on it."

"You spoke to Rikku?" Paine asked a little surprised.

"Yeah sorta, anyway I said sorry to her and she said sorry to me, happy?"

"Yeah." Paine had to admit that was one less thing she had to worry about. "Alright, well now we got to handle some business first, you know what I'm sayin?"

Gippal sat up and grinned. "Should I get dressed?"

Paine shook her head. "Not tonight, Rikku and I will be by later, you don't mention this but I got a fucking bone to pick with this guy."

Gippal nodded. "Word."

"Alright so… what did you have to tell me?"

"Ran into Dona."

"Dona?" Paine hadn't even though of her in a while. "Damn, I thought she skipped town?"

"She did, but get this…"

##

Keira took a few easy sips from her water bottle and glared at the man beside her. "I want to know who the hell left." She barked once her throat was moist enough for the next number. She was on again in three but she couldn't even think straight with the thought of someone up and leaving not five minutes into her first appearance.

No one has ever just walked out before.

"On in two." Someone announced. Keira waved them off and waited for the balding studio director to find the seating chart.

"Bayla/ Shaw." He looked up at the songstress hoping that was enough.

"Bayla Shaw….Bayla Shaw? What the fuck is that supposed to mean to me? You think I know everyone's last name in the whole damn city!" She ran a hand through her hair and tried to calm down. "This is the Grand Sphere Theatre on opening night of one of months biggest performances in this season and all you have are last names? What if someone were to get killed?"

"One minute, Keir." Carlo reminded as he went to take his position on center stage. He chuckled to himself at his co-star. She had been on odds and ends all week, she wouldn't say why, but aside from the crying, it was pretty damn entertaining.

"I want at least a name, a full name, whoever was sitting in that seat _must_ have a name and it _must_ be registered with the company or someone was not doing their job and _must_ be fired. Do we have an understanding Conrad?"

He nodded and ran to find more details. Keira sighed and took a few large gulps of water before going to stand beside Carlo.

##

"Ah fuck, I mean that's good right?" Paine ran a hand through her nicely styled hair.

"Fuck if I know."

Paine nodded and stopped when her cell phone beeped. She glanced at it and groaned. "I got go, I'm in trouble." Gippal laughed and said bye before hanging up. She switched over to the other line. "Baby..."

"No,"

"Bu—"

"Paine Kerrigan if you are not in the main foyer right now I swear to Yevon no hugs, no kisses, no hi's. no bye's, nothing!"

Paine turned around quickly and reentered the theatre in time to see Rikku looking very pissed off beside a pointy nosed balding man in khakis and two security guards in suits. Rikku uncrossed her arms. "Paine Amelia Kerrigan?" The balding man asked.

Paine shook the cold from her hands and nodded. "Yes."

"Please take your seat." The other security guard nodded to the other and the three of them left leaving Paine and Rikku in a stare off.

Paine bit her lip and motioned to the security guards. "You called the fucking guards?"

"Oh shut up." Rikku stared her girlfriend down.

Paine rolled her eyes. "Real mature sweetheart." She didn't know Rikku was this mad.

"They came and escorted me out here."

"For what!"

"For you leaving! I told you it would was rude, but no you're always right and you always know everything, well not tonight okay? You don't know a thing tonight."

Paine furrowed her brows and took a step toward Rikku. "Are you okay?" She asked softly. This didn't seem to add up, and the question seemed to upset Rikku more because all Paine had to do was look at her to know something was up, and in that second she found it annoying.

"I'm fine!"

"You're yelling and picking a fight, and shaking…."

Rikku rubbed at her face and turned but felt Paine's arm pull her back. "I just wanna watch this without drama okay? Fuck Paine just stop." Rikku shook her hand out of Paine's and went back into the dark theatre.

Paine stood there a little dumbfounded.

Rikku hardly ever swore.

What in the hell just happened?

She sighed and made her way to her seat. On stage they were singing about something Paine could care less about.

Keira struggled through her last note as the curtains fell and she just caught the last of a tall woman walking down to the empty seat in the front. She hadn't had the best vision because of the lighting but that wasn't necessary.

She would know her anywhere.

##

Paine sat beside Rikku and leaned close to her. "Hey."

"What?" Rikku didn't look at her.

Paine knew better than to just blurt out asking what her problem was. "Look at me?" Rikku turned to her. "I'm sorry alright?" She reached her hand out to gingerly touch Rikku's. "I'm sorry Ri, and I'm not moving from this spot, not even if I have to go to the bathroom. I promise." Rikku sighed and leaned forward and surprised Paine with a chaste kiss. There was a small hum of chatter in the crowd as the stage crew worked hard to renew the new set with little to no delay. Paine opened her eyes from the kiss and rubbed Rikku's hand. "What's up?" She asked even quieter.

Rikku sighed again, this time at herself. "It's silly."

"Tell me."

"Later tonight?"

Paine nodded. "Okay."

"I'm sorry for uh, cursing."

Paine smiled. "Don't be. Sometimes it just helps no?"

Rikku nodded and gripped Paine's hand.

Backstage Keira was having a hard time keeping her cool. Carlo was fanning her with his copy of the script and looking around for Conrad and Claude.

"Keira!" Conrad came running with a very proud smile on his face. "Row four seat tthree. Paine Ame—"

"Amelia Kerrigan." Keira straightened herself out. "Yes I know."

"But I thought you said you needed to—"

Keira ignored him and turned to Claude. "Where is June?"

Carlo frowned. "Oh c'mon not her she kisses weird."

"Where is she?" Keira began to look around for her runner up.

"I gave her the night off." Claude appeared in his tailored blue suit. He looked more like a pimp than a director. "I did that because I knew you could do this."

"I can't."

"You have been preparing for—"

"I can not!" She swatted the script out of Carlo's hand. "Stop fanning me, I'm not hot."

"You're all red though." Carlo mumbled sheepishly.

"Which is why you need to go out there and do what you get paid to do Kerrigan." Claude shook his head. "You do it or no pay for all the weeks we've worked, do you understand?"

And so the show went on. Keira would be lying if she said it was her best performance. She was no longer in the zone. Her mind was running with questions, it was a wonder she remembered her lines at all, and if her crew noticed it, they said nothing, everyone except Carlo.

Good ol' Carlo Turner. She could always count on the suave Djosen to be honest with her.

"You're really sucking."

Keira sighed as she applied the last bit of makeup for her last performance. "Carl—"

"Is it that Paine chick…Is she what's wrong? Are you gay?"

Keira looked at him in the mirror more shocked than anything else. "She's my daughter you idiot!"

"Ohhh wait, daughter! You have kids? You're like what thirty four…?"

Keira sighed. "I'm thirty nine, Carl."

"Damn." He rubbed at his clean shaven chin. "So..." He took a step closer and leaned against the counter. "I'm guessing you didn't know she was coming…."

"I don't know her at all."

"Oh…"

"I've made a lot of mistakes Carl, this." She motioned to her rolled up script. "This is the only thing I can do right."

"So then show her that. She doesn't know you yet right?" Keira nodded. She looked like she wanted to cry. "Well at least show her the star you are. What's that they say about first impressions?"

##

Lulu woke to an empty bed and a sounding cell phone. Wakka was nowhere to be found, but she could hear him murmuring on the baby monitor and it made her smile.

"….And den when you kick a goal but don't make it ya? Da next team gets the ball…it's called a turnover….."

She shook her head and reached for her cell phone she had a text from Rikku that seemed a little off place.

_**Paine's mother, what was her name?**_

_**Keira, why?**_

…_**.Oh**_

Rikku looked at Paine who was behaving very well and watching the play unfold. This was the part where Anastasia began to realize her past. "Pypo?" She whispered.

"_Someone holds me safe and warm…"_

"Hm?" Paine asked not even looking at her.

"Baby…" Rikku was in her own mind, but even that could wait for this, that _had_ to wait for this.

"What? This thing is now starting to get interesting."

"_Figures dancing gracefully across my memory…."._

"Um…" Rikku didn't even know what to say to her. You would think that growing up apart still wasn't enough to stop a child from noticing their parents. But what about Oedipus? He totally did his mom and everything! Rikku doubted that would happen, but she didn't blame Paine for not knowing that the woman she was watching with respect as she was tugged in different directions from the ghosts of her past. Well, that was her mother. "Read this?" Rikku pushed her cell phone into Paine's hands.

Paine sighed in mild annoyance and looked down and then paused before glancing at her program then back to Rikku's cell phone.

"_Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember…."_

Keira knew she knew.

She looked up from one spin and met her crimson eyes directly and she knew she knew. Her stomach tightened and she was almost incapable of completing her next line. _"And a song, someone sings…."_

Paine wanted to throw up.

She literally felt like she was going to throw up. She knew there was something so familiar about her voice, these songs, this…this . She felt Rikku grab her hand and that's when she realized how sweaty her palms had become. Paine glanced at her and Rikku just knew they had to leave. It was the sort of look Rikku didn't see often on the paler woman's face. She was either always so calm and stoic, her facial expression changed softly unlike a lot of other people who would jump to feeling. Paine wasn't like that, Rikku had become very good at telling what was going on with her.

Keira frowned and let the last line echo through the hall. _"Once upon a Deceeeeeeeeember…."_ If she weren't wearing a mic she wouldn't have been heard. She glanced at Carlo and then back to the duo walking up the many steps in a hurry. The blonde's arm around Paine Ameila's lower back. They glanced back the same time as everyone in the crowd around them stood and applauded.

Bravo!

##

"You want a hug?" Rikku asked.

Paine simply shook her head no. They were outside waiting for Tidus and Yuna to find their way out of the massive crowd and to the parking lot. It wasn't snowing, but the winter wind was in full effect causing Rikku to hold her coat closer to her body as she watched Paine lean against her cousin's car. She could only offer what she had, and right now that was a hug. Paine's expression was blank, but her eyes were bright with a mixture of emotions. Rikku stepped closer to her and wrapped her arms around her body and just held her. She needed a hug too if she were honest with herself. The night before was still fresh in her mind and blonde was torn between needing to be held and needing to hold. Paine looked down at Rikku and snaked her arms around her waist.

"I knew you wanted one." Rikku mumbled to herself.

"Could you blame me for saying no?"

Rikku looked up at her. "I guess not… How are you feeling?"

Paine sighed heavily and looked around. Valet men in dark green jackets were scurrying about to get cars to the front loop for the impatient elite "Please don't ask me that."

"It's my job."

"I know it is… I just don't know the answer." Paine focused back down at Rikku. "I don't know her…."

"But her being alive, being present…"

"That's hard to deal with." Paine shrugged. "I just want to go home. "

Rikku nodded in understanding and held Paine for as long as the taller woman would let her. Tidus and Yuna showed up within ten minutes of the duo storming the theatre.

"Is everything okay?" Yuna asked her cousin and Paine as she hopped into the driver's seat and looked in the back at them.

"She wasn't a cousin was she?" Tidus asked as he got in the front passenger seat.

"Nope" Paine answered before turning her head to look out the window at the Grand Sphere Theatre. She felt Rikku pat her hands that were on her lap once before returning to her own thoughts.

After Yuna dropping the duo off at the Bayla residence the plan was to drive over to sleep at Paine's. Rikku turned on the light to her room while Paine made a B line for her laptop.

"No no no, no more looking at weapons, I thought I was sleeping over by you."

Paine opened up a search engine and typed in her mother's name. Why hadn't she ever just thought of asking her name? Then she would know all she needed to know, everyone had dirt, and that dirt more often than not ended up online.

"Paine."

"I'm looking at something." Paine mumbled.

Rikku rolled her eyes and then went to use her bathroom. When she came out she went about getting an overnight bag together. She had sleeping clothes by Paine from when she lived there that brief time, but that was in the summer, and this winter cold was killing her, especially when she knew her brother was living it up in the sun of Bikanel. She changed out of her dress and into some skinny jeans and Paine's hoody. She slipped her cell phone in the front pocket and moved to grab Paine's jeans. "Pypo?" Rikku asked as she tossed the denim onto her bed and walked over to wrap her arms around Paine's shoulders from behind and nestle her chin in her hair.

"Yeah babe?"

"We can bring the laptop….What are you looking at?"

Paine motioned to the open newspaper article from a few years back of her mother in Bevelle and then looked up at Rikku which caused Rikku to look down at her since her chin had lost its resting place. "We don't pay for heating at my place, you'll be cold."

"I know. All the more reason to cuddle?" She offered Paine a small smile that she clearly didn't believe.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong yet? Or should I wait?"

Rikku slouched her shoulders. "I feel like it's not as important as finding your long lost mother…"

"She wasn't long lost, she left, that's different, and it means that it's her fault." Paine turned her body in the chair. "Not helping you out with things, ignoring them…. That would be my fault."

Rikku unwrapped her hands from around Paine and backed up till she was sitting on her bed across from Paine. The blonde played with the sleeves of her girlfriend's hoody as she thought. "Well I just… I was thinking about things today…"

Paine nodded and leaned forward a bit to show that she had all her attention. "Bout what happened?"

Rikku nodded. "I almost got… raped Paine."

"I know."

"And I have been feeling pretty…. Indifferent lately."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that it doesn't bother me…. It should though right? I mean I feel like I'm ungrateful, I know I'm not and it's irrational, but I feel like I should be more outwardly…scarred."

Paine thought for a moment before speaking. Both their tones had taken on a sort of quiet, even though there was no one else in the large house. "You aren't?"

"I seem scarred to you?"

Paine nodded honestly. "That's only because I'm here when everyone else isn't. I'm here when you cry and wake up from bad dreams y'know? I know that every time the door just opens downstairs you tense… maladaptive behavior."

Rikku looked down at her hands. "I almost feel like I'm hiding something again…still, I'm still hiding."

"In therapy I talk about you a lot…"

Rikku looked up at Paine's gentle face. She never really went into any detail about what she talked about with Martha. Rikku didn't mind, maybe having that secrecy was good for them. "Yeah?"

Paine nodded. "Mostly because I love you... I need to check if I'm doing the right things…what's normal and what's not." Rikku nodded. She knew Paine took a lot of pride in them being in a serious relationship, her first actually. She had told her a million and one times that she wasn't going to screw them up even though that was all she knew."But then sometimes I say I'm worried about you. 'Cause I've been there, just... I was a lot smaller and didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Gippal doesn't know what almost happened, no one does and that's kind of what made it dangerous for me."

"I like to think I have a handle on things."

"I know you do."

Rikku twirled the small ring on her right hand. "So when I have a moment… when I freak out, I rush to pick everything back up and…and that's hard on me sometimes because for this… for this I feel like I keep dropping things, and every time I think I have a hold on everything… or when I lean down to pick something up again, I drop something else." It hurt Paine to see Rikku so frustrated with herself.

"Baby you can't hold everything." Paine reached a hand out.

Rikku sniffled lightly. "I have to though don't I? When Ma died I was left to be the emotionally sound one, while everyone else was crying I was the one coming over and saying it would be okay… as a little kid Pai, that was my job." Quiet tears trickled down her cheek. "And I like that job… I like fussing over you, caring for you and everyone else, it makes me feel good to take care of the things I love. It's just that sometimes I forget about me too." She shrugged and wiped her eyes. "It's not intentional, it's not pressure… I just forget." Rikku looked elsewhere in the room. "Maybe I just don't love me like I think I do… " She looked back at Paine and knew her words were effecting her, but she couldn't stop now, not when it felt so good to just vent these things that she didn't even know lived within her. "I mean look at what I did….I had sex.. not once or just twice… with…with _him_. I can tell you that it never made me feel special… but I kept on doing it." She wiped at her eyes again. "They said that it's probably to fulfill some void… but I still to this day can't find any void y'know? It's contradictory to what I just said but I'm generally happy with the way things are. I let them be, and it works…"

"It worked."

Rikku nodded as she wiped her face. "Right…worked."

She wanted to hug Rikku, to tell her that everything would be just fine, but Paine wasn't going to be that person. She could sense that Rikku didn't need that person right now. Later tonight when they were going to sleep, she would be that, right now when they were talking honestly and open without any censorship to their relationship. Paine had to be who Paine was. She had to take a step back and look at Rikku like a friend, because when it boiled down to it, she was her best friend. "Talking like this helps me… I didn't think it would and in fact it took several years of ignoring therapy and then just quitting, and then a meddling girlfriend to get me back for me to understand that this is what helps me, that and fighting."

Rikku couldn't help but chuckle behind her quiet tears. "I'm not meddling."

Paine waved her off good naturedly. "Gippal cooks…. Elma sticks band aides on people, Nooj….does what Nooj does. Wakka? The guy with no family what so ever, the guy who watched his little brother die? He kicks a ball and holds his breath for a long ass time. No one ever has everything in their arms at once, we're always dropping things. But…. Maybe on carpet… and maybe these things aren't as fragile as others. It's just about… y'know… balance."

"I haven't picked up a brush in weeks…"

"I've noticed."

Rikku rubbed at her jeaned legs. "I think I'm broken, Pai."

Paine smiled a little. "Let me help put you back together then."

"Is that all we are?" Paine's smile fell. "I mean…. Is that why we are attracted to one another... really?"

"It's not why I'm attracted to you…"

"But deep down?"

Paine sat in a quiet thought. She was sure the thought had crossed her mind early on in the relationship. Maybe she could save someone because she couldn't save herself. But she knew that wasn't the case. "You are the single most interesting, captivating, beautiful person I have ever met and ever will meet… I know this because of how happy you make me by just sitting there. I don't need you because I won't sleep or because you replaced a vice… I need you because…" Paine shrugged a little and motioned to her one month anniversary card that had found a permanent home on Rikku's nightstand. "You make everything just… better, Rikks." Paine looked away a little shy at her confession.

"Even when I'm like this?" The blonde asked self consciously.

Paine nodded. "I don't like talking about how I feel still, I mean it's just difficult… but if you need to hear that every day for years I'll say it, If you need help holding your value as a person, as my girlfriend, as whatever… I will be there to help you hold onto that the best I can." Paine stood and came to sit beside Rikku on them bed. "If you trip and drop everything… I'm gonna catch everything I can for you. Okay?" She leaned forward and placed a small kiss on the side of Rikku's head. "I'm never gonna let you lose sight of how superdeeduperdee you are."

Rikku burst out laughing behind her tears. "No you did not just say that." She wrapped both her arms around Paine's body. "I love you. I love you so much."

Paine proudly hugged Rikku back. It was the first time where she was able to articulate what she wanted to without screwing it up in her own mind or out loud. "I love you too, Princess."

##

"Today's my birthday…." Rikku nodded nervously and rubbed her mitten covered hands together. "I kinda snuck out and… well no one knows I'm here." She nodded again and then looked around. The once lush resting area was covered in fresh snow, and the sun was so high in the air that the white patches were blinding to a person with light eyes such as her own. Rikku dipped her hands deep into her thermal pockets and looked down at her feet. "Well I mean I guess you knew what today was…. I did come out of your vagina today twenty one years ago." Rikku chuckled a little then shook her head at herself. "There is nowhere to sit so… I mean it's snowing, it's been cold this winter, Paine got me socks for our six month…. That was two days ago…. They're really cute socks, and she got me a gift card… I guess I never talked about her to you… There was that one time when I was sick and I swore you were in my room…" Rikku sniffled at the cold. "Anyway, she um, she was in the hospital this whole week two years ago, drug overdose…. I know she thinks I don't remember but I made her a cupcake, like how you used to make me just one for special things? Like when I learned how to tie my own sandal straps." Her phone buzzed in her pocket but the blonde didn't bother with it. Instead she adjusted the beanie on her head and let her hands retreat back into the warmth of her coat. "I guess all this stuff about Paine learning who her mom was made me think about you… How I'll never just…y'know find you." Rikku looked away at an adjacent grave. "I never understood why Pops just left you here… with no one around. I guess he thought that we'd visit since it was closer, but that's kind of why I avoided it, you. I'm jealous… not enough to say anything or anything but.. I mean it's Paine's choice now, and I never got one, you just left and you'll never just come back and that really… it really sucks because I kinda need a mom right now, I needed one when I was twelve and I'm gonna need one when I'm thirty…" Rikku sniffled and wiped her eyes. "But that's life huh?" She kicked a small pile of snow she made within the first twenty minutes of just standing in front of her mother's grave and not saying anything. "Ed ec fryd ed ec…. I just came here to tell you about y'know, me, and that I love you and I'm sorry I haven't been by in a while…"

##

Paine opened the door to her room and tossed her gym bag aside. "Yeah I know…" She was on the phone with Yuna about Rikku's birthday. "Yup, last minute, she said she didn't want a party to celebrate the start of wrinkles… I know it's just because she's tired of pretending and stuff…. Yeah." Paine took a seat on her bed and nodded at what Yuna was saying. "She's been sad…oh Yevon…You think that would work? Alright let's do it then. I mean I'm up for seeing her smile." Paine looked on her nightstand at her picture frame. "Yeah… okay bye." She hung up and decided to actually call Rikku now. She had texted her happy birthday earlier but got no reply. She didn't think Rikku was depressed, she knew depression and her love wasn't that. It was more of an understanding that your problems didn't just disappear if you put on a pretty dress and a smile. Though Paine was all for this realist approach, she also didn't want Rikku to lose sight of who she was. She checked the time and figured she had about an hour before rehearsal actually started. She would call Rikku from her car.

##

_**Why won't you just let me apologize? :/**_

It was the twenty millionth text from Buddy that Rikku ignored just like the others.

She just got back into her car and was waiting for it to heat up a block away from New Luca Farplane Cemetery. She didn't know talking to a dead person could make you feel so good about things. She wasn't going to make a habit of it or anything but she had made her peace with her mother, and that felt really liberating after all these years of thinking there was nothing else to say. A small smile came onto her face when her phone began to ring. Rikku buckled her seat belt and tapped the phone icon on the side of her steering wheel twice.

"Pypo."

"Happy Birthday Rikks."

Rikku laughed a little. "Why do you sound so excited. You're not getting any cake."

"Wha? But I'm the birthday girl's girl… I gotta get like the second biggest piece."

Rikku grinned. "I don't know that rule."

Paine got into her car and started it up. "What are you up to?"

"Just um…" She glanced in her rare view mirror at the lumps of stone covered in the snow disappearing as she accelerated. "Just taking care of some stuff."

Paine glanced at the ticket stub sitting in the cup holder beside her. "Yeah I'm on my way to do some stuff too…."

"When am I going to get my present?" She asked playfully.

Paine pretended to think about it. "Well I'd fuck you now but…"

"Paine!"

She laughed. "Tonight, baby. I think you'll like this a whole lot so just be patient."

"Can I eat it?"

"What?"

"My gift, can I eat it?"

"No, I did not get you jelly beans."

Rikku pulled up to a red light and looked down at her phone that was on the open call screen with a picture of Paine's cut off face, all you could really see was her lips, a part of her nose, the expanse of her neck and just the tip of her right ear which on that particular day of goofiness had a piercing in it. She smiled. "I'm feeling better today."

Paine brightened. "Good, I'm glad you are."

"Do you want to meet up for food?"

"Um… yeah I guess I can buy you a birthday lunch."

"You're too sweet."

"Just remember that when people are cutting cake tonight."

"Of course. When are you done doing… what are you doing again?"

Paine hesitated. "I'm going to go look for my mother."

Rikku smiled. "I'm guessing you don't want me there."

"Not this time."

"I understand… I um, just came back from seeing mine...kinda"

Paine nodded slowly. Rikku hadn't been to see her mother's grave since middle school. She sighed which made Rikku crack a little smile as she concentrated on the road. "Big day huh?"

"The biggest, I'm twenty one today."

Paine found her smile again. "You are. Listen I'll call you when I'm done or if I chicken out okay?"

"I won't judge you."

"I know you won't."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Rikks."

"Poa-poa."

"Bye."

Rikku pressed the button to hang up the call and sighed. She was nervous for Paine, but then again she wasn't. Paine knew what she was doing. She just hoped she didn't resort to being angry, because she knew her girlfriend wasn't angry anymore, she was just lost. Hopefully this would give her some answers.

Rikku received a call about two hours later from the taller woman. She was spending time with her Uncle and cousin for her birthday. Uncle Braska had come back from a trip not too long ago and decided they would do something fun in celebration of everyone being of legal drinking age. Luca Brewery was in the downtown district of New Luca and just happened to be hosting an event where they unveiled their spring time ale and lagers. She wasn't much for beer, but Rikku was surprised to find a few that she liked a lot. It had been fun to just talk to her uncle about his travels, sneak off with Yuna to get more "samples" and try and enjoy the crisp day it was turning out to be. This part of the city was the warmest this time of year, and though she still needed a scarf the chilled beverage in her hand wasn't too cold to hold. Rikku was standing on a large patio within the brewery and looking out onto the Mi'ihen highroad when she got the call. "Babykins." Rikku answered the phone with a smile.

"Hey"

Rikku's smile fell. "Hey." She already knew that tone.

"She wasn't there…" Paine stared down at the card a Guado looking man handed to her when she asked about Keira. "I got her fucking card… she has a fucking card."

"What does it say?"

"Has her name and…it doesn't matter, she wasn't here."

"Sorry, how are you feeling?"

Paine stuffed the card into her back pocket and shook her head as she looked for her car keys. "I'm going to the gym." And she did just that. She hung with Rikku and promised herself that she was going to let her girlfriend have the day, yes she was angry for no real reason, but that didn't mean she would let Rikku know just how angry. Today was about Rikku Milan Bayla.

Paine stretched out her neck and then adjusted her stance in front of what would be her past for the next two hours. By the end of her sparing workout and just beating the shit out of the red punching bag at her local gym she showered and put on some nice jeans and a top and drove to the flower shop. It was five in the evening and it would be closing any minute.

Paine cracked a little smile at her girlfriend when she answered the front door. She was dressed up to go out. Paine had been texting Yuna to make sure the birthday girl still had no idea where they were going. "Holy fuck your drunk already?" Paine grinned when her girlfriend who was wearing a birthday hat and a mini skirt answered the door with a glass in her hand.

"Pai!" She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. "Guys, Paine is here!" She placed a little kiss on Paine's cheek. "Baby their hazing me." She whispered.

Paine chuckled and sent Yuna a questioning look when the brunette appeared wearing a birthday hat as well. "Oh you're here, good. Rikku?"

Paine moved Rikku's arms from around her because she wasn't letting go. "What the fuck?" She laughed. "I can't take her to dinner drunk off her face, Yuna."

"We're going to dinner!" Rikku asked with wide eyes. "I'm not drunk I promise, I'm gonna go get my shoes. Wait here!" Rikku stumbled up the staircase and Paine folded her arms and gave Yuna another look.

"I know I know! But she came home from the beer thing and Uncle Cid bought her some really old Al Bhed rum, and then she was all it's my birthday I can do whatever I want….I think it was the beer."

"Alright so… I guess I should cancel reservations then."

"No no no, you two still need to leave for a little while we set things up here."

"Well where do you want me to take her, Chucky cheese?"

"Are they open?"

Paine groaned a little. "No."

"No as in their not open or no as in—"

"No as in I'm not brining my twenty one year old girlfriend to a restaurant with a playground attached to it."

"Playground!" Rikku literally came running down the stairs. "!"

Yuna giggled at the look on Paine's face. "It is her birthday…."

Paine looked at the wide grin on Rikku's face and the satisfied smirk on Yuna's, then down to the heels in Rikku's hand. "You're going to need to change…"

##

"That was really fun." Rikku smiled as she held onto Paine's arm as they approached her house an hour and a half later. She had sobered up quite a bit but still loved the whole idea behind the date. "I didn't know they had a bouncy house too…"

Paine chuckled a little at the memory of trying to get Rikku out of the damn thing without going in herself. "I'm gonna get you back for that one." The blonde at her side chuckled.

"And we got toys."

Paine nodded. "And we got toys. I'm glad you had fun though.. I had this thing planned out before and it was way more expensive than a few cheery meals and access to the playpen."

"I'm a cheap date."

"But not a cheap girlfriend."

Rikku giggled and hugged Paine's arm closer. "You're so good to me."

Paine laughed a little as they climbed the stoop to Rikku's door. "Um…" She stopped Rikku at the door.

"What?"

"So Happy Birthday alright?"

Rikku laughed a little. "Are you leaving me here?"

"No, I just thought I'd say it before we went in."

Rikku tilted her head a little and Paine glanced behind her at the window where Yuna was making the universal stall gesture. "Alright, thanks Pai…You're so weird."

Paine nodded and then grabbed Rikku's hand when the blonde moved to open the door. She pulled her back and captured her lips before Rikku could utter a word. They relaxed into it and Rikku wrapped her fingers around Paine's arm. Paine moved her hands from Rikku's face before pulling away slowly. It was sweet and unexpected and it made them both smile a little.

"What was that for?" Rikku whispered.

"I just realized that I haven't kissed you all day." Paine murmured honestly.

Rikku's smile widened. "Do it again." Paine pulled her closer and pressed her lips against Rikku's in a gentle yet needy kiss.

Yuna moved back to the window to give Paine a thumbs up but stopped when she noticed the two in a snug embrace kissing slowly. She shook her head and smiled then turned to Tidus who had a noise maker in his mouth at the ready. She shook her head at him and he frowned before taking it out of his mouth.

"Not yet?"

"Give them a minute."

_**Five hours later**_

"Best Birthday everrrrrr." Rikku grinned as she walked into her room and proceeded to strip.

Paine looked her up and down. "Something tells me it's about to get better."

At that Rikku turned around and pushed Paine against the closed door. "Mhm." She purred. "You just..." Paine grunted a little when the blonde shamelessly rubbed herself against her. "Sit back and relax."

Paine chuckled. Rikku wasn't just really really tipsy, and she had learned when she was in that special place of not being plastered and not being buzzed, well she was extremely horny.

Like not being able to keep her hands to herself horny.

Like making out downstairs in front of everyone horny.

Paine moaned a little again. "Fuck I'm glad you're twenty one now…" She pushed herself forward to claim Rikku's lips and get this long awaited show on the road.

Rikku pulled away. "Nope."

Paine blinked. "Nope?"

"Nu uh." The Al Bhed smirked.

Paine pouted. "Why not?"

"Because I didn't give you your gift yet."

"Gift? I thought I was about to give you yours, what the heck babe?"

Rikku laughed at how Paine was completely serious right now. "Sit on the bed you horn dog."

Paine eyed Rikku as she went to sit on the foot of the bed. "Did you really just call me a horn dog?"

Rikku sauntered over to her dresser topless and ignored Paine's question by asking her own. "Do you know what today is?"

"Your birthday…."

"Right, and?"

"Annnndddd." Paine shrugged. Why did she have to have an amazing body? Why? Sitting here staring at Rikku do whatever she was doing over there was just torture. "I don't know."

"It's your anniversary." The blonde explained as she searched her drawer for a lighter. She remembered keeping the one that she and Paine used to smoke weed that one time.

"No, that was two days ago…"

"Not _our_ anniversary… your anniversary."

"Mine? What do you…are you lighting something over there?" Paine stood.

"Stay put!" Rikku shook her head. "Gosh."

"Babe…"

"Two years, remember?" Rikku turned around with a chocolate cupcake in her hand with white frosting, chocolate sprinkle and two little candles flickering.

Paine stopped staring at her chest long enough for her face to soften. "Rikks."

Rikku walked over and sat beside Paine on the bed and handed her the cupcake before kissing her cheek. "Two years clean, I'm so proud of you, to be with you, and to be the one to remind you that you're awesome and you can do anything."

Paine didn't even know what to say. She was touched, on the most sensitive level; Rikku had just touched her heart. "I don't know what to say." She looked at Rikku. "Thank you." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to Rikku's and then looked back down at the cupcake. "I thought you forgot…"

Rikku smiled. "I know you did. Make a wish, Pypo."

Paine glanced at Rikku before blowing them out and causing the room to grow darker. "Can I tell you?"

Rikku shook her head. "Well then it won't come true."

"Hm." Paine nodded. "Alright…."

Rikku grew concerned when her thoughtful expression changed to one of mischief. Not a second later she jumped when Paine smeared the top of the cupcake onto the sensitive skin on her chest. "Hey that's cold!"

Paine chuckled. "Oh I'm sorry…here," She gently pushed Rikku onto her back and crawled over her. "Let me help you with that."

**AN: Hope everyone is still there! I hope everyone kinda got what I was trying to do with Keira not being there when Paine was looking for her and Rikku's mother not being able to not be there… Or the beginning flashbacks, hope you liked those too. lol So many new peeps following this story, hope you all aren't too shy to review!**

**So the play Keira was in was Anastasia if you haven't guessed. The song "Once Upon A December" is what she is singing when she notices Paine and Rikku leaving. It's also from Anastasia. Pretty haunting melody, I thought it worked really well for that scene but I didn't want to put to many lyrics in so check it out. **

**The song Keira was singing to Paine in the flashback was "Scales and Arpeggios" from the movie "The Aristocats" It's a fun little number… I sing it in the shower lol **

**KathleenDee**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter Forty Two.**

"…And that's when Yunie appeared with a cookie." Rikku mumbled half awake and half still in the dream she was trying to recall. It was Monday morning and it was still dark outside her larger window over her bed. White caps of snow covering nearby rooftops was all one could see outside of the blonde's window. Paine loved quiet winter mornings like this. She stood, half gazing out the window half gazing at Rikku who lay beneath it mumbling cutely with her eyes closed and her tanned hands clutching the sheets. The fairer of the two stood fastening a belt around the waist of her black slacks. "…it wasn't yummy or nothin'…"

"No?" Paine asked softly; humoring her girlfriend. She probably would not even remember the conversation later.

She yawned and smacked her lips quietly. "Nope." Paine finished buckling her belt and smoothed out her work polo over her pants before moving from beside Rikku's side to get her jacket. "…It's possible, it is, but I did—" she yawned. "I didn't know that."

Paine slipped her jacket on and walked around to the empty side of the bed where she usually slept and reached into the top drawer of the nightstand with Rikku's family photo and their anniversary card on it. "I guess anything is possible in a dream." She pulled out her car keys and made sure her phone was charged. "Alright baby." Rikku turned over to face Paine began to pout. Paine chuckled quietly and pressed her right knee to the mattress as she leaned over and leaned in close for her kiss. "I love you, I'll call you later…c'mon."

"If I kiss you you'll leave." Rikku whined as she held Paine's face with both her hands.

Paine sighed. "I'll have to leave sooner or later."

Rikku curled up a little, still not letting go of her love's face. "But why?" Paine leaned forward suddenly and stole a kiss. "Noooo"

She chuckled. "I have to go now."

Rikku blinked cutely. "Why?"

"Because…" Paine planted both her hands on either side of Rikku's sides. "Someone has to work to put food on the table, cater to your needs."

Rikku gave her dopey sort of smile. "You staying would cater to my needs perfectly."

Paine let out a little laugh in the dark morning. " How'd I know you would say that?"

Rikku patted Paine's cheek lovingly. "Cause you love me."

"I do, and I also have to go."

"Okay." Paine leaned back in for a longer kiss than the first. "I'll see you later." She whispered.

"I'll make you dinner."

Paine chuckled. "I'll be here, so don't forget you said this." She picked herself up from the bed and grabbed her messenger bag that was lying on the floor near Rikku's closet door.

Rikku watched her from the spot on her bed. "Bye bye Pypo." She waved a little when her girlfriend neared the door and paused.

"Bye bye Princess."

##

"First day back!" Paine glanced at Tidus as she sat in the front desk of the rec center with her coffee for the morning. The university was opening back up from the winter break, classes would begin in four days, but all the schools facilities would have to open early. Paine loathed the idea, leaving a warm bed and snuggles from her rambly girlfriend for Tidus and his annoyingly cheery voice was not how she wanted to spend her last few days of vacation. "Spring orientation…" He nodded.

Paine just stared at him and took a sip from her coffee cup. "Spring fucking orientation."

"Wonder who you'll chew out today."

"You if you don't stop talking."

Tidus sighed and waited until she finished her coffee. "How are you?"

Paine looked up at him. "How am I?"

"Yeah, seems something is always happening to you y'know? Surgery... finding out you have parents, it just seems like a lot."

Paine sighed a little. "Worry about your own problems."

Tidus leaned back in his chair. "I don't have any."

"Your girlfriend not wanting to move with you?" Paine quirked an eyebrow and returned to her books. "Sure sounds like one to me."

Tidus just stared at her for a second and then returned to readjusting some pamphlets that sat in front of them.

##

"She was here?" Keira asked while fingering the scarf around her neck. There was another showing tonight and she had arrived a few minutes earlier to catch up with Carlo on some things they need to work on for tonight's show. Carlo was sitting at a baby grand piano clad in dark corduroys and a loose button down shirt with paint stains on it. He was helping set and design earlier.

He nodded as he tickled a few keys below middle C. "Yinny saw her and thought she was you until she was explained that she was looking for you."

Keira finally took off her scarf. "What did Yinny say?"

"He gave her your card." Carlo glanced at Keira as she sat on the bench beside him. "She looks grown Keira."

"No thanks to me. She's twenty one."

"Wow…she single?"

Keira had to laugh a little at him. He was what made dealing with Claude and all the other Sphere Theatre snobs worth the work and headaches. "You're too old for her, and I think she's gay."

"You think?"

"The blonde, to her right opening night?"

"Noo."

"Yup."

"How do you know all of this? I mean for someone who doesn't even talk to her…"

"I hired a private investigator."

It was Carlo's turn to laugh. "So she is then? Wait, does she know?"

"No she doesn't, I told you—" She tapped a melody and Carlo moved above middle C to support the sad little tune. "We've never once had a conversation, I doubt the few little words she could say at eleven months counts either."

Carlo frowned. "So… What are you going to do? She came to you once, you weren't here…"

Keira shook her head no. "I won't go to her."

"Why not? It's your turn…." He tiled his head. "Are you just nervous about what she will say?"

Keira shrugged much like Paine shrugs now. "I failed at the job that's supposed to be innate. Carlo….if you couldn't get an erection—"

"Whoa whoa."

"I'm saying if you couldn't, wouldn't you feel bad?"

"I mean.. yeah, but I don't think it's the same."

"Well maybe it is, Women… what is their role? What has been their one consistent role throughout all time?"

Carlo nodded. "Being a mother I suppose…Men have always been expected to get it up though…"

Keira shook her head in small amusement. "You're right, it's not the same."

You came here, you gave up all that you created to come here and live a life of struggle, create a new name for yourself here on the Grand Sphere stage for her, essentially… am I wrong?"

"I was here for the interview, saw the article and stayed for her… but I think it runs deeper than that."

Carlo nodded. "Well my friend, after practice today you and I are going to go to where ever she lives and let her know what's up."

"What is that?"

"What?"

"What's up?"

Carlo smiled that smile that got him the lead role. "That you fucked up, but you never stopped caring."

"Not once." She leaned down and pulled her messenger bag closer to her on the ground. After opening her wallet she showed Carlo a baby picture of Paine. "She's nine months in this…" She smiled and all of a sudden frowned. "It's funny isn't it? How short nine months in comparison to twenty one years can seem?"

"She's cute, looks just like you."

"She has her father's eyes, his little ears."

"She has your smile."

Keira smiled down at the wrinkled picture, it had seen the best of days and the worst of days, "She's a student at NLU."

"Got your brains too, huh?"

Keira thought on it for a long moment. "Maybe…"

##

Rikku peered into the clear broth on the stove. "Ruf silr?... Zicd y meddma? Y meddma mega y behlr?... Cyka haqd...srs...E zicd fyhd ed du lusa uid nekrd Knyhtsy...Hu...vun, ir, y vneaht uv seha fru ec lusehk ujan du ayd ed..." She rolled her eyes. "Ed'c y cra Knyhtsy."

Not like that changed things.

Rikku was making dinner for her and Paine, A classic Bikanel meal that could be served chilled or served hot. Seared fish in a broth of its own cooking liquids and dumplings. She would send Gippal a picture just to mess with him. She didn't appreciate the text of steamed cactar pudding she a got a few days ago. They looked so damn tasty!

"Famm oui ghuf oui lyh gaab y syh uh drec saym."

Rikku sighed. "E's rybbo yht eh clruum, Knyhtsy." She turned down the fire on the broth and pressed her cell phone between her shoulder and her cheek as she wiped her hands off. "Paine naymmo megac Al Bhed vuut duu, cra fyc bnaddo silr nyecat po cusa umt Al Bhed fusyh, cra fyc mega y knyhtsudran vekina du ran. Dryd'c so vneahtc hysa, Paine..."

"Paine? Dra uha oui fuimt ku yht cbayg du ymm xieadmo? E ycgat ouin luiceh ypuid ran, cra teth'd cyo silr."

Rikku's cheeks colored. "Oui mecdahehk eh uh so bruha lymmc Knyhtsy?"

Milana chuckled. "Hu, pid oui zicd luhvensat cusadrehk du sa. Damm sa, Rikku Milan, ec Byeha zicd luta vun y ouihk syhc hysa?"

Rikku peered into the pot again. "E ryja y jano kuut vneaht hysat Paine, cra'c y cra, dnicd sa. Huf ypuid drec pnudr, natila ed tufh?"

Sensing that she no longer wanted to talk about it, Milana let it go. "Oac oac, natila ed tufh cmufmo, ytt dra tisbmehkc yht cessan demm oui yna nayto du ayd."

Rikku nodded and then heard a beep on her phone. "E ryja yhudran lymm, emm mad oui ghuf ruf drec lusac uid Knyhtsy, tu oui nasaspan ruf du lralg ouin daqdc?"

"Oac, E ys hud dryd umt, pid E fuimt silr nydran oui lymm sa cu E lyh rayn ouin cfaad juela.."

Rikku chuckled. "E muja ouuuii."

"E muja oui, Rikku Milan. Caht so muja."

"IE femm, poa poa." When her grandmother hung up Rikku clicked over her calls. "Oac?"

"Should I come over? I'm leaving work now."

Rikku smiled. Just her voice alone did that. "You know you are domesticating me? Food is just about finished."

Paine chuckled. "Was my plan."

"Oh yeah?"

"I bet you look real good in a kitchen…folding clothes, cleaning." They both shared a laugh.

"Well it sounds like you had a good day, pypo."

"Eh, I'm just excited to see you."

"Aww."

"Alright alright."

"Are you on your way home?"

"Yup."

"Okay, Little Puppy and I are waiting."

"Alright I'll see you soon, babe." Paine hung up her cell and turned onto the road that would take her to Rikku's house. It was only a few moments later that she nodded to herself and then smiled a little. "Home..."

##

Gippal answered the door shirtless. "Yeah yeah, what the fuck yuh want?" He furrowed his brows when he looked at his best friend. "Dude, you need a haircut."

Keira self consciously put a hand to her hair. "Do I?"

Gippal squinted. "Yeah…." Something just seemed so off about Paine. "What are you doing here anyway? Thought you were too busy eatin' Cid's girl's…dinner." He chuckled at his own almost joke.

Keira furrowed her brows. "Cid's girl?"

"Princess." Keira shook her head no. "Yuh girl?"

"Are you high?" Gippal laughed which confirmed Keira's suspicions. "Look, I have no idea who these people are; I would just like to speak to Paine Kerrigan, does she live here?"

Gippal stepped aside. "No fucking idea why you're asking me to enter your own house."

"I don't live here."

"Not since you been getting some. Never seen a chick so pussy whipped. And my best pal no less. Fuck." Gippal shook his head in disappointment. "Y'know if you had a dick people would make fun of you…"

"Is there anyone who isn't—Naked?" Nooj had just come to the door holding a bottle of organic beer in his hand and that was it.

Nooj grinned. He seemed to be high as well. "Who's the Dr. P look alike?"

Gippal shook his head. "Dude that is Dr. P."

Nooj squinted. "No way man. Dr. P is taller."

Keira sighed heavily.

##

They hugged. It was an innocent sort of thing that brought them both back to a time when that was all they could do.

"I missed you."

Paine smiled a little "You won't when we're back in classes."

"Are you kidding? I'll miss you more." She slacked the grip on Paine and soon stepped away to let her take off her winter coat and shoes. "I'll have to actually pay attention to something."

Paine nodded and then was caught off guard by the intoxicating aroma of food from the kitchen. Rikku chuckled to herself as her girlfriend just walked off in search of the source, nose slightly upturned and everything. "What did you make?"

Rikku followed her into the kitchen and shooed her away from the pot. "Go and shower, you smell like gym lobby."

Paine pretended to be offended, before reaching for the pot lid again. "Can I have a dumpling first?"

Rikku laughed. "No."

Paine groaned. "You know what I had for lunch today?"

"Nothing?"

"Nothing, that's absolutely correct."

"Well I don't feel sorry you, know why?" She actually pushed Paine away from the stove. "Get outta there, my goodness."

Paine sighed "Why don't you sorry for me?"

"Because I know you drank way too much coffee all day cause you guys get it for free, and I also know that coffee curbs your appetite."

"Well I had to deal with stupid bitches all day—"

Rikku waved a pot spoon at her playfully. "Language!"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Was it wrong for Rikku to secretly love seeing Paine digress like this? Pouting and rolling her eyes in hopes of more attention. "Pypo come here." She called when Paine was leaving the kitchen. She turned to the pot and scooped out a small dumpling and some broth on the spoon. She brought it to her mouth and made a show of blowing on it before moving it to Paine's mouth for her to taste.

Paine closed her eyes and sighed as the savory broth hit her taste buds. The dumpling was just right, nice and soft and not undercooked or over cooked. Paine was pretty damn sure she could bathe in this stuff. It was just what she needed after a long day of listening to everyone else's complaints and walking the campus in the snow in search of equipment for the intramural sports teams.

Rikku giggled. "Good?"

"So good." Paine pecked Rikku's lips and turned to leave the kitchen. "I'll be back."

"Mhm." Rikku nodded in satisfaction. This recipe was a keeper.

Paine showered and changed into some sweats and a black tank top. She found Rikku in the den clutching a couch pillow for dear life and staring at the TV screen. She looked from the wide eyed blonde to the flat screen and then back again. "Babe…"

Rikku jumped about three feet in the air. "What the helium, Pai!"

Paine chuckled and plopped herself down beside her. "That's a new one."

Rikku glared at her. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry." She said sincerely and motioned to the TV. "What are you watching?"

Rikku shook her head and went back to looking at the TV. "Something scary."

"I thought you said you don't like scary movies."

"I don't."

"Okay well why are watching it?"

"I was waiting for you, you were taking too long…" Paine grabbed the remote and changed the channel. "Hey!"

"You're gonna be scared and up all night, c'mon." Paine stood and put her hand out for Rikku. "Let's eat." Rikku reluctantly agreed and they went into the kitchen. "Is your dad home?"

Rikku shook her head as she reached into the cupboard near the sink for two deep bowls. "He's off doing things with Dragon lady."

Paine pulled out two soup spoons, she only knew they were soup spoons because Gippal insisted on using them at the apartment. "I thought you two kissed and made up?"

Rikku turned the low fire off the broth and took a bowl from Paine's hand. "Extra dumplings?" She chuckled when Paine nodded excitedly. " Eh, Old habits die hard y'know?" She made sure to ladle out enough broth and fish and the added an extra spoonful of dumplings. She paused and then scooped another ladle full of everything. Paine had been getting thinner."How are you feeling, by the way?"

Paine switched what was to be Rikku's soup bowl for her full one and moved to the breakfast nook. She waited till Rikku got her bowl and sat across from her. She rather liked having dinner with Rikku in such a casual way; it made her feel important to blonde, it made her have hope for her own life. Maybe their normalcy would spill into everything else, and the biggest problem Paine would have was deciding on whether or not he wanted extra dumplings or not. "I feel fine." Paine shrugged and dove her spoon into the bowl of hot liquid. She had just remembered that she hadn't eaten all day again.

"I know, because you're eating some good home made almost authentic Al Bhed food—"

"Almost authentic?" Paine laughed a little.

Rikku nodded before spooning a piece of fish. "This taste pretty good—"

"Amazing" Paine nodded with a mouthful of food.

Rikku laughed a little mid sentence. "But it's not Grandma's…I was on the phone with her while making this… mentioned you."

Paine slowed down her eating and reached for a napkin from the pronged stack sitting in between them. "Yeah?"

Rikku shrugged. "Yeah." She looked down to her broth and scooped out a piece of fennel.

Paine stopped eating all together. "Like mentioned mentioned?"

"Well no, not mentioned mentioned….should I have?"

"No! I mean….if you wanted to, I just don't think—"

"No?"

Paine sighed. "I mean that—"

"I have sex with you." She jabbed at Paine with her soup spoon.

A small blush came to Paine's already slightly pink cheeks. She blamed the hot soup. "Well your grandmother doesn't need to know that!"

"But I love you."

Paine shook her head. "Babe, I'm not saying I don't, why look like that?"

"Cause."

Paine rolled her eyes. "I just don't think that's something you tell your old grandmother over the phone." She went back to eating.

"Well since you seem so bothered by—" Paine groaned and Rikku chuckled. "I'll just tell her that we're really really _really_ close friends."

"I'm okay with being that for a little while… like till she dies."

"Paine Kerrigan take that back! That's my Knyhtsy you big meanie!"

Paine laughed. "Fine, I take it back."

Rikku gave her girlfriend a mixed look of sternness and amusement; it was incredibly Rikku that Paine caught herself smiling into her soup. "I don't know, there is all this man talk…"

Paine shrugged lightly. "Like what?"

"Are you cooking for one? Is Paine code for someone? She's a clever old lady, but I think she's just y'know… old. She probably has realized that Brother is not going to give her any great grand babies anytime soon, nor Yunie…" Paine appeared to be thoughtful for a second but said nothing. Rikku watched her eat and then remembered her initial question. "But enough about me, how are you feeling these days?"

"Um…" Paine put her spoon aside and looked up. "Headaches sometimes. Bad ones, usually at night. If I do that breathing that Martha taught me I'm usually okay."

"You just lie awake there?" Rikku fished out a dumpling. Paine nodded. "You don't wake me up?"

"For a headache?"

"You said they get really bad."

Paine shook her head. "Not wake you up bad, hell even if they were I wouldn't."

"Why not? I wake you up."

"If you had nightmares, that's different."

Rikku pouted. "Not really…"

"Are we fighting about why I don't wake you up in the middle of the night?" Paine asked just to be clear.

Rikku smiled a little and shook her head no. "So headaches…?"

"Sometimes I forget a meal."

"I know."

The room was quiet for a second and Paine felt this compelling need to make things okay. "But nothing else, no getting sick, no shivers…" She smirked a little then. "Well I do keep warm now a days."

The fact of the matter is was that they were having a lot of physical contact lately. If they didn't have sex they did what Rikku liked to call aggressive cuddling, which is exactly what you thought but sexier, or Paine would just hold her in this new way, their legs would be entangled and it was like spooning, but somehow more intimate. Or sometimes, very rarely because Rikku knew Paine liked to feel like the protector, but sometimes she would hold the taller woman. Rikku particularly liked when that happened because it made her feel a part of Paine. Like she had let her guard down all the way and she was letting herself be loved. This usually happened on days where things were taking a toll on Paine, she never said anything about it, but Rikku knew when she just wanted someone to hold her, and the only person she ever let that far in was Rikku. The blonde knew it and she loved her girlfriend that the more for realizing her feelings and asking for help with them in this nonverbal way.

The two finished eating supper around the same time and Paine pushed at Rikku so she could do the dishes since she cooked. "Oh my Yevon go away." Paine groaned as Rikku tutted about the kitchen.

Rikku stopped and looked at Paine. "Have you called your sister?"

Paine sighed. "Should I?"

Rikku shrugged. "To catch up maybe, talk about Viddy? Maybe…" She saw that Paine was turned off to the idea. "Well how do you expect to build a relationship if you never talk to her aside from asking for a napkin cause Viddy spit up?"

"Easily?"

"No, c'mon Paine."

"Look I'm dealing with a lot of heavy shit right now, I think she understands." Paine turned off the faucet and shook her hands dry over the sink. "I'll call her on my way to Joyce's tomorrow afternoon." She mumbled upon seeing Rikku's un-phased expression.

"I push because I know you really want to do these things." Rikku explained, she didn't want to come off controlling. Paine walked over to her after checking the sink one last time.

"I know."

Rikku rubbed the small of her back and smiled affectionately. "Full?"

Paine nodded. "I am, thank you, it was delicious."

Rikku nodded in her being welcome and then motioned to the den. "Do you want some tea and cake? I got some little ones from this Baaj bakery today with Yunie."

"Dessert too? Damn, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to do something."

Rikku chuckled and pushed Paine toward the den gently. "No, I just wanted to do something nice, it's been a rough month."

Paine let herself be pushed to the den, and reclined in the reclining chair and just sat in the quiet and closed her eyes. She could hear Rikku moving about the kitchen; setting up the tea kettle, getting dessert plates, stubbing her hand on something and giving a little yelp. "Why can't life be like this?" She asked when Rikku came from the kitchen with the cakes.

"Are you really sitting in the dark like a weirdo? Turn on a light or something." Rikku shook her head and placed the small plates down on the coffee table. Paine stood and searched for a light. "Why can't life be like what?"

Paine shrugged and sat down on the loveseat now and helped Rikku set the plates. "Like this, you and me y'know?" She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "They said I can't cut my hair…."

Rikku chuckled. "Who said?"

"Kenneth, the fashion firm guy, he said I can't cut it."

Rikku touched Paine's hair. "Well they probably are wondering how you would look with it long, your hair grows fast too."

"I know, I don't like it." Paine moved to tuck some new growth behind her ears.

"it curls a little… just a little here…" Rikku pulled the hair Paine just tucked away out. "…and here." She messed with Paine's bang a little. "It's cute like that. I think so at least."

"Makes me look like a little kid."

"Make's you look cute."

Paine shook her head. "I don't want to look cute."

"Well tough luck baby, you're a model now right?" Paine just rolled her eyes and Rikku let herself leave for the kitchen She returned a minute later with warmed tea cups and a matching tea pot. "What's really been on your mind?" She asked after sitting and pouring Paine and herself some tea.

"Everything." Paine picked up her tea cup. "But nothing y'know? I just feel weird."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing…"

"No, explain it to me Pai, how am I supposed to know what everything and nothing feels like for you?"

Paine took a second. "I'm a fucking aunt—"

"To the cutest little bundle of energy I have ever seen!"

Paine smiled a little. They had seen Vidina yesterday and the newborn seemed to be doing extremely well. He had Wakka's laugh but in baby version, and Lulu's spurts of just quiet, calm, and collectedness "Agreed, but goddammit Rikks, that's huge for me."

Rikku tilted her head. "You're kind of like Big Mack's aunt."

"I have to remember to pick her up from school tomorrow…" Paine said as an afterthought to the statement. "And there is that, I'm going over to see Joyce tomorrow afternoon to talk about moving."

"You're really going through with it?"

Paine nodded. "I have to move forward…I just want to give her a while to look for people to fill the space I'll leave, Wakka kind of left suddenly and she had to pick up some slack. He didn't mean to but I guess having a kid takes priority."

"Any places in mind?" Rikku asked before sipping on her tea.

"Few near the school, it's cheaper there, they'll like that I had graduated from NLU too… and then I have to graduate, find a job, oh and to top it all off I have a mother…I don't know." Paine stared down at the amber liquid in her tea cup. "I just, I kind of feel overwhelmed, but calm like.. I can't explain it. If I fuck up, I fuck up."

"You feel like getting into trouble?"

Paine chuckled sadly. "I do." She had almost forgotten about telling Rikku about her feelings of self sabotage. Sometimes they were just so great. Why did she deserve to succeed while everyone else she knew from little suffered? What made her so special? Nothing, and that's when the feeling of wanting to get back on everyone else's level just became too great, and she had predicted it many time before, she would relapse. It was a tricky thing dealing with this doubt, this fear of succeeding. By all odds she should have died two years ago. Paine supposed it stemmed from there. It wasn't fair that she got a second chance and so many others, who would have done great didn't. Undeserving, Paine felt undeserving. Not all the time, but a lot of the time that's how the spiral would begin. Getting to the bottom meant drugs, meant lying, meant trouble. She called it getting into trouble. She knew it was irrational, but it was almost innate, that was how Paine was made to be while growing up. She was the kid who wasn't bad, but lived in a juvenile facility, that alone set her apart from all of the kids there. She was just there for fun almost, not because she needed an attitude adjustment, not yet at least, but because all the other orphanages had no room.

It was almost funny at how something simple like capacity could alter and change someone's life completely.

Rikku had researched a lot about drug addiction when she first started really growing deep feelings for Paine. It wasn't just the chemical ties that made it hard, it was also emotional. Paine struggled daily, and she knew that must be tiring. She was good about keeping it to herself; that was just Paine. It was a weakness and her girlfriend hated a lot of things, but being weak, it seemed she loathed the most.

They both knew how dangerous that could be, and Paine was glad to have Rikku ground her a lot of the time. Sometimes she just needed the Al Bhed to make a joke that didn't make any sense whatsoever, or glance at her and smile before going back to what she was doing. A lot of the time that was all it took to plant her feet back on the ground or pull her from some ditch she was digging for herself.

"Well." Rikku put down her tea cup. "What are we going to do?"

Paine nodded. Instead of stressing about everything, her energy needed to be spent dealing with life. When you were high you were high, but life sober had its highs and lows, Paine was just getting used to the turbulence, "Drink tea and eat cake."

Rikku smiled and nodded. "So let's."

##

"You're thinking about it… stop thinking about it."

Rikku gripped Paine closer. "I was just wondering if they could climb houses…"

"Not this fucking mansion."

"So they could? They could climb?" Her green eyes darted up to the window above their heads.

"I'm just going to come out and say shut up…"

"I'm scared!"

"You're twenty one!"

Rikku propped herself up to look down at Paine in the dark. "Just because we grow up doesn't mean we don't fear things Paine Amelia."

"You watched like five minutes of this scary movie, and were fine—"

"Fifteen minutes and twenty three seconds."

"…." Paine just shook her head from where she lay on her back. "You're unbelievable."

Rikku plopped down onto the bed beside Paine and curled her body up. Paine moved to rub her back but Rikku wouldn't let her. "You don't get to be a meanie and sweet within the same minute! It's confusing!" Rikku buried her head near Paine's shoulder and half way under her pillow.

"Oh my Yevon." Paine loved her girlfriend… that was it, she loved her and putting up with her weirdness was just a little added bonus. A minute passed, she was tired and had work in the morning but… "I don't think they could climb…" Rikku popped her head up and looked at Paine in the dark. Paine turned her head to meet her stare. "I mean they're primarily slime right?" The blonde nodded. "Yeah I don't think they could climb…."

"Are you sure?"

Paine nodded. "Pretty sure." She seemed to calm down a little. "You okay now?" she nodded. "I don't see why you are scared with me around, Princess." Paine added as she put her arm about Rikku's midsection under the covers.

"Will you just like… talk to me?"

Paine nodded. "Okay….I think I upset Tidus today."

"How?"

"Well I kind of was a bitch to him and said something about him and Yuna not being okay..."

"Paine!"

"I know, I just wanted to shut him up."

"You have to say sorry."

"What? No, I fuck with him all the time."

"Yeah but they really are going through something…."

"You think they might break up?"

"Possibly."

Paine fell quiet for a moment. "Maybe I'll just bring him coffee or something."

"Do you wanna visit Viddy tomorrow?"

"You're going to see him?"

"Maybe, I have to talk to Lulu, and I'll be down that way anyway."

"Why?"

"I left the lids to a couple paints open and they dried…"

"You were painting today?" Paine felt Rikku nod. "How was it?"

"How was it?"

"Yeah."

"It was…." Rikku drummed her fingers on her upper thigh in thought for the right word. "Difficult."

"Difficult…. Not fun?"

"Fun?" She shook her head. "No way."

"No way?"

"Do you smile when you're fighting? Dose Wakka when he gets ready for a game?"

Paine shrugged. Rikku always had this way of looking at everything. It was painfully simple. "I guess not."

"I mean it's…liberating, and…moving for me but …mmm I would really be spreading it thin it say fun."

"So why do you do it?"

"Because."

"Just because?"

"Pai."

"What? I'm really curious."

"Because it fills me in a way that no thing can…because I feel distant in the best way possible when I'm alone up there….I can't mess up, I can't fail at something so honest….y'know?" She turned to look at Paine. "Passions aren't fun; they're a whole mix of things… that's why they are called passions."

"Sometimes…" Paine moved closer to her and better wrapped her arm over Rikku. "Sometimes when you talk like that I feel like I'm just brushing the surface of you. You know that?"

Rikku smiled. "You like that?"

Paine leaned closer. "I do."

She giggled after accepting the small kiss. "That turn you on?"

Paine chuckled and kissed her again. "It does."

Rikku cleared her throat and deepened her voice. "Art is nothing but a vice of life…."

Paine couldn't help but kiss her again while laughing. "What the fuck is that voice?"

Rikku squinted playfully."That's my artsy voice."

"Oh yeah?"

Rikku nodded. "You like it?" She asked hopefully.

"No." Paine grinned. "I like your squeaky voice a whole lot better."

"Hey!"

##

"Who was that?" Paine asked as she eyed the little boy waving goodbye to Mackenzie as she got into the back seat of Paine's two door.

Mackenzie struggle with taking her back pack off and buckling her seatbelt while still wearing her puffy purple winter coat. "That's Randy."

Paine made a face. "Randy…" She didn't like him. He seemed too sad that Mackenzie was finally going home. Something kicked in that she couldn't quite explain. "Are you two friends? Where's Jade?"

"Jade's mommy came to pick her up early; she said that she was going to a tooth man today."

"Tooth man?" Paine glanced at her in the back to make sure she was buckled in. "A dentist?"

"Dent…dentiss…."

"Dentist."

"Okay."

Paine chuckled. "Is that one of your words?"

"No…"

"It should be."

"How do you spell it?"

"D.E.N.T.I.S.T."

"Paine?"

"Mhm?"

"Will you help me with my workbooks? Moma dose but sometimes she just gets fustered…."

"Flustered?"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

Paine checked the time and then glanced back at Big Mack. She hadn't seen much of her lately. She didn't like that at all. "Of course." Rikku would just go see Vidina alone this time. That would be okay. "So do you like Randy?"

"Ew he's a boy." That made Paine chuckle. She herself never quite grew out of that phase.

##

"This?" Paine asked as she moved about Joyce's kitchen as if it were her own. It technically had been for a month and some days after returning from the hospital. She couldn't go back to living where she was living, and Joyce had taken a liking to her. So she slept on the couch until the room upstairs in the second apartment with Nooj and Elma opened up. Paine motioned to a thin grammar text book that was obviously one of Mackenzie's.

"That's the one. She has a few pages to do." Joyce was already dressed in scrubs getting ready to go into work. "If I had known you were staying longer I would have cooked you something, look at you all thin. That girl of yours is Al Bhed right? They don't eat a lot of meat do they?"

Paine blushed a little. "Not a lot, Bikanel is kinda too hot for meat all the time." Joyce shook her head at the notion. "Its okay though I'm not really hungry."

"I'll leave some money for a chicken… the rotisserie kind, you can take Mackenzie along to get it, she likes the meat market." Paine tried to insist that it was necessary, she had the money, but Joyce wouldn't hear any of it. "Nonsense."

Paine sighed and thanked her before following her to the door of the small apartment. "Um… so is she okay in school?" Paine lowered her voice so the little girl watching cartoons a few feet away on the floor wouldn't hear.

Joyce sighed. "I don't know if it's just me as a mother, but I don't know about middle school…"

"Yeah, I mean the course work will get harder, I just don't want her to be put in slow classes with all the bad kids, she's a smart kid."

"I've been looking into private schools."

Paine read her tone. "The money?"

"Well you know how it is, Paine."

"Well… maybe we can write a letter, get some scholarships? That's the only way I can afford to go to school now."

Joyce smiled before tucking her coat closer to her over her scrubs. "You and your little sister behave."

Paine was caught between frowning and laughing. Joyce always joked that they were meant to know each other, that she was meant to be her nurse and Paine meant to be so close to Mackenzie. That only solidified when Paine took a bullet for the little girl. "Alright, have fun saving lives."

"I'll try." The older stout woman left the hall and then the winter cold. Paine turned to the living room and sighed. "Tom and Jerry?" She asked as she plopped down on the ground beside Mackenzie.

The little girl pulled on one of her braids. "Paine?"

"Yup?"

"Is it like going to a regular doctor?"

"What?"

"A dentist." She emphasized the T.

Paine smiled. "Jade's fine."

"She's my best friend."

"I know."

"Uncle Gippal said we're like peas in a pod…So I checked when momma made peas the other night and there were way more than just two…Who are the other peas?" Paine only laughed and smiled at her innocence.

##

"Slow down!" Paine called as Big Mack went running. "So she was here?" She still couldn't believe it.

Gippal had a cigarette hanging at his lip as he, Paine and Mackenzie walked to the meat market to pick that chicken. "How many times do I have to say it? Do you not check yuh fucking messages?"

"I just can't believe it…"

"Imagine how Nooj and I felt? We were high as shit and thought it was you. I'll tell you one thing, bitch must run in the family or something, this lady wasn't taking any of our crap."

"What in the hell, Gip? You had Rikku's number, you should have called her to tell me!"

"I just said I was high… what part of that do you not understand?"

Paine put a hand to her face. "Fuck me, she prolly thinks I'm a…" Paine stopped herself and glanced at Gippal. He shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

They were walking down Flatbush Avenue one of the busier main roads of the lower east side. It was around five in the evening and they had bundled Mackenzie up and brought her along. Paine decided to grab Gippal for the walk. It was wet outside, the snow from a few nights before was diluted with the fortnights rain, it's created this grimy street slurry that everyone around here called mash.

Mackenzie was currently a few steps ahead of the two using her snow boats to stomp in the mash and watch the excess slurry fly all over the place.

"Yeah well, she thinks what she thinks." Gippal looked away.

Paine sighed. "So what did she say?"

"She said to call her when you had a chance…. You really gonna do it?" He saw the look on Paine's face. "Why?"

"You know your mother…."

"She's a fucking head case."

"Yeah but you know her, alright?" Paine rubbed her left cheek a little. "I just want to know…y'know?"

He nodded. "I can understand that… what about the old man?"

"I pretty much told him to fuck off."

"Yeah at the hospital, you told me."

"I mean I just… she's trying, It doesn't mean I like her more or anything but she's trying, he just y'know… he's been here for this whole time and not once tried so I take that as him washing his hands…."

"Can't believe you and jugs are related…."

Paine chuckled. "She does have a nice….ew."

"What?"

Paine's face twisted. "She's my sister."

Gippal began to howl with laughter.

##

Paine's stomach was in all sorts of knots as she heard the dial tone signal for the second time.

She was on the roof of her apartment building with her cell phone to her ear, Gippal to her left rolling a spiff, and the night time cityscape of downtown New Luca in eyesight. She took a breath when the third dial tone sounded. She glanced at Gippal hoping he would just hurry up and roll the damn thing so they could smoke.

"Hello?"

Paine froze. "…Uh."

Keira furrowed her brows and checked the number again. She didn't recognize it. "…Hello?"

"It's Paine." Paine blurted out so awkwardly that even Gippal paused and raised an eyebrow. Paine glanced at him and he nodded encouragingly. "It's Paine." She said a lot slower this time. "Is this—?"

"Keira… you can call me Keira." Keira steadied her arm at the back of a chair and sat down slowly as if wounded.

"Keira." Paine tried it out. Her talk with Lulu today on her way to pick up Big Mack went well for the five minutes that it lasted. Her older half sister encouraged her to follow whatever her gut was feeling, that and a text from Rikku earlier in the day, and Gippal standing silently beside her now was what Paine really needed to go through with the phone call. "My um, well my buddy Gippal said you came by yesterday…" Paine reached to her hair and pulled lightly on a straying piece that hadn't been touched by product.

"Right, Gippal." Keira nodded remembering the odd blonde one. "A um, a friend of mine said you came by the theatre and I wasn't about…I'm sorry I missed you."

That sorry was very heavily loaded, it was so heavy that it seemed to weigh the sentence down. Paine rubbed the back of her neck. She sounded a lot different than Paine had grown up expecting. She had a hint of a proper accent, the kind that Braska had. It was Bevellian. "That's cool…um."

"I would really like a chance…. A chance to sit down and speak with you, Paine Amelia."

Paine let out a breath of realization. This woman had named her. "Yeah."

"I um… I have a lot to explain, and I would like to do it right…No more going through anyone. I… you must have a lot to ask me."

Paine tried to shrug. "Not really." She lied.

"Oh…well, I have a lot to ask you. If that is alright?"

"Okay."

"Where would you like to meet?"

"Anywhere is fine, I just have a thing tomorrow at 11 so…"

"Oh, tomorrow?" That was so soon.

"Is that… is that okay?"

"Yes, yes certainly." They made plans to meet on mutual territory tomorrow evening and then hung up.

"Well?" Gippal asked passing Paine the joint.

##

"Let me just check on Big Mack." Paine whispered into her phone as she pushed the door open to her own bedroom. Mackenzie was a small lump on her bed wrapped up in her sheets sleeping soundly. The little girl didn't want to sleep downstairs even though Paine said she would stay with her. Joyce had been called to do another shift and it was extra money so Paine told her she didn't mind watching Mackenzie and getting her off to school in the morning.

Paine was about to crack the door a little and go back to talking to her girlfriend when Mackenzie poked her head out. "Paine?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah?" Paine walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "What's goin' on you can't sleep?"

Mackenzie's big brown eyes blinked a couple of times and she played with the sheet she was sleeping with. "I just woke up."

"Did I wake you up?"

"No."

Paine tilted her head. "So what's goin' on?"

"I thought…I thought I hweard a gun."

Paine frowned. "Yeah?" Mackenzie nodded. "You remember huh?"

"Well yeah, I mean you were bleedy and stuffs, Momma say's an angel helped me…but I know it was you." Just then a car screeched by and Mackenzie gripped onto the bedspread and then glanced at Paine to see if she noticed.

Paine placed her cell phone down and stepped over to the window in her room that was cracked and closed it. She adjusted the heater so little Mackenzie wouldn't sweat to death and then she walked back to the bed and kneeled down at the side. "The unknown is a lot scarier than the known…"

"The unknown?"

"Mhm, it's what you don't know."

"Well I don't know everything Paine."

Paine smiled a little. "I know…that you don't know." Big Mack chuckled a little. "As long as you are good and eat your vegetables and listen to Joyc— Momma, no mean bullets will ever get you."

Mackenzie moved around under the covers. Paine could see that she was still scared. "Okay."

"And as long as I'm around you'll be safer than safe."

"You're not an angel, you're jus Paine."

Paine chuckled. "But I can be a guardian can't I? Like in old Spira? I can fight off all the scary stuff so you can make it where ever you have to go."

"My Guardian?" Her eyes were wide and sleepy, that's how Paine knew she had her.

She nodded. "If you'll let me."

Mackenzie nodded. "Oh yeah, no one in school has a Guardian. They jus have mommies and daddies."

"And I'm way cooler than Mommies and Daddies."

"You have cooler hair."

Paine ran a hand through her hair with a good hearted laugh. "Well thank you Big Mack."

"Bu…But how will you know if I'm in troubles?"

"I'll just know, that's a Guardians job."

Mackenzie lied back down on the bed. "You'll just know?"

Paine stood and tucked her in a little more. "Yeah, I'll just know."

She yawned. "Okay."

"So don't be afraid okay?"

Mackenzie closed her eyes and nodded along Paine's pillow. "Okay."

"Alright."

"Sleep time?"

"Mhm." Paine nodded and made sure the little nightlight she had taken from Mackenzie's room was plugged in right. "Night Big Mack."

"Night Paine."

Paine closed the door just so the smallest ray of light from the hallway would be let in. She pulled her phone to her ear. "Rikks?"

"I love you."

"Huh?"

"I just…I love you." She had heard the whole thing.

Paine shrugged a little. "I love you too…?"

"Vidina missed his aunty today. He saw me and got all excited, and I thought aw he really likes me! But then I realized he was looking around for you."

"Yeah? What's he up to?" Paine stepped down into the living room. Gippal had an early farmers market run to make for LapPig, so he was already in bed. Paine had no clue where Nooj was and Elma had arrived and went straight to her room while Gippal was smoking and Paine was with him on the roof. She had set up a little bed on their lumpy old couch and was planning on passing out as soon as she and Rikku got off the phone.

It had been quite the day indeed and tomorrow only proved to be as busy.

"Oh he pooped and I changed his diaper, that makes it aunty Rikku two, aunty Paine zero."

Paine chuckled as she turned off the light to the living room and sat back down on the couch. "Yeah well knock yourself out."

"C'mon you gotta get practice sometime."

"Practice for what?"

"For when we have babies."

"When did this get decided?"

"Just now."

"Can't I just buy you a pet or something?"

"That will only work for so long."

Paine laughed and rubbed at her forehead. "You're giving me a headache."

Rikku laughed. "We'll revisit this later."

"Fuck, let's, with the day I had the last thing I need to be talking about is having babies with the same first and last name."

"Bayla Bayla." Rikku laughed. "You just became an aunty, a daughter, a sister, and a guardian…I think mommy can wait."

"Thank you." Pain laughed a little herself.

"So I'm being awfully patient."

Paine smiled. "I know."

"Are you going to tell me how it went or what?"

"We're meeting tomorrow at that coffee place downtown."

"Beanie Baby?"

"Yeah there."

"Wow…how are you feeling?"

"I feel…strange… I know I'm nervous, maybe even scared… but I want to know…I need to."

"I can understand that."

"So what does your schedule look like so I can know when to call you?"

"Um… I get up, go to the gym, come back, get Big Mack ready, get ready myself, drop her at school, head to work...I think I'll just take the train tomorrow too, I don't have gas money right now…Um, buy Tidus a coffee, work work work, I get off at around four. Meet Keira…. Her name is Keira…she has a little accent too."

"Does she? It doesn't show in her singing."

"I think its Bevellian."

"You're so calm."

"What else can I be right now?"

"Mmm sleepy?"

"Well I am that too."

"I should let you go."

"Wait..."

"What?"

"How are you feeling?"

Rikku sighed a little. "Better that I got to paint yesterday and just….I don't know, the same. I haven't really had time to process what we talked about…I'm also on my period so…"

"Ouch."

"Mhm, so I'm gonna cuddle with my heating pad tonight and do some stuff tomorrow."

"Like what?"

"School stuff, I'll be on campus for an hour max, you'll prolly be busy though."

"Stop by before you leave, maybe I can take my lunch break."

"You sure?"

"Well you know I love seeing you…Plus I'm pretty sure I'll get a free lunch out of it."

"There's no such thing as a free lunch, my dear."

"I don't mind owing you a favor or two."

Rikku giggled. "Now I know you're getting sleepy."

Paine smiled and rubbed at her face. "Night baby."

"Nighty night Pai. I love you."

"I love you too."

**AN: Cute little chappy, Reviewwwww!**

**KathleenDee **


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter Forty Three**

Paine opened the kitchen drawer and pulled out a small spoon. "Here, eat."

Despite their levels of respect for one another, Mackenzie was still nine years old, and like many nine year olds, getting up at six in the morning to go to school was not high on her list of priorities.

Mackenzie was sitting up on one of the bar stools on the middle counter. She was leaning on her elbow and staring down at the porridge in front of her. She looked up at Paine pleadingly. "I can jus go wit you?" She whined.

Paine shook her head no. "You have to go to school, Mackenzie."

Big Mack sniffled and gave probably the best performance ever. Rikku would be proud. Her big brown eyes glistened and her bottom lip was pushed out. Paine actually wondered what the little girl would do at the rec center gym. She shook her head at herself and proceeded to make her coffee.

"I don't wanna go…" Mackenzie rubbed at her eyes as she slipped on her big purple jacket.

"C'mon." Paine chuckled as she grabbed her keys to the apartment. "Where's your backpack.?"

"I don't know." The little girl whined. She begrudgingly put on her snow boots and sat on the ground for a minute.

"School is fun." Paine reminded as she scanned the room for her little pink bag.

"School is for babies…"

"And what are you?"

Mackenzie pressed her hands to the apartment carpet. "I'm not a baby!"

Paine found her bag and motioned for her to get up. Mackenzie stood. "Well then let's go, big kids go to school every day."

"Well I'm not a big kid neither."

Paine chuckled and closed the door and locked it behind them.

"Paine?"

"Yeah?" Paine asked as they made it down to the street in front of their house.

"I gotta pee."

Paine sighed and turned right around.

##

Paine was deep in thought when she got the call from a happier Tidus that Rikku was here. She picked up the walkie talkie and held down the talking button. "Alright, I'll be right there."

"You forgot to say rodger!"

Paine groaned a little. "Rodger."

Rikku was leaned against the front desk chatting with Tidus. Her back was to where Paine was coming from.

Usually in these situations Paine took the time to appreciate the swell of her girlfriend's hips, her perfect ass, her long honey blonde hair, her cute little stance where she rocked on the balls of her feet and then balanced on one foot. But today was not usually. One didn't usually meet their mother for the first time. After dropping Mackenzie off at school the upcoming meeting had been on her mind all day. She couldn't even remember the code for her gym locker let alone do her job well. She had just been lying on a yoga mat in the dark of an unused studio. It was a good thing Simone wasn't around today. As Paine neared two thirds of the Blonde Bombshell club she tried to fix her face to one she thought seemed normal.

"…No way." Rikku exclaimed.

"YES!"

"Oh man, we have to do an in-law date and totally go see that together."

Tidus laughed. "Cousins in-law?"

Rikku nodded. "For when you and Yunie stop all this nonsense and tie the knot."

"Hey." Paine said once she reached the two. She reached an arm around the small of Rikku's back as sort of a hug greeting.

Rikku smiled and looked to her left at Paine. "Hey Pypo, so how about that not free lunch?" She leaned into her before Paine moved her arm back to her side.

"Yeah, hey so I'm leaving for lunch, I should be back soon." Paine nodded to Tidus who gave her a thumbs up. "Ready?" Paine asked as she looked back at Rikku.

Rikku nodded. "Let's go to Donte's, that's the only place I know that will let me put chocolate on my pizza." Paine made a face but then agreed when Rikku gave her that. "You know that I'm bleeding, right?" Look.

"So." Rikku took Paine's hand in hers as they began to walk off campus. "You're real quiet today, I know why but I'm just wondering if you want to talk about it."

"Mmm." Paine shrugged, "I'm just nervous."

Rikku gripped her hand and smiled at Paine. "It'll be alright Pypo."

"I just…I don't know what to say to her."

"What happened to that list you made at Christmas?"

"I burned it."

Rikku did a small double take and actually chuckled a little. She let go of Paine's hand and used the same arm to wrap around her waist. "So buun Pypo."

"We don't need to talk about it; we can just have lunch y'know?"

"Alright." Rikku nodded. "So you and Tidus are friends again?"

"I brought him the girliest coffee and he loved it."

Rikku laughed a little. "He still seems down. I'll have to see what Yunie is up to today… or I'll just go home and sleep." Rikku looked off down the street.

"You're hurtin'?" Paine asked. The blonde nodded. "Well you didn't have to come out here y'know. You could have just called me while I was on lunch."

"I wanted to see my girlfriend."

Paine smiled a little to herself. They had been dating for about a week over six months and she still loved hearing the title. "I'd understand." Rikku waved her off as they continued down the block.

They took their usual booth at the tiny eat in but preferable order out pizzeria near campus. Paine admired the clean glass window they were sitting up against that exposed the white city. She wasn't even aware that Rikku had left the table until she returned with two sodas in glasses with straws and a greasy bag of garlic knots. "I ordered a pie." She announced as she sat down and pulled an unnecessary amount of napkins out of the dispenser. "Half cheese for m'lady and half bacon, pepperoni, onions, peppers, mushrooms, basil, tomato, extra cheese, and little itsy bitsy chocolate chips." Rikku opened the greasy paper bag and grabbed a garlic knot and popped the whole thing in her mouth. "Oh and garlic knots, I got them too, gawd I'm so freaking hungry like I didn't even realize I was this hungry and…" She tilted her head and finished chewing her food before blinking again. "Pai." she got no response from Paine who was now looking at her with an all too familiar thoughtfulness about her.

"Huh?" Rikku dabbed a napkin at the corner of her mouth, it made Paine smile a little. "You hold your napkin like a Princess too."

"Did you even hear anything I just said?"

Paine just then noticed her cherry cola and reached for it. "Uh, no, sorry babe, what were you saying?"

"Can't be as interesting at what you were thinking."

Paine shrugged. "Nothing…" she shook her head. "I don't wanna talk about it remember?"

Rikku nodded. "Well are you going to at least pretend to like me?"

Paine chuckled. "I remember coming here with you that first Monday… Do you remember?"

Rikku's joking smile softened and one of fondness appeared. "Mhm, course."

"I used my last five to have lunch with you that day." Paine took a sip of her soda.

Rikku leaned on her hand and smiled. "What else?"

Paine cracked a small laugh. "You were real cute that day, but weird…I thought you were a little weird. Jelly beans on the pizza…no yellow ones."

Rikku laughed. "I remember thinking you were beautiful."

"Get the fuck outta here."

"I'm serious!"

Paine shook her head. "Psh."

"I mean it, I was totally checking you out in a very innocent way…I…liked looking at you, and sitting and having lunch with you. I didn't even know you."

Paine smiled. "You were trying to guess my major…"

The blonde nodded. "So…I was just cute?"

Paine laughed and to Rikku's surprise actually blushed. "You were gorgeous in your little scarf and shorts."

It was Rikku's turn to blush now. "You were checkin' me out huh?"

Paine shrugged and hid her pink cheeks behind her glass of cola. "Only in the most innocent of ways."

They both laughed. "Y'know I knew." Rikku said after her laughter died down.

"You knew what, Princess?"

"I knew that we'd be something."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Romantically?"

Rikku took a sip of her soda. "No, I mean… I don't know."

"You just said you did."

Rikku laughed a little. "I meant I knew that you and I…well you just felt different to be around. I knew we'd be something…besties or somethin'."

Paine shook her head a little and Rikku had thought she dismissed it before she spoke a few minutes later. "I knew too."

Rikku reached for Paine's hand and took it just as Donate himself came out with the extra large pie. Paine raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged, and then at Rikku who was too busy making a bib out of napkins for herself. "Rikku, what the fuck?"

"Listen, when you ate an entire bag of chips and a thing of salsa I didn't say anything."

"You know _hint of lime_ is my favorite…." Paine was trying to determine what the hell was on Rikku's half of the pizza. "Someone shit on your side." She pointed.

Rikku rolled her eyes and passed Paine some napkins. "Those are chocolate chips! You…you purest."

Paine took the middle most slice from her half just so she didn't have any chance of cross contamination. "What?"

"Just plain cheese? Boring."

"Rather boring than shitty."

"They're chocolate chips!"

##

"I don't wanna go." Wakka pouted as he looked down at the little bundle wrapped up in his new blue and white blitzball pajamas.

Lulu pushed him lightly. "I promise you he will be in the same position when you return."

"But Lu!"

Vidina stirred.

Lulu chuckled as Wakka caught himself, and returned to a whisper. "I'm gonna miss the little guy. He's gonna wake up and I'm not gonna be here."

"Wakka." Lulu just shook her head. "Do you want him to starve?" She hated going there but she had to go there.

"No." Wakka sighed and then lightly ruffled Vidina's wild red hair. He chuckled. "See you later peach fuzz. Daddy loves you." He leaned down and kissed his head and then sighed again.

Lulu smiled and accepted her small peck next. "I will see you at dinner, have a nice day."

"Are you sure about dem textbooks Lu? I can just wait to see what happens with the classes."

Lulu shook her head as she walked with him to the door. "What nonsense are you speaking? I graduated, you're graduating, buy the books after work."

"It's just a lot of money y'know?"

"I know, we'll manage."

Wakka nodded and kissed her one more time. "I love you."

Lulu's hand grazed his face as he moved away. "I love you too."

The morning had been rather quiet. Vidina didn't get a good night's sleep before so it seemed he was making up for it now. Lulu cleaned up and did another load of baby laundry before she got a call.

"Hello?"

"Lulu."

Lulu glanced at Vidina in his little bundle; he had just kicked his little leg out from underneath the cover. She walked over and tucked it back in. Vidina gave the cutest baby sigh as if to say. "Fine Mom, I'll stay under the covers." Lulu smiled at his little face, his eyes still closed but she knew he was awake now.

"Lulu?"

Lulu frowned. "Pa."

"How is he?"

"Wakka?"

"No, my grandson, you not letting us see him, it hurts you know."

"You not acknowledging what's happening hurts me, you're daughter. So I would appreciate it if we skipped the pleasantries."

"Your mother and I would like to have the three of you over for dinner."

"Why couldn't she call me to tell me that? Why send you? And why not invite Paine, she is your daughter right? From when you cheated on Mom." Paul was quiet. "Nothing to say now?'

"Paine is something that I would rather not talk about yet, you and I can sit down and…"

"No, I want to hear mother say what she needs to say. Keira isn't what you paint her to be."

"You spoke to her?"

"Several times, so your secrete is out."

"Lulu Moore you do not even know the half of it."

"Because you won't tell me more than you wish, I have to go, my son needs me." Vidina had finally opened his auburn eyes and was now waving his hands about and biting his lip with the teeth he didn't even have. Lulu hung up the phone and sighed. "What are you doin' little guy? You biting your lip at me? Hm?" Lulu moved to scoop him up. Vidina made a few baby yelps and patted at Lulu's chest lightly. Lulu laughed. "Hungry?"

##

Cid Bayla chuckled when he entered the den.

Rikku was lying on the reclining chair with a pizza box on the ground beside her and a very very tall glass of water. She was wearing one of Paine's white tank tops and her baby blue basketball shorts. The tank top was raised just to the start of her bra and a heating pad sat on her lower midsection. The TV was off and his daughter had an ice pack on her head.

"You laughing just makes me hate men even more…" The youngest Bayla grumbled.

Cid tried to hide his small smile. "You're mother used to get bad ones too." He sat on the couch and began to empty his pockets from being outside. Keys, wallet, etc…

"What do you know?" Rikku bit.

"Are okay Milan?"

"No…" Rikku sighed. "Because I'm dying."

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Is it possible to have surgery every month to just scrape all the—"

"I don't think so." Cid shook his head not even wanting to get to deep into the details.

"I'm wearing Paine's clothes…" She said as she pulled a pink jelly bean seemingly out of nowhere.

"I see that, why?"

"They're loose and comfy and they smell like her."

"Where is she?"

"Meeting her biological mother."

Cid raised an eyebrow. "Wow."

"I know….I'm nervous for her."

"Well that's huge. How do you think she will respond?"

"We got lunch today." Rikku motioned to the pizza box on the ground. "I just don't know, she doesn't want to talk which is bad because they are going to sit down and do just that. This lady doesn't even know Paine, her personality….What she's been through because she left her. I really just think that….owie." Rikku clutched the heating pad on her stomach and sighed. "She says she's not angry, but I know how she gets when she's away from something, and then when she's face to face with it."

"I see."

"Pop?"

"Milan."

"When I die don't let Brother anywhere near my stuff."

Cid chuckled. "Have you spoken with him?"

"No, he started training and stuff, I called grandma the other day for a recipe. She sounds good y'know?"

"Right rght."

"She asked about Paine."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"What did you say?"

"I said we are really really good friends." Cid nodded in understanding. "I feel guilty, but Paine doesn't even care." Rikku sighed softly. "I just wanna tell everyone that I'm in love… but I guess not everyone can handle that."

Cid was never quite sure on how conversations about Paine were supposed to go. It was clear that his daughter was in love. He was just worried that he would say something wrong. He didn't want to do that again. "I'm sure she—" Just then Rikku's phone began to go off.

"Hold on Pops…" Rikku checked the number and pressed ignore. "Ugh, go on."

"Who was that?"

"This guy."

Cid grew confused. "Are guys still in the picture?"

Rikku laughed and shook her head no. "I don't think so, I haven't told Paine yet but I…I don't know Pop, it's just that I felt like I've been lying.. I've never been as happy with someone as I am with her so… I don't think it's a matter of guys being in the picture, it's just like…No one else can compare kinda thing."

"That's how I felt about your mother…Juliann is different from her in so many ways that they could never really be compared to one another. That's how I know I love her, and I loved your mother."

Rikku laughed. "Yevon Pops, you gonna propose or not?"

"I've been considering it."

Rikku sat up fully from her lazy slouch and stared at him. "Really?" Cid nodded. "Since when?"

"Since this whole thing….with you and well—"

"Auron."

"Yeah." Cid shook his head, he could feel the heat from his anger rising within him. He shook it back with his head movement. "I know she's tired of just being a girlfriend. I want her around more than that anyway."

"She's not the kind of lady to do laundry Pop."

Cid laughed. "I know."

"Would she move in here?"

"I haven't even begun looking for the ring."

"Well what are you waiting for!?"

Cid chuckled again. "You, and Kirill, your opinions matter to me."

"Wow that's a first." Rikku sunk back into her seat and pulled another jelly bean from somewhere.

##

Keira nervously drummed her fingers upon the private both at Beanie Baby's in downtown New Luca. She checked her time and was about to call it a loss when someone finally sat across from her.

Paine had smoked a half pack of cigarettes before she finally had the courage to enter the coffee shop. Keira studied her appearance. She was wearing an Al Bhed beaded charm bracelet on her left arm, a black leather jacket, regular old blue jeans and a maroon beanie that hid her deep silver hair save for a few strands of a bang. She had never been this close to Paine Amelia, not since she was just a little thing; it took everything within her to stop from reaching out to touch her. There was something about this girl that told Keira she wasn't the touchy feely type.

Paine coughed; her lungs a little surprised at the intrusion that hadn't been there in at least a year. She rubbed at her eye and then cleared her throat. She wasn't nervous anymore, she stared right at Keira, she was wearing a deep red cowl neck sweater with long sleeves, and was clutching at a cup of black coffee. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun. To anyone else walking by the table they seemed to be close, sister or maybe even a mother daughter duo catching up midweek like they did every week.

"Would you like a coffee?" Keira asked, there was just something about Paine's stare, it reminded her so much of Paul's, though there was something else there. It was unnerving to say the least.

"No."

Keira nodded. "I'm glad you decided to show." Paine shrugged indifferently. "You seem upset." She read.

"Wouldn't you be?"

Keira nodded. "I never wanted to let you go, I never wanted to give you away, but.. I suppose there is no excuse—" Keira was cut off by Paine reaching a hand into her leather jacket pocket and pulling out a folded loose leaf paper. Paine placed it before her and waited until Keira reached for it before standing.

"I burned the last one."

Keira glanced between the folded paper, her coffee, and up at Paine. "Please, sit."

A larger part of Paine wanted to sit down, wanted to fix things, wanted to be better, but that part of her that would never leave, the miniscule part that would never quite heal right didn't believe in this. It didn't believe in second chances for a person that didn't even give her a first chance, it didn't believe in the structure of a family she had never known, it just didn't believe. Paine didn't want to sit and listen to this woman try and apologize for something that apologizes could not fix.

They stared at each other for a moment. It was in that second before leaving that Paine recognized herself in the older woman; her hair, her mouth, her eyes; though a different hue the same shape. She looked like someone and someone looked like her, and for all the young wishes and cries for this moment, Paine found herself feeling surprisingly uneasy.

She turned and Keira stood clutching the paper in her hand. "I didn't leave you because It was what I wanted to do, I…"

Paine continued walking.

Keira felt her heart sink as the coffee shop door opened and closed. "Paine…" She whispered before sinking back down into her booth and looking across from her at the once full seat. She wiped at her face lightly and willed herself to pull herself together enough to open the piece of paper.

It was a list entitled to _Her_. The handwriting neat and a direct product of getting into so much trouble as a young kid and being forced to copy out of the New Yevon scriptures. Keira studied the elegant loop of her I's and o's, the heavy hand on certain words that seemed to sting most. She glanced back up to where Paine had just left and then back at the list.

_I hate that I never had a childhood_

_I wish I could feel the things that would make me normal._

_I truly don't understand why you named me Paine._

_I think you're selfish…_

Keira bit back a small sob as she read on.

##

_**Two Weeks Later**_

Paine had no idea who started it, but she wasn't about to stop. She stretched back in her chair in the medium sized lecture hall and pulled out her cell phone that had buzzed signaling she had a new text from Rikku.

_**It's definitely possible Ms. Kerrigan ;) **_

Paine grinned a tight grin and looked up to appear as if she wasn't sending naughty text messages to her girlfriend.

Which she was

It was a cold February day, the kinds that kept everyone inside and close. Paine herself was wearing a turtle neck that Rikku made her buy at the beginning of winter; another one of those shopping trips that only resulted in them arguing over how cute something looked versus how much money it would cost.

Rikku had obviously won that argument.

Paine had to admit that it was well worth the 40 bucks. She'd never had a warmer piece of clothing in her life. It was awesome.

Paine ran a hand through her hair and sighed at its length, any longer and she'd need to tie it up or something. It was a good thing that her next fit in with The Lucan Modeling Agency was later this week. Hopefully they would hate it as much as Paine does and let her cut it off. Rikku had taken a liking to braiding it when she was bored, which only made Paine cranky. She loved when Rikku ran her hands through her hair, but her braiding it just felt wrong somehow, like they were twelve or something, Paine didn't like feeling twelve.

Paine bit her lip, her hair long forgotten and her next move well in place. She glanced up at the PowerPoint on muscle rejuvenation and decided that she would take notes later while Rikku was in her Architecture course.

She never texted her during that class

Two weeks into the spring semester and Paine still marveled at how Rikku's green spirally eyes would light up when she talked about the course. Usually two weeks in and the excitement of school wore off, especially with Rikku. The taller of the two was glad she found something that was so interesting. It was funny though, Paine had only been really attending NLU for two years, Rikku had been there for all four and it seemed like it was a completely new place to the blonde. She was no longer confined to the dreary halls of the law building.

Well at least not on Monday's Wednesday's and Friday's

_**I haven't touched you in days, so I suggest that you stop teasing.**_

_**Who's teasing?**_

_**You**_

_**You wanna touch me?**_

_**You know I do.**_

_**Where?**_

Paine could feel her cheeks heat up a little more as she typed her response. She sighed heavily as if to get her mind back to the front of the hall where her lecture had been going on for the past thirty minutes. She really needed to focus on class right now. This semester was going to be hard. It was her last ever and she needed to do well not just for herself, but for her plan.

Paine knew that one could never really plan for the future, but they could sure as hell try, and that's what she was doing. After Valentine 's Day she couldn't spend as much money on Rikku as she had been. Paine felt bad about the decision, she loved doing things for the blonde, and there was a certain pride in being able to buy her girlfriend whatever she wanted, but that wasn't the case right now. Maybe in a few years when she got that job…

Across the campus Rikku pouted at Paine not playing along anymore. "She's such a nerd." She mumbled knowing the exact reason why Paine hadn't responded yet and probably wouldn't until the end of the day. She admired that though, Paine was definitely the better influence when it came to school. Rikku was adjusting her side view mirrors in her car before heading off campus to have lunch over at Lulu and Wakka's with Vidina, Lulu, and Yuna. Then it was back to campus for Architecture Basics and Legal Framework five, then home for dinner with her father and uncle and then homework, and then bed. She and Paine hadn't spent time with each other since Monday morning, and it was Wednesday but they both knew they had to get stuff done.

Rikku nearly jumped three feet in the air when someone tapped on the side window of her car. She sighed and rolled it down when she saw his sad face. "Buddy."

"Can we talk?" He shrugged pathetically. "Please?"

Rikku sighed and checked the time. "Not now."

"Okay then, when?"

##

"Oui'na cu lida oui meddma tisbmehk oui." Rikku cooed as she rocked Vidina in her arms.

"Look at his face, he looks so confused." Yuna laughed lightly.

Rikku huffed. "His name is Al Bhed, he _will_ speak Al Bhed." She grinned back down at the little boy with her friend and girlfriend's eyes. "Ech'd dryd nekrd Vidina? Oui'mm pa cbaygehk fedr sa eh hu desa."

"How are things?" Lulu asked as she stepped into the living room with a tray with tea cups on it. She glanced at both girls in question.

"I'm okay I guess." Rikku shrugged as she let Vidina grip her thumb with his little palm. "I'm just trying to stay focused for this last semester."

"Pre Law?"

Rikku nodded. "Well it's not like I can exactly change it now. Might as well finish it and then…" She shrugged again and looked back down at Vidina. "Rao! Dryd'c so vehkan oui kud drana!" Vidina began to giggle.

Lulu and Yuna exchanged worried looks. "What about after?" Yuna asked as she reached for her cup of tea and then for the brown sugar crystals they brought back for Lulu and Wakka from Home

Rikku sighed. "Well I have to figure that out right?"

Yuna nodded and turned to her best friend. "I'm going to break up with Tidus."

"What!?" Both Rikku and Lulu asked in unison.

"What happened?" Lulu asked after getting over the shock.

Yuna rubbed at her knuckles and shrugged. "He got drafted to the Abes, he's leaving. What is the point?"

"Whoa, so you're not going with him?" Rikku asked, this was news to her, just the other day Yuna said that they were in a better place now.

Yuna looked away and it was then that both Lulu and Rikku saw just how torn her heart was. She loved two things, but she had to give up one in order to have the other.

Noticing this Lulu nodded. "Well then."

Rikku leaned forward and reached her free arm to Yuna's knee. "Can't you guys just y'know…try the long distance thing Yunie?"

"We could, but realistically." Yuan put her hands out. "I'm not ignorant to the fact that he will be getting a lot of attention, I care for him, I love him, but it feels like the wrong time to be in so deep."

Rikku frowned. "Why don't you just sit down and talk to him like this?"

"All he hears is how I don't want to go with him."

Lulu shook her head. "If he doesn't understand what you are trying to say…"

Rikku nodded a sad nod. "Communication Yunie, it's what you two will rely on when he leaves…which is?"

"The beginning of July."

"You don't want to break up." Lulu shook her head. "I can see it on your face."

"I don't but... we're all on a precipice. I can't and won't put myself through something that I know will just make things harder, I love him…but I don't think he understands me at all sometimes. If he did, he would realize how badly I want to stay and pursue what I love."

Rikku sighed. "If you're sure."

Yuna sighed. "I'm not, but my gut says it's the right thing to do."

"So." Lulu moved over to Rikku and picked Vidina out of her arms. "Let's talk about something else hm?"

"Your parents?" Rikku asked curiously.

Lulu let up a small laugh which caused Vidina to look at her abruptly. He began to smile and drool. "Yevon no, please let's not. I have too much to worry about."

"You have a little family now huh?" Yuna asked with a small smile. "It suits you, motherhood."

Lulu smiled a little. "Does it?"

Rikku nodded. "Oh yeah, he's a little dream, and Wakka is Wakka, and you're getting married!"

Lulu went over to Vidina's bundle and placed him in it. "Oh yes, I almost forgot."

"Lulu Alexandria D'Autry." Rikku tilted her head. "I kinda like that."

Yuna laughed a little. "You forgot?"

"Well having Viddy Mae has definitely distracted me from a lot. I have to call into work to let them know when I will be returning, I have to find a sitter, plan the wedding, make sure Wakka doesn't do something stupid…" Vidina began to fidget and Lulu cooed over him for a little while. "I know, sleeping is boring, but I promise you'll see that big goof later and the two of you can stay up and cry and eat and do whatever it is you do…" She turned to her friends. "You know I caught Wakka one night last week, he was reading Vidina blitz playbooks." They all laughed.

"So the wedding…." Yuna clasped her hands together.

##

"Yunie?" Rikku asked as she searched her jacket pockets for her car keys. They had made it back on campus and were about to part for the remainder of the day until dinner with their fathers.

Yuna looked up from gathering her things from her car right beside Rikku's. She tucked the brown scarf she was wearing around her neck better and reached for her bag. "Did you lock your keys inside again?"

Rikku quickly checked and then sighed in relief. "No no no, it's just that…" She shrugged and walked over to Yuna who was on the other side of her car. "How do you think Tidus will take the news?"

Yuna sighed. "I have no idea…I have no idea."

"Well when are you going to say something?" The two began walking toward the main quad on campus.

"I have no idea."

"Well I mean you have to have an idea!"

"You're freaking out."

"You're not."

Yuna sighed. "I have, and I will again when everything is all said and done, but I'm young, and he's young, and we both have the brightest of futures and I want what's best for him, but I also want what's best for me, and right now we can't do both…" Yuna shook her head. "The more I think about it the more I wonder how I thought I could keep him…." The brunette shook her head. "I'll see you at dinner tonight, okay? Don't forget to bring your sketch pad, I have some ideas but as you know we can't all be as talented as you are with a pencil."

Rikku offered her cousin a warm smile and watched her walk off in the direction of the fashion building; her solemn words occupying Rikku's mind for the rest of the day.

##

"Babe?"

Rikku looked up from her seat at Paine's desk a day later. They were trying to study at least a few hours before Gippal came home and made family dinner. Paine was wearing baggy forest green sweatpants and a white tank top. Rikku admired her toned arms before realizing Paine's face. "What's wrong honey?"

Paine walked over with the small distance with her mail in her hand. "Look." She handed over one single envelope and tossed the rest on her desk beside Rikku's work.

"I just organized this desk!"

Paine sighed and adjusted the stack of mail. Rikku put her pen down and reached for the envelope in her outstretched hand. She turned it right side up and tilted her head.

Paine ran a hand through her hair and sat on her bed where her mountain of school work sat. "What the fuck?"

"You haven't heard from her?"

Paine shook her head no. "Not since she tried to call…."

"A week ago?" Paine nodded. Rikku handed her the envelope. "Open it."

Paine weighed the thing in her hand. She shook her head no and placed it on her nightstand. Paine ran her hand through her hair again on more time; a sure sign to Rikku that she was frustrated. "I'm gonna wait…"

Rikku rocked backward in the wooden desk chair and examined her girlfriend as she began to rifle through her notes from class. "Till when?"

"Till Saturday morning."

Rikku nodded in understanding, that's when she had therapy with Martha. "Are you sure…what if it's a check?"

Paine laughed a little. "I'll take you out Saturday night if it is okay?"

Rikku watched Paine's features turn back to concentration and the room was quiet for ten minutes. Rikku liked to study with music on or some kind of noise in the background, Paine liked it quiet.

"Paine."

"….Hm?"

"Do you understand this?" Rikku lifted her math homework. "I know we said we wouldn't try and help each other but I'm confused."

Paine sigh a small sigh and got up to look over Rikku's right shoulder. "It's 42."

Rikku sighed. "How though? Look at what I did here…" She motioned to her area of work.

Paine tilted her head. "Mmm, you copied the standard formula wrong… look." She reached for Rikku's statistics textbook. "Here it is, probability of this…" She went on to explain it and waited till Rikku finally got it. "Yeah that's right." Paine looked to her left and placed a little kiss on Rikku's cheek. "That's the hardest thing with this class, remembering the formulas."

##

Paine plopped down on the bed lazily later that night. She had just showered and it was late. Rikku laughed lightly when Paine rested her head on her lap, she ran her hand through the dark slightly damp hair.

"We're going to have to start sharing scrunchies."

Paine rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna shave my head…what do you think?"

"No you're not."

Paine laughed. "You think you're the boss."

Rikku used her palm to pull her bang aside. "I am, Pypo."

"No you're not. But I let you think you are because I know it makes you happy." Paine stretched her body out so she was settled between Rikku's legs and hugging her thighs lazily with her arms. Rikku had been sitting up with her back against Paine's cool wall at the head of her bed. The blonde watched her yawn and continued to massage her scalp.

"You sleepy?"

Paine didn't say anything for a few minutes; she just laid there enjoying the quiet. "How was your day today Princess?"

Rikku shrugged, "Mmm it was a day at school. I went to Lulu and Wakka's again today for lunch with Yunie."

"How's Viddy?"

"He's a baby."

"Eat, sleep, poop, cry…"

"Yeah that's about it. I'm teaching him Al bhed though."

Paine picked her head up a little and looked at her girlfriend. "He can't even speak Common."

"Doesn't matter." Paine laid her head back down. "How do you think you become fluent in a language? I read somewhere that if kids learn more than one language when small they have a better IQ."

"You read somewhere….where?"

Rikku shrugged. "Somewhere…Anyway I think that when I'm older I would wanna equip my kids with that knowledge."

"Just worry about Viddy for now alright?"

Rikku laughed. "Why?"

"Because you don't have babies, you're twenty one, not thirty one."

"Is that when you wanna start trying?"

Paine laughed and shook her head. "I'm kinda glad I don't have a dick, something tells me you would be the type to poke holes." Paine raised her hands to make a poking gesture.

Rikku laughed and yanked her hands down. "Shut up no I wouldn't!"

Paine laughed with her. "He's lucky to have you as an aunty…" Paine said once they calmed down.

"Awe Pai."

"Awe Ri." Paine mocked sweetly.

"Let's kiss." They laughed as Rikku leaned down and pecked Paine's lips. Paine mouthed something causing Rikku to blush and giggle. "Paine Kerrigan stop it, I wanna talk with you first." Paine groaned and looked up at Rikku in waiting. "You didn't tell me how your day was."

Paine grew thoughtful. "It was alright, I had a quiz today, I was in school mode till we got here."

"Yeah you seemed it. How was your work out?"

"Good." Paine stretched an arm out. "I'm thinking about heading to Judo this weekend."

"Like to practice? How's your back?"

"Feels fine, I have a post post op in like a month. Anyway I was going to take Big Mack to watch, you should come if you want."

"Are you kidding I'd love that. I've never seen you like…all dressed up and stuff."

"You've seen my black belt."

"Yeah but I've never seen you wear it."

"Well Saturday afternoon."

Rikku gasped excitedly. "Do you have a sensei!?"

Paine cracked a genuine smile. "Maybe."

"How come you never tried to teach me Judo…?"

"I _did_ try and teach you!"

"You're full of crap." Rikku waved her off.

Paine only shook her head. "You're not the easiest person to teach I hope you know."

"You're not the best teacher."

"I start classes again in a week, you in or are you out?"

Rikku shook her head no. "Babe?"

"Hm?"

"Would you still love me if I were fat?"

"No." Paine said easily.

Rikku nudged her playfully. "Oh my gosh!"

Paine chuckled and finally sat up. She turned to face Rikku and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. "I'd love you a little less than I do now…" She joked in between the kiss.

"Is this your plan to get me in your bed?"

Paine smirked. "You're already in my bed."

Rikku grinned. "You're sneaky."

Paine nodded and leaned in to kiss her again. "Now we just gotta get rid of these panties…." She reached her hand for Rikku's hip and she pushed Rikku onto her back. "Fucking tease." She mumbled affectionately as they adjusted the lower half's of their bodies.

"Be honest."

Paine laughed a little and kissed Rikku softly. "I'd love you if you were as big as a shoopuf… but I have to say that that would make what I'm about to do a little difficult."

Rikku giggled as Paine's lips attacked her neck. She moaned light enough to spur Paine on. "That's why you gotta go back to yoga, Pypo."

Paine responded by sucking gently on a sensitive part of Rikku's neck near her collar bone. Rikku took in a sharp breath of air and hummed lightly. "Ruf tu oui ghuf zicd frana du duilr sa?" she mumbled in her bedroom Al Bhed. Paine was the only person she had ever been with that could truly get her from zero to sixty in three seconds flat.

Paine pressed her hips down into Rikku's. "You sound so sexy when you moan for me."

Rikku trailed the fingers of her left hand down the back of Paine's neck and rolled her hips in time with Paine's gentle thrusts. She could feel how hot Paine's body was and it turned her on that just by being her Paine was turned on.

Paine exhaled heavily when she felt Rikku's nimble fingers hook at her sweatpants waistband. Paine found her lips and the two exchanged the first of many passionate kisses. They only separated so that Paine could pull off her shirt. She sat up and yanked it off and tossed it somewhere in the room and rolled her hips roughly against Rikku's when the blonde wrapped her left leg around her as she leaned back down to claim her lips. Their hands fumbled in the dim room until Paine was running hers slowly down Rikku's bare sides as she pressed small kisses upon her tanned stomach. Rikku's eyes closed tightly and then relaxed as Paine began to use her tongue to stroke the very tender area right before her center. Rikku moaned and clenched the thin fitted sheet on Paine's bed.

Paine loved getting Rikku all hot and bothered. The blonde made possibly the sexiest noises in all of Spira, and for some reason she reverted to her first language of Al Bhed and it drove Paine crazy. She never experienced being so sexually attracted to a person, not like this, this had to be something else because once they started up things just continued to increase with intensity until someone gave in. Rikku knew all the little tricks to both encourage and frustrate her; running her hands through her hair, holding her closer, gripping her shoulder blades while Paine was pushing deeper into her. Or Paine's personal favorite; when Rikku wrapped her legs around her waist and pulled her closer. They had only been having sex for about two months now, and even then with everything that has been going on things had been a bit strained in that department. Paine felt bad because she knew it was mainly her, she hated that once again her situation was affecting her relationship with Rikku, this was Paine's main motivation for sexing Rikku up like it was her job. She wanted the blonde to know just how much she loved her, how much she appreciated her, why not in the form of an orgasm or two…or three.

Paine knew she was close by the drastic change in pitch of her moans and the sharp pain on her shoulder blade from Rikku scraping her nails there in efforts to hold her closer.

Paine hated how at these moments her body took the time to be flooded with emotion, she couldn't just have sex with her, and maybe it was a part of growing and changing and realizing that this was a whole lot heavier than others made it seem. Your body was your temple, it was the only thing you had throughout your entire life, and to share that so willingly with just one person. It was huge for Paine, especially with how she used to treat her body.

Paine leaned down and pressed her cheek to Rikku's so her mouth was by her ear. Rikku wrapped her body around Paine and began to shake. After she came Paine just held her like that for a while before whispering that she loved her.

Usually what followed was either one or the other. Either Rikku would pass out in Paine's arms only to wake up an hour later and surprise Paine with a little pay back, or the blonde would have enough energy to express her feelings right then and the two would lay awake and talk way into the morning after. Sometimes Paine didn't even go to sleep on these nights. She'd just get up and head for the gym once Rikku finally closed her eyes.

Tonight started out as the latter.

Paine was lying on her back with just her tank top back on and a pair of black panties and Rikku lay curled up at her side in a pair of Paine's shorts and one of her white V- neck shirts. Her right leg was crossed over Paine's left and they were lying above the covers with the window cracked.

Rikku patted Paine's stomach affectionately as she hummed in thought at the question. "I don't know, you don't need all that room." She whispered.

"I don't think so either, plus those places are expensive for no reason."

"They're in a nice area."

"I don't mind a step or two above Crenshaw, I just want to be able to have to walk to my kitchen, y'know instead of waking up and already being in it."

"That would make breakfast in bed a regular occurrence."

Paine watched Rikku run her fingers along her stomach now. The small padding of her digits reminded Paine of playing a piano "No,"

"You could get roommates."

"I want my own place, with my own key."

"Yunie and Tidus are going to break up."

"That sucks."

"That sucks? Really Pai? That's horrible!"

"Why is it horrible?"

Rikku looked up at her. "I know you've been a bit distracted because you've been falling madly in love with me." Paine laughed. "But have you noticed those two? If anyone were to make it I think it's them."

"Weren't they fighting anyway?"

"We fight sometimes."

"Yeah but if anyone were to make it would be them right?"

Rikku looked up at Paine and bit her lip. "You know what I mean pypo." Paine only shrugged. "I'm just… I mean I've never seen Yunie so happy with a guy that's all."

"Maybe she's gay."

"Paine!"

"Alright alright, what? It's sad yeah, but like you were saying it's not for nothing, there is always a reason, and besides if they are meant to be they will be, it doesn't mean you always have to be with someone, you just have to end up with them."

"Well…" She did have a point. "I just feel bad."

"She's your cousin, I get that."

"Yeah…." Paine sighed and glanced at her nightstand for the fifth time. Rikku noticed and smiled a little. "Just open it."

"Why would she send me something in the mail?"

"Because you never pick up her calls and because she doesn't want to push you by showing up."

"You don't even know her to know that's the reason."

"And neither do you."

Paine sighed again. "You open it." She looked down at Rikku. She mouthed the word please and Rikku nodded.

The Al Bhed sat up and reached for the envelope. She glanced at Paine to make sure she were sure and then snuggled back down against her. "Alright…What voice should I use?"

Paine just looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"Like should I use what I think she sounds like or?"

Paine raised an eyebrow at Rikku but then couldn't help but die laughing when she began to read the mailing address in what she assumed was a posh Bevellian accent. Paine wrapped both arms around her when she realized what she was trying to do. "Use your own voice. I like that one much better." She murmured.

Rikku sent her a loving smile before clearing her throat and opening up the letter. She furrowed her brows when she noticed Paine's handwriting in the form of a list, and then someone else's in a different shade of ink. Rikku glanced at Paine a little sad; she had never actually read what Paine wrote on Christmas. "I hate that I never had a childhood…then down here is says. I can in no way understand what you have went through. I feel responsible for whatever it is that has robbed you of this precious time. I could tell you had something to say, but like me had no idea who to tell it to. I grew up in North Bevelle, I had five siblings, and I was the youngest. I ran away from home when I was sixteen, I met your biological father at seventeen…." Rikku went on reading the make shift Q and A as Paine sat there soaking in all the words as if they were air. "While at home I was close to my grandmother, it seemed she was the only person to understand that I wanted to be my own person, she encouraged me and stood by my side as a mother might, I owe her everything I have, her name was Paine, Amelia is the name of my beloved childhood friend who died of heart complications. She had a hole in her heart too big to fix, especially in those days. She was sent home to die when she was born and lived to 11. She shared my love of music and theatre. Since she couldn't do much running around we would stay up and listen to old records in her father's attic. She passed away in her sleep one night while staying over. I often think of her as being lucky… She never had to grow up." Rikku's grew still for a moment before continuing to read. "I believe people enter your life with a purpose, Amelia's death taught me a lot about life, how it was short, and how you can't waste your time wishing it slowed down. So you see, or at least I hope you do, the importance of your name. We feel the way we feel, and that is okay. I know that what I had then was your best interest in mind. It may seem as though I was being selfish, but you were everything I had ever loved in one, and you were my daughter. I needed to protect you….."

Rikku continued reading until she got to the end. She sighed at how heavy the letter now felt in her hands. She rested it on her lap and looked up at Paine. "I was named after my great grandmother…" Was all she could think to say.

Rikku placed the letter back on the nightstand and then wrapped an arm around Paine's midsection. "I've always loved your name."

Paine looked down at her. "Yeah?" She asked in a tone that suggested that she herself hadn't.

Rikku nodded. "I think that now more than ever it makes sense, it fits."

Paine nodded and looked up at the ceiling. "Not because I'm a pain in your ass?"

Rikku chuckled softly and closed her eyes. "No." She squeezed Paine affectionately, "because you are everything I love, in one."

Paine glanced down at her head and pressed a small kiss upon the golden tassels before and closing her own eyes.

**AN: A bit late in the updating so so sorry on that. Hope you all are still there and liking the development here. Review! I just have to know what you think of the meeting and everything else that's happening it's my motivation for writing on. **

**KathleenDee**


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter Forty Four**

"Well is there a return address?" Gippal asked as he pushed a grocery cart down a thin isle of their corner grocer. He shook his head at the produce. "I swear I gotta steal shit from Lap just to get decent quality in this city."

Paine walked at a lazy pace beside him with her hands in her front hoody pockets. "What do you think of Westnewberry?"

Gippal stopped the cart and rubbed his chin. "Too preppy."

Paine nodded and they continued down the canned food isle.

"So…is there a return address?"

"Landon?"

Gippal laughed. "Damnit Dr. P."

"Yes there's a return address." Paine grabbed a couple of tomato soups and put them in the cart.

"So you're gonna write back. right? I mean fuck shouldn't you be mad at you're old man?"

"I don't have an old man."

"Yeah you just showed up one day without anyone's help. You gotta get out of that mentality cause obviously it ain't true."

"And when the fuck did you get so insightful?"

"Since I got laid."

She gave a soundless chuckle. "Who's the poor soul?"

Gippal began to grin. "Phoebe."

"The hot waitress?!" Paine asked a little surprised. "I thought she had a boyfriend."

Gippal stopped and picked up minced garlic in a glass jar. "Oh she still does."

Paine laughed a little. "She's like mm an eight."

"Get the fuck outta here you're only saying that because of Cid's girl—"

"Who's a ten."

"Psshh."

"One zero." Paine smiled at the thought of her girlfriend. "You know what I realize the other day?"

"What that you don't deserve her?" Gippal was in the process of looking for a specific kind of jarred pepper, his tone barely giving effort to thought.

Paine crossed her arms. "Nah, it's just that I've never had a Valentine before. I mean who the hell made up this holiday anyway?"

He shook his head. "Women."

Paine shook her head too. "It's bullshit."

"What are you worried about? Bring her by Lap I'll hook you guys up."

Paine shook her head. "No, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's too standard." Gippal put a hand to his chest as he feigned offence. Paine gave him a look they had shared as children whenever one of them did something right in societies eyes. It was no secret how successful the restaurant had become. Paine grabbed a bottle of cooking oil. "Rikku may be a princess, but she'd be happier if I made her a card out of macaroni. She's sentimental. "

"Y'know you may be a tom boy—" Paine scuffed "But you are definitely one of them."

Paine laughed. "How so?"

"Because you're thinking too hard on this shit! Get her a card, fuck her really good, and then be done with it."

Paine smirked. "Well I already do that so…"

Gippal wore a tight lipped grin as he shook the head and began pushing the cart along. "So are you gonna write back?"

Paine groaned.

**##**

Rikku spotted the little girl easily; she was sitting on the very bottom row of a bleachers level with the fighting mat. Her dark hair was in braids and she was wearing little denim shorts and a blue and grey star sweater, her shoes were untied.

"Hey Mackenzie." Rikku smiled and sat in the space beside her.

Mackenzie looked up at the blonde a little confused as to who she was. "Oh, you're Paine's friend." She nodded remembering seeing Rikku before a few times. "Paine isn't in yet, she went to go change and stuffs, she told me to wait right here and not to talk to anyone….oh!" She capped her hands over her mouth and her eyes widened at Rikku.

Rikku laughed. "I'm sure she thought it would be okay if you talked to me."

"But I don't know you." Mackenzie shook her head back and forth.

Rikku nodded and stuck out her hand. "I'm Rikku Bayla. I'm twenty one years old and I have a big brother and a Pop."

Big Mack stared at her hand. Paine had taught this kid well alright. "What's a Pop?"

Rikku pulled her hand back to talk with it. "It's like a daddy, a father."

"Oh, I don't have one of those."

"Oh…." Rikku rubbed the back of her neck. "Well their okay I guess…"

"I have a Mommy!" Mackenzie offered.

Rikku nodded "I have one too, or err I had one."

"Did you lose her at the mall too? I almost lost Momma at tha mall, I was so nervous and worried that I wouldn't find her never again."

"I lost mine in a car."

Mackenzie laughed a little. "Cars aren't that big! She musta been a small Mommy."

Rikku smiled at her. "Not as big as the mall I bet."

"Yeah dat place was huwge! Um, I bet Paine would help you look for her, she's real nice about things if you just ask…she got me this today." Mackenzie dug into her sweater pocket to pull out a little bag of Skittles. "I'm saving dem for after dinner though, you can't eat these just like that."

Rikku nodded. "You and Paine been hanging out all day huh?"

"Not _all_ day." Mackenzie put the candy back in her pocket. "When I woked up Momma made me breakfast and den I watched cartoons and den Paine came over and laid down for little cause she didn't feel good. But den she woke up and we went and did things for Momma and she got me the candy and then we came here…That was like…hm..I guess all day."

"She wasn't feeling good—"

"Hey you two." Paine walked over dressed in her white gi with her black belt tied expertly around her waist. She was holding a small bag with her change of clothes and her sneakers. She smiled shyly at Rikku. She had never seen her really fight before and it made her a little nervous all of a sudden.

Mackenzie jumped up from her seat and motioned to Rikku. "I met your friend Painey."

Rikku couldn't help but smile widely. She didn't even let her own girlfriend call her Painey. It was too cute.

Paine nodded at Mackenzie. "Oh yeah? You met Rikks before though."

Big Mack shrugged and motioned to Rikku. "Will you help us look for her Momma?" Paine looked up at Rikku. "She lost her in a car, I bet we can find her if we all look and stuff. Dere are a lot of cars in the city though…"

Paine tilted her head in question and Rikku sent her a look that Paine nodded to. "Sure we'll look soon. Here, can you rest these by your things?" Paine handed her the bag she was holding and her shoes. "Don't touch the bottoms." She reminded as Mackenzie was quick to help out.

Rikku took a step closer to Paine and smiled. Paine motioned with her chin to Big Mack "Misunderstanding?"

Rikku nodded. "It's okay." She smiled and played with one of Paine's long sleeves. "Look at you."

Paine looked away. "C'mon."

Rikku noticed her small blush. "You look so cute."

"Listen, there are some rules here okay?"

Rikku laughed and crossed her arms. "Rules that you came up with or that are official rules of this dojo thingy."

"Is there a difference?"

"Sure, ones I'll follow and the others I'll consider following." Paine smiled and shook her head. "Relax, I'm not going to embarrasses you in front of your friends." Rikku laughed a little when Paine looked relived.

"Kerrigan!"

Paine turned and nodded at someone. "Alright, I'm just gonna stretch and stuff then I'll be up. Keep an eye on Big Mack huh?"

Rikku nodded. "You got it _Painey_." Paine sent her a silly little warning look which made Rikku smile warmly and want to kiss her.

##

"Do you know what it's like to watch someone do something so meaningful to them? She seemed so…I don't know. It was a different side of her I have never seen before." Rikku lay back on her bed with her cell phone to her ear Sunday night.

Kirill Bayla had been moving things all day for his grandmother and had finally taken a seat in the smushy antique couches in the living room. Milana Bayla had long since retired to bed and left instructions for Kirill to stir the two pots in the kitchen before locking up and leaving. Brother didn't feel right leaving his grandmother in the house alone, so he kicked off his shoes and decided to call his little sister. "Really? Did she kick some ass?"

Rikku laughed a little. "Not in the beginning, she lost her first match and she had this cute little pouty look on her face but then just like that it was gone. It's like watching you play Blitz, she very focused and in the moment."

"Blitz conditioning sucks big time." He stretched out his sore knee. "It'll all be worth it though when we win the championships this year though."

"Ah I'm not too sure it's going to be that easy, a lot of good people are being drafted from school."

The two went on to talk for a little while longer before Kirill announced he had to go stir something. After hanging up Rikku checked the time and then her phone and then went up into the attic. She cracked open the window a little and let the cold nights air tickle her cheeks and dry her lips before licking them and turning to a few paintings she had drying. "I have to really clean up up here…" She thought aloud as she examined the way one particular painting had dried. Rikku furrowed her eyes and ran a hand across an area of blue. She shook her head and rested it down again. The blonde went about this for a half hour; reminding herself to clean up yet getting side tracked to check on another painting. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with all of these, the room was getting cluttered and it was already small enough. Rikku soon began stacking a few dry paintings on top of one another so they could easily slide under the crimson couch. She wanted to throw them away really, to make room for new ones but something told her not to. After that she stared at a blank sheet of sketch pad and decided to make something to eat.

Procrastination had a name

Rikku Milan Bayla.

Around eleven at night she got a call from Paine. There was loud music in the background and it took a second for the two to be able to understand one another. "Hey!"

Rikku shook her head. She never knew where Paine was, and it got to the point that she didn't bother to ask unless it seemed important. Her girlfriend still liked to believe she was a free spirit. Ha. "Baby I can't hear you."

"Hold on." Paine moved from the crowded area and onto the street near her car. She kicked her boots against the tire before getting inside and closing the door. "Fucking idiot…Hello?"

"Who?"

Paine shook her head and kept an eye out for her best friend. "Who the fuck else? Gippal! So I'm getting ready to call it a night when I get a text from him saying he needs a ride home, which is cool y'know? Whatever, so then I get here and his phone is fucking turned off and he's nowhere to be found…." Paine honked her horn at someone who was leaning on her car. "You think this is a fucking bench?"

Rikku frowned. "Calm down, Pai."

Paine took an audible breath but it didn't help she tapped her left hand on the staring wheel and shook her head when she noticed the time. "I have to be up at four tomorrow to be at the gym for four thirty to be at work for six…"

"Where are you?"

"Some shit hole..." She searched her glove compartment for that half pack of cigarettes she smoked before going to see her mother. Maybe she'd have to buy another pack… She put one in her mouth and searched for her zippo. "He knows I hate it here…" She mumbled taking in the night around her. She exhaled the smoke and watched it before shaking her head and rolling her window down a little. "I just called to say goodnight."

"Stay on the phone with me?"

She nodded. "Yeah okay. You write that paper yet?"

Rikku pouted. "No."

"It's due—"

"I know when it's due."

"Fine."

"I guess this is a bad time to ask if you thought about the letter…?"

"I just wanna be able to lie in my fucking bed right now."

"Yeah you sound cranky."

Paine sighed. "I'm sorry; I'm just having a bad night. Let me call you back okay? I'm gonna go back in and look for him."

Rikku nodded. "Be careful please, Paine."

"I will."

"I love you."

"Love you too, bye."

"Bye."

##

"So?" Lai asked when he noticed Paine had a new hair cut Monday morning. "Good place huh? It's where I get my hair cut." He took a seat at the table Paine and Rikku were sitting at inside the student union.

Paine ran a hand through her expensive hair cut. She honestly could have went to where she always went and it would look exactly the same. "I've never seen so many gays in my life."

Baralai shrugged. "Well it looks good."

"Thanks."

Baralai glanced at Rikku who had yet to acknowledge him. She had her long blonde hair in a pony tail and wasn't wearing a headband today. She was clad in a ruffly gray blouse, blue skinny jeans and a cute brown sweater. She wasn't wearing any bangles today; they were too distracting. Her usually swirly green eyes were hidden by the textbook she was glued to. Lai motioned to her. "What's up with her?"

Paine glanced at Rikku and then picked up her small coffee. It certainly wasn't her first with the night she had had."First exam."

"Oh wow, good luck Rikku."

"…okay." Rikku mumbled.

Paine shook her head and turned to Lai to talk. "I'm done for the day, just waiting on this one. What's up with that weapons trainer you were telling me about….."

Ten minutes later an alarm on Rikku's phone went off and she jumped up and slammed her book shut. Lai had to stifle his laughter at the scene. "I'm gonna be late!" She turned and looked at Paine.

"Alright alright, breathe, you got this….." Paine held her shoulders and made sure to make direct eye contact with her. "Alright?"

"I…I don't know."

"You're super smart and super beautiful and super—"

"Super screwed!" Rikku threw her hands in the air and then let them fall to hold her head by the temples. "If I don't do well on this test then what am I going to do with my life?"

"You can always be my trophy girl."

"You're not helping!" She jumped up and fumbled to get her things together. "…Cred…number two pencils, Lai do you have a number two pencil?" Paine stood and pulled the pencil Rikku kept behind her left ear from behind her ear. "Thank you."

"No problem, Princess. Here." Paine pulled a small plastic baggy from her pocket filled with only pink jelly beans. "For when you need brain sugar."

Rikku's crazed gaze softened as she took the little bag and stuffed it into her pocket. "Thank you."

"You'll get a hundred." Paine nodded. "And then you'll come back and meet me here huh?" Rikku nodded. "Alright."

"Hugs?"

Paine smiled and extended her arms to give Rikku a good luck hug. Rikku smiled at her and then let go and walked around the table to hug Baralai around the neck. "You too, I need all the luck I can get."

Eventually Rikku dashed off and Paine sat down back at the table. She raised an eyebrow at Baralai who was giving her an odd look. "What?"

"You really love her huh?"

Paine shrugged. "Yeah…y'know I hope she does well." She glanced to where Rikku was pushing the door open to leave the student union. "She's been under a lot of pressure lately, I don't know where it comes from but it sucks because she gets all worked up, and really it is live or die in her mind." Paine shook her head. "This is her favorite class, and y'know she's actually really good at this stuff."

"What?"

"Architecture 101. I mean some formulas slip her up but I really think she can do well in it."

"You seem surprised."

"Nah." Paine shook her head. "She doesn't give herself enough credit; I couldn't do what she does. Take something completely blank, void of just everything? And to make something out of it just from her head, just from her mood? She's really talented. I would be standing there not even knowing where to begin."

"She just needs to find her thing."

Paine nodded. "Yeah."She glanced at the time on her phone and smiled when she saw her screen saver was changed yet again. Mischief was certainly one of those things she didn't need to find. "Y'know I never thought that things could be like this." Paine sighed and shook her head at herself.

Baralai leaned on his elbow and tilted his head. "I'm happy you're happy."

"Even though it's not with you?" Paine raised an eyebrow and Lai laughed.

"Yeah sure." The two friends sat and caught up on what they did over the weekend. Paine talked about doing Judo again and how rusty she was at the actually technique. Lai talked about taking his three little cousins to an amusement park in the cold. It seemed odd to Paine that around this time last year not only was she single but she didn't even know if Baralai were still in the city. Now though, she had friends, like actual people who weren't on drugs and who cared about how her day was going. It was nice. The two made plans to meet up with Gippal in the city over the weekend and get drinks. That is after Paine forgave him for keeping her out till two in the morning of course.

"So what about this parent thing? I mean crap you have a sister….Lulu!" Lai laughed while shaking his head. "Small world."

"You're telling me…. She wrote to me y'know…" Paine ran a hand through her happily shorter hair. "I mean….what do I do, I have no words. I don't even know if I'm mad it's just…."

"Lulu?"

"No Keira… that's her name."

"Why don't you just invite her to therapy, you still go to that right?"

Paine picked up her head and narrowed her eyes in concentration. "What? Yeah, every other week now."

Lai shrugged and reached for his coffee. "Well, therapists help you process your thoughts no? Maybe it would be easier to actually effectively communicate in a safe zone like therapy."

"You're a fucking genius." Paine pointed as she grabbed her phone and called Martha's office.

##

Paine glanced at the time. She was feeling really good about her conversation she just had with Martha about inviting her mother over to her next session, now it was just calling and asking if Keira would show. I mean what if she said no? What if the letter and explaining her side of the story was all she wanted to do? Paine shook her head and pulled her leather messenger bag on the round table she and Baralai were still sharing. Lai had begun reading a finance textbook quietly and Paine had tried to do some things but of course her mind couldn't stay on track at all.

This meant she had to deal with things.

Which now a days was okay it was just really…. Scary, to have to share those things, some she hadn't even told Rikku. Martha said she didn't have to if she didn't want to but Paine was just ready to dump all of that stuff on the floor, or even on Keira, and then just go forward.

Paine checked the time to see if Rikku were out of her test yet. They planned on going on a little date tonight to the hipster movie theatre in the city.

Rikku's idea.

As she picked her head up from checking the time she caught sight of her girlfriend entering the student union with her things, but she wasn't alone. Paine stood and left the table immediately when she recognized who she was talking to.

"So what do ya say?" Buddy smiled.

"Well I have a thing Thursday—"

Paine walked over. "I really thought I told you to stay the fuck away from her."

Rikku and Buddy turned and Rikku seemed a little surprised. "Pypo."

Paine ignored her and stepped in front of Buddy.

"Hey look, we were just talking—"

"Yeah I thought I said you couldn't."

"Paine." Rikku tugged at Paine's arm and Paine ignored her again.

"No." She said glancing at Rikku. She pointed to Buddy. "Let me spell this out again for you _Brandon_. Rikku is my girlfriend—"

"I get that." Buddy rolled his eyes. "She can't have friends that you don't approve of?"

"No, she can't have friends that want to fuck her."

"Paine!" Rikku finally just grabbed the taller woman and pulled her away. She sent Buddy a look, she wasn't even sure if it were meant to be apologetic or not. "Fryd ec fnuhk fedr oui?" She growled when she finally moved far enough away from everyone. "Cusadesac E fuhtan ev oui ghuf ruf du yld."

Paine yanked her arm from Rikku. "Listen I'm not stupid, you see that look on his face? That's the look I wear every single day. He doesn't want to be your fucking pen pal."

"Even so you don't need to—"

"And what the fuck were you two planning on doing?"

"That's none of your business." Of course she was going to tell Paine, but they were having an argument right now. C'mon.

"You're _my_ fucking girlfriend, you are my business."

Rikku hiked her bag up on her shoulders and narrowed her eyes. "Not when you get like this."

Paine crossed her arms. "Well this is how I am."

The blonde shook her head. "No it's not." Paine huffed. "Cool off and then call me, not one second before." Rikku turned and began walking off. "E's hud dymgehk du oui mega drec" She mumbled to herself.

"Why the hell do you do that?" Paine asked after her.

Rikku stopped and turned around. "What?"

"Give people who fuck you over second chances."

Rikku shook her head again at her. It was apparent Paine was having a day. "I'll tell you when you call me."

"Yeah well… don't wait up."

"I'm learning not to."

Paine returned to the small round table where Baralai was waiting for her. "Did I almost have to jump into something?" He asked with a friendly smirk.

"You couldn't fucking jump in a bouncy house Lai." Paine said dryly as she went back to her notes for class. "And what the fuck does that even mean?" er notes hadn't even gotten a glance.

"What?"

"She's learning not to….."

"What?"

"Wait up for me."

"Well…" Baralai sighed. "You are a certain type of person…kinda like blue cheese." Paine raised an eyebrow. "Some people love it, some people can't stand to be in the same room as it."

"Shut up."

"Maybe not blue cheese…. But anyway it just means maybe she's having a rough day… how'd she do on the test?"

Paine slapped a hand to her forehead. "I forgot to ask, fuck."

"Maybe she bombed it.'

"Maybe you just need to be quiet now."

"Fine, I'll just learn not to talk to you."

Paine sighed. "Lai."

Baralai smiled. "It's not easy huh?"

"What?"

"Relationships."

"My girlfriend is like, the love of my fucking life or something…" Paine looked around at the table as if confused. "…but she's Al Bhed."

Lai laughed. "And that means…."

Paine grabbed her wrist where Rikku pulled her away. "When she's mad there is no beating around the bush, she's fire, I like that but…It just makes me feel bad, and when I feel bad I get defensive, I don't want her talking to that sleaze ball, I don't trust him, but she's her own person."

"And the more you tell someone not to do something the more they do it."

"I don't fucking know." Paine was already feeling stupid about the way she acted. It was the fastest deflation yet. "You think she really likes him?"

"Stop it."

"She's told me she doesn't but…"

"So trust her, maybe she feels like you don't trust her when you get all Crenshaw on her."

Paine laughed a little. "When I get all Crenshaw?"

"It's intimidating." Lai laughed. "Plus she's not one of those girls. She's just not."

Paine sighed. "She's a Princess."

Lai laughed. "I gotta tell you seeing you in love is just weird to me."

"Shut up."

##

"Milan." Cid smiled when his daughter made it home from school that day. He studied her face for a second and then nodded towards her backpack. "How did it go?"

Rikku pulled the bag off her shoulder and tossed it onto the breakfast nook table. "I got a ninety seven."

"That's amazing!"

"Yeah..." She turned and opened the fridge door.

"Is…something the matter—"

"Why can't men just understand no?" Rikku asked turning around to look at her father.

Cid shifted his weight. "Um."

"And why are women so stupid and protective?"

"I'm assuming you're talking about Paine."

"Yes! I mean… I know she doesn't like Buddy because he likes me but she doesn't need to get so, so, so…."

"Well you're fighting, isn't that what you wanted?" Cid asked as a joke but the look he got told him that he should have just said nothing at all. "Milan sit down."

Rikku did as she was told and moved her bag aside so she could look at her father across the table. "What are you doing home anyway?"

Cid waved her off a little. "Not important, what's going on?"

"Well Pops…" Rikku sighed. "Okay, but you can't interrupt with your fatherly nonsense." Cid nodded. "On New Years…."

##

"Hello?"

"Um… Hey it's Paine."

Keira motioned to Carlo to shut up. "Hello Paine, how are you?"

"Uh...I'm alright."

"Good good."

"….Yeah."

"….Is something….did something happen? Are you…alright?" Keira slapped herself in the face silently. The girl clearly just said she was alright.

Paine furrowed her brows. "Listen I've been going to see a therapist on and off for like…ever."

"Oh."

"And I got your letters and….I mean I don't know what to say to all of this."

"I understand."

"No, I don't think you really do….so um I think that if you wanna know me you kinda have to know where I'm coming from and why this is so…..fucked for lack of a better word."

"Alright."

"So I have another session… Sunday afternoon and I thought…." Paine trailed off as another call came through on her cell phone. "Hold on a second." She clicked over. "Babe."

"Can you meet me somewhere?"

Paine nodded quickly. "Yeah sure, where? Are you okay?"

"Are you still at school?"

"I'm now leaving."

"Okay well stay there, I'll meet you by the quad in ten."

Paine began to grow worried. "What's up?"

"Just meet me please?"

"Okay." She clicked over and sighed to herself. "Hello?"

"I'm still here."

"Yeah so would you like to come?"

Keira was a little nervous about this, but it was the first step Paine had ever taken in her direction. "Of course, this is my cellular so if you could text me the details I will be there, certainly."

"Okay. Bye."

"Goodbye Paine."

##

Paine nervously picked the lint in her front pockets as she walked over to the quad to wait for Rikku.

Had she really done it? Was Rikku going to break up with her? That fast? That easily? Wasn't what they had more than that? Paine didn't know if she was ready to run or beg to be forgiven, that's how bad her anxiety was kicking in. She patted her leather jacket and frowned when she only found her lighter.

She choose a dry picnic table to sit and wait. After four minutes someone walked over to her. She turned around to see her girlfriend. Paine quickly stood. "Hey—" Before she could get out the last sound of the word out Rikku had taken her face in her hands and was kissing her.

It took more than a second for Paine to realize what was going on, but when she finally did she wrapped her arms around the blondes lower body and held her close no even caring if people saw them.

_**Meet me somewhere? By the picnic benches in the quad, I wanna show you something. **_

Buddy glanced at the text again as he rounded the corner with a small smile on his face. He stopped though when he noticed a group of guys just staring at something. He pushed past them and was stopped in his tracks at the sight of Paine and Rikku with their lips locked and in a tight embrace.

Rikku pulled away slowly and glanced over her shoulder in time to see Buddy and a few other guys staring. She glanced back at Paine who had followed her gaze and looked incredibly confused. "Okay?" Rikku asked softly. Paine looked back at her. "Okay?" She asked again.

Paine nodded slowly after a second more of trying to figure things out. "Okay…. C'mere." Paine wrapped her arms around Rikku in a hug and glared openly at Buddy with a territorial sort of manner about her. It was as if to say…

You see this woman right here?

She's mine.

So deal with it.

##

The temperature in the room a cool sixty five, her limbs were covered in a comfortable duvet that smelt vaguely of butterscotch and dryer sheets. Paine blinked a couple of times to try and adjust her eyes to the light in the cozy room. A steady tip tapping of a keyboard told her she wasn't alone. She rolled over onto her side to see Rikku at her laptop. She was sitting cross legged in blue sweat pants and one of Paine's white V neck shirts. She had been wearing them more than Paine did now a days. Her hair was in its usual style and she was biting her lip cutely.

Paine cleared her throat a little and began to sit up causing Rikku to look up.

"Hey you up? Are you hungry?"

Paine sat up. "You still wanna go to the movies?" She checked the time. "Shit I fell asleep huh?"

"You said you were having a headache."

Paine rubbed at the back of her head. "I was…."

"Well." Rikku stood and walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it in front of Paine. "How are you feeling now?"

"Shitty, but not because of my head."

Rikku tilted her head. "What then?"

"Today I was just….it wasn't cool but…" Paine shook her head. "All I could think about was you crying that night, and how I couldn't do anything, and how he was the cause of it. No one messes with you without me reacting."

"I know you getting tough is how you show you care."

"I know but…"

"Listen hm? It's done and over with, in every sense of the word, okay?"

Paine nodded. "I trust you, I do."

"I know you do."

"Okay…so you still up for the movies?"

Rikku giggled. "Paine it's twelve in the morning."

"I know but we had a date, are you standing me up?"

"Yes, I don't feel like getting changed, I'm sorry Pypo."

"I can't believe it."

Rikku pecked Paine on the mouth. "Believe it babe."

"What are you doing over there?"

"That paper."

"The one that's due—"

"I know when it's due." Rikku whined as she got off the bed. "Are you hungry I was going to order a pizza."

Paine slid out of bed. "You sure?"

"Yeah, it's on me, I need brain food."

"How about we order it and then go take a ride to pick it up? You can stay in the car so that you don't have to change."

Rikku nodded from her spot. "Call?"

Paine nodded and grabbed her phone. "What do you want on it _before_ I get on the phone."

Paine and Rikku stared at one another for at least two minutes. Rikku opened her mouth to speak and Paine raised an eyebrow. "I don't know." Rikku grinned.

"Good job." Paine put her phone down and shook her head. Rikku loved to complicate these orders with her swaying wants all of the time. "When you know, let me know."

"Pepperoni, but only if you order from the one on the corner."

"I was going to order from Romi's."

"Ew Pypo."

"Their cheese pizza is awesome."

"Well congrats goes to them for mastering the boringest pizza on Spira," Rikku even gave it a sarcastic clap.

Paine just shook her head. "I'm going to the bathroom and when I come back you need to have an answer cause I'm hungry as hell."

"Why are you so bossy?"

"Because you like it."

Rikku turned back to her laptop. Truth be told, she did like it when Paine was assertive She liked it in the streets and she liked it in the sheets. Rikku giggled at her own thoughts and tried to focus on her paper. When Paine returned she flopped herself on the larger bed and picked up her cell phone to text Wakka. The redhead was usually up at this time of night looking after his son. He'd always send Paine a picture of Vidina. Ten minutes passed as they stayed silent.

"Have you come to a decision Ms. Bayla?"

"No."

"I'm just gonna order a pepperoni and half cheese pie then okay?" Paine stood. "Maybe a salad too."

Rikku looked up at Paine from her seat. "A salad?"

"Yeah y'know so I can eat it later…"

"No hot wings?"

Paine rolled her eyes but smiled a little. "I can't eat hot wings now that I'm a model."

Rikku laughed. "You're letting that haircut get to your head."

"It's already there though."

Rikku laughed and stood. She walked over to Paine and wrapped her arms around her torso. "You're already so skinny though."

"I've been gaining weight, no drugs, weight training, dating an Al Bhed…"

Rikku giggled. "I should make you something instead of pizza."

"Nah you have to do your essay that's due—"

"Ugh!" Rikku threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. "I know I know."

"Well then? You wanna have a good Valentine's day right?"

"Who's your Valentine this year Pypo?"

Paine shrugged. "You…right?"

"You haven't asked me."

"I have to ask? I'm your girlfriend remember?"

"Of course you have to ask."

"Why though?"

"Well someone has already asked me so… maybe next year."

"Who!?"

"No one you goofster, gosh look at that face."

Paine shook her head. "Why do you like messing with me so much?"

"Cause you're cute when you get all frustrated. Order hot wings too, extra hot with blue cheese."

"Okay. I'm calling now."

Rikku nodded and went back to her essay. "You know Pops and I—"

Paine raised her voice over Rikku. "Hey can I order something for pick up?"

"May I." Rikku corrected.

They sent each other little glares.

"Yeah, alright I want a large pie, half pepperoni, half cheese…"

##

"The car is heated up." Paine announced as she stepped back into the house where Rikku was sitting putting boots on on the staircase. Paine stuffed her hands into her leather jacket pockets and waited patiently as Rikku gathered her things. "Don't forget your scarf." Paine picked the purple scarf off of the hook near the door.

"Thanks." Rikku said wrapping it around her neck over Paine's white shirt.

They piled into Paine's car and started the medium length drive to the pizza house that was on the corner before the Heights entrance.

"Awww look at him in his little diaper." Rikku cooed when Paine's phone went off with a picture text from Wakka. "Ugh if we weren't friends with Wakka and Lulu, and she wasn't your sister I'd steal him, I swear I would."

Paine chuckled softly. "Let me see it?" Rikku moved the phone to show Paine her nephew. "Yeah he's cute huh?"

"Let's go see him soon okay? Sunday?"

Paine glanced at her. "I didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

She waited till they reached a stoplight. "I'm not going to respond to the letters…"

"Paine but—"

"I invited her to see Martha with me on Sunday."

Rikku's eyes widened. "Wow."

"I know, I'm starting to regret it."

"No no no Paine this is really really good."

"Martha thinks so, but honestly it's just….I did it to get everyone off my back."

"That's the wrong reason for doing this."

"I know, but after speaking with Martha she really thinks it will help so…."

Rikku sat back in her seat. "Wow."

Paine chuckled nervously and ran a hand through her hair. "So that's on Sunday, after Judo of course."

"Of course." The car was quiet for a while as Rikku lost herself in thought. "Paine do you understand how healing this can be for you?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know what's going to happen." She turned into the small seven car parking lot of the pizza place and put the car in neutral. "All I know is that…" She was gathering her things as she spoke. "There is no going back now y'know?"

Rikku nodded, "This could be so good." She repeated just thinking of the possibilities.

"Or it could be horrible."

"Don't think like that."

"It's hard not to, babe." Paine left her cell phone with Rikku since she still had the latest Vidina picture still open. "I'll be right back." Paine jumped out of the car and returned five minutes later. "Pizza." Paine said as she presented Rikku with the pizza box and several other containers wrapped in greasy brown paper, even the salad.

Rikku waited until Paine was buckled up before speaking. "I'm gonna go with you…" Paine looked at her. "On Sunday."

"Rikks."

"No, I'm gonna go and just sit outside and wait, its okay I've done it before."

"Yeah but—"

"No buts."

Paine pressed her foot on the breaks and shifted the gear. "Okay."

"If I know you the way I think I do, and I think I do, then I just want to be there."

Paine nodded again. It took until that second for Paine to finally fully accept Rikku's position in her life. She wasn't just there to keep her company, or to look good, Paine had always known this, however accepting it when it came to certain things was harder than the judo black belt had realized. They were there to support one another, and it shocked Paine how well Rikku knew her personality. Did she even know Rikku's that well? Paine glanced at Rikku and sent her a serious look to which the blonde replied to by smiling back. Paine nodded to herself.

Yeah, she knew.

##

Paine took her lab goggles off when she realized the annoying high pitched voice was addressing her. "What?"

"Aren't you Paine Kerrigan?" The girl dressed as a heart asked. Everyone in the class was staring now.

"Who's asking?"

"Why that must mean yes!" She cheered and turned to her little helper that Paine hadn't even realized existed.

These kids just keep getting shorter and shorter.

"Candy gram you've got a candy gram!" It sang, it because the taller woman had no way of knowing its sex. The heart and the little…artery? Paine had no clue what it was supposed to be. It was dressed in all red. It looked more like a hot dog.

The two looked at one another and seemed to be counting down silently.

And then it happened.

They began to sing and dance.

"_Happy Day of Love from cupid himself_" The heart sang.

"_He sent you this gram from someone else_—"

"Stop stop stop." Paine glared. "What the fuck is this?"

Phin, Paine's idiot for a lab partner leaned in. "I believe it's a candy gram."

"No shit." Paine glanced back at the two. "Just hand it over already."

The heart frowned. "But we have to do the whole routine; it's what the donations from the Liberty club is all about."

Paine glanced at her lab TA who seemed to be enjoying the sight quite a bit. "What the hell is the Liberty club?"

"Why we've been on this campus for decades." The hot dog explained.

"_We're here to spread cheer, at every time of the year!_" The heart sang.

"Who's this from?"

"We have to sing the song for you to find out."

Paine sighed and motioned for them to go on. She had to check on her experiment in two minutes anyway.

The two began to sing and dance again and Paine swore she would murder who ever sent this to her in the middle of class.

"_So that's why we came to share this lovely day with ya!"_

"_From a Ms. Rikku M Bayla!"_

##

"Oh no." Yuna laughed when she noticed Paine stalking over from afar.

"She must have gotten my candy gram!" Rikku shook her fists with excitement.

Paine finally got to the table and just stared at Rikku. She was suddenly disarmed with how cute she looked today. Light skinny jeans and a cream and red top with a graffiti heart on it, she was even wearing a little red ribbon in her hair…

Paine shook her head at herself and pulled herself together to fix her gaze on Rikku again.

Yuna watched the two stare at one another for some time until Paine placed the ridiculously large sack of candy from her candy gram on the table before them and walked away to get in line for a coffee. Rikku only giggled and dipped into the bag to pull out a chocolate. Yuna laughed.

"You think she liked it?"

Rikku nodded. "Oh yeah."

Paine returned a few moments later with a small coffee. She took off her messenger bag and sat on the bench opposite both Yuna and Rikku. Rikku noticed this and began to smile.

She hadn't yet decided if her amusement was misplaced.

"So, Pypo….how was your day?"

Yuna admired how the blonde had masked her teasing with a believable sincerity.

Paine looked up from her coffee and raised an eyebrow. "How's it going Yuna?"

The cousins laughed and Rikku scooted over in the round table till she was seated beside Paine. She put her arm around her torso and smiled. "Did you like the first part of your gift?"

Paine sighed and put her coffee down. "No." She smiled though and nudged Rikku lightly. It was as far as she would allow herself to go with the on campus PDA. The kiss earlier in the week had definitely drawn some attention to the two, now the candy gram…. Paine was just being cautious. She didn't want Rikku catching any more slack when it came to school. She still noticed the looks some students who heard gave her. While the blonde had gotten good at ignoring it, Paine hadn't.

Feeling satisfied with the small gesture Rikku pulled her hand back to her lap and glanced at Yuna before directing Paine again. "Tidus got Yunie one, and they snuck up on her and she nearly had a heart attack!"

"The heart and the hot dog?" Paine asked Yuna amusedly.

"Is it a hot dog?" Yuna laughed. "I thought it was a vein."

"Who fucking knows."

"So look I know you like chocolates so I got the chocolate goody bag." Rikku motioned to the sack of candy in the middle of the table. "It's Paine's first Valentine." Rikku nodded at Yuna. It was clear she was very proud of herself.

"Rikku." Paine rubbed at her cheek as if to rub the blush away.

"It's okay Paine, technically it's mine too. I was never with someone around this time of the year." Yuna nodded. She wore a sad little smile.

"How is _that_ going anyway?" Paine asked. That referring to her situation with Tidus.

"He's avoiding the conversation."

"I would too if I were him." Paine shook her head.

"Why do you say that?" Yuna asked genuinely interested to hear Paine's side of it.

"Well no one wants to talk about breaking up, especially if you guys are on good terms. No one lied or cheated or anything so, who wants to deal with that?" Paine took a sip of her coffee.

"He's just not understanding, and that's frustrating." Yuna played with the fringe of her flowing top. "He really leaves me no choice when he acts like this."

"I think you should cut him a break," Paine concluded. Rikku gave her a look. "I'm just saying that he has to move right? To somewhere where he doesn't know anyone and has to say goodbye to everything, including his girlfriend. It's got to be rough."

"Yeah…." Yuna nodded. "Well in other news I got another offer from your agency."

Paine gave a sort of snort in amusement as she sipped her coffee. "My agency?"

"Well you're a working model now."

"Not until March."

"Are you going to accept the offer?" Rikku asked. It was a welcome change in conversation for the three.

"I think I may actually take it." Yuna announced with more confidence than her usual mood had let her. "Lulu's agency is really trying but you guys offer benefits and more room for creativity, plus the pay is nice. Rikku did I tell you I was looking at places, and I was thinking that I would need a roommate to supplement living expenses and such."

Rikku's face brightened. "Oh my gosh do you wanna be roomies!?"

"I knew you would like the idea."

Paine shook her head as the two went on to speak of their not so bachelorette pad in the heart of the city, and what would match and what wouldn't match and where the family armoire would go because they simply would not dare leave it with their irresponsible father's. Paine went back to her own thoughts. Outwardly she seemed to be deep into her textbook. Which Paine would admit she should have been. There would be a short quiz when she got into class later. All this talk about the future just made her fret though, in the distant but not too distant future she would no longer be cradled by academia, she was supposed to be an upstanding citizen and pay taxes and all that good stuff. Paine was almost certain she could do this just as long as she got to do something to let out her frustrations. She had decided that it would be trying to receive her sixth dan degree in Judo. Her belt was currently black with yellow symbols noting her second dan, but being at the dojo last weekend had really caught Paine with the fighting fever again. She wanted to get to the highest dan her body would let her. Sixth to eight got red and black belts but nine and ten got a badass solid red that Paine knew would look awesome on her. She blamed this minor thought process on Rikku. She was constantly telling her that red was her color. Anyway it was just the calm that fighting gave her; it was this out of body experience where she just went along for the ride. It did wonders for her temper as a youth and Paine knew it would help her stay on the right path as she grew older and had to deal with life's ups and downs.

This was the main reason for her going again Sunday morning. She needed her body in the right shape for whatever this therapy session brought. Martha had mentioned that she would clear her day, which meant she would be preparing for it too. It almost felt like going into surgery, with all the pre op checkups and what not. Paine honestly didn't know what to expect. She glanced up from her book when she heard Rikku's feathery laughter.

"….Yunie no! That's horrible!"

Yuna laughed too. "Planning is horrible?"

"Oh my gosh!"

Paine looked back down to her textbook. She didn't want to think of the weekend just yet. It was Valentine's Day for fucks sake, shouldn't she be doing something? That thought in its self reminded Paine of something.

Rikku

She had something planned, but the events of the last month had completely thrown her for a loop, she was only human so these sorts of romantic things that she wasn't used to doing was cast aside from more pressing issues. Until now that is.

"Good luck." Rikku waved to Yuna as she got up

"See ya Yuna." Paine gave the other woman a head nod and then turned to Rikku. "Making plans huh?"

Rikku giggled. "Oh please, you weren't listening to a word we were saying, if you were you would have a few things to say."

Paine chuckled lightly. "So we gonna talk house rules?"

Rikku pretended to zip her mouth closed and throw the key away. She smiled that Bayla smile of hers, the one that said she was innocent until proven guilty which she would never be because she was a Bayla. "So what were you thinking about all quiet like? I know it wasn't my candy gram."

Paine shook her head. "Now my hot TA knows I'm taken."

Rikku laughed. "Well I hate to get in the way of a budding romance."

"It was sweet, annoying, but sweet. Thank you."

"Aw you're welcome."

"I know I am."

Rikku touched Paine's face and the two shared a quick moment. Their eyes locked and Rikku sighed contently. There was still this thing about locking eyes with Paine's smoldering dark crimson ones that made her feel warm and so safe, so loved. For Paine Rikku's eyes reminded her of carefree days, of happy things, it made her feel light.

She could kiss her.

So Paine leaned forward and did just that. It was a quick little peck that the blonde wasn't even expecting.

Rikku blinked with surprise and it was the cutest look to Paine. She stood just then and gathered her things. "I'll see you later babe." Paine said as she pulled her messenger bag over her shoulder. Rikku just smiled up at her.

"Don't forget your candy."

Paine chuckled and grabbed the sack of candy while shaking her head. Her girlfriend knew exactly what to do to mess with her in all the right ways. The bag was too big to put in her messenger bag, it also contained mostly of chocolate so Paine couldn't leave it in her car. She had to carry it around as a constant reminder that she was loved. "I work till close tonight."

"I'll bring you dinner." Rikku nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I was planning on doing it anyway."

"Okay."

Rikku reached for Paine's hand and squeezed it before letting it go. They shared a look and then Paine went off to her next class where she was certain she was not ready for the quiz at all. It didn't matter. She smiled anyway; the weight in her hands proof enough that she was more fortunate than most.

**AN: As you probably can tell the next chapter is going to be a rough one for our favorite silver haired badass. Give me a little time to work through this one as I am heading back to school next week, but in the meantime you can leave me a review! **

**KathleenDee **


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter Forty Five **

Rikku watched Paine with a soft smile on her face. "Are you sure you don't want help Pypo?" Paine looked up from the red tent she was fighting with. Her dark silver hair was hidden by her black thermal hood and she was wearing baby blue basketball shorts and flip flops. She shook her head no and continued to grow frustrated.

They were on Paine's rooftop.

The model slash judo fighter had brought Rikku here after Rikku brought her dinner at work. Paine thought of all the sweet things Rikku had done for her that day and sighed. It was cold, and she didn't think of herself as a romantic person at all, but god damnit if this tent didn't do what it was supposed to real soon she'd pitch it off the roof and be done with the whole holiday.

Rikku shook her head and clutched the blanket in her arms that Paine had given her to hold. She too was wearing a thin thermal and some capri styled sweat pants. The night was dark and surprisingly quiet on the street below. People were either rushing home or already home with their loves. She could see little caps of snow still present on windowsills and adjacent rooftops. It would melt away soon though. Today had been the warmest day yet.

"Okay." Paine stood and examined the cozy twenty dollar tent she picked up last week. She had wondered around the mall for at least an hour trying to be inspired, finally she grew frustrated and left, yet on the way out was this two person tent, and it was red too! From there everything just seemed to flow. Paine walked over to Rikku who seemed a little spaced out."Are you real cold? I can put this up in my room if you want." She took the blanket from the blonde's arms.

Rikku looked back at her. "No no, this is fine…Are we camping out here?"

Paine nodded and raised an eyebrow ever so slightly to see if there was any resistance, when she got none she smiled. It meant that Rikku was still well curious as to what she planned. Paine moved to lift the flap. "I mean it looks pretty cool…kinda." Paine put the blanket down over a few towels and sleeping bags then checked the corners of the tent for insulation. "C'mon in, I'll be right back okay?"

Rikku nodded with a little laugh. "I didn't know you city girls liked to camp." She crawled in with Paine and smiled at her girlfriend in the dark. It was actually a lot cozier than it looked on the outside.

"Meh." Paine shrugged and then returned a second later with two more blankets and a few pillows. She left again then for some time. Rikku was just about to worry when she heard the hard clanking of the metal door to the rooftop open and close. Paine opened the flap a second later holding a lit kerosene lamp and a few other things tucked under her arms and wrapped with her hoody. "Hey baby." She whispered as she entered the tent.

Rikku's eyes caught the flame. "Oh that's so cool, where did you get it?"

Paine set the lamp down before Rikku making sure that it was on level ground. "Some pawn shop a few years back, it'll help warm up in here some." Paine turned to close the flap behind her and the smiled when Rikku made room for her to sit close to her. They both stretched out their legs and Rikku wiggled her feet playfully before looking at Paine.

Paine began to unravel whatever she was holding in her arms. "So I brought my hoody cause it might get a little colder and then…" She handed Rikku the article of clothing. "and then socks." Paine handed Rikku a pair of thick wool socks, and rested another one aside for herself. "Then this." Paine pulled a velvety pink candy box with a white bow on it. Between the tied ribbon was a thin envelope with Rikku's name written on it in Paine's handwriting. "Happy Valentine's Day Princess."

"Aw, Pai." Rikku opened the candy first and began to grin, her girlfriend knew her so well it wasn't even funny anymore. Nestled in between soft paper wrappers were a dozen artisanal chocolate truffles.

"They didn't have jelly beans." Paine added as she misread the look on Rikku's face. The kerosene lamp really did make her look gorgeous though.

"These look so yummy, are they all different flavors? Wait, is this from that place in the mall; Oliva? "

"You like it?"

"Of course I do." Rikku leaned forward and pecked Paine quickly. "Here…share one with me?"

Paine chuckled, "you can use my card as a napkin."

Rikku stopped what she was doing and placed the delicate chocolates down and made a show of opening up the card. She chuckled at the goofy little cartoon on the insides and then cleared her throat. "Dear Rikku, Happy Valentine's Day, love Paine….wait, that's it?" She looked up at Paine who only shrugged.

"I just wrote it." She admitted.

"No romantic poem, no singing and dancing hearts and veins—"

"Hot dogs?"

"Right."Rikku grinned though. "I love how simple you are sometimes."Paine could given her a card made out of macaroni and she would have loved it, she was such a sap.

"Well, I love you."

Rikku waved the card about with a laugh. "I know, I read it in the card." Paine leaned forward and stole a kiss before looking back to a small box still tucked under her arm.

"Em let me borrow this." She motioned to it and then pulled out a small portable Sphere DVD player, "and I'm real tired but I figured I can get through one or two of your movies tonight." She pulled out three choices of the classics.

Rikku's smile softened. "You wanna watch a black and whites with me?"

Paine nodded. "I'm trying to be romantic here, I know a lot of other people—"

Rikku shook her head and let her fingertips graze Paine's cheek. "Forget about other people, they don't matter."

"I just wanna make you happy." Paine shrugged a little. It all just came down to that.

Rikku nodded and leaned the small distance to press a soft kiss to her even softer lips.. "I am."

"Good." They shared another short kiss before the duo cuddled up and put in Hello Molly, a romantic comedy musical made decades ago that had even Paine humming the tunes when she did dishes.

Paine woke up a few hours later in the dark. She instinctively moved to hold her arms closer to her body, but the action only served to pull the blonde she was spooning closer. Paine blinked a few times to get used to the absence of light. The kerosene lamp had been turned off and Rikku was in her socks and Paine's hoody now. Paine nodded at her work, it had dropped a few degrees and she didn't want Rikku to get sick. The tent was still cozy though, Paine could make out the red material surrounding them from distant roof top lights. Several cars went by on the street below and Paine sighed then burrowed her cold nose into Rikku's warm neck.

It was her sigh that woke her though.

Rikku blinked and darted her eyes about until she remembered she was safe. She relaxed against the warm blankets and tried to scoot back into Paine's warm body more. It was unreliable that someone as slender as Paine was generated body heat like this, Rikku loved it though. She briefly wondered if Paine ever got over heated during the night.

"You awake?" Paine whispered onto Rikku's neck; her hot breath making Rikku shiver a little. The big spoon took it as a sign of being cold and cuddled closer, making sure her right leg was hooked with Rikku's two.

Rikku sniffled once. "Mhm."

"You wanna go downstairs now?"

"I don't wanna leave you." Rikku said sleepily.

"I'd come with you, cause you're my girl, I'd come with you."

Something happened when either one of them was half awake. Rikku liked to call it sweet nothings when it came to Paine. Why? Well it was simple, Paine just got real sweet and mushy when she was sleepy, maybe it was sweet _something's_, because she knew how the taller woman felt about her, often times it was just her Paineness that would get in the way during normal hours.

Rikku tugged gently at Paine's arm. "I wanna stay with you."

Paine nodded and held her tighter."Okay…"

"….cause I love you." Rikku smiled when Paine squeezed her softly, it was like no matter the position they were in they seemed to fit together like matching puzzle pieces.

It was something else all together when Rikku was sleepy too.

"I love you too, Baby."

"How much?"

"So much that I don't want anyone else ever."

"That much?"

Paine nodded. "So don't leave okay?"

Rikku's sleepy smile faded a little and she turned to face Paine whose eyes were not surprisingly, closed. They opened though at the new position. "I could never do that."Paine didn't say anything. "Pypo." She raised her eyebrow slightly. "I could never just leave."

"So don't."

"You think I could?"

"I'm just happy to be with you."

"You really think that way?"

Paine sighed realizing somewhere in her head what she had done. "I love you….I don't love a lot of things, that's why I'm so careful with my hair."

Rikku couldn't help but giggle because she was being serious right now. "You love your hair more than you love me?" She asked in a quiet tone.

Paine hugged her closer even though it was kind of impossible at this point. "I love you the most." She whispered. "I'll never stop doing that, sometimes though I get into my own head and think that you might." She said honestly. "My problems won't just go away; I don't want you to get tired…." Paine sniffled lightly because f the weather. "I'm tired myself, I'm tired."

Rikku shook her head. "How can I get tired of you? How?" Rikku shook her head. "Get out of that big head of yours kay? Cause when you love someone like how I love you… It's like all of a sudden you believe in magic, or Yevon, or the faith, cause there could be no other explanation of how we came to be." She tugged at Paine's arm in the dark. "We are gonna make it."

Paine yawned lightly. "So you believe in Yevon now?"

Rikku smiled. "No."

A small smile grazed Paine's sleepy features but then disappeared. "Everyone gets tired, babe. I know your superwoman and all, but…"

"Shhh. This tent has no room for your pessimistic views."

Paine nodded and just enjoyed the feeling of being this close to someone. "I never said I'd let you leave anyway…" Rikku smiled.

"Stop it."

"Hm?"

"Doubting us, you know we're gonna be together forever, so just deal with it."

Paine laughed a little. "Yes Baby."

##

Paine watched her quietly as she sipped her coffee in her kitchen Saturday morning. It wasn't a creepy sort of gaze; it was more of admiring one. She had to give Rikku major respect points for being the bigger person when it came to the situation with Gippal. She and her best friend really needed to have a talk because what happened while she was in the hospital could never happen again.

Especially if they were going to be together forever….

Gippal nodded. "Aha, see that, now it's the right consistency…"

"Like this?" Rikku asked wrinkling her brow cutely as she lifted the whisk from the mixing bowl.

"Yeah, here now fold in the butter." Gippal Trent was dressed casually in gray hockey sweat pants and a white under shit. His hair hadn't been spiked yet. It was agreed upon by everyone in the house that they were going to have a lazy morning. That didn't stop Rikku from looking cute in another one of Paine's shirts and her own red shorts and knee high socks, Paine noted.

"I'm starving." Elma announced as she sauntered into the kitchen in her robe, her hair a somber brown today. Paine wondered if it was the natural hue of her friend's hair. "Are you guys done yet?" She plopped herself on the breakfast stool beside Paine and motioned to her coffee.

"Here." Paine handed her the other cup she had poured for her when she found out she was awake.

"Oh praise be to you Paine." She accepted the cup quickly.

"We're almost done huh. Cid's girl has to learn technique, all these little fuckers coming up now wanna be chefs and they don't even know how to peel an onion." Gippal shook his head and went back to coaching Rikku on how to make Al Bhed swirly pancakes the right way. "More spice." He nodded when he dipped his finger in the batter to taste.

"Yevon at this rate we won't eat." Elma joked and then looked to Paine. "So how was the camping? Romantic?"

Rikku chuckled. "Pypo had two pieces of chocolate and got fifteen minutes into the movie before passing out."

Gippal laughed. "Dr. P what's up? You didn't take my advice?"

"If you gave her advice she was smart not to take it." Elma teased.

Paine shook her head. "Next time Gip."

Rikku tilted her head curiously. "What advice?"

"I told her to fu—"

"You guys almost done?" Paine asked giving her best friend a look that Rikku caught and chuckled.

"Yes please, no one wants to hear about that." Elma joked and took another sip of her coffee. "Speaking of which, where is Nooj?"

"Went to some herbal retreat for the weekend." Gippal shrugged as he opened up a cap of mixed spices and dashed some into the batter Rikku was mixing.

"So he went to smoke pot in the woods and listen to campfire stories?" Elma asked.

"I don't know why he needs to leave the house to do it." Paine shook her head.

"I know! We got a hookah, we got a bong."

"Maybe he just wants to get away from you guys." Rikku shrugged and Paine laughed a little at Gippal and Elma's expression.

"Well what's wrong with us Cid's girl?"

Rikku shrugged and stopped Gippal from adding any more spices. "Well Paine is hardly home to talk to—"

"Not my fault your house is awesome." Paine said into her cup.

"And you guys are always fighting or not here, poor guy must get lonely."

"Em and I aren't always fighting," Gippal defended.

"Um, you forgot this morning?" Elma shook her head.

"We're not always fighting!"

"We are!"

Paine glanced at Rikku and the blonde laughed. She went back to giving the batter a final stir before turning to make sure her pan was hot enough. "Pypo, Oui'mm ryja uha un dfu?"

Paine leaned forward to look at the batter while Elma and Gippal argued about how they did or didn't argue. "Three, please."

Rikku glanced back at her. "You gonna eat all of it?" Paine nodded and Rikku turned to make three decent sized swirly pancakes. Maybe an appetite on Paine was good for this weekend.

Elma finally stood; agitation clear on her features. "I'll come down when Rikku here is finished." She disappeared with her coffee.

Paine gave Gippal a look. "Why do you do that?" She said above a whisper so Elma, who was now climbing the stairs couldn't hear.

"What?" Gippal raised his hands.

"Just agree with her maybe once a day or something. Fuck"

"Arguing like that; that's no way to show you care." Rikku added.

"I stopped caring a long time ago." Gippal crossed his arms a puffed out his chest a little.

Paine huffed. "Is that the same time you started lying to yourself too?"

Gippal deflated and glanced to the staircase. "What the hell is wrong with me then huh?" He ran a hand through her blonde hair.

"I think she wants you to grow up a little." Paine said honestly.

Gippal sighed. "Alright, since you're getting' it in more than me…" He glanced at Rikku who was playing fly on the wall. "I just don't know what she wants, I can't give her anything else y'know? Shit, she wants to cuddle, fine did that shit…"

"We're not cuddlers." Paine nodded. By nature she just wasn't a touchy feely person and she knew her best friend wasn't either. Make no delusions about Paine Kerrigan, sure she was able to be that way with Rikku now, but it really took a lot for her to extend it beyond that.

"I know! So see I'm doing shit already for her, I make her food all the time, I opened the door for her…What else?"

"That's surface stuff. What do you guys talk about?"

"Talk about?"

"Yeah, like…" Paine scratched her scalp in thought for a second. "Rikks?"

"Hm?" Rikku turned and looked at her.

"What do we talk about?"

The blonde bit her lip for a second and turned back to the stove. "We talk about our days, something funny or sad or something…I ask about your workouts…I dunno Pai we just talk about everything. Whatever's going, what's important to us."

"Ask her about the hospital or something." Paine offered. "She's got her boards coming up right?"

"Yeah in like six months."

"Well I mean…look, if you want her…"Paine gave Gippal a look and he nodded.

"I can't though Dr. P. You wanna know the difference here? Between you and Cid's girl?"

Paine picked up her coffee cup. "What?"

Gippal shook his head and turned to make himself a cup of coffee. Paine didn't need him to say anything though; she already knew it was the drugs. Elma was going to be a doctor for crying out loud. There was no room for him in her life. Paine knew from conversations with her that she was a very driven person; nothing was going to slow her down, not even love. Paine sighed when Gippal left the kitchen for his room after making coffee. She cared for her buddy but she couldn't be bothered right now. Paine shook her head at herself.

Upon hearing a small sigh Rikku turned and examined her for a moment before going back to cooking. "What do you want to do today, Paine?"

Paine picked her head up. "Um…I got laundry, but nothing. I don't want to do anything today." She really needed to be in the right mindset for tomorrow. She had already decided that she wasn't going to touch a textbook over the weekend. No, today was a lazy day; she could feel it in her bones. Finally something hit her and she sighed again, this time in her head. "You wanna do something today?"

Rikku pilled the three pancakes onto a plate and turned to place it in front of Pine. "No, to be honest I just wanna go back to sleep….on a bed."

Paine smiled a little. "Thank you for these." She motioned to her plate and reached for the syrup. "So after breakfast let's just, y'know lay up."

And that's exactly what they did. They ate breakfast and then climbed the stairs to Paine's room and passed out for a couple hours. Paine woke to the sound of Rikku's cell phone going off. She untangled herself from the blondes hold and picked it up on her desk and practically threw herself back in bed successfully waking Rikku up in the process.

"AH! No stop, c'mon Dr. P, that's not nice." Rikku whined as she tried to claim some of the space Paine had stolen with her long limbs.

"Your phone."

"Leave it."

"It's your father."

"Okay so throw it on the ground or something, I'm still sleeping." She had a hard week of school and a lot on her mind, she didn't care to be bothered with anything at this point. Not even her father. The Al Bhed snuggled back into her pillow and yawned. She could feel Paine's eyes on her for a moment before she felt Paine move to throw her phone on the floor. Thank the faith she had carpet. "I didn't mean literally…" Her voice muffled by her comfort.

Paine smiled to herself and turned her body to face Rikku and put an arm around her back before closing her eyes again. It was funny to the both of them how they grew so accustomed to sleeping close in Paine's bed; limbs overlapping and everything. Who said a twin was too small? Not even a minute passed before the phone went off again. Paine didn't even move she could feel Rikku take a large annoyed breath before she felt a small nudge in her side.

"They opened me up there." Paine reminded feeling the small itch that came with removing the stent two months ago.

"I'm sorry Pypo" She cleared her throat. "…Can you pick my phone up for me please?"

Paine sighed and rolled over to search the ground. She slowly got out of bed and walked over to Rikku's overnight bag in its permanent spot next to Paine's baseball bat that was cleaned up against the wall in a corner. Her phone had somehow made it all the way over there. "Here"

Rikku blindly reached her hand out to take her phone then brought it to her ear. "Pops…." Paine sighed and decided that she probably couldn't get back to sleep if she tried. It was around two in the afternoon. She started gathering her clothes for laundry. "What do you mean where am I?...Well I mean you haven't asked me that in like, years." Rikku sighed and rolled over onto her back. "I slept over at Paine's, Pop…..What does it matter?...Mhm…Is Yunie going?...So it's tonight then?...Do I have to go?...Well I know I am but I….Yes….."Rikku glanced at Paine slowly moving about the room. "I know I know….okay, yeah I'll just call Yunie and we will show up together hm?...Bye Pops." Rikku hung up and sighed. "That's a white." She motioned when she noticed Paine staring at a light gray shirt in deep concentration. She tossed it in the whites pile.

"Thanks."

Rikku frowned a little. "What's wrong?" She had a pretty clear idea on what most of Paine's tones meant. That "thanks" didn't sound too kosher to her.

Paine shrugged. "Just remembered what today is." She came to sit on the side of the bed and Rikku sat up.

"What's today?"

"Well today is Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday…"

"I know you're nervous."

"I never tried to hide it."

"What's going on in your head?"

Paine sighed. "Nothing nothing, what did your father want?"

She decided not to push. Rikku rolled her eyes in an annoyed manner. "Well for starters he wanted to know where I was."

"You didn't tell him you were staying over?"

"I never had to before."

"Well maybe he was worried, what's tonight?"

"Annual business dinner at the firm. Since I haven't actually sold my half yet to uncle B, and since my last name is Bayla, I have to go."

"Let me guess." Paine stood and continued to rally up her clothes. "Prefixed three course meal, you pick the chicken or the salmon, dessert is something dumb like a rice pudding."

Rikku chuckled. "Yup, I'm going to try and look as boring as possible…it's the dress code y'know?"

"Boring?"

"Mhm, Yunie and I go every year, we kind of have to. Brother used to go before he left." Rikku pressed a finger to her lower lip as an afterthought. "Yunie is not going to be happy about it, I just know it."

"Why is that?"

"Tonight she and Tidus have a date and y'know… a talk."

"She still going to break up with him?"

Rikku shrugged and laid back down on her back. "Last I heard she wasn't going to." Rikku stretched herself out. "What you said yesterday really got to her I guess. I dunno."

"What do you think she should do?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"I think she should cut it now so she has time to heal before she's pushed into the real world. I know my cousin, and don't get me wrong I adore Teedus for her, but we've had talks, and she cried a few times and it's just so messy that she will need time. She really does love him…"

"I don't see why the long distance things couldn't work." Paine tied her laundry bag up and placed it by the door. "If they really love one another…"

"It's not about that Pypo."

"Well if not that then what should it be about?"

"You're forgetting that Tidus wants her to go with him, and even if they stay together but apart he's always going to hold that over her. The fact that she said no so easily bothers him, and it should, but it's like a tumor, it'll grow and they will argue and it's gonna ruin what special things they have."

"You've thought a lot about this huh?"

It was a nice distraction from her own reality.

"I have, I try to stay neutral when talking to Yunie though."

Paine was searching under her bed for the laundry soap now. "Don't get in the middle of it."

Rikku shook her head. "I know, I'm trying not to, but she's my Yunie."

She found her soap and placed it by her laundry bag. "Yeah but you don't want to be the reason for her decision, resentment will grow."

"I know…"

"So when do you want me to drop you home? It's tonight right so you need like five hours to get ready at least?" Paine joked.

"I'm looking boring tonight not sexy."

"Three hours?"

"Paine Kerrigan."

"Rikku Bayla."

Rikku smiled. "I don't wanna leave yet." She really did just enjoy being boring with Paine. Doing normal couple things like sleeping in and making each other breakfast, maybe go out and do something like they use to. Now a day's things were just to real for them to really have some time to just be young and in love. Last night was nice, Rikku knew Paine had been going all day but for her to take some time and just be with her albeit asleep, well it meant a lot to the blonde.

Paine sat on the bed beside her. "Well I know for a fact showing up tomorrow naked will be a bad idea so I'm going to do laundry."

"Can I sleep here?"

Paine nodded. "Of course. How did you sleep last night?"

"Mmm, so so, it helped that you were so cuddly though."

"Was I?"

Rikku nodded, a laugh tickling her throat. "You really were it was so sweet."

"I think I was just cold."

"Nah I don't think so, keep on telling yourself that though."

"Sorry I wasn't more awake y'know…" Paine scratched the back of her head. I know it was Valentine's day and stuff."

Rikku smiled. "I appreciated the thought, Pai. We don't need to have sex every night for me to know that you love me, that you want me."

"We could though." Paine smirked, her tone dropped just a little. "Set some kind of record…."

Rikku laughed, "Oh please."

"Whoa whoa whoa, you think I can't perform?" She raised an eyebrow. "Is that what it is?"

"You're such an idiot." She continued to laugh.

"They don't call me Dr. P for nothing."

"Why exactly do they call you Dr. P?"

"Cause these hands?" she held up her hands and wiggled her fingers. "Can cure… you know." Paine nodded in Rikku's direction with a smug grin.

Rikku only laughed and it caused Paine to laugh a little too. She leaned forward and stole a kiss on the cheek before standing. "Go do your laundry." Rikku waved.

"I'll be back before you know it."

"Take your cell phone."

"I have it, bye, Princess." Paine grabbed everything and headed downstairs after Rikku blew her a kiss.

##

"Please focus on the road and not your shoes." Yuna reminded as she and her cousin headed over to the annual business dinner of The Law offices of Bayla and Shaw. It was around six something at night and it was already dark thanks to the season.

Rikku furrowed her brows as she finally brought her eyes back on the road. "I swore I left them in my here…."

"They aren't back here or in the trunk." Yuna extended her seatbelt so she was able to turn and look back. "Are they at Paine's?"

"They might be…ugh." She asked her cousin to hand her he phone and when she did she car phoned her girlfriend. The music stopped and a dial tone began. Three rings went by until Paine's voice came on in surround sound.

"Bayla."

"Kerrigan."

"What's up?"

"Are you still home or did you leave already?"

"I'm still home, why, what did you leave?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "I didn't _leave_ anything; I just need you to check your room for my shoes."

Paine sighed and she could be heard climbing the stairs to her room. "Which ones, you have like three pairs here….that I can see."

"Three? Really?"

"Mhm, some sandals—"

"Are they brown with a strappy thingy?"

"Uh…sure."

"Okay what else?"

"Sneakers, and some heels."

"What color are the heels?"

"Red."

"….No other ones? Check your closet."

"Rikku why—"

"Yunie and I are on our way to this dinner thing and if I can swing by and get the shoes that I want before we pass your exit then I will be a very happy girlfriend."

"What are you wearing now?"

"Socks…"

Paine shook her head and opened her closet. "What am I looking for?"

"A pair of manolo blahnik high heels, black."

"What the fuck is a manolo blahink? You really think I'm going to know what they look like?"

"Pypo they are probably the only black heels over there stop being dramatic"

"Dramatic is wearing socks to drive in hopes that your shoes are in your car, that's dramatic you could put shoes on an entire orphanage if you wanted to."

"Well you have one too many V-necks."

"Yeah that I can't find for shit now that you started taking them, and another thing—"

"C'mon tell me how you feel; I hope that you are still looking though."

"You can no longer use my brush, you leave hair in it."

"You never use that thing!"

"Well I wanted to today but now I can't."

"It's just hair it's not going to eat you."

"…I found them, bye." Paine hung up.

Rikku ended the call and put her indicator on to turn off on exit 17. "I swear she talks as if I am that difficult to deal with, she should date herself…" Rikku grumbled as she drove.

"You two really need to get married already." Yuna laughed.

"Why?"

"Well for one all of your shoes would be in one place." Yuna laughed.

"I'll run it by her."

##

"Yunie thinks we should get married." Rikku grinned as Paine handed her shoes through the driver's side window. "Thoughts?"

Paine raised an eyebrow and then looked to Yuna. "Don't encourage her."

The two cousins laughed and Rikku grabbed hold of Paine's arm just for the sake of touching her. "Don't drink too much tonight." Paine sighed. "I mean it; cause then you'll miss Judo and be all out of sorts okay?" She gave Paine a sincere look and the older woman nodded.

"Alright, you guys have fun at your boring dinner."

"We will."

"Our plan is to just go eat, smile and leave."

Yuna nodded. "We should be home like mmmm ten thirty the latest?"

Rikku nodded at her cousin. "Sounds good to me." She turned to Paine again and leaned forward and Paine placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

"Drive safe."

"I will." Rikku winked and then turned to Yuna. "Ready?"

"Bye Paine, have fun tonight for the both of us."

Paine stepped away from the car and put her hands in her pockets as they drove off. She shook her head and went back inside to get ready for her night out with Gippal and Lai.

##

Rikku rubbed her eyes. "Hewwlo?" She answered her phone.

"Babe!"

"Paine?"

"I'm home now."

"You sound wasted."

"I'm not."

"It was fun? Did you have fun?"

"Yeah it was cool, I'm fucking tired though and I wish you were here…"

Rikku smiled into her pillow. She was drunk. "I wish you were here too..."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm, I miss my mushy girlfriend."

Paine laughed. "Well I was figuring we could start trying to break that record…."

Rikku laughed this time. "Go to bed _Dr. P_."

"I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow for brunch right?"

"Mhm mhm mhm."

Rikku chuckled. "Bye."

"Bye, Princess."

##

"Martha St. Bernard"

"Keira Kerrigan, nice to meet you." Keira shook the elderly woman's hand. Martha glanced at her hand when they separated. "I'm sorry I'm just a bit nervous." Keira's face colored, sweaty palms ran in the family, she really hated that.

"It's alright. I'm actually glad you got my voicemail. I wanted you to come in a bit early so we could have a chance to talk before Paine arrives."

"Right, of course." She sat down once Martha motioned to a chair slightly diagonal to her; she assumed the other one was for Paine.

Martha began looking through her files. "It really is uncanny how much the two of you look alike." She pulled Paine's file out and nodded as she checked a few things over.

Keira nodded slowly. "Would you like to see her as a baby? It's real silly but I carry this picture everywhere."

Martha found that particular fact very telling. "Of course." The old woman actually smiled at the picture of nine month old Paine. "That certainly looks like her." She looked up at Keira and tilted her head. "How old are you Keira? May I call you that?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm thirty nine a few months ago."

"Are you married?"

"No no…"

Martha took a seat in her chair and Keira in hers. "Involved with anyone?"

"Not since I moved here, no."

"Have any other children besides Paine?"

Keira rubbed her hands together nervously. "No, Paine Amelia is my only child." She felt somewhat out of place saying it like that. "I mean she's the only ...child I've gave birth to."

Martha nodded. "I understand what you mean."

"Right, I just…to be honest I think she hates me."

"Mm." Martha leaned forward a little.

"I would hate me too I mean, growing up I had parents who were there but weren't, I mean I ran away from home for Yevon's sake and it kills me that I turned around and did the same to my daughter, I ran away from her."

"You couldn't take care of her."

"I could have tried harder."

Martha sat back in her chair at that. "Regardless of how Paine feels about the situation, from one mother to another, you did what was right for her, at the time, now granted somewhere things got blurred, and you only a child yourself…. But before anything else goes on here today I want you to stand behind you position, because you did what was right for her. Paine will say otherwise, but she's an intelligent young woman, she probably already knows that you did what you could. She is just hurt. I have been seeing your daughter since she just turned 17, and I know that it isn't a lack of understanding in her, it's the pain she feels that gets her the most. It's why she's angry, not the decision, but the reality that comes along with it. Now I cannot tell you what we talk about in here, I will leave that to her, but this room is where she says she has felt most safe, respect that, and her, and I think today will be a very nurturing day for the both of you."

##

Paine cleared her throat again and wiped her hands onto her jeans at the red light. "Are you sure we didn't forget anything?" She glanced at Rikku who was texting in the passenger seat beside her.

Rikku pulled the large purse between her legs open and went through all of her stuff. "No, Water, gum, wallet….wait what was I supposed to bring anyway?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know I feel like we are forgetting something….maybe we should go back…"

Rikku sighed when she realized what was going on. "Drive the car, we're not turning back."

"I don't feel good." Paine winced to emphasize.

"You're nervous."

"Well okay but do you think we forgot something?"

"Baby."

"Hm?"

"It's going to be okay." Rikku placed her hand on Paine's upper thigh and rubbed it gently. "Alright?"

Paine didn't say anything she just sighed again. They drove in silence like that for a block or two. 'I don't know what I want."

"What do you mean?" Rikku asked while noticing Paine press her lips together and slouch just a little.

"From her, from my mother…I don't know what I want from her."

"This is the first step in realizing that, you both have to talk first Paine."

Paine sighed again and she glanced at Rikku before wordlessly taking her hand in her right and driving with her left. She left it at that.

##

"I'm here to see Martha." Paine told the woman at the front desk. Rikku was rubbing her back in that supportive way of hers. Paine was glad for it, all she really wanted to do was run, but she couldn't do that anymore. It was time to end this thing, or at least try to.

"Right, Paine, let me go and see if she is ready for you, it won't be a second."

"Thank you." Paine turned to Rikku and sighed heavily.

"You can do this." The blonde nodded. "I'm right out here okay?"

"Paine?" the secretary called and Paine turned to acknowledge her.

"She's ready for you, and your mother is in there already."

"Already?" Paine asked. "I thought that…" She bit her lip and turned to Rikku. "Can you come in there with me Rikks?" Paine searched her eyes quickly and relaxed when Rikku nodded. She had been telling herself that she could do it all day, but now when the time finally came she knew she needed someone in her corner.

"Uh, I'm sorry but we can only have you Paine."

Paine shook her head no. "I'm not going in there unless she comes with me." Her voice was firm and sure, the clearest it had been in hours.

"Oh…" The secretary eyed the two, "let me check with Dr. St. Bernard."

Paine nodded as the woman disappeared again. "Are you sure?" Rikku asked suddenly feeling a little nervous herself, she was surprised at Paine usually she never talked about what was said in that room. Rikku usually waited on this side until she was done, the blonde was okay with that, that's why she was so surprised at Paine's request.

The taller woman nodded. "Yes." Rikku locked eyes with her and took her hand.

Rikku let go of Paine's hand first, if she didn't she was sure her girl wouldn't let go, that's how nervous she seemed. Seeing Paine like this made Rikku rally everything in her to be that rock that her girlfriend needed. She deserved a hundred and ten percent and that's what Rikku was ready to give.

Martha stood when Paine entered the room first followed by Rikku. "Nice to see you Paine… and Rikku, it's nice to finally put a face to a name." She smiled at the blonde.

"I hope it's okay that she's here.." Paine trailed off when she saw Keira waiting patiently. Paine busied herself with showing Rikku the seat closest to the door leaving the middle seat for her, there was a safe amount of distance between her and Keira, Paine was thankful for it.

"Of course it is, she is everything you said she was Paine, a beauty indeed."

Rikku blushed and looked at Paine. "Sorry." Paine whispered.

"Of course there are some rules."

Rikku nodded. "I'm just here for support, I won't be in the way, I swear."

Keira watched the blonde; it was her first time being so up close to her. The pictures didn't do her justice she concluded. Gay or not gay, her daughter had good taste, though there seemed to be something else about her. She looked like all it took was a flick of a switch and she could be very unpleasant if pushed. Keira supposed it was the situation. She was being protective over Paine.

"Good good, Rikku this is Keira."

"Hi." Rikku waved.

"Hello."

"And we all know Paine." Martha nodded. "I think it's important for you to know, Paine, that Keira is not here to suddenly be your mother, it is clear to everyone that you have gotten on well enough to make it to where you are without one, granted a little misguided."

Paine nodded.

"I also think it's important for you, Keira to know that Paine is a very independent young woman, I am almost certain she is not looking to play the role of a daughter in the typical sense."

"Yes, I understand."

"Good, What I think should come from this is an understanding that everything is not going to be fixed in a day, it's also not going to be fixed in a week or a year, Keira there are things that I know will hurt you to learn about Paine, Paine I know there are things that will shock you to learn as well. Acknowledgement is important for both of you, what happened has happened and we all have to learn to try and live in someone else's shoes for right now. Fair?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

"So, Paine, this is your time, do you have anything you want to know, to ask, to share?"

"Um…" Paine glanced at Rikku who nodded. She then turned to Keira. "Like Martha said…. I don't need a mother…I needed one though, and it' going to take some time for me to just accept that things were a certain way, but I don't need someone in my life to tell me what to do…."Paine shrugged. "That's kinda why I have a girlfriend."

Rikku smiled.

"Looking at you…it just reminded me of all the things that happened to me, and that is really hard for me to deal with all at once." Paine glanced at Martha to signal she was done.

"Keira."

Keira straightened up a little. "I wouldn't know where to begin to tell you what to do Paine Amelia."

"Just Paine…please." Saying her middle name felt too personal to Paine, she didn't know this woman at all, and maybe she intended others to call her Paine Amelia when she was born, but things don't always turn out the way we plan them to.

Keira nodded quickly. "Paine. I was 18 when I had you and I thought I knew so much, but I didn't, and it hurts me to the bone to know that my actions changed you for the worse. I wanted nothing more for you than to have a family, one that I couldn't give you, one that Lulu had."

"He didn't want me though…"

Keira glanced at Martha then back to Paine. "You must know something about Paul, he is a very loving man, but like many who would turn their heads or mock your relationship with Rikku, he is scared of what he doesn't know."

Paine sat up a little and motioned to Rikku. "We're not here to talk about her, and you shouldn't take up for him."

"I'm not, but before we cast judgment I think that you should just know who he really is."

Paine looked down at her hands. "Well, he's not here is he? No so…"

"Let's focus on you and Paine, Keira." Martha nodded.

"Okay."

##

Rikku felt knots in her stomach and her heart beating fast, she had never seen Paine cry like this, not even the one night she came over drunk when she had learned the news of her parents. Her girlfriend was doubled over with her hands in her face crying and what made it even harder to sit here silently and take it was the fact that she was trying to finish her sentences but just couldn't. All she could do was rub her back soothingly and start to glare at Keira but then stopped every time, because she was crying too, and it was mean to glare at a woman who was so obviously torn apart.

Rikku glanced at Martha and wiped away a tear from her own face.

This was some heavy stuff.

##

Rikku jumped a little. "Paine." She whispered.

She had never seen her so angry either, her face was red and her fists clenched, even Martha seemed a little concerned and Keira seemed a little frightened herself.

"How am I supposed to even being to think about talking to you knowing this?" Paine growled.

She was a private person, she had always been that way, so to find out that Keira had taken it into her own hands to hire some random person to take pictures, it made her blood boil. She had no idea what the last year had been like, how unsafe it was to do that. How easily Bart's guys could have followed the camera man around to somehow find Gippal or her. Paine was realizing a lot through the time they had spent in the small room, a lot was cleared up but she couldn't just ignore the disrespect to her and probably Rikku's privacy. This wasn't okay.

##

"I just….it fucking sucks that you are here now…." Paine said calmly. She was emotionally spent and all she could do now was communicate like a normal human being, everything else just cost too much energy. "Because I finally came to terms with my life, and I thought I had it all figured out and I was at peace with myself. I really was."

"In Bevelle I thought I could make a life where nothing reminded me of my past, but every time I was alone I cried because I knew that I left, I did the one thing that I said I wouldn't do."

"Twenty one years though? You waited twenty one friggin years?"

"It was a mix of my pride and my shame that kept me away."

"So what made you come here?"

"The Grand Sphere Theatre, then that was when I saw you in the paper and I was floored, I suddenly felt so close, like we were breathing the same air, I needed to see you, but I didn't know how so…"

"So you paid someone to stalk me."

"I wasn't planning on approaching you; I just wanted to make sure that you were well…"

"I was, or…" Paine glanced at Rikku. "I was learning to be."

"I want to have a relationship with you Paine, which ever you want I just need to…"

"Make yourself feel better?"

"No, I need to do what is right, I need to do right by you, and I know that may mean nothing and I know you probably have someone to look to now but I owe you a childhood, one that I couldn't give to you then and can't give to you now but I owe you something."

"You do not owe me anything…."

"Well is it fair to say that I wish to know you." Keira's walls had been stripped down and anyone with eyes could see that she really and honestly wanted a shot. It pained Rikku a little to see her like that because she could understand that feeling, but then she knew Paine's confliction. N one was right, but then again no one was wrong. So who do you blame now?

Paine watched the clock on the wall for a second. "I don't know." She didn't want to give this woman false hope, she wasn't yet sure if she could or even would welcome her into her life. "I don't know." She repeated now facing Keira. She ran a hand through her hair and shrugged lightly. She looked at Martha and then Keira again. "Our time is up."

"But are you finished, Paine?" Martha asked. She was proud of Paine. In her line of work it was seldom that you get to see the end result of anything. Today she regressed, a lot, but she picked herself back up and put herself together right before Martha's very eyes and that was something that deserved real credit. Paine Kerrigan had control, and she could see that in her tired crimson eyes, she could see the recognition, the understanding. Nothing major had been solved here today, but the road way for both her and Keira's healing had been opened up. Which was more than Martha could have hoped for.

Paine nodded. "Yeah, I'm done."

##

"What is that?"

"What?"

"That pink stuff."

Paine squinted in the dark of Rikku's room. "It's salt."

"Pink salt? How come I don't have that?"

'It's Himalayan salt."

"Does it taste salty?"

""Yeah…cause its salt babe."

"Oh…'

"They got all kinds of colors."

Rikku glanced at Paine. "Of salts?"

Paine nodded. "Sugars too."

"Hm….You wanna watch Djose Shore after this?"

"That show is garbage."

"Like your face."

Paine chuckled lightly. "So you make out with garbage?"

Rikku began to giggle. She sighed contently when she was done and slipped an arm around Paine's flat midsection. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I say it all the time but….I'm really proud of you."

Paine looked down at Rikku. "You know what?"

"Hm?"

"Me too."

Rikku gave her body a little hug. "What's gonna happen now?"

Paine stayed quiet for a few minutes just thinking about the answer. "I want to process today first but…." She closed her mouth in a deliberate sort of way, like she didn't want to speak too soon. "We'll see, babe."

"Do you want to know what I think?"

"What?" Paine looked down to her side where Rikku seemed to be very comfortable.

"I think you should follow your heart."

Paine smiled. "Follow my heart?"

"I know I know, it sounds cheesy but…in this case I think that it will work, I think that you would be surprised at what you let yourself do." She nodded.

"My heart…"

"Yeah." Rikku poked Paine's chest where her heart was. "This little guy."

"My boob…."

Rikku chuckled. "Nah leave that to me, I'll follow your boobs."

Paine's smile threatened to rip. "Thanks babe." She patted Rikku's back gently.

"Oh no problem." Rikku grinned.

Paine took in a big breath of air as she relaxed further into the bed. She was vaguely aware that Rikku had closed her eyes. It wasn't long before she heard faint snoring coming from her. Paine didn't ever think she could find snoring cute, but Rikku sure changed a lot of her opinions. Now alone in the dark room Paine was able to fully go through the day. Rikku liked to ask a lot of questions, Paine used to find it slightly annoying but she had come to learn that it was just Rikku trying to put herself in Paine's shoes and share in what she was going through.

Going against everything you had grown to know was hard, but then being asked to follow something you were now beginning to learn how to trust was harder. Paine looked down at Rikku at her side. She was taught that, so it was easy for her. Or maybe it wasn't. Paine didn't know anymore, but today she had gotten the first look at who her mother was, and despite everything she ever knew pushing her from any thoughts of reconciliation. Paine felt her heart telling her to just let this be the starting point of learning how to really be open. It was different from Rikku. It was its own separate kind of emotion, the stuff that was reserved for a sibling or a parent. Paine didn't know that, but she felt that there was always going to be a hole if she didn't try, And if anyone could tell you how living with a hole in your heart felt like, it was Paine.

As she turned to get comfortable she felt Rikku move closer to spoon her. The Al Bhed mumbled something about cuddles and Paine nodded. Soon after Rikku was comfortable behind her light snoring could be heard in Paine's ear. There was something so gentle yet strong about Rikku's hold. Filling herself up with that warm sensation Paine felt herself being drawn into a hazy half sleep.

She had listened once and it brought her this, why not try and listen again?

**AN: You guys still there? Was very quiet last chapter in the review boards :( Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm really dying to know what you all think. **

**KathleenDee **


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter Forty Six**

_Her hands ran through ink black hair, the rush giving it the silkiest feeling. _

_To feel_

"_You like that?"_

_Paine grunted in response as she pushed her head closer. "Hurry."_

_They'd be home soon and Paine couldn't reach this itch herself. She arched her back and put her other hand behind her head. The ceiling glowed and created a rippling pattern that stole Paine's attention. _

_Dona had an aquarium in her room._

_She could slowly feel a hand make its way up to her bare stomach._

_To feel_

_She didn't like it._

_Paine grabbed the hand and squeezed it roughly before it got to rise of her chest. She sat up and yanked it away. "Don't." She growled. _

_Dona sat up on her calves. Her luscious breasts bouncing with the movement and that was all it took for Paine's drug induced attention span to change yet again. _

"_I don't fucking understand you—" She was silenced by a rough kiss and hands pushing her on her back. _

"_Shh." Paine pushed her hips down. "I know what you like alright?"_

"_Do you?" Dona raised her finely shaped eyebrow, a slight flicker in her eyes but her tone challenging. All she could feel was her weight, it felt amazing. _

"_I'll show you as long as you keep these..." Paine lifted her hands above her head. "To yourself."_

_Dona stared at her before nodding once. Paine squeezed her wrists albeit gentler than the first and it was that small detail that had confused Dona as Paine took her. _

Paine woke suddenly, her breath was caught in her chest and her body was warm with an odd mixture of disgust and arousal. She wiped at her forehead and found sweat.

"….mmeanie…mmmnfm…."

Paine looked to her right to find Rikku sleeping soundly…well almost soundly. She shook her head at the mess of blonde curls and the mumbly young woman beneath it. Rikku had somehow managed to kick the covers off her revealing her tan thighs since all she was wearing was a pair of boy shorts with chocobo's on them, and a shirt Paine assumed she'd had since the third grade or something; it was worn out and had _Mi'ihen Primary School_ in faded blue letters on it. Her left hand was tucked under the pillow and her right was extended toward Paine, her face was even in a cute little pout as dreams shown vividly behind her eyelids.

Paine watched as she continued to mumble something about Unicorns…or Yuna, Paine didn't know, and it didn't seem to matter because she was having a good nights rest and that's all she cared about. Turning back onto her back Paine let out a sigh and rubbed the back of her hand to her forehead.

Dona

She saw her yesterday, and it seemed to have stirred something in Paine that she couldn't quite understand. Gippal had told her that she was back a while ago and Paine took the hint when the usual pursuer didn't pursue. She was thankful for it. She knew it bothered Rikku to no end that her number was still in her cell phone. Paine sighed. She loved Rikku, she never loved Dona. These simple facts alone were what confused Paine most. Was seeing the back of her for that brief second enough time for her brain to register and blow off the dust of their memories together? Was that even Dona? Did Dona have dreams? Did that even matter?

Rikku shifted.

Paine did know that she would be saddened if something were to ever happen to her. She could have easily been Shuyin. Just another dead hood. It was mutually understood that no matter what Paine would stick up for her or vice versa. Why do you think Dona gave her those files? She hated the past that they had together, she hated herself back then, but she didn't hate Dona, it was more of Paine using at the time and it wasn't just drugs. She used her in the worst possible way and yeah Dona was fucking annoying and cocky and nothing at all that Paine needed back then or now for that matter, but there was a time, before the drugs really got a hold of her, before anything, where they would all skip school and hang at the Pilgrim's apartment, and Dona hadn't really talked to Paine then, but she had been pleasant. She had watched her and somehow knew something Paine didn't even know herself.

This whole growing as a human-being was interesting. The things you thought were important weren't, the people you thought you knew were constantly surprising you, and the person you thought you would be wasn't at all who you grew to be. She didn't _not_ care and she followed rules, she had a job, she was committed, she had goals and aspirations bigger than just her. There was a time when Paine thought that would be the death of any and all living things. There was a time Paine thought a lot of things though…

There was a time she thought she was an orphan.

Paine sighed and parted her lips briefly, she could feel that certain sadness creep up in her and settle in her chest. It made it hard to breathe, hard to think.

She closed her eyes tightly and clutched at the blanket as that very familiar chill that had been gone for so many months made its presence know once again.

##

The quiet drumming of rain hitting her closed window was what greeted Rikku when she opened her eyes the next morning. The sun wasn't up yet, it was still early enough for her room to seem dark.

Beep…Beep….Beep….Beep Beep Beep Beeeeeee—

Rikku quickly turned her alarm clock off and turned to get up only to be yanked back by her hair. "Ep!" She grabbed at her scalp and felt her eyes water just a little. She turned and tried to push Paine's surprisingly heavy shoulder off the tassel of blonde hair. Her girlfriend groaned in annoyance and turned onto her other side away from Rikku.

Rikku rubbed at her head as she dragged her feet to the bathroom in her room. The bathroom light was almost blinding as Rikku stared up at while sitting on the toilet.

She returned from the bathroom a half hour later after her shower. Rikku glanced at Paine, who at this time had yet to get up. She wouldn't wake her, not on the weekends. Paine got up so early everyday and then stayed up late with Rikku and her shenanigans, it was one of their unspoken agreements that she was allowed to sleep in…at least on Saturday. If she slept over on Sunday's (which Paine was learning not to do) there was yoga early in the morning with Tidus and Yuna. Though Rikku doubted they would all be there tomorrow morning. Tidus and Yuna got into a heated argument last weekend and had been all over the place lately. Rikku decided that calling Yuna when she got a moment downstairs would be a good idea. She knew the brunette was awake walking Kimahri. Rikku glanced at the window over her bed. It was a light sort of rain, the kind she couldn't see Yuna staying in over. After changing into a pair of sweatpants and a simple white spaghetti strapped top Rikku quietly walked over to Paine to check her nose. She didn't see any blood today which was good because it always scared her. Paine would wake up and wipe it away as if it was nothing, and it was _just_ a harmless nose bleed but still, Rikku had a right to worry with all the things that Paine had been through. Today was her last post op check up and then she had planned that they would hang out together which Rikku was excited for. She hadn't seen her all week and after the last weekend they had with therapy she didn't know where Paine's head was. She seemed fine last night, but then again they hardly said a word to one another as they watched a national geographic on the Moonflow.

It was hard.

Stepping out of that room Rikku could remember being glad the time was over, but then she looked over at Paine and suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Her girlfriend was still there, and she wore a look of doubt that she would ever leave it.

She could never fully feel what Paine was feeling and she knew Paine was looking for that somewhere. The place she was supposed to turn to, well it was foreign. She didn't know her mother. It was just so. Martha said they had really made great progress but where? Rikku didn't know where. Paine was able to put up her walls when necessary, able to go about school and work as if she were fine, even with her. Rikku knew it was her being protective of herself and that was fine, she couldn't force Paine to be someone she wasn't. Rikku had promised herself that she would never try and do that. So she was there in supporting silence, when Paine wanted to talk about what happened they would. She knew Paine just needed time to her own thoughts. It was hard with two conflicting personalities, but it was also amazing and Rikku could honestly out right say she was so in love with Paine.

What made it so amazing, and what made her patient, and what eased her worries about them was that she knew Paine loved her back. It made her feel invincible at times, like nothing could happen to her as long as she had that love.

Rikku didn't know about other people but in her life she recognized this to be rare.

The blonde pulled the blanket over Paine's back and pressed a little kiss on the tip of her left ear.

Rikku went about setting the coffee timer for thirty minutes, and then making breakfast for everyone to pick at when they woke up. A roll of Al Bhed sour dough cut into chunks and then toasted in the oven, some fruit, butter, and some cured meats. Rikku pulled out a small bowl to mix the butter with some herb and peppercorn.

She wasn't sure if it was because of the light rain or what, but it was so calm in the morning time on the weekends. It was just her and somehow it calmed Rikku down into a state where she could think freely on whatever was on her mind. Right now that was school. She couldn't not know what she was doing once the semester was up. She had to have a plan. During the week she went to speak to her academic adviser, her credit for pre-law couldn't move anywhere but she did offer graduate school as a very doable option. Architecture class had been really interesting, not to mention it was the one class that she was just about acing every test in. It gave her this confidence that Rikku hadn't had about school in a very long time. New Luca did have a program for graduates, but then again so did a lot of other schools in the city. When she graduated this summer she just wanted to get away from the place that had caused her so much turmoil. No one could really understand what it was like for Rikku in the last two years, and yes things had changed and she could honestly say she was doing better now, but like Paine's bullet scar, these things just didn't go away.

After pulling out the toasted sough dough Rikku reached for her phone.

"Hello?"

"How's it going?" Rikku pulled a small plate of bread and meat out for herself and sat down in the breakfast nook with it.

Yuna sighed. "Okay, how are you doing? Paine?"

Rikku frowned when she heard her tone. "You don't wanna talk about it?"

Yuna glanced at Tidus sitting across from her in the formal dining room. He had surprised her that morning when he came over wanting to talk. "Not right now. Text me? I think I'm going to get my hair cut today."

"By Lulu?"

"No no, at the salon on 8th."

Rikku nodded. "I'll come with you, we'll talk then okay?"

"Sounds good, bye."

"Bye Yunie."

Yuna hung up and placed her phone down on the wooden table.

"Rikku?" Tidus asked already knowing the answer.

She nodded. "She was calling to talk about—"

"Me."

Yuna shook her head no but the silence that followed just confirmed his suspicion. "Yuna…."

"Whatever you have to say I just—"

"I wanna go on a break."

Yuna just stared at him, his words not even making sense. "You what?"

"You obviously don't know what you want, so I wanna give you time to figure it out without having to maintain a certain…" He shrugged. "We don't have to pretend like everything is okay, I know you hate that."

"But you want to be broken up?"

"I didn't say that."

"No one ever goes back after taking a break, its relationship common knowledge."

Tidus shook his head. "Well I guess I just don't know anything."

"Stop it."

He sighed and pushed at his hair. He was in love with the woman across from him. He wanted a life with her, but Tidus wasn't stupid and he knew that what he wanted right now was not going to work for them. "We're about to graduate okay? I know you're going to accept that job and I already accepted mine, we don't have any pets and you're not pregnant. There is no reason to be together besides the fact that we were together before."

"You can't just turn it around like this Tidus."

"And why not?" He shook his head. "Do we even need a break? Because that look you're wearing right now says you already know." He stood. "Well?"

Yuna was looking down at the table. "You think you love me, but you don't." She said calmly.

"Are you kidding me!"

She looked up at him. "You haven't heard me yet so you're not going to hear me now."

"I am standing right here."

"You came here to do this. You didn't come here to listen, your giving me an ultimatum." Yuna finally stood. "Tidus Meadows I am in love with you, but not in the way that you want me to be."

Tidus let out a long sigh and for a moment they just stared at one another. "I don't know what is so wrong in wanting you to be with me, to come with me."

"You are asking me to drop everything…and I can't do that."

"Well…." He averted his eyes and looked elsewhere in the room. It hurt too much to look at her, it hurt because he was certain she was it and now they were falling between his fingers like sand.

Yuna sighed now. She ran a hand through hair and stopped it at the base of her neck. "I can't explain to you how torn I feel how much I want to just say yes and then—"

"So then just say it!"

"I can't Tidus I can't!" Her eyes watered at the hurt on his face. This was what she wanted to avoid. "Babe..."

He nodded once and then picked up his jacket and left Yuna with a very hard knot in her throat and the very real reality of being alone.

##

"Morning." Paine rubbed at her face as she approached Rikku.

Rikku couldn't help but smile, of course she thought Paine was just adorable all the time save for when she was being a meanie, but there was a special sort of cuteness to her girlfriend whenever she first woke up. Her eyes seemed to be a brighter from her sleep state, her hair not quite perfect yet, and usually there was a light tinge of pink to her cheeks. Rikku stopped what she was doing near the counter and wrapped her right arm around Paine's slender waist. "Kuut sunhehk pypo." She purred.

Paine let up a little half smile. "Sunhehk."

That seemed to tickle Rikku, she began to giggle. "You're so cute."

Paine rolled her eyes but smiled anyway, she knew that would make her laugh. "How did you sleep?"

"Well, and you?"

She averted her eyes for a moment. "…Well enough." Paine leaned down and pressed her lips gently against Rikku's before wiggling out of her grasp leaving Rikku to revel in the feeling. Kisses and cuddling was all she was getting these days, and it wasn't like she didn't understand. Paine was going through a difficult time emotionally, she didn't expect certain things, but she did now appreciate every bit of contact the two had. Sometimes Paine would just shut off simply say goodbye and head on her way to class, or if by some odd chance they ran into each other in the library (something that had been occurring more and more since Rikku was trying to buckle down) well then it was a brief conversation and a small smile. It was okay though, Rikku knew how these things worked, still it was nice to get a little affection from her girl. Today they planned on spending the whole day together after Paine's appointment with Elma. Rikku suddenly put a hand to her forehead when she remembered her phone call with her cousin. "Don't hate me but…"

"Oh boy." Paine shook her head as she poured herself some coffee.

"I kinda planned to hang out with Yunie today…" She winced at the somewhat thrown facial expression Paine got before hiding it well.

"It's cool, what are you guys going to do today?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." Paine took a sip of her coffee.

"I am though." Rikku sighed and turned to the plate of food she was fixing for herself again. She had spilled tea on the other. "I called her today and she didn't sound too good and Tidus was over—"

"He slept over?" Paine raised a brow as she stole a piece of cured meat off of Rikku's plate. "Things must be better then."

"No he just showed up randomly, which as I know is never a good thing."

"Hm." Paine took a seat at the breakfast nook with a paper towel and some of the toasted bread and butter and her coffee. Rikku brought her tea and plate to sit across from her.

"Exactly."

"Well what are you guys doing today?"

"The Salon Terrie, on eight and Lenix."

She nodded. "I'll go to Judo then."

"I really wanted to spend time with you all day though." Rikku whined to herself. Her face brightened all of a sudden. "You can come!"

Paine shook her head firmly. "No."

"Wha? Why?"

"Because Rikks, it's clearly a 'girl's day'." She shrugged.

"You are a girl, a very important one."

"Yeah but Yuna needs to just chill and talk shit out with you, when's the last time you two went shopping?"

Rikku pouted. "Shopping is a want not a need." She said in monotone. Yuna had been trying to drill her head in with that one, and it was actually starting to work. Sort of.

Paine chuckled. "Well I _need_ to work out today somehow."

"So wait wait wait, you're ditching me?"

Paine chuckled and finished chewing on her food. "No you totally ditched me today." Rikku crossed her arms. "I had all intensions to go somewhere today with you and then get back and cook together or something, and then curl up with a nice RomCom." Paine teased knowing it was exactly what the blonde wanted. She laughed when Rikku just shook her head at her. "Seriously though, go hang out with Yuna, she needs someone to talk to and granted she's going to technically become my boss soon, I don't think it's gonna be authentic if I'm there demanding all your attention."

Rikku uncrossed her arms and let a small smile play at her lips. "I thought you didn't like sharing."

"I don't."

"Let's go out tonight, my treat—don't give me that face c'mon."

Paine took another bite of her bread. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know dinner and a movie or just out to a club or I don't know, whatever you want." Paine seemed to be thinking on it. "Within reason of course."

"Sooo whatever you approve of." Paine corrected.

Rikku nodded happily. "I just know you, I don't want to go to some weapon exhibition or something."

"Well y'know the fiend fighting thing is still in town…"

"Paine Kerrigan I thought we already said that we wouldn't go, I don't need you getting any ideas about doing that."

Paine sighed in cute frustration. "Well I'll just go with the guys then."

"So I'm not seeing you at all today?"

"Tonight's the last night and I have tickets."

"How do you have tickets!?"

"I uh…Gippal?"

"Paine!"

"Babe listen it's completely safe—"

"Except for the part when you are losing and you get throttles by a lupine wolf."

"The end it before you… y'know...get seriously injured"

"Oh well that's assuring."

"It's not even like I'm doing it, I'm just going to watch."

"I know you though." Paine rolled her eyes because it was completely true. Paine thought it was the coolest thing that she had discovered while taking a swordsmanship class that Cid got her in. "See that silence? That's your girlfriend being right."

"Yeah well excuse me for trying to think of things that we could do together…" Paine played with her paper towel.

"That's not even a good excuse and you know why."

"Fine…." Something inside Paine mocked her obeisance. "But I'm still going tonight." She nodded making herself feel just a bit better.

Rikku sighed. "Oui'mm tu fryd oui fyhd." She went back to eating. "I'm having Baralai watch you."

Paine laughed. "Fuck Lai."

"Yeah well I've heard things about when the three of you get together." She took a sip of her tea. "I need an informant."

Paine laughed a little more. She was glad Baralai and Rikku got along so well, even better than her rocky relationship with Gippal. "I just need to remind you that his loyalties lay with me, Princess."

Rikku laughed a little. "Ayd ouin vuut."

Paine smiled a little and went back to eating. Before they knew it they were leaving the house to go their separate ways. The roadway was still wet and the air smelt of a promising spring. Now only if it would hurry up and come already.

Paine adjusted her maroon beanie as Rikku locked the door. The blonde turned to her and gave her a hug. "Text me."

Paine nodded. "Have fun."

"Where's my kiss?"

Paine glanced up the drive to make sure Cid wasn't pulling in at that very second before leaning in and kissing her girlfriend.

"One more…for the road." Rikku smiled and jumped forward a little and stole a peck from Paine. "Okay." She nodded before jingling her keys. "Bye Paine." She waved once they made it to their cars.

"Drive safe." Paine gave Rikku a look.

"I will, I will."

"Don't talk to any strangers either…look both ways before you—"

Rikku blew her a kiss and laughed. "I love you." It was almost inaudible because of their distance.

Paine smiled and mouthed it back before getting in her car and pulling out first so Rikku can drive on as well. Paine quickly adapted to the change of plans for the day, and though she really wanted to spend time with Rikku she was glad she now had the time to do a bunch of things she would have had to cram into Sunday evening. She called Baralai and Gippal to make sure that they could come to the fiend arena that evening and then called Joyce to see if Mackenzie wanted to go to Judo with her again later, which the little girl jumped at the opportunity, and then she called Lulu…

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Paine."

"Hello, Paine, how are you?" They were really putting an effort in trying to be civil toward one another and it seemed to be getting somewhere.

"Good, How's Viddy?"

"Well he's down with a little something. We just came back from the hospital."

"Was it his lungs?" Paine asked quickly. Vidina had definitely weaseled his way into her heart.

"No no." Lulu laughed a little at how concerned she sounded. "It was just a cold, so he's sleeping now. I've put Wakka in isolation because where else could he have gotten it from? I haven't left."

"Work, school, blitz…"

"Precisely. "

"As long as he is going to be okay…."

"Why don't you come over to see him sometime soon? I don't quite think he understands the process of relationships yet beyond Wakka and I but I'm sure he misses having you and Rikku around, and besides I wanted to have a word with you."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Oh…How does tomorrow look?"

"We'll be here."

"Okay so I'll text Rikku real quick and look for a time, plans have kinda changed and stuff so…."

"Right right, check with her."

"Okay well….I uh actually wanted to see if you heard from Keira lately…." Paine shifted in her car seat still feeling a little awkward for asking.

Lulu raised an eyebrow lightly. "Briefly."

"Like this week?"

"Yes…Have you?"

Paine shook her head no. "No…"

"It was nothing major; she just called to see if I had spoken to you, which I haven't so like I said, briefly."

"Sorry about that…"

"You should call her."

"I want to it's just… Well therapy didn't exactly do anything but confuse me more."

"She isn't my mother."

"Have you spoken to yours?"

Lulu was silent for a moment. "No, how could I?"

"I just thought maybe—"

"The situation is different, Paine. Let me be frank; I don't exactly see me getting involved with this making my relationship with my mother or our father any easier."

"But you got involved anyway?"

"It wasn't right; the secrecy. We all deserve to know where we come from."

"I…I was thinking of things to ask you about Paul…Keira brought him up in therapy and was actually defending him it seemed…."

"I don't know how I feel about him now, but he has always been there for me, this is why this is so hard to understand."

"Shame maybe?"

"I'm certain of it."

"He just left her though…"

Lulu took a seat sensing that Paine had a lot on her mind. "Apparently she and my mother knew of each other."

"Really?"

"Father says as much."

"So you are talking to him now?"

"No, but he calls so often begging for me to understand him."

"Maybe…maybe you should talk to him?"

Lulu shook her head. "And do what when he doesn't want to acknowledge you exist?"

Paine frowned. "Is that what he said?"

"No, but he isn't ready to talk with us both, and that's what I want."

"I don't know if I'm—"

"How long will wait then, Paine? Till Vidina is a little older? Till you graduate? When? What is the reason for the time?"

"I'm twenty one about to be twenty two and I have no fucking clue who I am anymore."

"It's unsettling."

"Unsettling? Lulu you have an idea. I don't know if I have room in my life for people who just left me, I can't go through this again."

Lulu nodded slowly finally understanding. "Being abandoned."

Paine closed her eyes tightly to push away the tears. "Yeah…"

That was the word exactly.

Lulu shifted in her seat in thought, she glanced at Wakka in the distance reading Vidina one of his school textbook for school. "As far as I am concerned you are family, we're…sisters. So you always have a place and people, I can easily speak for Wakka when I say that we'll remain constant, if you want Paine. We'll remain."

Paine had finally arrived to the doctors and was simply sitting in her car. "I never liked you."

Lulu found herself smirking. "I know."

"But I….I'm glad we turned out this way." Paine furrowed her brows at her words. "I mean whatever way this I..I'm—"

Her smirk fell into a smile. "Me too."

"I'll talk to you later." Paine hurried to get off the phone.

"Bye."

##

They hugged for a long time.

Rikku could feel the weight of Yuna's entire body leaning on her and it made her sad that she couldn't even hold herself up. "Yunie."

"I'm fine." She pulled herself away and wiped at her eyes and put on a small smile. Rikku just shook her head.

"We don't have to go out in public if you want just a day in or y'know... Eat jelly beans and ice cream."

"No no no, look at these ends I need to get them trimmed and by the looks of it you need a serious haircut too."

Rikku played with the ends of her hair. It was a few inches away from touching her butt if it were taken down all the way. "I know but….look you can be honest with me."

"I know I can, but it's just so fresh right now."

"Are you two broken up?" The blonde asked sadly as they got back into Rikku's car to go to the salon.

Yuna shook her head from side to side. "I don't know, and if we aren't we're one step away from being it. I don't know how to feel. I'm a wreck… a part of me is relieved…but that's a very small part."

"He needs to understand you."

Yuna sighed heavily. "Tidus is a good person."

"I know."

"But he has his ways just like you and just like me. I wish that we could just somehow get locked in a room and have to work things out without either one of us just walking out…"

"Try therapy." Rikku shook her head as she turned onto a main road. "Oh last weekend was awful but man is Paine in a better mood. Sometimes I want that too y'know, just to not have the option of leaving,… Paine and I, we get off track and it's hard to really get into anything when one person just walks out."

"I know what you mean."

"Maybe you should just try and—"

Yuna shook her head quickly. "No no no I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because." She put a hand to her temple. "Because Rikku I'm confusing him, I know I am, he can't possibly hear me say that I love him but don't want to be with him….and then I don't even know anymore what I want, he came today to give me space y'know that? He wanted to go on a break."

"But people who go on breaks never ever get back together, it's just the rules."

"That's what I said!" Yuna shook her head. "It only made things worse."

Rikku glanced at her. "What is going on with him?"

"What do you mean?"

Rikku shook her head. "I don't know it seems like something is just going on, I mean I never dated him but there could be something going on at home or something. How's Oscar? How's his Dad?"

"There, Tidus talk about him much."

"Didn't he play Blitzball too?"

"A while ago, on the Abes too…."Yuna put her hand to her head again. "He's probably under a lot of pressure to go there, what's wrong with me? I haven't even asked him about it!"

"Don't beat yourself up over it Yunie. Just…now you can ask, there is always time when it's true, that's' what Pop always says anyway."

##

"It happened last night…."

Elma looked up from Paine's chart. "What?"

"I had another withdrawal episode."

Elma examined Paine's face. "Relax hm? It is still going to happen, especially now that the pills Dr. Vice prescribed are now completely out of your system."

"What do I do though?"

"Honestly Paine you wait, I know that's not what you want to hear, but you don't want to go back on medication am I right?" Paine nodded and looked back down at her hands. "This is the way it is until your body has balanced itself again."

"Yeah but Em I don't think you understand how bad they get."

Elma sat down on her stool and wheeled it closer to Paine. "With PAWS it varies…the one last night, describe it?"

Paine rubbed at her shoulder. "I was cold, like freeing cold. My throat dried, um and those headaches?" Elma nodded. "I had one of those but it wasn't the worst…"

"Okay." Elma nodded. "What I need is you to be serious about is keeping this log." Paine nodded. "Get one of those little books and write down this…" She wheeled over the desk in the room. "Write up the date, when it happened, how long it lasted, a few words to describe how you were feeling before it happened…" Elma was writing down all of this on a prescription pad. "And then that's it." She ripped it off the fresh stack and handed it to Paine. "It was harder in the beginning no?"

Paine nodded. "Well yeah, everything was harder then."

"You see?" She handed Paine the slip. "I know that it seems never ending, but it's important to realize that sometimes some things cause these reactions, things that cause you to want to use and that's when your body tries to overcompensate."

"If I wanted to go back on that pill…" Paine really didn't but she didn't think she could deal with these; she had a life she had to get going.

"I'll phone Dr. Vice and ask about a smaller dosage." Elma nodded and then looked back at her chart. "But as far as your kidney, a bit of tissue was compromised but most of the kidney is still fine and working well. What I need you to remember is that of course caffeine and alcohol suppress the ADH, I don't care what life crisis you are going through, no more sake you hear me?" Paine nodded. "Just be mindful of everything else, you can drink but just be aware that hangovers are going to be a lot worse, and to be honest I don't think you should really be drinking at all given your addiction history. I don't want this turning into a whole other thing Paine."

Paine nodded very well knowing the risk. "I think I can manage."

Elma gave her a sort of doubtful supportive look and went back to the chart. "Urine output is fabulous I must say."

Paine chuckled a little. "Gee thanks."

"And I think that we will be okay as long as you take it easy. I know it's hard given what's been happening but just remember that you come first and your body will thank you in return."

Paine nodded. "So when is it going to be official?"

"What?"

"Elma Mannichey M.D"

Elma chuckled."Well technically I finish when you all do, and then I'm back working here again." She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Youngest in my class."

"I know man it's awesome."

"What about you?"

"I've been looking into some health centers for when I graduate."

"PTing?"

Paine shrugged. "To pay the rent, I want to get into training though."

"I'll keep a look out. What about this modeling gig, when's the first show?"

"Fittings start in a week; they sent me a one line email saying this."

"Well you've arrived you know."

"I didn't realize I did until I noticed it was sent to all the company models too."

"Petra Neil?"

"I guess…"

"You guess? She's only New Luca's biggest socialite turned model. She's all over the tabloids."

"Do I look like I read tabloids?"

"She was in Playboy."

"Which one?" Elma laughed and Paine shook her head in amusement. "Rikku is more excited about the thing then I am. I just want to make some money and leave."

"That's what all the forty year old strippers said."

Paine laughed, "I think that's my cue to leave."

Elma grinned. "Tonight's my night to cook, you bringing blondie?"

"Ah fuck, that's tonight?"

"Mhm, please don't bail then it's just going to be Gippal and I."

"Where the hell is Nooj these days?"

Elma shrugged. "He was there this morning but I don't even count on him to have my back."

"Wait what's wrong with Gip?"

"He's going to try and make it romantic or something…you know the other day he texted me how work was going?"

"Wha's wrong with that?"

"It's Gippal…Usually he just texts me to ask where the extra toilet paper is."

"Well y'know, maybe he's making an effort."

"For what?"

"Don't play dumb."

Elma shook her head and began gather her paper work. "Well he should stop."

"Why though? I mean you like him, I know you do, and he loves you too."

"What?"

Paine bit her lip. "Likes…I meant likes."

"You said love; did he say something to you?" She stood.

"Well I'm his best friend I just thought that—"

"Please mind your own business Paine, Gippal and I, well we can't even go there, alright?"

Paine grew a little frustrated. "Why though? Because he still uses?"

Elma had a somewhat surprised look on her face. Paine mentally kicked herself again and the two just stood there not knowing what to say next. Finally Elma sighed and pushed her deep red hair back. "I still would like you two to come tonight."

Paine nodded. "I'll be there for sure, don't know about Rikku…Listen Em… look I'm sorry okay? It's just that we both know what a good guy he is, I just want him to be happy."

Elma nodded. "I understand, Gippal just….he needs to be honest to me. I've seen the girls he brings home and I know about the ones he doesn't bring home. I never want to be one of those, I don't like playing games and everything is a game to him, even his own health."

"So that's the only thing then?" Paine asked hopefully.

"It's a very big thing, Paine."

"I know but….that's it?"

Elma smiled and shook her head. "He should be nicer to you too, you're a good friend." She motioned to the door before walking out and going back to work. Paine ran a hand through her hair wondering what travesty to fix first before going to Judo.

##

Yuna scratched the back of her head and tugged gently at the long braid there. "That's a lot Rikku."

Rikku had just taken down her hair and plopped herself in the salon chair beside Yuna's. "I know, but I need a change, and anyway it won't look horrible, it'll be like when we were in high school."

"Hm. I thought you said you were going to grow it long like Grandma's?"

"This hair has been like a weight, I mean…I just don't want to be reminded of what happened so I need a fresh start."

"That's one way to deal with it."

"Yea I really just y'know….I've been thinking of ways to deal with my life. Can't exactly be there for Paine if I'm all over the place…Can't exactly be there for me either…"

"How have you been feeling though?" She was glad they had changed the subject from her.

Rikku played with the scrunchie she had her hair in. "I feel…Like maybe I can do this." She glanced at Yuna. "Like this adult thing."

Yuna smiled a little. "I think you can. What of school, have you decided what you will study in graduate school?"

"Well if I go…"

"What are you really going to do with Pre-Law?"

Rikku shrugged. "Graduate school it is then…"

"I can help you with your applications. Are you thinking about Home?"

"Like Home Home….or Pop's house?"

"Home Home, you know they have the most interesting architecture there, and in Bevelle, have you looked into Bevelle?"

"I was planning on staying in the city y'know?"

"Hm…I mean maybe The Mi'ihen Institute…."

"Yeah…"

"Well you shouldn't put all your eggs into one basket, we'll just apply all over the place, it'll be fun."

"What can be fun about doing a bunch of essays?"

Yuna smiled a little."Nothing, but it would give me something to do while I'm feeling sorry for myself."

Rikku chuckled softly. "We'll start right away then."

##

"Oh no no no it's too hard." Mackenzie shook her head quickly.

Paine smiled, "You can do it."

"But what if we crash?" Her big brown eyes widened for emphasis on how she valued her young life.

"I won't let us crash."

"But what if we do?"

"I'm your guardian right?"

"I don't think Momma would like this…"

Paine sighed. "Probably not."

The car was silent.

"Maybe just once…."

Paine chuckled and took her hands off the steering wheel as Mackenzie leaned forward from the small backseat to control the car. "Just keep it straight…I'll do the rest." Paine used her left knee to cheat and guide the steering wheel so they didn't actually crash on the road. Mackenzie didn't even noticed and was in this adorable glee that she was actually driving a car.

They were coming back from Judo about one hour later when Paine's cell phone went off. She made sure Mackenzie had her keys and began trying to open the series of complicated locks for her as she picked it up. "Paine."

"It's me."

"Hey you."

"I got a hair cut today; I just realized I don't think you've ever seen me with it like this."

"As long as it isn't a Mohawk like your brother's I think I'll be okay….There we go." Paine opened the door for Mackenzie who dashed into Paine's apartment in search of her secret stash of chocolate milk. Paine did a quick glance around for any inappropriate behavior going on. Poor little Mackenzie had almost walked right in on Nooj walking around in his birthday suit several times. Finally rules had to be put in place. She was just a little kid for Yevon's sake.

"How's it going?"

"Um…it's going, hey look, let me get Big Mack settled and I'll call you back."

"Alright, bye Pypo."

"Bye." Paine hung up and went into the kitchen where her young friend had already busted into a pack of yoohoo and was sipping it coolly through a bendy straw. "I wonder if Gippal made us anything."

"I miss Walker and his healthy food." Mackenzie noted as she glanced into the fridge with Paine. Paine chuckled at how she still called him Walker, she really thought that was his name and when they told her it was Wakka she thought they were messing with her. She and Jade were the only two to call him that without him getting bothered at all.

"Yeah, me too." Paine admitted reminding herself to ask Rikku about visiting her soon to be brother in law. As they munched on turkey sandwiches and drank chocolate milk Paine thought a lot about what Lulu had said. She wasn't getting any younger and the sooner she knew the better right? Lulu had called it square on, Paine didn't want to go through this again, she didn't want to open up only to be punched in the gut. It was just too hard. She decided to deal with it now though, somehow and someway she had to deal with it now. After lunch Paine took Mackenzie back by Joyce and hopped into her car again. She hit speed dial five, which was Rikku's designated number. The call mode changed to a picture taken of Rikku painting when she wasn't aware.

"Babe, hey."

"Alright so listen to this."

"Uh oh."

"So I kinda put my foot in my mouth several times when talking to Elma about Gippal today." Rikku let up a small laugh. "Apparently she didn't know he was still using."

"Oh Pai…"

"I know."

"How could she not know though?" Rikku sighed and put her brush down. "Why is everyone breaking up!?"

"What?"

"Tidus and Yunie are like hanging by a pube hair or something and now Gip and Elma."

"Babe they weren't even together to begin with, and a pube hair? Really?"

"That's life, Pypo."

Paine laughed a little and then got serious again. "Alright I need to brainstorm because Gip, Lai and I still gonna go to the arena tonight but I mean, Elma invited you so…"

"Are you ditching me again!?"

"I told you I was going to go, we'll just have an early dinner or some shit, I gotta call Gippal."

"And tell him what you said right?" She was met with silence. "Paine."

"I'm not going to say anything….What do you think?"

"I think it's a bad idea."

"Stay over tonight and let me know."

"Wait a minute; you want me to stay over tonight not because you love me and feel sorry for ditching me, but because you want me to get Elma into talking about Gippal? Paine Kerrigan yna oui uid uv ouin seht?"

"Baby—"

"No don't do that…"

"What's your problem huh? I thought you would like this idea."

"I haven't seen you all week! I'll tell you what I like, spending time with my girlfriend."

"Are we really doing this? Really?" It was crazy to Paine how quickly things can change.

"If I'm coming over it's to have dinner and see you, nothing else so make up your mind."

"Well I don't want you to come over if you're gonna act like this."

"Like what? Someone who doesn't want to get in anyone's business?"

"I didn't know you turned over a new leaf."

"…Bye."

"Wait wait…"Paine growled at herself. "I'm sorry." She stopped at a red light. "I'm sorry."

"Fine."

Paine squirmed in her seat. She swore Rikku was the master at making her feel this way. She hated loosing but as the phone stayed silent she already knew which way this would play out. She opened her mouth but then closed it. "Come to the thing with me and the guys after, I really _really_ want you to come with me, I promise I won't get any ideas AND I'll buy you a teddy bear."

The line was quiet.

"A pink one…?"

Paine began to smile. "Yes, whichever you want."

##

Carlo nodded while leaving the theatre on his cell phone. "Yeah yeah I like that one a lot, the arrangement eehh needs a little work. I'll get on tonight and tinker with a….hold on a sec." He pulled the phone away from his ear slowly. "Excuse me?" He called. She looked confused as to where to go. "Can I help you find someone…." He knew who she was looking for though.

Paine stuffed her hands in her hoody and walked over, "Yeah uh, do you know where I can find Keira Kerrigan? Is she here?"

Carlo tilted his head slightly but then nodded. "She just finished vocals for the day, she's in the grand room past these double doors here…" He wanted to say more but decided against it.

"Thanks." Paine nodded.

"Yeah sure, anytime." He stayed motionless as he watched her walk to the doors and slowly push them open.

Paine stilled herself behind a drape near the very top of The Grand Sphere Theatre room. It seemed almost spooky in the dark of day. The empty seats gave more attention to the stage she was sitting in front of not too long ago. A woman was there, slim in appearance with bra strap length smoky hair with subtle waves. She was wearing a pair of dark blue denim jeans and a long sleeved droopy cover up. She hugged it closer to her as if cold. Her black boots softly padded against the wooden stage accents as she paced near a black grand piano. A piece of paper was rolled up in her hand.

Keira Kerrigan

Finally with a frustrated sort of motion se tossed the piece of paper near a microphone stand and sat at the piano. Her fingers sat on a C chord for a moment before abruptly slamming down on the lowest F possible to play. It startled Paine.

She ran a hand through her hair and began to play a haunting melody, one that Paine didn't recognize. The acoustics in the large room making it vibrate in her chest.

Keira stretcher her neck out a little and closed her eyes. "_Playground school bell rings, again….Rainclouds come to play, again….Has no one told you she's not breathing? Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to…Hello….._"

It was then Paine started to feel it. Her voice somehow sounded different than the one she remembered on stage, it was softer and more…human.

"_If I smile and don't, believe…soon I know I'll wake, from this dream…..Don't try to fix me I'm not broken. Hello, I am the lie living for you so you can hide, don't cry…_"

She played the course on piano without singing anything twice as if trying to stop herself from crying and messing up the words. Keira's shoulders slouched and her eyes watered more as she belted out the last line with no regards toward theory or control. There was no audience in that crowd and she needed to feel herself shake to know it was true.

"_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping! Hello! I-I'm still here, all that's left of yesterdaaaayyyy!_"

Keira abruptly slammed on a few nonsense keys before stopping and wiping at her face with her long sleeves.

Paine sniffled once and Keira shot her head up afraid at what someone might have just heard.

Their eyes met and for a long time no one said anything. Keira looked back down to the piano in front of her. She wished to be left alone right now but she knew that Paine had wanted that too at one point. She cleared her throat a little and wiped at her face once more before glancing up at Paine again. She stood and picked up the rolled up sheet of paper she had tossed aside earlier and clutched it for its invisible support. "Amelia."

Paine took a step forward. It was amazing how well sound carried in here. She pulled at her fingers nervously in her hoody pocket. "Yes?"

Keira motioned to the piano. "No, I-I wrote it...um, it's called Amelia."

**AN: It's actually called "Hello" By Evanescence. Take a listen you'll get a lot more out of this last scene if you do. Obviously the song relates to Paine and Keira's friend growing up. I loved that it worked out so well like that. Can you tell which line is for whom? Anyway it seems like everything is just up in the air right now huh? No one is safe. Review!**

**KathleenDee **


	47. Chapter 47

_**For Rawry**_

**Chapter Forty Seven**

"It was sort of my thing when I was little…" Paine nervously wrung her wrists as she spoke.

Keira sat a row below looking up at her. Her arms folded on the back of the plush theatre chair. "Why did you stop?"

Paine shrugged. "I just stopped." She ran a hand through her hair. "I um started fighting."

Keira tilted her head. "Fighting?"

"Yeah…" Paine shrugged again. "Like kids…I got into a lot of trouble but I mean it led me to Judo."

Keira seemed a little surprised. "Judo?"

"I'm working on my third dan…it's a form of a black belt."

"Wow."

She shrugged again not really knowing what to say. She had intended on saying her piece and leaving, this whole sit and talking thing had come completely unexpected, and Paine would be lying if she said she wasn't feeling anxious about it.

"One of my brothers, he used to do some sort of martial art…." Keira nodded.

"You still talk to them?"

The older woman looked away and put her hand to her head. "Only two of them… the others sort of want nothing to do with me when I tried to reconnect with them a few years ago. Our father passed away and I …well it didn't go well when I went to the funeral."

"Oh…"

Keira smiled sadly. "I suppose it runs in the family."

"I wouldn't know."

Keira frowned. "Listen Paine I know you came to say something and before you do I just want you to know that I never ever meant to upset you, to make you…cry. I wish I knew how things would have turned out…I never would have….I never would have left. Not for a second."

Paine tried not to look at her; her own emotions upon hearing that were getting the best of her. "No one knew."

"Still."

"What happened then?"

"What happened?"

"With you and Paul, Lulu said that you even knew that he was married to Ellen Moore. If you're the victim—"

"I never said I was…" Keira sighed. "I was no saint back then Paine but I can tell you I didn't know about Ellen until I was certain I was in love, and then when you realize that nothing matters at all."

The younger Kerrigan seemed surprised. "You loved him?"

Keira nodded. "And I know he loved me, in a way, but you see he couldn't."

"Didn't you feel bad for Lulu and his wife?"

Keira played at one of her long sleeves. She wasn't beating around the bush at all. "They were having a hard time, or at least that's what he told me. I figured I could make him happy….I was only seventeen mind you Paine. Everything is prettier at that age."

Paine tried to remember back when she was seventeen. "I…..I don't remember."

"Remember what?"

Paine glanced up. "Being seventeen." She scratched the back of her head. "You should know something else…maybe. I mean, I guess you should know." Paine nodded to herself deciding to take that step a lot earlier than she anticipated. Keira prepared herself for what she thought would be some sort of coming out and coming of age story. "I um, got into a lot of drugs in high school, oxy, molly, MDMA, special K…just…I did a lot of different drugs for a solid four years." Paine noticed the change in Keira's features and a small part of her hoped it would scare her away so she wouldn't have to deal. "I…I had a lot of sex with girls, a few times unprotected with guys and…I abused a lot for these years and at one point I was homeless…I wasn't an okay person, I didn't like many people and they didn't like me and that was all the more reason to continue with what I was doing…Until two years ago I overdosed and almost died." She waited for Keira to say something but all she saw was hurt and confusion in her glossy brown eyes. "I was real lost and even now I may have to go back on medication to stop my body from attacking itself every time I get stressed…" Soon she couldn't really stop talking. Her brain didn't let her filter a thing and Paine thought for a second that Keira might just reconsider. It urged her on more because this is what she did, she pushed people away, or at least tried to once she had cleared her chest. It was an offering; either you accept me a hundred percent or you don't accept me at all.

Keira didn't even know what to say. She was speaking so calmly, like everyone shot up and snorted to the point of an overdose at the age nineteen. Like everyone just forgot huge chunks of their late teens, like everyone did these things. "Paine." She reached a hand out and Paine instinctively pulled away quickly.

Paine stopped talking at the action and they stared at each other for a moment before something in Paine told her to run. She shot up. "I should go." She mumbled before quickly climbing the stairs back to the exit.

Keira stood and followed after her. "Wait, Paine wait—"

Paine whirled around. "What!?"

Keira blinked in surprise. "I…Don't leave."

Paine calmed down a little and she averted her eyes. "I really need to go. Bye." She mumbled before running off again. Keira stood there for a moment before swearing under her breath and running a hand through her long hair.

##

"You sure you don't want to come?" Elma asked as she pulled on her parka.

Gippal pulled the hood of his hoody over his head. "Yeah P, c'mon it's gonna be fun, I mean look Nooj texted saying he'd meet us there and everything." Gippal showed Paine his cell phone.

"You guys go ahead…I don't really feel up for it anymore." Paine nodded pushing the phone gently away. Gippal gave her a curious look before nodding. "Alright, c'mon woman, we're gonna be late."

Elma rolled her eyes at him. She kissed her hand and then playfully slapped Paine's cheek. The little show of affection started when Elma first moved in and realized Paine had real issues with people in her personal space. She hadn't done it in a while and she was glad it brought a little laugh out of her depressed looking friend.

Paine said her goodbye and then locked the door before going over to the couch and throwing herself down on it lazily. She rolled onto her back and sighed heavily as she rubbed her hands to her face.

She was alone

The usual city soundtrack played as the evening turned into night, Paine had no idea how long she laid there for until her cell phone could be heard going off in the kitchen. She sat up and walked over to the counter and sighed before picking up the phone. "Hello?"

"I'm so sleepy I'm not actually sure that I'm awake right now." Rikku yawned as she climbed onto her bed. "How's _Me Time_ going?"

"I don't know." Paine sighed and leaned on the counter before her. "I can't sleep, though I haven't really tried."

Rikku frowned. "What have you been doing all night?"

"All night? What time is it?" Paine looked around for a clock but Rikku beat her to it.

"It's ten forty three, Pypo."

"Shit." Paine rubbed at her face. Elma and Gippal left the house at seven.

Rikku didn't want to ask her what was going on, why she all of a sudden canceled plans through a text and asked her to just understand and let it be. Paine obviously needed some mental privacy right now. So Rikku decided to wait for Paine to say something.

Paine poured herself some water. "You wanna see Viddy tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that would be nice."

"What time? Are you doing yoga tomorrow?"

"Prolly not." Rikku yawned again. "Today was tiring, Yunie is in her mode already…we did like three whole applications today, three!"

"Applications?"

"Graduate degree programs, remember?"

"Hm." Paine nodded and took a few sips of her water. "I'm proud of you, babe."

"Well wait till I get accepted to be proud."

"Nah, I'm good."

Rikku smiled a little. "Thank you."

"Mhmh." Paine took another sip of her water. "What are you doing?"

"Just got into bed I don't know how much longer I'll be of useful conversation."

"Well let me say goodnight then."

"Okay." Rikku yawned again as if on cue. She really wanted to stay up and talk with Paine; her tone just sounded off to her, but Rikku decided she would let the night play out however it was supposed to.

"Goodnight, Princess."

"Nighty night, Pai, I love you."

Paine's mood lifted a little. "I love you too."

"…..If I have a nightmare?"

"Call me."

"You too okay? If you wake up scared or something…."

"I'll call."

"No you won't." Rikku pouted as she closed her eyes.

"I know but…I'll think of you, that always seems to work."

Rikku smiled. "Okay."

"Sleep hm?"

"Mhhmm….."

Paine hung up after waiting a few more moments. She filled her cup up back with water, smoked a bowl, and then passed out in her bed after taking a warm shower.

##

"Hey little guy, what's been up?" Paine asked the little bundle when they first arrived. Vidina's infant eyes grew wide with excitement at the two faces.

"Re so meddma kistnub!" Rikku cooed. Viddy began to outstretch his arms and kick his feet. Rikku turned to Paine with mirth in her green eyes. "Oh, look Pypo, he wants a raise." Rikku leaned down and picked the infant up carefully before kissing him on his chubby cheeks. "Ruf ryc dra lidacd meddma puo eh Cbeny paah tuehk?"

"He's been sleeping through the night lately ya?" Wakka walked over. "Leave me with nothing to do now a days."

"I know what I would do; I would just watch him sleep." Rikku nodded as she bounced him in her arms a little. She smiled as Paine took his little hand and asked if he was falling asleep on boring old dad. Seeing Paine around her nephew was just too cute for words.

"Dat's what I been doin'!" Wakka laughed. "Lu says I need to sleep though, so y'know…"

"Whatever she says goes." Rikku nodded. "Where is Lulu anyhow?"

"She stepped out for a little, she should be back any minute, you guys hungry?"

"Nah I'm good, thanks though."

"Oh I forgot, yuh modeling now, well I'm gonna make some coffee. I know you'll drink that." Wakka walked off into the kitchen leaving Paine and Rikku to shower Little D'Autry with attention.

"You wanna hold him Pai?"

Paine nodded. "He's gotten big…"He looked a lot better than what Lulu said yesterday, Maybe it was a two day bug or something.

"Well look at who his daddy is." Rikku chuckled and gave Vidina one more kiss before handing him off to Paine, who had gotten pretty good at holding babies if she did say so herself. "Fyhhy ku po Yihdo Pai, huh? Yihdea Pai Pai?"

"Heeey." Paine smiled as she took him in her arms. Vidina began to babble which made her smile even more. "Look babe, he's speaking Al bhed."

Rikku laughed and touched Paine's arm. "Oh shush."

"So tell me Viddy Mae, what has been up?" Paine asked and Vidina tried to communicate through a bunch of gurgling noises and kicking his feet out. "Oh yeah? Life's rough huh?"

"Has he said Rikku yet?" Rikku asked jokingly as she went to help Wakka.

"Lu is convinced coutre is gonna be it, I think it's gonna be Wakka."

"Nah, it'll probably be da-da or something." Paine said as she and Vidina grabbed onto each other's fingers. "I looked at some of my old notes and shi…stuff." She glanced down at him. "Babies usually can't form any words with more than one syllable till later on."

"He sure is talkative though." Wakka came over with coffee in his handy. "So how's it going Dr.P?"

"Eh. Monday I have to go to a final thesis seminar which should be fun.."Paine said sarcastically Rikku came to sit beside her and Vidina, she was munching on a biscuit that had caught Vidina's attention. He began gurgling and pursing his lips as if suckling. Paine chuckled a little. "Sorry kid, you got no teeth and your mom ain't here so don't get any ideas."

Rikku laughed. "Wakka he's a dream." She smiled at Wakka seeing his features in the little boy more and more every day,

"He is huh? Glad he's done with that lil cold ya? Had me freakin out. Even Lu was worried."

Paine rocked her arms gently. "No more scares okay?" He flapped his arms excitedly not really knowing what this face meant but it seemed familiar and fun to him. He liked how she smelled and her eyes were like mommy's; a comforting home away from home.

They sat with Wakka and chatted idly before Lulu came home and scooped Vidina up to feed him. Exactly after that he closed his little eyes and fell asleep in Lulu's arms. Lulu put him down in his crib, made sure the baby monitor was on, and then went to join her friends in the living room. She smiled at what she saw. The three of them were sitting on the couch just watching TV and talking. Being an only child didn't allow her the luxury of knowing such normalcy. Lulu often felt rather alone growing up in her big house. It just made moments like this all the more meaningful. Wakka was the only person to know just how sentimental she was, and if she could help it he would be the only person. As if on cue Wakka glanced up from the couch, a laugh deep in his throat. He moved over a little to make room for Lulu sit beside him, silently inviting her to relish in the feel of family. In their own special way they all knew the feeling.

The day just seemed to roll by like that. Paine and Rikku had lunch there and then by evening time they were making plans for dinner. Paine smiled as she and Rikku walked down the block toward her car that night. She softly reached for Rikku's hand to hold the small amount of the way and when she got to the car door she opened it for Rikku.

"Have I told you that I like your hair cut?" Paine asked as she pulled onto the main road through the city and to pass NLU on the way to the Bayla household.

"Yeah?" Rikku asked putting a hand to her much shorter blonde hair. It still had quite a bit of length on Paine but when it was up like it was now you could really see her face better since she didn't even need a head band. Paine thought it made her look a little older and she thought it suited her new attitude well.

"Mhm."

Rikku sighed contently and turned on the radio. She rolled her eyes at Paine's music choice and then turned it off again. "Do you want to sleep over tonight?"

Paine thought about it. Though last night had been relaxing in its own way she decided that really did miss having Rikku next to her. She felt secure whenever she slept over, she didn't know why. "Yeah, but I have work tomorrow morning."

"Is the weekend over already?" Rikku whined.

Paine nodded. "fraid so, Princess."

"How are you doing over there?" Paine had been relatively quiet, which was her normal nature but Rikku was just curious as to where Paine's head was at with everything.

Paine shrugged. "I'm okay babe." She glanced at Rikku. "Just…y'know." She glanced at Rikku again when she rubbed her thigh.

"I know, Pypo."

"How are you? Yuna?"

Rikku sighed heavily. "Yunie hasn't texted me today which either means she and Tidus are talking or fighting or making up OR she put Kimahri up for adoption and went to search the city looking for homeless cats."

Paine raised her eyebrow softly. "Huh."

"I'm worried about her."

"She's all sad?"

"Well yeah y'know? She really honestly loves Tidus…"

"Yeah that's rough to hear. So are they officially like…not?"

"I don't know."

"You think babies like onesies?"

Rikku laughed. "Random."

"Honestly though."

Rikku shrugged. "I mean they just look so cute…."

"Hm."

"Are you thinking about babies?" Rikku asked in a suggestive tone and Paine laughed.

"Fuck no."

Rikku grinned.

##

Rikku ran a hand through Paine's hair affectionately.

"…and I just like babbled the whole thing I told her everything and I feel so stupid for doing that because I…"

The time had finally come where Paine wanted to talk. They had been up in the attic when the mood hit her so Rikku put down her oil paints and lifted Paine's head from her lying position on the crimson colored loveseat, and put it on her lap. Paine had sighed and curled her body up just a little and finally just let it all out.

"I'm sure she is just surprised, Pypo."

"It just made me realize who I was back then. I never actually said it and…even to you I've never actually said it."

Rikku watched as Paine closed her eyes briefly to relish in the feeling of Rikku scratching her scalp lightly. She swore her girlfriend was a cat in her past life. There was nothing she loved more than getting rubbed up.

"If I had told you what I told her I think it would have taken us way longer to get together."

"What do you mean?"

"With you…it's bad because I only told you things that I thought were just a little okay, I liked you, I didn't want to scare you away but then again I did,"

Rikku nodded. "Is that why you just brought me your file to read?"

Paine nodded. "But that isn't all of it."

"I know." Rikku knew there had to be more. She wasn't naïve about these things, but she decided to give Paine the benefit of the doubt and accept whatever she gave her. What did it all have to do about who she was a person deep down? "You were having a rough time."

Paine nodded. "I was…. Unrecognizable, even to myself."

"And so you told her all of this?" Paine nodded. "What happened?"

"She touched me…"

"And then you freaked out." Rikku finished knowing Paine well enough by now.

Paine sighed. "Yeah." She was ashamed at herself. "She didn't want me to leave though…" Paine turned her head to look up at Rikku. "She asked me not to leave."

"It means that she still wants to care, Paine."

"I don't want her pity."

"So then don't accept it, but before you jump to any conclusions make sure it's pity she's offering."

Paine sighed and turned her head back to stare at the wall across the room. "She was singing when I found her, and playing piano. She…I think I reacted the way I did because she really touched me…in an emotional sense?" Paine shook her head lightly. "I'm not used to being, having it affect me…people."

"You're only human. What song was she singing?"

"One she wrote. It was sad…she started to cry."

"She knew you were there?"

Paine shook her head no. "I felt bad like…I shouldn't have seen it or maybe…I don't know."

"And yet she asked you to stay?"

Paine thought on it. "Yeah, I guess so."

##

Paine raised an eyebrow up at Rikku as she showed up at the gym Wednesday dressed in workout clothes. "Hi?"

"Hi Pai, Hi Teedus." Rikku smiled sadly at the boy who looked an absolute wreck. He smiled at Rikku half heartily but went back to helping Simone do a roaster check for their intramurals.

"Uh…what are you doing here?" Paine asked a little confused.

"What does it look like I'm doing here? Going to spinning class."

"Spinning?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah you know the bikes." She made a peddling motion with her hands.

Paine shook her head and stood. "Yeah I know what spinning is but why?"

"Because…."

"Because why? That class is stupid."

"Paine." Simone warned.

Paine glanced back at her boss. "Sorry, it's only my friend though; she's hardly a customer…"

"Hey!"

Simone laughed and turned back to the roster.

Paine turned back to Rikku. "Why don't you want to take my class? It starts in ten minutes."

Rikku smiled at Paine. "I do not want to take your class because for one I don't get any special gir…_friend_-" She gave Paine a look. "—privileges. And you tried to kill me last time so no thanks." Paine made a face and Rikku chuckled before pinching her cheek and running off before she was late.

Paine opened her locker in the gym later that day and jumped when she felt someone touch her side. She turned to see a slightly sweaty version of Rikku with her towel over her shoulder. "Fuck, your quiet you know that?" Paine shook her head. Rikku didn't say anything. "What?"

"You have my picture in your locker." She point to the side door where there was a calendar and a simple picture of the two of them; Paine was dressed way down in a white v neck shirt and jeans and Rikku was dressed semi formally in a dress and heels, her blonde hair was down and in Paine's opinion she was the prettiest woman in the room that night. It was taken at her second fashion show with Yuna the semester previously. Paine had just gotten out of changing once the whole thing was over. Rikku didn't know why the small picture surprised her, they had been dating for about eight months now, somehow she just thought Paine wasn't the type to be all sentimental and have a picture of her in places she didn't know about. Then again Paine still had her chocobo plushie in her car, and often times she could be caught wearing the simple Al Bhed beaded bracelet Rikku got for her. They all had meanings but this particular one meant safe travels, when it wasn't on her wrist it was in her car.

Rikku shook her head mentally, how on Spira could she forget that her girlfriend was a big mush ball behind all that armor?

Paine grabbed her messenger bag and closed her locker, the smallest blush at her cheeks. "How was _spinning_?"

Rikku smiled at what she did and then shook her head. "It was fun, and the best part?"

"The bikes do all the work for you?"

"Nope, I don't feel like I want to die."

"Hm." Paine grumbled.

"So I'm gonna shower and head to class but uh…" She gave Paine a flirtatious wink. "It doesn't start for another forty five minutes."

Paine looked around to see if anyone had heard her. "No, I'm mad at you.'

Rikku laughed. "Whyyyyy?"

Paine hiked her messenger bag onto her shoulder. "Because you went to spinning." She began to walk off.

Rikku grabbed her arm and pulled her back into a kiss. The action startled Paine a little but not enough to stop her from turning Rikku around and pressing her up against the locker she had just closed. It was kind of like not having your favorite ice cream for a little while and then finally having it remembering exactly why it was your favorite. Rikku's lips when engaged in a heated kiss were so soft and responsive, her hands sneaky, and her mouth cool to the touch of Paine's tongue. Paine gripped Rikku's thigh and the shorter woman purred in response.

It only lasted for a half minute until Paine pulled away quickly and looking around. Rikku was a bit breathless but a very satisfied smile stood out on her face. Paine turned back to her and shook her head. She picked up her messenger bag and pointed at Rikku accusingly. "You're trouble, Bayla." Rikku laughed as she walked off running a very frustrated hand through her short hair.

She tilted her head and watched Paine's hips as she left.

Rikku leaned back on the locker and took a breath. "Mmm." She hummed trying to calm herself down a little. With a slight shake of the head she pushed herself off the locker and headed to the showers. After her shower she got changed and left the ladies locker room at the rec center. She waved at Tidus who gave her a small wave back before looking back to what she was doing. A five minute walk toward a few benches near one of the most popular academic building found Rikku at a wooden round table. Yuna was waiting with a hot cider and a green tea. The air was still a bit nippy and wet so her head was covered but her characteristically long braid was exposed to the elements.

"He looks miserable." Rikku sat down near her and accept her hot cider with a smile in thanks.

Yuna sighed. "Well tonight they announce the drafted players."

"Are you going to go? I think I am with Paine, y'know to support Wakka. Little Viddy will be there."

"As much as I love seeing his little cheeks I don't know."

"Regardless of everything you're still proud of him right?"

"Of course I am. He's in the majors now, that's what he wanted and has worked for his entire life."

Rikku took a sip of her drink. "Well then show him that you are, and that you really do care. Come with us."

Yuna nodded. "Rikku I have to be honest I don't know what's happening to me. I've never felt so…So just out right….." She sighed and Rikku touched her hand with her left one.

"It's cause you love him?"

Yuna shook her head at Rikku. "No, it's because I know I'm going to lose him and for some reason the aftermath is what scares me most. What if I never find someone who will accept that I love what I do and want to be the best, and with that come sacrifices? What if this is the beginning of a long road of heartache?"

##

"Datto Venitifski, The Besaid Aurochs!"

Everyone clapped as Datto, a stocky senior with a buzz cut came to accept the Besaid Aurochs hat and put it on his head.

"Wakka D'Autry, Your very own Luca Goers!" The crowd went wild, even though he was a private person it was hard for anyone to really not know who Wakka was. He stood about six feet two inches with huge shoulders and wild red hair. Wakka stood in his suit and everyone laughed as he looked at the hat and slicked his hair back quickly to put the hat back on. He searched the crowd and smiled cutely at Lulu. Lulu mouthed something to him that was lost to the noisy crowd. He turned and shook his coach's hand and then went to stand in line with Datto and his other drafted teammates.

"Tidus Meadows, The Zanarkand Abes!"

A substantial number of female voices cheered. It was no secret he had a fan base, but Tidus couldn't help search the crowd for one in particular. He found her and watched as she clapped. He put his hat on and shook his coaches hand before turning back to the crowd specifically Yuna.

After the rest of the names were called and the ceremony was the players were invited complete everyone who actually knew back to a large room in the Sport complex on campus for refreshments.

"Alright, cute picture guys." Rikku smiled after taking a picture of Wakka and Lulu.

"Ay thanks for comin' ya?" Wakka nodded as he walked over to Paine who was leaning on a stroller that Vidina was sleeping in. Wakka leaned down and touched his cheek. "Little guy fell asleep did he?"

"Yup, this place is way to boring for the both of us." Paine joked.

"Oh c'mon I thought it was pretty cool, I didn't know Keepa was joining the Goers too." Rikku sighed when she looked at little Vidina open his mouth in his mouth and then close it in his sleep. "Get me away from this baby before I take him home with me."

Paine laughed and gently guided Rikku toward the refreshments. "Yooo they have cake here." Paine picked up a small plate excitedly.

Rikku laughed at her enthusiasm. She smoothed out a small wrinkle on Paine's white button down and left her hand there affectionately before looking about the room. "Ooh Pypo look!"

"What?" Paine looked away from the very large congratulatory birthday cake flavored cake and looked to where Rikku motioned to with her chin. Yuna and Tidus had just approached one another. "Huh? Oh."

Rikku turned to look at her."Ooh How is the Elma Gippal thing?"

Paine sighed. "They went to the thing together last weekend with Lai and Nooj, I talked to him and he said it was mad weird so how the hell do I know hm?"

"Well you live there, and you haven't been by me." The two began to walk back toward Lulu and Wakka who had found a table to sit at.

"How long we gotta stay here for ya?" Wakka complained.

Lulu rolled her eyes. "You're the captain of the tem Wakka, sit still a minute."

"I just wanna get outta diss suit ya? It's itchy." Wakka squirmed in his seat.

"I've been trying to stay out of whatever the hell is happening between them. This morning I went downstairs and there was milk all over the floor and Gippal was cleaning it up, he even had some in his hair."

Wakka laughed as the two came to sit down beside him. "I got stories for days on those too Dr. P."

"Here's a story I want answered." Paine turned to Wakka before stabbing her cake and taking a piece out. "Where the hell is Nooj?"

"He texted me the other day asking something about hair gel…."

"Well at least we know he's alive." Paine shook her head and took a bite of her cake. "Mm, I forgot to get coffee." She stood. "Do you guys want anything?" Lulu and Wakka both shook their head.

Rikku looked up at her. "Can you get me one of those little sandwiches?"

"All they have is ham left, babe."

"Drats," Rikku shook her head. "I swear at the end of this month I'm eating a pound of bacon."

"You want cake?"

"No I'll just eat yours." Rikku pulled Paine's plate closer to her.

Paine nodded and wondered off.

"Why can't you eat ham ya?" Wakka asked.

"It's the hottest month in Bikanel now, so it's a part of the custom to not eat the heaviest protein, and there we don't have cows runnin' around the desert, but we have hog and well..It's too hot.…" Rikku tried to explain. Wakka just seemed even more confused.

"But yuh over here…."

"It's just a part of the culture."

"Oh." He nodded.

Lulu chuckled softly. "So Rikku, this whole graduate school thing. Are you excited?"

##

Rikku stepped out of her shower late that night wearing gray panties and a long sleeve purple sweater that hung off one of her shoulders a little. Her blonde hair was up in a bun and still a little damp from her moisturizing treatment. Paine was sitting at the desk writing something down in a little notebook. The TV was on and she just about finished whatever she was writing because closed the book quickly and tucked into her messenger bag for school on the floor before getting up and getting onto the bed. "What were you writing?" Rikku questioned as she turned to her vanity to put some face cream on.

"Just something for school." Paine lied.

"Hm." Rikku shrugged it off as nothing and went to her door to lock it and turned off the light before crawling onto her bed. She crawled over Paine a little and leaned down to steal a soft kiss. "Ladies night."

"Ladies night?" Paine asked completely confused at the context.

Rikku nodded and rolled over to her back beside Paine who was sitting up. "Yunie needs a ladies night."

"Why do I not like the way this is sounding?"

"Because Pai you never had one before." Rikku sat up. "When my first boyfriend and I broke up I was sad….mainly because now I had to carry my own stuff, but still sad. Yunie said we needed a ladies night, and so we went and got ice cream and watched movies and all that good stuff and I felt better." Paine gave Rikku a look. "Just listen, now that we are older ice cream can be…cocktails."

"So…."

"So Yunie needs to just let her hair down and have some fun, me too, you stress me out you know that?"

Paine laughed and picked up the remote. "So you guys go and have fun."

"No you have to come too, and Lulu and Elma….ladies night."

"Wait a minute if I stress you out, why do I have to come?"

"Because you stress me out when you're stressed out. You need to unwind or you're going to get burned out by the time your thirty."

Paine sighed and flipped through the channels. "Good luck getting Elma."

"She'll come; you just try and get your sis on board."

Paine rolled her eyes. "You've known her longer, you call her."

"Fine, since you are so afraid of talking to her."

"I'm not afraid, I'll call her, I'm just saying you knew her longer or whatever, I'll call." It took Paine a minute to realize that the oldest trick in the book had worked on her.

"This is a good idea." Rikku nodded to herself.

"Cocktails in the city?"

"Yeah, we'll get a little buzzed, talk crap about our partners, present company excluded." Paine huffed and Rikku giggled. "And then we will all go home….we should do karaoke!"

"No."

"Fine, fine. So Friday night sound good huh? What do you have to do for the rest of the week?"

Paine continued to flip through channels. "Nothing really just work and stuff, I have a paper to write on the chemical process that takes place when you flex a muscle and then another short thing on concentration gradients…"

"So do you wanna come over Friday after school and we'll work on homework then get ready and leave and then come back and do it?"

"Yeah…" Paine said still staring at the TV until what Rikku actually said hit her. "Wait what?"

"Huh?"

Paine raised an eyebrow and Rikku played innocent. "You wanna fuck?"

She scrunched up her face. "Not when you say it like that. Gosh."

Paine laughed a little. "Sweet passionate love on the beach under the night's sky?"

"Have you been reading my diary?" Rikku joked causing Paine to laugh more.

"But um…" Paine began once she calmed down. "Look I know I haven't really been here…." She motioned to the small space between them on the bed, "It's not because I don't want it it's just that you deserve all my attention and with all this other shit happening…I…" Paine always felt out of her element when talking about affection, she didn't know when or if that would go away.

Rikku smiled at her softly. "I understand, but this is why you need a ladies night, everything is gonna be okay, I'll take good care of you." She winked and Paine laughed before leaning in and taking a quiet kiss from her girlfriend.

"You gonna take care of me?" Paine asked flirtatiously.

"Mhm." Rikku nodded quickly. "Gonna lay it down somethin' serious." Rikku bit her lip cutely and made a few hand motions. Paine couldn't help herself, she just about started to cry with laughter at that. Rikku pouted. "Hey! Hey I'm serious!"

Paine leaned in and kissed her. "I love you." She kissed her again.

Rikku smiled a bit dizzy from the change. "Aww."

"What?"

"It's just…nothing." Rikku smiled.

"What?" Paine asked softly. "Tell me."

"I just like hearing you say that."

"That I love you?"

"mhm." Rikku nodded.

"Well I do." It was still relatively new to Paine, she never said to anyone ever, Rikku made it easy though. She didn't make her feel awkward about her feelings, that was one of the hugest things Paine appreciated. She sighed when something else came to mind. "Rikku?"

"Yesss?"

"Are you nervous about graduation?"

Rikku tilted her head. "Yeah."

"What about it?"

"Mmm, just ending something, I mean we've been in school our whole lives mostly and now it's time to take all that stuff we've ever learned and apply it toward life….That's a lot of pressure cause I was absent a lot in the third grade…."

"Yeah…."

"You?"

"I just don't wanna fail."

"You won't, you super smart and you are good at what you do."

"Thanks babe."

"Have you narrowed down a place yet? To live?"

"You mean a shoebox right?"

Rikku chuckled and they both took a second to settle down into bed and turn off the TV. It was really late and Rikku had to actually get up early with Paine tomorrow morning. "Well it will be your own shoebox, you think you'll get alone?"

"What do you mean?" Very very rarely it showed that Common was Rikku's second language, Paine found it endearing, she could only imagine Rikku as a little girl struggling to make sense of past participle's and turning nouns into adjectives.

"Like feel lonely."

"Well that's why I have you."

Rikku chuckled a little. "I'm not going to live there though Pai."

"You could…"

The room fell quiet.

"Did you just ask me to—"

"No."

"Oh….Are you sure?"

Paine scratched at her head trying to defuse her slip up. "I'm just thinking about what will change if anything."

"Well you'll be a working adult and I'll be your leachy student girlfriend."

"Why leachy?"

Rikku shrugged. "Cause I'll be poor."

Paine chuckled and put her arm around Rikku's shoulders. Rikku cuddled up close to rest her head on Paine's collar. "You'll just be a regular New Lucan."

"I was thinking about it the other day, and I don't know how to do a lot of stuff like you do."

"Like what?"

"Well I only know a few of the trains and like none of the busses."

"I can teach you all that."

"Or I can just be leachy and have you drive me places."

"I'll be working…somewhere."

"You'll find somewhere."

"I know I will but I hate having to work somewhere I don't like…I may have to the first couple years though."

"What about modeling?"

"Not counting it, once I get my full time I'll quit."

"But you can make so much money in it."

"There are more passionate people who deserve the opportunity…Plus its unreliable income, I need to have a structure. Plus I have hospital bills…" Paine ran a hand threw her hair.

"hey hey hey none of that!" Rikku pulled at her hand.

"Don't rush to be out here Rikks, It's not fun."

Rikku sighed and thought about that for a moment. "I have to talk to Pops about money anyway…"

"Hm?"

"Well I have to pay for graduate school somehow."

"He still bummed you're not doing law?"

"Of course he is."

"Yeah well, he's gonna have to deal with it."

"Yeah."

"So you've decided Architecture?"

"Yup. I spoke with my professor and she was happy, she gave me her contact info just in case I needed another letter of recommendation."

"I told you'd figure it out."

"Yeah well you could have tried to make me believe you, I was freaking out. Besides I still don't know…" Rikku yawned lightly and stretched the small distance to place a kiss on Paine's cheek before closing her eyes. "Do you wanna talk about your mom?""

Paine sighed. "No."

The blonde yawned again. "I miss mine." She hugged Paine a little closer with her right arm.

Paine rubbed her back gently. "I know baby."

"So it's okay to miss someone you barely knew, okay?"

Paine nodded; she always knew just what to say to leave Paine awake and thinking that the universe wasn't out to get her. "Okay."

11 months is a long time, and granted twenty years is longer, Paine had almost forgotten that she was just a normal baby for 11 months. With that thought Paine closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep.

##

"Hey Dr. P." Tidus greeted the next day when Paine came in for work.

Paine rested her coffee cup down and nodded. "You talking?"

"Yeah sorry about the other day I was just…" He ran a hand through his hair. "Oscar passed away and then well you already know what's going on with Yuna and I…."

"It's cool man." She sat down and turned on her computer. "You wanna be my punching bag today? Wakka has class later and I needed someone for a demo." She had a class to start soon.

"Sure." Paine nodded in response and Tidus stood from his seat to stand beside her. "Um look so I was wondering –"

"I don't really wanna get involved." Paine cut him off already knowing what he wanted from his look.

"I just wanna know what she's thinking."

"Ask her."

"You're dating Rikku…"

"Yeah?"

"So you have to know what it's like to try and talk to them when they don't want to share what their thinking. It's driving me crazy and I..."

"It's not the same."

"Pleasssseeeeee."

Paine looked around. What was it with blonde people and causing scenes? "For fucks sake fine, what do you wanna know?"

"Is she going to break up with me?"

"Tidus I don't know what makes you think I know?"

"You guys are always together."

"Correction, Rikku and Yuna are always together, Ask Rikku."

"But then she's going to tell Yuna I asked and we're fighting sort of."

"Fighting sort of?" Paine shook her head. "Look, I think you two should just sit down and talk about what you want, and if it doesn't add up then just split."

"You think that's easy? I love her."

"Yeah well, it beats all this running around driving yourself crazy."

"If it were Rikku…."

"We're not talking about Rikku right now." Paine almost snapped. "So don't." She didn't know why all of a sudden people could talk to her about her personal life, maybe she was growing soft after all.

Tidus raised his eyebrow in surprise. "Gee fine, I'm just saying it's easier said than done."

Paine sighed. "You had to have seen this coming."

Tidus shrugged. "I really thought she would come with me."

"Yuna has things she wants to accomplish too y'know."

"I know but—"

"If you know and respect that then there shouldn't be a but. She had dreams before you it doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

Tidus fell silent.

A few hours passed and Paine was back in her front desk clothes working the slow hour and doing her homework. Tidus left for lunch leaving Paine to peace and quiet.

She glanced up when she heard the glass doors opened a familiar clinking of bangles. Rikku was soon in front of her with a sad sort of look about her. Paine sat up completely at this. "What's wrong?"

"Elma can't come."

"Come to what?"

"Ladies night!"

Paine nodded quickly. "Alright alright don't start blinking like that, here I'll call her." Paine reached forward and dialed nine and then her roommates number. "Em? Hey it's me….oh?" Paine sat back in her seat. "Did he say why?...Five mg sounds real small….yeah I know that but….okay we'll build up." She glanced at Rikku's hopeful face. "Yeah I'll come around later to pick them up…..but hey listen about ladies night….yeah she's standing right here…Why? Seriously Elma? You're going, you two can't keep doing this….no I'll see you tonight…no I don't care….bye." Paine hung up and crossed her arms below her chest. "What else?" She smiled smugly.

Rikku searched her backpack on her and pulled out what first looked like a very small ball of fabrics. "My scrunchies got all tangled." She handed the huge knot to Paine.

"How does this even happen?" Paine asked looking at the intricate tangling. She sighed and put it aside. "I'll work on it."

Rikku smiled. "You're amazing."

"I know."

"See you at home!" Rikku blew her a little kiss before running off again.

Paine sighed and shook her head. There was that word again.

Home

Her girlfriend was tricky, she was also just a little ditzy when she was ready. So it could be a slip of the tongue or a very fine plan to drop hints on something. Paine didn't know. She sat back in her chair and began working on untangling the hair ties as she thought.

Finally she just leaned forward and picked up the phone.

##

"Drugs?" Carlo asked as he worked under Keira's leaky kitchen sink.

"Yes, heavily." She was holding a cup of coffee in her hands and nursing it slowly. Tonight was opening night once again she needed to pace herself. She began to pace then. "I mean I don't even know how much worse I can feel."

"She doesn't blame you does she?"

"I don't know."

"She can't."

Keira ran a hand through her hair. "Thanks, but Carlito."

Carlo sighed. "You two need to start to build a future not try and board up that old abandoned house of your past." He blindly reached for a wrench.

"I know it was hard for her. Yevon the look on her face." She placed her coffee down. "She flinched away from me so quickly and then just left."

"You tried to do that comforting touchy thing that you do didn't you?"

"I can't help it, Carlo she's my child."

"Yeah but…Keira…"

She sighed. "I know…"

"She's twenty one, and I don't think she feels like your child."

Keira picked up her coffee and took a sip. "…You think I pushed too far?"

"She didn't call or anything huh?" Just then if on cue Keira's cell phone went off. The two paused and Carlo pulled himself up, for a moment they just stared at the phone a bit mystified. "Answer it." He pushed Keira lightly.

"Hello?"

"Hey Keira?"

"Yes hello?"

"It's Paine."

"Oh, hi Paine." She walked off with the phone.

Paine sat nervously trying to untangle Rikku's scrunchies as she held the phone between her ear and her shoulder. "Do you…wanna meet up somewhere?"

"Now?"

Paine glanced at the clock. "Too short notice?"

"No no I just have to be back at work for five, opening night."

"Oh shit then uh no we can do this some other—"

"No no I want to see you."

"Okay." Paine sighed. "Do you know where NLU is?"

##

"Paine?" Rikku furrowed her brows . She and Yuna were supposed to meet up with her for a second before they headed off campus. "Holy Machina." Rikku laughed and covered her mouth when Keira turned around. The older woman was standing in that stance she knew to be originally Paine's and then she was wearing a beanie hiding her long smoky hair.

Yuna had to laugh at the look on Rikku's face. It was truly one for the books.

"Sorry." Keira said feeling a little awkward.

"No no I apologize you just…you stand like her?" Rikku's cheeks flushed. She turned to Yuna . "Oui druikrd cra muugat mega ran duu nekrd?" Yuna nodded. "Fryd'c cra tuehk rana?" Yuna shrugged.

"That's rude y'know." Paine said approaching the three.

Rikku turned to look at her girlfriend and sighed when it was truly her and not another clone running around. She didn't know if she could take that. Paine was just an inch taller, her skin a tad paler and her nose and eyes clearly of Moore family traits. Also the energy about her just seemed familiar to the blonde. How could she not know her Pypo? "What?"

"Speaking in Al Bhed when someone doesn't understand it."

"Rude?" Rikku shook her head and turned to Keira. "I wasn't saying anything rude."

Keira chuckled softly. How were these two together? "I believe you."

Rikku turned to Paine and smiled. "Ladies night!"

Paine rolled her eyes. "I'll be there."

"Okay, bye." Rikku squeezed Paine's forearm gently and left with her cousin.

"You speak Al Bhed?" Keira tried.

Paine turned from watching Rikku leave. "Um, if I have to."

"But you understand it, quite fluently."

"Yeah." Paine shrugged. "My best friend he's Al Bhed and well, Rikku she's Al bhed and… yeah." She wasn't about to bring up the old parlor woman who had practically raised her.

"I visited Home city a few times for shows, very nice people, and their food is simply divine, although sometimes a little too spicy for me."

"Bevelleians usually think so."

Keira wasn't sure if it was a joke or not, so she let it go. "This is where you go to school?" She asked sticking her hands into her pockets.

Paine nodded. "Only till summer, then I would have graduated."

"Oh wow, congratulations."

Paine shrugged. "Thanks."

They stood there awkwardly for a few more seconds. "Rikku was it? She seems very nice…."

"Yeah, she is." Paine said simply. "Um…look I guess maybe you coming all the way out here wasn't necessary."

"No?"

"I wanted to talk yes but um…I kinda feel bad about it being opening night."

"Oh I've done this for quite a while; I know what I'm missing and what I'm not missing. I don't live too far either."

"Right."

"Would you like to sit somewhere?"

Paine nodded. "Coffee?"

The two made their way to the student run coffee house and sat at the same table Paine and Rikku had when they had their first real conversation. Paine didn't know why the thought came to her, but it had to be because of the time of year. The blonde was sitting reading a law book and eating a banana nut muffin. Paine was apologizing for basically calling her a slut and then she ran making an excuse to have to work.

Keira sat across from Paine watching her carefully. She seemed to be in her own head. It wasn't until their coffees came that she was brought out of whatever memory she was having. "I don't like people touching me, it seems weird but I like space." Paine started.

Keira nodded. "I gathered as much from the last time we spoke."

"I like to run from things too…" Paine admitted. "I apologize if…um I kind of hit you with some stuff last time…"

"I was surprised, yes."

"It doesn't mean none of it isn't true and it doesn't mean there isn't more but…" Paine sighed at herself. "I'm not good at talking about how I feel so…"

Keira tilted her head. "With Martha you seemed to have a good understanding."

"That's different." Paine took a sip of her coffee and waited for her insides to warm up as it traveled throughout her. "I came to tell you that um, I think I can try; there are just so many things that I didn't think I needed to know but now…"

"I feel the same way."

"Do you?" Paine asked curiously.

"For you it was nothing, you probably remember very little if anything at all, but I…I was there when I learned that I was pregnant. I went to those classes alone, I…went through labor, my body has changed forever because of you and that's not something you ever forget. I tried to…." Keira looked away a little ashamed at her truth. "I tried to go one like you were just a chapter in my life, like this city was just a chapter, but I can't do that anymore….I don't…I don't know how to just let you go."

Paine stared at her trying to process the words. "I don't need any more help though." She shrugged. She was an adult, she was grown up already.

"You never needed me, which is apparent." Keira motioned to her. "You've grown to be a beautiful young woman no thanks to me or your father."

"So then what do we do?"

Keira raised an eyebrow slightly. "I don't know."

"Do I just know you…go on like you're just some person that I know….It doesn't seem right."

"Maybe we can start out that way."

Paine sighed. She still didn't know what she wanted or if she wanted anything from Keira at all. Well that was a lie, she did want answers. Answers was a starting point that Paine was okay with. She took another sip of her coffee and let it warm her again. "I don't have to call you mom do I?"

Keira laughed a little. "No, that would make me feel old." Keira was ready to reach her hand out but stopped herself. "I want you to be comfortable, whatever you want, I am okay with. I just…I want to know you."

"Why though?"

"I've accepted that I can't be a mother to you in that sense, I can't coddle you or sing to you like when you were little. I missed that chance, so now I just…." She shrugged. "I need a chance to show you that it was not for nothing."

##

"Hold me Pai, hold me!" Rikku extended her arms as she started to try and climb on the other woman.

"Fuck-babe no, stop." Paine groaned but gave in and let Rikku climb onto her back. "I swear to Shiva one of these days I'm going to drop your happy ass." She mumbled as she hoisted Rikku up better and wrapped her arms around her thighs.

"Should they be…" Elma asked as she strolled alongside the duo. She turned to Yuna quickly and began to regret it when the street turned upside down. "Whaaa."

"It's okay they do it all the time." Yuna shook her head already used to their shenanigans.

Rikku hugged her arms around Paine's neck. "_Oh yes its ladies night and the feelin's right oh yes its ladies night_….Let's go to another bar!"

"No!" Everyone said in unison.

Rikku cowered down closer to Paine's head. "Fine….babies."

"Princess it's four in the morning, the bars are closed." Paine was more tired than anything at this point.

"There has to be one open somewhere. Where do alcoholics go?"

"If you drink anymore you'd piss vodka Cid's girl." Elma pointed out. It caused Paine to laugh.

"Whatever Elllmmmaaaaaa." Rikku giggled.

"I'm not tired yet, why am I not tired yet?" Yuna asked looking down at her hands and not where she was going. "Why do we have five finger and not seven….?"

"Paine!" Rikku slapped Paine's arm excitedly.

"Yes my love?" Paine asked.

"We should smoke."

Elma's face lit up. "Dr. P lets smoke these two out."

Yuna's eyes got wide and she changed her voice to a whisper. "Smoke pot?"

Paine laughed. "Scared?"

"I'm not afraid of anything." Yuna defended cutely.

Rikku laughed. "Can we get those little coconut doughnuts from Rins first Pypo?"

"Why am I carrying you?"

"Because me feet hurt."

Paine sighed and then nudged Elma. "You wanna go get something?"

She nodded. "We'll go half and half."

"I'm not even that drunk." Paine nodded; she was so down for a smoke.

"I'm a little drunk Dr.P but it'll wear off, what about Rikku?" She motioned to the blonde on Paine's back who was now resting her eyes. It seemed Yuna was well awake though.

Paine thought about. "She'll smoke a little and then pass out…or…she'll just pass out." Paine chuckled as she felt her girlfriend grow just a bit heavier. It was more of the week that had her tired than anything else. They hadn't done any dancing, just as Rikku said, cocktails, a few laughs, and before they knew it the bar was closing. Lulu went home, understandably so, and the other four women decided to walk back to Rikku's.

"So let's do it then, where though?"

"We'll go to Rikku's since we're already on our way there. I'll put her down and then you go and get the stuff."

Elma nodded and then turned to Yuna. "What's sayin'? You wanna walk on the wild side?" She winked and Yuna laughed but blushed a little.

"Yeah I'll go with you."

##

Paine stumbled in the dark and finally let out a sigh of relief when she found Rikku's bed. She rested her girlfriend down and was surprised to feel her hands stay around her neck. "Where you going?" She mumbled.

"The attic."

"Stay here."

"Rikks you're passed out, go back to sleep baby."

Rikku pulled Paine so she was on top of her on the bed; it wasn't a very hard feat considering her arm placement. "We're doing it tonight remember?"

Paine chuckled. "You've been drinking."

"That doesn't mean I don't want you."

Paine smirked and placed a little kiss on her lips. "Sleep okay?"

Rikku pouted. "No. Everybody gets you but me. It's not fair."

Paine tried to hide her laugh because in Rikku's mind she was being serious, but in her eyes she looked so adorable."You are the only person that gets me."

"So then show me."

Paine sighed and rolled onto her side and wrapped Rikku up in her arms as she spooned her from behind. "You see?" She placed a little kiss on the tip of Rikku's right ear and resting her head so they were cheek to cheek.

Rikku yawned and snuggled against Paine's arms, boy did her girlfriend know that all she needed was some good old fashion snuggles to calm her ever changing mood. She waited until Rikku was fast asleep to pry herself away from the blonde and pick up her leather jacket and slipping out the door. She texted Elma that she would be waiting in the attic and Yuna knew how to get in. She was about to put her phone back into her pocket when it buzzed signaling anther txt message.

_**Hey**_

Paine bit the inside of her mouth and thought for a moment before writing a quick reply.

_**Heard you were back**_

**AN:** **Sooooo :D Review won't you?**

**KatheleenDee **


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter Forty Eight**

**AN: For Rikku's haircut imagine FFX Rikku and you'll have it spot on. :) Enjoy!  
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Paine sighed heavily and begged Rikku with her eyes.

Rikku climbed onto the bed beside her with her laptop on and shuffled as close to Paine as possible. She stretched out her legs and rested the laptop on her lap. "Let's start."

Paine sat back on the bed and sighed again. She ran a hand through her hair and glanced at Rikku. "I don't want to anymore."

Rikku matched her glance and then went back to opening a new browser. "This was your idea." She typed in the school's email account service and typed in Paine's email before glancing at her girlfriend for her password.

Paine shook her head but then soon gave in. "PK2284."

Rikku furrowed her brows but typed it in anyway. "What's that?"

Paine shifted a little to get a better look at the computer screen over Rikku's shoulder. "My number at the center."

"They gave you guy's numbers? Like prisoners?" Rikku turned her head to look at Paine.

"It _was_ a detention center, babe….click on that." Paine motioned dot her chin at an email from her boss. Rikku opened the email and Paine read it and nodded before resting her back on the frame of the bed.

Rikku closed out the email and opened a blank draft. "Okay so…Dear Mommy…"

Paine groaned. "Stop, its bad enough you're making me do this."

Rikku chuckled lightly and then turned back to Paine. "Pypo this was your idea, _you_ were the one that came to bed last night as high as a kite saying that you wanted to say more but didn't know how to…"

"I think we are ignoring one important detail in that statement."

"What?"

"I was high off my face; you shouldn't have taken anything I said seriously."

"You told me that you loved me and wanted to be with me always."

"I said that?" Rikku nodded and Paine shook her head. "Like I was saying—"

"Hey!"

Paine laughed a little but then her features returned back to normal. "I don't think I knew what I was saying…about Keira."

"I think you do but..." Rikku sighed. "I'm not going to make you write to her." Paine didn't say anything and Rikku went back to scrolling through her inbox like the nosy girlfriend she claimed not to be. "Ooh Pypo look, a health fair this Monday in the quad….free food, games, and STD screenings…We should totally go!"

Paine shook her head no and rubbed at her face. Her stoner headache had long since gone away from the night before but she couldn't help but feel crummy. Maybe she was coming down with something or maybe she was just as confused as ever and her body was trying to distract her.

"Why not? You like free things, I like free things, and plus you know what they say."

Paine opened one eye and looked at Rikku. "What exactly do they say, Princess?"

"The couple that get's tested together gets?" Rikku raised an eyebrow for Paine to finish.

"Arrested together?"

Rikku laughed. "No silly, get's invested together, duh."

"Babe don't you think it's too late for this? I mean if I had something or if you had something we definitely already gave it to one another..."

Rikku shook her head quickly. "Well I still think it's important, y'know with the way you slutted it up before we met."

Paine laughed. "Please let's not."

Rikku feigned a look of surprise, but would admit to feeling the smallest pang of guilt or hurt or whatever on the inside. She shook her head and looked back to the screen at the many unread school events sent to Paine's inbox. "Well I'm going to go."

"Yeah, for the free food." Paine brought up one of her knees and put her hands behind her head to stretch out her hands.

"No for a piece of mind…"

"Piece of mind?" She sat up a little. "What are you worried about?"

"Nothing I'm just saying that these things are good to do y'know? Nothing…"

Paine watched her for a moment and then resumed her previous position. "Well before I had the stent removed and they had to be all up in my business a test is required and I'm clean so…."

"Paine I wasn't saying that you weren't I'm just saying that these things are good to do. Like going to the dentist, I go twice a year because—"

"Because you eat your weight in jelly beans, I know."

Rikku was about to say something but closed her mouth and sent Paine a little smile. She went back to the computer.

Paine sat there in thought as Rikku tinkered on the computer. "I think I work too…"

"Any excuse…."

Paine sighed feeling a little bad; she pushed it away and opted for a different conversation. "Yuna is pretty fucking funny high…."

"I missed it." Rikku pouted as she logged out of Paine's email and into her own.

"Yeah it was too good, she had Em and I rolling but um…"

Rikku turned to her. "What?"

"This thing with her and Tidus? What do you think is going to happen?"

"Oh well look at this, I thought you didn't want to get involved?" Rikku leaned her shoulder into Paine's a little.

"I don't I'm just concerned."

"because you care."

"No, because I'm just concerned."

"Because Yunie is your friend."

"No, she's going to be my boss soon."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means we can't hang out and stuff."

"Oh Pypo, I swear sometimes I really wonder what goes on in that great big head of yours."

Paine pointed to herself. "I do not have a big head."

Rikku shrugged. "Alright but you do have big boobs." She began to laugh but jumped when Paine grabbed her. "Ah! The computer Paine, no tickles! No tickles!" Paine laughed as Rikku squirmed.

"Take it back!"

"No!"

"Fine." Paine playfully bit on Rikku's neck as she tickled her and they began to wrestle one another.

"Okay okay okay okay!" Rikku kicked out of Paine's hold and moved to the farthest edge of the bed she could move to without falling off or knocking her computer off in the process. "Truce!" She was out of breath and it made Paine chuckle at how cute she looked in that moment; cheeks red and hair ruffled. Paine took the opportunity to take the laptop and rest it on her own lap. "Lai's been bothering me to make one of those pages…."

"A Mugpad ?" Rikku asked as she caught her breath and scooted closer to her girlfriend. "You should, so we can be friends and stuff."

"We're already friends though…" Paine said seriously.

Rikku laughed and took the laptop off her lap. "Here let me show you mine, I haven't been on in a while but you get the juiciest gossip. People just put their lives on this thing its crazy…" Rikku logged in and showed Paine her page. "I used it in high school mostly."

"I can tell form your picture. " She smiled at a young version of her girlfriend. "You were cute."

"Aw, here look at Yunie and I in chemistry look how we dressed!"

"Still don't think this thing is for me though." Paine concluded after they looked at Yuna's profile and Baralai's.

"I may delete mine."

"You should, the internet is full of weirdoes and sex addicts." Paine shook her head.

Rikku only laughed. "Okay baby."

"Speaking of sex…."

"Were we?"

Paine shrugged. "Turns out Tidus isn't good at it."

"What guy is?" Rikku asked seriously as she went back to Paine's email. They were getting off track. "Wait a minute is that what Yunie said last night?" Paine nodded slowly and the blonde put a hand to her mouth. "What else?"

"I just think that there is more to them breaking up than either one has let on."

Rikku made a small face. "What did Yunie say?"

Paine rested back on the bed a little. "She said that she wished he could see why she was so conflicted and that it was definitely a soulful connection more than physical."

"Well Yunie has always been like that, she always looks for what's on the inside first."

"Hm," Paine nodded. "Well I don't know if they are going to make it to be honest."

Rikku sighed, obviously saddened to hear that. "Yunie will do what she needs to do, I just hope she doesn't create this habit of delving into her work like this, Uncle B does it, ever since Yunie was born and her sus passed away that's what I have always known Uncle B to do, work work work."

Paine reached a hand out and touched Rikku's arm for no real reason. "He's never dated or nothing?"

Rikku shrugged. "If he has he hasn't said anything to anyone. You know him and Mr. Moore are tennis buddies?"

"Yeah." Paine pulled her hand away. "You told me that."

Rikku sighed and rubbed at Paine's arm with her left hand. "Sorry…I forgot."

"It's fine."

"Have you thought at all about talking to Lulu maybe about him?"

"She wants to, and it seems she's the only one because he doesn't want to deal with me and I'd rather eat my own teeth…"

Rikku giggled."Pai."

Paine sent her a sad little smile and then extended her arm for her. "C'mon, enough with the computer huh?"

Rikku was all too ready to slip into her arms and just talk, but she had to be sure. She motioned to the open draft and raised an eyebrow. "Are we sure?"

Paine nodded without saying a word. She wasn't ready, and she knew that was kind of weird seeing as how she was the one to reach out to Keira the day before, but at the same time she was barely ready for that. She needed to slow down and collect her thoughts. She meant what she said to her mother and she was starting to see that Keira simply just wanted to know her. Paine had opened herself to the request but that was about it for right now. Rikku closed her laptop and leaned over the side of the bed to place it on the ground and then give a little push under her bed so she wouldn't step on it in the morning. She turned back to Paine and gladly wrapped her right arm around her midsection and snuggled her head at the crook of her neck. "Mmmm." She hummed happily as Paine closed the embrace by wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

"You good?" Paine asked quietly. Rikku nodded and kissed her jaw lightly. "Good." Paine said more to herself.

"Pypo?"

"Hm?"

"Will you stay tonight? I know you wanted to go to Judo in the morning before Martha and stuff but…" Rikku bit her lip. "I don't like sleeping alone anymore."

"Bad dreams?"

"Is it ridiculous?"

Paine exhaled heavily. "No, baby, everyone has things they are afraid of, sometimes it shows in very vivid dreams and you wake up scared, that has happened to me plenty of times."

"It's like sometimes I'm afraid to close my eyes…" She glanced up at Paine. "It's not the subject of it all that scares me though."

"What is it?"

"It's waking up not knowing…. You know that confusion state? Where you are not sure at all if what you just saw, or did was real or not? I feel confused out of my mind for a few minutes y'know? But the one thing that always just snaps me out of that it you."

"Me…"

"You."

"How?"

"Because you're there, and you are with me which must mean that you are in fact real, and you didn't go to jail, and you're not mad at me because when I wake you up you always give me this little look." Rikku began to smile a little. It was really the best part of waking up next to Paine. "Mega oui yna zicd rybbo du caa sa ajah ev oui'na yhhuoat dryd E fuga oui."

Paine chuckled softly. "It's cause sometimes I'm real sleepy, but you're so damn cute that it's hard to be mad at you for anything really." Rikku hugged Paine closer. "It's really not fair."

"Oh c'mon, you can get whatever you wanted from me and you know it."

Paine shrugged knowing it was so. "I want you to be rested baby, have you thought of sleeping pills?"

Rikku nodded. "Pop and Uncle B swear by them, but I'm just…I'm scared of it y'know?"

Paine held Rikku a little closer."What?"

"Well sleep is a few feet from death Pai, and I'm scared of that too."

"You shouldn't be afraid of dying, it's a part of life, it's what makes things beautiful y'know?" Was it weird to say that Paine could feel a sort of energy from Rikku at that moment? "Hey." Paine whispered a little as she turned her body to be looking at Rikku. She pushed her bang away a little. "Don't be scared babe." She had that sort of skittish look in her eyes and they were a little glossy. Paine cursed herself for bringing something up that would make her feel like this. How could she really know though? The world she once thought Rikku lived in was a lot darker than she could have imagined.

Rikku let out a tired sigh and closed her eyes. "I just wanna be not scared of something….for once." Her tone really suggested that she was just done with it all. Paine cuddled closer.

"You won't be, soon enough okay? Can you trust that I know exactly what you are going through?" Rikku nodded but didn't open her eyes. "It sucks, and you feel like just nothing, like no one understands so you try but still nothing hm?" Rikku nodded again. "Being scared is just our body's way of trying to protect itself from any more hurt." She wiped at Rikku's face with her thumb. There were no tears but the blonde had just tightened her lids. "You don't have to worry, I'll protect you, I will always protect you Rikku."

Rikku sniffled. "That can't be all."

"And it's not, and I know it's not enough either, but it's what I have to offer you okay?" She rubbed at Rikku's arm that was wrapped about her midsection. "It will get better, I promise." She kissed Rikku's lips gently. "I promise." She hugged Rikku fully with a small sigh.

When was the world going to give them a break already?

##

"I just felt like…like I wasn't good enough. I got mad and angry at everyone who had ever made her cry and I just laid there with that anger for basically all night." Paine sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "What do I do to make her understand that I know how hard it is?"

Martha sat forward a little. "I think she very well knows Paine. What you just explained to me seems like a very very good example at how you are both growing. Don't you remember when you couldn't even communicate with her how you felt? I'm sure that was frustrating on her part."

"Yeah…I just knew when I was in the same situation a while back I didn't want to hear anyone say anything to me about time healing all."

"Well we already know that the two of you are different in that regard."

"What do you mean?"

"These traumatic events play out differently for everyone."

"I had dreams too though…"

"So it may be similar in a few cases, but this also means that Rikku is going to handle it, and you, differently."

Paine nodded. "I was there…"

"Exactly, if it had been anyone else she would have immediately felt a sort of bond to them like she does with you."

"But that's not all we have."

"Oh well of course not, but try and see it as a good thing instead of a negative. She's not leaning on you because you saved her from a vicious attack and she needs to cling; she's leaning on you because after that attack you were still there, unlike everyone else. You showed interest, you cared. Feeling secure with you is probably second nature to her by now, and this is not a bad thing at all."

"So why…why does it seem like it could be, like she's with me because it's easy."

"I doubt that being with you is easy."

Paine wanted to laugh but she knew it to be true. "I love her, I just want her to be happy and safe, and that's it. It hurts real bad when there is nothing I can do." Paine rubbed at her hands a little. "Y'know where I would get mad and pick fights and stuff, Rikks just gets quiet."

"That's perfectly fine Paine."

"But it's just so different from how she normally is."

"You are going to have to just accept that part of her right now. Like you said you knew how it feels, and for someone as outgoing as Rikku, she probably just needs some alone time in her head to work through things. It's perfectly normal."

Paine sighed. "Yeah…"

"As long as you continue to show her you are there and are ready and able to switch from your own prospective to hers I know that it will be fine."

Paine sighed and looked away.

Martha tilted her head knowing the young woman's nonverbal cues pretty well by now. "But this isn't all is it?"

Paine shook her head no. "Dona texted me the other night."

Martha raised an eyebrow and sat back in her chair. "Really?"

"She um, she's back in town and I find myself thinking about her….not in a sexual way or anything even close to that but it still feels a little wrong."

"Why do you think so?"

"I'm just trying to make sense of everything, with a new outlook and stuff? But something tells me Rikku wouldn't see it that way."

"Does she have reason to think that you and Dona—"

Paine shook her head quickly. "No no no, I wouldn't do that to us, no. I just…." She shrugged. "I want to know what happened with things, why…why she left like she did after Bart and Shu..There is always going to be this part of me because well…"

"She's the first woman you ever slept with."

Pane nodded. "I never felt with her, and that confuses me because with Rikku I feel so much…."

"Are you looking for feelings?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know."

Martha nodded. "I hope that for your sake you are sure of a few things, Paine. Do you remember coming in here the way you did when things started to turn bad?

"They were never good to begin with."

"I would hate for you to self sabotage."

Paine sighed. "I know, and I'm trying to figure things out like…I don't want to hurt Rikku by doing so."

"At the same time you are maturing in the way you see things, you are changing and there is no denying that. Like with Gippal do not use Rikku as this thing to stop you from growing and claiming a hold of your life fully. If there is something you want to know, ask it. There should be no shame in that. Maybe this is your chance at real closure for your young self. You've gotten it with Bart in a way, you've gotten it with Gippal, you are getting it with your mother, maybe this is your inner self telling you that maybe there are some things you need to resolve before moving on completely."

Paine just nodded as she took it all in. Rikku couldn't be upset for her trying to better herself right? "Should I say something to Rikku?"

"If you think it necessary."

Paine groaned a little. "Why can't you just give me a straight answer?"

"Well that would be cheating. By making you think and do things on your own you become a more self sufficient person, Paine."

Paine got into her car after the session and decided to sit Rikku down and talk about it. She didn't like feeling guilty for her actions and she knew that honesty is something that Rikku valued most. She took a minute for the cold of her heater to disappear and turn into warmth before she pulled out her cell phone and called Rikku. It took longer than usual for the blonde to answer.

"Hey Pai." She answered a little preoccupied.

"Hey, look I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay, shoot."

"Well in person."

"Oh…"

"Can I come over? Are you home?"

"Yeah I'm here, is everything okay?"

"Well yeah it's just I wanted to talk to you, um so I'm like twenty minutes away." Paine buckled her seatbelt and began o pull out of the parking lot. "Thirty if there is traffic on the way by you."

"You're done with Martha and Judo and stuff?" Paine had left her house super early leaving Rikku to wake up to an empty bed. It was something she was kind of used to when Paine had things to get done.

"Yeah."

"How was it?"

"Judo was good, I feel more confident with my technique now y'know? What are you doing?"

"Drawing."

"Hm."

"Yunie is going to come over for pizza later. Will you be around?"

"No I think I'm just going to head home and do some stuff."

"Okay, so I'll see you soon yeah?"

Twenty eight minutes later Rikku opened the front door in gray sweats, pink and purple socks, and a white tank top. Paine hurriedly stepped inside and began to take off her jacket and shoes. "It's fucking cold today for no reason." She shook her head.

"I haven't been outside yet." Rikku nodded as she watched Paine strip down to just her jeans and a black v-neck shirt. She was wearing her Al Bhed beads today, it made Rikku smile a little. "I think I'm gonna make Yunie pick up the pizza and bring it with her. It's just too cold."

"It should warm up some more next week."

"I hope so." Rikku watched Paine for a second more. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"Um." Paine clutched at her cell phone and then motioned to the den. "Do you wanna sit down or something?"

Rikku nodded and led the way into warm den. It was definitely one of Paine's favorite rooms in the large home. She took a look around at the room, Rikku's sketch pad and a few oil pencils sat on the coffee table, a cup of cold tea, a plate with a few pastry crumbs still on it and the TV was on but muted. The two took a seat beside one another on the couch.

"So…." Rikku began studying Paine's features. Something was definitely up.

Paine scooted her back to the armrest a little so the two could look at one another better. "I made a promise that I would stay honest with you."

Rikku nodded. "I remember."

"And…well I think this is something you would want to know about."

"Okay."

Paine took her phone and handed it to Rikku. "So Dona texted me the other day and I…I replied. We've been talking back and forth…and." She could already see by the look on Rikku's face that she would need to be as crystal clear with her words as possible. "Nothing bad, I mean I've told you before that there is nothing between us."

"But you responded." Rikku sighed and unlocked Paine's phone and then went to her text messages. "Do I even want to read these Paine?" She asked looking up at her before opening the long thread.

"I just want you to trust me."

"Why are you talking to her?"

Paine sighed. "To be honest I was worried about her…"

Rikku made a sort of half surprised but then half not surprised noise. She handed her phone back to Paine and shook her head. "I don't want to know."

"Babe…"

"No because regardless of it all you know how I feel and to make matters worse you threw the biggest fit known to man when Buddy and I were friends."

"He was never your friend."

"Yes, and she was never yours."

Paine sighed. "I'm just trying to figure out what is going on okay?"

"So in conclusion your telling me that you are worried about your ex girlfriend." Rikku crossed her arms.

"No…yes…Rikks. She was never my—"

"It's fine."

"Wait a minute so you're still mad?"

Rikku shrugged. "I don't know how else you expect me to take this. The fact that you have been texting her all weekend…that I know of."

"Wait wait wait, I'm telling you this because it just happened and I made a promise to you. I'm not planning on getting with her or even meeting her anywhere. I just want closure. "

"Closure?"

Paine nodded. "Yes."

Rikku pressed her lips together and looked away from Paine for a minute. "How do you plan on getting closure, Paine?"

Paine bit the inside of her mouth in thought. She really hadn't thought that part out. "I don't—"

"You don't know." Rikku finished for her. Rikku uncrossed her arms. "I'm glad you told me, but I wish you hadn't."

"Babe this has nothing to do with you and me."

"It doesn't? Because closure implies that it was never quite over which has been the complete opposite of what you've been feeding me."

Paine sighed heavily and sat back a bit. "I love you and only you."

"But you need closure."

"Whether we both like to admit it or not she happened okay? I can't just ignore that while I'm trying to fix everything from my past."

Rikku shook her head and looked away from Paine again. "So fix it Paine I don't know what you want."

"I want you to trust me."

"Like how you trusted me with Buddy?" Rikku asked raising an eyebrow.

"Rikku…"

Rikku waved her hands dismissively. "Do whatever you need to do okay? You have my permission to get closure."

"Rikku."

Rikku stood. "Is that it?"

"Why are you acting like this?"

Rikku pointed to herself. "I'm acting like your girlfriend, Paine. I'm not going to be jumping for joy that you and Jugs are texting back and forth knowing that you had a history together."

"We only fucked."

Rikku just shook her head in disbelief. "You keep saying that but why does it now feel like that's a lie?"

"It's no—"

"You don't even know what you want from her."

"Is it such a crime to make sure someone is okay? We locked up her brother forcing child protective services to separate her little sisters. Little kids that I knew alright? It's not easy for me to just ignore someone I knew when shit is obviously hard for them."

"She left her sisters." Rikku shook her head slowly. "I thought you had already realized that you can't save everyone."

Paine stood now too a bit upset. "You know it's easy for you to say that."

"Whatever Paine." Rikku began to walk off.

"No not whatever. Get past this ego bullshit alright? People are people."

"Ego bullshit?" Rikku asked. "Look I didn't say it was wrong to want to help people. That's just how you are and I love that about you but when it comes to people who hurt you and left you for dead well then I have a problem."

"She didn't—"

"Didn't she though?" The room was silent. "Twice Paine?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't that's right." Rikku shook her head and left the den. Paine followed her into the hall. "Because I've been given everything I've ever wanted right? Because I don't know a damn thing about struggling… Bmayca."

Paine groaned. "Alright stop, I didn't mean it like that."

Rikku tried to calm herself down as well. They both stood there looking at one another for some sort of answer. "I don't understand you sometimes."

"Try to?" Paine begged.

"Put yourself in my shoes. Would you like it if your girlfriend was texting her ex to find something that she doesn't even know what it looks like? That opens the door and you know it. How would you feel?"

Paine sighed heavily and looked down at her socks. "I wouldn't like it."

"And if this person was the person I lost my lady virginity to, then what?"

Paine shook her head. "I definitely wouldn't like it."

"As long as we have an understanding."

Paine looked back at her. 'Baby I'm just trying to figure shit out."

"Then fine Paine."

"You're hurt though."

"Closure?"

Paine sighed. "Maybe that was the wrong word to use."

"Do what you have to do okay?"

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Don't do anything to make me mad."

"You're mad right now."

"You were texting her all weekend."

"I have nothing to hide from you."

"I just want you to look at it from my prospective okay?" Paine nodded slowly and put her hands in her pockets. "I'm your girlfriend; of course I'm not going to be over the moon about this."

"I know."

Rikku sighed and glanced up the steps she was about to climb. "I gotta shower and stuff so…"

"Can I get a goodbye kiss?" Paine asked hopefully. Rikku just shook her head no. Paine sighed and went to get her shoes and jacket. "Alright well…I'll call you later."

"Okay." Rikku nodded. She sighed when she looked at the look on Paine's face. She looked like a kicked puppy or something. "Pai?"

"Yeah?" Paine asked quickly looking up from her shoes.

"Thank you for being honest with me."

Paine nodded. "I love you, I would never want to do anything to hurt us." Rikku just nodded before climbing the stairs.

##

"You're a fucking idiot."

Paine sighed as she picked up the end of the couch for Gippal to use the hand vacuum to clean under. They were spring cleaning a week early.

"This chick is all about you and shit is going good, but then you just had to bring Dona up. I think you like drama Dr. P."

"Shut up okay? I made a promise to Rikku and I keep my promises."

"Yeah but you fucked it up completely by saying you didn't know what you wanted. Now who knows what she's thinking!"

##

"I mean how was I supposed to react to that?" Rikku asked as she reached for another slice of pizza.

"Well Rikku she did come to you and tell you. Something has to be said for that."

"Yeah but Yunie…." Rikku gave her cousin a look. "She doesn't even know what she wants, it's like premeditated cheating!"

Yuna laughed. "Paine is all about you, don't be ridiculous."

##

"So you gonna hit that or what? She's in a very vulnerable place I think that—"

"Shut up! I have a girlfriend!"

"Yeah but you are definitely not getting laid anytime soon."

Paine groaned. She didn't even think of that.

##

"If she thinks she's getting any anytime soon well she has another thing coming. I mean how can I when they are texting buddies? All I would think about was how these same hands that are pleasuring me are used to text _her_."

They had cracked open a bottle of red wine an hour ago.

Yuna laughed. "Rikku stop it okay? You mean to tell me no sex until she figures whatever she has to figure out?"

Rikku watched the maroon liquid swirl around in her glass as she thought. "Well it's not like we've done it recently so she should be fine waiting."

"But you?"

Rikku waved her off.

"You're being unfair. You know what kind of thing Paine is going through and she even decided to include you in on what was going on—"

"Because she knows she'd be in trouble if she didn't!"

"Exactly, so why is she still in trouble?"

Rikku took another sip of her wine. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Let's talk about you."

Yuna shook her head and continued to drink her wine. "Yeah, no thanks."

Rikku laughed a little. "Why Yunie? Why must we date such…such…such…"

"Nice people?" Rikku groaned in response. "Every time I ignore his call I feel as though I'm stepping on his heart. Do you know what that feels like? All he wants to do is talk to me about what's going on and I can't even give him that."

"Because you don't know?"

"Well yes but no. I just don't want to hurt him….the way Paine doesn't want to hurt you."

Rikku shook her head. "I thought we weren't talking about Pypo?"

"I know you aren't as mad at her as you want to be because you called her that."

"What?"

"Baby."

"Well I still love her but she just…I don't know, she worries me when she gets some idea in her head, and can I just add that they always end badly."

"You both are just trying to figure things out, and don't tell me it's not the same because it very well is."

"She used the word closure."

##

"Closure!?"

"It seemed like the right word at the time!" Paine ignored Gippal's look as she moved the stove grate aside to clean under the separator.

"Dude next time I need to learn how to fuck a good thing up I'll just call you." Gippal chuckled.

"I didn't fuck anything up."

"Oh you think so? Now she's gonna be watching your every move, every time you text someone she's gonna wanna know or at least is gonna give you The Look."

Paine stopped scrubbing. "How do you know Rikku has a look?"

"She's an Al Bhed woman, they all have The Look."

Paine just shook her head. "I know she's a little upset right now but y'know what she will get over it. I'm just trying to make sure everything in my life is settled okay? I'm just trying to figure myself out."

"And what does talking to Jugs have to do with that?"

"Why does everyone call her that?" Paine wondered aloud.

"Because her tits are huge, you should know, you did her." Gippal cupped the invisible air in front of his chest for emphasis and Paine rolled her eyes. "All I'm saying is you could have had just a bit more tact…"

"You are trying to tell me about tact?" Paine pointed her sponge at him. "Are you kidding me!?"

"Well listen I may not know a lot, but I know when to keep my girls' on a need to know basis you understand?"

"I really thought she would take it differently….. And Rikku's not just some girl. She's it Gip." Paine tossed the sponge aside a little fed up with its inability to get a certain grease stain out. "Alright? So your comments about banging other chicks and need to know basis do not apply to this situation." She moved to wash her hands off. "I wanna be with her and no one else, which means I'm going to be honest about things with her. That's how I'm doing things now okay?"

Gippal put his hands up. "Okay okay, fuck didn't mean to hit a nerve."

Paine calmed down when she saw the look on Gippal's face. She sighed and leaned again the kitchen counter. "It's okay it's just that…I'm confused about a lot right now but I'm not confused about her y'know?"

Gippal nodded. "Well…" He took a moment to collect his thought and filter out his usual nonsense for Paine's sake. "What's confusing about Ju—Dona?"

"I wanna just forget her completely y'know? But I can't help but wonder what's going to happen to her."

Gippal nodded as he crossed his arms and leaned against an adjacent counter. "I know what you mean."

"You been thinking about it too?"

"Of course man I mean she's Bart's crazy ass sister. I mean I think about Bart sometimes too. He wasn't always such a prick remember?"

Paine nodded. "That's what gets me about all this. How fast everything changed."

"It's been changing for some time it's just that you got sick and well didn't want to be around them anymore."

"I didn't get sick man, I almost died in their living room."

Gippal ran a hand through his spiky hair. "Fuck P."

"Well I don't want to discredit why I choose to stay away from them anymore. My body just couldn't do it anymore Gip."

"No one blames you for that."

"Are you sure about that? Once I started up school people around here changed faster than I don't know what. I was all of a sudden this enemy for wanting to do well."

"Is that why you're moving out?"

Paine sighed heavily. "Yeah well…that's part of the reason why. I just wanna get away from this place if I'm honest. I don't feel like it's my home anymore."

Gippal frowned at that but he knew what she meant. "About Dona…"

Paine nodded. "I just…I'm concerned. I know Rikku thinks that that means that I have feelings for her, it's not, at least not romantic feelings."

"Can you blame Cid's girl though? I mean she hasn't exactly seen the nice side of D."

"She's vindictive, and fucking annoying as hell but I know she's in a lot of hurt right now."

Gippal shook his head. "You can't save everyone."

Paine looked away at a baby roach that had just fled from under the stove. "That's what Rikku said."

"I think you really need to think about that shit. Dona is always gonna be Dona okay? We don't know if why she is back is the truth or a lie. I think you should just stay out of it."

Paine nodded slowly. "I get what you are saying but… I just get this feeling like maybe I'm missing something, like I need to know something before I close this shit up and burn it."

Gippal nodded in understanding. "Closure."

##

Yuna and Rikku had moved from the kitchen into the den. Kimahri was asleep on the ground and Rikku was playing with Little Puppy as she spoke with Yuna. A random HGTV show was on that only sparked mild entertainment in the two. The wine had worn off and they were just relaxing before the school week stated up again.

"I should be studying."

Yuna sighed. "I should call him back…."

"Midterms are important."

"Do you think I should call him back?"

"I'm sure Paine is studying…or texting."

"I'm going to call him back." Yuna nodded.

"What are you going to say?"

Yuna paused mid reach. "I don't know." They stared at one another for a moment before Rikku shook her head no. Yuna sighed and relaxed against the couch again.

"She always calls when she says she will…."

"Stop it."

"Yunie…"Rikku whined. "What else would she be doing at this time of night huh?"

"Maybe she invited Dona over."

"That's not funny!"

"Well it's what you want to hear right? I'm sorry but I'm not feeding into this nonsense."

"It's not nonsense."

"You're trying to find fault in your girlfriend for being truthful."

"Well yeah but—"

"At least you two can fight about something silly like who was more truthful and who wasn't okay? Stop it. She loves you, she'll call." Rikku opened her mouth to say something but just then her phone went off with Paine's signature ringtone. Yuna only nodded knowingly before going back to watching the TV. "See?" Rikku let her phone ring until it stopped. "Now what?"

"It may not seem like a deal to you but for me it hurts just a little okay? Why do I have to be the bad guy?"

Yuna sighed. "Sometimes these things hurt Rikku."

"I don't like it one bit. That broad fucked with Paine's mind and now she's just going to do it again."

Yuna let up a little laugh at her cousin cursing. "Since everyone is being honest here why don't you just tell her that then?"

Rikku nodded but then when she reached forward she grabbed Yuna's phone instead. "Call Teedus first."

##

Paine lay awake clad in just her underwear. The room heater was on and she was staring at the ceiling with her phone to her ear.

"Hya! I'm not available right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

_Beeeep_

"Hey Rikks it's me…Paine… Look I was just calling to talk and stuff before I went to sleep but if you don't want to or you're busy that's okay too. Um… I'll try and sneak out work early so we can go to that health fair thingy together if you still want. Let me know. Love you, bye." Paine hung up and rested her cell phone on her flat stomach. She let the outside noise of the city lull her into a half sleep before she remembered she had to take the medication Elma and Dr. Vice prescribed. She sat up and sighed at herself as she reached for the Rin's pharmacy bag on her nightstand.

Yet another thing she hadn't told Rikku about.

She dry swallowed the small pill and turned off her light before curling up and closing her eyes.

##

"Paine?"

Paine glanced in the rare view mirror of her car at Big Mack. "Yeah?"

"Why are you so sad?"

Paine chuckled. "I look sad?"

"Well yeah I mean you just look like you lost a game or something."

Paine was dropping Big Mack to school the next morning. Rikku had yet to text or even call her back and Dona had mentioned something about visiting Bart today. Yeah she was in a mood, but sad? "I'm not sad Big Mack." Paine tried to focus back onto the road.

"Well what are you then?"

Paine shrugged. "I dunno."

"I think you're sad."

"Oh yeah? Well what mood are you in today then?" Paine asked trying to redirect the question. Kids these days were so damn perceptive.

"Hm….I think I'm sad too."

"Why is that?"

"Well today we're doing PE."

"I thought you liked PE remember? Art was for weirdoes?"

"Well yeah but Randy and Sage have Art today and I don't." She pouted cutely and Paine just smiled.

"Well you were a big girl and made the decision to do PE all year remember?"

"Yeah but I change my mind."

"It's too late for that Big Mack. When you make choices like this you really gotta think about the long run."

"Well I don't wanna run at all, I wanna paste."

Paine chuckled. Sometimes she seemed 18 and sometimes she seemed nine . "It's a part of growing up."

##

The two cousins hopped out of Rikku's car and didn't even bother saying goodbye as they scattered in different directions. They were so late because of them falling asleep in the den the night before and not setting an alarm. Rikku didn't even have time to call Paine back like she had planned. That was it, no more drinking on a school night.

The blonde rounded the corner in the student union without even looking where she was going and slammed hard into someone who had just gotten out of the Jambi Juice line.

"Ah! I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm just really late right now for a class upstairs and I just ugh fudge did I get something on you? Look you books and your…" It wasn't until she saw the familiar messenger bag on the ground that she looked up.

Paine stood there covered from neck to belly in Coco Moo. "Um…" She looked so confused that it would have been adorable is Rikku wasn't in panic mode.

"Paine!?" She jumped up quickly.

"Hey." She said almost shyly; forget that she was covered in chocolate milkshake.

"Oh my Yevon I keep doing this to you." Rikku quickly ducked down and grabbed up all of Paine's things that had fallen from her arms and shoved them back into her arms. "Look I'm really sorry."

"It's okay it's um, what we do I guess." Paine nodded trying to clear the air a little. "Did you get my—"

"I really have to go, I'm really late as it is and Oh my gosh I feel so bad." Rikku put both her hands to her head.

Paine deflated a little. "It's okay."

Rikku was already leaving in a hurry, just as she came. "We'll talk later!" She yelled as she weaved through the rest of the student Union on her way towards the stairs.

Paine sighed and mentally located the nearest bathroom so she could change into her work polo she had taken home to wash.

##

_**He's gotten bitter.**_

It was a text Paine got from Dona as she watched the time on the clock before the health and wellness fair began, or at least until Rikku got out of class. Paine planned on waiting outside so they could walk over. She sighed at the text message but decided to answer it anyway, if this was going to help her and her curiosity then fine. Paine just wanted to be done with it all so things wouldn't be so weird between her and Rikku. Martha's words kept ringing in her head though. She couldn't let anything stand in the way of her healing properly.

_**Bart?**_

_**I just left and he seemed so bitter. **_

_**Did he mention anything?**_

_**Shuyin**_

_**What did he say?**_

_**That he never meant for it to get that bad.**_

_**He never stopped though.**_

_**Look he's still my brother alright?**_

_**You turned him in though, why?**_

_**You and Gippal turned him in.**_

_**Yeah with the file you gave us.**_

_**Does your girlfriend know you are texting me?**_

_**Yes, why are you changing the subject?**_

_**Because thinking about things I regret isn't one of my favorite things to do Dr. P.**_

Paine sat back in her chair at that. What the hell did that even mean? What did she regret? Paine or…or the file? Or leaving town? Paine decided to press harder.

_**Is that why you texted me the other night?**_

_**Mostly, I also wanted to know when you got back down to everyone else's level. If you had I would have shown you a good time, you remember our good times right?**_

_**No**_

_**Does your girlfriend know you think about it?**_

_**I don't.**_

_**So why did you respond then? You never have before**_

_**I wanted to make sure you weren't strung out in some alley**_

_**If I was? Do I need to be hurt to get your attention?**_

_**I know you don't regret giving me that file**_

Dona didn't respond.

Paine took a huge breath and looked at the clock again. She began to gather her things. She was proud she didn't let Dona get the best of her. Usually she would be angered by what Dona had said but right now she couldn't feel a thing and Paine liked to think she was getting better control of things. She was secure where she was and didn't want to go back to where she used to be. After telling Simone she was leaving Paine walked quickly to the Law building where Rikku had most of her classes. She climbed the stairs they used to climb to go to their ethics class together about a year ago. It made Paine feel a little uneasy. She went up just one floor higher until she was introduced to a series of hallways. She knew Rikku was in room 425 so she headed down that way and waited outside the door until a number of students burst out and down the stairs she just came from.

"Rikks!" Paine called when she noticed Rikku among the crowd.

Rikku turned around and smiled a little at Paine waiting for her. She looked nervous. "Hi." She said quietly as she approached her girlfriend.

Paine hesitated but then just leaned forward and kissed her cheek sweetly. "Hey."

"Sorry about earlier I was just so in a hurry and stuffs." Rikku explained as she clutched onto her law books. She had forgotten her backpack but not her books, go figure. She motioned to Paine's work polo. "I have your hoody in my car…"

"No I'm fine, I don't have any more classes just another short shift at work and then I'm done."

Rikku nodded. "Right yeah, today is Monday."

Paine scratched the back of her head. "About yesterday…"

Rikku just shrugged. "What can I do?"

"I just want you to be okay with things. I don't like you being upset with me."

"And I don't like you being dishonest which is why I realized that you were just trying to be upfront." Rikku hugged her book closer to her chest. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, here." She motioned with her eyes to a few of her classmates and her professor lingering behind to talk.

Paine nodded . "Do you want to talk about it at all? You seem uncomfortable."

Rikku shook her head. "I guess I'm still processing."

"Okay." Paine nodded. It was all she could really ask of her. "Do you want me to hold your things for you?" She asked as they began to walk down the hall.

"You think I can't do it?"

"Well no I just…y'know…." Paine groaned and Rikku smiled.

"It was just a joke, Paine."

The smallest bit of pink touched her cheeks. "Oh." Paine took the textbooks in Rikku's arms. "Two blondes walk into a bar…"

Rikku laughed and rolled her eyes. "No."

"Too soon?"

"Too soon."

**AN: Love all the reviews I got last chapter! They really and truly are my reasons for continuing, I don't wanna let you guys and gals down. So Dona is back..sort of, what do you all think?**

**KathleenDee**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter Forty Nine**

Rikku stepped out of the small medical cubical and searched the small waiting area. Upon seeing her girlfriend Paine stood to indicate her location. Rikku walked over and Paine began to pick up her books.

"So?" She asked as she adjusted the weight in her arms appropriately.

Rikku glanced around the small room of college students. "Drao fyhhy caa sa ykyeh haqd faag." She choose her native tongue after realizing there wasn't a very high percentage of Al Bhed in the room.

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Why, what did they say?"

Rikku motioned to the door and Paine nodded before holding it open for her and walking out after her. They walked in silence toward the student parking lot to Rikku's car. Yuna had left a note in the windshield saying that Tidus gave her a ride so the blonde didn't have to wait up.

Paine stood back and watched as Rikku opened the backseat of her car and turned to take the textbooks from her arms. "Babe?" Paine asked again. Rikku going silent mean a number of things in a number of situations, this one was scaring her a little.

"She just said things."

"What kinds of things?"

"Something, look I don't know, and I'm kind of freaking out." Rikku slammed the car door. "Alright?" Paine nodded quickly. "She just hmmmed a lot…what does that mean?"

Paine shrugged. "Babe, I don't know. Elma does that a lot; I think it's a doctor thing, wait hold on." Rikku had turned to get into her car. "My stuff came back fine, you're good."

"We haven't had sex in a month."

_Roughly_ Paine thought defensively. Apparently Rikku was keeping tabs too. "Well unless you've had other partners I don't know about…." Paine raised an eyebrow jokingly but it was totally missed by the blonde.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

Paine shook her head quickly. "Hold on a minute here, you're freaking out alright? It was just a joke." She motioned to the goodie bag they got at the Health Expo entrance. "We've got different flavored lube, penis raincoats, lolly pops, pens with the NLU health thingy on it, free shirts and barbecue potatoes chips." She handed the bag to Rikku who took it a little begrudgingly. Paine took a step toward her and rubbed her arm gently. "Everything is fine. You're on your period right?" Her tone shifting just a little softer at the mention of the crimson cockblock as Paine liked to call it. Shit was real tough when it was that time of the month for Rikku. Last month she drove across town just to buy her girlfriend the "cheap" chocolates she liked so much and to get away from her.

Rikku got the cutest look of frustration ever, her forehead wrinkled just a bit and she glanced elsewhere. "No, next week."

Paine nodded, still rubbing her arm. "And you had to write down the last time you were on it on that sheet yeah?" She nodded. "Well look the doctor prolly got in there and realized the wall was already starting to—"

"Okay okay." Rikku shook her head at Paine's ability to talk so openly about it. "I'll go home and rest up, pop a potion…or five."

"I know you're gonna think about…don't think about it."

"They wanna run tests, what if I have AIDS?"

"That's impossible, you'd have HIV first." Paine deadpanned.

"Paine!"

"Princess you are freaking out for no reason, there is no need to worry until you hear something, which I doubt you will because you are gonna go back next week and they are gonna see what I see; a perfect vagina."

Rikku shook her head trying not to laugh. On some levels she was still frustrated with her girlfriend, but she had to admit the other woman had her moments where she just said the funniest things so seriously. Rikku opened her driver's door and put the bag of goodies into the car. "I'm gonna go."

The taller of the two sighed and then nodded. Rikku got into the car and closed the door and Paine leaned on the car with her arms looking down into it at Rikku. "I get off of work late tonight."

Rikku nodded. "Do you want me to drop something off for you?"

"Are you cooking?"

"I'll make something." Rikku nodded.

"Only if you want to."

"What are you going to eat otherwise?"

Paine shrugged. "I can walk to Donte's and get a slice."

"Just one slice of pizza?" Rikku raised an eyebrow. "What time is your dinner break?"

"Seven."

Rikku nodded and focused on buckling her seatbelt, starting the car up, and putting on her shades. "I'll text you if I think of something. You may want to clear out your inbox; it's probably full by now." Rikku glanced at Paine "Sorry." She mumbled.

Paine shifted. "It's okay." Was it though? This was obviously bothering Rikku. "Can I stay over tonight?" It would really give them the privacy to talk.

Rikku looked over at the starring wheel. "I dunno if that's a good idea."

"But you'd make me dinner."

"Because I love you." Rikku rubbed at her head and then looked in her rare view mirror before looking back at Paine. "I just need to process."

"Process what though?"

"That you and your e—old sex buddy are in constant communication now." Rikku changed it when she saw Paine was about to open her mouth to say that Dona wasn't her ex. "I have feelings."

"I know you do, I'm not trying to discredit that, but—"

"And I know you meant to be honest Pypo, but I'm human, and I'm not as mature as I would like to think I am. I get all crazy in my head and don't know what to believe anymore so..."

Paine pointed to herself. "Have I ever done anything to make you not trust me?"

"I trust you; I just need time to be a little upset. Can you give me that time to be a little upset at something I have no control over?"

Paine sighed. "How long will this take?" This whole thing just made super anxious for no reason. The sooner she could remedy it, the better.

Rikku shrugged. "A day, three weeks, two years. I'm dealing with my emotions okay? I didn't cut off inches of my hair to run from anything ever again." She reached a hand out to tug on Paine's shirt a little at her stomach.

Paine nodded. "You're right…." She leaned into the car to place a kiss on Rikku's cheek. "I love you." Paine mumbled onto her cheek before pulling away a little.

Rikku smiled acutely but stopped herself from running a hand up to Paine's cheek. "I love you too."

And with that Paine backed up from the car and put her hands in her hair with yet another tired sigh. She lifted one to wave as Rikku waved before turning to speed off.

Her phone buzzed.

##

Cid answered the frantic knocking with a glare. It was twelve something in the morning. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw Paine standing there. "Holy Shiva girl, what's wrong with you?"

"Is Rikku home, sir?"

Cid examined her a second time. "Why are you all jittery?" His face became very serious. "You aren't running from the police or anything are you?"

"What?" Paine asked a little thrown off guard.

"The law, you didn't break the law did you?"

Paine shifted her weight and looked elsewhere. "I got a speeding ticket on the way here," Was it a fatherly thing to just know when younger people were hiding something? Or was it just Cid Bayla?

Cid opened the door wider and motioned for her to come in. He capped a surprisingly supportive hand on Paine's shoulder before using that hand to guide her into the kitchen. Paine looked around. "Where's Rikku?"

"Upstairs sleeping, she went up after cooking all this food." Cid motioned to the pots left on the stove in confusion.

That would explain why Paine never got a text.

He motioned to the breakfast nook and crossed his arms. Paine glanced up at him nervously as she sat. How did she not realize that the shoulder thing was a trap? Now here she sat, at 12 something in the morning with a not so pleased looking version of Rikku's father. "I understand you and Milan are having some problems." He began.

"Uh…" Was that a question? Was Paine supposed to confirm or deny? Did Rikku say something to him?

"It reminded me about our talk you know? The one we had right when I learned of this news." He waved a hand about and Paine assumed that hand gesture meant she and Rikku's relationship.

"Yes, I remember."

"There is one thing I hate more than people who lie to me. Do you know what that is Paine?" Paine shook her head no. "That's people who hurt my family."

She immediately looked to her hands. There were so much more interesting now. She would have to cut her nails soon…

"Now you don't need to tell me what is going on, because apparently I'm too nosey." Cid rolled his eyes then waited until Paine looked at him again. "But you do need to tell me that you will fix it." Paine began to nod but was stopped by his next words. "I don't like liars remember? So even if you aren't sure don't say anything until you have an idea of what you are going to say to make things work because if Rikku Milan is not happy, I am not happy."

Paine knew that was a fact. She nodded slowly. "I love your daughter." She struggled a little and looked away a little ashamed. Why did she always sound so wobbly when she said things like that?

Cid sighed. "Well alright kid, but you know I had to just remind you what were to happen if you hurt my little girl."

Paine nodded and stood when he motioned that she could leave or go upstairs or whatever she wanted. It was like she lived here now. Cid shook his head and set about making himself some tea before heading back to bed.

Paine pushed open the door to Rikku's large room quietly and closed it behind her. On the made up bed in the center of the room was Rikku curled into a ball wearing shorts and one of Paine's shirts. She was half hazardly covering herself with a colorful shawl. She looked so at peace and beautiful to Paine then. The smoky haired woman ran a hand through her hair and then walked over to her drawer and pulled out some shorts and a plain tank top. She quickly showered and then came out back into the room. Rikku was still fast asleep when Paine turned off the light and carefully moved the cover enough from under her to cover with it before getting into bed behind her and wrapping her arms around her.

She never once thought that this would be a bad idea.

"Mm…nnm," Rikku mumbled waking up at the contact of the comforting embrace.

"Relax baby it's just me." Paine murmured as she adjusted herself and leaned in to kiss Rikku's neck behind her honey blonde hair.

"Pypo?" She rasped putting her hand on top of Paine's that was wrapped around her tummy. "Pypo?" She asked again cutely.

"I'm right here."

"You left work? You're supposed to be at work, you just left where did you go?" Rikku's voice was still hazy as she moved around to get a look at Paine who just held her still.

"I came home."

"You came home?" She asked sounding confused. "Now?"

Paine nodded indirectly nuzzling her with her chin.

"But…"

"I missed you." Paine admitted. "I was miserable at work and I found myself driving here cause I always do when I work late, but then I remembered you were mad with me and I got sad."

Rikku managed to wriggle around until she was facing Paine. "I'm not mad."

"You have to process though…."

"Yeah but I'm not mad." Rikku rubbed at one of her eyes as if trying to facilitate waking up. She yawned and then clung to Paine. "You came hommmmeee." She grinned now getting it. Paine only chuckled.

"To my girl, yeah."

"Aw Pypo." Rikku tried to snuggle closer but it was basically impossible at this point. She smiled at Paine. "You're so mushy tonight."

Paine leaned forward and pressed a quiet kiss on Rikku's lips. "It's because I miss you."

"I missed you too Pypo." Rikku breathed back before their lips met again in a passionate kiss. It was like forgetting how to breathe and then suddenly after a month long wait without air. Rikku's lungs filled and she suddenly felt very awake. Paine's fingers tickled her jaw as the kiss continued. She didn't know who started it but before Rikku knew what was happening she and Paine were in a heated open mouth lip lock, while hands roamed.

Paine let out a small grunt as Rikku straddled her. The blonde exhaled heavily when their lips separated for a moment. She stared down at Paine's deep crimson eyes looking up at her. Why was she so beautiful? The blonde asked herself as she contemplated her next move. She wanted her so badly at that point which was strange because about ten minutes ago she was fast asleep. Yet she felt conflicted. Did they need this right now? Was this just a rug to dust everything underneath? Rikku felt Paine's hands hold her waist with a gentle enough grip to be arousing. She couldn't possibly think that this would be it, right? Rikku let her hands run along Paine's arms, she couldn't ignore the feeling Paine gave her though. She couldn't and she didn't want to. This was the answer for something, Rikku just didn't know to what, and if that question was exactly relevant at this point. As she felt heat trickle down her spine and pressed herself down a little and smirked as Paine closed her eyes.

Rikku had a plan.

She leaned down stole a cheeky kiss from her girlfriend. "Let me touch you Pypo." She purred causing Paine to swallow hard. Rikku took that as the sign of approval to start her teasing. She ran her hands all over Paine's upper body above her clothes, caressing, tweaking and squeezing. Her mouth soon finally found the pattern and Paine swore she was going to burst. She wasn't used to this kind of foreplay at all, not when she had a month's worth of build up. The ache between her legs only increased as Rikku slowly began to rock her hips against her before finally finding a nice rhythm as she sucked on Paine's hardened nipple over her tank top leaving the damp area to the cold room air afterward.

Paine moaned quietly and held Rikku's hips as she quickly responded to each thrust with one of her own, though albeit a little more frantic than the blonde's. She pushed at Rikku's shorts but the blonde stopped her by grabbing her hands and kissing them before bringing them back to Paine's sides.

"No touchy."

Paine groaned loudly in frustration. "R.." She cleared her throat a little surprised at the throaty quality of it. "Rikku c'mon." She begged. The blonde looked up Paine and smirked. "That's not fair."

"Not fair?" Rikku asked slyly as their hips continued to move with one another's relishing in the heat they were creating. "Relax for me." She leaned back over Paine and increased her rotation of her hips. Paine moaned again and fell limp as Rikku moved one of her legs in between Paine's. "That good?"

"Shivvva yes." Paine hissed.

Where did she learn that!

Rikku smirked but took a second to close her own eyes and moaned a little as Paine's hips were right there to meet hers, their centers close enough but guarded by fabric. She leaned down making sure her hands were planted on either side of Paine's head to steady herself as she rocked into her and found Paine's neck with her lips. Paine extended it and cursed under her breath.

This had to be payback for something.

The blonde resisted the urge to bite Paine by kissing up to Paine's ear. Her fairer skinned girlfriend scarred easily and now had to watch her neckline because of the start of the spring season, and her new job as a model.

They moved like this for a while; steadily building momentum, sometimes shattering it though with their lack of self control and lust. Rikku slowed down a little to ease back into a wave like rhythm and brought her mouth to the left side of Paine's head to whisper Al Bhed in her bedroom voice. Paine closed her eyes tightly.

It was then that she realized the sad sad truth.

"B…bb…"She stammered a little at a particularly rough thrust. Paine closed her eyes again and tried counting herself down from ten, then she tried twenty, then she tried thirty, but then Rikku lifted her shirt just enough and put one of her nipples into her mouth while she let up enough to begin to push her hand down against the fabric of Paine's crotch. "I'm gonna…." Paine drew all the strength her body could muster, but in the end it was merely a matter of Rikku rubbing her just the right way over the fabric of her shorts, and the quiet moans of pleasure from pleasuring that sent Paine loose. Her body tensed and she quickly gripped Rikku's wrist to stop her hand because it was just too much stimulation and it was starting to hurt.

Rikku was a little surprised at this but didn't let her miss the opportunity of Paine unraveling right beneath her. "Uhh." Paine moaned as the first rough wave passed. She continued to pant heavily for a moment and then opened her eyes to look up at Rikku, a little embarrassed. Rikku only chuckled before pulling her girlfriends shirt down and giving her crotch one last pat. She leaned forward and kissed Paine twice.

"You sure you not mad at me or something?" Paine joked, still a bit surprised at herself.

Rikku leaned down and kissed her again. "I have you now so…no."

Paine chuckled and sat up causing Rikku to level out on her lap as well. "You gonna let me have you now?" She asked seductively as she leaned forward to nip at Rikku's neck.

Rikku moaned lightly but pushed Paine away. "We can't."

Paine looked up at her a little confused as she wrapped her arms around her waist. "Why not?"

"I have to go back to the lady doctor."

Paine sighed. "I thought that we figured it was just your period."

"Well I don't wanna take any chances if it wasn't y'know."

Paine pouted without realizing it. "I don't care though…" She pulled on Rikku a little. "I wanna touch you." She was so turned on right now she swore she could make Rikku the happiest person in all of Spira if she would just let her. "Rikks."

Rikku laughed and pushed at her again. "No Pai."

Paine growled but did as she was told. She went back to lying on her back. "Get off me." She mumbled. "You're only making this harder."

Rikku got off of Paine's lap and then sat up in bed as she looked down at her girlfriend who was brooding silently. "Pypo stop it."

"No."

Rikku giggled and curled up next to her. "Wha's wrong babykins?" Paine crossed her arms and gave Rikku a look. "You're really upset." She laughed more.

"I just think that it's not right."

"Oh Shush." Rikku pecked her on the lips and uncrossed her arms for her. "Lay down like normal."

"No."

The two began to struggle and Rikku finally won when Paine let her cuddle up next to her. "You're gonna ruin the beautiful moment we just had with your nonsense."

Paine looked to her side at Rikku. "You didn't do anything though and I came."

Rikku rubbed Paine's stomach gently over her shirt. "So?"

"So…I'm just not used to that okay?"

"Why does it have to be about a weak thing? Maybe you really really liked what I was doing,"

"I did."

"Okay so then relax huh? I'm not going to judge you." Paine settled a little and Rikku grinned.

##

Rikku and Paine were sitting beside one another the next afternoon doing homework in Rikku's kitchen. Paine was happy that things were changing back to normal between them. It really hurt in a way she never experienced before when Rikku was at odds with her. It wasn't even like she was outright mad, she was hurt, and Paine didn't like that she was the cause of it.

Today it had been cold. It seemed like winter was holding onto time with all its might because the city was blanketed in a small unexpected snow. Paine didn't care; she was still only going to wear her jacket. The cold was sort of liberating. She glanced over at Rikku who was wearing a concentrated expression while she went over practice exercises of blueprints in her architecture textbook. She was determined to nail her midterms and unlike when they usually studied Paine had to stop her for breaks instead of the other way around. Paine starred back at her own textbook, the human anatomy seemed so dull and boring to her for some reason. It was still fascinating sure but, Paine just had a lot on her mind today. She picked up her pen and underlined something in her notebook before sighing. Just then her cell phone that was sitting besides Rikku's buzzed loudly.

They both looked at one another for a minute.

Rikku glanced at the phone and bit her lip lightly before she went back to reading. Paine frowned as she reached for it and saw that it was a text from Nooj. "It's just Nooj." She found herself explaining, Rikku didn't say anything. Paine read the message and laughed. "Holy fuck he cut his hair!"

Rikku picked her head up. "No!" Paine handed her phone over and Rikku began to laugh. "Nooo!" The text asked if it looked horrible and Rikku laughed a little at their friendship. Nooj was wearing only a towel around his waist and his long hair was no more in the picture. "Y'know he actually looks pretty handsome like this." She turned to Paine and showed her the phone. "Where has he been anyway?"

Paine shrugged. "We have some theories."

Rikku laughed a little but stopped when Paine's phone buzzed once. She looked at it and saw she had another text from Dona.

_**I saw Gippal today**_

Rikku suddenly felt herself begin to get upset, or jealous, or whatever she felt when the name Dona was ever brought up. She pushed the phone back toward Paine and went back to doing her work.

Paine's smile dropped. "Don't you wanna know what they are?" She took the phone to text Nooj back but then stopped when she realized what had happened. She put her phone down and stared at Rikku for a second. "Rikku."

"Pai."

"C'mon what do you want me to do huh? I hate this." She motioned to them.

Rikku didn't look up from her work. "Can we talk about this later? I have to finish this chapter."

Paine stared at her some more but then sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know what to do, so when you figure out what you want, tell me."

"You don't even know what you want."

"I just wanna make sure that things are okay."

"Well then answer her Paine."

"Not if you don't want me to."

"Well it's already too late for that right?" Rikku slammed her textbook closed; the mood of studying was lost. "When _you_ figure out what _you_ want then _you_ tell me."

"I don't see why it's like this every freaking time."

"How do you want me to feel?!"

"Like you trust me or something, fuck I don't want you to get angry every time my phone rings."

"Well I'm sorry but that's not going to happen." Rikku stood.

"Where are you going?"

"To make myself something to drink!" Rikku stomped over to the fridge.

"Is this why you didn't wanna have sex?"

Rikku whirled around. "Excuse me?"

"Well I mean it would make sense right? Punishing me for texting her."

Rikku just stared at her. "You can't even accept that I don't want to get you sick or anything can you, it's always about you right? Like my every move is because of you." She went back to looking in the fridge as Paine put her face in her hands. Why on Spira was she still listening to Gippal? "Oui sicd pa cdibet" Paine heard Rikku mutter as she took out a jug of iced tea, she turned around then, "I made this iced tea during the winter because I know it's your favorite, not because I wanted to reward you for anything. This is not an exchange of—"

"Okay okay." Paine tried to calm her down but that only made Rikku more upset.

"No I'm not done talking; this is not an exchange of reward and punishment, Paine. I do things because I care, or I don't care, you're not my pet you're my girlfriend."

Paine got up from the nook. "Alright, which is why I am asking you right here and right now if you want me to continue texting her. If it really upsets you this much then fuck it okay? Just fucking tell me!"

"I can't do that!"

"Why not!?"

"Then I'll be the bad guy and Because you are going to always wonder. So you know what, you get a free pass. I don't even care anymore."

"Whoa what the hell are we even talking about!?" Paine took a step forward. "You think I wanna fuck her? Huh?" She examined Rikku's face and leaned back a little and crossed her arms. "Unbelievable."

"I didn't say I did."

"You didn't have to!" Paine was really upset right now. At Rikku. She was officially upset at her girlfriend. Her voice took on a quiet yet icy tone that she had never used with Rikku before as she stepped closer to her. "Do you think that I would have let you have me like you did if all I thought about was fucking Dona Pilgrim? Do you think I would care enough to ask you what you think instead of sneaking behind your back? Do you think that I would be on this fucking medication? Do you honestly believe that all of this effort is because I wanna fuck her?" Paine raised an eyebrow. She turned when she got no immediate response and began to grab her things. "I love you, but I don't fucking like you at all right now." She said before storming out of the kitchen and leaving.

Rikku slammed the fridge door closed at the same time as the front door of the house was slammed shut.

##

"All I wanna do is drink." Rikku sighed.

"Great Aunty Rena was an alcoholic so be careful." Yuna nodded as she stood across from Rikku at the bar in her house. Her father never thought to have a key or a lock or anything; Yuna was just never the child to drink irresponsibly. Yet here the two cousins were on a Thursday night polishing back a bottle of Al Bhed rum.

Rikku rubbed at her face as she heard her water glass and her drink glass being refilled by her cousin. Tomorrow was a school day after all and with the right ratio of rum to water they would be fine. She'd just have to deal with an overactive bladder. "I hate myself Yunie." Rikku looked up at Yuna sadly. "I hate myself because I really hurt her feelings and I know I did because she hasn't even texted me or called or anything, she always calls me at least y'know? It makes me think about what Dona said while Paine was in the hospital when she got shot?"

Yuna went over to sit beside her with her own glass. "Dona was there?"

"To say something about something, but Paine was real mad and I've never seen her talk to anyone like how she talked to her then. She's so polite y'know I mean she curses but she's nice to people who are nice to her…"Rikku took a sip from her glass of rum. The clinking of the bar ice chimed lightly in her ear and she wondered if alcoholics found the sound as soothing as she did.

"What did she say?" Yuna asked leaning a tired elbow on the mini bar in her father's study. It reminded her more of a den but he had called it a study since she was a little girl so that's what she grew up knowing. Maybe it had something to do ith the wall of text lining the back walls.

"She said that I should never hurt her."

"She told you that?"

Rikku nodded. "Pai is like a…..a….a cat." Rikku smiled a little. "She's a cat."

Yuna tried to think about it. "I don't know…exactly what that means…"

"She loves rubs for one, and shiny things like her sword, and she's faithful, she's faithful but not to many people like dogs can be y'know? She's close to her people and that's it. A-and she's just….nice y'know? But have you ever stepped on a cat's tail? It's like they hate you for a real long time for hurting them. That's Paine." Rikku took an impressive gulp of rum.

Yuna frowned and pushed the water glass closer to Rikku who just ignored it. "That makes sense, but you were hurt too."

"Yeah!" Rikku exclaimed. "I still am and I have no real reason to be beside the fact that she and this woman did stuff years ago. I don't know why I'm holding onto it but I just can't shake the idea of Paine being with her like that. She was the first lady that Paine ever… It hurts too much, and I know she's trouble too, bad news."

Yuna sighed. "Tidus and I broke up."

"What!?" Rikku shook her head but then regretted it. There was no way she was driving, or even walking back to her house like this.

"Well….He broke up with me."

"Wow my head." Rikku held her head between her hands. "I can't take anymore of this." She joked sadly.

"He said that…" Yuna stared at her drink. "He said that he wanted me to be happy and he obviously couldn't be that so far away….It made me so sad because I realized that being with him I've been the happiest ever, and now well…The ball is in no one's court and the game is over…."

"Does it feel like a thousand years won't change the way you feel?"

Yuna nodded slowly. "I know myself well enough to know that I love him and that will probably never change but… It hurts knowing that even though it won't change it will never be. We're gone…" Yuna took a sip of her rum. "He's gone."

Rikku's eyes watered. "Do you think Paine will break up with me too, Yunie?"

Yuna looked over at Rikku and laughed while she put her arm around her cousin's shoulders. "Stop that."

Rikku sniffled. "I'm gonna call her and say sorry…." She tried to climb down from the stool and almost lost her balance. "Ohh noooo." Rikku murmured when she realized she had to actually look for the floor.

Yuna chuckled. "I don't think calling her is a good idea."

"What if she's like alone somewhere being…a...I gotta tell her what I just realized!" Rikku landed a hand on the house phone that was left on the bar after Yuna had ordered take out.

Yuna took her phone away and shook her head. Yuna had seen many drunk Rikku in her day. The blonde could knock away a surprising amount considering her size. Yuna chalked it up to her heritage. However it was either a fun loving time or a disaster depending upon the blonde's mood, and right now her cousin was a hot mess of emotion that needed an outlet.

Calling Paine was not the solution, sleep maybe.

Rikku finally found her footing. "That doesn't matter cause I memorized her phone number, YunIE! 753—348—1179 Paine Kerrigan 176 North Crenshaw street…Apartment 2…..I don't know the zip code." She pressed her finger to her bottom lip in thought. "But I've had driven there enough times to know Yunie, I just know."

Yuna laughed. "I have to pee, and I'm taking this with me so you won't call her." Yuna waved the cordless phone.

"I won't I won't hurry up I have to pee too." Rikku waited till Yuna had left before staggering over to her purse and locating her cell phone. "Pyyypppo." She nodded once she found Paine's number. It took a long time for Paine to finally answer.

"Yeah."

Rikku plopped down on a nearby sofa and wanted to cry. "You still sound mad."

Paine sighed. "What's up Rikku?" She heard her sniffle. "Rikku?"

"YuniesaidIshouldn'tcallyoubutIdidbecauseIjust" She paused and took a big breath "Really really feel bad because I hurt you and you're a cat and they are nice and faithful…but not how dogs are faithful—"

"Are you drunk?"

"Noooo."

"Where are you?"

Rikku looked around. "Studying."

"What?"

"Jus…jus listen Pypo okay because I just need you to open your ears and listen to what I need to say because I need to just say it before I throw up and forget it all okay?"

"It's Thursday night Rikku…During midterm week." What was she doing drinking this much?

"Do you expect me to think about something stupid like school at a time like this!?"

"School isn't stupid."

"It is when you hate me. Nothing ever makes sense okay? Not without you there with me."

"I don't wanna talk about this when you're drunk. Just tell me you're safe and I can get back to studying." Rikku began to cry. "Ri….Rikku don't cry, please don't cry." Paine sighed heavily and stood from her desk. "Okay okay I'm listening tell me what you need to tell me, I'm listening."

"You are?" She asked hopefully behind her tears.

"Yes."

"Okay well for starters—" Rikku looked up when Yuna entered the room again. "Oh no."

"That better not be Paine on the phone, Rikku."

Rikku feigned a look of innocent guilt. "It's not it's…it's….Yunie, I-I mean It's Brother. Hey no!" Yuna grabbed the phone from Rikku and brought it to her ear. "Hello Paine?"

"Yuna. What the hell?"

"She's just a little drunk, sorry about the call."

"Yeah but I was—"

"Okay bye!" Yuna hung up on her and shook her head at the blonde before her. "You never listen."

"I listen all the time."

Yuna chuckled and helped her up again. "You need to sleep okay? You need to sleep."

"I can't sleep without her…" Rikku mumbled as she and Yuna left the alcohol and phones behind and began the task of trying to climb the stairs. Kimahri followed them to the foot of the stairs before settling there on the floor to keep guard of the house.

##

"One coffee, black with an extra shot of whatever will make this noise in my head stop." Rikku ordered the next morning at the student run coffee shop on campus. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she was still wearing her shades indoors. "Do you guys have greasy french fries here?" She asked while looking through her bag to pay.

"Uh…no ma'am."

"Fine whatever, just the coffee then, thanks."

Just standing up felt like a chore.

"Someone had a rough night." Baralai joked as he noticed Rikku on his way out of the coffee shop.

"Hey Lai." Rikku nodded before sniffling once and just passing him to get her coffee.

He chuckled and went on his way. He furrowed a brow though when he saw a perfectly normal looking Paine on her way to the law building in search of Rikku. "Hey you look normal."

Paine stopped and walked toward him. "Sup Lai?"

"How's midterms going?"

Paine shrugged. "They are okay."

"You were DD huh?"

"What?"

"Designated driver."

"I know what the fuck it means I just don't know what you are saying." Paine rolled her eyes.

"I mean I just saw Rikku and she looks like a truck ran over her or something. I thought you would be just as bad. Didn't know the celebrations started early. I thought we were getting a drink tonight not yesterday."

"You saw Rikku just now?" Paine asked suddenly looking at the way in which he came.

"Uh…yeah."

"Where?"

"The coffee shop, what's wrong?"

"I don't have time to explain, I'll tell you later."And just like that Paine was off.

##

Rikku kept her face in the hot coffee cup and sighed at the aroma of freshly roasted Arabica beans and how it tickled her senses awake. Whoever invented coffee deserved the highest of honors.

Paine slid into the seat across from her. "You look like shit."

Rikku looked up and tried to roll her eyes but it just hurt too much. "Thanks, love." She said tiredly, her voice not even a shadow of what it usually was.

Paine shook her head. "What's going on with you?"

"I'm hung over." She explained with annoyance. Yevon was Paine's voice beautifully loud or what?

"Yeah, and you have two midterms today, did you forget about them or something?"

Rikku looked up at her. "Why did you sit here?"

"What?"

"Because I am pretty sure that I have a parent who already gave me crap about my future this morning."

"Look Rikks." Paine stopped herself and tried to calm down a little. "I'm just worried okay?"

"Now?"

"What do you mean now?"

"You haven't called me all week, you couldn't have been that worried."

"I was upset."

"Yeah, _I know_." Rikku looked away.

They were quiet.

"How did the lady doctor go?"

"Fine. Does that mean you want to have sex now or something?"

Paine leaned forward a little. "Hey." She whispered. "Cut the attitude alright? I was just asking."

Rikku huffed and Paine sat there wondering how in the hell they had gotten here. They were both stubborn, that had to be one contributing fact, maybe the biggest. She got up from the table and went to order some breakfast she was sure her girlfriend had skipped that morning to make it to school on time. She couldn't take her exams on an empty stomach.

Rikku was halfway done with her cup when Paine got back and her green eyes were a little more vibrant than before which was a good sign, The steak and egg burrito was well received and definitely put Rikku in a better mood. She finished her burrito and looked up at Paine who had taken their silence as an opportunity to review some notes. "Paine." She called; her voice a little rough still.

Paine looked up and closed her book. "I have to leave for class." She noticed Rikku's face drop a little. "I'm sorry." She added knowing that something very important was just about to come out of her petty pink lips.

Rikku closed her mouth and nodded. "Okay, good luck."

Paine nodded and stood. "Thanks." She hesitated at the table when she had everything in her hands. She wanted to kiss her or hug her, or just say something but Paine had been shut off all week and being in front of Rikku made he nervous for no reason, she didn't want to offer affection if it were only going to be refuted. "When do you wanna talk?" Staying upset at Rikku was easy when she didn't have to see her. Yet here she was, looking all, well, Rikku. This shouldn't have lasted as long as it did.

Rikku looked up at her. "Later."

Paine nodded and then left. Rikku sighed and rubbed at her temples before getting up to order another cup of coffee.

##

Paine supposed this was later.

Rikku had texted her to meet her in the student parking lot once she was done with her final midterm. Paine realized that she could care less how she did on the test, she just wanted to see Rikku and make things right. She had been doing a lot of thinking their week apart, and so many times she almost picked up the phone to call her, but something had been stopping her every time, and that was hurt. She knew deep down that Rikku really did trust her and care for her the way she did, it was just that it was a sharp new sort of hurt to see her so unbelieving in what she was trying to do. Maybe she saw it and the idea of Dona being so close made her feel insecure, Paine didn't know, but what she did know was that she should have been more patient. She had asked so much of Rikku recently, and reacted more or less like a dick when something was asked of her.

Paine didn't want to lose the one thing in her life that bought her so much happiness. She didn't want to lose what they had, their strength in one another, she didn't want to be the kind of person she was before she let her in.

So she waited by her car patiently. Her hands were in her pockets and on the outside seemed as though she normally would. Paine had gotten good at hiding what was really going on with her.

Rikku realized there was hardly a middle ground with them. Either things were going amazing and she felt like she could kick some serious ass, or..or things felt miserable, and the world lost its colors and the sun didn't rise. It sounded cheesy but it was true. They would be going out for nine months next week. Nine months of extreme ups and few extreme downs. Rikku didn't know if that was good or not because when she was in it, when she was in that high who cared about healthy? She felt great! When that low crept up like it did this week, or when Paine got shot, well things just seemed so wrong with everything, and it made her really want to search for that middle ground. But before the middle ground could be met they needed to be on the same ground, not one higher and not one lower, equal.

Paine caught sight of Rikku and stood up straighter. She was taken completely off guard by the huge hug she got from the shorter woman. Paine let her body relax from its brief tensed state and then quickly wrapped her arms about Rikku. Rikku felt her eyes water a little as she took in the lost scent and gripped at Paine's leather jacket as the other woman dipped her face into her neck and sighed.

##

"She emailed me." Keira announced excitedly. She was sitting on a stool in a busy dressing room getting her hair done for a final showing with her laptop on her lap. "Carlito!"

Carlo dashed to her side already fully in character. "What what what?"

"She emailed me." Keira beamed.

"Please stay still Ms. Kerrigan." The stylist pushed Keira's head back forward.

"Sorry sorry." She blindly reached a hand to her right and grabbed his arm. "Look."

"Could you not I just had these steam ironed and you know how our director can be about wrinkles in an age where irons weren't invented yet." Carlo said sarcastically as he leaned over to look at his co-stars laptop. "It seems she has emailed you, have you read it?"

"No, Yevon no."

"Well I thought this was the point."

"Not before a show. Not before _the_ show."

Carlo nodded in realization. "You're last first."

"I know."

"Break a leg."

"Break two."

##

They were sitting near their pond, on their rock. It was theirs only in their minds. It really belongs to the city, but that didn't matter right now.

Paine admired how Central Park began to show signs of life in its trees. The pond before them had thawed, but there were no ducks yet. It was the first thing Rikku pointed out upon their arrival. A sudden wind picked up and it was as if Shiva had tickled their cheeks. Paine glanced to her left at Rikku, she had just shivered. "Take my jacket." She already began taking her leather jacket off before Rikku could say anything.

Rikku slipped it on. "Thank you." She whispered.

Paine nodded and looked back on to the water. The sky was turning gray and it would only get colder but she was very content at the moment.

"We should start talking…."

"I don't want to." Paine admitted.

"Me either." They were both just happy sitting in the spot where they had first kissed those many months ago. Paine sighed a little and turned her body to face Rikku with one of her legs hanging off the rock and the other tucked under her. Rikku turned to do the same and couldn't help but smile a little when Paine took one of her hands in hers. "I should have never left like that, I should have stayed and tried to work it out, and with everything I should have just reacted better. You're the last person I want to hurt and I honestly thought I was doing a good job until I noticed you were upset. I love you, and I'm sorry…really." Paine nodded.

"I'm sorry too, for so many things so many times where I could have tried but I didn't want to, I wanted to be upset about something because things were too, things were going too well Paine,, and I'm scared of the future and it really made me doubt everything when you brought up Dona. I really didn't know what was going on in your head but I should have just asked. I should have asked and I'm so sorry,"

"I didn't call…"

"But neither did I."

"You did."

"Drunk. I was drunk on the night before two important midterms. "

"I know but…"Paine sighed heavily. "I feel like I should have because I …I was a dick bringing up sex like that. I was just insensitive and just not okay for a little bit. I wanna make things right, and I just wanna make you happy, that's all I want."

"When you said that it really upset me."

"I know it did."

"I tried to y'know….give you something and it didn't even seem like you cared at all. I just kept second guessing my ability to um…"

"Are you kidding me? If anything it made me want you so much more, I thought that you didn't want me to…to…I mean I…"Paine struggled a little. "I was just frustrated with myself, especially this past month. I felt like I wasn't giving you what you needed because I was so consumed with all my other shit. You're number one and I continue to fuck that up."

"No, stop okay?" Rikku asked softly. Even if what she was saying were true to what she were feeling, Rikku hated to see Paine beat up on herself. "You do so amazing at making me feel special, you don't even know."

"I can do better."

"I don't need you to though Paine."

Paine sighed. "Babe…I mean…can't you see I'm scared of the future too? I mean I'm really stressed out and I think that me…..the Dona thing was me trying to find something in my past and try and focus on making sense of that. I was trying to fix things that were better left broken. I'm just really fucking scared."

"Was?"

Paine nodded. "I told her to go fuck herself."

"Paine."

"Well something like that, you weren't the only person I fought wit this week." Paine rubbed at the back of her head. "Dona, Gippal, Em…"

"Elma?"

"We worked it out, it's not important, it's just that…I was in a bad place this week because I couldn't get passed myself with you. I was mad at you then I wasn't, and then I was mad at you but then I missed you.."

"I don't like when we fight at all, Paine, not at all." Rikku shook her head back and forth. "You make me feel…like….like I don't know but I was miserable, just awful."

"I'm sorry."

Rikku sighed and then nodded. "I know you are Pai."

"Can we…can we start over from like Valentine's day or something?"

Rikku nodded. "I would like that very much."

"Okay." Paine opened her arms and hugged Rikku close. "I love you too." She mumbled when she heard Rikku's whisper. "So much." Paine felt herself get a little watery eyed. She tightened her lids closed and then waited for it to pass. Why did it feel like they had just gotten into a hit and run and almost didn't recover?

"Pai….Paine….I can't breathe."

Paine immediately let go, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Hey." Rikku tilted her head. "Hey what's all this huh?" Rikku reached for her cheek. Paine sniffled as Rikku held her face with both hands. "Pypo."

Paine tried to look away but Rikku wouldn't let her. "C'mon." She begged cutely.

Rikku smiled at her. "Damm sa." Paine shrugged and Rikku pulled her back into a hug. The Judo fighter exhaled heavily and nuzzled her nose into Rikku's neck making Rikku feel all warm on the inside. She sighed lightly. "Baby we…..we can't do this again." She realized it too. "You can't just shut off on me like that, and I'm learning that everything isn't about me, we're a team." She sighed at herself this time. All the things that she had wanted from Paine she hadn't been doing herself, again.

Paine pulled away and wiped at her face like a five year old would when asked if they were a big girl or not. "Fucking aye." She mumbled at herself.

Rikku smiled as she watched Paine try to put her armor back on quickly. She took one of her arms away and held her hand. "I love you Paine Kerrigan, even when you cry."

"I wasn't crying." Paine said seriously causing Rikku to laugh for the first time all week. "I mean it, I just…y'know had something in my eye…"

Rikku nodded. "Oh. Here" she brushed away at Paine's eyelashes at the invisible something with a small smile in place. "I'll get it for you."

**AN: Sorry for the late update but I have been completely swamped with this thing called reality lol. Hope you all felt the tension in this one.**

**KathleenDee**


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter Fifty**

Rikku opened the front door and smiled at what she found.

Paine was standing there clad in a pair of beige cargo pants and a white long sleeved v-neck with the sleeves rolled up. Her hair was still a little damp but looked great in its usual style. She was holding an obnoxiously large daisy in one hand and her shades in the other. "Are you ready? I told Lulu and Wakka we'd be there before eleven."

"Come in." Rikku stepped aside and then closed the door behind her. "I'm two thirds ready."

Paine handed her the large flower. Today was their nine month anniversary. "What does that mean?"

Rikku smiled and leaned forward to smell it and smiled even wider when the floral notes of spring registered. This was her favorite season and the weather was finally starting to change for the better. "It means all the major stuff is out of the way."

Paine nodded and looked around. "Your Dad isn't home right?" She wanted to avoid any and all talk of Rikku's drinking episode.

"Mhm, he went to the country club with Uncle B and Leblanc today."

"How the other half lives…." Paine took off her shoes. "Here, I'll put this in water and you finish the one third of the way getting ready," Rikku hesitated before parting with the larger flower. "You like it?"

She nodded. "Yellow is my favorite color."

Paine smiled. "I know, happy anniversary."

Rikku reached for Paine's hand and gave it a squeeze before leaning toward Paine and meeting her half way in a tender kiss. It didn't last long because it didn't need to. "Nine months is a long time, you tired of me yet?" Rikku asked as she began to climb the stairs to the second floor. She looked down at Paine from where she stood.

Paine shrugged. "No."

Rikku only smiled before making it to her room and working on deciding on one of her spring time dresses to wear and putting her things into a tote. Today they were going to an outside music festival in Central Park with the D'Autry clan. Rikku found it both amusing and lovely that somehow they were creating this little family unit. She knew Paine was excited about it but remained calm and slightly indifferent on the surface for whatever reason, Vidina had replaced Rikku as Paine's background on her phone which was proof enough that she was taking this family thing with stride. Rikku didn't mind though, the thought of Paine going to the gym every morning and opening her locker was good enough for the blonde. Plus Vidina was way cuter than she was, she could openly admit that.

Rikku decided on a checkered red and white sundress. It was an amazing 70 degrees today and she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity when a cold front was on its way.

"You won't be cold in that?" Paine asked when Rikku got into the passenger seat of her car with all her things.

"No, and I brought a sweater too so…."

Paine nodded and buckled her seatbelt before looking for her sunglasses. Her eyes weren't as light sensitive as Rikku's green eyes were, but they would be driving directly in its rays and that was just annoying. "Baby have you seen my shades?" She began to look around for them.

"I saw you come in with them."

"Yeah well…" Paine sighed and felt under her driver's seat. "Can you check the glove compartment?"

Rikku popped it open and pushed a few things around. "You really need to clean in here and…" Her brows furrowed when she found a pack of cigarettes half way smoked. She looked over at Paine. "What is this?"

Paine cursed herself for not taking those out sooner. "What?"

"This Paine this, what are you smoking now or something?"

"I've always smoked."

"You have not."

She had, but never habitually. This was the same half pack she had smoked before going to meet Keira that one day.

"If I go out or something y'know if I am stressed… Look Gippal gave those to me when I wasn't taking the medication."

"Gippal gave these to you?" Rikku asked carefully. Paine looked as guilty as could be right now and if she weren't so concerned she'd laugh. "Let's call him then."

"What! Why? I'm an adult."

"Who has a mess of health problems that I'm sure smoking would make worse. Shiva, Pai."

"That one guy started smoking at twelve and lived like till he was a hundred and two."

"Which one guy?"

"That one guy, Rikku."

Rikku laughed. "The guy on the stop smoking commercials? That guy Paine? Who had to speak with a voice box thingy?"

"A TEP."

"A what?"

Paine sighed, "a tracheoesophageal puncture" Rikku just stared at her. Paine pointed to herself. "Physical Therapy."

"Oh so you actually know what you are doing then is what you're telling me?"

"Yeah."

"Well at least you won't have to hire someone to teach you how to speak all over again." Rikku put the pack back into her bag to throw out later and Paine laughed a little.

"Not we?" Rikku shook her head. "Tracheowhosit's are not sexy, sorry."

"Damn."

"Maybe you left them in the house?"

"What?"

"Your sunglasses."

Paine nodded, she could see them sitting on the kitchen counter and everything. "Mm, Can I grab Little Puppy?" Paine put her hand out and Rikku gave her the house keys and watched as Paine hopped out of the car and went to the door. She came back a minute later on her cell phone but wearing her sunglasses. Rikku grinned; her girlfriend could really pass for a celebrity in those things. They just fit her so well.

"That's what I was fucking saying…mhm." Paine got into the car and handed Rikku back her keys. "You wanna maybe check it out?...Yeah…." She buckled her seatbelt and started the car. "When? Nah I have work…no the other work….Sunday though let's check it out then….Oh…" Paine lowered her voice a little. "Well I mean what is she saying?... Alright, yeah, look Rikku and I are going to see Wakka and dem so I'll see you later at the house…I don't know…bye." She glanced at Rikku. "Gip." She explained.

"You don't have to tell me that, Pai."

Paine nodded and looked to the front for a second before looking back at Rikku. She shook her head at something and put her keys into the car and turned them. The car revved up and loud music took control of the cars bearings. Paine reached to lower it and then glanced at Rikku. "Sorry."

"I don't know how you drive with it that loud." Rikku nodded as she reached for her cell phone to text Yuna. "What band is this anyway?" She recognized it from a few times of being in Paine's car.

"Metric." Paine shrugged as she drove onto the main road. "So is your dad still upset with you?"

Rikku shrugged. "He says he's not mad he's disappointed….bleh."

Paine chuckled. "Yeah well he'll get over it soon enough."

"Yunie is the one who is in trouble."

"Really? Yuna in trouble?"

"I know right? She doesn't care though, with the whole Tidus thing bogging her down she just shrugs Uncle B off."

"So Tidus wasn't at work because of midterms, and then he was only there for a couple hours this week when I was there, we were both busy so we couldn't really talk."

"Do you guys talk ever?" Rikku glanced at Paine.

"Sometimes."

"Hm."

"Was going to invite him to my first show…y'know?" Paine glanced at Rikku now. "Bad idea?"

Rikku sighed. "I mean as Yunie's ride or die.."

Paine laughed. "Where'd you learn that?"

"On TV."

"Figures."

"But yeah, I would say no don't do it but… as me, as Rikku? I think you should. He has been your friend and you've known him longer than all of us. It would be nice to have him there for you. I also think it would force them to see how stupid they are acting."

"I don't wanna push them though."

"You're not."

Paine seemed conflicted as she pulled up to a red light. "I don't know…"

"Think about it."

"Would you warn Yuna if I invited him?"

"Should I?"

Paine shrugged. "Do what you have to do babe."

"All I have to do is show up looking pretty."

"Won't be too hard to accomplish." Paine smiled a little and then looked back to the road as the light turned green.

"Aw." Rikku smiled at the little bit of pink at the top of Paine's cheeks. "You should invite Keira."Paine laughed. "No I'm f'real."

"No." She shook her head "No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because you're nervous? If you think about this is how she found you in the first place remember?"

"Yea bu—" "

And you went to see her perform."

"Unknowing that she was my mother Rikku."

"Yeah but—"

"No I'm gonna do this my way okay?" Paine glanced at her. "We started emailing and that's—"

"Safe."

"Yeah, I like safe okay? She gave me away."

"Are you still with that?"

"It's a big fucking deal."

"It will always be a big deal until you really refuse to let it be one." Rikku turned in her seat. "Listen to me Pypo." Paine sighed and gave Rikku a sideways look. "The ball is in your court…now you can either continue emailing her until I don't know, or you invite her to this, thus extending an olive branch. You don't even have to talk to her. I'll make sure she doesn't bother you."

"I'm nervous enough as it is."

Rikku smiled. "How tall are those heels anyway?"

"Too tall." Paine groaned,

Rikku giggled. "Decide for yourself. I'm sure there will be other shows for you cause your sexy, but the first one holds some meaning y'know? You're offering a certain authenticity."

"Thanks, _Martha_."

Rikku smiled and rubbed Paine's arm before looking back to her phone. "Yunie says hi."

"Mhm." Paine nodded in thought as she drove.

##

"So meddma zammopayh! Kuuthacc muug yd druca lraagc uh oui!"

Vidina was squealing with happiness at Rikku's enthusiasm, he even spit up a little. "re!"

Rikku jumped up and looked to Paine who was wearing a very amused expression. "Holy crap he just said hi to me!"

Lulu laughed and exchanged a look with Paine. "Babe I think he was just making a noise…babies do that…"

Rikku shook her head at the nonbelievers and turned back to Vidina in his stroller and leaned down to take his little hand. "Fryd yna fa kuehk du tu fedr dras?" Vidina made a little spit bubble and Rikku nodded. "Aqyldmo."

"So Wakka couldn't make it?" Paine asked as Rikku took control of the stroller and started pushing Vidina along. They had just arrived at the large park in the middle of the city and it was turning out to be the perfect day for an outing like this. Lulu and Rikku were even wearing hats. Somehow Paine missed that memo but it was okay.

Lulu hiked the stylish diaper bag onto her shoulder that she had just pulled from her car. "He got called to the sphere to sign some papers. To stop from spreading rumors they have the players on call. He was upset that he couldn't come but really it won't be the first time and that's just what he's getting into."

"Yeah, when the team travels and stuff."

"Mhm." Lulu nodded and watched Rikku stop and turn to face the stroller to fix something on Vidina before standing and pushing him along. "How are things…?"

Paine shrugged. "Better."

"Last I heard you were going through something."

"When am I not?" Paine ran a hand through her hair.

"With Rikku Milan."

"Oh."Paine nodded. "Yeah we um…talked it out."

"Good." Paine glanced at her then back at Rikku a ways away from them. "She told you?"

Lulu gave her this look and Paine sighed. "Rikku comes to me for a lot of things; it's always been that way, Paine."

"Yeah well, I guess we are working on things more openly if that makes sense."

"It makes perfect sense. How are things with your mother?"

Paine made a noise. "How are things with your mother?" Lulu made the same noise and they both internally smiled. "Father though…he's called." Paine nodded. "I think I am going to let him meet Vidina, I haven't spoken to Wakka yet but…" She realized the conversation had stopped there and decided to pry a little. "Do you just not want to meet him, Paine?"

Paine shrugged. "Why when he doesn't even want to know me?" Paine had a few choice words for Paul Moore, but the more she thought about it the more she realized he wasn't worth her time. "At least Keira tried…Rikku thinks I should invite her to my first show."

"I think that's a nice idea."

"Nice?"

"Well it is ultimately up to you isn't it?" Lulu motioned to her engagement ring. "This doesn't mean that my concerns are mute." She motioned to Rikku pointing at some bird to Vidina. "There is a way to maintain self even while you are not quite whole without someone else." Lulu was quiet for a moment. "As is the current problem with Tidus and Yuna."

Paine thought about it and glanced at Lulu again. "I just wanna make her happy. If she wanted me to rob a bank I'd do it."

Lulu smiled. "I'd tell Wakka to rob it himself." Paine had to laugh a little at the mental image of big ol' Wakka putting on all black and running to a bank guns blazing. "Though there is nothing wrong with that, I think it's important to realize that she wants the exact same of you. Be you and for some reason she'll be happy. I don't quite understand why."

"Yeah well I tried to talk Wakka out of asking to marry him like a hundred times."

Lulu found herself smiling.

Rikku stopped at a bench to wait up for Lulu and Paine. She smiled at the sight of them. Had they realized they were strolling and not walking at a full pace? She watched as Lulu openly laughed at something Paine was saying. It made her notice their similarities more seeing them standing so close. They both used their right hand to talk and not their left. Paine had this little hoppy domineer and Lulu had this annoyed older sister look about her but it was obvious they were joking about something. Paine was taller, but not by much, and of course Lulu's raven hair favored her mother's as opposed to the smoky quality of Keira's.

Rikku looked down to Vidina in his little stroller and noticed that he was watching the duo as well. "Aunty Pai and Mommy." Rikku explained in Common. He looked up at her and gripped the air in front of her nose causing Rikku to laugh a little and point to herself. "Aun…" Her smile dropped a little and she didn't know why but she just felt real sad all of a sudden.

"Hey Rikks." Paine called as they got closer. "You wanna go find a spot to lay up? Maybe by the music in the grass?"

Rikku nodded and stood "Yeah, we were just taking a little break." She smiled at Lulu. "What are you feeding this kid? He weighs a ton."

##

Rikku looked to her right where Paine was laid on the grass beside her with her hands under her head. "Pai." Rikku whispered.

Paine turned to look at her. "This is nice huh?" Paine asked. The music turned out to be this jazzy funk band. She would have to look them up and make a CD when she got home. There was just something about the nice breeze and the jumpy beat that calmed her. The warm sun did help a bit too. "You think Viddy is enjoying it?" Paine asked and Rikku nodded with a smile.

"Let's have a baby." Paine groaned and Rikku laughed.

"Every time you see him you want a baby."

"We could bring him or her to the park and everything. Bayla Bayla baby." They both chuckled as Rikku leaned up on her elbows to talk down to Paine. Lulu had wheeled Vidina away to a public restroom not too far away to change his diaper leaving the two to lounge in the grass. "C'monnnn." Rikku begged cutely.

Paine smiled up at her. "Stop."

"Why?"

"Cause when you make that face I can't say no to you."

"So don't." Rikku pouted cutely.

Paine leaned up a little and stole a kiss from Rikku causing the blonde to blush. "Babies aren't always cute."

"Ours would be!" Rikku defended playfully tapping Paine on the arm.

"Yeah but _we_… can't have one."

Rikku pouted. "I want a little you."

Paine blushed heavily. "Babe c'mon…" Rikku loved making her feel squirmy it wasn't even funny. "We're not even y'know…married or anything."

Rikku laughed lightly at Paine's blush. "We don't have to be to have a baby."

"You're Al Bhed though…"

Rikku tilted her head. "So?"

"You're dad would kill me." Rikku laughed a little louder at the look on her face. "We can elope!"

Paine raised her brows at Rikku. "You're really trying to get me killed."

"Nooo, I'm tryin' to y'know." Rikku winked at her.

"You can have a baby if you want."

"Wha? What about us."

Paine shrugged "you'd still be my girlfriend I guess…"

"You guess!" Rikku laughed and playfully tapped Paine again. "Little Puppy has turned to drugs y'know because you're not an active par—" Rikku's features dropped at the look on Paine's face. "Paine I didn't—"

Paine looked away for a second before looking back up at Rikku. "_That's_ exactly why _we_ can't."

"Stop it."

"No you stop it okay?" Paine sat up and put her hands to rub her temples and her face.

Rikku sat there and wondered what had just happened. She reached a hand to Paine's shoulder and frowned when she tensed. Rikku moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled a soft smile out just for Paine. "You're perfect….perfect, and I want all of you, even the parts you don't want anymore." Rikku motioned to Paine's chest where her heart was. "Anyone would be lucky to get any part of you."

Paine looked up at her and Rikku was surprised at how bright her eyes were before being surprised again by Paine leaning forward to claim her lips. Rikku shook at how Paine was kissing her. She wrapped her arms around her neck quickly and exhaled heavily when Paine pulled away. "Can we just wait a little longer? I mean I'm not even out of school and—" Paine was cut off by Rikku kissing her this time.

"I love you." Rikku whispered when she was able to speak next. Paine was just too cute for words; Rikku could kiss her all day just because of that simple fact alone. Paine was about to say something when a shadow overcast them both. She looked up to see an unfamiliar woman wearing a visor and chewing gum.

"Excuse me this is a family day outing."

"So?' Paine asked. "Who the fuck are you?"

The woman seemed put off. "My children are sitting right over there and I don't think this type of display is appropriate for—"

"How 'bout you mind your own business, how about that?" Paine rolled her eyes. She glanced at Rikku who looked like she was going to apologize.

"Look ma'am, we weren't trying to do anything it—" Rikku began.

"I don't care what you people do in the privacy of your own homes—" Paine turned to look back up at her.

"You people?"

Rude

"Yes, you…gays." The woman whispered.

Paine raised an eyebrow at her whisper. "You're too ignorant to get upset over." She shook her head. "I'm gonna kiss my girlfriend whenever I feel like it, so if you and your husband and your two and a half kids feel uncomfortable well then you can suck my nonexistent—"

"Paine!" Rikku gave her a look and then looked back to the woman. "I don't know what you wanted to accomplish by coming over here so you might as well just leave."

"Is there a problem here?" Lulu asked noticing the looks on Paine and Rikku's faces. The woman turned to Lulu a little relived to see that she was pushing a stroller with a baby in it.

"Maybe you have the same concern as I do."

Lulu glanced at the duo sitting close and then back at the woman. "Maybe."

"I think we should really do something about people like them being in a park with children."

"Al Bhed?" Lulu questioned trying to figure out what the issue was.

The woman seemed offended. "I am very accepting of the Al Bhed, I mean that people like…"

"Dykes." Paine clarified from where she sat. Lulu seemed a little confused and then got it.

"Oh, you mean my sister and her girlfriend?" The woman seemed taken aback. "Why um I didn't know.."

"That's right, you don't know. So I would appreciate it if you would go back to wherever you came from and try and enjoy the day without hyperventilating every time you see two people in love, it really isn't necessary." The woman wondered off and Lulu shook her head at her. "Her husband probably cheats on her."

Rikku laughed at that even though she wasn't in a laughing mood. "Ai Lulu."

Lulu shrugged and took Vidina out of his stroller and sat down with him. "Paine?" Paine glanced at her. "Forget it." Paine just nodded and went back to enjoying the music.

##

The day had finally come to the end when Vidina fell asleep and showed no signs of waking anytime soon. It was around four in the afternoon when this happened. Rikku was helping Lulu break down the stroller and get Vidina's infant seat situated while Paine held him waiting. When Rikku motioned that the infant seat was ready Paine carefully put him in it and buckled him in before standing upright. Rikku leaned in to give him a little kiss on the forehead.

"I'll see you two soon I'm sure." Lulu said goodbye.

Rikku nodded and grabbed hold of Paine's hand to wave bye. Once Lulu was off the two headed for the area where Paine parked early that day. "So are you still thinking about that lady?" Rikku asked as the made it to the dark blue two door.

"No."

"Well why are you so quiet?"

"Trying to think of somewhere to go eat. Are you hungry?" Rikku nodded. "Okay well…" Paine unlocked the car with her keys and went back to thinking.

"I'm still thinking about that lady." Rikku admitted.

Paine shrugged as she put her cell phone into the cup holder with her spare change. "Don't."

"She doesn't even know us and we were like having a moment and I really wanted to y'know tell you stuff but she just ruined all of it. Why is it okay for her to come up to people like that? I mean she's accepting that I'm Al Bhed but not that I'm in love? fryd pimmcred." Rikku buckled her seatbelt.

Paine raised an eyebrow but let it be. Rikku had a right to be upset. "But other than that it was a nice day right? I really liked that band."

Rikku sighed and nodded. "Heylady."She knew Paine was just trying to get her mind off of it.

"Was that the name? I gotta remember it." Paine nodded. "Alright but what about food. I'm hungry."

Rikku checked her phone for the time. "Um….I'll make dinner."

"You don't want to go out?" Paine asked a little surprised. Usually Rikku liked to go out.

"We can still go out."

"But you don't want to eat out…."

"No."

"Okay well what are you going to make?" Paine started on the route back to Rikku's house.

"Ummm, fish and brown rice and…what?" Rikku laughed at the look on Paine's face.

"I don't feel like having fish…and the brown rice takes too long."

"Well what do you want me to make?"

"I can make grilled cheese!" Paine got really excited about the idea.

"Grilled cheese?"

"Yeah." "That's a lunch food."

"Not if we make a salad with it."

Rikku laughed a little."Okay I'll make the salad."

##

Paine searched the littered ground to find her jeans. "I just don't want to move to fast." She explained as she continued her search. Really how far could they have gone? She noticed Rikku's red and white sundress on the ground and found her own panties which she slipped into before continuing her search.

Rikku yawned from where she lay completely exhausted. "Mhm, but what do you guys talk about? Can I ask?"

"Can I turn a light on or something—"

Rikku hid under the covers. "Noooo"

Paine chuckled. "I can't find my pants."

"You don't need them where you're going." Rikku flirted. She was tired yes, but that didn't mean she couldn't exploit her beautiful girlfriend who was walking around her room in nothing but a pair of black panties.

Paine reached down to grab some denim but sighed when she realized it was a pair of Rikku's jeans. "My medication is in my pocket."

Rikku frowned a little. "They're by the desk."

Paine nodded but then froze and gave Rikku a look. "You knew where they were the whole time?"

"I took them off you didn't I?"

Paine laughed to herself and went over to Rikku's small desk. She reached a hand into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a little container with a divider she got from the Rin Pharmacy near her house. She put one of the pills under her tongue and walked over to the tall glass of water on Rikku's nightstand and swallowed it. She wouldn't need the melatonin to help her sleep tonight. Paine was sure she'd find sleep just fine. After that she placed the cup down and searched the floor again for a shirt.

"C'mon lay down." Rikku nodded.

Paine grinned lightly and got into bed with her. "My boobs are cold though."

"Come closer I'll warm them up for you and stuffs."

Paine laughed but scooted closer. "You're too much."

Rikku smiled and wrapped an arm around Paine's flat stomach. "Continue."

Paine leaned down and kissed her once before sighing and trying to figure out where she left off. "We don't really say anything too important just…we just talk. She had her last show during midterm's week and is going to audition for a new role for the spring production, she's nervous about it."

"What do you tell her?"

"I told her about how I start this new job soon; I didn't say it was modeling. I told her about school…"

"Do you feel like you are getting anywhere with the conversation?"

"I didn't know I was supposed to get somewhere."

"Well I mean do you feel as if you are learning about her, and she you."

"We just talk babe."

"Surface stuff." Rikku nodded.

"I don't know how to change that or…should I talk about Martha? I mean I haven't seen her well cause I skipped my last two sessions…"

"Yeah about that."

"Well the week before last I was still studying all weekend, and last weekend I was trying to fix things with you…"

"You still need to go Paine. What happens when you leave school and it's no longer justified through the courts to pay for it?" Paine shrugged. "Just something to think about."

"I know."

"At least invite her to get coffee or something if you don't feel comfortable about the show."

"I'm still thinking about it. How's your grandma?"

Rikku seemed a little surprised. "You remembered?"

"Just that you were worried about her."

"Oh well, I spoke to her the other day and she sounds better, you know when older people get colds you think it's really the end."

Paine chuckled a little. "Yeah I guess I can understand that, that's good she's feeling better."

"I really want you to meet her."

"As what?"

"As you silly"

"As me as your girlfriend or as me as you're good friend….which by the way from what you told me about this lady I don't think she'll buy that story."

Rikku smiled. "Probably not, Pops is talking about doing vacation soon and Yunie and I have to talk to Brother to think of a location. I wanna go back Home I had so much fun when I was there over the break and I really think you'd like it."

"I don't know babe."

"Timing?"

"Yeah. I gotta look at places next week and decide on somewhere so they can hold my spot for May."

"So soon. Gosh time is going by real fast."

Paine smiled and put her hand on Rikku's. "Don't be nervous."

"I'm trying not to be but damn y'know? Yunie and I submitted a butt load of applications for fall term and I think I can get in with Uncle B and do some work for him during the summer, but…"

"That's good, you can save up."

"Yeah. It all just seems so real now. We're not little kids anymore….Pypo?"

"Hm?"

"So like to Vidina, what am I?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well Yunie is his god mother and Teedus and Datto are his god daddies. You're his aunt…"

"You're his aunt too Rikku, what else would you be? His cousin?"

Rikku laughed a little. "I was just thinking today."

"You're his aunt, everyone knows it."

"I was missin—"

Paine's cell phone buzzing loudly cut Rikku off. Paine ignored it for a second or two before Rikku nodded for her to get it. "It's Gip." Paine nodded as she picked it up. "Paine...right this second?...I'm at Rikku's…..yeah it's not far but…uhuh, okay man… no I'm coming just hang tight….bye." She hung up and tuned to Rikku. "I gotta go get Gippal."

"Go and get him? Where is he?" Rikku noticed there was a certain no questions asked policy Paine and Gippal lived on; if one of them needed the other that was that. They were best friends so Rikku could understand, but there was still so much about the two that she had yet to understand. She didn't want to step on toes, so she didn't ask.

"Some place not too far from here actually. I'm gonna drop him home and then come back..I mean if you want me to."

Rikku nodded as she watched Paine get out of bed and slip her jeans on. "Yeah of course."

Paine put her shirt on over her bra and grabbed her leather jacket and phone before sitting on the edge of the bed to put on her socks. "You gonna fall asleep?" She asked noticing just how tired Rikku looked.

"I'll wait up."

"No no, sleep. I can come in and not wake you."

"I wanna make sure you're safe…" "I'm just driving him home Rikks."

"I know but I worry. It's late."

"Alright I'll wake you when I get back." Paine leaned over and gave Rikku a kiss. "Maybe." Rikku laughed a little. "You know what? I want you just like this when I come back."

"Sleepy and cold?"

"No," Paine got up and checked her pockets for everything before heading towards the door. "Naked."

##

Paine got into her car with a small smile on her face. She was in love bad and she couldn't help it at all. Rikku was just Rikku and that was all Paine knew she could ever need. With a little sigh she started her car and drove through the silent rich neighborhood that had almost become somewhat normal scenery to her. She thought about moving and getting a job as a personal trainer by day and maybe a night PT at the twenty four hour rehabilitation center she had found in the city. At least for the summer so she could save some money for rent if something happened. Paine always liked to have a backup, but she really wanted this living on her own thing to work out. She could have a drawer for Rikku's things that were taking over her closet at her current place. She could invite the guys over…Lulu and Wakka.. Paine nodded to herself as she made list after list of things that she needed to do.

_Keizer_ was a little shit hole tucked away by fancy boutiques in the upper west side. Not many people knew about it, but it was basically the Mecca for debauchery for the upper class New Lucan who was looking for a thrill. Whatever you were into, there was a way to find it. Paine had only been there once before with Gippal and it was what it was. They had scored a month's worth of oxy from some brat with a broken arm before getting in Gippal old beat up truck and going back where they belonged. That was a long time ago though. Paine just wanted to pull up, have him jump in and be on her way. It was the first time ever that she considered it late to be out like this. Maybe it was just Rikku rubbing off on her.

"Yo I'm here across the street." Paine said once Gippal picked up. She hung up when he said he was on his way up. Was it just her or did he sound way off? Paine supposed it was whatever he smoked, but that was a discussion for another time. She leaned back in her seat and stretched her legs a little while blindly shifting through stations on the radio. Today had been a long day and Paine wanted nothing more than to get back into bed with her naked girlfriend and sleep until noon. She already knew that wasn't going to happen though. Tomorrow was yoga with Yuna in the morning and then she was going to go with Baralai to check out a weapons expo in south Luca. It was about a two and a half hour drive all together which wasn't bad, but she figured they'd be there all day. Then she needed to go home and help Mackenzie with her homework and do her own while Joyce picked up a quickie night shift.

_Busy busy busy…._

Paine looked up to the passenger door when Gippal opened it. "Finally." She mumbled before putting her car in drive and pressing her foot down on the break. "What are you…?" She paused when she realized Gippal was picking up the seat for someone to get into the back, that someone just happened to be Dona Pilgrim. Gippal didn't say anything; he didn't need to, one look at Dona ghostly gray eyes told Paine everything she needed to know, but that didn't make it okay. She glared at Gippal after he put the zombie in her backseat. "What the fuck Gip?"

Gippal got into the car and motioned to Dona as he put on his seatbelt. "I didn't show up with her and I damn sure as hell didn't want to leave with her."

"So explain to me what the fuck she is doing in my backseat."

"Just start driving." Gippal glanced at the alley where the entrance to _Keizer_ was. Paine watched him look behind them warily.

"Whas a matter Dr. P, not happy to see me?"

"Shut up." Paine growled as she accelerated. She looked at Gippal. "You and I need to have a conversation."

Gippal sighed heavily."Listen she was strung over with some guys that are trying to take over Bart's territory, you really think I should have left her there?"

"I don't give a fuck man that's her choice, she wasn't high when she got there and started talking to them am I right?"

"So you wanted me to leave her there?" Paine didn't say anything. Gippal raised an eyebrow a little surprised at her. Paine glanced at the rare view mirror at a person she swore she knew at some point in time. It's just that right now she didn't know when that time was. She was so gone right now that it was scary. Her eyes were bright gray, her limbs limp, her attractive smirk nonexistent.

Was that how she used to look too? Were they like that together?

She hadn't been around someone as high as Dona was right now since she OD'd two years ago. It made her skin crawl with the feeling of lost withdraws, with the want and the hate all in one. Paine focused on the yellow lines on the road and then stopped when she felt like she was going to crash if she didn't look ahead of her at some point. In the back seat Dona made a noise.

"Can you tell her to shut up or something? Fuck." Paine put a hand to her head as if in pain. It was like a fever, and all of a sudden she was sweaty.

"Are you o—"

"How could you do this?"

Gippal sat up a little. "You didn't have to—"

"Bullishit Gippal you know I would never leave you."

"I didn't take any—"

"Tonight you didn't, tonight, but the other nights…You're just like that…" Paine glanced back at the zombie in the backseat.

"Whoa Dr. P calm down a second." She looked like she was hyperventilating.

Paine began to breathe heavily and darted her gaze everywhere before finding a spot to pull her car over and get out. She dropped to her knees on the curb and threw up a grilled cheese sandwich and the half she split with Rikku.

Gippal glanced at Dona in the back. They had met in the sixth grade, she was a shy little sister and Bart was her protective older brother. She was quiet like Paine was, and she had yet to lose her parents and her innocence behind the drugs. Gippal always wondered the role he played in the two of them starting to use. He had always wondered if maybe things would have turned out differently if he had not been Paine's friend. Maybe if he were a better friend.

Gippal opened the glove compartment and pulled out a few napkins before getting out of the car and kneeling down beside her.

##

"So you sure you can't make it?" Baralai asked as he got into his car. He nodded. "Alright well I'm sure there will be other ones…. Feel better, bye." Paine hung up her phone and stared at the ceiling in her room. She hadn't gotten out of bed yet and didn't think she was about to. Her room door knocked and she cleared her throat. "What?"

"It's me."

Paine sighed. "Come in."

"Paine?" Rikku asked sounding more worried now that she was actually able to see the state her girlfriend was in. Paine had come back the night, slept for a few hours and then said she was going home. It was four in the evening now and Rikku hadn't heard from her girlfriend at all, but she did receive a text from Gippal saying she should probably come over and do some damage control. He had been very tight lipped about why Paine was in a mood. Rikku knew it probably had to do with whatever happened when she picked him up.

Her room was a mess.

The shades were drawn so the room was relatively dark. There were clothes and random papers from Paine's desk all over the floor, books were overturned, and her nightstand was on the floor save for the crystal picture frame she got for Christmas. It was like a hurricane came through here. Her girlfriend was lying in bed on her side facing the wall in a modified fetal position. "Pai what's wrong?" Rikku quickly stepped into the room.

"Close the door?" Elma had tried to push her way in to check on her twice already.

Rikku closed the door gently and went over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Have you been in here all day? What's wrong? Please tell me." She leaned herself onto Paine's side to get a good look at her face which was somewhat hidden by the hair she hadn't styled yet for the day and her pillow. Paine winced a little and Rikku took some of her weight off her side. "Are you still in pain?" She brought her hand to Paine's back and pulled down her blanket and picked up her shirt a little to see the scar. It was a little red as if Paine had been itching it again.

Paine pulled her blanket back up over her. "Stop babe." She mumbled.

Rikku grew even more concerned. "Pypo.."

"I drove Dona home last night."

Rikku sat up. "I thought you were getting Gippal."

"He brought her with him."

Rikku tried to swallow the anxiety she was suddenly feeling. "And…?"

"And she was high on meth." Paine turned onto her back to look at Rikku. Her eyes were a little puffy and her usually clear face was slightly rosy in color. "I feel so sick."

Rikku caressed Paine's left cheek. "Okay."

"I didn't…y'know..I didn't—"

"I know you didn't." Rikku tilted her head a little. "You're strong Pai, it'll be okay."

"I don't feel so strong right now, Ri."

"But that's okay cause I'm right here." Rikku leaned over to Paine's small nightstand and shuffled through the top drawer until she found a hardened tube. "Turn over." Paine sighed but did as she was told. Rikku lifted her shirt and opened the tube to squirt an inch worth of the antiseptic gel onto her finger before gently applying it to the red area. She put the tube back in Paine's nightstand and then got up from the bed and took survey of the room. Paine watched as Rikku began to pick up the room. The books she knocked over in her anger, the clothes she threw the closest, the empty medicine bottle that had turned out all the little white pills across her desk surface. Rikku heard Paine getting out of bed and when she glanced over at her she was picking up a textbook. Rikku nodded to herself and caught her gaze before going back to slipping all the little white pills into the orange prescription container; secretly counting them as she went along.

##

"Wow."

Rikku nodded.

"Is she feeling better now?" Yuna asked as she poked a fork into her salad.

"Sounds like quite the weekend."

Rikku nodded again. "It made me realize just how far we still had to go…"

"Yevon, I could only imagine."

"These things just don't go away…anyway yeah she's feeling like her normal self again which is good. How are um… things?" Rikku took a bite of her sandwich.

Yuna offered her cousin a small smile. "Things as in Tidus?"

"Well y'know since you brought it up." Rikku said with a mouth full of food.

Yuna laughed a little but then just said nothing. "Did we decide on a place yet? For vacation?"

Rikku frowned. "Yunie…"

"I don't want to talk about him anymore, Rikku." They shared an understanding exchange of silence before Rikku put her sandwich down.

"Well Home is where I always want to go."

"I don't know, I was thinking Guadosalam."

"Ugh Yunie that place is depressing, and not to mention too close to The Plaines."

"So you're never going to visit there again? C'mon they have such a rich culture."

"So does Bikanel!"

"I either have to get you on my side or Kirill to win, you know that right? Majority rules."

Rikku laughed. "It's a shame people think you're so nice."

Yuna smiled. "isn't it?"

"Ladies."

Yuna looked up quickly and her face dropped a little. "Oh, hey Baralai."

Rikku frowned a little but then looked up to see Paine was with him. "Pypooo." She whispered happily as Paine came to sit beside her.

"Hey Rikks."

"How's it going?" Rikku asked her. Paine only nodded.

"What are you guys talking about?" Baralai asked as he took the only other open seat beside Yuna.

"Vacation plans for part of the summer." Yuna nodded quickly gaining her composure."Thoughts?"

##

"He's gained two pounds."

Wakka and Lulu exchanged pleased looks. "Dat's good ya?" Wakka asked just to make sure as he watched the pediatrician take a cranky Vidina off the cold scale.

"That's very good for a preemie of his size. It means little Vidina Mateo is thriving." Lulu nodded. "Good good." Wakka stood to accept his son. "Lil' champ." He cooed as Vidina calmed down a little at his father's warmth. Wakka sat back down beside Lulu. "Um so…his lungs look good now?"

"We've been noticing he sleeps the whole night now and he's very alert when awake, mental capacity was one thing that we were told to look out for…" Lulu glanced at her son and then the doctor who had been taking care of Vidina since he was born.

"Well sleeping all night is excellent, and he does seem to have a little personality. His lungs are adjusting well. Does he recognize faces other than Lulu's?"

"Well he knows me." Wakka nodded and then looked to Lulu. "What about Datto?…He knows Datto too. Yuna…" Lulu nodded. "Paine and Rikku, the other day at the park you should have seen how his face lit up when they came over."

The doctor nodded. "Well it sounds like he has his own little village already." She looked at Vidina's chart. "I would say that we should continue to just be aware, he's in a very impressionable age and that can be good or bad. Are you still breast feeding Lulu?" Lulu nodded. "Yes." "Good, so make sure that your diet is rich in nutrients for him…" She flipped his chart closed and leaned over to shake Vidina's little hand. "I'll see you in two weeks little guy."

"Say Bye." Wakka laughed when Vidina moved his lips and the puckered them a little.

"Lulu Dr. Leon will be in shortly to check on you. You three take care."

Once the new parents were left alone they took a breath of relief "His stuff came out real good Lu."

Lulu nodded. "You sound surprised."

"I was just worried ya? I mean…" Wakka looked down at his son. "He's perfect how he is y'know, that's what I think but if dey say something was really wrong then I don't know what I would do." He looked back up at Lulu.

"I know, what you mean. I was really worried for him, for us."

"How 'bout you?" Wakka asked gently. "You still…sad?"

"I don't know how I feel."

"Maybe we should ask the doctors about post partum—"

"I'm not depressed, Wakka."

Wakka nodded quickly. "Okay so den tell me, everything is coming together, I signed the papers so we'll have money in the bank by Friday, Viddy is healthy…I mean…what else?"

"I supposed I just never thought my life would be like this." She admitted looking back at him. "I love you, and our son, and the fact that I still get to do what I love…It's just that."Lulu shrugged again."Do you ever feel as though something is missing?"

"Wit my parents and brudda?"

"Yes."

Wakka was quiet for a long time, Vidina's baby noises taking up the silence. "Yeah but… I have a family, and it might not look like everyone else's, but I got one y'know, and so do you."

"I just can't understand how they could act so…."

"Cold?"

"And selective." Lulu nodded while looking at him. There was really no one else who knew her as well as Wakka did. Sometimes it was scary or annoying, right now it was just right. "Paine feels like he doesn't care, I know he does though."

"Is it your fault though?" Wakka adjusted Vidina in his arms. "No. You and her are working things out ya? I couldn't be happier cause I've known you both and I know you both need that type of friendship….but it ain't your fault that they don't think like you. Feel lucky."

Lulu smiled at him. "Not just brawn."

Wakka chuckled and leaned back in his chair."Can I ask dem that question?"

Lulu laughed. "No." "Ay but Lu—"

"Wakka if you ask you won't get the chance to see just how well I've been healing."

Wakka laughed more and bounced Vidina in his arms a little. "How 'bout it buddy? You want a little sister or what?"

##

The front door opened and Dona seemed a little surprised. "What do you want?"

Gippal Trent stood there wearing long dark blue jeans and a white shirt and a gray jacket. He looked a mess and his usually clean shaven face was prickly with a dark blonde stubble. He put his hands into his pockets.

"We need to talk."

Swirly green met deep gray.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Please." Gippal took a step forward.

##

Paine sat down and rested her fingers on the ivory.

Her last class had been canceled.

At least this was her excuse…

She had known about this place since her first day at NLU when she was drawn in by the melodic tones coming from a petite music major sitting on stage playing for an empty crowd. Paine had to admit to having a little crush on the bare footed piano player back then. But she never saw her more than three times before she hadn't seen her again. The judo fighter supposed she graduated by now, but in graduating she left her secret spot and this was Paine's first time to actually to take advantage of it. She glanced up at the seats before her. It was dark, and so was the stage save for small backdrop lights. She found that she didn't need much light anyway. Paine stretched her fingers out and rolled from octave to octave on her right hand.

The keys were heavier than she remembered.

##

Rikku sighed and leaned on her elbow in the library as she scrolled down the on the computer screen.

_There is nothing you can do to "help" them stay sober…  
><em>

Rikku shook her head and opened a new link.

_Withdrawal from Oxycotton can be very unpleasant but rarely fatal. Addicts will experience muscle and bone pain, insomnia, restlessness, nausea and vomiting, sweating, involuntary muscle twitches, dry mouth…_

Rikku wiped at her face and opened a new link.

_It is not uncommon for Oxycotton addicts to relapse after treatment, so it is important for everyone concerned, the patient, family and friends, to understand this reality. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt. Sometimes it takes several attempts…_

She sat back in her seat and pulled out her cell phone.

##

Paine stopped playing and took up her phone from the seat she was sitting on.

_**I love you** _

She smiled before responding.

_**I love you too, Rikku**_

**_Promise?_ **

Paine's smile fell and she scratched the back of her head before responding.

**_With all my heart, Princess_ **

**_We need to talk_ **

**_Whatever it takes_ **

Rikku wiped at her eyes again and nodded at the response before closing all the windows on the library computer and gathered her things. What did these people know about Paine Kerrigan anyway?

##

"Now Mr. Trent you do realize that you are willingly signing these forms. Correct? Forms that take away your rights?"

_Why is this pen so heavy?_

Gippal nodded. "Yeah…"

The nurse standing beside him patted his arm. "Welcome."

**AN: Fast Update thanks to your wonderful reviews. Keep 'em coming!There will be more Keira Paine interaction coming soon I promise :)  
><strong>

**KathleenDee**


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter Fifty One**

"What can I do for you two tonight?" Her nametag read Philly, she was around 5:2 and wore about twenty different pieces of flare. It was odd though because neither Paine nor Rikku had seen her here before, but it wasn't as if they frequented this diner a lot anyway. Everready was about ten blocks north and had open seats, Rikku just thought it would be a nice change of scenery for the two since today was about doing things different.

Paine handed her the two menus. "I'm gonna have a turkey burger and waffle fries."

"To drink?"

"Water is fine."

Philly turned to Rikku. "Miss?"

"Bacon cheeseburger with an extra pickle please."

"To drink?"

"Um…cold cider?"

Philly nodded. "Alright that will be up in just under a second." She waited for the two to realize it was a joke but got nothing but silence from the table. Philly nodded to herself before leaving.

Paine sighed and rested her arms on the faux wooden table. Rikku shimmied out of her bright colored blazer. "So…"

The silver haired woman scratched the back of her head lightly while watching Rikku get situated. "We couldn't have gone to Eveready?" She felt like she was cheating on this place by coming here.

"This place was closer Paine, we both missed lunch today." Rikku rolled up the sleeves of her blouse a little and tilted her head slightly. "What's wrong with this place?"

"Nothing…"

Rikku nodded once slowly. "How did it go? You aren't saying anything…" Just then Philly placed their drink orders before them. Rikku sipped at her cider as she watched her girlfriend slip open a straw and dunk it into the clear water glass. "Do you want your lemons?"

She shook her head. "No, go ahead."

Rikku reached over with her left hand and pulled the small saucer towards herself. "So?"

Paine shrugged. "It was alright." She took a few long sips of her water. "They had refreshments at the end."

"You didn't spoil your dinner did you?" Rikku asked as she dropped a lemon wedge into her cloudy drink.

"No, but then I didn't know we were going to get something to eat."

Rikku nodded. "Well I figured since its dinner time it would be nice to do this."

Paine nodded. "Yeah, it is Monday after all."

"That's right." Rikku smiled a little and Paine tried to offer her one back but failed miserably. She watched as her girlfriend sighed again. "That bad?"

Paine was about to say something but then she remembered that Rikku was really trying here for her and she should meet her half way or none of this would work out, and Paine wanted it to work out. She straightened herself up a little and cleared her throat. "Um, it's not that it's just that…you know me."

Rikku nodded. "Well it's okay if maybe the first time was a little…different."

"Yeah." Paine nodded optimistically. "I uh…yeah. How did it go for you?"

Rikku fell quiet for a moment and thought back to how she spent the last hour. "It was interesting." She reached for her drink.

"Interesting? Did you… feel you could relate?"

Rikku only shrugged. "I actually didn't realize how hungry I was until I saw that chips and salsa platter walk by." She motioned with her chin to a nearby table.

Paine followed her gaze. "You want to get an appetizer? I'm buying so get whatever you want."

Rikku shook her head at Paine. "You can't and won't buy me anything till like, graduation."

"Why not?"

"You have to go look at those places Pai. Don't worry I've got this one, you have things to pay for."

Paine was going to resist but then let it go. She picked up her water before speaking. "Graduation it is then."

"Mm, let's talk about something."

Paine let herself chuckle. "Weren't we just?"

"Well I mean." She put her glass down. "Something we don't have to think about too hard."

Paine nodded. "Okay um…you looked really nice today, don't think I told you that yet."

Rikku smiled and reached her right hand out to cover Paine's on the table. The cool metal of her grandfather's ring causing Paine to just barely lift her hand and interlace the tips of their fingers. "This is a good thing." Rikku reminded softly. She took her left hand and covered their two hands with it.

They locked eyes and Paine nodded. "I know baby."

"I love you bunches, pypo." She whispered.

Paine let out a little sigh. She wished this table wasn't between them right now. "I love you too, Rikku."

##

"Pops!" A few days had passed and Rikku was getting ready to leave the house for the day but first she needed to find her father. She knew her old man was home. All his stuff was by the door save for his wallet. She stood in the middle of the hallway on the first floor and sucked in a huge breath. "POPS!"

"MILAN!"

Rikku grinned and headed toward the formal living room. She instinctively slowed her step cautiously as a precaution to not knock any glass that was in the usually unoccupied room. She had knocked over a dove once when she was 15 and boy was her father pissed.

There sitting on a cream linen sofa was her father clad in a light blue button down and some gray slacks and Juliann Leblanc dressed in one of her work power suits. She looked a lot more relaxed sitting next to her father like that though, she was barefoot, and her dark rimmed glasses Rikku was sure were just for show were nowhere to be found.

"I don't know why you two insist on living in such a large house without an intercom system, all you do is yell."

Cid caught sight of his daughter and waved Leblanc off gently. "Milan, look at these, look at what I found." It was then that Rikku actually realized what the duo were doing.

She went pale.

"Pop! C'mon!"

Leblanc had to admit to being a little amused at Rikku's response to the baby pictures of her using a bubble bath for the first time. "I wonder if that Kerrigan girl has seen these yet." She found herself teasing. Cid laughed.

Rikku moved to close the book but her father pulled it away. "Pop…."

"Milan there is nothing wrong with these—"

"You're right, except the fact that you're looking at them."

He chuckled again and shook his head before going back down memory lane. "Look here, you in your first pair of jeans." He smiled the way only a father would at the wobbily little girl holding onto a dining room chair.

"Well for a little tike it was difficult to get used to okay?" Rikku crossed her arms.

"Aw look Juliann, Kirill…" Cid motioned to the photo of his son as a little baby.

"He looks so much like you." She mused.

Cid sighed contently and then looked up at his daughter. She was wearing light skinny jeans and a lime green tank top no longer the little girl playing in bubbles, but a young woman.

Where did the years go?

"What is it Milan?"

Seeing that she finally had his attention she uncrossed her arms. "Well I was hoping you were alone…" Rikku glanced at Leblanc and then shrugged. "But seeing as how you're gonna end up with the old fart I guess its okay." She shifted her weight a little. "Um so you both know how I'll hear back from schools soon and I wanted to start whenever they would take me right?"

Leblanc sat up and Cid nodded.

"Well realistically I can't pay for it on my own, and Pop we talked about that you'd y'know step in and stuffs."

"Of course."

"I first wanted to say thanks, but then I wanted to talk about y'know paying you back." Cid opened his mouth to protest but Rikku shook her head. "Before you say anything I'm not paying back right away, that's unrealistic too, but I wanted Uncle B to put something together saying that I have to, and I want you to sign it okay? I've already decided on this."

"How are you going to afford to that right out of school, Milan."

"I already called Uncle B yesterday and we talked about prices…for my half of the half?"

Cid nodded slowly. "I was hoping you'd hold onto it."

Rikku frowned at his frown. "I know Pops and I…was gonna, but um… I just need to try and make my own name for myself. It's always gonna be or family's business, I mean hell you still work there." She paused. "And I might even buy it back once I'm rollin' in the Gil y'know?"

"Well…If you've made up your mind."

Rikku nodded. "I've just really been trying to focus on something worth my while and I am gonna put all my energy into this thing."

"What about your art darling?" Leblanc asked in her usual tone.

Rikku was a little surprised at the question, especially coming from her. "Gonna give it away to make room for new stuff…I don't think I'm ever going to stop doing it." That seemed to remind Rikku of something. "Oh and Pops I drafted up the margins on your trust."

Cid laughed. "Look at this." He turned to Leblanc. "She'd make a good one, it's just a shame."

"I just wanted to clarify that when I'm twenty seven I'll get access to it."

Cid stood a laugh still in his throat. "You and your brother, but no sooner."

"What! Brother is twenty five though!"

Cid shrugged. "I've allocated an equal amount; don't think of that money though. You won't even see it then." He leaned over and began gathering a few photos. "These will look good in my new office." He nodded showing Leblanc who agreed but made a comment about adding the one with Rikku in the bubble bath too. "Aha, I think I just might."

Rikku rolled her eyes but smiled. "Lemme see those."

Cid handed the few over to her. "Help me load up my car will you kid?"

Rikku nodded and followed after him down the hall as Leblanc shook her head with a hint of a smile.

"So how are things with Paine?" Cid asked as he picked a cardboard box. He now had a total of three offices including his in home one. Life at the ports promised to be a lot more relaxing though.

"Hm?" Rikku looked up from a funny picture of Yuna.

"Paine. How is she?"

"Paine….is, alright, she's doing alright."

"You two done fighting?"

Rikku nodded. "Oh yeah."

"Good." Cid nodded as he opened the front door and began the steps down to the drive. "What do you all have planned for the summer?"

Rikku shrugged as she remembered that she was actually helping him and picked up a box by the door before following after him. "Not much actually. Dr. P has to work, it's gonna suck I'll be bored all day." She pouted just thinking about it.

"Maybe you should consider a little part timer."

"I am, just looking to hear back from these schools."

"Anywhere cool?"

"Yunie had me applying all of Spira!" She handed her father the box. "Like I'd go to Mt. Gagazet!"

Cid laughed. "Is a stretch for a desert girl. I didn't know you were considering leaving Luca though, it could be quite the adventure Milan."

"I wasn't really… I'm just waiting to see what everyone says y'know?"

"Mm." Cid nodded as he closed the trunk of his car. "How is your cousin doing?" His tone softened a bit. Usually Yuna was around more often than she had been.

They walked back inside.

Rikku sighed. "Well I was going to go to the mall but…I can always do that. Take a seat old man."

_**One and a half weeks later….**_

"We started meetings… Monday afternoon…6pm." Paine picked at the knee of her jeans. "Separate though, they're separate meetings."

Martha nodded. "How does that make you feel?"

"Well one is for people who love people who are recovering or…not recovering, and then the one I go to….It's all at the YMCA which is convenient I guess. We went for something to eat after…." Paine looked down. "Burgers."

"You don't like going." Martha read.

"It's not that."

"Well what is it then?"

Paine shrugged. "I feel like I don't fit in."

"Hm…"

"I still drink, and I smoke pot from time to time…and that's not sober right? At least that's what they say. I feel dry though, I feel it every day regardless of what I do…I feel it missing." She shrugged."I've just grown used to that feeling, the medication helps some..no one there is on medication … and everyone is missing teeth or children or homes…Tonight I'm a model, and…Well I just don't feel like I fit in."

"True sobriety depends on the individual. Most people cannot handle drinking or smoking after so it became a general rule. You are a special case, but that means you still need to monitor yourself. Addiction has many faces, I'm sure if you went to a meeting in a health facility down the block half the people in the room would be models."

"Maybe."

"What is it?"

"I just feel bad for putting Rikku through this."

"I think she knew what she was getting herself into Paine, and it seems to me that she is planning on sticking it out, I know these meetings weren't your idea. Coming to see me again wasn't your idea. Embrace her involvement; open the floor for discussion….Did you ask her about her meeting?"

"Yeah."

"What did she say?"

"She said it was interesting…I just picture her in that room with all those old fat women and crazy step kids and just….I feel like she'd feel out of place too. And then there is the whole Yevon thing…"

"A lot of these groups believe that a divine intervention is usually the best kind."

"Rikku is very Al Bhed."

Martha laughed a little. "Remind me what that means."

"Well she thinks New Yevon is full of crap, and I agree with her."

"Hm."

"I looked up Al Bhed meetings for her, but she said she wanted to go to the one where we went before…So I guess that means it's on going."

"And you have a problem with that?"

"I feel like…like I'm disabled."

"In many ways you are."

"I don't want to have to depend on my medication or these meetings or any of that. I feel like I'm too young."

"You were put in the care of the courts at eleven months, you were almost sexually abused at six, I say almost but I know the mental abuse is still there, and then you were put in foster care at the age of seven, and you had a drug overdose at nineteen, you _are_ too young, but that isn't the point."

"What's the point?"

" That you are twenty one, two years clean, and getting all the help you could need. Be patient. You will get there. I think Rikku has figured out when you are weakest which most significant others don't realize before it's too late."

"When is that?"

"At the cusp of any major change. You graduate soon, you're looking at your first apartment, you have a birthday coming up and you just reconnected with your biological mother, you became an aunt too, this is prime time for a relapse and the whole Dona incident proved it. Paine if you didn't have Gippal, and Rikku, and Mackenzie and Vidina to let down I am a hundred percent sure that you would have relapsed already. That's just how it works."

"Rikku sat me down…she was…" Paine sighed and rubbed her hands on her jeans. "I've never seen her so serious."

Martha nodded. "Is this when she asked you?"

Paine nodded. "At first it was…I felt attacked and then it felt like she didn't trust me but…Y'know she just came right and asked me….'Pypo...did I miss count those pills in your room? Or did I count them correctly'…."

_Flashback_

"_What pills?"_

_Rikku shook her head sadly, but her voice was firm. "The ones you take every night that were scattered on your desk." She glanced at a sheet of paper she printed out at the library. "Naloxone hydrochloride." _

_Paine just sat there. "What?"_

"_I counted them."_

"_Why would you do that?"_

_Rikku was quiet for a moment. "Did I have to?"_

_Paine looked around the attic where they had been talking. It was sometime in the evening, they were both sitting on the ground. Rikku was wearing one of her shirts, her toes just brushing the paint stained floor from many months ago. She didn't want to look at her face. "I have five in my jeans pocket for when I sleep over, Rikku."_

_Rikku took a breath of relief._

"_You thought I relapsed….on an opiant antagonist?"_

"_I didn't know what to think." Rikku noted how hurt Paine looked and sighed. "Don't be mad at me. I love you and I was worried, even if you did I—"_

"_If I crushed them up? You'd still love me?" Paine didn't look at her. "I was having a bad day—"_

"_You were locked in your room, Paine. You were angry and confused and you put yourself in a position—"_

"_What position?!"_

"_Why else would they be on the desk like that?" Paine fell quiet. Rikku ran a hand through her blonde hair. "Baby…"_

"_I wasn't going to."_

"_It didn't help that you were half way there already."_

"_I wasn't going to!"_

"_Paine."_

_Paine exhaled heavily. "Seeing Dona made me sick…It made me physically weak Rikku. I was… I wasn't thinking, and I wasn't me. I trashed my room, that's it."_

"_Why were they out like that then?" Rikku knew her too well. "For you to be in any kind of situation like that pains me, it really does, but I can't sit here and push and push and push. You have to give me something Pypo, anything. I'm on your team. We have the same goal." Rikku looked like she was going to cry, Paine reached her hand for hers. "Don't do this, please just…." She moved her hand away from Paine's. "Just tell me."_

_End Flashback_

"So you told her."

Paine hand her face in her hands. She only nodded.

"How do you f—"

"How do I fucking feel?"

Martha blinked. "Yes."

"I felt like shit. Like the lowest. Here Rikku is…y'know this beautiful person forced to deal with my bullshit because what? She liked my face? We're too far invested? I saved her?"

"You and I both know that isn't the case."

Paine let out a heavy sigh and calmed down. "It was literally a millisecond of a thought…" She made a motion to scattering the pills on her desk. "I just couldn't do it." Paine fell quiet again. There had been a lot of silences during this session. "I couldn't do it because it wasn't just about me anymore. I wasn't the only one to reap the consequences. I…I went in bed and cried like a bitch because I didn't want to hurt everyone else, and it wasn't fair and I hated myself for even thinking it, for even going there. Two years? For what? I've had plenty of opportunity to, and fucking Dona is what does it?…I was upset with myself…then ten minutes later she showed up. Just like that." Paine fiddled with the Al Bhed beads on her wrist. "She just started cleaning…my mess…my fuck ups….and even though I wanted nothing more to just let her deal with it I…" She shook her head. "I couldn't."

"Did you tell Rikku that?"

Paine nodded.

"What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything… She just kinda gave me this look..this sort of smile. I could tell she was still worried. Then she hugged me so she wouldn't have to say anything."

Martha grew thoughtful. "She knows."

Paine nodded and leaned back in her chair. "I never want to hurt her and that would be like… the worst thing I could possibly do. I know it is."

"And this was a week and a half ago?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you two now?"

Paine calmed down considerably; it was as if she remembered everything they had been talking about was actually in the past and not the present. "We're…really good. I'm trying to focus on her more, building things over and just, taking it easy." Paine paused for a moment. "I love her…a lot."

Martha wanted to smile just a little; she could see a journey had come to an end in Paine's mind. This searching for something that never was, a childhood, a person, it was all in the past it seemed, which was good, only time would tell though. For the sake of professionalism Martha remained neutral. "Good."

"I um….I don't know if this is in light of everything that happened or was happening or is about to happen but I wanted to run something by you." Paine scratched the back of her head. "Y'know make sure I'm not being flighty."

"Okay."

"There is this Al Bhed tradition…."

##

Paine waited outside of Martha's office for Rikku to pick her up. Her car was giving her some trouble so she was planning on looking at it if she had time after she and Rikku visited Gippal in rehab.

Rehab

When Paine got the call from him saying that he had checked himself in she was filled with mixed emotions. One she couldn't be happier for her best friend, he seemed so optimistic which was good, but this was before the withdrawal really kicked it. She had never considered rehab, probably because almost dying was way more powerful than any twelve step program could be. In Paine's eyes she had gotten very lucky, and with that luck she had to change the way she lived or she would certainly be in the ground before she were thirty, and now with Vidina around, and Mackenzie, and Rikku playfully pressuring her about babies or puppies or chocobos or whatever it was this week, Paine really knew she had to make it.

She didn't tell a soul that this was in her plan; surviving.

Rikku pulled up just then in her preppy white car. The blonde had her hair up in a choppy pony tail with her bangs out framing her pretty face and was wearing sunglasses. She lowered the music and smiled as Paine approached the car.

"Looking for a good time?" Paine asked as she leaned against the car.

Rikku laughed. "Would you get in the car already? Fa'ja kud drehkc du tu!" She watched Paine walk around and then hop into the passenger seat. Rikku put her car in drive. "I was gonna get tacos for lunch but then I saw the line and…" She gave Paine a double take. "How did it go?"

Paine nodded. "It was…good."

Rikku eyed her before nodding herself. "Good… Are you ready for tonight?"

Paine shrugged and picked up the water bottle she left in Rikku's car earlier. "I have to be at the venue by four."

"I can GPS it. Yunie is already there, can you believe that?"

"Clocking in hours."

"Yeah I know, I'll drop you and then come back home and start getting ready and then meet up with everyone at Wakka and Lulu's and head over with them."

"Sounds good."

"Have you decided what you wanted to do after?"

"I don't think I'm gonna be up for much, we have to look at places tomorrow morning remember? Isn't Wakka gonna watch some game or something?"

"The Beasts vs The Abes in a pre season scrimmage. Yeah he invited everyone back over for that. He said he'd DVR it, but I don't think he knows how."

Paine laughed. "Probably not, Lulu has it set I'm sure."

"I'm excited, Brother has been texting me all hyped up about the season. He said he's saving us some tickets for when Luca goes against the Psyches."

"Nice."

"The pre scrimmage games are with the veteran players so that's why Wakka doesn't have to be there but hey listen we'll go for the first two quarters and then call it a night huh?" Rikku placed a hand on Paine's thigh. "You're not nervous are you? I mean you've done this before."

Paine sighed and took her hand for a moment and then let it go. "I'll be in it when the time comes."

Rikku nodded. "I told Yunie that Tidus would be there tonight."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah she seemed…I don't know what's going on with her lately, well I know, it's just there is nothing I can do. Maybe another ladies night or something?"

Paine laughed. "Maybe."

"So do you want to eat first or go see Gippal first?"

"Well you said you were hungry right? Plus I don't think I'm going to want to eat after seeing him."

"You think it will be that bad?"

Paine shrugged. "It's been a week." She took a sip of her water.

"You talked to him on the phone this morning right?"

"For two seconds, he sounded sleepy."

"Well we'll eat first. We can stop somewhere or…eat at my place or..hm I wonder if that taco place delivers."

"I wanna get a nap in before we leave to see Gippal too."

"Okay so we'll go to mines then." She glanced at Paine. "You feelin' okay?"

"Yeah." Paine drank some more of her water and relaxed back into her car seat. Rikku wasn't driving like a maniac today which was nice.

"I'll stop asking you that if you want."

Paine smiled a little. "I like when you ask me things."

Rikku glanced at her and smiled before looking back to the road. "We need to get you in the sun; you're looking a little pale."

Paine chuckled. "Winter dose that."

"What's the temperature?"

"Huh? Now?"

Rikku shook her head at herself. "It's this thing Yunie and I do, I forgot that I barely knew you this time last year. Whenever it changes to a warmer season Yunie and I set a temperature, and whenever it hits our mark, no matter what we are doing, we drop everything and go to the beach."

"What if you're taking an exam?"

Rikku laughed. "Yunie has made up family emergencies."

"Wow."

"So….what is it?"

Paine stretched a little. "Mmm, seventy six….yeah."

"How do you figure?"

"Well the water has to be at least sixty something, maybe."

"Swimmable."

Paine nodded. "Exactly."

Rikku nodded to herself. "Seventy six…"

##

She climbed onto her bed beside Paine who had yet to fall asleep but had her eyes closed. "So kenmvneaht ec cu bnaddo." She whispered making Paine smile a little. Having her girlfriend's face so close always made Paine want to smile just a little.

"What time is it?"

"A little after one."

"I should get up…"

"No no, rest up. You don't have to get till I say so. We'll make it there on time. Trust me."

Paine settled back down. "So have you heard back from anyone yet?"

Rikku shook her head no. "No, I'm trying not to think about it."

"You can still be my leachy girlfriend."

The blonde laughed. "Thanks, but I'm still going to try and get in somewhere."

"I have no doubt that you will, babe."

Rikku curled a short tassel of Paine's hair. "Aw."

Paine suddenly picked her head up a little. "Have you and Yuna started looking at places…?"

Rikku shook her head no. "I don't think Yunie wants to rush it, and I don't blame her, we'll get there."

"Oh." Paine nodded. "Well I mean, if you guys don't…and you don't wanna live here anymore…" She glanced about the room. Who wouldn't want to live here?

"What?"

"You could always… um…get a place of your own." Paine chickened out. What was she thinking? This was a huge question to ask Rikku, she couldn't just casually bring it up, and besides Paine didn't want to make it seem like she couldn't do something on her own. It was just that ever since Rikku pointed out that their stuff was all over the place Paine had been trying to rationalize it being in one place. With graduation approaching she couldn't help but feel like they needed to make some sort of step in a new direction. She reminded herself that they were still young though, and the step she had in mind would be big enough. Besides maybe Rikku wanted to do other things, and maybe she did too. Paine sighed mentally at herself and laid her head back down on the pillow. Rikku opened her mouth to say something but Paine cut her off. "Nooj has a girlfriend."

"What?"

"That's why he cut his hair, why he's been missing, we figured it out."

Rikku laughed. "Well who is she?"

"Some little tree hugger." Rikku laughed again. "Hope Blossom is her name or something…she's a nudist too."

"You're making that up."

"I swear I'm not."

"Hope Blossom?"

"Something like that."

"She walks around nude?"

"Does she." Paine nodded suggestively. Rikku nudged her and the silver haired woman laughed and rolled onto her back. "I'm just kidding!"

"I don't think you are Paine Kerrigan."

Paine grinned lightly. "I am, I am, we haven't even met her."

"Wait a minute so how do you know she exists?"

"Cause he talked about her the other night and Em says he's acting like me."

"What does that mean?"

"Well I'm the only other person in the house with a girlfriend, apparently I've 'changed'."

Rikku giggled. "For the better."

"I think so."

"The world agrees."

"But uh, thanks." Paine nodded seriously. "For being so…you and stuff lately." She remembered what Martha had said today. "I couldn't have done any of this without you. Um.." Paine blushed a little. She didn't know why, she just did.

Rikku smiled back at her before leaning in for a small kiss. "Don't ever thank me again, I love and you love me and we gotta do things for each other ."

Paine nodded. "We're buddies."

Rikku giggled. "Yeah." She hopped up of the bed so Paine could rest. "Twenty more minutes."

Paine got comfortable. "Okay."

Rikku went downstairs and finished off her lunch. She was really excited about tonight. Even though Paine played it off as nothing major it was actually kind of major. She was so happy for her girl and her cousin. Yuna was doing what she loved to do and it was kind of inspiring when everyone around you started to take positive steps. Rikku finished cleaning up and then went upstairs into the attic. She had been working on this one piece for Yuna's graduation present and she knew that her cousin would just love it once it was finished. Careful not to get her clothes stained Rikku picked up a paintbrush and dabbed it into the murky water she was using earlier before she had to go and pick Paine up.

Paine, she easily consumed Rikku's thoughts. Whether it be her smirk, or her breasts or her devilishly long legs. Usually it was just her though. Just Paine. Her thoughts and her aspirations, her faults and her insecurities. She could honestly say that the last week and a half had been so good for them. Hell the last three months had really put them to the test as a couple; there were times where she was simply at a loss for what to do next. Times where she was angry at herself for not being able to comprehend, times she was angry at Paine for the exact same thing. Rikku definitely felt the pressure to grow up a little. There was a world out there, one where people had problems that just didn't go away, even if she closed her eyes tight and counted to three. She was maturing, and for once Rikku was confident that things were going to begin to smooth out. Paine was doing her part. It was odd though, when she thought about it the people she was closest to she had known her whole life. Paine she had known a few months over a year. It wasn't very long in the grand scheme of things. It was hard to get a grasp on how fast time flew when you were in the thick of it feeling everything there was to feel.

Rikku Bayla a year and a half ago couldn't do anything Rikku Bayla could today.

She was proud of herself, of her girlfriend. Paine always hated when Rikku "focused" on her too much, but what the silver hair beauty didn't realize is that it was by focusing on Paine that Rikku was able to realize a whole lot about herself. It also gave her a chance to change without being afraid. If Paine could do all this then why couldn't she?

Twenty minutes.

"Paine." Rikku called into her shaded room. "We gotta go now." She stepped in and sighed, she really didn't like to wake Paine up for anything. She barely got sleep as it was because of her insomnia reaction to the medication, that, and she looked so damn cute when she was sleeping all cuddly like this. Her strong arms were wrapped around Rikku's pillow and she was holding it close to her chest as if someone would take it away from her once she closed her eyes.

_So much for a badass. _Rikku though with a little laugh. "Pai c'mon, get up." She rocked Paine's shoulder lightly. "Babyyyy."

"Mmph."

"We have to go visit Gippal."

##

"Spread your legs."

"For fucks sake she's wearing a dress." Paine glared at the female officer who was body checking Rikku.

'Paine its fine." Rikku nodded back at her.

"It's just standard procedure Ms. Kerrigan."

Paine crossed her arms. "Yeah yeah."

Once they were cleared Rikku picked up Paine's leather jacket and then grabbed her arm. "C'mon you, before you cause any more trouble with these nice people."

Paine huffed and let herself be tugged along. "Oh yeah their nice now huh?"

Rikku laughed. "You are incorrigible."

##

"Still spend every day feeling like I wanna throw up."

"…That never goes away."

"I didn't know it was this bad."

They fell quiet.

"You almost died P." Gippal examined Paine's profile. "I never saw it like that until I got in here and heard everyone else talking about friends they lost and shit…When it was my turn I couldn't…talk about you like that….I talked about Shu instead." Gippal looked away out onto the serene field of grass that was the Mi'ihen highroad. "All the things they wanted to hear…I fucking hate these meetings."

Paine glanced at him. "It helps."

"How did last Monday go?"

"Besides the New Yevon bull it was actually okay…I mean I didn't say anything of course."

"Of course."

"But I y'know…I guess I get the point of them."

Gippal dipped his hands into his pocket as a chill took over for a moment. Paine watched it pass and waited for him to get used to that queasy feeling. "What's that?"

"People don't like to feel alone." She leaned forward and started to retie her shoe strings. "People…like to feel like they have other people worse off than them, it makes sense really, and there is always someone worse off y'know?"

"Yeah…I guess so."

Paine sat back up and enjoyed the small breeze. "This place is relaxing as fuck." She watched a group a little ways away dressed in light blue shirts were practicing yoga in the sun.

Gippal laughed a little at her. "I sleep all the time yo, it's no good."

Paine chuckled and gave him an encouraging look. "It's gonna be hard."

"Ay what do you know about it?" He teased.

Paine smiled at her best friend. He already seemed lighter if that made any sense. Sure he had lost weight, his hair was cut short void of product or spike, and his usually vibrant green eyes were a bit foggy, but he already seemed lighter, and it was that absences of weight that would help him lift off. "I guess not much, but the whole process, the biology…it's gonna suck."

"I get these night sweats…like I'm drenched when I wake up, and that's if I fall asleep…." Gippal looked away. "So you got this thing where it y'know prolongs healing?"

"PAWS."

"Do you still get night sweats?"

Paine thought about it. "Sometimes."

Gippal rubbed his hands together and tucked them closer to himself, another chill passing him. "And all the other stuff too?" Paine nodded. He looked like he was about to say something serious but he held back. "Shit you better marry that girl for dealing with cleaning up all that." He joked shakily.

Paine laughed a little. "Rikku's alright.. and women don't sweat as heavily as men do, naturally." She added as an afterthought.

Gippal nodded. "I'm happy for you." Paine looked at him then. "I think you should go for it."

_Am I wearing a fucking sign or something?_

They sat there in silence for another ten minutes just watching the high grass in the distance sway, the yoga session had finished and the recoveries had scattered. Paine watched one man in particular. He was sitting under a tree and was staring at something in his hands. A picture maybe? His kids? Or maybe it was scripture verse, maybe it was just a piece of blank paper, but he watched it with such an earnest hope that Paine knew it had to be something of a lost memory.

"Clasko is a dumbass." Gippal broke the silence by saying. "You'll go check on Lap when you have a minute right?"

Paine nodded. "Of course."

##

"Well if it isn't Dr. P and Cid's girl." Elma smiled as she was getting searched while Paine and Rikku were leaving.

Paine smiled. Seeing Elma would cheer Gippal up for sure. "He's all yours—"

"—But we already knew that." Rikku finished.

"Nice." The two exchanged a little high five at their joke.

Elma made a face. "See that's when you know you spend way too much time together."

Paine laughed. "See you at Wakka's?"

"For sure."

"Did you see how pretty she looked?" Rikku nudged Paine in the ribs as they walked through the parking lot. "I wonder if they have conjugal visits in rehab."

Paine laughed and put her arm around Rikku's shoulders. "Elma wouldn't do that."

"Aw Pai, you think they are gonna get together?"

Paine shrugged. "That's dependent on a lot of things."

"Well I mean did Gippal say anything?"

Paine chuckled. "We should mind our own business."

"He did! He did say something!" Rikku grabbed onto Paine's jacket.

"No don't do that, I can't tell you."

"What do you mean you can't tell me?"

"Exactly what I said."

"Is this one of those Bro's before Hoe's things?"

Paine laughed and kissed her on the side of the forehead. "You really need to stop watching so much TV."

Rikku wrapped her arm around Paine's waist as they walked. "Well if my girlfriend would pay more attention to me…."

Paine laughed. "Maybe if my girlfriend wasn't so high maintenance…."

"Well maybe if my girlfriend weren't such a meanie."

"Well maybe if my girlfriend weren't so sensitive."

Rikku looked up at her from her side. "I am not sensitive!"

Paine only laughed as they continued to walk. "He seems better than I thought he would."

Rikku nodded adjusting quickly to the shift. "Yeah, I like his hair like that."

"He wore it short like that when we were little."

"I mean, he had more time then you did y'know? You just quit cold chocobo. "

Paine nodded. "He's slowed down but it never really stops unless he does something like this…" She thought moment. "He won't tell me why, but do you think that matters?"

Rikku shook her head no. "Maybe it was just his time."

"Maybe."

##

Rikku swore her heart was going to burst at how cute Vidina looked. "Where in Spira did you find a bowtie that small!"

Wakka chuckled as he fixed his suit jacket. "Lu made it, it's cute ya?"

Rikku put her glass of juice down and adjusted it for him. "Oh my goodness." She pulled out her phone to send a picture to Paine and Yuna. Little Vidina was wearing a tux onesie with a bowtie and everything. His hair was even slicked and styled just like Wakka's was.

"He's gonna get all the babes for sure." Tidus nodded.

"Dat's right, y'know why right? Cause he's a D'Autry. We always get all the babes."

"Excuse me?" Lulu asked as she entered the room in her deep purple evening gown. "What babes are you getting Wakka?"

Wakka sheepishly looked around. "Uh…"

Lulu shook her head at him and he smiled charmingly back at her. He was lucky he looked so handsome in a suit Lulu reasoned. "Are we all set to go?" She asked making sure she had everything in her clutch. "Wakka bring the diaper bag please."

"You got it." Wakka went into their room and came out with a black diaper bag. He didn't understand why they needed two, one for the day and one for the night, but it worked with his suit he supposed.

"I'll hold him." Tidus said picking up Vidina's little car seat that he was in.

Rikku crossed her arms. "Fine."

Tidus sighed. "Are you going to be mad at me forever?"

"Just about, yeah." Rikku nodded pretty sure that at the moment she was supposed to be upset with Tidus. At least this was until Yuna gave her instruction not to be. She walked off to help Lulu with something leaving the boys in the living room.

"You mess wit one of dem, you mess wit all of dem." Wakka nodded.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Tidus sighed and looked down at Vidina.

"Don't matter brudda."

"Thanks for inviting me over tonight, but you know I'll probably just head home after saying hi to Dr. P."

"What? Nah what about the game?"

"I DVR'd it too." Tidus looked into the kitchen where Lulu and Rikku were talking. "Lulu doesn't want me here."

"Aye stop dat, she doesn't really mind you."

Tidus laughed a little. "Yeah well if it's Yuna or me I think she's going to go with Yuna."

"Yuh Viddy's god father too, I wasn't just the one to decide on that. Lulu said she liked you."

"Yeah, this was before I broke up with Yuna and ruined everyone's plans." Tidus said growing a little frustrated. "She won't even look at me, Wakka. I see her all the time at school now and she won't even look at me."

"Well I don't know what you were expecting."

Tidus shrugged. "I don't know either."

"She's hurt ya? But give her time."

"Well I have until the end of June."

Wakka turned to the kitchen. "We gonna get the car ready!" Lulu nodded from a distance. "C'mon ya?" Wakka motioned to the door after picking up the diaper bag. Tidus grabbed his suit jacket that was still on a hanger in one hand and Vidina's seat in the other. They took the elevator in silence and made it to the first floor. That's when Wakka decided to say something. "So what's your plan?"

"What's my plan?"

"For Yuna."

Tidus sighed as they walked out into the parking lot. "There is no plan man, she wasn't happy with me."

"Dat's where yuh wrong."

"What do you know anyway man?"

"I'm engaged to her best friend brudda, I know a lot about a lot." Wakka nodded as he approached Lulu's black car. It was a lot more spacious than his old beat up sedan. He was glad the blitz deal went through and they wouldn't have to sell it after all. He pressed the unlock button and opened the back seat to situate Vidina in the middle seat. "You gonna go over there and get tail thrown at you left and right, I ain't gonna judge you if you take advantage of it, I'm just saying."

"What exactly?"

"If you love her, you know what to do." Wakka said as he took Vidina and his seat from Tidus and began to hook him in. "I know buddy, yuh don't like this thing, but you wanna be safe right?" Wakka tried to ease the newborn down, he hated being clicked into the car.

Tidus put his hands in his suit pockets. "Should I ask her to marry me?"

Wakka hit his head on the roof of the car when he heard that. "What!? You just broke up wit her!" Vidina began to fuss. "Aye sorry, daddy's sorry for yelling, it's just dat yuh Tidus here is a moron."

Tidus sighed at Vidina's giggling. "Don't tell him that."

Wakka stood from out of the car and sighed. "Look you jumped the gun and made a mistake, just tell her that, women like to hear that we have faults, especially in a heterobinary society where we're said to be superior. I can't make a baby wit my body; I know dat brudda, can you? No, so we gotta just admit when stuff goes wrong."

Tidus raised an eyebrow

Wakka shrugged. "Gotta take one more humanities class to graduate on time…pretty interesting stuff ya?"

The blonde shook his head. "You forgot the part where she doesn't look at me, that kinda means she doesn't talk to me too. How am I supposed to tell her that I've been a total butt?"

"Send her a text."

"Send her a….what?" How come he didn't think of that before?

Wakka shrugged. "Lu got pregnant, so I never go the chance to apologize for the stuff that I did the right way. We just kinda…skipped that, we had to. So you can skip that if you want and leave like you planned or talk to her about it and leave like you should."

##

"Shaw!"

Yuna tripped over herself. "Coming coming!"

"Why on Spira are these over here! This is for the third not the fourth! Do I need to fire again?"

"No no no I've got it."

Paine shook her head with a little laugh as someone pocked high end make up onto her lower back.

Yuna was getting her ass handed to her and for some reason she found it very amusing. Her girlfriend's cousin was usually so in charge, put together and so…well, Yuna. Right now she resembled something akin to a crazy person. She had been here since nine in the morning and it showed. Her usually well kept brown hair was in a messy bun, her long brain coiled up to secure it, and she was sweating, like a lot. Paine went to get her a water bottle at one point but one of the thin nosed bitches she worked with kindly informed her that those waters were only for models not the help.

Well little did they know Yuna was training to be their boss.

The show was set to start at six for the spring collection from Shark and Muli Fashions; a friend of the modeling agencies owners. Paine was briefly introduced to them during one of her fittings. They seemed nice enough to be fashion designers Paine supposed. They had a little dog that reminded her of Ifrit. Paine wondered what else she could be doing right now. As a person who was seldom stationary she really didn't like sitting around for too long. She checked her phone to see if she missed a call, but nothing.

_Flashback_

"_You always do things so last minute Paine!"_

_Paine rolled her eyes. "Rikku."_

"_Okay okay so not all the time, I don't understand you sometimes though. First you're all 'oh I don't know, I'm doing it on my own time.' Then you're all 'Okay yeah', pid drah oui zicd lryhka ouin seht ykyeh!" _

_She was getting yelled at; it was okay though because Rikku was walking around her room in her underwear looking for something to wear. _

"_Ed'c veha frah fa'na dymgehk ypuid fryd du ayd vun tehhan un fryd oui fyhd du tu vun dra tyo, veha, pid frah oui haat du ehjeda cusauha du cusadrehk oui keja dras desa, huf ev cra lyh'd lusa oui'na kuhhy pa ymm lnyhgo..."_

_Paine sighed. "Well I'm going to call now so….shut up." _

_Rikku rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Fydlr ed,"_

_Paine gave her a little smile to show that she was just being playful. _

_The dial tone dragged on and on until finally Paine got Keira's voicemail. She tried to ignore the "I told you so" look on Rikku's face as she began to talk. "Keira Hi, its Paine. So I know this is last minute…very last minute, but um I have this show tonight, the new job? It's um..well I'm walking as a model for some spring collection or whatever. It's at the Portland arena at six and I thought about we were saying about trying and…you can come if you want. Bye."_

"_You can come if you want?"_

"_Ri—"_

"_Really!?"_

_End Flashback _

Keira hadn't called back or texted or anything and Rikku was right, Paine was getting cranky.

_I don't get cranky…_

The word just reminded Paine of an old person somehow. Old people got cranky when they couldn't watch their shows. Paine preferred the word irritated. She was getting just a little irritated. She had no reason to be irritated though, it was just what she was feeling. It could have also been because of the lady and her cold hands poking at Paine's scar with a cue tip.

"Shaw!"

"Coming! I'm coming!"

##

"Just leave it Wakka."

"Aye Lu, it's buggin' him. Let's just take it off."

"Then he won't be in dress code."

"He's a baby!"

"My son will learn these things from small so he doesn't end up like his father complaining about itchy suits all the time."

"Oh ya, well maybe if they weren't made out of itchy material—"

"You guys shush, it's starting." Rikku whispered at the two. She turned to her left at Baralai who was being the perfect date as always and waiting quietly. He cleaned up so well and had this formal tact that reminded Rikku so much of her uncle. It always tickled her that he and Paine had been something at some point. Baralai Montgomery was a good guy, and she was glad they had become friends. "You think that she made it?"

"Paine?" Lai asked.

"No no Keira." Rikku began to look around in the steadily increasing darkness. "I have no idea if she made it, I know Paine's gonna be wondering if she did…"

"Too late to tell now." Lai motioned to the illuminated catwalk and Rikku faced forward in her seat.

##

Rikku's eyes grew wide and she was pretty sure she were drooling just a little bit. "Oh my god that's my girlfriend." It was Paine's final walk and they were doing swimsuits slash shawls; a little play on winter turning to spring and wow did these chicks have some amazing bodies. Rikku was basically gawking at Paine though. I mean she kissed that body, she snuggled it and she caressed it and she was good to that body, so why did it seem so mysterious up there? The blonde grinned at the realization that all these people were staring at something only she could touch. As Paine turned to head back down the catwalk with her exaggerated badass walk Rikku made her conclusions.

She was tapping that tonight for sure.

##

Paine wiped at her face with a rough wash cloth. It was the only kind to be able to get the expensive foundation off. She had already gently rubbed off the makeup on her back and was now covered in a plain gray Judo work out top. She had washed her hair and slicked it back all the while ignoring her reflection in the mirror. She had just wiped off the last makeup and then stared down at the check in front of her. It was definitely a lot more than she was expecting, the night had went well enough aside from the bright bright lights and her extremely sore feet to make this kind of check doable in the future. Still, that wasn't what was really bothering her. Paine was sure she was just in one of her moods, but she couldn't help but feel just a little like a sellout. The door knocked to the private room all the models were given after such a long night of exposure. "Come in."

"Pypo!"

Paine smiled to herself before turning to greet her girlfriend. She was momentarily stopped by how gorgeous she looked in her caramel colored dress. It was almost the color of her skin and brought out her spirally green eyes. "Wow Rikks."

Rikku waved her off before hugging her tightly. "You were so great! I brought you flowers, see?" She motioned with her chin to her full hands.

Paine smiled and took the purple and white flowers after their hug. "I almost tripped toward the end."

"No one noticed." She assured her smiling all the while like a little kid. 

Paine nodded and then looked down at the flowers. "You didn't have to get me flowers, babe."

Paine never knew how to take Rikku doing things like opening doors for her and giving her flowers. It was cute how she shied up like this. "Course I did, my pretty girl gets pretty flowers."

Paine leaned down and pressed a kiss onto her waiting lips. "Thanks."

Rikku nodded and rubbed at Paine's arm. "How much longer do you need to stay here? Yunie was saying she'd show up after they were done breaking down and everything. We can wait with her and go over with Lai, he drove here."

Paine nodded. "We can wait for her, if you'd like. I'm done here."

Rikku nodded and sent Paine a little smirk. "Un fa lyh zicd ku rusa..."

"Mm." Paine chuckled and wrapped her arm around Rikku's waist. Nothing but mischief playing in her auburn eyes when she realized they were very much a lone. "C'mere."

##

"Back here?" Keira asked.

Yuna nodded. "Paine yes."

Keira nodded. "Thank you, uh.." She recognized the young woman but had yet to learn her name.

"Oh!" Yuna shook her head at herself and outstretched a make-up stained hand. "Yuna Shaw, Rikku and I are cousins."

Keira smiled. "Nice to meet you Yuna, this was amazing tonight. I almost didn't make it on time."

Yuna smiled. "All in a day's work. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you." Keira turned back down the hall of tiny changing rooms for the models. Paine was the second on the right. She took a second to compose herself and then knocked.

There was some muffled noises then a very distinctly Paine voice. "Fuck off!"

"Paine." Another lighter voice scolded quietly.

"What? We're busy…." Some more noises were made. "Lai go away!"

"Bid ouin crend pylg uh, lnywo."

Paine came to the door a second later in nothing but her bra and her jeans. "I'll be out soon so chill ou—" She paused when she noticed she wasn't talking to Baralai, but her mother.

Keira raised an eyebrow. "I made it."

Paine's face paled a little before turning red. Keira wanted to laugh but as Rikku pushed her way out of the room with a darker blush she decided not to. "Hi. Bye." She mumbled before scurrying down the hall. Paine glanced down after her but then looked back to Keira.

**AN: So…. Thoughts? :)**

**KathleenDee**


	52. Chapter 52

**AN: To my reviewers that don't have accounts so I can reply and tell them how awesome they are…**

**Silver: MY 300th REVIEWER! I'm so glad you continue to read, I'm even happier that you noticed the Metric reference, I'm kinda in love with that band and maybe it's projecting but I think Paine would be too :)**

**Rykk: Yay for Vidina! Lol he's so damn cute in my opinion, I'm glad you like reading his little moments. There will be plenty to come. I also love getting you're reviews, they make me smile. **

**Co1121: I try and keep a little fluff in here from time to time, something tells me you're going to like this chapter..at least a little bit anyway. lol Thanks for reviewing!**

**Ahhh I almost forgot TK and Daisy Cult, you guys have been there from the very beginning and it means so much that you continue to read.  
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**This chapter is a little long to make up for my recent irregularity in update timing. Really really really hope you like it. R&R**

**KathleenDee**

**Chapter Fifty Two**

"Come in." Paine nodded quickly and opened the door wider as she ducked back into the small room. She quickly reached to the floor to grab the lacy panties that Rikku had forgotten in her hurry. As her blush deepened she slipped them into her back pocket and then played as though she was looking for her shirt.

"I didn't mean to interrupt…" The vanity was the first thing Keira noticed while stepping in the room and closing the door behind her. The area had been forcibly cleared and there were a number of bottles, capsules, and make up brushes on the floor before it. She didn't know why but she began to blush now too.

"Yeah um…" Paine still hadn't turned to look at her as she tried to control the color of her face and locate the shirt Rikku had flung off of her. "You didn't….it's fine." To say she didn't interrupt would have been a lie, one too obvious Paine didn't even bother keeping up.

She had told her mother to fuck off for Yevon's sake. "Sorry about um…"

They still hadn't turned to look at one another. "No no, you obviously thought I was someone else I'm sure." How on Spira was she supposed to respond to this? Paine continued to look for her shirt and that's when Keira noticed her lower back. The area of pale skin had a scar the length of a pen and the skin around it was pink with irritation. "That looks recent."

Paine turned and slipped her gray judo shirt back on. "What does?"

"The scar on your back." She sat and took her bag off her shoulder now that they were finally making eye contact.

"Oh." Paine shrugged lightly. "Happened over the summer.""

"What happened?"

Paine sat across from Keira on another chair. "I…y'know." She didn't want to make this visit about her getting shot. "You got my message."

Keira let her redirect the conversation. "I did, I'm glad you invited me, the show was beautiful, you did so well." A small smile pulled at her cheeks.

Paine sat up a little straighter, her words were soft and sincere, an innate cause for alarm in the younger woman. "Thanks."

"I almost didn't come." She admitted.

"Because it was so last minute?"

Keira nodded slowly. "You just made me wonder."

"Why I invited you?" Paine ran a hand through her hair in thought. "I was thinking that since I went to your first show then that it would be okay if you came to mine."

"Is it okay?"

Paine nodded truthfully. "We email and stuff, but we don't say anything."

Keira was glad Paine was bringing it up, she didn't have the slightest clue about Paine's core personality, and she didn't know how she would take it. "I know."

"So…." Paine waited for something to happen, she didn't know hat but she was waiting because the woman across from her scared her to death. She had no idea of what to ask of her, what to expect, and even though they were trying to build something Paine had no idea what tools to use. "Rikku was telling me the other day that her father found a bunch of baby pictures of her…"

"Oh?" Keira perked up at the start of a conversation though a bit confused about the direction.

"To be honest I couldn't picture her as a toddler till I saw some, made me wonder how I acted, y'know? As a baby."

Keira tried not to smile to wide. "I remember getting you and holding you for the first time. You just sort of looked up at me curiously. You didn't really cry until you learned that I was a source of food." She laughed a little. "You were curious about everything." She hesitated. "Would you like to see?"

Paine raised an eyebrow. "See what?"

Keira had already started going through her purse searching for her pocketbook. "You. I thinks this is nine months." She retrieved the small wrinkled picture and hesitated again before handing it to Paine. Even now when the real thing was right before her, parting with what had been with her for twenty ones years had been hard.

Paine waited before taking the small picture, she laughed a little. "Holy fuck." It was hard to see proof of a time she had convinced herself never existed.

Keira nodded and an awkward silence began to coat the room. Keira stood. "I came to congratulate you and show you that I'm here." She didn't want to force anything. The invitation was enough of a start and she didn't want to ruin it by stepping over boundaries. Their conversation in The Grand Sphere Theatre taught her that Paine had many.

Paine stood and handed her the picture of her back, an unfamiliar emotion passing her. "Right yeah, you probably have something to go back to or…" Paine nodded again. "I um, was going to go downtown next week for um, to check this health center out—"

"Is everything okay?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, no I'm a Physical Therapy major….I was going to look for work."

Keira nodded quickly at Paine. "Oh, right, wow that's great." She looked to be in shape, her toned stomach and arms said so at least, and then the thought of her doing Judo crossed Keira's mind.

Paine shifted. "Well I wanted to see if you were available to maybe have coffee or something to eat…maybe."

Keira smiled. "I would really like that, certainly."

"Cool." Paine nodded and slipped her hands into her pockets. "I'll let you know."

Keira moved toward the door. "Preferably a day in advance." She joked.

Paine nodded. "Okay."

They paused and looked at one another. "Take care." Keira smiled before leaving.

"Yeah…" The door closed and she was left alone. "Take care."

##

"Yeah!" The room cheered. Wakka laughed and moved from behind the TV and accidently stubbed the faulty wiring with his foot and the picture went out. "No!"

"Move from behind there." Lulu pushed on his big shoulder while shaking her head.

"Aye Lu I had it under control ya?"

"No you didn't man, sit down." Tidus laughed a little.

"How about now?" Lulu asked after messing with a few wires.

"Perfect Lulu." Yuna nodded, she was holding a class of red wine in her hand and avoiding the opposite side of the room like it was her job.

"Yeah this looks good." Lai nodded, he was in control of the remote since Wakka lost rights over that as well.

"Anyone want a beer ya?" He asked the room in a defeated manner causing Paine to laugh and get up where she was sitting beside Rikku.

"You'll need help opening it." She teased as they disappeared into the kitchen.

Everyone was finally over and was sitting down to watch the recorded blitzball scrimmage in the small living room. They were all dressed down and comfortably, the men were still in their suit pants but now had undershirts and the women had changed entirely. Little Vidina was knocked out cold and sleeping soundly. Lulu chalked it up to all the excitement of the day, her little guy was so exhausted he had fallen asleep while she breast fed him dinner. Every now and then she'd poke her head into their room to check on him the last time she did she caught Paine and Wakka talking quietly over his little crib. He was going to end up like his father, Lulu realized with a mixture of amusement and acute worry; no one could wake Wakka up, not even Sin itself.

"You know that you are really nosey." Elma laughed after taking a sip of her beer.

Rikku shrugged. "Girl's gotta know things y'know."

"I don't remember you being this nosey." She thought about it for a moment, her thoughts facilitated by prodding her beer bottle lip to her own lip. "I like it." She concluded. "Maybe you can help me understand something…."

"You okay to drink?" Wakka asked as he handed Paine a beer.

She nodded. "Two beers, no more, no less. Em's orders."

"She is a doctor after all ya?"

"Soon enough, yeah."

"Went to see Gippal yesterday." Wakka said as he popped some dip into the microwave and munched on a chip. "He looks bad."

Paine nodded as she opened her beer and then went to get a glass for the other cold brew sitting beside her bottle. Wakka always had had a great taste when choosing artisanal beers; she knew Rikku would like this one just by one sip. "He lost some weight, but he doesn't seem…y'know mentally battered."

Wakka nodded reaching for another chip. "Kinda missin' him being here and stuff…say, where the hell is Nooj?" The microwave went off and Wakka reached for the bowl carefully.

Paine laughed as she tilted the glass at an angle to pour the second beer. "Hope Blossom."

"Hope? I thought her name was Rose Blossom?" Wakka laughed. The two joked all the way back into the living room.

Rikku and Elma looked up from their shushed conversation at the soon to be siblings in law. "Princess." Paine smiled as she handed the glass to Rikku who smiled wildly at the reference of their first actually hanging out off campus. It was lost by everyone else though. "Pypo." She sighed and patted the small area on the couch beside her. "C'mere." Paine blushed heavily as Rikku pecked her lips in front of everyone. "She's so sweet."

"Yeah, so sweet." Lai teased in Rikku's light voice.

"Shut up." Paine darted a glare his way before looking back at Elma who was grinning like a fox. She made a mental note to keep her girlfriend away from Elma Mennichey. They looked too guilty sitting next to one another talking all quiet like.

"I remember when Paine was scared of you." Elma motioned her bottle to Rikku.

"Em." Paine warned but it was too late, the blonde's interest was already peeked.

Rikku wrapped an arm around Paine's shoulder to silence her gently. "You were scared of me Pypo?"

"Was she." Lai added with a laugh.

"Yeah whatever." Paine mumbled as she reached for a chip to dip in the cheese spread that Wakka made. She hadn't eaten since she and Rikku had tacos for lunch, and that was a long time ago.

Across the room Lulu and Yuna were talking amongst themselves about the show and not the elephant in the room that was Tidus. "…The colors just looked so well thought out, you know I was considering doing some stage alteration to enhance the green and the blues."

"You mean messing with the white lights? Can we do that?" Yuna asked looking a little excited even for the near twenty four hour shift she pulled today.

Tidus didn't care; he still thought she looked beautiful.

"You're staring brudda." Wakka reminded.

Tidus sighed and shook his head. "How can I not?"

"Easy, don't look at her."

Tidus checked the time on his waterproof watch Yuna had gotten him for one of their anniversaries. "How can you not look at Lulu? How can y'know Paine not look at Rikku, its impossible man." Wakka could see he was getting worked up. "I texted her and she ignored it."

"She was working all day."

"Yeah but look, she's not working now and it's just…yknow it's messed up!" Everyone turned and looked at the two. Wakka put his beer down and pulled Tidus outside by the shoulder.

Yuna glanced back at Lulu. "He texted me today."

Lulu nodded slowly. "What did it say?"

"It said that he loved me, and couldn't stand the way things were between us."

Lulu read her friend. "But that isn't enough…"

"Throughout all of this Lulu he hasn't once said to me that he realizes why I don't want to go to Zanarkand."

Lulu placed the baby monitor she was holding down on the counter top and reached for Yuna's wine to take a sip. "Is that what you are waiting for?"

Yuna sighed. "I just want him to acknowledge that I am a person and I was before and I am after. I love him dearly it's just that…he can't even understand that I'm….me." Yuna seemed to get a little emotional but then chuckled lightly when Lulu rested her glass back and motioned to it for her.

"Why don't you go out there and tell Wakka to come back inside." Lulu nodded when Yuna seemed apprehensive. "That, or you go home, get some rest, and then call him tomorrow. You can't think he knows what you're thinking; hell we can't even know that he is in fact thinking at all. I never could tell with him."

Yuna chuckled softly and took a final sip of her wine "Thank you for inviting me. Send my love to Vidina?"

Lulu nodded. "Always."

Yuna rested a hand on Lulu's before going over to her four friends on the couch. She leaned down and kissed the crown of her cousins' head before resting a hand on Paine's shoulder. "I told you you'd like it."

"Are you leaving?" Paine asked.

"Yeah, I will see you all later. Elma, it was nice to see you again."

Elma winked. "Likewise Yunalesca."

Yuna gave a sort of tired chuckle and Rikku raised an eyebrow and gave Paine a look.

"I'll tell you later." Paine said quietly.

Rikku looked up at her cousin. "You'll call me right?"

Yuna nodded. "Of course."

"Kay, I'll text you to remember."

Yuna nodded with amusement as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door. Outside she ran into Wakka and Tidus talking quietly. "Goodnight," She called down the well lit hall.

"You leavin'?" Wakka called back and Yuna nodded. "Alright drive safe ya?" He looked to Tidus and nudged him.

"Goodnight Yuna." He called nervously. He suddenly got an idea and put two fingers in his mouth to send her a little whistle.

Yuna's heart leapt at the action and it actually brought a small smile to her face. She moved her finger to her lips but then sighed. "Goodnight." It was barely a whisper and it caused his forehead to wrinkle a little.

##

"Go…"

"He ain't gonna do it."

"Go…"

Wakka shook his head. "Nah."

Rikku jumped up from Paine's lap with an adorable look of encouragement on her face as she clenched her fist and shook it at the tv. "Go…go!"

Wakka sat up and grabbed at his hair. "Holy…he's gonna do it!"

Baralai glanced at Lulu who seemed so used to this that she looked bored, then to Paine who wore a slightly worried yet extremely amused expression on her face, and then Elma who was somewhere in the middle.

Sure he loved Blitz but they already knew who would win the game. Rikku had only two beers and Wakka had had one. What was the reason for all the dramatics? Wakka looked like he was going to faint and Rikku looked like she was going to pee herself or something.

"Two bucks says he makes it." Rikku began to bite on her collar nervously as she jumped from leg to leg.

"No he's got some balls ya? But look how far he is from duh goal, he's gonna run into somebody." Wakka was a very logical blitzballer, it's what made him so good.

Rikku turned to look at Lulu. "Are you sure you're going to marry a man?"

Elma, Paine, and Lai laughed hysterically. Even Lulu chuckled.

"Aye five bucks it is den ya? Watch!" Wakka outstretched his hand to the feisty young woman beside him.

Rikku slapped his hand to signify that the deal was set in stone and continued to watch one of the blitzers on the Abes charge down the sphere with ease. When he dodged a Kilika Beast and made what would be known as the winning goal Rikku jumped around Wakka like she had made it herself. "In your face yuh big butter ball!" She did her brother's little victory dance as Wakka sat back down.

"Aye you know what Dr. P. Dat girl of yours talks a lot of trash I know she can't back up for real huh?"

She chuckled as the bouncy Al Bhed sat back on her lap. Paine put one arm around her. "Ah I don't know, she _is_ Kirill Bayla's little sister."

"That's right, tell him Pypo, tell him." Rikku reached for Paine's beer and took a little sip before putting it down.

Baralai was laughing. "I'm sensing a challenge."

"Yeah do it, I can blitz harder than all you shoopufs."

Elma chuckled. "So when and where, I have to clear room in my schedule." This was just too good to miss.

"Wakka shouldn't be playing outside of the sphere, he's on contract and if he were to get hurt—"

"You mean his feelings? If those were to get hurt?" Rikku jested. "Y'know what Tubbs? Keep that five bucks to buy the extra soft tissues you'll need when I'm done."

"Aye Lu leave it. She wants a match she's got a match. I never back down." Lulu gave him a look that he chose to ignore. "You're on munchkin." He pointed at Rikku and narrowed his eyes.

"Munchkin!?"

Paine laughed and held her closer.

##

"But I wanna drive Paine, please. Lai tell her to let me drive." Rikku begged as her girlfriend took her keys. She wasn't drunk, but Paine knew she was in the mood to take some chances and on a Saturday night Paine didn't like their odds.

The four friends were on the street outside of the D'Autry apartment around one in the morning.

"Sorry Rikku Paine looks as sober as a priest." Lai laughed and looked over to Elma. "Did you park far? I'll walk you."

Elma smiled. "Paine how come you never introduced me to your gentleman friend?"

Paine laughed a little and Lai blushed in the dark. "Because."

Elma smiled and waved to the two as she and Baralai began walking down in the opposite direction. "Night guys!" Rikku called as she climbed into the passenger seat of her car.

"Watch your hands." Paine warned before closing the door and going around to the driver's seat. She got in and the two glanced at each other for a moment.

"Pypo?" Rikku asked a she stared into her girlfriend's warm eyes.

"Hm?"

"You looked so pretty tonight, I mean you look pretty every day but…"

Paine shied up a little. "Thanks, babe."

"No I mean it, you were stunning."

Paine rested her left hand on the steering wheel as she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently against Rikku's. She could feel the shorter woman rest her right hand on her cheek and kiss her back just as gently. Paine sighed contently which made Rikku smile into the kiss. There were kisses with Paine, which were great and individually appreciated but moments like this when she could just know what she was thinking? When Paine closed her eyes first, these were the best ones in Rikku's opinion.

The two pulled away slowly and gazed at one another. "Having you there meant a lot." Paine admitted.

"Wild chocobo couldn't stop me." Rikku whispered with her hand still on Paine's cheek. They shared another soft kiss.

"You ready to go _Munchkin_?" Paine pulled away and began adjusting the mirrors from Rikku's preferences.

"Hey! No no no, Me Princess, me no Munchkin."

Paine smiled as she put on her seatbelt. "Whatever you say."

"That's right." Rikku crossed her arms playfully but then pulled her left hand away to yawn. She stretched out a little and sighed.

"Sleepy?"

Rikku nodded. "Super sleepy."

"I'll have you home in fifteen." Paine nodded and checked the time and then began to pull out of the parallel parked spot Rikku had snagged earlier in the day.

Rikku curled up and looked out her passenger window. She smiled to herself as she felt Paine rub her back gently at a red light. Her smile left as Paine's hand returned to the steering wheel. Rikku closed her eyes and yawned again.

Paine smiled at the woman to her right. She sighed lightly at herself. Her chest was tight as it always was when she was around the blonde. She just felt like smiling for no reason, and her thoughts were always happy or on their way there. She was her sunshine. Paine realized a long time ago that she'd move mountains for her smile, even before she realized she liked her. She knew she was doing the right thing and no matter how hard it was she wasn't going to give up.

Paine watched the city pass by them as she drove. Soon enough the street got clearer and she was driving up the small road that winded through The Heights. She pulled up to the side of Cid and Leblanc's cars. The house was quiet but the porch light was on. Paine got out the car and went to the front door to open it and then went back to get Rikku out. She unbuckled her girlfriend's seat belt and uncrossed her legs before gently picking her up bridal style and closing the car door with her foot. Rikku instinctively put her hands around Paine's neck and rested her head against her left shoulder.

Carrying Rikku up the stairs like this reminded Paine of when Kirill caught them making out that one night. It made her chuckle a little which made the blonde in her arms mumble something in her sleep.

Cid had gotten up at the noise on the stairs and glanced down the hall where Rikku's room door was being opened with Paine's knee. His daughter was curled up in her arms fast asleep. Realizing that it was just Paine and Rikku returning he turned back and got back into bed beside Leblanc. His throat was scratchy and his eyes watery; he wasn't getting much sleep and had been up worrying after the two young adults. Now that they were home he could at least rest a bit easier.

Paine placed Rikku on the bed before taking off her shoes and then Rikku's boots. Rikku turned in her sleep making Paine's job to help her out of her pants a little harder. "C'mon don't fight me." Paine said quietly as Rikku groaned in annoyance. Once her pants were off Paine raised her brows and laughed at the trimmed dark blonde peach fuzz. "Fuck baby." She dipped into her back pocket and pulled out Rikku's panties completely forgetting their exchange in her dressing room. Paine stood there for a moment battling herself; she eventually decided to let her girlfriend sleep and reached her drawer to find some shorts for her. After Rikku was tucked in Paine took a very cold shower. She exited the shower and dried her hair roughly with a towel Rikku put out for her and then stared at herself in the mirror for a second. She winced as a sudden queasiness passed through her. She wondered if Gippal were okay just then. It was late enough in the night were all their demons left their hiding places and haunted them. Paine drank a handful of water and kept it in her mouth as she left the bathroom in search for her jeans. In the other back pocket she pulled out her medication and took one of the little pills and then swallowed the water. She sighed and glanced back at Rikku lying fast asleep all curled up. She folded her jeans before placing the medication travel container on the dresser. She changed into some shorts and then pulled a tank top on and turned off the light in the bathroom before getting into bed beside Rikku. She didn't spoon her like she had planned, she just lied there waiting.

Sometime in the early morning Rikku woke and turned she opened her eyes when the warmth she was looking for wasn't there. She sat up at the overturned sheets beside her. A frown pressed her features when she heard coughing coming from her bathroom. She got up quickly and then slowed at the closed door before rapped on it once. "Pypo?"

Paine sighed. "Hold on Rikks." She wiped her mouth and then washed it out before opening the door. "Here." She stepped out of the bathroom for Rikku to go in.

Rikku followed her with her eyes and then turned to face her. "You okay?"

Paine nodded. "Just a bad night."

"Do you need me to get you some water? Tea?" Paine shook her head no. "I'll go make some tea." She nodded and glanced down at herself to make sure she was decent enough for downstairs. "I'll be right back." Paine watched her go and sat on the edge of the bed and sighed at herself.

Rikku wasn't expecting anyone else to be awake at this time, yet the kitchen light was on. "Oh." Rikku gave Leblanc a somewhat apologetic little smile.

"Your father is congested." Leblanc hugged her robe closer to herself.

Rikku nodded as she moved to start up a little pot of what she liked to call Sleepy Time Tea. It was really just chamomile with herbs, bark and a pinch of clove, Paine always made a fuss about drinking it but within a few minutes she'd be out like a light. Leblanc watched Rikku rub at her eyes as she started gathering ingredients. "Pop likes that aloe tea when he—"

"I know."

Rikku paused and looked over at her, things had been different between them lately; she sent her a little smile. "I forgot that you loved him or something."

"Or something." Leblanc nodded. She watched as the blonde pulled out a tea pot and dropped a mint leaf in it, then a few twigs from a container in the cupboard. "How was the show tonight?" She tried.

Rikku glanced at her as she worked at scrapping at a chunk of clove. "It was nice, Paine did so well."

"Good."

Rikku glanced over her shoulder when she realized the attempt at conversation. "She uh, wore this wrap around dress first. It was a dark teal…I want to see if I can find it, Paine isn't exactly my size in dresses or else she said she would have taken it for me."

"The perks of dating a model."

Rikku nodded. "I'm gonna ask her to shrink a little so we can wear the same size." She joked. Rikku went back to dropping a peppercorn into the empty tea pot, and then began looking through the cabinets to find the loose leaf tea.

"Right here." Leblanc motioned to the container beside her.

"Thanks."

"Can't sleep?"

"Oh no." Rikku shook her head lightly as she shook the box so some tea would fall into the pot. "Paine has—" She stopped herself. "She can't sleep either." She knew Leblanc didn't have to look too far to find out what was going on with Paine but she knew how her girlfriend felt about even her knowing so she decided to respect that.

Leblanc watched Tahla Bayla's little clone move about the kitchen until her own tea was finished she passed by offering a goodnight and getting a preoccupied one in return as she left the kitchen.

Two cups of tea later and Paine felt her eye lids growing heavy. Rikku ran her hand through her girlfriend's hair and just knew she was falling asleep. After ten more minutes of the same action of running her hand through her hair affectionately Rikku finally lifted Paine's head from her lap and placed it on a pillow before leaning over to turn off her nightstand lamp and wrapping an arm around Paine's lower back before closing her own eyes and resting her nose against her shoulder.

##

"Ugh Paine!"

Paine looked up at Rikku sheepishly. "What? I'm hungry."

Rikku stood at the open door of the driver's seat looking into her car at her girlfriend who was munching on a bag of peanut m&ms. She sighed and got into the car. "We are literally on our way to get breakfast." They had stopped at a little gas station so Rikku could fill her car up.

"I felt like having these." Paine shrugged "I don't see the big deal."

"Really? You don't?" Rikku shook her head and had to laugh a little and let it go.

"I'll have…mm a spinach egg white omelet if you're worried about vitamins."

"Why am I the only one that's worried?"

Paine shrugged. She had an amazing nights rest after drinking that gross concoction and was in a really good mood for some reason. Rikku could tell and it made her happy that she could make Paine happy.

Paine let a yellow and orange m&m fall into her hands from the bag. She thought for a second and then rested them on Rikku's lap while she drove. Rikku glanced down and smiled before picking them up and popping them into her mouth. "You're a sweet bad influence you know that?" She glanced through her sunglasses at Paine.

"Mhm." Paine nodded.

"Do you want to go to the bank first to deposit your check?" Rikku asked as they passed an O'akka bank on their left. "I can make the turn."

"Yeah I'll do that now." Paine placed the bag of candy in a cup holder between them and searched her pockets. "I'll just sign it now."

"Baby don't keep those in your pockets, you could lose it…"

Paine nodded recognizing her bad practices. "You didn't bring your purse."

Rikku laughed at the truth. She was cleaning out her bag the other day and found more of Paine's things in it than her own. She made the left turn into the bank parking lot and Paine hopped out and strolled in. Rikku decided she would call her cousin now. She searched through her phone and sent the call to her car system before rolling up the windows as the dial tone sounded.

"Cousin Bayla."

"Yuniekins!"

Yuna sounded like she was doing something. "How's it going?"

"You were supposed to call me."

"You were supposed to send me a text to remind me."

"Oh yeah." Rikku laughed a little. "I forgot."

"Mhm."

"You sound good."

"I'm shopping."

"Figures."

"Come to the mall, there is a sale at Home Goods." She knew it was her cousin's favorite store.

"Ah man, I'm heading to breakfast with the girlfriend right now and then we are looking at apartments."

"Whoa when did this happen?"

"When did what happen?"

"You and Paine are moving in together?"

"Oh shiva Yunie, no." Rikku shook her head and then wondered why she was shaking her head. It wouldn't be so bad to live with Paine would it? "No I'm just gonna help her look at places, she's moving remember?"

"Right yes I remember."

"So I mean how's it going?"

Yuna sighed at herself. "I'm already returning things."

"Oh no!" Whenever Yuna was sad she shopped like she had all the money in the world and then went right back to returning everything in one trip. "We need to do something about this."

"Honestly I don't feel like doing anything."

"That's why we have to do something." Yuna could be heard sighing. "So why don't you just call him then Yunie."

"Because I don't want to."

"Why though?"

"Because just hearing his voice makes me sad and upset. He broke up with me remember? What am I supposed to do with a text message?" Yuna shook her head. "…Yes I'd like to return these please. I have a receipt."

Rikku tried to think of something to say. "We can egg his house."

Just then Paine opened the passenger side door and got in. "Who's house are we egging?"

"Tidus Meadow"s."

"Hi Paine." Yuna greeted when she heard the familiar voice.

"Hey boss." Paine greeted making Rikku smile a little and making Yuna chuckle which was a surprise from her gloomy tone just a minute ago.

"How about we have dinner tonight? The three of us, we haven't done that in a while." Rikku offered looking at Paine.

"I gotta work on my car babe…."

"I can help you so we finish on time."

Paine raised an eyebrow at her. "You do realize you'll get dirty and probably just slow me down right?"

"You do realize that I'm Al bhed right?"

"Alright, but Yuna if we're late you know why."

"What are we making? I can probably pick some stuff up now on my way back to take Kimahri to the dog park."

"Umm…"

"Baked chicken?" Rikku offered.

Paine nodded "sounds good to me."

##

Paine just stared at the blonde in the car beside her wondering if anyone she knew was driving down the same street as them

"_If you give me that chaaannnnce to be your man_…"Rikku raised the volume and turned to sing to her girlfriend as they waited for the light to change "_IIIII just wanna love yuh baby, yeah yeah yeah._ " Rikku sang as she danced in her seat. "_Mmmm_" Rikku laughed as Paine put her hand to her face as she rapped along to the rap part goofily. "_IIII just wanna love you baby, yeah yeah yeah…. Can't love you like I do….makes me trust you like I do…..heeeeeey, you will know the difference when I touch you_."

Paine just shook her head. Her girlfriend was a goof and a half. "Baby right here—"

"_Drums!_" Rikku was too busy jamming to the ending cutely to notice that she missed the exit. "Ah fudge." She mumbled when she realized it and the song ended. "How come you didn't tell me I passed it?"

Paine laughed. "I did. You were too busy breaking it down."

Rikku giggled and nodded as she focused on the address when she made a U-turn. "Here?"

"Yeah."

"Oh Pai this place is nice." Rikku nodded in approval as she pulled into the parking lot surrounded by some greenery. "You'll have your own space." Rikku drove on. "And they have indoor parking too…where do I park?" She asked herself.

"Right here." Paine pointed to a spot.

"No I can't park there."

"Yeah you could have."

"No no it's Sunday."

"That's why you could have a parked there."

Rikku bit her lip. "Oh yeah."

"It's fine just park here." Paine motioned at another open space.

"Alrighty." Rikku hummed as she pulled into the spot and turned off the car. "So?" She looked over at Paine who was going through a few print outs.

"This place is the most expensive one…" She realized after singling out the property page.

"It should be, it's a nice set up. Not like the last one."

Paine looked up. "You didn't like the last one?"

Rikku shook her head no. "Pypo the laundry room was crazy, I thought I might catch something." Paine laughed. "I'm serious."

"Well you're not living here are you?" Paine asked jokingly.

Rikku frowned a little. "Right, so I mean if you feel like fighting meth heads off your detergent…sorry."

Paine shook her head. "It's fine."

She hadn't heard from Dona since the night she drove her home and Paine was not going to think about it. Meth was a whole different ballgame and she just didn't want to know how that came about, not when she was getting on track and finally feeling the difference. She held concern for her but Paine knew that her time could no longer be wasted on something that would seldom change.

Rikku sat there for a moment. "Well look, I'll be staying by you sometimes, and what if I had to do a load or something? I wouldn't feel safe."

Paine nodded realizing the truth in that. "Yeah…and you gotta like where ever I pick too."

"Right right."

Paine nodded some more. "Yeah okay, so that last one is out for sure." She didn't like the idea of Rikku not feeling safe. Paine glanced at her about to say something but decided against it. "This place is close to everywhere too…What did you like of the first place we saw?"

Rikku thought for a moment. "The floors were creaky."

"The floors at your house are creaking Rikku."

Rikku laughed. "Well you'd be so far away from me, that's on the other side of Luca Pai."

Paine looked at the particular print out. "They don't let you have animals either so you wouldn't be allowed in."

Rikku shoved her lightly. "Hey watch it Kerrigan." She pointed a finger at Paine which she pulled back quickly when tried to bite it.

Paine laughed at the look on her face. "Get outta my face."

Rikku laughed at how she wrinkled her forehead cutely for effect. "Got a bit of an attitude on this one." She grabbed her cell phone and water bottle before getting out of the car. Paine followed after her, leaving the papers on her seat.

"You know it."

##

"Like…naked?"

Keira put a hand to her temple. "No not naked but I mean, is that important? I walked in on something." She plopped down on the saggy bean bag chair in her co-stars apartment. "I just felt so awkward like…I feel like she shouldn't be doing things like that." Keira furrowed her brows at how ridiculous she must have sounded.

"She's twenty one!"

"I know!"

Carlo laughed when Keira put her face in her hands. "Adjusting hm?" She nodded. "Well… I mean I guess it makes sense, you were never there to tell her not to do things and teach her about stuff so now it's kind of an new thing to realize that your little baby was totally about to get it on in a—"

"Okay I get it."

Carlo laughed. "They are still two separate people to you huh?"

Keira sighed. "It seems that way, she's Paine Amelia, but then she's not."

"Does it bother you at all that Paine Ameilia is gay?"

"No." Keira shook her head quickly but then stopped. "Yes? No no….I just didn't expect it, I mean I never expected her with men either."

"What do you mean?"

"Well babies are babies. I was just trying to focus on making her happy while everything was falling apart. I didn't get a chance to think this far into the future."

Carlo nodded in understanding. "Well I mean at least she has good taste. The blonde?"

Keira rolled her eyes at his obvious male approval. "Rikku Bayla is her name, she's nic—"

"Bayla? As in Kirill Bayla?" He began to get excited. "Your kid is dating Kirill Bayla's little sister? Do you understand how awesome that is?"

Keira blinked. "No…"

"You'll get season tickets for life!"

"For what?"

"For what…For Blitz Keir!"

"Oh would you stop." Keira laughed. "I have more important things to concern myself with."

Carlo laughed. "Like what?"

"Like the fact that Paine's father keeps calling me."

##

Rikku turned to her girlfriend with a toothy sort of smile. Paine laughed. "I know." They were standing in the small living room of an empty apartment in Little Besaid, an area populated by islanders from ever island, the majority being Besaidians. There was also a well acclimated crowd of young people, poor and rich, and then a present amount of elders to keep order. There were no needles in the gutter, and no whores on the corner. Paine considered this a huge upgrade.

"Wooden floors Pai."

"I know."

"Cute little fireplace Pai."

Paine put her arm around Rikku's waist. "I know."

"Pai."

"I know I know."

This place was perfect and they both knew it. The floor plan was simple with an open living room slash eating area, the kitchen to the right. There was a small sliding door with a fire escape and room for two chairs and maybe a mini table. The small hall with a bathroom, a linen closet, and the only bedroom was off to the left of the sliding door. It was small, but then again it was in the city, everything was unreliably small and cramp, but what set this place apart was the simple floor plan that allowed for more space. All the other places had oddly placed kitchens, sideways halls, and all sorts of nonsense that made Rikku certain she'd make it into architecture school.

Rikku looked up at Paine who seemed to be thinking hard on something. "Pai." She whispered.

"Yeah?" Paine asked as she watched the shorter woman's eyes grow wide .

"You could get a puppy!"

"Whoa let's um…" Paine laughed. "Slow down Rikks I don't know if I can afford this place."

Rikku looked about the living room slash kitchen slash dining room they were standing in. At the beginning of their little tour of the city Rikku didn't know what to tell her girlfriend. All the places looked like crap in her opinion, but then again this was Rikku, who had always lived in a two story house, who had caviar in her fridge at home, who could afford forty dollar socks. Once she realized the norms, which Paine gladly pointed out to her, she was able to see the place for what it was. She could see her girlfriend living here; she could see herself coming over here. Rikku could see it. Everywhere else just didn't sit right with her and she knew Paine knew it. "Why?" She asked.

"Um because I don't have a job yet for when I graduate so I don't even know if I'd be able to maintain the rent and utilities…"

"But why move out of somewhere you liked to somewhere you didn't like, It makes no sense. You'd just be moving to say you moved." Paine put her hands in her pockets and thought before walking over to the little fireplace and squatted down to start fiddling with it. She sighed and then walked into the kitchen and pulled the refrigerator aside to look behind it.

Rikku walked into the kitchen with her and then stepped out onto the little fire escape and looked down at the bustling street below. This apartment was on the fourth floor. She smiled when she felt Paine come behind her. "Look down there is a little Besaidian restaurant." Rikku motioned with her chin as Paine's arm wrapped around her stomach and pulled her back from the shaky railing a little. "Date night?" Rikku asked looking over her shoulder at her.

Paine noted the little restaurant with the outside seats and the blue awning. "Okay."

Rikku looked up at her. "Okay?"

"I'll put my offer in."

"Aww her first place!"

Paine chuckled. "They better fix this railing first though…"

"This one?" Rikku asked as she playfully leaned all her weight into it.

Paine pulled her back quickly. "Bayla."

"Alright alright." She smiled at the serious look Paine was giving her.

##

"You fucking just never listen!"

"I never listen?! _You_ never listen!"

Paine quickly rolled from under her car and glared at the woman she loved. "You know what I think it's best if you just—"

Rikku threw the oily rag she was holding down onto Paine's stomach and put her hands up. "You don't even need to finish telling me to leave. I'm gone." Paine watched as she stomped off into the building where she lived.

"Did you and your friend have a fight?"

Paine looked over to see Mackenzie and Joyce walking down the street toward her. Mackenzie had just gotten out of day care and was wearing her ladybug back pack. Paine sat up. "Oh hey guys."

"Mackenzie go inside hm?" Joyce ushered the little girl up the stoop.

"But I wanna stay here with Paine!" She scrunched up her face.

Joyce laughed. "She's busy and you have to do work."

"After?"

"I don't know if I'll be around for dinner Big Mack, but how 'bout I drive you to school tomorrow?"

"And pick me up?"

"Mackenzie."

Paine shook her head at Joyce. "It's okay, I can pick her up too."

"Are you sure Paine?"

"Yeah." Paine shrugged and wiped her oily hands onto her jeans. "It's no problem."

"Okay." Mackenzie did a little fist pump and ran inside. Joyce sighed.

"How is she?" Paine asked getting to her feet.

"She's doing better in school. I have a few interviews with private schools next week."

"Damn that letter, I'll have it written by mid week."

"Don't push yourself. You have a lot going on."

"I'll have it done though." Paine nodded.

"How did today go?"

Paine sighed. She still felt bad about leaving Joyce and Mackenzie and everyone else that had been good to her these past two years. "I found a place."

Joyce smiled. "I knew you would. Where?"

"Conley street?"

"Oh that area is nice, artsy, full of young people."

"Yeah I just…don't know how to tell Mackenzie."

"I already told her that you would be moving soon."

"You did?" Paine seemed surprised.

"She said as long as it wasn't too far and she could still visit." Joyce shook her head in amusement.

"The forty one gets off right on my block." Paine nodded excited at the fact that she didn't have to break the news herself. "I'll give her a key."

Joyce laughed. "You'll never be able to get rid of her."

Paine shrugged. "I just y'know…don't want her getting into trouble."

Joyce smiled. "She won't with you as her guardian."

Paine blushed. "She told you that?"

Joyce laughed. "We were out getting new shoes for her and you know how she feels about the mall."

"Yeah." Little Mackenzie had developed an aversion to the mall ever since she gotten lost there a year ago.

"She was fine this trip though, she said you'd find her because that's what Guardians do."

Paine laughed. "Cute kid you got there."

"Oh and she never let's e forget it. How is Gippal?"

"He's y'know, getting there."

"And how are you?"

Paine shrugged. "Nervous."

"A lot of things are happening."

"Too fast." Paine agreed.

"I'm not worried, and if anything you know you always have a home here."

Paine smiled. "Yeah."

Joyce nodded. "Now I think you should clean this oil up before the people coming to look at the place see it."

"I'm on it." Paine nodded quickly going over to the hose.

##

She climbed the stairs and pushed the door to her bedroom open. Rikku glanced at her but then went back to sketching. She was lying on Paine's bed on her stomach with her swinging gently in the air.

Paine went over to the bed and stood there for a moment waiting for Rikku to acknowledge her. When the blonde didn't she sighed loudly, but still nothing. "For fucks sake."

"Just say you're sorry!"

"For what!?"

Rikku looked up at her. "Being _you_."

Paine actually laughed at that one. "Babe c'mon, you knew what you were getting yourself into. I warned you."

"Hmph." Rikku went back to sketching; she smiled to herself when Paine groaned. "Well if you're not going to apologies for being you you should at least say sorry for being a meanie."

Paine kneeled down so she could be on eye level with the girl on the bed. She took Rikku's hands in her dirty ones and waited for Rikku to actually look at her. "I'm…sorry for you…" Paine ended with a little smile and Rikku burst out laughing.

"Is it really that hard to say sorry?"

"I'm sorry you feel that I should be sorry." She tried again.

Rikku laughed and held Paine's hands closer to herself. "Repeat after me." Paine nodded. "I, Paine Amelia Kerrigan…"

"I, Paine Amelia Kerrigan"

"Am sorry for…"

"Am sorry for…"

"Being an ass to my amazing girlfriend Rikku."

"Being an…"

Rikku laughed. "You can do it."

"Being an….amazing girlfriend."

"No!" Rikku was grinning though and so was Paine. "Pyppooo."

Paine leaned forward and stole a small kiss. "Sorry Baby."

Rikku tilted her head cutely. "Huh?" She puckered her lips.

Paine leaned In again and stole another little kiss. "Sorry."

"Fryd yna oui cyoehk?"

Paine smirked. "If you want me to kiss you can just tell me."

Rikku smirked back. She inched to the end of the bed and leaned close to Paine's face. Their lips weren't even a breath apart. "I want you to…."

Paine swallowed. "Yeah?" She breathed.

"Paine I want you to….Go shower so we can leave on time."

It took Paine a second to register what she had said. Her brain was too caught up in the change in Rikku's tone when she used her bedroom voice. "What?"

The blonde laughed and then stole a kiss of her own before going back to her sketch pad. "You're all greasy." Rikku concluded that it was an endearing sort of look for Paine's clothes to be covered in random oil blots and for her hands…her beautiful piano hands to be stained as well. Her hair was slightly rustled and there was something that just seemed to cute about the whole thing. Call her crazy.

Paine stood fully feeling cheated. "I thought you Al Bhed liked grease?"

"Oh ha ha, Rinno ib pavuna oui syga ic myda."

Paine smiled and turned to find her towel. "Yes ma'am."

They were on their way to Yuna's within the hour. Paine had traded her oil stained clothes for a dark blue tank top and jeans, her leather jacket was draped over her passenger seat and she was wearing her shades. Paine couldn't wait for summer to begin and as the temperature slowly increased she could feel her excitement for the future do the same. She would be hearing back from the landlord about her apartment offer, apparently that particular unit had attracted a lot of attention, the landlord liked that Paine was about to graduate college, and had already been living on her own. She felt like she had a good chance and if that fell through then Paine would just continue to look. Talking to Joyce today eased her anxieties about a lot.

Paine picked up her phone when it began to ring in her cup holder of spare change. "Kerrigan." She glanced back up at the road.

"Bayla." Rikku replied with a chuckle.

Paine glanced at the white car ahead of her that was driving like it owned the road. "What's up?"

"I just spoke to Yunie and she said to bring dessert, do you want to stop somewhere here or closer by me?"

"Whatever is fine with me."

"Cheesecake?"

"From where?"

"Delaney's?"

"Is that where you got me cookies when I was in the hospital?"

"No, that's Demi-Sec… Do you want to go there?"

"Yeah let's go there. I don't remember where it is though."

"I do, hey…"

"Hm?"

"We need a plan for Yunie."

"What do you mean?"

"Well she's in a funk."

"Tidus broke up with her for stringing him along…"

"Yunie did not string him along!"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Okay well Tidus broke up with her, she's gonna be a little sad. If she wants to talk about we'll talk about, but if not I don't think we should push her y'know?" The approached a red light.

"Yeah well how about we play good cop bad cop."

Paine shook her head. "Which one am I?"

"You'll be the bad cop."

"Why me?"

"Because I talk to Yunie all the time, research has shown—"

"Research? What research?"

"—That Yunies are more inclined to tell you things if we approach her together, she values your input Paine, it's kinda why she didn't break up with him in the first place."

"Because of me?"

"Mhm."

"I don't believe that but okay…"

"We'll bring it up casually."

"So you're gonna good cop this?"

"Yeah, I'll be supportive and just so sweet, I'll nod a lot too." Rikku laughed.

"Why can't you be that way without me getting involved, I hate getting involved." The light changed green and the two were off again.

"Because Paine you don't know Yunie like I do okay?"

"Which is exactly why I don't think I should get involved."

"Which is exactly why at this time with Uncle B away again and the house all to herself, Yunie needs someone to talk to, she respects you. She loves me but she respects you."

Paine laughed a little. "I don't get how—"

"I'm happy."

"What?"

"I'm in love and I'm happy."

"And I'm not?"

"I didn't say that, I'm just saying that we know each other so well that I know Yunie is just trying to figure things out on her own because she doesn't feel like I can…relate."

"That sounds backwards."

"Welcome to the Bayla-Shaw's."

Paine thought about it for a second. "So you're saying that she doesn't want to bring you down?"

"Exactly. Yunie is all about self sacrifice, it drives me insane sometimes, but she's such a better person that I am."

"Well that could be argued."

Rikku smiled a little. "Thanks Pypo, but I really am worried about her, will you do this for me?" She heard Paine sigh heavily and then heard the line she had grown used to hearing.

"Whatever you want, Princess."

"Awww thank you thank you thank you!"

"Alright well focus on the road wills yuh?" Paine laughed as Rikku's car swerved just a tiny bit.

"You won't regret this."

"I know I won't. I'm demanding some ass in return."

Rikku laughed and hung up. Paine grinned to herself before ending the call officially and following the blonde down a main road. The city was showing signs of life after a dead winter. There was this energy in the air that you couldn't fight. Martha was right about a few things… well more than a few, but right now Paine was seeing just a bit clearer than before. Your body was this thing of carbon and water, something that runs on reactions, mostly chemical, therefore electrical. Paine could understand that putting energy into something could change the output indefinitely. She saw it all the time in her major classes; someone was going to heal a hell of a lot faster if they had the support, if they were loved, if they had a positive attitude.

It had taken her a while to realize that she had had at least two of those things from the very beginning. They never said it, but she knew Gippal loved her, and it was never quite said but she knew she always had a home, a safe haven, with Joyce and Mackenzie, now with Wakka and Lulu. Paine was getting there and she wasn't even trying. Well now was different. Dona in many ways continued to be important. Life always had a way of showing you the emergency exit before your plane crashed. Dona was that mirror, Paine couldn't be afraid of change anymore, being afraid just sucked.

##

"I'll go and bring out the cheesecake." Yuna nodded as she jumped from her seat in the study and disappeared into the kitchen.

Paine was relaxing beside Rikku lazily petting Kimahri who had finally left Yuna's side since who knows how long. They made baked chicken and root vegetables and Paine was five minutes from calling it a successful day and closing her eyes.

"Pstt." Rikku rubbed her shoulder to gently pull her out of the eating coma.

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Now?"

"Yeah." The blonde nodded and smiled as Paine pulled herself up and disappeared with their plates into the kitchen. A few seconds later she could hear Paine turning on the faucet and Yuna saying something to her. The blonde put up her feet and smiled as Kimahri jumped up onto the couch beside her and got comfortable. "Oh we're friends again?" She chuckled and scratched his back before reaching for her keys and checking on her own pup.

Yuna laughed at Paine's attempts. "She sent you in here didn't she?"

Paine nodded. "She's just really worried about you, and if I go back in there with nothing—"

"Trust me I know."

The two shared a telling look.

"She's pushy when she really cares about something." Paine closed the dishwasher and leaned against it as it gurgled with start up.

Yuna sighed. "You can tell her that I'm fine."

Paine shook her head slowly. "Not gonna work."

Yuna laughed a little and leaned against the counter near Paine. "Have you spoken to him at all?"

The judo fighter shook her head. "No."

"Why?"

Paine thought about it. "He's an idiot." Yuna was a catch and everyone knew it.

Yuna nodded. "Yeah well, I can almost understand."

"Almost?"

"Almost because I was an inch away from doing the same thing, claiming the same thing…I wanted him to be happy and this was the only way. I got cold feet and he beat me to it so that…there is that."

"Is that why?" Yuna half shrugged and sighed shakily. Paine raised an eyebrow. "I can't handle when people cry…so don't."

She laughed. "You know I wasn't sure…"

"About Tidus?"

"About you." She looked at Paine directly. "But um, you and Rikku are perfect."

Paine didn't know if she should smile or not because Yuna's tone was so sad. "Nothing's perfect."

"He felt perfect to me." She shook her head at herself and crossed her arms to her chest. "It's just going to take some time for me to realize that everything is anything but, no matter how we look at the world. Lulu always said that all you need is determination; if you have that then you don't need love."

"Was she broken up with Wakka at the time?"

Yuna tilted her head. "Yeah actually. But that's Lulu right? She's always going to be Lulu. "

Paine shrugged. "I suppose."

"She's who she is and well I guess Wakka loves that. I want to be who I am, and I want Tidus to believe." She shook her head. "I'm afraid Paine." She glanced at her cousin's girlfriend. "I'm afraid to show him any more of me because I feel as though he's just ignore it like he did this."

"Did he ignore it though?"

"I know not intentionally."

They fell silent.

"I think you should give him a chance…."

"A chance at what?"

"Whatever." Paine shrugged and pushed off from leaning on the counter. "A chance is a chance right?"

Yuna nodded slowly. "Right."

##

"Hi, my name is Rikku."

"Hi Rikku." The room greeted in unison.

"Hi..um well I'm Al bhed, and I guess gay or at least bisexual…and I'm a woman so um…I already have a lot think about everyday y'know? My girlfriend of nine months had an overdose two years ago…we didn't know each other then but um. She has this thing that makes healing slow down….PAWS…and I just I worry after her because I love her, sometimes she's present and sometimes she just not there and….well I was just surprised to learn that other people live like this too….not knowing if the person you love is going to wake up that person or someone else." Rikku played with the ring on her right hand nervously. She didn't know how she felt about everyone watching her, but she did feel a little better for sharing, even though her voice shook. "I love her to bits and I'm willing to do whatever it takes but... I find myself sometimes questioning if I'm fit to be with her, like maybe someone else could be more sensitive or understanding, and then there are other times where I feel like I'm taking just as long as she is to heal, then that just makes me feel sad because the thought of us never reaching this synchronized way we had when we first met, before everything got so complicated, well that makes me wonder what the point of it all is… love and stuff….I guess positivity is important. She's like…my whole day and my whole night, my warm and cold, my time, my everything …it's just really hard. I want her to be better today, right now, I wanna look at her and know there is nothing on her mind but happy thoughts, I want her to eat and sleep and…." Rikku sniffled hard and wiped her face as a few tears came loose. "I just want her to sleep." Someone handed her a tissue and that just made it worse.

"Thanks for sharing Rikku."


	53. Chapter 53

**AN: Do you all prefer my rambly author's notes in the beginning or the end? Lol Anyway this chapter was a real joy to write, maybe too much of a joy. Enjoy!**

**KathleenDee**

**Chapter Fifty Three**

"I got your texts."

Tidus sat down across from his ex girlfriend. They were still on campus due to some late classes and a study group or two. The end of the semester was closing in on them and so was the window they needed to talk through. Tidus was wearing a blitz hoodie and dry swim trunks. He had probably just come from a swim. Yuna sat in the coffee house in a light jacket and a simple gray sweater dress with long sleeves. Her long braid was down and sat on her lap as she nursed her coffee.

"I know." Tidus nodded. "You didn't respond."

Yuna shook her head no. "I didn't know how to."

Tidus was over the moon that she had wanted to sit down and talk to him, but he kept that joy on the inside. "I made a mistake." He said softly taking Wakka's advice. "I…thought that you were going to break up with me first and…"

"I was." Yuna picked up her mug. "Tidus what do you want from me?" Her tone was somewhat pleading, like maybe if he let go this would hurt less.

He retreated a little in his seat. She was staring at him so intensely, so honestly. He didn't know what to do. Fortunately he was still able to speak. "I want to be with you."

"I'm not moving, I can't move."

Tidus nodded. "Because of fashion…"

Yuna rolled her eyes. "No, not just because of my life dream Tidus, because I'm not some lost little puppy who has to follow her man around okay?"

Tidus was surprised. "Is that what you think I think of you?"

"Well if that's not what you think then what do you think?"

"I was hurt when you said no so quickly. I'll admit that, but it wasn't because I though you were some idiot who was depended upon anyone. Yuna I love you, not just because you're beautiful and amazing, but because you are who you are." He genuinely looked offended. "I know I'm not…the brightest, but give me just a little credit?"

"So why did you push so much even after I said no? What else did you want me to think?"

"I pushed because I thought you would change your mind…I thought it was the romantic thing to do."

Yuna raised an eyebrow. "The romantic thing to do?"

He nodded. "The grand gesture? I thought if I just let it be well then you would think that I didn't care, and that's not how it is at all. I need you."

She put a hand to her face and sighed heavily. "You broke up with me though…because of romance?"

"Because I was scared that it would hurt more coming from you…." Tidus looked away ashamed at his childlike thought process. "I was wrong."

"Tidus I don't know what you want me to say to you right now. First you say the things that I have wanted you to say for months now, and then you tell me that the real reason for pushing for me to come with you is because you thought I wouldn't care if you didn't? That makes no sense."

He sighed with a nod. "I know, I've never actually said it out loud before." Yuna just shook her head. "My dad said that a man had to make these big decisions regardless of the consequences. I love you and I didn't want us to graduate and date other people….I don't wanna date other people."

Yuna just looked at his face, how familiar yet strikingly different it seemed. "Zanarkand is far away…."

"I know, and I know you're frustrated with me. I'm sorry." He reached for her hand across the table. "Can you understand how scared I am right now though? I feel like I've lost you for good."

She stared into his intense blue eyes. "You haven't lost me."She held his hand back. "I just don't know what's going to happen with us."

"Well we are going to graduate…you with honors, me just barely." He joked and Yuna smiled just a little. "Then we're gonna have a real good few weeks with our friends, and then I'll get on an airship and play ball, and you'll….y'know do what you do best. I want you in my life Yuna, I do. I just…." He shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what's going to happen either; I do know that I don't want to spend our time actually in the same state fighting like this. I really just can't take it."

"So then…what do we do?" She sighed lightly. "I've never been in a situation like this and I have to tell you I don't like it."

Tidus looked a little sad. "You don't?"

"Not because it's with you." She offered him a genuine smile. "But then again only because it's with you."

Tidus furrowed his brows. "I'm confused." He let the thought sink in and then began to smile goofily. "Ohhhh."

Yuna just shook her head she was smiling though.

His smile softened around the edges and he picked up Yuna's hand to kiss it. "I'll make this right, I promise."

##

Paine hung up her "meeting clothes" in Rikku's closet; a pair of black slacks and a white button down shirt. They probably thought she was some type of professional or something. Rikku wore a beige skirt and blazer with a baby blue button down this week. She looked more like a professional than Paine ever could that was for sure. After dinner at a deli near the YMCA the two returned here to regroup. Paine didn't know if she wanted to stay over tonight and she didn't know if Rikku wanted her to either. Things were weird after these meetings. Maybe not weird, just unbelievably real.

"I shared today."

Paine left the closet and entered the room. Rikku was wearing orange shorts and a black tank top. She was standing in front of her vanity mirror putting her hair into its ponytail with some hair left over to frame her face like it always did now a days. Paine ran a hand through her own hair to mess up it's tamed look. "You did?"

She nodded. "It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be."

Paine took a seat on the queen sized bed facing the vanity. "What did you talk about?"

"You." Rikku glanced back at her girlfriend.

She didn't know what she was expecting the blonde to say. The whole reason she was going to these things was because of her. "Did it help to do that? I mean to talk to strangers?" She chose her words as carefully as possible. Martha said that discussion about this was important, and Paine was trying to ignore the uneasy feeling she got when she learned Rikku had spoken about her.

Rikku nodded once. "I felt better, yeah."

"Oh, well good."

The room was quiet.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

Paine smiled. "Of course."

"And how I was able to tell you things about myself that…I didn't want people to judge me for?" Rikku turned around, finally finished with her hair. She took a seat beside Paine on her bed. "It's…sort of like that."

"Do you feel like you can't tell me things now because I know you so well?"

Rikku thought about it. "No, I just…when it comes to this I don't want to make you feel any worse. I know you hurt."

Paine sat with that for a moment before looking at Rikku. "You can tell me anything Rikku."

Rikku met her honest gaze and sighed lightly. "I know I can."

Paine glanced elsewhere. "I was going to share today… but I didn't." She looked back at Rikku. "This guy was talking about how his wife just didn't understand, how everyday they just grew further away from each other. I don't know what I was going to say but it made me think of you and I got a little sad about it."

"Do you think that maybe that would happen?"

Paine shrugged. "He said they were totally in love before things just up and changed."

It was Rikku's turn to look somewhere now. "Well… things are always going to up and change, that's life, Pai."

Paine nodded in agreement. "I just don't know what I would do if it were to ever change that drastically. I wish I knew what to say to you to like…help you to continue to understand me but I'm at a loss."

Rikku looked at her then. It was probably the most honest and earnest things she had ever said to her. "From where I sit it's just a waiting game. I know you and I want you to be better now but your body has chosen to take it slow, and you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that's probably best." She touched Paine's right forearm with her left hand. "Some wives say is that he was good one day and the next he was back at it again. I know that's not going to happen to you, so in that regard I'm not worried at all."

"Well then what are you worried about then? Why do we have to go to these things?"

"We have to go because you have to go so I don't worry, and in me attending also it's like I'm going through something with you. I wanna share in what you are feeling as best as possible. If things don't change then I'm worried it's always going to be like this, and I love you but everyday seeing you worry your hair grayer is hard on me." Rikku smiled at Paine's little laugh.

"I asked you the other day if it looked like I was graying and you said no."

"Pypo you have cool hair, it's not quite black, it's like…dark gray and so maybe a little highlights in some places, but from your picture as a little kid that's how it's always been, relax."

Paine shook her head but smiled at her girlfriend. "I know I've been stressed out lately…"

"Lately? Try since I've met you, that's got to be exhausting."

"It is." She admitted she extended her right arm a little bit so she could hold Rikku's left hand. "I don't want you to worry." She said quietly.

"I can't help it, and you can't help it."

"These meetings…I'll keep going." She decided. "I mean, as long as you want to. I just…I don't want you to get comfortable with those people. It's not going to be like this forever and you don't belong there and—"

"Paine." She let go of her hand.

"No Rikks c'mon, you are not an enabler, you kick my ass all the time because you know when I'm slacking. You're different, and you deserve to be treated like that."

"They are people who are going through things too. I'm not one inch better than anyone in that room."

"Yeah, you are, because they are people, fine, but you're _my_ person, and that's how I see it. You immediately take priority and I don't think that—"

Just then Rikku's bedroom door knocked.

"Yeah?!" Rikku called after giving Paine a glance. They were finally communicating and she hated to interrupt that.

"Do you two want to go out to dinner with Leblanc and I?" Cid called and then opened the door to stick his head inside. "Beef tips and veggies and rice… we're thinkin' _Fiori_. Rikku shook her head and Paine said no thank you. Cid examined their faces and nodded before closing the door after leaving.

Paine sighed when he left. "Maybe I should go."

Rikku furrowed her brows. "Why?"

"I don't want to upset you."

"Pypo we're talking."

"I know but—"

"You can go if you like, but I'd rather you stay."

They were both quiet. "I just don't want you to worry." Paine tried again once she steadied herself.

"Well I'm sorry. When you care about someone you tend to worry sometimes."

Paine sighed. "Well not anymore than you have to, can you trust me when I say that things just seem different? That…things are clearer?"

"I believe that, and I trust that."

"I want a future with you."

Rikku tilted her head to get a better look at Paine's since she had ducked it away. "That's all I want." She took Paine's hand again for emphasis.

Paine looked at her then. "So just tell me what I need to do."

"I need you to continue going…" Paine sighed heavily. "Do you remember when you first started going to see Martha?"

"Sure babe, but I knew her already, and that's one old lady that lives way across town that I won't run into at the grocery store."

"You of all people are worried of what they think?"

"Me of all people?"

"Well you don't exactly conform to what society says about you, I love that about you. I just want you to be happy Paine, I don't want to push this, you're an adult and I'm not your mother, just think about how much good it can do."

Paine sighed and looked down at their joint hands. "I'm nervous."

"About what is going to happen to us?" Paine nodded without looking at her. "Pypo you'll always have my love."

"Yeah but…I just don't want that, I want all of you, and I feel like I'm under this pressure to be a certain person for you and for Yuna and Gippal and just everyone."

"Do I put pressure on you?"

Paine was quiet. "Sometimes…"

"When Pai?" Rikku asked wondering what she had done.

Paine finally looked at her. "It's not bad, it's just we're in a relationship, and sometimes I think you forget you're my first girlfriend ever…my first relationship ever." Rikku nodded in understanding. "I still don't know what I am doing from time to time. You're so amazing…I just get this feeling that this thing with me is standing in between us."

Rikku shook her head quickly. "No no, Pai." She sighed. "The only thing between you and I?" She motioned to them with her free hand. "Is my love for you and your love for me. I'm so sorry if I've made you think otherwise. It's just seeing you struggle hurts way more than I expected it to, and I wanna lift you up and push it, but I realize that it's probably making things worse. It's just… I know what's best for you though, because I know your heart."

Paine smiled. It was a true statement, if anyone in the world had her back it was Rikku. There was a time when she thought herself to be all alone. "I feel like such a fuck up sometimes and when you worry after me it makes me feel like I can't even keep you happy." She picked up their hands. "I want this to be about us, not just me and my issues."

"So it won't be, come, ask me something."

"Do you still have those nightmares?" Paine asked right off the bat. It seemed to take Rikku a little off guard but since they were talking truths here she was ready to answer.

"Yes. Sometimes. Less now a days but they still happen."

"What are they about? Auron?" Rikku nodded. "Will you talk about it with me when it happens next time?" She asked softly.

"When I wake you up?"

Paine nodded. "You hold me like the eternal calm has ended or something, it makes me worry."

Rikku knew she woke up scared and clingy after those dreams, but who wouldn't? Paine was her comfort and even though she never asked questions Rikku could just feel her looking at her as she tried to fall back to sleep. "Okay, I promise that I will try." She squeezed Paine's hand gently. "I'll try."

"What about school?" Paine moved on to her next concern.

Rikku blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Where are you going to be?"

Rikku sighed. "I don't know."

Paine looked away. "You know that you should go wherever is best right? Even if that's far away."

"Do you really mean that?"

Paine looked back at her and shook her head no. "Yes."

Rikku watched her before answering. "We'll worry about that when we have to."

"Okay."

Rikku leaned closer to her and pressed her lips against Paine's, she pulled back and smiled at the small sound it made. "You know I can't stay away from you for too long." Paine smiled but it was obvious the subject was still on her list.

##

Rikku arched her back and moaned into Paine's bare shoulder as her girlfriend pushed deeper.

This had been a very intense exchange. Rikku didn't know if it was because they spent the entire night talking and the rest making love over and over again, but every time was better than the last and she felt drunk off all that Paine had to offer.

Paine moaned against her neck just below her ear, the noise and the vibration it caused made Rikku shiver within her heat. Paine took a second before making sure her three fingers readjusted themselves in her girlfriend's warmth, just the movement alone made Rikku quake. Paine slid her digits out with slippery ease and then pushed in again, she panted shakily as she felt Rikku tighten around her. "I love you so fucking much." Paine mumbled against her moist cheek.

Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and pulled her head closer into her neck as she continued the slow rhythm. "I love you, I love you…" she arched again. "Painnne, uh."

Paine wasn't sure what had taken control of them but this was the fourth time that night and it was morning already. They were sweaty and her lower stomach felt as tight as a drum. She had never used this many fingers or been this deep in the blonde before. To be in her like this made Paine's head spin. It felt like Rikku just completely opened up to her and with each delicate grazing of her spot Paine knew this was different, she felt taken, and she didn't want to return home anytime soon as long as the blonde was with her. "Rikks." Paine panted; she pulled against Rikku's hold and rested her forehead against hers. The woman on the bottom opened up her bright eyes and took Paine's breath away.

"Tuh'd cdub." Rikku whispered, a very obvious need in her tone.

Paine nodded and claimed her swollen lips gently. Everything was gentle and slow at this point, Paine didn't want it to end, and she knew Rikku felt the same; it wasn't about the destination, they had been there before with one another, it was more about how they both got to it. The world didn't exist, the sheets on the bed that had long since come undone, the window above them, not even the pillow Rikku had her head on. Nothing at all existed but their love and Paine would admit to being choked up at the emotions involved. When Rikku came again it really felt like she just might die, but how sweet a death it would be? She didn't make as much noise as she did before but Paine could see and feel the torment of pleasure ripping through her.

God damn her girlfriend was gorgeous.

Paine let her catch Rikku breath and used her free hand to wipe the bit of sweat from her forehead. She leaned back in to place a gentle kiss on her lover's lips but ended up moaning in surprise when she felt Rikku's hand sneak between her legs. Paine shifted her weight down, effectively sliding onto Rikku's three fingers. She let out a ragged sort of breath and Rikku claimed her lips again this time with a new fever.

Paine was wet, very very wet. To know that her girlfriend still desired her after all this time boosted her lover's confidence to do what she had wanted to do in bed for a little while now. "Neta sa pypo." Rikku husked when their lips left contact. Looking up at Paine whose eyes had just fluttered closed and whose lips were slightly parted to let a quiet hum escape made Rikku weak. She loved this woman so much that words could not describe what pleasing her felt like. She used her right hand to trace along Paine's long leg before sitting on the swell of her hip to guide her forward more.

Paine moved her hand from in between Rikku's legs and planted both her palms on either side of Rikku's shoulders as she moved. She winced in pleasure as Rikku squeezed her hip and moaned at the new position she found herself in. Rikku was staring up at probably the most beautiful woman in all of Spira with her perfect pair of breasts bouncing gently in her face.

She sat up a little and suckled lovingly on her girlfriend's left tit. Paine moaned and got a little less shy with her movements.

The bed began to make the smallest bit of noise

"Muug yd sa." Rikku panted.

Paine opened her crimson eyes and locked them onto Rikku's possessive Ivy and clover mix as she rode her.

##

Cid raised an eyebrow at the two. "Are you sick again?" He asked his daughter only a few hours later.

"Huh?" Rikku looked away from dreamily gazing at Paine eating her cereal."What Pops?"

"Are you two sick again?"

Paine yawned loudly and shook her head no. "I'm fine." She mumbled.

"Yeah." Rikku smiled and leaned on her elbow again and went back to her gazing. "We're good."

"Yeah." Paine agreed while looking back at Rikku. "Yeah…"

They smiled at one another.

"Well…" Cid looked between the two. "You're still in your pajamas Milan, and its nine… are you even going to school today? Milan…Rikku Milan?...Paine?"

Paine became alert when her name was mentioned. "I'm gonna be late…" She looked around. Her first class was at nine forty five.

Rikku snapped out of her love induced haze when the mention of Paine leaving was brought up. "Hey noo don't leave." She begged quietly. "I'm not done lookin' atchya." She smiled at the small blush it caused.

Paine was about to say something but then glanced at Cid who was watching them in a confused manner, it wasn't going to take long for him to figure it out, and Paine rather be in her boring old lecture than here when that happened. She stood and brought her cereal bowl to the sink. Rikku had poured her more than usual and she was thankful because there was no way she'd survive the first few hours of the day on E like she was when she woke up this morning. Hell Paine still felt a little hungry if she were being honest. Last night was just something else, she let Rikku take control and she found herself even more turned on by her girlfriend's dominant side than she thought possible. It was hot for lack of a better word and her body was physically exhausted, but her world just seemed fuzzy and soft.

She felt high.

"Have a good day guys." Paine said as she picked up her leather jacket.

"I'll walk you out." Rikku jumped up and followed Paine out and into the main hall of the house, and then even a step further onto the porch while leaving the door almost closed behind her. "Let's play hooky today."

Paine chuckled. "I have a quiz in forty minutes, and then work. I'm sorry baby."

Rikku sighed but then smiled when Paine placed a hand on her left hip. "Text me."

"I will."

"Gimmie a kiss."

"I'll give you two."

After her two lovely kisses goodbye that were supposed to last her until Thursday (it was Tuesday) Rikku reentered her kitchen with a light sigh.

"Milan." Cid said firmly. "What's going on?"

Rikku waved him off and poured herself another cup of tea. "Nothin' new Pops, I'm just really…in love okay? Gosh." She took her tea upstairs to have it while she got ready for school herself.

##

"Why the fuck do you sound so chipper?" Gippal asked his best friend over the phone. She was his one allotted call every weekday morning around this time. They hardly ever communicated by phone so the phone calls never lasted too long. Gippal couldn't help but notice her elevated tones today though.

Paine shrugged to herself as she gazed at the little hooded chocobo on her dashboard. It was a red light so it allotted her some time to think of the blonde who had gifted it to her. "I'm gonna ask her."

Gippal watched a nurse walk by. "Hold on….damn I should have checked into here sooner!"

Pine laughed. "Gip! Focus, recovery not…skullduggery."

Gippal laughed. "You know you have to talk to her father first right?"

"Why? I mean I'm not asking her to marry me…"

"Well… she's a traditional Al Bhed girl, you have to talk to Cid first, I'm telling you…Are you sure about this too? I mean this is pretty serious, I know in other cultures it's not but…"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

"Well alight I guess…" Gippal began coughing violently. He tossed the phone at his feet on the bed in the monitoring health ward so Paine wouldn't hear the thick sound of a little blood and mucus hitting the throw up pan they had given him when this first started.

"….Gip? You there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." He strained to sound normal. "So fuck when is all this happening?" He wiped his chin and glanced up at the nurse with the nice ass who was motioning that he end the call so she could take a look at him. Gippal gave her a look and she left.

Paine shrugged. "Graduation….? I mean I still have to find a place that sells the right ones."

"Right around the corner from that one place."

"That one place?"

"Yeah you know the one… Think she'll accept?"

Paine nodded. "I hope so…why wouldn't she?"

"Eh like I've said, this is pretty serious."

"Well I'm serious about her so…"

Gippal laughed. "Yeah but this shit is…, just think about it a little more will yuh?"

Paine sighed. "No, I've already decided."

"Well when you decide something you do it huh?"

"Damn right. How are things?"

Gippal stared down at his blood. "Gettin' there."

##

'Yunie hya!"

Yuna glanced to her left at her cousin who had literally bounced over to her side. Despite her melancholy mood just the look of the younger girl made her laugh. "My goodness what crawled into your sleeping bag…or should I say who?"

Rikku blushed heavily but grinned even wider. "This woman is going to kill me Yunie."

Yuna laughed as they waited on line at Jambi Juice together. "Good night then?"

Rikku hugged her books to her chest. "Amazing …" Yuna raised a brow and waited for her to continue, but it seemed she got lost in a memory. She laughed more. The blonde looked exhausted, but she was glowing like it was nobody's business. "Anyway…" Rikku tried to contain herself. "Anyway how did the talk go?"

"Well it's safe to say that I'm still Yuna and he's still Tidus….just with feelings."

"Feelings?"

"We talked, did you get my text?"

Rikku nodded. "So you two aren't fighting anymore?"

"I think so." Yuna nodded.

"You think you are or think you aren't?"

"I think we aren't."

"So are you two back together?"

"No."

"Oh…but you're friends…with feelings."

Yuna chuckled. "I still don't know, but we aren't fighting so I think that's good."

"Well you seem…the same? How come you're not all bouncy?"

Yuna gave it some thought. She hadn't really noticed until Rikku pointed it out. She still felt crumby for some reason; it led her to wonder what the real issue here was. "I don't know…"

"Do you…love him still? I mean are you _in_ love with him?"

"I love him, it's just that these last couple months have had me thinking a lot."

"About?"

"About being without…"

"But you want to be with him…but you don't?"

Yuna made a face. "Does that sound crazy?"

Rikku shrugged. "A little…"

"He says I confuse him."

"Everything confuses Tidus."

"Yeah but I don't want to be one of those things. I want to know, I want to give him an answer and I want him in my life but I just don't know how. Sometimes I feel like even though the discussion on moving with him is over I feel a pressure there to still say something, to still do something. He's …" Yuna just shook her head as they moved up in the long line. "Without him I feel…sick?" Rikku nodded. "But then being with him just hurts in this nagging way…I don't know."

"Everything will work itself out. You two should just enjoy how simple life can be right now, how amazing and pretty the flowers are this time of year, how it always smells like rain…you guys should enjoy that because tomorrow is never promised and I know you love him, and he loves you, times can just complicated because we think we're too young to experience feelings like this, we think that there is something else out there when really we're just really super lucky. Lucky Yunie. Think of this situation of the luckiest one. How many girls get to say that they really know love? I mean just look outside right now Yunz. how can you be sad when everything is just so…" Rikku sighed. "Beautiful."

Yuna laughed. "Was it _that_ good?"

"Oh my gosh yes." Rikku answered quickly. "I didn't think it was physically possible to have a 'gasm that many times, but I stand before you today a changed woman, Yunie Shaw." Rikku nodded seriously and Yuna couldn't help but continue to laugh. She put her arm around Rikku's shoulders a very genuine feeling of happiness spilling from the blonde and onto her.

"C'mon cous' let's get go a smoothie and then enjoy the beauty."

##

_**I miss you and it isn't even twelve yet…. :(**_

Paine got the text on her way to her next class and it made her smile.

_**I can't stop thinking about you.**_

She got into her class and took a seat before immediately pulling out her phone and waiting for a reply. She furrowed her brows when she got none.

Across campus Rikku's face twisted. You see the names "Pypo" and "Pops" were dangerously close to one another in her texting log and she was amazed something like this hadn't happened yet…until it happened that is.

Cid raised an eyebrow at the text he got from his daughter. It was random, and he briefly wondered if she were in trouble with the law or had done something terribly wrong but then he just smiled and texted her back

_**I love you too,**_ _**so zafam :)**_

Rikku smiled more than she thought she would. When did he learn to make a smiley? "Aw shucks." She shook her head at herself and decided to text her brother the same thing.

_**Ymfyoc pypo cec **_

After getting his response she decided to text Yuna…and then her uncle….and then everyone. She thought it would be nice to let everyone know just how much she appreciated them.

Baralai caught up with Paine an hour later outside of the chemistry building. "_You're my favorite one of Paine's exes, and I'm so happy we're friends xoxo_…oooox.."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Rikku?"

"Yeah, kinda sweet of her."

"She's been on this kick about letting everyone know she loves them. It's like she thinks she's dying or something."

Lai chuckled as he slipped his cell phone back into his pocket. "Well I'm assuming you got your text already."

Paine smiled dreamily. "Smoothing like that."

"So uh…how's Gippal?"

Paine paused. "You haven't been to see him yet have you?" The snowy hair boy shook his head. "I thought you two kissed and made up?"

"We have..I mean not literally of course."

"Of course."

"It's just that I'd feel weird…y'know like, what am I supposed to say?"

"Nothing, show up and just sit with him for a little bit."

"Elma gave me her number."

Paine stopped dead and her tracks and turned around. "Elma Mennichey?"

"Sure." Lai shrugged.

"What do you mean sure?"

"Well I don't know her last name Paine."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Look Lai….I know things can be…confusing." He rolled his eyes this time. "But Elma is off limits."

"Says who?"

"Says like the whole fucking universe. She and Gippal are a thing."

"A thing? Really? How come no one ever tells me these things!?"

##

"Uh oh." Rikku laughed as she approached Paine Thursday afternoon at the student run coffee shop. Her girlfriend had a very large thing of coffee, a half eaten bagel, school work opened but a pen nowhere to be found and the tell tale sign that all was not right. She had her right hand in her hair as she leaned over reading the material. Rikku slipped into her seat across from her with a banana nut muffin and a juice box. "Should you really be drinking that much coffee after noon?"

"No." Paine shrugged as she took a sip of the soothing liquid.

"What's wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?" Paine asked.

"Well you have that grumpy lip thing going on for one…"

Paine pursed her lips self consciously. "What lip thing?"

Rikku imitated it near perfectly. "You pout, but it's not an aw I'm cute please give another cookie pout, it's more of a leave me the fuck alone pout… and then you scrunch up your eyebrows like this." Rikku furrowed her brows to complete Paine's pouty face. "So again I'm going to ask, what's wrong?"

Paine sighed. There were many perks to having someone know you so well, but then there were the pitfalls like this one where she couldn't just shrug Rikku off. "I'm stressed out."

Rikku nodded and opened her box apple juice. "Mhm."

"I got a call from Tony the landlord…the Conley apartment we both liked?"

"What did he say?"

"He said I could come as soon as today to sign the lease."

"Paine that's amazing!"

"No, it's not."

Rikku's face fell. "Why I thought you liked that place…"

"I do…it's just that I have to write a big ass check and that just makes me nervous as hell, because I'm totally broke after it, and I still have to pay a lab fee in one class, and then cap and gowns go on sale next week and then sure the agency called me back for another show but I feel trapped, and to top all this shit off my lab partner Phil got the TA to give him an IC because he wants to take time off for his 'music' and now I have to do the entire GI reconstruction project by myself, which by the way is due next week too. I'm fucked, and because of that I'm drinking all the coffee I want because it's the only thing stopping me from dropping out."

Rikku nodded slowly. "Okay."

Paine motioned to her. "How was your day?"

"Well…I had class it was okay, those quizzes aren't graded yet. I bought your birthday gift…although now that I think about It should probably get you caffeine patches." She joked and Paine smiled a little. "What can I do?"

"What can you do?"

"Yeah, I wanna help."

Paine shook her head. "I appreciate the thought babe but I just have to put my head down and take care of business."

Rikku frowned. "Well at least let me be there for something…"

"You right here and right now is all I need." Paine said honestly finally taking her full attention from her work and looking at Rikku. "And you look nice today so it's a bonus."

Rikku smiled. "Aw." She reached for Paine's hand on the table. "Since we're being honest can I tell you something?"

"Hm?"

"Last night I missed you next to me." Paine began to smile that rare completely adorable smile that made Rikku's heart skip. "I missed how you hold me and I missed how you smelt, it was crazy, my bed is so big pypo."

"Well my beds not that big but it's just not the same without you."

They smiled.

"Pypo." Rikku whined sweetly.

Paine chuckled. "What?"

She sighed contently. "Just…I don't know."

"I do."

"You do?" Paine nodded. "What?"

Paine shrugged cutely. "I'll tell you later."

Rikku laughed. "Okay. Can I stay over tonight?"

"By me? My room is a mess and I work late."

Rikku shrugged. "I don't care."

Paine smiled. "Alright."

They sat there just talking until it was time for Paine to clock into work. Rikku walked her and then said her goodbye before heading home and getting a small overnight bag packed and then watching a little TV with her father.

She soon found herself in the place she couldn't stop thinking about since Monday night; in Paine's arms. They were standing in the center of her room kissing slowly; Paine's hands were wrapped around her small waist with her right hand lower than the left. Rikku's hands were around Paine's mid back. "I want you again." she whispered surprising even herself.

"That's real good." The taller woman breathed.

Rikku laughed. "Why?" She questioned in a tone that suggested she knew why.

"Because I've wanted you again since Tuesday." Paine murmured.

Rikku used her fingertip to trace Paine's cheekbones and the contours of her Moore nose. "Tell me something."

"What?"

"What you were going to tell me earlier..how you know something…"

Paine smiled a little. "I know that I'm in love with Rikku Bayla, and I want you, not just tonight, but every day and in every way. Now let me do you."

Rikku laughed and playfully hit her shoulder. "Paine!" Paine grinned and backed her up to her bed. "You're always ruining the moment with that mouth of yours!"

"This mouth can make it better." She purred.

"Can't you try and be a little romantic or something…."

"Romantic?" Paine asked and Rikku nodded while trying to contain her laugh. "Hm…romantic..romantic…" Paine looked about her room. "Alright." She pulled open a drawer at her nightstand and rummaged through it.

"Pai I was just jokin-awww." She smiled when Paine pulled out her Zippo and two old candles that were mainly there for when the summer came around and there street was the last in the city to get turned back on whenever a power outage happened.

Paine made sure anything flammable wasn't beside them when she lit them and then straightened up. "Romantic." She nodded with a child like smile. Rikku could tell she was proud of herself for thinking on her feet.

The blonde nodded in approval. "Romantic."

"Good." Paine walked over and put her arms back around her girlfriend's waist. "Now let's get with the romancing."

Rikku chuckled and wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and looked up at her into her deep auburn eyes. The slight flickering of the flames brought out there ruby qualities. "Paine Kerrigan you are something else you know that?" For all her joking she knew how Paine really felt about their intimacy and that's what made it so light hearted and fun, because the foundation was so strong that Rikku knew they couldn't be swayed even by the strongest of winds.

Paine leaned down and gave her girlfriend a tender kiss. "I love you." She mumbled quietly.

Rikku felt her knees grow weak. Paine probably didn't even know what she was capable of. She sniffled lightly as their eyes stayed locked on one another's; the model brushed her cheek as a precaution. "I love you."

##

Paine sighed contently and ran a hand through her bed head as she entered the kitchen in her soon to be old apartment. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a loaf of bread, some bologna, one of Gippal's heirloom tomatoes, and some Dijon mustard.

Her girl wanted a sandwich; well she'd get the best damn sandwich this side of Berkshire.

That's just how Paine rolled.

She toasted the bread and then cut a thin slice of tomato before heating it up by it with olive oil then threw the bologna in the pan with it. She spread just the right amount of mustard onto one side of the toast and then put the rest of the sandwich together. She got out a large tumbler and filled it with water and headed back upstairs with the sandwich cut on the diagonal.

Rikku's eyes widened and she was pretty sure she was drooling when Paine reentered the room with their post sex meal. "E tuh'd tacanja oui." She praised as Paine set the plate down on her sheets and the water on the nightstand beside the candles that were still burning, they were beginning to spill wax onto her nightstand, she blew them out then watched as Rikku bit into the snack and moaned as she threw her head back and closed her eyes. "So goood."

The older of the two chuckled and sat down on the bed to take her half. They ate quietly for a few moments, sharing the large tumbler of water and glancing at one another from time to time. "Do you want a pickle? I forgot the pickle." Paine started to get up and Rikku stopped her.

"No no no, I'm good; you sit here with me while we let this digest."

Paine sat back down. "Realistically it won't digest fully until tomorrow afternoon…" She shrugged at the look Rikku gave her.

"Did you know when I was little science was my least favorite class?"

Paine chuckled. "Really? Not math?"

"Ha ha, no, not math. Science because of all the rules and theories that weren't proven but still regarded as fact by a bunch of geezers no less…Now that I think about that could be said for anything besides art."

Paine watched her thoughtful face before nodding. "You've been sketching more…"

She nodded.

"More naked pictures?"

Rikku laughed. "No, but I did end up finishing that one of you, remember when Viddy was born?"

"Oh yeah? Fuck where is it?"

Rikku giggled. "In my closet, don't want Pops finding that thing, he might get a crush."

"Gross."

"Hey hey, my Pops was quite the looker back in the day."

"Your mom was a hottie."

"Hey!"

"So I can talk about Cid but not your mom?" Paine laughed.

"People say that I look exactly like her—"

"You do."

"—I don't like that, I wanna look like Rikku…not Tahla or Milana or anyone else."

Paine smiled at her. "Well…you have a Bayla smile…which she does not."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play blonde." Rikku gave her a cheeky look and Paine laughed before leaning over and stealing a kiss. "Let's lay down." Rikku nodded in agreement and they moved the plate onto Paine's desk before getting into the small bed together. As always Rikku was closest to the wall and Paine on the edge. She wrapped her arms around Rikku's scantily clad body and kissed the back of her neck as they got comfortable. "It means that when you smile you become your own person completely. You're not her, and everyone knows it. But you do resemble her quite a bit which believe me is not bad."

"Like you and your Momma?"

"Keira? You think we look alike?"

"Paine you two could be twins! Everything, she walks like you, and stands like you, and she's a little posh—"

"A little? She's Bevellian."

"Yeah but you have the exact same eye shape, hair, smile and lips…you have her lips."

"Why are you looking at her lips?"

"She's a pretty lady!"

"You have a crush on my mother…."

"Only because you have a crush on mine!"

" Un-fuckingbelievable "

"Oh shush." Rikku giggled as she pulled Paine's arms to hug her closer.

"Well…I haven't seen it, but I'm sure your mom had a nice ass…." Paine patted Rikku affectionately on the ass before leaving her hand on her lower hip loving the way the warmth of her skin could be felt through the shorts she was wearing.

"Paine!" Rikku turned her head around to look at how she snickered. "I mean she's dead, have some respect."

Paine hugged her girlfriend closer. "I'm sorry Princess…."

"Is she the Queen?"

Paine only laughed. "Shh let's sleep."

"Hmph."

"Oh c'mon."

"You're lucky I love your stupid self."

"I know I am."

"Snuggle me closer, I feel needy now." Rikku pouted.

Paine chuckled and but her leg around Rikku's and moved her arm to hold her around the stomach. "Better?"

Rikku yawned but nodded. "Yes." Paine sighed contently again and they both just laid there enjoying one another company and warmth. "Thank you for making me food, Pypo."

"Anytime baby." Paine replied quietly.

"I spent the whole day telling everyone that I loved and appreciated them, and then I got a smoothie made just right, and then hung out a little bit with Pops…and then I spent the night here, with you, my love. I'm a very lucky girl." Rikku realized with another yawn.

Paine cleared her throat a little bit. "I think we're both lucky."

"Yeah…we really are….Pai?"

Paine had closed her eyes. "Hm?"

"Keira keeps a baby picture of you on her person?" She asked randomly as if the thought had just returned in her mind.

"Yeah."

"That's real sweet Pai."

"You think so?"

Rikku nodded. "Pops has a 'T' and an 'M' on each Achilles heel."

"Really? Like a tattoo?" Rikku nodded "M for Milan, T for…?"

"Turin. Brother's middle name."

"I've been thinking of getting a tattoo…"

"What!? Where?" Rikku turned her head to look at Paine with her eyes closed.

"To cover my scar…"

"You really don't like it huh? You were a hero…"

"I wasn't a hero I was an idiot, I could have gotten both Big Mack and I killed."

Rikku turned back to face the wall. "Well I remember a time where you thought it was the right thing to do."

"I'd do it a thousand times over, that hasn't changed."

Rikku smiled a little. "I like it."

"What?"

"Your scar."

"Why?"

Rikku shrugged. "It's a part of you now."

"Where are you going to put your 'Pypo' tattoo?"

"On my butt." She could feel Paine chuckle behind her.

"Good, let's go tomorrow first thing."

Rikku shared in the small bit of sleepy laughter. It was obvious they were both fading into separate sleeps. Rikku sighed and she supposed it wasn't one of her normal ones because it caused Paine to squeeze her gently and whisper that she was right here and everything would be okay.

##

"I wonder what Ellen would think of you staking me." Keira muttered as she pulled her coat closer to her body. It was a cold night for the season and she had just gotten out of another late read through with Carlo and a few of her other cast members. They didn't have to come in tomorrow so they were all staying late to have a drink. Keira didn't feel like drinking so she decided to call it a night.

Paul sighed heavily and watched his breath come out in a little white cloud. "If you would just give me the time of day."

"Well it's nighttime so try again tomorrow. Or wait.." She paused and turned to look at him. "Then everyone would see you with me." Keira gave him a look she knew he understood before tucking some of her stray hair behind her ears and adjusting her hands in her gloves.

"Ellen won't talk to me, Lulu won't talk to me. I mean my own friend Braska is avoiding me—"

"I don't blame them Paul. You lied; you lied for twenty one years."

"If you were in my position you would have done the same thing."

"I would have kept my daughter and dealt with the consequences of my actions if I were in your position." With that she turned to head to catch the train to her apartment nearby.

Paul walked with her for about a block before they made it to the subway entrance. "I called you because I needed to talk."

Keira paused at the descending steps and turned to look at him, her cheeks were a little red from the chill and her eyes were tired. She took in his scruffy appearance, his five o'clock shadow, his frumpily clothes, his wary crimson eyes. "Let me make myself clear to you Paul. I loved you once, we have a child, and that is the only reason I am even giving you my time right now. Despite how everyone feels you are in direct control of your life, only you. I have no pity for you Paul Moore, nor do I want to talk to you. We are not friends, you have made it very clear that you do not wish to be my friend within the last twenty years of no communication, understand that please. Because of you and my own stupidity I screwed up my perfect little girl's life, and that is something I am learning to deal with, and I prefer to learn that on my own." She tucked her hands into her deep coat. "I'm not the person you once knew, and as far as Paine Amelia is concerned it is a real shame we were so ill prepared, if you would step aside from your bruised ego you would see that she's actually quite brilliant, and she did not get that from me I assure you." The ground began to hum and the unmistakable sound of the train coming to a stop was heard from the muggy entrance. "Now if you'd excuse me, I have a train to catch, goodnight."

##

"Yeahhhh." Paine laughed at Vidina's newest accomplishment. "That's funny right?" His gummy mouth was wide and his eyes filled with mirth as he was finally smiling fully, laughing little baby half breaths and now supporting more of his head than the last time they saw him. Paine looked up at Rikku sitting beside her. "Keep reading Rikks."

"Black bear black bear looking at me, tell me who do you see? I see a Sheepy sheep lookin' at me!" Vidina squealed and kicked in Paine's arms in his little "My daddy's a blitzer" onesie.

Paine laughed. "It doesn't say sheepy sheep."

Rikku held the children's book close to her chest. "Look I have to make this interesting for the little guy okay? I made an executive decision."

"Yeah yeah." On the coffee table before them Paine's cell phone began to ring. She turned to Rikku. "I gotta get that, hold him?"

"Oh my goodness look at his little teeny tiny fingers!" Rikku cooed as she accepted the little bundle of laughter without hesitation. "Fryd lyh oui belg ib fedr druca meddma ryhtc? Oui lyh'd belg ib yhodrehk...syopa ouin huca. Oui kuhhy belg puukanc Vidina?" Vidina began to giggle and Rikku kissed his little face which made the little boy color at the tips of his cheeks. "You like that word huh? Puukanc." She laughed with him and tickled his nose with one finger.

Paine only smiled at her girlfriend as she picked her phone up. "Don't tell him to pick his boogers." Rikku sent Paine an amused little look before going back to speaking to Vidina Mateo in Al Bhed. "Kerrigan." Paine answered. "Hello…?" She asked again when no one answered. She glanced at the phone to see if it was still connected.

"Paine?"

"Who the fuck is this?"

"Pypo! Fydlr ouin suidr meddma pypeac yna mega cbuhkac!" Rikku actually looked upset.

Paine sent her an apologetic look and waited for the person to respond.

"It's Paul… Moore." He had heard the baby like laughter in the background and couldn't speak for a moment. He knew it had to be his grandson. Lulu had named him Vidina Mateo, and that's all he knew. He hadn't seen him in the youngsters three months of life and it was really tearing him apart, but not as much as this. "Hello?"

Paine just sat there not knowing what to say. "What do you want?" Rikku looked up from playing with Vidina. Her tone had changed drastically.

"I wanted to talk."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes."

"Well talk."

"Well I ….don't think we should speak over the phone."

"Right your wife might catch you… Listen to me very carefully _Dad_… go fuck yourself." And with that she hung up in true Paine Kerrigan style, She didn't dare turn and look at Rikku but she felt the blonde's eyes on her. Just then her phone began to ring again. "What!?"

Keira made a face. "Paine?"

Paine stood from the sofa not wanting say anymore bad words in front of Vidina. She took a couple of steps toward the kitchen. "Did you fucking give him my number?"

"Who?"

"Paul!"

"Paul called you?" She was just as surprised as Paine. "When?"

"Two seconds ago."

"Wow…"

"Wow? Wow is all you have to say?"

"Well I am surprised; wow is usually the appropriate…"

"Did you give him my number Keira?" Her voice was stern.

"I did not." She answered in a mirrored tone.

Paine ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh. The line was quiet for a few minutes.

"What did he say?" The singer ventured.

"Said he wanted to talk."

"And you told him to…what was it? _Fuck off_?"

A smile actually made a quick appearance on Paine's face. "Something to that nature."

"Hm…well I called to see if you and your friends wanted some tickets to our spring production, but now that I think about it I will be seeing you later yes?"

"Um…sometime this weekend or early next week."

"Okay."

"…You didn't give him my number."

"I am fighting my own battle right now. I don't think I can fight his too Paine Amelia."

"But you think I should talk to him."

"I think you should do what you need to do."

"But in therapy you said he wasn't a bad guy."

"He isn't."

"He got you pregnant and left you with nothing."

"_We_ got me pregnant, and yes he has made some undesirable choices…"

"Undesirable."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to say what you actually mean, he's not you fucking best friend is he?"

"No, he's not even a friend if you must know."

"I must."

"I don't think so."

"Why are you defending him?"

"He's still your father at the end of the day, what business do I have tearing him down with you as if you and I are school girls? This is life Paine."

"Yeah whatever." Paine hung up and groaned. She grabbed her leather jacket on the back of the sofa and looked at Rikku and Vidina. Vidina was no longer laughing but looking up at Paine curiously. Something seemed wrong to him, he didn't have to be a year old to know tension. "How long till Lulu comes back?"

Rikku raised an eyebrow at her. "Neither one of them is in this room and you are running?"

She pointed to herself. "I'm not fu…" She exhaled "I'm not running Rikku."

"So then sit back down and play with your nephew. We'll handle this when we leave."

They stared at one another. Paine knew little Vidina had nothing to do with this, and he had been enjoying Rikku's rendition of _Brown Bear Brown Bear_ very much. She sat back down she glanced at the clock before looking back to Vidina and picking up the colorful book Rikku had traded for the youngster in her arms. Rikku nodded and brought Vidina closer so he could see the pictures. "Sheepy Sheep Sheepy sheep what do you see?" Paine glanced up at Rikku who smiled encouragingly at her. Paine looked back Vidina. "What do we see here Viddy? Looks like a chicken right?... I see a chocobo looking at me." She turned the page. "Chocobo chocobo what do you see?" Her tone had finally softened and though hesitant, Vidina was smiling and laughing again in no time.


	54. Chapter 54

**AN: Where were you last year today? I was sitting here fretting over a title for this while Tommy James &The Sondells jammed in the background to one of my favorite songs. **

**And then it hit me….**

**Crimson and Clover!**

**So many meanings, yet so simple…Anyway today one year ago I put myself out there with this fic. I hadn't been writing for a while and this was my first Femslash published on here so I was nervous as hell to see how it was received or if it was received at all, the response has been more than I can hope for and I just wanted to say thanks for an amazing year. For all the constructive criticism and encouragement, for dealing with my "defiantly" and "definitely" mix ups along with countless others. Writing for you all has been one of my most sincerest pleasures. **

**KathleenDee**

**Chapter Fifty Four**

Paine smiled softly at the image before her.

Rikku hadn't noticed her enter the living room yet. She sat with Vidina wrapped up in her arms with his little eyes closed and his arms reaching for her in a sleepy attempt to hold onto consciousness. The blonde was whispering something to him in Al Bhed, it was melodic, like a lullaby almost but with spoken words. She took Vidina's little hand with her right hand and tucked it down to his chest as she leaned forward and planted a little kiss on his hand then his nose. "Cdub vekrdehk drec, oui ghuf E's kuhhy feh ." Paine heard her murmur.

Lulu appeared at Paine's side just then causing Rikku to look up at them both. "Is he asleep?" Lulu asked in a quieted tone.

Rikku nodded. "Come say bye Pai." she whispered as she slowly rose from her seat. The time had finally come to leave the sanctuary of a new family bond and be pushed out into the world where it didn't really matter if her nephew by proxy loved her little lullabies or not.

Paine walked over and took one of his little fingers gently. "Bye bye Viddy." She whispered before leaning down and hesitating.

Lulu smiled and Rikku giggled. "Go ahead, we won't tell anyone you kissed a baby." Paine glanced at her girlfriend's words and leaned the rest of the distance to kiss him on his fuzzy red head. After she backed up and slipped her hands into her pockets in what Rikku assumed was an effort to redeem her tough image.

"I'll put him down then walk the two of you out." Lulu said as she reached for her son. "Ah what's this?" Lulu asked softly when Vidina opened his eyes a little to see if his suspicions were correct and Mommy was taking control of the situation. He loved the other two faces a lot, they were fun, stimulating and a definite source of comfort and safety, but this was his Mommy and he had come to realize in his short life that Mommy was important. "You want the air on for your nap?" Lulu asked him as if he would respond with his request for the ultimate napping conditions. "Well you're a little warm so I think we should go with the air…" Lulu walked off.

Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's right arm and sighed as she leaned her head on her shoulder.

"No babies." Paine half teased while looking down to her side at the shorter woman.

"So you think." Rikku laughed a little, she sighed again then looked up at Paine. "You okay?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah…Vidina helped…a lot." She nodded again as if to confirm her own thoughts.

"Good." Rikku kissed Paine's shoulder before letting go of her arm and looking for her purse.

Lulu appeared just then. "How was he?"

Paine shrugged. "The usual."

Rikku chuckled. "Cute and cuddly, he was laughing up a storm today."

Lulu nodded. "He and his father think everything is just hilarious now, you should see them both just laughing like that. Paine what of Pa?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know but…" She shrugged again. "Lulu I think you should speak to him if you want, I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to even hear his voice without getting upset if that at all."

Lulu shook her head lightly. "It doesn't feel right. You aren't just a thing he can brush off…Punishment doesn't seem right either though… Consider what we spoke about?" Paine nodded. "That's all I can ask. Here." She motioned to the door and the trio walked toward it. "When is Vidina going to see the two of you again?"

"Well we're moving Paine into her new place this weekend so sometime next week hopefully?" Rikku slipped on her light suede jacket and looked at Paine.

"Yeah."

"Dinner?"

"That'd be fun. Have you spoken to Yunie?" Rikku asked as she waited for Paine to get her leather jacket on.

"I have, she and Tidus spoke?"

Rikku nodded. "Apparently."

"Hm, we'll have to get lunch, the three of us." Lulu glanced at Paine. "So we can talk hm?"

Paine made an amused face. "I'm not worried."

Rikku took Paine's hand and gave her a look that told to keep her thoughts to herself. "Bye Lulu!"

"See yuh Lulu."

The two walked down to Paine's car hand in hand without a word. "I miss him already!" Rikku exclaimed as she got into the passenger seat in the dark blue two door.

Paine reached over her lap to get her shades from out of the glove compartment. "Yeah." She put them on and glanced at Rikku to make sure she was buckled up before starting the car.

"So c'mon…" The sooner they talked about this the sooner should could help before Paine got so deep into her own mind that there was no coming out.

Paine glanced at Rikku again and chuckled. "Fuck Rikku I don't know." She looked around to pull her car out of park.

"So you're just gonna not think about what caused him to call? I'm kinda curious, you think Keira spoke to him?"

"She said she didn't give him my number."

"So who did?"

Paine shrugged and put her indicator on to make a turn. "Are you hungry?"

"Food!? Oui'na drehgehk ypuid vuut?"

Paine laughed a little and rubbed at the back of her neck. "As far as I'm concerned he still doesn't exist. He was… he knew who I was Rikku, that's the only thing that detaches me from this. I don't give a fuck about him because he never gave a fuck about me. I'm not gonna sit down with him and pretend to listen to his excuses on why he wasn't there, because there are none. He didn't get pregnant, he wasn't poor, he was a coward, and the only reason I'm alive today was because Keira saved the abortion money he gave her to buy me diapers. Are you understanding?" Her calm tone was what surprised Rikku the most. Either she was seething underneath, or she was just that over this and was beginning to rationalize like a healthy individual. "Fuck him…"

Rikku raised an eyebrow.

Maybe it was both

"Pypo."

Paine felt Rikku's hand at the back of her head playing with the hair there. "Yeah?"

"What did Lulu say?"

"She…Babe I'm driving." Paine shook her head a little.

Rikku laughed and moved her hand from her hair quickly. "I forgot." Paine was putty in her hands when she played with her hair, and putty can't drive so there was that.

"She wants us to sit down with him and at least establish that I don't want to know him, she said it would be good for everyone… no confusion."

"Makes sense."

"I guess but I don't know if I'm ready or even if I'm willing, That's her Dad y'know?" Paine shook her head. "Not mine."

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit but I can understand."

Paine shrugged. "…I feel like having Al Bhed food." She held Rikku's gaze for a second but then laughed to herself ad looked away from the look Rikku just gave her. "C'mmonnn."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "…Stop by that one market on 6th."

"Yes!" Paine happily re-routed.

##

Cid walked into the den late that night to find Paine and Rikku awake watching a movie. Well, Rikku was watching the movie; Paine appeared to be sleeping in the recliner chair. They were both bathed in the light from the television and Cid briefly wondered how Paine slept with the light in her face. She was covered with a blanket and had a kiss lip gloss stain on her cheek he was sure from his daughter's mischievous habits.

The young lady in question was laying with her head on the sofa's arm rest wrapped up in her blanket from her bed.

"Milan." Cid whispered.

Rikku picked her head up and smiled. "Hey Pop."

Cid motioned to a sleeping Paine. "Why don't you sleep?"

Rikku glanced at Paine and then to her father. "I have to wake her up in twenty minutes."

"Why?"

"Well…" Rikku glanced back at Paine who had shifted. The artist got up and walked with her father into the kitchen. "She has to take her medication…"

Cid nodded slowly. "Oh."

"And that's officially when she can get into her new apartment. She signed the lease today after we saw Vidina."

"How is the little guy?"

"Cute, he makes me wanna have babies Pop." Rikku gushed a little.

Cid laughed and rubbed a hand to his head. "Milan please." He was definitely not ready to be a grandfather.

Rikku laughed too. "Paine has the same reaction."

Cid raised an eyebrow but kept his comment to himself. "I think you should be focusing on you right now."

"I am, I am."

"Have you heard back from any schools?" Cid crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.

"Um..no, that's… next week."

He nodded. "You know I have to say I am proud of you for pursuing more schooling."

"Besides Law school?"

Cid shrugged. "I always thought you'd make a fine litigator, you know that."

"Well I'm a Bayla Pop."

Cid smiled. "Of course."

"My friend Ormi got into NLU's Law program but he declined to go to Guadosalam."

"He made it there too?"

Rikku nodded. "Everyone is leaving."

"Where will you be going?"

"Um….I don't know if I want to leave—"

"Don't tell me it it's because of Paine, Milan. I'm sure she'd want you o get the best education possible."

Rikku rolled her eyes at how he immediately jumped to that without hearing any of her to her concerns, yes Paine was a huge factor, but Rikku was still herself and there were things she really liked about New Luca . "Pop The Mi'ihen Institute is a great school."

"But if you get into Bevelle?"

Rikku looked elsewhere.

Cid watched her facial expression and sighed. She looked so much like her mother when she made that face. "You have an enormous potential and so much has happened this year—"

"I don't even know if I got in."

"But you will, because you're great."

"Pops can you just try and not control something in my life? Is that possible?"

"You're getting upset." He read.

"Well I mean yeah. I can make my own decisions…."

"I just don't want you to make the mistake your brother made."

"Brother is happy."

"Yes but what happens when he blows out his knee? Or gets injured he has nothing to fall back on. I want the best for you both."

"So help him. I'm fine!"

"Milan—"

"E's seccehk so sujea." She mumbled as she turned to re-enter the den. He was truly a special person; among the elite that could really get under her skin. For all the looks she still got at school, and the upturned noses directed toward her when she was dressed nicely out on a date beside Paine who'd rather just wear jeans. None of these people mattered or fazed her, but Cidney Bayla could give her a look and say a few innocent well guided statements and that's it. She was upset. Rikku glanced over at Paine and sighed with a soft smile. The lip gloss she had kissed onto Paine's cheek was sheered onto her exposed shoulder now.

It was because he was always right.

She hated that he was right.

##

"Do you like these red ones or the black ones?"

Paine shrugged.

"That's not an answer….what about these?"

She looked down at the full bed sheet set. "Why is it fifty dollars?"

Rikku rubbed the plastic sack as if to rub she sheet itself. "Because these are a higher thread count than the other ones, but they're white remember that…ooh! How about these?" Rikku moved on. "So many great things on sale today." She said to herself with a shake of the head.

"Fifty dollars is a sale?"

"For Besaidian fabric, it's quite a sale actually…what about this nice coral color?" Rikku showed her another sheet set.

Paine sighed. "This white one?"

"No, this _coral_ one."

Paine motioned to the one in Rikku's hands. "This one right here? The white one?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Yes this white one, what do you think?"

"How much is it?"

"Seventy."

"I don't like it." Paine hated this Yevon forsaken department store. It didn't help that it was Rikku favorite place in the world. She knew this fact because the blonde had announced it merrily on their way in two fucking hours ago.

"You know that you not helping me is just going to make this take way longer than it needs to." Rikku already knew her girlfriend was cranky, but she was the one who had to pick some stuff up, not Rikku. Paine had just gotten a full size bed frame from the empty room in her old apartment where no one was living from Joyce, and had to buy sheets for the mattress she just bought to put on it along with some other miscellaneous things that she didn't realize she didn't have until they finished moving in all her things, which wasn't a lot, it only took about one car trip in both their cars.

"Well baby just pick one under fifty dollars that you like."

"Why am I picking one? This is your bed!"

"Alright and you're the only one I share it with and I could care less so pick." Paine crossed her arms.

"Well..." Rikku looked back to the sheet sets. There were just so many possibilities. "How do you want the room to flow?"

Paine raised an eyebrow. "There will be a bed a nightstand and a dresser…."

"Well okay but we can make it so it seems roomier."

"You're making this more complicated than it needs to be."

"It's your first room ever in your first own adult place, this is important, you don't have to settle for the default Pypo."

"I'm going to look in the kitchen section…" Paine began to walk off. Rikku watched her leave and shook her head. After fifteen minutes the two regrouped near the sheets. Paine was holding a coffee maker under her arm and a few pots in the other. She greeted Rikku with a "hey" and then put them into the cart before she noticed that her beloved had finally decided on a bed sheet. She looked up at her girlfriend. "What the fuck?"

"You said I could choose." Rikku shrugged while she tried to maintain an air of innocence.

Paine pulled the hot pink sheet set out of the cart. "You really like fucking with me." Rikku began to giggle. "Fine, I'll pick since you are just going to mess around."

Rikku walked over to her girlfriend who was putting the child's sheet set away. She placed a hand on her back and rubbed it gently knowing how the action soothed her. "Stop being so grumpy, look; tell me what you think of this one." Rikku showed Paine one she had hidden so no one else would take it. It was a simple cream colored comforter with one thick stripe in a darker cream, slightly off center, and the fitted sheets and pillow cases were maroon. Paine took the set in her hands and nodded. "Now kiss me and say sorry."

Paine put the sheet set in the cart. "Why?"

"Because you didn't trust me, I know what you like."

Paine sighed and looked around briefly before leaning down and giving Rikku a peck on the lips. "Sorry…can we leave now?"

"I have to buy a new bikini in the mall." She began walking along side Paine as she pushed the cart toward check out.

"You have a thousand bikini's, it's a want not a need."

"A coffee maker is a want not a need."

Paine raised a brow. "No it's a need."

Rikku chuckled and leaned her elbow on Paine's shoulder as they waited in line. It was Saturday mid day and everyone and their moms were out enjoying the warmer weather and getting some shopping done. They had spent the better part of the morning at Paine's "old" apartment eating breakfast with Elma and Big Mack. Rikku smiled to herself at the memory of Paine fussing over the little girl and Elma fussing over her before she left her keys behind. She was really leaving a family there and the drive to her new home seemed that more momentous. Rikku didn't want Paine to be lonely there at her new place, it was something she started to worry about but Paine reassured her that she was used to the solitude, she actually preferred it, still though, a girl could worry. Rikku yawned and Paine put an arm around her midsection for a small squeeze before letting go. "You wanna take a nap by me?"

Rikku smiled at how nice it would be to just be completely alone with Paine. Even though they were alone most times when they were at her house this was different, this was at Paine's apartment. And everything was the way she liked it when it came down to letting her hair down and relaxing; simple. When she was younger she even had clothes set aside for leisure, and even those were expensive. Her favorite thing to see…besides Paine's eyes, abs, legs, boobs, and thighs… Was her girlfriend in a pair of baggy sweats that hung at the waist, and a v-neck. That look meant that she was relaxed, unguarded, and playful. It was their time to enjoy being the young couple that they were without any real worries about the world or their problems.

"Yeah, we have to go to the grocery still though."

Paine nodded. "I know, I made a list, all I really need is cereal…"

Rikku chuckled. "Paine you have nothing in your fridge, you need more than just cereal."

"Oh damn…" She pulled a small slip of paper out of her back pocket. "And coffee filters now too huh?" Rikku smiled and shook her head.

After packing up Rikku's car they drove over to what would be Paine's new grocery store. It was a lot nicer than the corner store she usually went to on Crenshaw, but it was also a lot more expensive too. Paine bit the inside of her mouth as she calculated each item in the cart. There was no real word to describe just how broke she was after this last week. She dropped about a hundred and twenty five at Home Goods and now was about to drop another fifty here. She had planned on grabbing a bottle of wine for her and Rikku tonight but she couldn't get it after all. It was a little disappointing but Rikku seemed okay when she mentioned it on the way back to her new place. "So when you come in and stuff you can park here." Paine explained as she pulled Rikku's car into her unit number's spot. "I'll just move my car on the street or around the corner."

"You don't have to do that."

"Well your car is nicer, and I don't think anyone would mess with it here so…park here." Paine nodded and then glanced at Rikku as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "Alright?"

Rikku nodded. "Yeah alright."

"I haven't figured out the neighbors yet babe so I'm sorry if I seem pushy about it. I just don't want anyone fucking with you."

Paine was being her usual protective self, Rikku got that. "I understand." They got out the car.

"And y'know they still haven't fixed the railing yet either…" The two used the elevator to get to the fourth floor and turned right to walk down to the last unit near the staircases. Paine dropped the sheet set from Home Goods and the few groceries in her arms to unlock the door. "After you."

"Look at you." Rikku teased sweetly as she walked through the threshold of the seemingly empty apartment. Paine bent down to pick up the sheet set and went in after her.

"Home sweet home." Rikku smiled and looked over at Paine. "What's wrong?" She asked immediately when she saw how her face seemed to be twisted in pain.

Paine stretched her back a little. "Nothing…um my back just her hurts a little, I must have picked up this stuff wrong." She nodded. "Yeah."

"Well are you sure?"

Paine nodded. "C'mon help me put this on the bed so we can take a break from all this adult stuff." They put away the bit of groceries together, messed around with the new coffee machine and designated cabinets for dishware and canned foods. They moved to the small bedroom where the majority of Paine's things were placed. The full sized mattress was leaning up against the wall still in its plastic, a few boxes were piled in a corner and her nightstand and dresser were in another. The wooden floor from the main rooms of the apartment followed into the cozy bedroom. When you entered there was a decent sized window to the right looking down upon the same street where the little Besadian restaurant Rikku had been eyeing was, and you could also see a bit of Paine's fire escape beside it if you strained.

"Pypo?"

"Mm?" Paine asked as she began to start putting together the metal bed base.

"I was thinking you'd get the most amount of space, while still leaving room for aesthetics if we put the bed here in this corner."

Paine looked up from what she was doing at Rikku. "So I should turn around is what you're saying?"

Rikku nodded. "Well yeah because you walk into the room, this door here is in the bottom right corner of the floor plan, so if you put this bed against the wall right here so when you walk in you have your nightstand right away to your left, and then the bed against the wall. Then where you are right now you'd have space for a rug and your dresser... Maybe some pictures of your girlfriend."

Paine chuckled and stood to rotate the bed base she was constructing. she let it go and it made a clank, Paine cussed at how it probably scuffed the wooden floors already as she pushed it against the wall with the door. "I almost dropped my frame y'know?"

"Which one?"

"The one you got me for Christmas." Paine kneeled down and started to work again.

"Pypo you have to be careful, I'd have to go all the way back to Home to get a new one."

"Almost, I _almost_ dropped it." Paine reiterated. Rikku shook her head lightly and pushed Paine's nightstand into place with her legs lazily. "Baby don't lift anything, I got this okay?"

Rikku rolled her eyes but left Paine alone to do all the "heavy lifting". She knew her girlfriend liked to take care of everything, and even though her nickname Princess was just that, a nickname, Rikku couldn't help but feel Paine really thought she'd get hurt trying to do something mundane. It depended on the situation though, because the other night Paine let Rikku clean the cactar for dinner all by herself claiming that she knew what she was doing because she was Al Bhed…but then she fussed over Rikku like crazy and demanded that she finish the job herself when Rikku accidently pricked her finger…so maybe it wasn't situational.

Paine just liked to take care of her, and Rikku didn't mind at all. She adored Paine's attention, but then who wouldn't?

Rikku moved to hang up Paine's clothes neatly so they would avoid the disaster that was her closet on Crenshaw. "So… how are things?"

Paine didn't respond for a second. "Good babe." Rikku glanced at her just when Paine looked up at her too. "I'm with you right now aren't I?"

"You know you can tell me if you want space to think."

Paine nodded. "I know." She stood and went over to the mattress leaning against the wall and used a box cutter to open it from the plastic. Paine paused and looked across the room at Rikku hanging things up neatly. "I don't want space right now." She admitted before going back to what she was doing as if she had said nothing at all.

##

The light from the window told Rikku it was late evening. There was the usual small hum of the city outside but it was a lot quieter than Paine's old place was and she was beginning to learn cooler too. It helped that Paine still had her arm wrapped around her since her space heater was sitting in the next room in its box. The smell of new bedding was almost overwhelming, but Paine's all natural all Nooj's fault pine smelling shampoo made it tolerable. It was a faint scent, yet suited her girlfriend well. A small yawn escaped Rikku's lips as she moved Paine's arm and turned to face her sleeping beauty.

Eventually Paine woke and found herself staring at a sleepy faced Rikku. She stretched her legs out a little and folded her arms under her pillow. "What are you thinking about?"

Rikku cleared her throat lightly. "Family."

Paine just continued to look at her. "What about them?"

Rikku shrugged. "Just how it's gotten bigger this past year."

Paine smiled a little and just watched her soft features for a moment, truly taking the time to appreciate how beautiful she was in this light, in every light. "I was thinking about that the other day…"

"Were you?"

Paine nodded as much as her pillow would let her. "I don't feel so alone anymore."

"Me either." Rikku admitted. She picked herself up a little and kissed Paine softly. "I like it here." She whispered when they separated.

Paine smirked. "Mmm" She picked herself up again to meet Rikku's lips again. "C'mere baby." She murmured as she pulled Rikku on her lap.

Rikku giggled. "Tell Momma how you want it, Pypo." She joked.

Paine grinned up at her. "I wan' it now."

Rikku laughed and placed a few sweet kisses on her face. "We still have to unpack your things."

Paine shook her head quickly. "Nooo."

Rikku held her arms down lightly. "Yeeesss."

Paine shook her head and rolled them over so she was on top now. "Make me."

Rikku narrowed her eyes playfully and reached for Paine's sides. Paine burst out with laughter and tried to wriggle away but Rikku was too fast with her tickle assault.

It was the most beautiful sound in the quiet apartment. Like a splash of color on a blank canvas.

Rikku loved Paine's laugh.

"Ahh babe! C'mon stop…I'm s-s-serious!" Paine laughed as she fell onto her back.

Rikku took advantage of her girlfriend's weakness the woman probably thought she forgot about and continued to tickle her mercilessly. "What's wrong little Pypo doesn't like tickles?" She taunted.

Paine's face was red and her eyes were glossy with eventual tears. "Rikks! S-stop!"

"Say please!"

"P-p-please!"

"I said please not p-p-please!"

Her only out was obvious. Paine used all her weight to roll over from under Rikku and off the bed and onto the wooden floor with a loud thud. She groaned and held her head."Fuck…"

"Pai!" Rikku jumped up from off the bed almost catching her legs in the sheets and falling herself. "Paine! Oh my gosh Oh my gosh…." Rikku kneeled down beside her and grabbed at her hands to move them to check her head for injury, she wasn't at all expecting Paine to grab her in a fierce judo grappling move and lift her up as she stood. Rikku squealed with laughter as she banged her fists onto Paine's back with no intension of causing harm, just annoyance . "You cheater!"

Paine laughed and tossed Rikku back on her new bed before pulling off her shirt and tossing it aside.

Rikku giggled but it turned into a shriek when Paine joined her. "Hey hey hey!" She backed up and tried to kick her in the shoulder but Paine caught her leg and dragged her forward before falling behind her and pulling Rikku into her arms.

"Mine." she mumbled possessively into the crook of Rikku's shoulder as if someone was threatening to take Rikku away and never give her back.

"I don't play with cheaters, you cheated!" Rikku laughed as she wriggled out of Paine's teddy bear hold.

"Oh baby I don't plan on playing for long." Paine purred into Rikku's neck as her arms snaked around to her bottom this time.

"Paine!"

##

Yuna raised an eyebrow at Rikku. "I'm really starting to worry about your sanity."

"Huh?" Rikku looked up.

Yuna motioned to what the blonde was doing. "You're picking up poop Rikku."

Rikku looked down at Kimahri's droppings and then back up at her cousin. "Yeah?" They were on a walk, it was the responsible thing to do.

"With your bare hands."

Rikku looked down again to what she was about to do and pulled her hands away quickly. "Ewie!"

"Use the bag." Yuna laughed as she handed her cousin the little red doggie waste bag with her free hand, the other was holding Kimahri's brown leash as her large animal friend dug a small hole. "What's going on with you?"

Rikku tossed the little red bag of death into a nearby garbage bag and they continued their walk down the block of their neighborhood. "Geesh."

Yuna laughed. "How are things?"

Rikku slipped her hands into her pockets. "Good good, Paine is good, she's more than good actually, I think this medication thing is actually working, she just seems more like herself, and she's handling her stress a lot better. We uh, we've been talking a lot more and are…" Rikku blushed. "Intimate a lot more. She moved into her new place yesterday remember? It was fun to help her and see her do that…how are you and Tidus?"

Yuna took a big breath of the bright Sunday morning air in and glanced at what she still considered her pup. "We went to dinner yesterday night, it wasn't a date? I think because…well it just wasn't a date but I don't know if it's in the water or something but he seems a lot more…interested?"

"Interested in you?"

"No I mean just interested in general."

"So it wasn't a date…?"

Yuna shrugged. "I don't think so."

Rikku smiled. "Lulu wants to get together to dish."

Yuna laughed. "Oh we must do that today, what are you doing today?"

Rikku shook her head. "Nothing really. Paine is busy all day doing her own thing, I haven't even gotten my good morning text yet can you believe this chick?"

"The nerve."

"I know!"

##

"You look horrible." Paine smiled and rested a hand on Gippal's shoulder. His hair was still short and he was clean shaved, it made him look a lot skinner than he actually was but at least his eyes were back to their normal hue and he wasn't throwing up as much anymore. For a moment there the doctors were worried he'd throw up so much that it would cause hydrochloric acid to burn his esophagus.

"How the fuck are yuh?" Gippal asked as he sat up and motioned to the nurse that he was ready to go for a walk. "Yo, you know Lai brought me flowers?"

Paine laughed but watched as the number of probes and stickers were taken off of his chest before he was allowed to put his shirt back on. "He finally came by?"

"Yesterday, Said he was glad I was getting help…"

"Did he mention Em at all?"

Gippal paused and made a face. "Em? No…why?"

Paine kept her mouth shut and just shrugged. "So…I moved out yesterday." They began to walk through the brightly colored halls of The Watershed Rehabilitation Facility. Walking beside Gippal like this reminded her of when they were little and walking side by side through the juvie center halls like the badasses they thought they were. She reached a hand to her hair half expecting to feel a long braid or a pony tail behind her.

How time flew

"Oh yeah? You better have not taken my French press."

"Nah." They didn't say anything else until they made it outside to their usual seats overlooking the large patch of land the rehab facility owned. Paine took a larger breath of air. "I'm fucking broke…"

Gippal shook his head with a laugh. "You buy the ring yet?"

Paine rubbed her face. "No, bought a bed instead."

"Well I mean priorities are bitches. You talk to Cid yet?"

Paine shook her head. "Nope."

"Well damn just the other day you sounded like you were going to do this shit the next day."

"I still feel that way, but reality kinda bit me in the ass y'know? I gotta get two jobs for when I graduate. I wanna ask her after graduation but at this rate…"

"Lay away?"

Paine shrugged. "That could work."

"Don't go crazy on this shit either."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I mean fucking Al Bhed girls are expensive. You gonna be doing this at least three times. I mean..unless she asks for one of them."

Paine was quiet for a second as she did the math. She put a hand to her face. "Fuck me."

Gippal laughed. "What else." He cracked his knuckles and then stared off for a little before looking back at his best friend expectantly. "hey."

Paine was brought out of her thoughts of her blonde. "Yeah so….what should I say to Cid?"

Gippal shrugged. "I don't fucking know, you're the one in love."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the advice."

Gippal shrugged again. "Em said she was proud of me the other day…what the fuck does that mean when women say that?"

It was now Paine's turn to shrug. "Rikku says that sometimes…I guess it means she's… proud of you?"

"Like a brother sister proud or like once I'm outta here you'll let me hit it proud?"

Paine laughed. It would good to see he had his sense of humor back.

##

Yuna put her hand to her mouth to hide her laughter and to also stop food from falling out and onto her dress.

Rikku had been lucky not to take a bite of her lunch and was laughing openly. "Nooo Lulu."

Lulu nodded. "I was more embarrassed for him than myself."

"Oh my gosh." Yuna tried to finish chewing. "I just…wow."

Rikku giggled and then took a sip of her lemonade. "Almost put out his back did yuh?"

Lulu laughed. "Does this mean we are getting old?"

"Wakka is at least." Yuna jabbed and the trio laughed again.

The three sat outside at a restaurant near the outskirts of the city. It was the perfect day for lunch and Rikku was glad Wakka was free to watch Vidina today. It gave the three women time to reflect and just talk. "Yunie went on a date." Rikku announced as she stabbed a few fork fulls of her wild mushroom pasta.

Lulu quirked an eyebrow. "Is this so?"

Yuna rolled her eyes. "It was just dinner with Tidus."

"So you two are dating now?" Lulu asked with a little amusement. First it seemed like the world was going to end, but now they were dating. Lulu was at a loss for what to think anymore, maybe she was getting old too.

"Well it's…we're just talking, we aren't together and since the two of you were off doin' all sorts of things I had the night available. That's all."

"What's going to happen with you two?" Lulu asked.

"I wish I knew, but I think that…we're dealing with it. No expectations. I think this is the best for now."

"Can he and I be friends again?" Rikku asked with a chuckle.

"Rikku I never told you to not be his friend."

"Well I don't know what you expected me to do; if Paine were being a meanie would you be nice to her?"

Yuna thought about. "Point."

"Has Paine spoken about meeting with our father?"

"She still seems mad, I never want to push it, at least she's thinking about it. That's half the battle with her is getting her to consider something…."

##

"Just monitor the pain, if it gets above just being sore call me."

"Alright, thanks."

"How are you feeling otherwise?"

"Pretty good I guess."

"Sleeping patterns?" Elma asked as she walked through the ICU of the hospital where she was working today.

"I've been taking a lot more naps lately."

"Good."

"Spoke to Lai…"

"Baralai?"

"Yeah him, you gave him your number?"

"Possibly."

"Em you do realize that Lai is…well he's…"

"Handsome, your ex, Gippal's friend?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm aware."

"Alright well as long as you are _aware_." Paine shook her head and Elma chuckled.

"Relax hm?"

"Yeah yeah yeah."

"I'll call you later."

"Alright, tell Nooj I say hi."

"Right, bye."

"Bye."

Paine hung up the phone with Elma as she keyed into her new apartment. She was half way to Crenshaw when she realized that she didn't live there anymore. Paine liked the area she found yeah, but it just seemed so off without the familiar strangers of her old neighborhood. She knew this move was necessary, but honestly she felt more unsure than ever when she closed her door behind her and looked around the empty living room. She knew it was her younger internal self freaking out about change, but acknowledgement didn't make it feel better. Paine swallowed down the air in her throat and slipped off her sneakers before placing her keys down on the kitchen counter and opening the fridge. "Ah nice." She cheered to herself when she took out a jug of iced tea that Rikku made while they were taking a break from moving things yesterday. After a few hasty gulps to quench her thirst she put it back in the fridge and looked about the bare living room. She literally had zero furniture in it and a part of Paine kind of liked it open like this. She stepped the small distance to get to her fire escape slash patio and leaned over the now sturdy railing to watch the cars move beneath her. The hum of the ever moving city calmed her. Conley street wasn't as centralized as Crenshaw was, meaning there was a bit more space between buildings and there weren't so many people. It reminded her of the neighborhood where Lulu and Wakka lived. They seemed settled there, maybe Paine could settle here. She came back into the kitchen and poured herself an actual glass of the iced tea and then went into her room which was completely set up at this point. She opened the blinds to let a little light in and then rested her glass on her nightstand beside her digital alarm clock and the glass picture frame of her and Rikku.

The once only child sat on her unmade bed and slipped out of her leather jacket before just sitting there once again.

She was waiting.

When no one barged into the room, or when she couldn't hear the voices of the many other orphans and delinquents making fun of her she exhaled heavily, stood and started to look for her messenger bag to start some homework.

This was the first time she had ever moved to a place where no one could mess with her. Even at Crenshaw people from her past knew where she lived. The Pilgrims' apartment wasn't too far away and there was that spot on the ground that had even to this day remained just a notch stained from where she had laid bleeding from being shot. No this was different, this was her own. Paine flopped down on her stomach and used the pillow that smelt like her girlfriend's hair to lean on as she read.

Hours later she closed her textbook with a groan. Despite the pressure of life and its responsibilities knocking at her door Paine could not wait to be done with school. She was ready to actually earn money for working instead of having to pay it. Paine rolled over onto her back and thought for a moment. She knew Rikku was scared about the future but Paine had the right motivation, and that was her. She wanted to be able to…well, Paine didn't know exactly what this feeling was. She wanted Rikku to lean on her, she wanted to wake up and see Rikku every day, and when she went to sleep at night she wanted her to be there too. Was it crazy that even when they were together Paine wanted more? Was it her brain trying to grasp at something familiar while everything changed, Paine didn't think so, she could remember feeling this when they first met, though faint and inaudible like the base of a song when you stood outside of a club.

Well Paine was inside now, and she liked this song very much. So much in fact that she wanted to dance and Paine Kerrigan did not dance. Paine huffed at herself, one drink, and a few adorable tugs of her arm from Rikku and she was good to go. Rikku just wanted to dance, but most importantly, with her.

_Since when did I get so lame?_

She smiled and reached for her cell phone. Paine hesitated on her call log between two numbers. With a quiet sigh she chose the alternative.

Across town Keira was pulling another all nighter with her acting and directive crew. This new production was proving to be harder work than she thought. With the showing of Anastasia being so successful and being able to prove herself to the company they wanted to see her take a more hands on approach. So now not only was she starring in the spring production, she was also responsible for the musical scores, and the actual musical numbers. Though she appreciated the challenge Keira found herself drowning almost every night.

"Again." She nodded at the man who had quickly become her best friend here in New Luca.

Carlo stepped forward and inhaled deeply before projecting that prince charming voice of his. The tired electric guitarist, violinist and drummer began to play it again. "_Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within, once you find your center, you are sure to win._" He turned toward the other actors including Keira. "_You're a spineless pale, pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of yooouuu_."

The band picked up the rhythm as Keira instructed and Luis began his part. "_I'm never gonna catch my breath_."

Freddy cut in. "_Say goodbye to those who knew me._"

Nicolai stepped forward and made everyone laugh at little with his characters voice. "_Boy was I fool in school for cutting gym._"

Rae, who was standing beside Keira placed a hand on her shoulder and motioned to the lead. "_This guy's got 'em scared to death._"

Keira fought her smile. "_Hope he doesn't see right through me_." She sung to Carlo.

Nicolai grinned. "_Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!_"

They all chimed in "_Bee a man!_"

Carlo turned to the empty crowd and pounded his chest. "_You must be swift as a coursing river!_"

"_Be a man!_"

"—_With all the force of a great typhoon!_"

"_Be a man!_"

"—_With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moooon!_" He took a second and then his voice broke a little as he stressed the next line. "_Time is racing towards us, till the fiend arrive_." He turned toward the group again. "_Heed my every order, and you might survive._" He singled Keira out and stepped closer to her challengingly. "_You're unsuited for the rage of war so pack up, go home, you're through. How could I make a man out of yooouuu?_"

She lowered her head and began her slow walk off stage left as the group continued.

"_Be a man!_"

Rae followed her just as slowly.

Once they were finished the number Keira smiled. "Better."

Carlo took a sip of water and tilted his head a little. "I didn't sound too mean?"

Keira shook her head. "No, but I would like to see a little more authority in your voice when you single me out." He nodded. "Let's do it again." Everyone groaned and Keira shrugged at their pleading faces. Her name was on this and she'd be damned if it wasn't perfect. "Again."

"You've reached Keira Kerrigan; I'm unable to pick up my phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you at my earliest convenience."

Beeeeep

Paine sighed. "Hey Keira its Paine…I called to say…sorry about hanging up on you….I mean…yeah that's what I called for. Um…Call me back I guess. Bye."

##

Rikku's eyes snapped open and the overwhelming sense of dread took over her senses leaving her paranoid and feeling as small as ever. She widened her eyes as if to watch her own back as she looked around the unfamiliar darkness.

Panic

Rikku pulled the covers closer to her when she saw nothing at all to her left, she turned to her right and exhaled so loudly in relief the woman beside her stirred a little. Rikku sniffled and watched her source of warmth move a little before falling still again. "Paine." Rikku whispered not yet chancing this reality and keeping her hands under the cover clenched at the brim of the cream colored comforter. She tried to take another breath as the fear rattled within her not wanting to leave. "Paine…"

_Dream Paine playfully bit onto the bronzed skin of her girlfriend. "Pleeasseee?"_

_Dream Rikku smiled widely. "You don't have to beg me, I already said yes five hours ago silly."_

_Dream Paine looked up and realized that they were in her room for the first time since the dream began. "What really?"_

_Rikku's hands caressed her cheeks as she brought her back to look at her. "Where are you?"_

_Dream Paine placed a small kiss on her mouth. "I'm right here." She whispered. "But uh…maybe you can fill me in?"_

_Dream Rikku giggled. "Did I rock your world that hard? You can't remember the past five hours Pypo?"_

_Dream Paine shrugged. She could feel something tugging her gently. She looked down at the blonde dressed in her bed sheets but nothing else, she shook her head._

"_What's wrong?" Dream Rikku asked._

_Dream Paine shook her head. "Nothing…Tell me."_

"_Well you asked me…and I said yes."_

"_Oh yeah." Dream Paine leaned down and placed another soft kiss on her lips. "Rikks?"_

"_Yeah Pai?"_

_Dream Paine sighed contently. "I'm so happy…" She shied up a little. "I um…" she bit her lip._

_Dream Rikku's expression hardened in confusion. "Said yes to what?"_

_Dream Paine furrowed her brows. "What?"_

"_What are you happy I said yes to?"_

"_You forgot?"_

_Dream Rikku pushed at Paine so she wasn't lying on top of her anymore. "Where's Auron…why are we in bed together?" She began to panic._

"_Auron!?"_

"_Yeah Dr. P, y'know the guy with the dick?" A sultry voice said out of nowhere._

_Paine turned and raised an eyebrow at Dona Pilgrim standing at the foot of her bed dressed in to a black wrap around dress and a dark funeral gloves that reached her elbows. "What are you doing here!?"_

_Dream Dona rolled her eyes. _

"_C'mon Princess, let's get out of here before you end up like Shu…"_

_Paine broke her glare from Dona and found herself looking at source of the new voice Lenne Guzzo, Shuyin's long term girlfriend was standing at the side of the bed dressed in the same outfit. "Lenne?" _

"_I should leave her?" Dream Rikku asked a little uncertain. The two women nodded and Lenne stepped forward and put her hand out to Rikku. _

"_She's hurt us both, you think you won't end up the same?" Dream Lenne asked quietly. "Incapable…she's incapable of this…"_

_Dona rolled her eyes at the soft tone. "Just grab her!"_

"No!" Paine jumped out of her sleep yelling. Rikku jumped a little and stared at her girlfriend as she seemed to readjust to being awake. She cursed under her breath and rubbed at her face before turning and lying on her back.

"Paine."

Paine turned and looked to her left at Rikku. "Rikks?" Had she forgotten that she had slept over or something?

Rikku scooted closer to Paine on the new mattress. "Are you okay?" She whispered. Paine had this odd look about her, it wasn't scared, nor mad, it was just a deep confusion coupled with hurt, it made Rikku wonder if she still thought that she was awake or not.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." Paine reassured softly. She exhaled and tried to find words. "Crazy dream is all…"

"Oh."

They stared at each other for a moment. Paine's eyes were almost as bright as Rikku's which was strange for the blonde to see. "Why are you awake? It's real early babe." Paine asked after getting her bearings.

"I um…had a bad dream." She could just barely see Paine frown in the dark. She sighed in pure contentedness when Paine put her arms around her without even having to ask. She spooned her close and rested her chin against Rikku's right shoulder. Rikku loved when Paine was this close. She could feel her breathing and for some reason that was magical to the blonde. She knew that Paine did it on her own when they weren't close but it was just a reminder of her reality with the other woman and in times when she was unsure of scared this reality was much appreciated.

Paine bit her lip as she thought. "We were in bed, you and me…"

"In your dream?" Somehow she could sense the topic in Paine's tone.

Paine nodded shortly. "Mhm, and we were….happy." Happy was a safe word, but in her dream Paine could remember feeling overjoyed at the blonde's acceptance.

"Were we naked?" Rikku asked with a quiet giggle.

"Yup…and we were happy." Paine reiterated. "Um..but then you forgot what we were happy about and you…it hurt." No need to mention the A word.

"What were we happy about?"

"I don't know." Paine lied.

Sensing the dream beginning to get darker Rikku nodded. "What else happened?"

"Dona showed up…and then Lenne.." Paine waited for her to say something. "They were trying to get you to leave me."

"Wasn't Lenne Shuyin's girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Why was she there…" Realization sunk in and Rikku didn't know what to feel. "You…_knew_ her?"

Paine shook her head quickly. "No, but I…_knew_ of her?"

"What does that mean?"

Paine shrugged. "We kissed…once."

"Once."

"Twice."

"Paine."

Paine snuggled Rikku closer. "Long long long ass time ago, before she met Shu even."

Rikku couldn't help but smile a little as she rolled her eyes. "Boy the list just keeps getting longer."

"Hey." Paine nudged her softly. "Well at least we know where it stops."

"Where is that?"

"On you of course." Paine admitted shyly.

Rikku only smiled and they lay there for a moment more. She was starting to feel less tense, which was good. She was sure her girlfriend could feel how on edge she was even though her voice remained perfectly normal Paine never lessened her grip. Finally she cleared her throat and spoke in a ghostly whisper. "Do you want to know?" She knew Paine had only been sharing so Rikku would feel comfortable enough to share as well.

"Only if you are ready." Paine whispered back not wanting to push Rikku into anything.

Rikku thought about it for a minute. She didn't want to go too into detail because it was the details that scared her half to death, she also didn't want to be too vague, she hated when Paine was too vague about things and she didn't want to be a hypocrite. "You got locked up for saving me." She settled on. "We…were in love but Pops wouldn't let me go and see you and _he_-Auron…he was stalking me."

Paine tightened her jaw and then relaxed it before hugging Rikku closer and whispering reassurances into her ear. Rikku nodded at what she was saying and sighed. She felt just a bit better, and it was that bit that helped her begin to nod off again.

Paine on the other hand hadn't been as fortunate, but being able to just hold Rikku as her thoughts ran circles around her was comforting. She buried her nose in the back of Rikku's neck and inhaled deeply as she tried to stay positive.

The next morning Rikku woke to the sound of exertion. She stretched out her arms and legs and then fell limp before calling out to Paine before even opening her eyes. "Pypo…" She blindly placed a hand on the now cold side of the bed.

Paine grunted in acknowledgement as she continued to count in her head.

Rikku imitated her little grunt and then giggled finding it cute. She opened her eyes and looked around a little confused when the silver haired woman was nowhere to be found. She moved to the edge of the bed and ducked back when Paine almost head butted her while doing her sit ups on the floor at the foot of the bed. Paine laughed a little but that was the only thing she did before going back to her work out.

Rikku sighed and fell back onto her back on the comfy bed. It was official, she liked Paine's better than her own. "I don't wanna go to school today." She groaned when she realized it was Monday morning.

Paine finished her count and stood. She was wearing only a navy blue sports bra and her black fighting shorts giving Rikku a very nice view of her toned stomach and her sinfully long legs. Paine took a few gulps of water and then fell into thought. "What if I put a punching bag in the living room…"

Rikku looked up at her and laughed shortly. "Why on Spira would you do that?"

"Well because it's my fucking apartment right?" She sat on the bed and leaned over Rikku to kiss her on the cheek. Rikku supposed it was to say good morning because the judo fighter's words didn't explain her actions at all. It made her smile. Paine was obviously in a good mood. "I'd never leave you in the mornings if I had a gym right there y'know?" She took some more gulps of her water before capping it down with the palm of her hand and wondering off. Rikku shook her head when she heard the shower turn on. Was she suddenly ADHD or something? Weren't they just talking?

Rikku shook her head and hugged Paine's pillow and closed her eyes again determined to hold onto the sweet second slumber she had. It usually happened like that on nights when she had bad dreams, they were few and far between now a days but when they happen they were so realistic. Paine would cuddle her to sleep and she would be fine the next morning. She felt fine now though the thought of Paine being locked up made her feel the saddest sad she had ever known, it was only a dream yes, but Rikku felt the sadness linger just a little longer before she manually pushed it off of the bed and out of her thoughts. Her girlfriend was free and taking a shower only a few feet away. The normalcy of the scene made her smile and forget all about her bad dream and its lies. She began to doze when Paine walking in the room with a towel around her body brought her out quickly. Paine's hair was slicked all the way and curled slightly at the tips because of the water. Rikku watched her style her hair and then grab some underwear from her drawer. "I have enough room, and I know a guy who set one up for Gippal when were in high school. He builds gyms." Paine said as she began looking for a shirt. She settled on a dark gray v-neck and left the room to get ready in the bathroom. Rikku wondered why she did that, she had seen her pale ass plenty of times before, but then again she didn't outright change in front of Paine either. Sure she was in her underwear but… Rikku shrugged at it wondering why she was wondering. Paine returned in the gray v-neck and a pair of red low rise panties. "What do you say?" She asked as she searched her drawers for some pants.

Rikku watched her bend over first before speaking. "No gym."

"But it's _my_ apartment."

"And you're _my_ girlfriend."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Paine questions as she pulled on some loose fitting faded jeans.

Rikku just ignored her, "Can we please not go to school today?"

"Don't you have a test?" Paine asked after sitting down on the side of the bed and putting on her socks. Rikku always had a test.

"That was moved to Thursday. We could go to the mall—"

Paine pointed to herself. "Wrong tree."

Rikku laughed and grabbed her arm as if it were linked to her attention. "We can go to the park, have a picnic, or just walk around downtown and get hot dogs for lunch…or! Or we can use our romantic spa couple thing I got you. "

Paine sighed. "All of those things sound cool babe but…"

"Okay hear me out." Rikku sat up in bed with her lawyer face on. "It's the beginning of May right?" Paine nodded. "We graduate in June right?" Paine nodded again. "At such time you'll be working how many jobs?"

"…Two."

"Right, and I will be either in school on a summer program or waiting tables somewhere so I can pay Pops back for schooling, do you know how much time that is going to leave us for not only our friends and family but ourselves?"

Paine shrugged. "Not a lot."

"Exactly! So why don't we just y'know." Rikku tugged on her hand gently. "Enjoy each other."

Paine exhaled heavily and then just nodded. Rikku jumped backwards in happiness and began to roll around on the bed like a dog would in a pile of laundry. Paine only laughed and mumbled something about her being "fucking weird." as she went into the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

**AN: Review! They keep me writing and it's just the polite thing to do. lol **

**KathleenDee**


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter Fifty Five**

"So many little people…How do we know which one is ours?" Rikku asked as she leaned over Paine's lap to look out the driver's side window.

Paine searched the crowd of children running out the school in their bright rain gear. She would agree, to the untrained eye it was impossible to find her. "She probably forgot her raincoat." Paine sighed with realization before unbuckling her seatbelt. "I'm gonna go and get her. Can I use your umbrella?"

Rikku sat back in her seat and reached down to grab the red and pink umbrella. "You think she's inside?"

Paine nodded. "Waiting for the rain to stop, but that'll just make her miss the school bus and she'd take the city bus which is fine I guess but she's a little girl y'know."

Rikku nodded. "I'll wait here."

"Okay." Paine exited the car and opened out the umbrella before she made her way through the thick crowd of people under five feet and headed toward the school entrance. Rikku watched her go with a smile. Paine being protective over Big Mack was just the cutest thing. After watching her disappear into the building Rikku relaxed in the passenger seat of Paine's car. Their grand day of skipping school ended up getting rained on, so things like picnics and lounging in the sun were out of the question. Instead the duo ate breakfast on Paine's living room floor, went to walk around the museum of art and decided to come and pick Mackenzie up from school since it was around two in the afternoon. Rikku enjoyed the time they spent just holding hands and walking through the quiet museum. It was nice to just be with Paine even though they didn't say much to one another while admiring the exhibits, there was just something about the high ceilings and dusty floors that made walking around in the old building that much more memorable. Rikku smiled at the memory of Paine just stopping and kissing her chastely in the room with all the art work done by famous Summoners' forgotten Guardians, the ones who didn't become Sin in favor of a Calm that would soon end anyway. Most considered them to be lost without someone to protect, but their work showed a much deeper longing for a pilgrimage with a different ending. It was Rikku's favorite room in the exhibit and she wondered how Paine just knew.

Rikku sighed and glanced at her cell phone. She had a missed call from her father which alarmed her at first but then became the one thing she did not want to deal with once she listened to the voicemail he left.

Apparently he was on campus for something with Leblanc and asked around for her only to find out from the TA that hated her that she hadn't shown up for class. Rikku didn't understand what the big deal was, she had been working her butt off to get the grades she was now getting and this wasn't high school, this was university. She refused to let it spoil her nice day though. She glanced out the window and quickly lowered Paine's seat when she saw Paine holding the umbrella so it would cover Mackenzie better; half her head was soaked and she looked a little upset at something. Big Mack would slow down and glance up at Paine every now and then and Paine would motion her along.

The car door opened allowing the sound of the noisy rain in along with some water to fall in. Mackenzie climbed into the back seat and Paine pulled the driver seat up and got in after closing Rikku's umbrella. She handed it back to her girlfriend who gave her a questioning look. Paine shook her head and motioned to the glove compartment. "Can you pass me some napkins?"

"Yeah." Rikku searched for them and soon found them amongst all of Paine's nonsense. Paine tried to wipe her face free of water and then tossed the used paper towel in the cup holder next to Rikku's water bottle. "I mean so what exactly were you thinking?" Paine asked sounding stern. She buckled her seat belt and glanced back at Mackenzie. "Hm?"

Mackenzie just lowered her head in shame. Paine shook her head and put the car into drive. Rikku glanced back at Big Mack and felt like Paine might be being a little harsh on whatever it was that happened. "How was school Big Mack?"

Mackenzie looked up at Rikku and shrugged her little shoulders. "Good."

"What did you do?"

Mackenzie looked over to Paine who was focusing on driving in the heavy shower. "Are you gonna tell Momma?"

Paine nodded but didn't say anything.

Mackenzie began to cry.

Rikku watched as Paine struggled to remain firm. "If you were in my shoes what would you do?"

"I wouldn't tell your Momma, honest." She looked back up at Paine's head and then buried her face in her little hands again; hot tears sliding down her round cheeks with ease.

"Pai." Rikku whispered.

Paine glanced at Rikku. "She was with Jade in the boy's bathroom."

"Oh." Rikku just nodded, she turned back to Mackenzie. "Big Mack why would you want to go in there, boys are gross." Rikku tried to calm the little girl down.

"Randy said that's where we were gonna meet." She stammered.

"Meet for what?" Paine asked eyes still on the road.

"Outside of it, we were gonna meet outside of it." She tried.

"So tell me why you were inside of it then, you still haven't told me that yet."

Mackenzie sniffled hard. "Jade said w-we should go see if he was in there 'cause he was late. We w-were gonna take da bus home t-together." She wiped her eyes onto her sleeves.

"Do you listen to everything Jade tells you to do?" Paine asked glancing back at her. Mackenzie didn't say anything, she just continued to whimper.

"Pypo.." Rikku gave Paine a look telling her to ease up.

Paine shook her head and surprised Rikku when she spoke. Tu oui ghuf ruf syho meddma kenmc yd dryd clruum ryja caq pavuna drao ajah mayja? Cra cruimth'd pa biddehk rancamv eh dryd bucedeuh po paehk ymuha fedr cusa puo yvdan clruum ruinc fedruid daylranc un bynahdc ynuiht."

It was the first real time ever hearing her girlfriend speak Al Bhed fluently and she decided that she rather liked how natural Paine's accent seemed; it meant she learned from a native speaker. Sure there were some urban influences and drops but it was still a nice surprise. On the other had what she had actually said was cause for worry. Rikku turned back to Mackenzie and handed her some napkins.

"No more tears okay? Paine isn't mad at you, she's just mad at the situation you put yourself in."

Mackenzie looked up at the back of Paine's head. "You're not mad at me?" Her big brown eyes widened even more at the prospect.

Paine sighed. "No Big Mack." She stopped at a red light and looked back at her. "Guardians just get a little protective sometimes. Stop crying." She took the napkin from Mackenzie's hand and wiped at her face sweetly. "We'll talk about it later."

Big Mack calmed down some and nodded. "Okay." She said quietly.

Rikku tried to hide her smile at the action as Paine glanced at her before going back to driving when the light turned. She keyed into her old apartment with the spare they kept hidden and told Mackenzie to take off her muddy shoes at the door and go wash her face.

"Why now?" Rikku asked as she followed Paine into the kitchen she could remember cooking with her on "family nights"

Paine reached down under the sink and pulled a yoohoo out from under there and got together a glass with ice to pour it over for when Mackenzie came back . "Why now what?"

"You speaking Al Bhed…it's kind of nice, you speak it well."

Paine shrugged a little. "I didn't want her to know what I was saying until I figured out a way to put it more….gently." Paine went to get two more glasses and filled them half way with Aloe Vera juice for her and Rikku.

Rikku nodded at her valid point. 'When I was in fifth grade all I cared about was if my brother ate all of our knyhtsy'c lemon cookies since he would get home before me…"

Paine shook her head. "Not on this side of town Princess."

Rikku sighed and picked up her cup of juice. "I realized."

"What should I say to her?" Paine asked as she leaned on the counter beside Rikku. "I mean… I should definitely tell Joyce right?"

Rikku shrugged. "I don't know, you seemed to scare her well enough, I think if you just talk to her calmly now she'd get it, but at the same time it'd help to know what kind of friends she's creating."

Paine sighed. "We'll see how the talk goes."

Rikku nodded and then leaned over to place a little kiss on Paine's cheek. "Look at you being all parental."

Paine smiled a little smile. "Shut up."

After sitting Mackenzie down and explaining why it was important to always tell an adult where you were and to not go into the boys bathroom Joyce showed up right on time to get her daughter. Paine pulled her aside and told her what happened. Joyce seemed to appreciate this and Mackenzie hadn't even noticed the two talking because Rikku was distracting her with pictures on her cell of Wakka's baby.

"He looks so small." Mackenzie cooed.

Rikku nodded. "He's about as big as my arm…well not that big."

"But skinny like that?"

Rikku chuckled. "No probably not either." She slid to the next picture, it just so happened to be one of her and Paine a little while back. They were both wearing their sunglasses in the picture and Paine was the main focus since she was the one driving. Rikku scooted over close to take the shot and was smiling brightly while Paine pursed her lips and puffed out her cheeks a little. Mackenzie giggled at the goofy face her guardian was giving the camera, all thoughts of being in trouble pushed aside for the rare expression on Paine's face.

"You and Paine are best friends huh?"

Rikku smiled at the picture. "Yeah, best friends."

##

Paine opened the door to her apartment later that night and let her laughing girlfriend in first. "Laugh, go ahead." Paine said sarcastically as she closed the door behind them and locked it. Rikku turned to face Paine before plopping down on the wooden floor and placing the large greasy bag of fast food burgers and french fries down.

"Oh c'mon!" Rikku argued as she pulled her phone from her back pocket and placed it on the ground beside her before reaching into the bag that held their dinner.

Paine slipped off her shoes like Rikku had and took off her leather jacket before going into the kitchen to pour their store bought soda into cups. "I guess I'm here to amuse you."

"You do a fantastic job Pypo." Rikku grinned before stealing some of Paine's fries and munching on them.

Paine returned with their cups and placed them down before sitting across from Rikku. She reached for the food that Rikku set out for her and quirked an eyebrow. "Tell me something."

Rikku finished her sip of soda. "Hm?" She said grabbing her burger and beginning to unwrap it.

"How come I ordered a large fries and you ordered a medium…" Paine picked up her french fry container. "But somehow you have way more than me?"

Rikku shrugged innocently. "The inconsistency in this industry astounds me."

"You're full of shit." The two laughed. "I ordered a large cause I'm gonna need the extra energy." Paine reasoned as she opened her burger and put a few fries in it.

Rikku laughed with her mouth closed. She swallowed. "Is this so? Midnight work-out?"

Paine winked. "Alright, we'll call it that."

Rikku chuckled "What makes you think I'm not on my period?"

Paine shrugged. "I know you're not."

Rikku shook her head. "I missed it."

Paine shrugged again. "Well we know it's not mine."

Rikku laughed. "You're such a jerk." Paine grinned. They continued eating their unhealthy dinner sharing jokes and just talking light heartedly. When they were done with the food Paine put all the trash back into the greasy bag and used her foot to kick it gently aside before just lying down there on the wooden floor. Rikku crawled next to her and smiled before lying down beside her. The silence was beautiful, because it wasn't quite silent. The city outside was still moving and there was a quiet rain hitting the windows with a steady rhythm in time with the life on the street. Paine reflected on their day and the more she thought about it the more she was glad that they had let go of all their responsibilities just to be with one another. They didn't even go to their meeting at the YMCA tonight, instead they went to an arcade after leaving Crenshaw street, then they each paid a quarter to get into the hipster movies again, and then they just walked to Grand Pavilion and shared some ice cream before going to pick up some fast food to have for their real dinner. Paine had had a great time, and she wished more than ever that she had the ring now, she would ask now, and Rikku would say yes now because everything was perfect.

"You need furniture." Rikku whispered to the woman on her right.

Paine chuckled softly and stretched her longer legs out a little more before glancing at Rikku. "Like, an end table?"

Rikku grinned. She didn't know how much she missed this Paine until she was lying right beside her. "No like a couch maybe…"

Paine looked back up at the ceiling. "I kinda like it like this." She felt Rikku curl at her side and smiled. "With you here with me..." She chanced quietly.

"Why Paine Kerrigan you sound like you love me or something."

Paine made a face. "Psh, Paine Kerrigan does not love."

Rikku laughed and leaned up on her elbow so she was looking down at Paine. "I think she does." She whispered just as quietly at Paine's previous confession.

Paine reached up and brushed some of Rikku's hair out of her face. "Well maybe a little." She whispered back. Rikku leaned down and placed a tender kiss onto her girlfriend's soft lips. The sweet show affection soon turned passionate and before she realized it Rikku had straddled Paine's lap. Things were really getting underway when Rikku's cell phone on the ground began to ring loudly. Both women groaned and then separated from their kiss. Paine plopped back down on her back and Rikku laughed before gently tickling her stomach as she reached for her cell phone with her other hand. Paine gave her a warning look and the blonde turned the tickling into a gentle rubbing motion that for some reason had Paine yawning.

Rikku answered the call. "Pops."

"So you weren't at school today and then you ignore my phone calls and then—"

"Pops I just answered the phone how am I ignoring your phone calls?"

"We need to talk."

"Okay we'll talk."

"No, now young lady."

Rikku growled but kept her tone in line, this was her father after all and he really did sound pissed for whatever reason. "Fine I'm on my way." She hung up the phone and looked down at Paine who was looking up at her expectantly.

"Not good?"

Rikku shook her head. "Can you drop me home?" Paine nodded and began to sit up. "Thank you." Rikku got up from off her lap and wondered into Paine's room to get some of her things that she would need. Paine followed after her and leaned against the door frame.

"What did he say?"

"He said that we needed to talk."

"About?"

"How come I wasn't in school probably?"

"How do you think he found out?"

"Leblanc." Rikku shook her head at the woman she was warming up to.

Paine nodded and watched her get her things she needed for school together. She went into the bathroom and remembered to pick up her brush and stuff it into her bag before waiting for Paine by the door. "I'm sad to see you go." Paine admitted as she gathered her keys and reached for her leather jacket.

Rikku smiled. "I wish I could stay."

Paine nodded. "It's okay." She kissed her on the cheek and then opened the front door. On the car ride to Rikku's they talked here and there about weekday plans and then weekend plans. Rikku reminded Paine to keep her eyes on the temperatures and Paine reminded Rikku to not forget to purchase her cap and gown that week for her since she wouldn't have the time to. She had already given her the money and her height so all the blonde had to do was sign it in for her. "Did I tell you I landed an interview this week? Friday at that health center I was looking at."

"Paine that's amazing! We'll have to go get drinks after to celebrate."

"I said I had an interview not the actual job." Paine shook her head.

"Well you'll go in there; smirk and then you'll get it just like that. Hey! How about we go to Lap after? Aren't we supposed to be giving Gippal updates on stuff?"

Paine nodded. "I did promise him I'd stop by." Paine pulled up next to Cid's car. "Alright we'll do that then."

"Okay."

"Goodnight Babe."

"Whoa come inside and say goodnight."

Paine sighed heavily. "He seems to be in a bad mood…" She motioned to the house and then back to Rikku.

Rikku just chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "Goodnight." She whispered when it was reluctantly ended.

##

The moment had come.

It was Friday afternoon; Yuna was still in classes, Paine having lunch with her mother after an interview in the city, Cid with Leblanc or Leblanc with Cid. She was alone.

Being alone in the great big house had started to feel normal again, she'd never tell Paine that she'd felt nervous for the longest time. Rikku placed Little Puppy down on the kitchen counter and shrugged out of her backpack. It fell to the floor with a small rustle. Somewhere in the back of her mind she chided herself to be more careful not to break any more fragile lead pencils like she had in the past.

Her mouth had become dry because these were the heavy envelopes.

Rikku placed the small pile down and picked up the first.

The Mi'ihen Institute….

…_.We are pleased to inform Ms. Rikku M. Bayla on her acceptance into the Mi'ihen family….._

She placed the letter face down, and picked up another and another…

….._Congratulations on your acceptance into the Bikanel Academy of the Arts_….

….._It is my highest of honors to personally welcome Ms Rikku M. Bayla into our Graduate Architecture program here at St. Bevelle University_…..

There a few more letters that Rikku didn't even bother to open. Had these schools not heard the scandals? She had slept with her professor…on numerous occasions liking it in the beginning but not at all toward the end which had to say something about her values right?…He had tried to rape her, she was gay! A lefty! Blonde! Hadn't they heard?!

Rikku took a step back a second and took a small breath, her head was spinning and she took a moment to gather her thoughts, and then the many envelopes in her hands and brought them upstairs with her to the third floor. She didn't know why she felt so sick, but the altitude and fresh scent of paint and lead did nothing to ease her thoughts like she thought it would.

Rikku leaned her head back against the wall near her supplies and closed her eyes. A year ago today she was busy wondering about this new person entering her life. Her name was Paine, she was beautiful but seemed jaded, she had feelings that she couldn't quite explain. She had also been caught in the revolving door that was Auron, and there seemed to be no real way of explaining that either. That was a year ago though.

Rikku opened her eyes and looked down at the thick envelopes in her hands. She didn't know herself then, today though she knew and she was running toward happiness ready to never look back.

There was a sense of mystery in these envelopes though, a sense of a true new beginning. She need not cut her hair anymore if she left…

But would she really gain? Was it worth what she would stood to lose?

Rikku sighed before nodding to herself. There were people who were going to not like what she had just decided, mainly her father, but if this year had taught her anything it was that happiness was not the wind's companion, it didn't just show up and whisk away to the next city accidentally. It was something that came from within, from growth, and when you always tried to change and start anew, growth never happened. Rikku was happy, she was genuinely happy about life, and for the last four years of her bipolar attitude toward life this was like a breath of fresh air. She wasn't going to just leave that behind for prospects of gold somewhere unforgiving like Bevelle. She thrived in this city, and her father could have his own opinions but at night it was herself that she had to lay with, no one else.

She called her older brother for some advice, A few years ago he seemed to be in a similar postion and though his father has his ideals Kirill seemed to be thriving. Developing a deeper relastionship with the blitzer was something Rikku was grateful for. He wasn't a butthead too often, and talking to him reminded her of the sweet taste of her childhood. He said all the right things and challenged Rikku enough to find what was really the issue. He did all that before announcing that he had to do a number two so they'd need to get off the phone.

Some things just never changed.

After hanging up the phone Rikku could hear her father entering the house and took a huge breath before going downstairs.

_Now or never Bayla_

Cid slammed his briefcase down on the kitchen table and took a huge calming breath as he opened the fridge.

Rikku slowed her step and tilted her head. "You okay Pops?"

Cid looked up quickly. "Milan. You startled me."

"Sorry…" She rested her hand on the counter and examined him closer. "You lose a bet or something?"

"What? You know I don't gamble."

"So why do you look so upset?"

Cid watched her watch him and shook his head. He couldn't tell her, theoretically if all worked out he wouldn't have to. "We don't have any more milk…it's, maddening."

Rikku quirked an eyebrow with a soft chuckle. "Well no need to throw a fit, geez."

Cid smiled at her. "You're right, these things can be fixed. Do you mind running to the store?"

Rikku nodded. "Yunie and I were going to the grocery soon but since you look like you're about to die or something I can go."

Cid nodded. "Thanks." He did a double take when Rikku lingered for a moment looking unsure. "Oh right." He dipped his hand into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet to give her some money. Rikku took the twenty and stared at it for a moment. "Did you need me for something?"

"Uh…no." She smiled and stuffed the money into her back pocket. "Try not to hulk out and break the furniture before I get back when you realize we're out of peanut butter okay?"

Cid laughed and rubbed the back of his next. "You have my word."

##

"How did you think you faired?"

Paine shrugged and poked at the salad of their first course. Keira sat across from her in a long skirt and a cable knit sweater; she even wore a little hat that reminded Paine of everything she had heard about the cold city of Bevelle. They sat down for lunch about twenty minutes ago and she glad that within that time Keira hadn't mentioned Paul at all.

"I think it went okay…it's pretty standard PTing so…yeah."

"Have you done it before?"

Paine nodded as she reached for her water. "Last summer I had a job at the hospital but I…well I decided that it wasn't for me."

"Why Physical Therapy?"

"I like science."

The two were quiet.

Keira tried to figure that one out on her own for a moment but then just decided to ask. "So why not biology or chemistry. Why not become a doctor?"

Paine pushed around the grilled artichoke on her plate that went with the salad. "Well it's more anatomy and physiology which I enjoy since I have a body and since I…well with my past it was something I wanted to know more about. As a kid no one ever really put any importance on health or anything so…"

"Therapy though?"

Paine shrugged again. "People always get hurt or don't like their bodies for some reason or the other… physical training or therapy is the real true way to change that without spending a fuck ton of money." Her language still surprised Keira sometimes. Paine noticed this and cleared her throat a little. "Plus I could graduate on time with this major." She nodded.

Keira nodded back. "Well that is good too."

Silence fell upon them again.

Paine felt a little bad for her not knowing what to say. I mean this woman was only trying to figure her out, and it wasn't as if she was turned off to the idea of Keira knowing her. It was just hard to find something to talk about. Paine pushed the artichoke about again.

"You don't like artichokes." Keira observed with a fond smile.

"Not really."

"You're friend." She dabbed the corners of her mouth with her napkin to get the access dressing off. "He's a chef?"

Paine nodded. "Gippal he uh…owns a restaurant actually."

"Really? Wow that's impressive." She remembered the shirtless pot head she met the day when she went looking for Paine.

"We grew up in the home together." Paine nodded. Keira wore a mixed expression that she couldn't quite read. "Um…he cooks all the time at home or...I guess when I lived with him and when he was there."

She reached to take a sip of her water. "Where has he gone?"

"Rehab."

"Oh." Keira shifted in her seat. Just then a waiter came and took away their empty salad plates and replaced them with their lunches. Keira ordered trout with spring vegetables with a squash puree and Paine ordered a pan roasted chicken breast with braised kale and roasted potatoes.

Paine glanced at her and waited until Keira picked up her silverware before she picked up her own. They ate quietly for the remainder of the meal, both women two alike to really break from their norms of conversation or lack thereof. Keira wanted to say more, but she felt as though the maxim that less was more was probably appropriate when it came to her daughter.

After the awkwardness subsided it was actually kind of nice just sitting and eating with her like this. She had been singing and talking all week and Paine had been talking her feelings out more and more that the quiet was welcome.

"So when do you graduate?" Keira ventured anyway while they waited for their coffees at the end of their meal.

"June." Paine nodded. "I uh…you can come to that if you want."

"I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Keira shook her head.

"Alright."

"But maybe…something like this would be okay?" Keira added when she noticed the small bit of disappointment in the younger Kerrigan's eyes. "Or I can attend if you really feel as though you would want me there I…" She stopped herself when she realized she was rambling.

Paine nodded. "Maybe."

Neither of them were sure what the maybe was referring to.

"How is work though?" Keira moved to change the subject quickly. "Am I invited to your next show?"

Paine nodded. "Won't be for two weeks. We do fittings and stuff in between but those never take long especially since I never gain any weight…"

"Oh then I'm sure they like you." She joked and Paine nodded. "I was the same way, well I still am. I've been this size for as long as I can remember, thinner before you if you can believe it."

"Wakka is all upset because Lulu hasn't gained a pound but he's gain like ten."

Keira laughed lightly. "She looks well for having just had a child. How is Vidina Mateo?"

"He's starting to try and sit up on his own now which is cool. He's not speaking, although Rikku is convinced he says things to her in Al Bhed."

"Does Lulu or Wakka speak it?"

Paine shook her head as she adjusted her napkin. "No just Rikku, she only speaks it when he is around."

"Well he'll pick up on it soon enough. Isn't that how you learned?"

Paine half shrugged. Her Al Bhed had most certainly gotten better in knowing Rikku. "The woman who raised me only spoke Al Bhed."

"…Oh well…that is…"

Paine realized how that must have sounded. "I mean she um…she's dead though." Somehow that seemed important to say, Paine didn't know why. "She passed away when I was in high school. She was real old and…"

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah."

Keira realized that the topic of this woman wasn't one that Paine was used to having. "I'm sure you miss her." It was a ballsy move but it was well received when she got a little sigh from the woman across from her.

"I wasn't the best kid to help raise so…" Paine shook her head as if to dispel the memories. "Yeah, I do a little sometimes when Rikku talks about her grandmother."

"Is Rikku close to her family?"

"Just her Dad's side, her mother's side kind of distanced themselves when they moved from Home." She was surprised at how unguarded she was being with her. Rikku was a subject she didn't talk about with anyone really, besides her boys. She just felt like it was none of their business, yet here she was, talking to her about the person closest to her without worry.

"My uh friend... Carlo Niche, he played Dimitri?"

"Yeah." Paine nodded remembering the man vaguely.

"He had to inform me that Rikku's brother has a reputation of sorts."

"Kirill, yeah he's a blitzer." Paine shrugged. "He's an alright guy, protective over Rikku for sure."

"Well I would assume so, being her older brother." Keira tilted her head. "Have you run into some trouble?" She asked jokingly.

Paine took a sip of her water. "He likes me enough I guess."

"Well good." Keira thanked the waiter with a nod when their coffee finally arrived. Both women noticed that they both took it black without anything else added. "My older brothers…I have three mind you, they were the worst."

"Three?"

"I am one of five, do you remember my letter?"

Paine nodded then. "So another sister?"

Keira nodded. "Kassandra."

"I thought you said you didn't speak to them anymore." Paine asked as she reached for her cup.

Keira frowned and took the time to sip her coffee as well. "I ran away at 16, our father passed away a few years back and things didn't go so well for me at the funeral."

Paine took another sip of her coffee. "Oh."

"Allaso? He is my eldest brother, we are remotely close."

"Remotely close."

"We don't speak as often as we should however he has been a great deal of encouragement and support to me." Keira thought back to the taller man with shaggy raven hair and his warm honey eyes.

"Does anyone know about me?" Paine found herself asking she didn't know why she cared but the look Keira gave her confused her.

"I didn't try and hide you, Paine." She contemplated if she should say what she was going to next, she decided it was too soon she sent her daughter a soft smile. "Anyway."

Paine agreed with the change in subject, somehow people knowing about her was unsettling. "Yeah."

"Have you decided on my offer?"

"Which one?"

"The ticket to our spring production."

"Oh…" Paine thought about it. Rikku would enjoy herself, and maybe she could get Baralai to come out too….Baralai and Elma. Paine huffed at that last thought in her head. Whatever going on there had to stop, she was fairly confident that Lai would screw it up if he hadn't stopped it already. "Okay, what is it about?"

Keira leaned forward a bit and it was the first time Paine saw her become animated like she did on stage. "It's this story of a woman who impersonates a man in imperial Spira times. She does it for the honor of her father and ends up falling for her commander, who thinks she's a man. It is…darker, than Anastasia if that makes sense." Paine nodded. "Presentation is light, however while reading the script I couldn't help but notice how serious it was, and how some scenes were taken out for the sake of the Theatre, I think it's a real shame. This really is a beautiful piece of work." Keira smiled at the look on Paine's face. "I'm boring you."

Paine shook her head no. "I guess I just was never into plays before."

Keira sat back in her seat. "You came to Anastasia."

"Rikku asked me to go with her. She's into artsy things like that."

"Hm, you didn't enjoy it just a little then?"

Paine shrugged. "I mean I guess there were some cool parts."

"Like?"

"Like…" Paine sat up a little more and thought for a second. "Like the song you sang the…"

"Once Upon a December." Keira fought her smile.

Paine shrugged yet again. By the end of this lunch her shoulders were sure to be sore. "Sure."

"You liked that song most when you were little." Keira noticed how the woman across from her began to get uncomfortable. "Does it bother you when I talk about back then?" Paine didn't say anything. "You'd have to excuse me, I'm sorry, but to compare the Paine Amelia I've known to you now, well it is difficult. I like to…bridge."

"Well I've never known you, so it's a little weird."

"My apologies."

"No it's fine just…" Paine bit her lip. "I still don't know what to think or say to you. I mean… all this time you were never an issue because you never existed." Keira nodded. "Then this thing with Paul… let's just say I never thought I'd be in the position I am in now."

"You'd let me know will you? When I push too much?" Keira sighed and placed the coffee cup down that she had been holding. "Sitting across from you here isn't easy either… I've talked myself into believing all sorts of things about you Paine, about myself even. Life is not at all what we plan for and we make mistakes and we give up sometimes. It hurt like nothing I've ever felt to walk away from you that day, and I gave up." She paused. "I've grown since then into a person who doesn't want to hide from these things anymore. I hope that you can tell that my intentions are pure. I'm just sorry it has taken this long for me to grow up." She smiled at Paine in a way a mother could only smile at her daughter. "So if you would like to talk about Paul, we shall, and if you would like to talk about theatre we shall, but also if you just don't want to talk at all, well we can do that too. You don't need me as much as I need you, I am at your mercy."

That last line sat with Paine the entire way home, and it followed her into the shower, and down the block to the grocery store, and back home again, and into her room where she tried to begin reading but it wouldn't let her.

Keira needed her?

She didn't need Keira?

Paine thought about all the times growing up where she had sworn if she had parents things could be better. She thought about all the times where she hated the fact that she even needed parents to be born. She didn't want to know that she needed someone and it all came down to that last line. This situation was never about Paine needing to reconnect with Keira, hell Paine was finally starting to turn things around for herself, by herself. Sure the journey at the beginning of life calls for care takers, but Paine had that, and sure she had a few fucked up years but so what? She was sitting in _her_ apartment, eating _her_ own ice cream that _she_ bought with _her_ own money from _her_ own hard work. The idea that she still needed some kind of mental dependency was just craziness. Rikku had her father and her mother since she was young, it made it okay. But Paine never had that which wasn't really okay but then again it was because it instilled this sense of independence that Paine wouldn't trade for all the parents in the world. She was raised how she was raised and spending time dwelling on what ifs were not going to change her as a person. Maybe this had been in the back of Paine's head for a while now, but actually hearing, actually giving it words made things that were once complicated so simple.

She decided then, over a tub of rich rum raisin ice cream in her empty apartment that she would try and listen more when Keira spoke. Instead of looking at her as this higher being that was meant to do such and such by society's ideals and fell short, and could never change. She was her mother, yes, but she was also a person, a person with a lot to say.

Paine decided to listen.

##

Rikku trotted down the steps and tried her best to appear invisible to her father who was standing in the hall going through his pockets. "Milan have you seen my—"

"Can't chat right now Pops I have to meet Paine."

Cid looked up from what he was doing. "In that?"

Rikku looked down to the dress she was wearing. "Oh no Pops you thinks it's too long?"

"Long? Milan I think it's too short, you'll freeze!" The spring nights were still a tad nippy.

"I have a jacket." She supplied sheepishly.

Cid exhaled heavily and briefly went back to looking for his missing something. "So have the letters come in?"

"Uh.." Rikku slipped into her heels. "What letters?"

"The ones from the schools, weren't they due to come in today?"

Rikku half shrugged it was as if the side with the angle on her shoulder wouldn't commit to the action because of its false truth. "Nope, I guess maybe it got lost or…y'know, stolen."

"Stolen?" Cid raised a brow. He turned and looked at his daughter warily but then shook his head. "Where are you heading anyway?"

"Out with Paine." She noticed the look he got when she said that.

"I guessed that much but where Milan." He went back to looking for his thing.

"We're getting drinks at Lap, then going to her place…I'm spending the night."

"Have you seen my wallet?"

"Nope sorry Pops." Rikku walked over to him and jumped to kiss him on the cheek. Cid laughed at the fact that she still had to jump. It reminded him of when she was young and would swear up and down that once she was 20 she'd be all grown up and able to kiss him on the cheek properly.

"Have fun, and be safe."

"Aright alright alright." Rikku waved him off and grabbed her purse and jacket to be out the door.

Paine came to the door clad in long baggy sweats and her bra, a silver spoon crooked at the side of her mouth. She seemed pleasantly surprised but terribly confused.

"We were gonna spy on Lap, remember?" Rikku just rolled her eyes as Paine continues to stare. "I cannot believe you forgot! You always forget!"

Paine moved aside to let her unexpected girlfriend in. She was half rendered speechless by how amazing she looked in her little black dress, and then at how the creamy rum raisin ice cream coated her tongue. She locked the front door with one hand and took the spoon out of her mouth with the other "Was that tonight?" She asked carefully. After lunch with Keira her mind had just been all over the place.

"Paine we spoke this morning!" Rikku just stared at her when she got no response. "E naymmo naymmo lyhhud ihtancdyht ruf oui lyh aqlam eh y cipzald dryd naxienac oui du sasunewa lusbmelydat funtc pid oui lyh'd nasaspan dryd drec sunhehk fa yknaat du ku uid duhekrd! Ruhacdmo E zicd..." Rikku growled a little and placed her purse down on the counter top. "E kud tnaccat ib yht oui'na eh rana aydehk ela lnays!" She motioned to the freshly opened tub of rum raisin sitting beside her purse. "Pypo!"

"Alright alright!" Paine waved as if to calm her down a little. She walked over to the small tub of ice cream and stabbed it with her spoon one last time before putting the spoon in her mouth and then closing the container. "I thought you had that thing tonight anyway." She tried as she put the tub in the freezer.

"What thing?"

"That thing." Paine closed the freezer. "With Yuna…"

Rikku put her hands on her hips. 'I think that you are just trying to cover your butt right now."

"What am I supposed to do when you come in here acting all crazy?"

"Crazy? Pypo you forgot!"

You never call a crazy person crazy, Paine was realizing this.

"Alright I forgot, fuck!" Paine shook her head and disappeared into the only room in the small apartment with actual furniture in it. Rikku followed after her, she was looking in her closet for something to put on. There was a book sitting on the bed and it looked as if Paine had been reading.

"What were you reading?" Rikku asked curiously.

"A book." Paine grumbled.

Rikku huffed at her but smiled. It was only their nature to get a little aggravated at the other from time to time. Rikku picked up the book and read the title. "You're studying to teach Judo?"

Paine nodded as she tossed a pair of "nice" jeans on her bed. "It'll look good that I teach when I go to get my third dan." Rikku nodded. "This shirt?" She asked holding one up to her chin.

Rikku shook her head. "No, wear that white blouse, its Lap remember?"

"Well we're just going for drinks right?"

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "How can you remember that but not remember that we are actually going?"

Paine shrugged.

"Paine Kerrigan."

"Paine Kerrigan." Paine copied Rikku's groan teasingly.

"Just hurry up!" Rikku crossed her arms.

"Don't rush me, my look takes time." Paine smirked with her back to Rikku as she tried to locate the white blouse Rikku had been referring to.

"Could have fooled me." Rikku mumbled.

"What!?" Paine asked pretending she hadn't heard.

"Nothing sweetheart." Rikku chimed innocently as she took a seat on Paine's bed.

"Hm." Paine shook her head a little once she found the girly button up that Rikku liked her in for some reason. "I don't need to iron this do I?" She asked turning her attention to Rikku who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. "Rikks."

"Hm?" She jumped a little and looked to the shirt Paine was holding. "No, that looks fine… Hurry up."

Paine nodded and pulled her current shirt off before slipping her arms into the slightly ruffled sleeves. She went to start buttoning it up, a task that didn't need her complete attention so she allocated the rest to examining her girlfriend. "What's up Princess?"

Rikku looked back at Paine. "Nothing."

"I thought we agreed to stay honest." Paine said as she reached for her nice jeans on the bed beside her.

"Can't I just have one thought to myself?" Rikku asked without realizing how it sounded.

Paine nodded slowly. "You just seem distracted." She had said her fair share of off handed comments to the blonde, she wasn't about to attack her for it.

Rikku stood. "I just want to get on the road. Are you ready?"

Paine reached for money clip and cell phone. "Yeah yeah, let's go."

##

"….And she wasn't even wearing stockings. I just never thought they would reduce to hiring such…trash."

This is what his life had been reduced to. Meaningless conversation over a dinner he didn't even feel hungry enough to eat, no conversation with either of his daughters, and the ever present reminder that he was slowly disappearing into old age.

She had pointed out another gray hair before going on to talk about woman who was trash because she didn't want to wear something that Paul to this day did not understand.

It was like sports bras or ankle bracelets.

What was the point?

Paul pushed the roast aside on his plate and exhaled heavily before looking up at his wife. "Ellen if we are not going to talk about this, can we just…not talk?"

Ellen Moore glanced at her husband and picked up the napkin that was sitting on her lap to dab the corners of her moth where grease had collected. "That would be too peaceful for you." She said calmly.

Whoever thought Lulu was a real piece of work hadn't met Ellen. On the very inside she was a kind woman, everyone knew that, but it took a very long time to get there, a very very long time. Especially now a days, where a year ago she would be happily chatting with her daughter over fashion or anything at least, she felt isolation in her own family, and that for her was worse than any lie her husband could have told.

"So are you set on making my life hell?"

Ellen shrugged. "Would you like to talk about it?" She asked.

Paul hesitated. "Yes."

"Which part? The illegitimate child you had with the Kerrigan girl and how that's in no way perverse since you were older _and_ married, or the fact that our only child doesn't want us around her only child?"

"I'm not the only reason Lulu doesn't want to talk to you."

"Oh you have some insight for me then hm?"

"You found out she was pregnant and you pushed her to leave." He wasn't about to be blamed for everything now.

"What did you want me to do? Throw a party in the sleezeballs honor who knocked her up?"

"Lulu is an adult."

Ellen nodded. "True. Keira was…?"

Paul crossed his arms. "I was not that older than her."

"Okay fine then, how about already being married? How about that?"

"I thought we dealt with this then?"

Ellen stood from the table with a start. "It should have been Paul!" A mixed expression of anger and hurt grossed her usually stoic features before she left the dining room.

##

"Dr. P hey!"

Rikku glanced between the overly excited hostess and her girlfriend. There was a small exchange of pleasantries, her name was Tori she knew Paine was off of drugs, she had a dog name Kiev and apparently she had missed seeing Paine around the restaurant. As Rikku was waiting to be introduced as her girlfriend she decided that she didn't like Tori.

"Two for the bar."

"Who's your friend?" Tori asked motioning to the attractive blonde beside Paine.

_Friend_….

"Oh." Paine turned quickly and offered Rikku an apologetic look. "This is my girlfriend, Rikku."

Rikku relaxed when Tori's features faltered before introducing herself.

_Take that Tori!_

Once they found their stools near the end of the LapPig bar and ordered their drinks; Rikku a gin and tonic, Paine a coked down rum and coke, the two turned their stools toward one another while they waited. "You look nice tonight." Paine nodded approvingly of her dress. "But I'm gonna skip all that and just start guessing okay?"

Rikku furrowed her brows. "Guessing?"

Paine nodded. "Did you lose Little Puppy again?"

Rikku shook her head. "No."

"You're on you're—"

"No!" Rikku looked around. The restaurant was fairly crowded, even from the tucked away spot at the bar she could see that. "What exactly as you guessing?"

"Why you're in a mood."

"I'm not in a mood."

Paine shook her head and motioned to the hostess stand. "You were glaring at Tori for no reason."

"She wants to get in your pants."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "She likes men Rikku."

The blonde shrugged. "I thought I did too." Paine shook her head in amusement and then their drinks were placed down in front of them by none other than Gippal's personal lackey himself, Clasko.

"On the house."

Paine picked up her glass and raised it towards him in thanks before turning back to Rikku and taking a sip. "You always order that." She motioned with her glass to Rikku's gin and tonic as she placed her left foot on the base of Rikku's stool.

Rikku shrugged. "A girl's drink says a lot about her. A gin and tonic is classic."

"Hm. What does my drink say about me?"

"You're trying to stay sober tonight."

"Well I am so…" Paine let it be. She put her drink down and looked about the restaurant from where they sat. "Looks busy, wonder how the kitchen is doing." Gippal was going to want a full report when she visited him tomorrow morning.

"Should we order something? Y'know test the food?" Rikku asked not wanting to make their little date about something so serious just yet.

Paine shrugged. "If you want."

They decided on ordering some mini lobster rolls with seasoned french fries. This too was on the house. "So I remember the first time I came here." Rikku said as she wiped the corners of her mouth with the dainty cocktail napkins that has been given to them.

"Oh yeah?" Paine stopped herself from licking the butter off her fingers and followed Rikku's lead with the napkins.

"Mm, ordered the bass with polenta… Gippal was trying to get with me, he pretty much cornered me on my way to the bathroom, and I thought y'know what a creeper. Then I find out that that's just Gippal."

Paine laughed a little. "He came home and told me about you and I was y'now jealous." She shrugged.

"Aww Pypo."

She shrugged again and picked up a french fry. "But uh, I'm not anymore because I won." They way she said it implied that she meant it as a compliment and it seemed to work that way.

Rikku waved her off and reached for a fry herself. The mini lobster rolls were already finished between the two of them. They were aright, Gippal made them better though. "How did lunch with your mom go after the interview?" Paine had called her to talk about how she thought she did after the interview but not after she had lunch with her mother.

Paine exhaled and picked up her drink. "Good…really good.." She took a slow sip. "She didn't ask about Paul which I appreciated. She said everything should be up to me…"

Rikku smiled; genuinely happy that it went well. "Good."

"She has this way of asking questions that just makes me want to answer every avenue of it so she doesn't draw her own conclusions. What happens is I end up talking way more than I usually do and then we both just get real quiet…" She took another sip. "It's awkward for me."

Rikku chuckled and placed a hand on Paine's left arm. "And that's never a good thing." She teased,

Paine just smiled at her. "How was your day, baby?"

It was an innocent enough question but Rikku still removed her hand and picked up another fry. She popped it into her mouth, chewed, decided she wanted another, and completed the process twice more. She picked up her drink and then took a slow sip before turning her attention to the other woman. "Pypo we need to talk."

Paine raised an eyebrow; her relaxed domineer changing instantly at those five words."Alright." She put her drink down to show that she had all of her attention, finally ready to know what had been bother her all this time. The little Paines in her head began running in slightly panicked circles; trying to search for something she had done or didn't do.

Rikku leaned her elbow on the bar and tried to find the right words. "I got acceptance letters today." Paine's face brightened. "To almost everyone." Her face fell a little but she still seemed happy for her which Rikku thought was sweet. Of course Paine wanted her to do well, that was never to question. in fact it was owed to her for brining Rikku outside of the box and helping her take the steps to take her future more seriously.

A small smile held itself, and her eyes seemed just a bit brighter. "That's awesome." It was quiet, maybe like she was realizing for the first time what it could mean, maybe.

Rikku couldn't help her smile. "You really think so?"

Paine gave her a look. "Of course I do Rikks. This means you're sought after; you can negotiate financial aid packages and maybe even get a teaching assistant position. This is great news."

"Yeah but… what about us?"

Paine furrowed a brow. She looked away from Rikku for a moment. "I'm gonna support you no matter what, you know that."

Rikku sighed. "Pypo."

Paine shook her head with a sad sort of smile. "What do you want me to say? That I want you all to myself? Well I do, and you know that already but…y'know ultimately it's up to you, and if Bevelle is one of the schools we shouldn't even be having this conversation."

"That's what Pops pretty much said."

"You told him?"

"No, not yet."

"Is Bevelle one of the schools?"

Rikku glanced around them then back at Paine and simply nodded. Paine turned forward to face the bar in her stool and didn't say anything. How could she? Everything she wanted to say would be selfish of her and Rikku deserved better than that.

Yet still she pressed "Say something."

Paine looked back at her. "Now you just have to choose."

"Between you or Bevelle? I'd choose you every time."

"No, not between me and Bevelle."

"That's ultimately what it comes down to through Pai. I mean…we're not going to pull a Tidus and Yunie are we?" Paine mumbled something. "What?"

"I said I hope not."

Rikku sighed with frustration. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Paine shook her head. "You shouldn't apologize for your talent. You're amazing that's why you got in."

"Yeah but now we're here." She shook her head. "Even though I have already made up my mind."

"Well…Think about it some more." Paine advised before picking up her drink.

"I'm not going to tell Pops that I got in."

"Rikku no."

"Why? He's just going to make me go whether I decide to or not. He's paying for it, he'll pull that nonsense and then I won't even have a chance to weigh my options."

"I looked it up…"

"You looked it up?"

"SBU is a great school."

"Why would you look it up?"

"Because I knew this would happen."

"Paine."

Paine sighed and tried to calm down to see it from Rikku's prospective, but that wasn't working. "Princess I can't be this."

"What?"

"This person that holds you back."

Rikku was quiet. She turned forward in her stool and finished her drink without saying anything. Paine did the same, watching her every move from her side wondering if she should say something. Paine declined the second drink offer from Clasko but Rikku accepted hers.

As the clear icy liquid was placed down in front of her she looked to her right at Paine's expression. It was sad, but then again more concerned than anything else. "What if I said you wouldn't hold me back?" Somehow this had become a question about if she were to stay or go when in reality Rikku had already had this talk with herself. She didn't want to worry Paine if she didn't have to. She had already spent the entire day thinking about this.

Paine didn't say anything; she just looked at her waiting.

Rikku turned to look at Paine, honesty brimming in her swirly green eyes. "Paine…I know myself, do you really think I would be happy so far away from everything that I love? I've done this before without having a choice or say, I'm not doing it again." Even though she was young, leaving Home had been extremely hard on her, especially since her Common wasn't that good, and especially once her mother passed away. It was strange to say but after all these years she now felt settled in the large city.

Paine sat with that until she realized her girlfriend was actually asking a question. "No babe, but we adapt y'know. You'd adapt."

Rikku shook her head. "I want to accomplish things for myself yes, but I need you like I need jelly beans okay?" Her eyes were pleading, she didn't want to fight. "Even now during the week when we don't see each other I'm just going through the motions, taking up space. Pop will be upset, but you know what I don't really care."

"I can't—" Paine sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair. Rikku heard her curse under her breath. She looked so conflicted and confused right now.

Rikku reached forward and rested a hand on Paine's forearm. "Why are you stressing out? I'm not asking you to do anything for me, you do enough. I'm just asking you to let me make my own decisions and trust that I'm going to do what I think is best for me."

Paine nodded slowly when she realized that she was in fact stressing out about what to do. "It's your decision to make."

Rikku squeezed Paine's arm. "I'm going to The Mi'ihen institute." Seeing Paine visibly relieved made her chuckle a little. "I love you and my life here, plus I think Yunie would be pissed if after all this I just left her too."

Paine upturned her arm and slid her hand into Rikku's. She smiled at their contact, she always did when Rikku took her hand, though they were smaller than Paine's, Rikku's hands were always warm, always. "Well you know how I feel." Paine settled on, feeling a little uncomfortable having such a moment with Rikku in a packed restaurant on a Friday night. Rikku only smiled. "Are they at least offering you a lot of money?"

Rikku slipped her hand out of Paine's and reached for her drink. "More than any other since I live here…"

"I'm real proud of you babe." The admission only made Rikku smile warmly so Paine just decided to run with what she was thinking. "Even if you change your mind…I'll still be proud, and I'll still be like, your biggest fan okay?"

"Stop, you're being all sweet and I didn't wear the right mascara for this." Rikku said honestly feeling a little tug at her chest with the way Paine was looking at her.

Paine smirked. "Now you just gotta tell Cid."

Rikku's face dropped. "Way to kill the moment!"

Paine chuckled. "You think he'd really be bent outta shape because of this?"

Rikku sighed and reached for her glass, a sudden calm falling over her despite the topic. She and Paine were okay, and she was accepted into school, and she was sipping on a free drink. Life was good. Paine watched as she impressively downed the rest of the strong liquid before placing her glass down on the bar and looking off. "Have you learned nothing about my father?" She looked back at Paine. "He's great until—"

"Until you need him." Paine finished and Rikku nodded.

"I hate needing him sometimes."

Paine nodded. "I know the feeling."

**AN: Made this guy a little longer since I haven't reached my personal deadline for this. Hope you all enjoyed, please review!**

**KathleenDee **


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter Fifty Six**

Rikku was alone in her attic mulling over the use of an old piece of charcoal she had found. Her hands were caked in the black tar and so was just about everything else she touched. She was chatting on the phone to her grandmother today when it had hit her.

Suddenly she had been a mood to create.

It was about time really, Rikku could always count on the anxiety of life to get her creative gears begging for some oil and attention.

It had to be about 11 at night. Her father downstairs in his home office arguing with someone in a different time zone about the docks and trading agreement. Honestly it was weird not seeing him a suit every morning when she got up. She knew he was good at many things but still, this whole businessman thing was more of her uncle's style.

Rikku couldn't look at him

Something in her just couldn't get over him reacting the way he did with Auron, she knew that's where this all stemmed from. The smarter, almost college graduate side knew this was not the case, but feelings were feelings. Rikku leaned a hand forward and pressed the charcoal against the thickest canvas she had and drowned it out. It was only the sound of her cell phone ringing with Paine's signature jazzy ringtone that made her lift her hand again and quickly search for a rag to wipe her hands. She picked up on the last ring. "Pypo!?"

"Hey, I'm off work." came her girlfriend's tired voice.

Rikku smiled at the thought of cuddling up with her and having Paine fall asleep first. She didn't know why she liked when that happened but she did. Rikku softened her voice. "Ruf ec so Muja?"

Paine finally got into her car and sniffled a few times. "Fucking spring…" Who the hell invented nighttime allergies? She really wanted to know so she could find them and kick their ass.

"Drink some tea, I left a box at your place."

"Sleepy Time Tea?" Paine asked hopefully. That stuff was gross but boy could she use some decent sleepy times.

Rikku smiled. "Ah no, I would have to make that for you." She thought about. "You don't have cloves do you?"

Paine shook her head as she pulled out of the parking lot she would come to park in again only in a few hours. She hadn't told Rikku that she was taking extra shifts cleaning out the gym area for a number of reasons, one was her pride, the other had to do with the fact that telling Rikku would mean that she had to explain why she needed so much extra cash and that was not happening. She hadn't picked a ring for this thing, but the place Gippal was telling her about had a fifty percent down payment policy first, her girlfriend was not gonna wear some cheap shit. Sure this wasn't anything crazy, but Gippal had stressed its importance, and every time she saw the blonde's right hand it was solidified.

This _was_ important.

She calculated everything to work out so that when the next show came out for the agency that would just be rent money and for a nice shirt for graduation.

Paine sniffled. "Nah."

"Well then just come over and I'll make you a cup."

"Have you talked to Cid like we talked about?"

Rikku sighed heavily. "So you're not coming over because I didn't talk to him? That's ridiculous Paine."

"So you didn't talk to him…"

"I was going to…"

"Uhuh."

"So you're really not going to come and see me?"

"Not until you talk to him…"

"This isn't fair!"

"He's already mad at me for doing you, you really wanna give him something else?" She was trying to stay in Cid's good graces.

"I'll make it worth your while." Rikku flirted.

Paine huffed. "New low, Princess."

Rikku giggled and shrugged to herself. "That's not even the big guns; don't make me pull out the big guns."

Paine had to admit to laughing a little on the inside. "Even if I said yes, which no matter what amount of sex you offer me is not going to happen—"

"What am I thinking you can wait can't you? Waited how many months to kiss me?"

Paine rolled her eyes but chuckled. "—because you and I both sat down and talked about why telling Cid the truth was better—"

"I liked it better when you called him mister Bayla." Rikku mumbled.

"—than waiting until you had a diploma in your hands."

"I haven't seen you all week!"

Paine sighed, she had worked Monday too, and even though she went to her meeting like Rikku wanted they hadn't seen each other. "I know baby."

"So…How about I come to you?"

"…." Paine tried to think of an excuse. "It's late."

"I have a late class tomorrow."

"I have an early one."

"The gym doesn't count. I miss you; I wanna see you and hug you and give you kisses, why are you punishing me?" Rikku asked cutely.

Paine smiled. "Rikku how would you rather him find out?"

She groaned loudly in response and hung up, Paine only laughed and made sure to park her car on the street so Rikku had her spot when she finally got there around 11:45pm.

##

Rikku wrapped an arm around Paine's midsection and rested her chin on her clavicle."I'm just nervous…"

"Do you want me to be there?" She found Rikku's worried green eyes. "I'll go with you." She whispered when she noticed how nervous she really seemed. "Y'know a part of me is wondering if you're not worried about telling him where you're going, you're worried about telling him why."

Rikku looked away a little ashamed. "Yeah…He already made it clear that my reasons were poopy." Paine waited. Rikku looked back at her and brought her hand to cup Paine's jaw. "I know he's only thinking about my future and stuff but…I don't think he knows how I need you."

Paine shook her head lightly. "I'm not going anywhere Rikks. You know that right?"

Rikku's hand slid from her jaw and the blonde sighed. "I know."

Paine reached for the hand that had slid off her face. "If this is what you want…" She fought with what she was trying to say, it wasn't easy and she knew Rikku knew it, but she still needed it to be said. "I'll do whatever it takes; you really think we couldn't handle something like this?"

"I know we could but…" Rikku shrugged and found Paine's eyes. "I don't want to." Rikku shook her head. "I don't want to Paine."

"Alright."

"I love you."

Paine pressed her lips against the blondes sweetly. "I love you too, Princess." She whispered. Rikku snuggled closer against her and didn't say anything more. Paine wrapped both arms around her sensing that she wanted to be held fully. "I've got you." She murmured, Rikku exhaled heavily and closed her eyes.

Why was this becoming such a big deal? Whatever happened to the new and fearless Rikku? Rikku tightened her eyes closed and sunk further into the familiar and loving embrace Paine was giving her.

##

Paine woke super early the next morning to a loud scream. She quickly began to go into her fight mode when she noticed Rikku wasn't lying beside her. She jumped out of bed and burst into the bathroom door when she noticed the light was on.

"Ah! Pypo kill it! Kill it!" Rikku was standing on the edge of the bathtub in her underwear pointing somewhere in the bathroom behind the toilet. Paine quickly went over to where she was pointing and exhaled in relief. She grabbed a wad of toilet paper and effectively smashed the baby roach that had ventured away from its parents. "Ew ew ew ew ew." Rikku watched her flush it and then looked around the bathroom floor expecting an army to retaliate or something.

Paine just shook her head. "It was the size of an ant Rikku, get down from there before you hurt yourself." She yawned and began to leave.

"Hey wait!" Paine stopped and turned around. Rikku extended her arms and bit her lip cutely. "Carry me?"

"What the fuck?"

"I'm scared!"

"I'm going back to sleep." Paine mumbled.

"You can't just leave me in here! Paine!"

Paine got back into bed and shook her head, the adrenaline rush she was feeling kept her awake long enough to hear Rikku cautiously move about the bathroom before running into the room and jumping over her onto the bed, Paine groaned in annoyance but Rikku didn't care.

##

Yuna watched the two approaching with a little smile. They were holding hands which was adorable since it was something they didn't do a lot, especially not on campus. Paine was wearing her leather jacket and jeans with her messenger bag hanging off her left shoulder. Rikku was wearing a cute floral patterned blouse that was long enough to wear beige colored leggings and had her backpack on her back like the good college student she had become.

"Yunie!" Rikku waved happily while bouncing up and down a little in her Rikku like fashion. "Pai, look it's Yunie."

Paine nodded. "Hey Yuna."

"Hey you two."

"Where is Teedus?" Rikku asked looking around. "Wait, you two aren't fighting again are you?"

Yuna chuckled lightly. "I don't think so. I'm actually not sure where he is as we don't…" Rikku nodded.

"I gotta head to class, Rikks." Paine motioned with her chin in the direction of her first class.

Rikku frowned a little but nodded. "I'll see you later."

Paine nodded and leaned down to kiss Rikku on the cheek before offering Yuna little smile and leaving. Rikku watched her leave and then turned to Yuna. "She totally left me to die last night." Rikku pointed. "Don't be fooled, all that sweetness was to get back on my good side."

Yuna laughed. "Oh yeah?"

Rikku nodded and the two began walking toward the coffee shop. "Like this roach was the size of a sand dollar!"

"Ew."

"I know!" Rikku shook her head. "She killed it but you know for every one you see there are tens of thousands."

"Tens of thousands?" Yuna asked a little skeptical about the logic of her ratio.

Her cousin nodded. "I brought up an article on my phone on the way to school." The blonde pulled her cell phone out. "See?"

Yuna read a few lines as they maneuvered the crowded quad area. "Do you really think this is something you should be focusing on?"

Rikku took her phone back and stopped, Yuna did as well. "Yunie, Paine is willing to be long distance, she told me last night."

Yuna raised an eyebrow. "Wow." A very small part of her felt a little jealous. Tidus was no Paine though. She knew since getting her acceptance letters Rikku had been plagued with doubts and worries. Of course she didn't want her cousin to go, but life was life and if there was something in Bevelle for her, Yuna genuinely wanted her to have it. "So… does this mean that you'll leave?"

Rikku shook her head. "Of course not but…she said she'd do whatever it takes, I'd be lying if I didn't find that just a little surprising though, I mean we love each other a lot, like she's…everything. It's just…with Pops I know he'll blame Paine. I wish he could just know that this was all me, Pai is just trying to be supportive."

"Why don't you just tell him that then?"

"Once the words leave my mouth that I got accept to SBU, but am not going he's not going to hear anything else."

Yuna wanted to rebuttal, but this was her uncle here, she had known him all her life just like Rikku. "Rikku Uncle Cid loves you."

Rikku sighed. "I know, Paine said she'd come with me to talk to him but I think I'd better do this by myself."

Yuna nodded. "C'mon, let's hurry and get a seat so we can order something to eat, did you eat breakfast?"

Rikku nodded. "Paine made waffles."

Yuna smiled teasingly. "So are you guys living together or what?"

Rikku smiled at her cousin's efforts, a small blush tickled her ears. "Yunnniieee."

Yuna chuckled as they began walking again. "It wasn't a dumb question."

"Yeah but it's totally not fair 'cause of all this stuff that's going on, I can't think about that now."

"But you want to." Yuna pressed.

Rikku laughed a little. "Someone has to stop her from making the place a live-in gym."

The two found a small corner booth at the understandably busy student run coffee shop. They ordered lattes and chatted idly. Neither of their classes started till around noon, but they liked to hang out with one another when they had the time, especially when life was as busy as it was now for the two young women.

They were talking about sketching and Yuna's new job at the modeling agency when the brunette perked up a little and shifted her gaze toward the cashier's counter at the center of the shop. Rikku had her back to this particular area and was going on about how she had to clean the attic because of the charcoal mess she created, noticing that something else had caught Yuna's attention was near impossible.

"Your best friend, six o'clock." Yuna motioned with her head and Rikku turned only to sink back into her seat and turn toward Yuna.

"Please tell he's not coming over here."

"Is he still begging for forgiveness?" Yuna asked curiously.

"No way, I think he got the point when I ignored him for like what? three months."

"He's coming over here."

Rikku quickly turned and groaned when she realized Yuna was right. "I don't even have the time to think about this. Can we just pretend I was in an accident and went deaf?" She asked seriously causing her cousin to giggle and almost spill her luke-warm latte.

"It would explain why you were ignoring the texts…you couldn't hear them?"

"You're wicked." Rikku grumbled.

"Yuna, Rikku…hi." Buddy Lawrence was wearing a fleece turtle neck and some dark denim jeans while holding a hot coffee in his right hand and a textbook in his left.

Yuna smiled. "Hi Brandon."

Rikku glanced at him before looking back at her coffee. "Hey."

"Listen a couple guys from the team are going to have a beach bonfire this weekend. Tidus will be there." He nodded at Yuna. "Cap'n Wakka said he might stop by, it's just for the seniors y'know and I thought I'd see if you two wanted to come…." He hesitated. "You can totally bring Paine, Rikku."

Rikku raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that's a good idea. "

He didn't think so either and he was glad she was the one to say it. He tried to appear disappointed. "Well the invitation still stands; a lot of the graduating class will be there so…you should come anyway."

"We'll think about it." Yuna nodded.

"Great." He smiled and then looked back at Rikku. "I um…hope you can make it." With that he turned and left and Yuna raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's what I'm dealing with."

Yuna laughed. "I mean he just…he just pretty much asked you to be his date!" She teased.

"Oh shut up Yunie."

Yuna grinned. "Fine, so do you want to go? Sounds like fun from what Tidus told me."

"Are you kidding? Paine would flip; she really really doesn't like him Yunie like…really. She's made it as clear as day. It's so annoying sometimes how she gets."

"She just doesn't want to get hurt, which means she cares." Yuna reasoned.

"She's territorial. I thought only men could be like that."

Yuna shrugged. "Anyway Tidus asked me to go with him…"

"As his date right? Cause you two are totally not dating."

"No we're not…we're just…" Rikku raised an eyebrow. "We're just hanging out."

"Did you guys do it?"

"No!" Yuna shook her head. "Not since Valentine's Day."

Rikku nodded slightly impressed. It was mid May "Well then….maybe you two are really just…hanging out."

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Can we talk about something less confusing? Like Brandon Lawrence?"

"Why are we talking about him!"

Yuna laughed. "Because you get so upset."

Rikku took a sip of her latte. "I'm not talking about him because there is nothing to say. Sure for a little while there I liked the attention, but ever since New Year's he just reminds me of Auron, and then that reminds me of every single reason why I don't think I can be with a man ever again." Rikku brought her latte to her mouth but then paused, "I mean he's handsome don't get me wrong… it's just that I don't know what will happen if the situation ever happened for me to…do things, and I'm in deep with Paine, anyone else would just make me depressed I'm sure of it." Rikku thought about it some more and then nodded again. Just the thought of thinking about anyone else like that made her feel nauseous. "I wish she knew how much I think about her…Anyway with Buddy? She's like a half a step away from hurting him for real. I mean she's capable I don't doubt that at all."

"That's kind of scary."

"New Years really… slowed me down."

Sensing that the topic really did need to be changed Yuna thought quickly. "Lulu invited me over the other day, wanna come? See Vidina."

"Aren't we all supposed to have dinner?"

She nodded. "Between our schedules, Wakka's Paine's and Lulu's it's starting to look impossible to plan.

Rikku nodded. "Paine's been working all week, on the weekends she goes to Judo and Martha every other week. I don't know what is making her run so fast but I've been meaning to tell her to take it easy."

"Well Paine has a lot of responsibility, especially once she graduates. That's what? five and a half weeks from now?" Rikku nodded. "Plus maybe she just feels extra motivated for some reason."

"It worries me how thin she spreads herself, but to her I'm crazy. I'm the crazy one in our relationship by the way."

Yuna chuckled. "I can see that."

Rikku huffed with a little laugh. She took a long moment to enjoy her drink before speaking again. "I have to submit my acceptance letter back in with all my information for the potential summer courses."

Yuna nodded. "I don't think I've said how happy and proud of you I am."

"Aw Yunie."

"I mean it; you've turned things around so much that…well it's inspiring. To think, only in a year from Monday…You finish inviting everyone for Sunday? I mean I hope this doesn't backfire on us, surprise birthday parties can be very hostile environments." She warned half jokingly.

Rikku just sat there not believing what Yuna had just said. A year ago on Sunday she woke up giddy with the expectation of seeing Paine and finally talking about their feelings, the excitement only heightened when she heard the doorbell downstairs, and then just like that. It was all gone. "I didn't realize that... it was a whole year."

Yuna furrowed her brows. For the past week she had been over the moon about planning the surprise party for her girlfriend, now she just looked pale and unsure. "Are you alright?" She had no way of knowing the exact date of the attack; she had been too floored in the courthouse that day to pay attention to things like the date and time.

Realizing a bit of this Rikku pulled herself together and smiled. "I've actually been thinking about not doing the party…I mean I would love a surprise party, but Paine might…I don't know. I don't think she likes surprises very much." Rikku chuckled. "Remember Valentine's Day?"

##

"There she is! Juliann open it." Cid motioned to Leblanc who was holding a bottle of the city's finest champagne.

Rikku paused at the door with Kimahri on a leash at her side. She decided to take him to the dog park after school for Yuna since she had work. "What's all this?" She asked nervously as she watched the bottle being poured into three thin flutes: the head spilling a little over the side of one particular glass.

Cid grinned. "Your letters came in."

Rikku's face dropped as a glace of sparkling wine was pushed into her free hand. Did she leave them somewhere?

"Congratulations Rikku Milan." Leblance nodded.

Cid came over and began to usher the young woman further into the house since she hadn't yet moved from the spot near the threshold of the door. Rikku planted her feet not letting herself be pushed any further. "Pops hold on…" She tried.

"Nonsense, we're celebrating! You've worked so hard and for a while had some things happens and this just proves that you're my daughter. Cheers!"

Rikku glanced at Leblanc for help. Leblanc paused and squinted at the little look she was giving her. "Cid—"

"You know for a second I will admit to being a little worried but you're more like your mother than I thought. She'd be so proud Milan."

Rikku shrugged her father's heavy arm from around her shoulders at that and let go of Kimahri's leash. The large dog ran over to the puddle of Champaign on the wooden floor and lapped it up before running off. Rikku shook her head and handed the flute back to her father who looked at it in a confused manner."I promised Yunie I'd take Kimmie to the dog park and it closes at six so…" She began to push her way through the mini celebration. Leblanc locked eyes with Cid and tried to stop him.

"Wait a minute I'll walk the damn dog if it gets too late. Won't you just sit down and take the time to relish in your accomplishments? Now I didn't go to BSU myself, but your Uncle did, and he was overjoyed at the news.—"

"You called Uncle B before I had a chance to talk to you?" Rikku asked incredulously. "Pop!"

Cid sighed heavily. "Milan what is the problem?" He asked firmly.

Rikku glanced at Leblanc and then back at her father. She shrugged and then looked to the floor. "I'm not going."

##

Rikku answered the phone in tears. "Hello?"

"Baby?" Paine asked sounding confused.

Rikku sniffled and wiped her chin. "Hey Pypo."

"Are you crying? What's wrong?" Paine put down the sandwich she had packed for her dinner break at work.

Rikku didn't want to fall back into the spiral of tears that had consumed hear for the better part of the evening but hearing Paine's voice just did things to her. She began to weep pathetically; all the passionate tears had long since passed and though it actually felt good she was too tired to put these tears to real work. "I'm just…I'm just tired of this okay?"

Paine nodded quickly. "Okay okay."

"Today everywhere I turned just reminded me of everything that I didn't want to be but was…am…"

Paine's frown deepened. "What happened today?"

"First the thing with the roach and and then I …Buddy and then the thing and…I told Pops Paine." She began crying a little more. "Like I came home and he was all happy and even wanted to celebrate, he told me he was proud and he told me how the family was proud and with all the shit that happened last year, the trial and uncle B getting involved and looking at me differently and school and just…it felt really good to just have him proud of me for real. It made it seem like I could erase the things I've done in the past." She wiped her face again and shook her head at herself. "I killed it, I did and now I'm sitting here not knowing how to face him because he looked….I don't even know! Suddenly I've become—once again the person that follows what somebody else wants…He makes me feel so stupid. like I can't make up my own mind."

"What I want? Baby I just want you to be happy." Paine pushed the sandwich away from her.

"You think Pops understands that? No, all he sees is me throwing my future away for the first person to look at me after I was…" She exhaled heavily. "…Pai?"

Paine suddenly felt anger within her grow. "Did he say that to you?" She didn't care if this guy was her dad or not.

"Not in so many words….he was a little tipsy."

Paine shook her head and bit her lip to stop herself from saying something that would probably upset Rikku. It didn't sound like she was mad at her father, just herself. "You know how I feel about you, we met before the whole Auron thing escalated, I wanted you before I even knew you." Rikku just sniffled on the other line. "I'm fucking pissed now."

"Stop, don't be."

"How can I not be when he thinks that about us?" With everything she was ready to put down in the name of their relationship it was upsetting to be portrayed as someone who preyed upon the weak, a user.

"I know he doesn't really think that."

"So then why would he say it?"

"Because Paine what else is he supposed to say, he's my dad, he's supposed to try and protect me from making stupid mistakes, especially with my track record."

"You're not stupid."

"That doesn't excuse the things that I've done."

"Rikku I don't know what to say to you right now."

"Just tell me you love me, cause right now I feel like my world is warped and nothing at all makes sense."

Paine sighed. "I love you."

Rikku smiled a little but it was behind tears. She didn't know why she was feeling such a weight of guilt, it was like swallowing a whole sack of marbles, try living with marbles in your tummy. "I love you too."

"I can leave."

Rikku shook her head. "I think I just need to get over trying to please everyone."

"I don't like when you cry."

"I'm just having a moment."

Paine shook her head. "Still…."

Cid paced the den floor. "Juliann—"

"Can you let her make a single decision on her own?"

"I let her make so many decisions on her own. What she wears, who she dates, when she leaves and comes home? For once I don't think I am the bad guy here." He had sobered up very quickly, took Kimahri for a walk to be with his thoughts and then came back to find Rikku locked in the attic and Leblanc sipping on the expensive Champagne like it was just another day with the Baylas.

"The Kerrigan girl."

Cid paused. "It's not that I don't like Paine. I do, I wouldn't have allowed Rikku to date her if I didn't. she's like a part of this family, it's just that this is a major decision and she should not be influencing Milan like this."

"How do we know she is?"

Cid stopped. "They have become too serious, too fast and you know what is going to happen to that thing they have? It's going to get worn out and tired. I don't want it to, but really, Milan is only twenty one!"

"Only twenty one, Cid darling you have to understand the circumstances that made them that way."

"Are you saying it's my fault?"

"Not outright."

Cid sighed heavily. "I love my daughter, I want her to do well, I do not think staying here will do that for her."

"A young Al Bhed woman living alone in Bevelle?"

Cid sighed. "Times have changed."

"For men." Lebalnc patted the couch beside her and smiled a little when Cid plopped himself down and ran his hands down his face. "How do you think you learned anything at all?" Cid looked at her questioningly. "By making mistakes."

"Bayla's don't make mistakes." Cid half grinned. It was something he always said to her while working.

Leblanc smiled this time. "And is she not a Bayla? Or is there an exception somewhere in the genetics?"

Cid's grin fell and he was quiet for a little while. He put his hands out a small distance from one another and looked at the imaginary thing in his colossal hands. "She was this small." He said quietly before looking back at Leblanc. "I could hold her in one hand if I wanted to, but I never did because I was afraid of dropping her." He looked back at his hands remembering what it felt like to hold Rikku for the first time, she was a pink little thing and he remembered that she was so cold the midwifes had bundled her in an extra blanket. It made her seem a lot bigger than she actually was. He had hair back then, Kirill in a brace from breaking an arm from playing to roughly with the neighborhood boys. Tahla had fallen asleep while he sat there just holding the little girl. He was scared, little girls were hard, he'd seen his brother in law struggle everyday with the fact that his one love was brought into the world while his other was taken out. Cid could remember it all just like it was yesterday. He tried the name Rikku out a few times to see how it would sound on her, and that's when she looked at him, like already she knew her name. "Tahla would laugh, say it was silly of me to think like that, to think I could drop her…for a long time I thought I couldn't, then…then I dropped her and I left her there for weeks on end, hurt and upset for being left. I'm not ever going to try and hold with one hand ever again."

"Letting go isn't easy." Leblanc tilted her head. "But I bet, even though she is a bit runtish, I bet she can't fit in your hands anymore Cid." Cid sighed, clearly it wasn't something he wanted to hear. "You are making her feel guilty for no reason, you raised her for her to be like you, a lawyer; to think for herself and always challenge things. This is your own fault." Leblanc joked quietly and rested a hand on his arm.

"I still don't think—"

"You can think whatever you like, and you can present your thoughts to her in a less impulsive way, but at the end of the day, her life is her own."

Cid nodded slowly. He leaned forward and surprised Juliann with a small kiss. He smiled at her surprise and then reached for the opened bottle of champagne. It paid to buy the expensive stuff; the bottle was still cold and the perlage still constant. "I'll be right back." He stood and disappeared. His heavy steps heard moments later climbing the two sets of stairs.

Rikku looked up from her conversation with Paine to the intruder. "No boys allowed."

Cid sighed. "How about Pops?"

Rikku watched him for a moment before turning so he wouldn't see her face. "Pypo? I gotta go okay?...I know…..I love you too." She hung up and looked back at her father. "Is this the part where you kick me out or something?" She threw in the air just to see the hurt in his features, it wasn't right but Rikku needed that one little victory at least. She blamed it on the part of her that was under twenty-five.

"No." Cid looked about the art studio in the attic; he hadn't been up here in forever. With some well intended steps he sat on the ground next to Rikku with his back against the crimson colored loveseat. "This is the part where I apologize." He showed Rikku the bottle of Champagne with the pretty label. "Milan I may not always say what I mean, and I may always say the wrong things, and for that I'm sorry. I love you so very much and after this year all I want for you is nothing but easy living." Rikku nodded. "I want you to continue to become the great woman I know you will be, and sometimes that want gets in the way of me seeing things." His tone was gentle and it caused Rikku to warm up to him quickly. He had a way of using his tone to his advantage, Rikku knew this, but he sounded like her Daddy right now and that's what made her stay quiet and just listen. "The Mi'ihen Institute is perfect for what you want to do here, but Bevelle is perfect for what you want to do everywhere."

"How did you know that you would leave Home Pop? You didn't know that, I'm sure the school you went to there was good for there, but not here."

"I wasn't as young as you are though and believe you me your grandmother didn't want me to go anywhere with her grandbabies."

Rikku pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. "Sometimes what seems right for most isn't right for all."

Cid nodded. "I just worry that you are making this decision with your heart and not your head."

Rikku nodded and then glance at her father. "I am, what is wrong with that?"

"Thinking about these things is never fun, but it makes you wise."

"How can I live with my head in one place and my heart in another Pop? How?"

"Paine is—"

"The only person who makes me feel like I'm not just the worst human being on Spira for what I've done. She accepts me one hundred percent, and loves me with this energy that I know isn't being sold on the corner at a Rin pharmacy." Cid was quiet and Rikku looked back at her toes. "I love her Pops, and If I have to choose—"

"I'm not asking you to."

"But you think we're too young to feel this way?"

Cid sighed. Kirill just played along; Rikku was the one who asked all the hard questions. "In my experience, feeling this attached to someone at your age doesn't last long." Rikku only huffed. "I didn't say it wasn't possible, I simply said in my experience the norm was that it didn't last long. I don't think you should make decisions based on a.. on a wind, are you understanding?"

Rikku nodded. "So…"

"I like Paine; she is everything besides the male parts that I could ever have wondered for you. I appreciate her, and I enjoy having the two of you around the house. I just am asking to really think about it."

"Paine is a reason, but she isn't the biggest."

Cid tilted his head. "What then?"

"I wouldn't be happy there Pop. Everyone and everything that makes me happy, and makes me want more for myself is here. I've made up my mind."

Cid sighed but nodded. He handed her the sparkling wine bottle. "Then I believe a proper celebration is in order."

After staying up and talking with Leblanc and her father Rikku retired to her room, and sent Paine a text asking if she were still awake. She put her phone on the bathroom counter and decided that tonight was going to be bubble bath night. She had so much on her mind now with the conversation she had with her dad. She really was happy he came back upstairs to talk with her, and despite the bubbly being a little flat it tasted all the better once she and Cid got downstairs to sit with Leblanc and share stories about their Graduate school experiences. Though his stance on her relationship with Paine was a bit troubling Rikku knew that it was nothing personal against Paine, he had said himself that he liked her. Rikku brought in some candles as the bath filled and wondered when the last time she actually had a bubble bath was. She lit the candles and then stripped out of her clothes and turned off the water. Just then her cell phone buzzed. Rikku brought it to the side of the tub and eased in with a moan and let her muscles relax before looking at it.

_**Just got home**_

Rikku checked the time on her phone and furrowed her brows. It was like one in the morning. She was going to send Paine a text but then decided to just call her. Paine picked up on the third ring.

"Hey."

"How are you now getting home?" She just asked. Paine was a smart girl, but sometimes beating around the bush took forever.

Paine winced at the truth that slipped. "I had to stay late to lock up lock up."

"Lock up, lock up?"

"Yeah, you know how I close sometimes? Well I had to…" Paine thought quickly. "Had to close the whole department, there is a security guy who usually does that."

Rikku nodded slowly. "Hm."

"How are you though? You okay?" She asked softening her tone in concern.

Rikku exhaled and nodded as she lifted her right leg into sight from the mountain of lavender scented bubbles. "Taking a bubble bath."

Paine smirked tiredly and sat on her bed. "So you're wet. Nice."

Rikku giggled. "Pypo."

Paine was glad she could make her laugh just a little, she sounded exhausted. "How come you never bubble bath when I'm around?"

"Cause I don't need you bothering me, it's supposed to be relaxing."

"I can relax you."

"Hm." Rikku shook her head. "So then come over." She called Paine out knowing the other woman was all talk when she was ready.

"Cid would let me by? At one something in the morning? Not even he is that oblivious. I came for one reason and one reason only."

"Booty call."

"Exactly."

"Princesses need love too."

"I'm more than capable of doing that for you m'lady."

They shared a small laugh and then Paine finally settled back on her bed. "You sound better though, what happened?"

Rikku sighed heavily and smiled when she noticed the little rubber ducky with a candle in its back floating past her. "I love you." She smiled remembering their first kiss on their first date.

Paine went with it sensing that the blonde was probably talked out for the night. "I love you too."

"How much?"

Paine smiled tiredly. "Bunches baby."

Rikku pulled the little duckling closer to her. "I've got our rubber ducky in here."

"You do?"

"Yup."

"We should name him."

"Little Ducky."

"How did I know that's what it would be?"

"Cause you know."

"Making those things was a bitch."

"Where are all the other ones?"

"I left them on the lake remember?"

"Ah poop."

"I had to find ducks that would actually float with added weight and shit, and then since I was just gonna leave them there I needed to get candles that would burn out on a time, the one I gave you doesn't do that though so be careful."

"I'm gonna keep this little guy forever." Rikku said absent mindedly. "You put a lot of work into it. That was the best first date ever Pai."

Paine smiled. "Well I'm glad you gave me a shot."

"I'm glad you gave _me_ a shot."

"We're both glad."

"When am I going to see you again?"

Paine laughed to herself. "Tomorrow at school…."

"I just like asking you that."

"Why?"

"Cause I hope you know it's just me missing you."

"You ask me that all of the time though."

"I miss you a lot okay?"

"Like right now? In your wet tub?"

"Especially now."

Paine smirked. "So let's hurry up and see each other then."

Rikku laughed. "You're so crazy sometimes, I wish other people knew."

Paine laughed and covered up. "Nah."

"What do you want to do for your birthday, it's Sunday."

"I know, you keep reminding me."

"Because you always forget these things."

"I think I wanna go see Gip early first thing. He's been there every year since I was like five y'know? Wouldn't be right if I didn't see him."

"Okay, would you be totally completely mad if I possibly maybe sorta planned something?" Paine sighed. "Nothing big!"

"What are we doin'?"

"Well originally it was sort of a big plan to throw a surprise party at your place."

"Yevon Almighty."

"But I know how you get all anxious so I threw that out today while talking with Yunie. Instead we're all just going to go for dinner and drinks…"

"That sounds cool."

"You'll have fun."

Paine nodded. "As long as you're there, I'm good."

"I'm gonna get drunk and sing you Happy Birthday off key, get ready." She warned with a chuckle.

"Then we're coming back here and you'll be off key again, but not because of singing."

"Paine Amelia Kerrigan." Rikku gasped.

Paine grinned. "You know I'm just kidding…kinda."

"Mhm."

The two fell quiet for a moment. "He thinks we're too young." Rikku finally broke the comfortable silence to say.

Paine held onto that for a moment before exhaling to let it out with her breath. "Yeah well we're both too young for a lot of things we've already went through."

"I don't feel young or old when we're together…I just feel like me."

"That's all that matters."

Rikku sunk in the tub a little more and smiled at the warmth, it felt like one of Paine's hugs. "Did you take your medication yet?"

Paine nodded over the phone. "Yeah."

"Headaches still?"

"Sometimes, not so much at night though which lets me sleep."

"I know, I thought you were snoring the other night and then I realized it was just me, you know it's bad when you're in that state of like awake but not really."

"You make cute sleeping noises." Paine admitted with a yawn.

"Getting into bed tonight is gonna suck."

"Why? Is it cold?"

"No, you won't be there to snuggle up with."

"Snuggle my pillow."

"Yeah I usually do…" Rikku heard Paine yawn again. "Go to sleep baby."

Paine didn't try to fight it. "Alright."

"No gym tomorrow morning, let's try for at least a full five hours."

Paine yawned again and rolled onto her stomach. "Alright."

"Night Pypo."

"You sure you're okay?"

Rikku nodded. "I'm just gonna soak and then get to bed. Do you want to come over for breakfast? Pop will be gone early so it'd just be you and me."

"Okay, I'll text you when I wake up."

"Okay nighty night Pai."

"Night Rikks, sweet dreams."

##

The next morning Paine surprised Rikku with danish and coffee, and she was actually early so the two found themselves with an extra half hour which they spent cuddling on the couch in the den. Paine had her back against the couch while she was lying down and had her left arm wrapped around the shorter woman she was spooning.

"You don't want to talk about it?" Paine murmured against the shell of Rikku's left ear. She felt bad about not being there while Rikku cried yesterday, hence her promptness this morning. She had a hectic day ahead of her, one that was sure to end at one or two in the morning again; she needed to make sure she made time for these types of moments.

Rikku played with Paine's fingers on the hand that was wrapped around her midsection. "It's not that."

"What is it?"

"It's just I kinda really like what's happening here." She giggled when Paine placed a few kisses on the back of her neck.

"I'm just trying to be comforting."

"Well it's having adverse effects."

Paine smirked and held Rikku a little closer as she dipped her head to the blondes shoulder. "Do you wanna….?" She the question hang in the air as she made sure her hands was playing with Rikku's now instead of the other way around.

Rikku squirmed. Paine was using her naughty voice again and the outcome was always the same when she pulled that out. The blonde always ended up on her back somewhere. "Down Pypo." She grabbed Paine's hand as it began to wonder. She giggled even more when Paine began to whimper like a puppy would when being disciplined. "I won't forget about you, I promise." Paine simply returned her stance to one of comfort once again. She was horny yeah, but she honestly cared more about Rikku than to just brush away her girlfriend's thoughts for a quicky. That's not why she made sure to come over early anyway.

Rikku hugged Paine's arms and sighed contently. She wished she could lay like this all day. Life experience taught her that these moments were soon going to become rare once Paine started working somewhere full time and she started school. "When he came upstairs he was saying sorry and we talked it out…"

"How was that?" Paine asked from her spot behind her girlfriend.

"I mean it was what we needed. He still thinks certain things…"

"About us."

"But we'll just show him otherwise hm? When we're like forty five or something?" Her voice was joking but a little shaky as if being unsure.

"Forty five?" Paine chuckled. "That means you'd be forty four, and I only date girls under thirty so…Ow!" Rikku had just back kicked her.

"Pypo Kerrigan."

Paine held Rikku tightly. "You know I'm only kidding."

"You better be." She pouted. "You always say stuff like that too."

"Because I know it gets to you."

"Well that's not very nice."

Paine placed a few kisses along Rikku's jaw. "I'm sorry."

"And who's to say I want to be with some washed up model anyway."

"Cause I won't be washed up where it counts."

Rikku rolled her eyes but laughed. "You're such a goober."

Paine laughed at the new insult. They had found that joking while things were rough seemed to make the really rough things a bit easier. "What did Leblanc say?"

Rikku chuckled at the memory. "Well she was pretty toasty when Pop and I got downstairs finally. We talked about what school would be like and what to expect…that's when she said she got that tattoo."

"Happy family once again."

"It doesn't feel that way though. I mean we talked and Pops is not going to make me go anywhere I don't want to but he still had to say something about you which I don't like, even if he thought it was advice….and then his response just reminded me about when Brother left home, and that just made me wonder all kinds of things."

"Like what?" Paine asked playing with one of Rikku's bangles on her arm.

"Well I understand he's learning and stuff but it can't always be like this y'know? Sooner or later and I'm just gonna leave too. I was really torn up about disappointing him."

"I know." She remembered Rikku crying on the phone yesterday. "I really don't like to hear you like that."

"I know." Rikku sighed. "It just made me think about all the little recent things."

"What recent things?"

Rikku shrugged, "I don't know. I've just gotten weird feeling that the topic of you and I is one he doesn't like, maybe he realizes that it's not just a phase or…I really just can't put my finger on it. I know he likes you, I mean Pops is not the type of guy to beat around the bush about liking people."

"Maybe he just knows I'm the person who's gonna eventually take you away from him."

Rikku fought real hard to hide her smile. "Maybe."

"Gip says that Al Bhed men have issues like that."

Rikku laughed. "He's right, I've always been daddy's little girl." She turned around in the embrace and studied Paine's face. "You talk to Gippal about this stuff?"

Paine shrugged. "He's my best friend."

"I just didn't know you thought a lot about these things."

Paine nodded. "Every now and then." She lied knowing very well as of recently their future was the one constant thing on her mind.

Rikku smiled. "You gonna take me away from here?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Stop."

"Whaa?" Rikku asked innocently. "I just wanna plan ahead."

"I'll do all of that."

"So I can't know just a little itty bit?"

Paine shook her head no but held Rikku closer. "I'm trying to do the right thing here, you're not making it easy."

Rikku giggled. "Well a girl has to know things."

"You're not getting anything out of me."

"Well you're not getting anything out of me either."

Paine blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I can plan stuff too y'know, I can be sneaky and mysterious."

"No you can't."

"I so can!"

"Shh."

"Don't shush me!"

Paine laughed. "I'm not planning anything so relax."

"Well good." She turned back around to be the little spoon with disappointment in her eyes.

##

"Someone should punch you in the dick."

Gippal laughed whole heartedly. "You're mad, I can understand why, you aren't getting any."

Paine huffed. "Gippal this has nothing to do with if I'm getting any…which I am…if I really wanted to….I can get whatever I want, it's my birthday."

She just wished someone had told Rikku that. She woke up in a more than good mood with intensions of a little fun before she left Rikku's to see Gippal. All she got though was a shoulder to the jaw as Rikku turned away from in her sleep.

"Painey relax okay? Happy fucking birthday. No strip clubs this year, but you still got a show huh?" Gippal nudged his best friend in the arm from his seat beside her.

Paine shook her head at him, it wasn't the first time she walked in on him and some poor victim, but she was hoping, no praying, that it was the last. "You're gonna get kicked out of here if that nurse says anything." Gippal stretched back in his seat, the color had returned to his eyes and face and Paine just couldn't believe what a man whore he was. It was actually a little funny how well he was looking. "Maybe you're addicted to sex, not pills." Paine mused with a chuckle.

Gippal glanced at her with a smirk and the two laughed some more. "Did you see her ass?"

Paine rolled her eyes and pointed at herself. "Girlfriend."

"So you're meaning to tell me you haven't even looked at another boob since you and Cid's girl got together?...and maybe before you found out Lulu was your sister." He teased.

Paine pointed at him. "You're fucking wrong you know that? How was I supposed to know!"

Gippal only continued to laugh. "Answer the damn question!"

Paine crossed her arms and shrugged. "Like once or twice."

"You're lying, I mean c'mon. I know you've changed and stuff but you're still Dr. P."

"Rikku has a nice ass, and it's always around so naturally I'm looking at her and no one else." Paine reasoned.

Gippal nodded thoughtfully. "She's got a hot little body there…"

"Hey." Paine warned.

"Easy up man, I'm just saying."

"So what about your girlfriend, you gonna tell her you're in here healing by banging nurses?"

Gippal scowled and sucked his teeth. "Fuck her, and she sure as hell aint my girlfriend."

"What's wrong with you two now?"

"This bitch—"

"Elma, her name is Elma." Paine eased in. She was trying to help reform him upon his request to get said bitch to like him.

"Whatever." Gippal waved a hand in the air. "She drives me crazy with her bullshit."

"What happened?"

"We're chillin in the room watching some TV thing right? And shit is real relaxed and I'm over here sweating bullets because I haven't screwed it up yet y'know? So then I'm just about to say something sweet like we talked about?"

Paine nodded. "What were you going to say?"

"I was gonna tell her that I liked having her around like that y'know?"

"Aww Gippal."

"Shut up."

Paine laughed. "So what happened?"

"She gets a call from some dude!"

"Hm."

"I flipped out and asked her if she was fucking him."

Paine put a hand to her face. "Yeah probably not the best way to deal with that…"

"Whatever, so we fought like we always do and she just fucking left. I mean I was snuggling with her and she left!"

Paine shook her head. "Gip maybe it was just a friend…Rikku has guy friends…and girl friends…" Paine narrowed her eyes a little at the thought of the open possibilities her girlfriend had if she ever felt compelled. She shook her head out of it though. "It's all about trust."

"So you gonna be cool with her chatting up some guy on the phone while you two are relaxing…late."

"Well….Rikku doesn't do that."

"Yeah but I remember you getting pissed off when some guy asked her to go shopping for art supplies with him."

"Yeah only because he wanted to fuck her in the paintbrush isle." Paine remembered Buddy and got a bad taste in her mouth.

"Well this dude wanted to fuck her in an on-call room, and you know that bitch is always on-call."

The two sat with their thoughts for a moment.

"Well I'm allowed to get like that cause Rikku's my girlfriend and I don't fuck nurses behind her back."

"It wasn't even the same…" Gippal slouched his shoulders and looked at Paine. "Should I tell her?"

Paine shook her head quickly. "Yevon no, unless you really do want your dick to get punched."

Gippal nodded. "I guess I should stop…"

"Yeah." Paine laughed a little. "That's probably a good idea."

Gippal sighed heavily and kicked his feet out. He looked across the open field and sighed again. "Anyway you buy the ring yet?"

Paine exhaled. "No, I'm kicking my own ass every day with this money thing, I feel like I'm never gonna catch up, not to mention shit with her dad and schools and stuff."

"Don't tell me you talked to Cid?"

"No, but I have a feeling I probably shouldn't."

"But you have to."

"Yeah Gip I'm aware." Paine snapped.

Gippal raised a brow. "So what happened?"

"He thinks we're too young or he thinks Rikku likes me because I'm a rebound and probably because I don't have a dick and I can't hurt her like Auron or I'm just keeping her safe till the real guy shows up to sweep her off her feet or whatever I don't know." Paine rubbed at her face. "It's fucking infuriating."

"I can tell." Her whole energy had changed once the topic came up. "What the fuck?"

"I don't know, I think he just realizes that Rikku isn't just going to do what he says anymore, and for one he thinks I'm feeding her this or something. I told you I don't know." Paine was really at a loss, Rikku not really saying anything about it anymore had her worried too. "In my mind, and as far as I can tell in her mind, we're in this for real, like we want to be together, but this whole thing with her picking schools just reveals to us that everyone doesn't think like we do. I mean I like Cid and he says he likes me…so why all of a sudden is this an issue y'know? Like he can't see a low life like me in her future or something? He's whisking her away to a fucking racist society just to get her away from staying with me or… We weren't too young when he gave me condoms."

"He gave you condoms?" Gippal's serious face got giddy for a moment. He leaned closer to her dropping his voice low. "Dr. P you strap it on with a jimmy?"

Paine just looked at him. "No!"

"Alright alright!" He watched as Paine shook her head at the thought. "Look, it sounds to me like dear ol' Pops there is realizing that Rikku is y'know…eventually gonna leave the nest…with you. Maybe he's cool with you here, but what about when ya'll visit Home?"

Paine sighed. "I didn't think about that."

"Well yeah man, and then what about kids and marriage and shit, you do realize that by asking her this everything else is implied."

"I mean I figured as much but to be honest that doesn't scare me." Paine thought about it. "Maybe the kids thing…"

"What does then?"

Paine shrugged. "Look Gip…" She paused and gave him an honest sort of look as if to prepare him for the truth she was about to speak.. "I'm in love with this girl okay? It's not just oh hey I like you let's date, I mean even when we don't touch I'm just happy being around her, like she can be on the phone with Yuna and I'm doing my homework in the same room and I'm just like damn I can do this forever." She looked back at him. "That's what I'm dealing with, and the fact that all that might not be the case is scary. I know she loves me but I know not getting approval from the other people close to her is something she thinks about. Whose fault is that? No ones, she's close to her family, I'm not, not really and I just…it's frustrating. I wanna make her my family, the only way that can happen is if Cid sees me as who I am, not what I did or didn't do to his daughter. It's hard to tell with him, it really is. Even Rikku doesn't know what to expect sometimes."

"Damn." Gippal sat with all that. "You know what you need to do right?"

Paine shook her head. "Please don't say get laid."

Gippal laughed. "Well that too but you need to just drop all that bullshit aside and go for what you're feeling. Apparently this has been going on right? You've been fine being oblivious, and since Cid's girl dropped it maybe you should too. She ain't worried P, and that should tell you all you need to know."

**AN: What do you all think of this turn of events? You figure out what Paine is going to ask Rikku yet? Reviews are what keep me motivated so keep 'em coming!**

**KathleenDee**


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter Fifty Seven**

A giggle, a soft moan, a slapping noise, and then another giggle, it was all that could be heard from the living room where Lai was lying on the ground in Paine's sleeping bag, too drunk to drive home like he had planned, and also too drunk to fall asleep and drown out the sounds of the two other women doing Yevon knew what in the next room.

"Oooh."

"Sh baby Lai's in the..."

"Pypooo."

"Mmm. Yeah?"

"Oay pypo."

"What about here?"

"Uh!"

"I thought that would feel nice."

"It feels nice mm."

"My turn….yeah right th—ow Rikks!"

"Cunno Pypo Cunno."

"Just go slow."

"I'm trying but I'm wet and drunk."

"Use your mouth."

Baralai covered his face.

A soft moan was followed.

"There are only so many places I can put this thing Pypo you're gonna need to help me out here."

"Put it there."

"It won't fit."

"It'll fit."

"Bu…It's too tight."

"Just push it there."

"Right here?" A moan. "Opps."

"You're gonna make a mess."

"I told you I was drunk!…stay still I think I can get it."

Baralai sat up and stared at the closed door when he heard Paine moan softly. He shook his head at himself and looked down at his sleeping bag before scooting as far away from the thin door as he could and curling up with his back to it for good measure.

In the next room Rikku grinned as she tried to gather up all the spilled massage oil from Paine's messy nightstand where it had toppled over due to lack of space. She giggled as Paine squirmed under her on her stomach as she playfully dripped the cold liquid onto her girlfriend's bare back causing the taller woman to moan at the surprising coolness of it.

Finally she got the last bit into her hands and rubbed them together before bringing them to Paine's pale back. "This sounded better when I was sober..." Rikku giggled as she massaged Paine's bare shoulders. "It was supposed to be romantic." She pouted when she realized spilling the majority of the oil onto Paine's floor and bed when she tried to open the container with her teeth was not romantic at all.

Paine only laughed a little as the blonde worked the intoxicating essential oil into her shoulder blade. She winced when Rikku found a knot there and applied pressure. "It is baby."

Rikku smiled a little and leaned down to peck Paine behind the ear before she went back to utilizing all the spilt oil to give her girlfriend a much needed back rub. They were both topless in their panties, Rikku had straddled Paine's bottom and was squeezing her girlfriend's waist with her thighs every now and then to give more meaning to each rub.

Paine had felt like she had died and went to heaven. Albeit a bit clumsy from the booze she drank at dinner Rikku's hands knew exactly where to settle to release the pressure from her shoulders. The room was flooded with the dim light of a candle that sat far away on Paine's dresser and pretty soon their normal tones quieted to bare whispers.

It had turned out to be quite romantic indeed.

Paine had never had a back massage before. Especially one by candle light with fancy oils for her birthday. Rikku's nimble fingers worked firmly yet with that tenderness that had always been there. Paine felt herself melting into the new mattress, openly making little noises of approval when she loosened a knot completely.

Rikku asked her what was going on in her head and Paine had answered full heartedly. That as of right now she was only focused on them, but usually her mind would never let her catch a break. The pills had been helping but not with sleep and her thoughts and she felt tired a lot of the time. Then she asked Rikku if she were happy, which the blonde responded truthfully to as she leaned in to get another knot at Paine's upper back. It seemed she carried the weight of her anxieties in her shoulders and it was crazy how tense that area was.

"Most of the time."

"I want you happy all of the time, I wanna do that." Paine admitted with a sigh. "I can't though if I'm the thing that causes you to be unhappy."

"What are you saying to me right now? You make me the happiest." She slid her hands down to the small of Paine's pale back making sure not to irritate the scarred skin at her left.

"This whole thing with your father and schools has got me stressing out."

"I've noticed." She brought her hands back up Paine's spinal cord and watched Paine flex a little under the sensation. "I'm where I want to be Paine."

"I just can't help but feel like you can do better, I always feel like that though."

Rikku leaned down and slid her hands to Paine's sides as she kissed the back of her neck. "I can't change the way you think, but I can tell you every day that you're the woman I'm meant to be with and mean every word." Paine exhaled steadily as Rikku's hands inched up her sides and snuck in a few small strokes to the sides of her breasts. "Deal with it or leave." Rikku nibbled gently on Paine's left ear lobe before kissing her ear again. Paine exhaled again, feeling Rikku's erect nipples on her back and having her so close just did things to her train of thought, and her whole being for that matter. She finally found what she wanted to say though.

"I'd never leave you."

"So let me love you, stop worrying about Pops, he doesn't count."

"He does though."

"Why?" Rikku furrowed her brows in confusion. Paine fell quiet. She was grateful Rikku took it as something else and started kissing at her neck again as she massaged her back. "It's just you and me." She whispered. "It's always been that way from day one, no one is ever going to change my way of thinking."

"I know." Paine breathed out once Rikku stroked the sides of her breasts again. "I know that shit with me hasn't always been as transparent as it is with you but…trust me I know." It was still nice to have her most restless thoughts put to rest though.

Rikku smiled a little at that. "We're gonna be okay." She knew that's all Paine really ever needed to hear, and in this situation she was right. She could feel her girlfriend relax more under her hands and after a while Rikku heard the soft breathing meaning she had definitely fallen into a peaceful and for once sound, sleep. Rikku leaned down and kissed Paine again on the cheek before un-straddling her and dozing off with the rhythm of Paine's rare light snores.

Rikku woke the next morning to the sound of Baralai and Paine talking in the kitchen. The aroma of fresh coffee filled her nostrils and the thick air that accompanied the morning rainy spring air wafted into the small room from the slightly ajar window. She stretched out her limbs sleepily and smiled at how the area beside her was slightly stained with the massage oil from the night prior. She didn't know why but she began to smile wildly at the thought of last night's events. Dinner with everyone proved to be way more entertaining than she thought possible. Nooj brought along Hope Blossom and Wakka and Lulu were just a riot. Elma sat beside Rikku and the two chit chatted all night per usual when they got together, Lai was making Tidus jealous as he and Yuna joked like good ol' pals, and Paine was just the cutest birthday girl of them all; sitting quietly just watching all her friends get along. Today was a Ronso national holiday so there was no school on this Monday. It was nice little break but it also meant catching up on her acceptance packet from the Mi'ihen Institute and running a bunch of other errands. Rikku slowly got out of bed and wrapped herself in one of Paine's long towels to head into the bathroom to shower.

Baralai and Paine stopped mid conversation and turned to see the last bit of blonde hair enter the bathroom before closing the door. Baralai looked back over at Paine. "Anyway so like I was saying…"

Paine nodded and set her coffee cup down to start up some tea for Rikku. "You guys hung out on Saturday?"

"The bliztball bonfire thing. It was pretty cool."

Paine chuckled. "First Elma now Yuna, you sure do know how to step on toes."

Lai shook his head a bit amused. "She invited me when Rikku said she wasn't going to go, not my fault she doesn't want to be around her own boyfriend."

"They broke up, according to Ri they are just hanging out now." Paine opened her bare fridge to try and look for something for Rikku to eat. She and Baralai had had cereal but Paine knew how "boring" that was to the blonde.

"Brandon Lawrence was there." That got Paine's attention and Lai laughed a little.

"Oh yeah?"

"He asked if Rikku was going to show up."

"Motherfucker." Paine mumbled.

"Told him she was hanging out with her girlfriend."

Paine grinned. "That's why we're friends."

"Not because of my good looks?"

Paine pretended to ponder it. "Close second."

The two laughed and continued talking about what they were going to do with the day off. Some time passed and the bathroom door opened and closed again in the hall, then the bedroom door did the same. Rikku made her grand appearance not too long after clad in long black leggings and Paine's dark blue NLU hoody. Her hair was done up in it's usually up do with some framing her face accompanied by the appropriate colored clips. She was wearing a little lip gloss and light foundation but that was it. "Morning guys." She smiled massively.

"Hey good morning Rikku." Lai blushed when Rikku kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't make that face you get one too." Rikku laughed a little at the look Paine was giving her. She shied up however when Rikku kissed her on the lips lingeringly in front of her friend. "Morning." Rikku rested her hand on Paine's neck.

"Morning." Paine smiled, her cheeks just a bit pink.

"How'd you sleep?" Rikku asked Paine but then glanced at Baralai to include him in on the inquiry. She stepped away from Paine and opened the fridge to pull out her left-overs from the restaurant last night. "I'm gonna eat your chicken."

Paine nodded. "Go ahead." She went back to leaning against the counter with her coffee. "Great." She wasn't lying either, there must have been something in that massage oil but Paine woke up that morning feeling ten hundred percent.

Lai shrugged. "Decent once you two quieted down."

Rikku began to blush; she sent a questioning look at Paine who only shrugged. They hadn't had sex last night, but they were loud? "Oh well, sorry?" Rikku furrowed her brows in a little more confusion.

Baralai shrugged again. "It's okay. I was just telling Paine about checking out the fiend courts today."

Rikku rolled her eyes at him. "Are you the one putting all this into her head?" She came around to lean on the elevated counter that Lai was leaning against with her cold leftovers.

"Baby let me heat that up for you." Paine reached over but Rikku shook her head no.

"I like this sauce cold, you can hand me a fork though."

Paine nodded and went to do just that. Rikku turned back to Baralai. "Paine's impressionable. Like a toddler or something."

"Kinda standing right here." Paine said as she handed her the fork. Rikku waved her off and Lai laughed.

"Well I figured since she just turned twenty two she can make her own decisions."

Paine folded her arms and nodded. "Yeah. and I wanna go."

"Yes but Paine does have a knack for getting injured doing stupid things."

Paine made a face. "What? Are you sure you're not talking about you?"

"The people at the Hospital know you by name."

"It's because I used to work there." She argued. "Accidents happen, but I'm not going to be actually fighting fiends…I'm just going to watch people fight fiends."

"Perfectly safe." Baralai chimed in.

Rikku gave him a look and he remained quiet. "Pypo I know you, today you'll be watching, tomorrow you'll be right in there and I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable with that."

Paine sighed heavily. "Okay but tomorrow is always a day away."

Rikku chuckled. "You do whatever you want okay? As long as I'm not having to race to the hospital…_again_."

Baralai watched the two have a silent conversation with their eyes and Paine turned to get more coffee with grumble. He laughed. "So you coming?"

Paine took her time to turn around. When she did she sent a smug looking Rikku a smile and then looked toward Lai. "What time?"

Lai grinned. "I was going to head over tonight."

Paine frowned and then glanced at Rikku. "I have a thing… text me the dates and I'll definitely come to the next one."

Baralai nodded and finished up his tea. "So I better get going to get home walk Iffy."

"Yeah, you want a ride down the block to the restaurant?" Paine asked already grabbing her keys.

Lai smiled. "Yeah, let me get my shoes."

"I'll be back Rikks."

Rikku nodded and waved the two friends off while chewing on her food. She enjoyed her breakfast in peace and was throwing it away when Paine got back in the door.

"So you wanna start making that list babe?" Paine asked as she slipped out of her sneakers by the door and rifled through her mail while walking toward the small kitchen.

Rikku washed her hands and then reached for the tea she was still working on. "Okay, do you have a pen, I'll write it out."

"In that drawer there." Paine motioned to a drawer as she pulled her coffee cup close to her and began to open a letter from the hospital probably telling her that she owed them all sorts of money. She sighed to herself when she realized she was right.

"Okay." Rikku leaned on the counter across from Paine. "Pai."

Paine looked up from reading and nodded to show she was paying attention.

"Dry cleaners, filling out the MHI acceptance packet for summer classes."

"You decided to do summer?"

Rikku nodded. "Might as well while I got all this momentum from school right?" Paine nodded. "What else what else… oh! We need to go to the mall."

Paine groaned. "For what?"

"Uncle B's birthday is coming up and I thought it be nice if we got him something from the two of us."

"And?"

"And I need to see the semiannual sale at that one place."

"Which one place?"

"A store."

"Which one?"

"Fiona's Secret." Paine began to grin. "Not for you!"

She huffed. "Maybe I need something from there too, I don't know why you just assume these things about me."

Rikku laughed. "I don't assume anything about you. Paine Kerrigan."

Paine shrugged with a tight lipped smile. "So after we pick up some thongs what else?"

"I don't need thongs from there."

"Crotchless panties?"

Rikku giggled at the seriousness in the other woman. "Ugh you are just….grrr."

"Leopard print crotchless panties, got it." Paine nodded and motioned to the list. "Put it on the list."

Rikku shook her head. "Unless you want to buy me a pair—"

"Done."

Rikku laughed.

After finishing making their list the two set off in Paine's car to head to the dry cleaners to pick some things up that Rikku dropped off earlier last week. The day was beautiful, and Paine was learning that she was close enough to the sea now to get that cool sea air that promised of a fantastic summer. Rikku was on the phone with Yuna about something or the other and Paine was in her own thoughts. Mainly ones about last night and her and Rikku sharing that intimate moment with massage oils. It was probably the most intimate thing she had ever done in her life and that included her first time with Rikku. Last night was just about them getting back on that proverbial same page.

_Last night would have been perfect too…_

Paine thought. She was missing opportunity after opportunity to ask Rikku what she needed to ask her and it really sucked. Granted the blonde was a little drunk, she was sure the mood wouldn't have been lost by that. Hell she herself had almost asked without the ring, but that would have just been half assed. Paine glanced at the woman beside her.

"—Ewww Yunie that's disgusting!" The blonde burst out laughing and Paine couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she was. "...Well I know I wasn't going to go anyway…oh you and Lai? Uhuh….well how did he take it? he was jealous…ohh Yunie don't say that….uhuh…uhuh…"

Paine focused back on the road and it was a good thing she did because she almost missed the turn in for the dry cleaners that Rikku's family used. "Alright get out of my car." Paine joked as she pulled into a parking spot and waited.

"Yunie let me text you or something…bye." Rikku hung up and searched her purse for her laundry ticket. "Pypo come with me? I put a lot of things to clean and it might be heavy."

Paine nodded and put the car in park and got out with her. "It's nice out huh?" Paine nodded looking about the sky as she reached to hold the door open for Rikku.

"It is, too bad we're running errands."

"Not seventy six yet." Paine noted as they entered the small front desk area of Fang Dry Cleaning. The place was torn down to the bearings in design and it seemed each and every piece of wall was covered in outstanding dry cleaning orders waiting for their owners to pick them up. It smelt of dryer sheets and aluminum to Paine. A ronso man came to the desk and smiled at the familiar face.

"Youngster Bayla." He greeted.

Rikku smiled charmingly. "Mr. Ronso, happy Neolan Day!"

"You remembered?"

"Well I don't have school today. I figured I'd take the time to know why."

The ronso laughed and reached for the dry cleaning ticket from Rikku's hands. "Let me get this so you can enjoy your day."

"Don't rush, you have to enjoy yours too." Rikku turned to face Paine who had her back toward the entrance. "I know, I've got Yunie on watch for the temperature, I don't care if it's during graduation, we're going to the beach."

Paine chuckled. "Maybe after."

Rikku sighed. "You and your morals."

"Did I tell you that Keira called to wish me a happy birthday yesterday?"

Rikku's face brightened. "Aww no way, she didn't get you?"

"Went to voicemail."

"That's so sweet you have to play it for me."

Paine nodded. "Thinking 'bout inviting her to graduation…"

"So that'd be Joyce, big Mack, Gip and Keira, yeah you'd use all your tickets then." Gippal was supposed to get out of rehab the day before graduation for them. Supposed to. "You should invite her, that'd be really sweet. I mean seeing as how lunch went well for you two. Say did you hear back from that job yet?"

Paine frowned but then hid it quickly. "No not really."

Rikku touched Paine's arm. "Oh it's okay, you do have that show coming up right?"

"Yeah, should be fine I mean I just need to keep looking…"

"Why don't you just become a full time model?" Paine rolled her eyes. "I mean it, you can work whenever you wanted basically."

"Well then what did I get a degree for?"

"I'm not saying forever, I'm just saying so that it would give you room to do what you really want to do; personal training." Paine appeared to be thoughtful. "Think about it."

"_Or_ I can think about you in whatever we get from Fiona's Secret…." Paine raised an eyebrow suggestively and Rikku laughed. The laughter escaped her lips though just as quick as it came as if she were muted. Rikku slowly closed her mouth and then locked eyes with Paine.

The cowbell rang signaling that another patron was entering the shop.

Paine knew that look Rikku was giving her and turned around quickly.

Make that two patrons.

"— It's just a little wine Braska."

"A little wine that all of my clients see, look this place is great they'll get it out before—Rikku Milan, what a surprise." He smiled widely and was about to hug his niece when he noticed she wasn't alone, his elation remained for a moment before realization hit. "Ladies.' He smiled uneasily and then glanced at Paul was wearing this forced sort of look. It was hard to describe.

"Uncle B." Rikku smiled, still glad to see her uncle all in the same, but then again the situation didn't give them much time to catch up. Rikku turned to her girlfriend and nudged her lightly. "Paine say hi to your lawyer."

"You're her legal counsel?" Paul asked in surprise. "You didn't tell me?"

"Why would he?" Paine spoke up. "There is no connection between us."

"Except that I am your father." Paul reminded.

"Who didn't do jack shit."

"Alrighty." Rikku grabbed a hold of her girlfriend's tensed arms. "Pypo maybe we can come back?" Rikku darted a look at her Uncle.

"I'm not fucking going anywhere." Paine growled.

"Paul maybe we should leave then." Braska cut in. He pushed at his friend's shoulder. "A little wine won't hurt our company image that badly and there is no sense in exacerbating a situation."

Paul sighed. "Look everyone makes mistakes okay? I just need a chance to fix it and I can prro—"

Paine wasn't hearing any of it. "You had time!"

"Did I really though Paine Amelia? Do you think for a second that you would have somehow been understanding if I approached you back then when you were younger?"

"You know nothing about me."

"I know you used to be a drug addict." Paul cut without meaning to. Braska shook his head, Paine narrowed her eyes. "I know you used to go to J. P. Dunkin middle school. I know that you lived in several homes, I know you were hurt."

"Anyone." Paine said in an edgy tone that made Rikku nervous. "Anyone at all, could find all of that out about if they wanted to, if they, had the time to because the rest of the world doesn't want to deal with their bullshit lies. Own up to the fact that you just weren't man enough to take care of your responsibilities. Is it that hard?" Her stance was a flick away from her fighting one and she could no longer feel the cool skin of Rikku's hand that was wrapped around her forearm even though it was still there. The tension in the room was as thick as pudding, and the energy Paine was giving off was of pure frustration and anger. Rikku didn't like standing so close to her when she was like this, it felt she too was going to soon be consumed, but there she stood, ready to be a part of the flame solely because she knew in the end that she could be the only one able to pull Paine out. Paine exhaled audible and for a second there Rikku saw a flash of hurt, she doubted the other two men had noticed it, but she was as sure as her name was Rikku that Paine was feeling something other than anger. "I don't owe you a motherfucking thing. So stop pretending that you wanted me just because your wife won't suck your dick and your daughter doesn't respect you as much as you think you deserve. It's fucking annoying and I'm done with it." Paine's tone was all business as she glared at the man with almost identical hued eyes. She shook her head when he was about to speak. "I'm not going to help you clean up your mess."

"Uh…Youngster Bayla?"

Both Rikku and Paine turned just then and Rikku thanked the ronso quietly as Paine took the dry cleaning away from him to hold for Rikku. Paine exhaled again and looked over at her girlfriend with this look of pure trust and request. Rikku knew exactly what she needed with that one look. The blonde nodded and led the way passed Mr. Moore and out of the shop using her body in as shield like fashion as they left the store. She sent her Uncle a look and he nodded back before helping Paine put the clothes covered in plastic into the small backseat of her car.

Braska exhaled and looked back over at his friend. "I'm only going to say this once, as her legal counsel I'm counting that as an official request of privacy…"

##

"I'll see you soon okay? Don't eat too many cookies, we're cooking with Yunie tonight remember?" Rikku was reluctant to let go of Paine's hand. She didn't know why but she just was. After the altercation at the dry cleaners they had tied to go about their day as planned, but the ease was stolen from the air and Paine had been a little on edge, understandably so.

The dark haired girl nodded. "I'll see you when I come out."

Rikku clasped her hand with Paine's and then tip toed to kiss her on the cheek. "Okay."

They separated and Paine tried to give her girlfriend a reassuring nod before they disappeared down opposite halls of the youth center. Paine found herself once again sitting overly dressed in the room of familiar strangers. The one women that usually sat beside Paine gave her a reassuring smile, she was missing teeth. Paine didn't do anything back; she just sat there waiting for the session to begin and to be over with.

Paine hadn't realized she had drowned out everything until someone was calling her name. "Paine?" She looked up at the kindly faced elder who usually proctored the group. "How about you tell us about your weekend. It seems everyone is just a bit shy today. Did you have any struggles?"

Paine stretched out her legs. "Um…" She was fairly certain these people had never heard her voice, that's why she wasn't surprised to see the peaking of interest and the wonder at just how pitched it could be when caught off guard. She cleared her throat. "I wanted to use on Sunday… it was my birthday."

The elder nodded. "What happened?"

"I do—" She stopped herself from telling him to mind his own fucking business, he was an elder after all and though her upbringing could be called into question for a lot of things, respecting ones elders was never one of them. Paine fidgeted in her seat a moment. Being the center of attention would never sit right with her. "Well I was…my girlfriend almost got raped a year ago today, so I was thinking about that and…what another year meant for me. I've always felt I've been buying time after I…overdosed." The proctor nodded in understanding. "Money has always been an issue. I guess it all went away when I went to dinner with my friends. I didn't feel so…" Paine made a hand gesture. "So needy?" A few people in the group nodded silently.

"What about today?"

"I….I don't know."

"What happened today?"

Paine sighed. "I didn't want to use, but I did feel anger, which is something that…eventually makes me feel out of control of things…and then that makes me want to use. I'm on this medication though which has been kind of buffering things but…it still something I think about."

"You seem to have a good understanding on what you are going through."

Paine shrugged.

##

Rikku didn't know how to proceed. It was clear with the way that Paine was holding her that she didn't know either, well at least Paine knew what she wanted though, the hand holding onto her hip and upper thigh made it clear.

Paine exhaled quietly and nipped at the back of Rikku's neck gently. "You awake?" She asked into the blondes ear just below a whisper.

Rikku nodded but didn't say anything. She felt Paine hug her closer so there was no space between them. "Do you want to talk about today?" Rikku asked quietly when Paine shifted.

"No," Paine whispered before nestling her nose against the base of Rikku's neck. "I'm okay babe, the meeting helped. This helps." She said as she pulled the hand from Rikku's hip and then hugged her midsection.

She had finally fully embraced The Rikku Bayla method of using snuggling as a preventative measure against stress and anxiety.

"Mine was…" She trialed off with the feel of soft lips on her jaw. Paine slowly moved her lips up to Rikku's left ear and then stopped.

"Was?"

"It was interesting, I didn't share today."

"I did."

Rikku turned on her back to look up at Paine in surprise. "You did?" She broke their trend of whispering and Paine nodded as she adjusted to the new position. "What did you talk about?"

"Drugs, what else would I talk about?"

Rikku shrugged. "Me?"

Paine nodded slowly watching how Rikku's eyes tried to search hers. "Last year was…"

"I know." Rikku cut her off.

"I've been worrying about you, how you're doing." Paine paused. "How are you doing?"

"One of the ladies was talking about rape today…" Paine began to frown. "Of all days right? I … I guess it just made me…" Rikku tore her eyes away from Paine for the first time since hearing that she had shared at their meetings. "It made me feel scared…"

Paine put her left arm around Rikku's body. "You're safe here."

Rikku nodded signaling that she knew she was. "and…it made me feel…grateful at the same time…that I've had people supporting me. You and my brother and Yunie, you guys are just…amazing." She sniffled once but then caught herself. "She was raped five years ago, by her husband no less and she still…she still struggles." Rikku shook her head. "I'm real lucky y'know?"

Paine tucked some blonde hair behind her love's little ears. "Yeah, you are."

"The one person that pledged to love her forever y'know did this thing….I've been naïve to think that everyone has a you stashed somewhere." Paine smiled gently and Rikku's eyes softened. "I love you, Paine."

"I love you too, more than I can say."

They shared loving gazes before Paine leaned down and pecked her lips softly. Rikku cupped her face and just looked at her for a moment. "A whole year." Paine nodded not believing it either. Rikku sighed. "I'm going to paint her something."

"Who?"

"The lady at group, right after I moved back in here.. I painted a lot, sometimes it just helped to sit down and look at something and use all my energy to figure out what I was thinking back whenever I painted it, how I felt, where I was in life. Do you think that'd be okay? Are there rules on gift giving or something?"

Paine only smiled. "I'm sure that'd be okay."

Rikku nodded and wondered off into her own thoughts for a moment. Paine laid back down at her side and kissed her cheek before wrapping her arm around her tummy. Rikku glanced at her and hugged her arm closer to her body. "Why did you keep talking to me after you found out about Auron and I?" It was something she was always curious about. Paine had had plenty of time to just ignore her and go on about her life before the Auron incident happened.

Paine hummed lightly in thought. "You were different and you… drew me in, even when I tried to ignore you my brain wouldn't let me, and you seemed like you needed a friend…and you' re pretty." Paine shrugged and looked to Rikku to see if that would suffice as an answer. It was the honest to Yevon truth. Paine would admit to wondering the same thing in the very beginning. Rikku's thing with Auron made her all kinds of jealous and eventually led to her failing her first and only college level class. From anyone else's stand point the blonde was nothing but trouble. Paine never really read into any of that because somehow she knew there was more to her and that's what she found herself attracted to.

"You were a good friend to me…" Rikku remembered.

"Better girlfriend?"

Rikku smiled and just nodded. She rested a hand on Paine's to stop her movement and locked eyes with Paine and the two leaned in for a series of loving pecks and whispered words of sentiment before their kissing turned into an emotionally charged make out session. Rikku licked at Paine's bottom lip mid kiss and the taller woman immediately granted her access. The more Rikku's tongue roamed the more she thirsted to be touched and her actions began to walk the line of lustful and frantic. This just turned Paine more and more until she found herself slowly rubbing her body against Rikku's like some kind of horny teenager. They finally broke their kiss and looked at one another, it was then that everything softened along with their gazes. Paine leaned down and kissed Rikku on the nose which made the blonde giggle and hold her face.

"You have the prettiest eyes." She found herself saying as she stared up at the warm rouge orbs.

Paine just stared down into the swirly green eyes that both challenged the moon and the sun in brightness and beauty. She noted with a small sense of pride that the darker areas had gone emerald, but the lighter segments had brightened happily.

_Ask her now….Ask her now!_

Paine shook her head mentally at herself and settled for a short but meaningful kiss. She brushed some of Rikku's honey blonde hair out of her face again and just waited for the emotions to thin out just a little, she was overwhelmed. "….You're" She fought for the right word. "The prettiest girl I have ever seen."

Rikku giggled at how innocent that statement seemed coming from the woman who was groping her only a minute ago. Paine was so cute when she was shy. Rikku smiled at her to ease the slightly embarrassed look on her face. They shared another small kiss. "We're a bunch of saps. Are you cool with that?"

Paine nodded and hesitated longer than she thought she would with what she was about to say next. "I wanna touch you." She had said it before sure, but there was such a weight to those four words that for a moment there Paine considered taking it back. Was that too serious? Did it sound too bold, too lame, too un-romantic? Paine searched Rikku's eyes carefully for any signs that there was something wrong with what she just said.

"I want you to." Rikku whispered back as she snaked her hands up Paine's arms.

Paine sighed with relief. "Good good…but I want you to …I mean I know you have class early tomorrow but I just really…I'm not—"

Rikku found this new bout of nervousness to be adorable on the older woman. She didn't know what was up with her tonight. She pressed a finger against Paine's lips. "Ssshhh."

"I'm just gonna kiss you now," Paine resigned somewhat defeated which made Rikku laugh more than she thought she would. "No laughing." She pouted.

"Aww, c'mere." Rikku wrapped her arms better around Paine's neck and shoulder and pulled her closer. The shyness was soon gone and Rikku had little time to wonder what had happened as Paine disappeared under the blanket.

##

Paine lay awake in bed completely naked under the sheets as Rikku snored quietly beside her in what seemed to be a peaceful slumber. It was cute how she would tangle herself in the blanket leaving whole limbs exposed to the elements no matter how many times Paine tried to cover her properly. It was late and she had fallen asleep mere seconds after cumming, a fact that made Paine a little proud for no reason. They both had had long days, and even after her moment of divine release Paine felt tired yeah, but her mind never really let her escape.

For one it gave her time to think while having the comfort of Rikku there, which was nice. Sleeping alone in her apartment still hadn't really felt right. She was glad Rikku was taking a liking to it though, Paine rather be here than at her house, and she sensed Rikku felt the same way. Maybe it had to do with the time of the year and what it reminded her of, or maybe it had to do with her father and their see-saw relationship. Paine didn't know for sure but it felt like a mixture of the two.

She turned over restlessly.

Paine realized she needed better self control, and about two hundred more dollars. Being alone with Rikku was like being drunk and alone with Rikku. All her thoughts and feelings eventually just spilled onto the table without any real regard for anything. That's the only way she could describe what had happened tonight. She had almost asked Rikku at least ten times before they made love.

To stop herself from reliving the encounter with her father earlier that day Paine tried to focus on devising a plan of action. Should she make a big show of it, or do something more private? What was she going to say to Cid? Would Rikku take this seriously because she wasn't Al Bhed? There was a thought… Paine raked through the potential outcomes and circumstances that would cause her to fail miserably and ruin a moment they would remember forever. She was so gone in thought that by the time she turned on her side the light coming from her windows was deep and blue the way the morning darkness usually is.

About an hour later her alarm clock went off for school. Paine waited for a moment with her eyes tightly closed trying to drown out the sound and reverse time. Beside her Rikku shifted, stole some more cover, and mumbled something in Al Bhed about turning off the alarm. Paine reached an arm out and turned off the alarm clock with a sigh and sat up. She looked down at Rikku and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. Rikku mumbled her name sweetly but remained still. She could feel Paine's weight on the bed disappeared and soon hear her lover's quiet steps pad across the wooden floor in the hall, the shower turned on.

##

"I haven't heard from you in weeks." Keira answered the call from her daughter about two weeks after leaving her nervous voicemail saying happy birthday. She had bought a card, but she doubted Paine wanted it now.

"I've been busy."

Keira nodded, her tone wasn't irritated or anything of that sort, it was simple and a little tired as if she really had been swamped. She looked down at the sheet music in front of her. "I as well."

"I had the show yesterday."

"I couldn't have made it if I knew."

"It wasn't as big as the last one." Paine scratched the back of her head. "I got your message, thanks."

"What did you get up to?"

"Dinner and drinks."

"Sounds simple enough."

"I like simple."

"Have you heard back from the health center?"

"…I didn't get the job."

Keira frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"I have another interview but I don't think I'll go."

"How will you pay the bills then?"

"I have another couple of shows coming up…" Paine thought for a moment. "Keira?"

"Yes?"

Lai had been no help, Gippal was still in rehab, Elma was always busy, Nooj was off being Nooj, and she sure as hell couldn't ask Yuna or Tidus. This money was burning a hole in her pocket and it made her nervous to carry so much around. "What do you know about rings?"

##

Rikku furrowed her brows and motioned to the screen with upset. "Yunie all these classes are at night!"

Yuna rested her cup of tea down on her nightstand and climbed onto her bed to lie on her stomach in the same fashion as Rikku. She leaned on Rikku a bit to get a better look at the laptop screen. "It appears so… What about this one?"

"At six thirty in the morning? Do you know for the last four years my earliest class has been at nine?"

Yuna chuckled. "Well you're the one who wants a master's degree."

"Yeah well…I'm not so sure anymore." Rikku joked as she went back to choosing her classes. She would only have three during the summer; it would put a nice dent in her plan of study for the coming term and would also give her enough time to enjoy at least a few days this summer. She smiled at the thought of summer days upon them. Yesterday it had finally hit seventy six degrees and it was a bit hilarious to see everyone rush to the beach clad in whatever they were doing a few moments before. Wakka was for some reason wearing corduroys and a blazer, Tidus in a lab coat from school, and Yuna in her usual yoga get up. They couldn't stay all day but it was a lot of fun to finally go against Wakka in some friendly land blitzball. She remembered with a fond smile how Paine glared at Tidus for accidently spiking the ball and hitting her in the head. She was excited for graduation though, and she was even more excited for beginning classes that actually interested her.

"So Uncle Cid was over the other day." Yuna announced as she hopped back to her feet to continue search for just the right fabric to go on the tips of some little socks she was making for Vidina.

Rikku popped her head up and watched her cousin for a moment. "With Uncle B?"

Yuna nodded. "They talked business for a little bit in the study and then talked about us…they talk about us a lot I realized."

"Well we are their daughters."

Yuna nodded. "I know, it was just that they were down there for a while."

"Could you hear what they were saying?"

"You and school, me and Tidus. You and Paine, Paine and Paul…"

Rikku just rolled her eyes. "I've been avoiding Pop."

"Is that why you slept over here last night?"

Rikku shrugged. "And we haven't done that in a while."

Yuna nodded in agreement. "Why are you avoiding Uncle Cid?"

Rikku brought her full attention to Yuna and sighed. "After the whole talk thing we were okay, we hung with Leblanc, remember I was saying that?"

"Mhm."

"Well then later I just got to thinking about and I've decided that even though he apologized for overreacting he still stood by his views, ones that I disagree with."

"This is about Paine."

Rikku half nodded half shrugged. "Yunie I just don't understand it."

Yuna took a seat on the edge of her bed and adjusted the shawl she was wearing on her shoulders. "I think if she were a man it'd be different, but not by much. You have to give him credit for rolling with everything fairly smoothly. I mean he said he liked Paine."

"That's not the problem; the issue is that he more or less doesn't take us as seriously as we do. It makes a lot of sense now why he gets this stupid confused look when I go out of my way to do things for her. I don't know what he thinks we're doing! Holding hands in the dark or something?"

Yuna laughed a little. "Rikku I think Uncle Cid understands you feel strongly for her, but he's still your father." Yuna shrugged a little. "Maybe it's not that he doesn't see you're serious, but he notices you are and is afraid of losing you like he lost Kirill."

"Brother can never keep a girlfriend."

Yuna laughed. "Rikku."

"Alright alright, but I mean, how does that make me feel? Why doesn't he just come out and say that instead of being a meanie?"

Yuna shook her head and looked elsewhere. "Sometimes it's just hard to say things to the ones you love…"

##

"I mean these are the ones I can afford." Paine motioned to the small group of bands. "Most of them look like crap….I really liked this one here though…"

Keira nodded leaning over the viewing case as well. "So explain this to me again."

Paine motioned for the Guado jeweler that she wanted to look at the particular ring. "It's a courtship ring, traditionally this is the way Al Bhed's used to do things, and most traditional families still do it. Rikku still has her grandmother's ring." Paine held the ring in her hand and frowned as it was a little heavy, Rikku wouldn't be able to wear it if it were so heavy. "It's like a…" She handed the band back and shook her head no. "It's like a pre-engagement ring, but it's taken very seriously. Maybe more so than the engagement one. Like…me giving this to her let's her know that I'm ready to put in the work, engagement rings are too flashy and too much of a statement, this is more of a private thing between the two people." Paine shrugged indifferently. "I mean, that's what I read at least…"

Keira nodded. "That's quite fascinating." She followed Paine to another display. "And you are ready for that?" Paine just nodded. "How long have you been together?"

"Almost a year." The week after graduation was their eleven month.

"So you two were friends for a while then."

Paine paused and glanced at her. "No, I only met Rikku last spring."

Keira remained quiet before smiling a little. "Are you nervous?" The response she got for some reason reminded Keira over her older sister. Paine sighed and did this cute little indecisive shrug. "I think she'll say yes."

"We're totally breaking up if she doesn't; these rings are way over my budget." Paine joked seriously.

It took Keira a minute to realize it was a joke. She shook her head at herself and motioned to an engagement ring. "Are you only looking at bands?"

Paine nodded. "From all the stuff I looked up and from what Gippal and some other Al Bhed people say it's supposed to be a band."

"Do you know her ring size?"

Paine paused. "Small?" Keira raised an eyebrow. "Extra small?"

Keira chuckled. "Alright, let's keep looking." She had seen Rikku and Paine together mostly in the awful photos that she had Cameron take way earlier in the year and it never really crossed her mind that they might be quite serious. Then again she wasn't really thinking about that. She was thinking about having found her daughter than anything else. It sort of touched her that Paine was making an effort into their relationship and invited her to be a part of something so important. She watched Paine take her time looking at each ring individually; it was obvious the Guado jeweler was getting a little annoyed at having to take out just about all his rings. Paine was wearing some raggy jeans and her leather jacket, Keira wasn't dressed any better having just come from the Theatre after an all nighter. It probably looked like they weren't going to spend much.

Paine glanced at Keira. "I don't know a lot about this kind of stuff, that's why I invited you." She thought to explain. "All my other friends either know Rikku and can't keep a secret or are guys and still think wearing two different patterns on one outfit is okay." Paine shook her head at Tidus and his inability to dress himself.

"I'm honored." Keira smiled.

Paine shook her head at the selection. "This place is bullshit, let's go somewhere else."

Keira almost wanted to laugh at the look on the Guado jewelers face when Paine said that right in front of him. His expression was completely missed by the younger Kerrigan as she turned to leave.

##

"Do you want my melon?" Paine asked a she took a seat across from Rikku outside in the quad the next day at school. The air was breezy and warm. It was the perfect spring afternoon and Paine was happy to be getting out of class early enough to have lunch with her girlfriend.

Rikku looked up from her cold fusion salad with noodles and peas. "Pai! Hi pypo." She put her chop sticks down and reached for a napkin. "I started eating without you, you just missed Yunie."

Paine carefully shrugged her messenger bag off of her shoulder and opened the styrofoam lid to her roast beef sandwich and french fries from the mini bistro in the student union. She picked the small craved piece of cantaloupe from her container and put it on the side of Rikku's. "It's okay."

Rikku took a bite of the melon. "You want some of this?" She gathered some of the cold noodles up. "It's really refreshing."

"I just—" Paine motioned to her tray but then had to laugh a little and lean forward to accept the food by chopstick.

"It's good?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah it actually is, here." She pulled Rikku's container over playfully. "We'll switch."

"Eh eh eh, not so fast." She pulled her container back. "You have your own lunch."

"Hm."

They sat there making small talk about things that would seem important to most, but just barely touched the surface with them. Rikku was talking about how she was almost done with the painting she was making for the one woman in her group. Paine had hardly had a breakfast so she was trying to eat but pay attention at the same time, a task which proved to be quite the chore once Rikku started asking her opinion on things.

"Babe I don't know." Rikku seemed disappointed. "You can ask me about math or science or Judo, but I have no fucking clue what pastels got together, sorry."

"I mean I just want this to be perfect… Maybe I should go visit professor Novak." Rikku went into her backpack to make a note in her pink planner. Paine went back to eating. "So anyway, I was thinking about what we talked about this weekend."

Paine put the last bit of her sandwich down and reached for a fry. "We talked about a lot of things this weekend."

"Well I just mean about Pops…and Mr. Moore…and all that heavy stuff." She noticed the somewhat apprehensive look Paine was giving her, "I just wanted to see where your head was since Teedus is having another party at his place this weekend."

"Why is he having a party?" She picked her sandwich back up and tried to collect the bits of roast beef before they fell out the back end.

Rikku shrugged. "Maybe to get Yunie to come over, who knows but his Halloween Party was pretty awesome. You didn't go to that one remember?"

Paine reached for her water. "Yeah."

"So do you want to go? I mean we have like what? Four more weeks left, three if you don't count finals week."

Paine shrugged. "Are you asking me to come with you? Or have you already made up your mind like the bonfire?"

Rikku watched her for a moment. "You mean the one last weekend?"

"Yeah, you were invited and didn't go. Lai told me."

"Alright well did Lai also tell you that Buddy invited me?"

Paine shrugged, "He mentioned that he was there." She paused. "What's he even doing talking to you?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Paine."

"Well can I ask?"

"No because you get like this. It's annoying."

Paine shook her head. "I'm just saying that he shouldn't be talking to you."

"I can talk to whoever I want."

"Whatever fine, but _he_ can't talk to _you_."

"You are so ridiculous sometimes. Just answer the question. Are you okay to go to the party this weekend or not? Yes, no, it's simple."

Paine would have crossed her arms if she still didn't have a hold of her sandwich. She knew Rikku loved her, but sometimes the fact that she was willing to speak to him after New Year's made her call a lot of things into question. She called it being territorial, Paine didn't agree. It was being protective of a person that just happens to be in her close vicinity all the time…her territory if you will. "Are you going?"

"I would like to go with my girlfriend, yeah."

Paine sighed heavily and made an effort to pull herself out of her current way of thinking. She could see it was really bothering Rikku. She'd banish it if she could but Paine couldn't help the way she thought about Buddy, or any other guy girl or person who wanted to pursue her girlfriend."What day is it?"

"Saturday Night."

Paine simply nodded before going back to eating the rest of her sandwich.

Satisfied with her results Rikku began to smile. "Leave the attitude at home." Paine just huffed but stopped eating and looked up at Rikku when she could feel the blonde scoot closer to her.

"What?"

She had that look on her face like she was up to something. "Nothing." Paine went back to eating but kept an eye on Rikku at the same time. The blonde just sat close, waiting for Paine to finish eating it seemed. When she noticed this Paine decided she was done and reached for one of Rikku's napkins.

"What?" She asked again.

"Nothing!"

"Why are you looking at me like that then?"

Rikku shrugged. "You look extra pretty today."

Paine looked to her usual get up. "I don't believe you."

"Well is it my fault you have self image issues? No, I was just looking at you." Rikku shook her head with a little laugh.

Paine rose from her seat then to throw out her trash. "Whatever you are up to? No."

"What do you mean?"

"You have that look on your face like you are up to something and you want my approval" Rikku pointed to her face. "Yes that look."

"Well now that you mention it…"

"See!" Paine reached to pick up her messenger bag.

"Wait, where are you going?" Rikku asked quickly. Was it one thirty already?" She had just started to have some fun.

"I have to pee…." She watched as Rikku gathered her things. "I'll be right back you don't need to come with me." She never understood why most women did that.

"Well leave your bag here I'll watch it." Rikku said putting her planner back down on the table.

"Uh…" Paine paused. The ring was in her bag. "Just wait right here."

"You know I have abandonment issues." Rikku joked.

Paine carefully put her bag down and brushed off her hesitance by touching Rikku on the shoulder. "I'll be right back."

She had never used the bathroom so fast in her life. That still didn't stop a certain person from taking the opportunity to notice Rikku alone and strike up a conversation with her.

Rikku sighed. "I don't think I own you an explanation."

Buddy sighed and took a seat at the small table meant for two or three. "Look, I think we started off on the right foot, then got on the wrong foot."

Rikku made a face. "Who says things like that?"

He shrugged. "Over the break I was an ass, and I've been feeling so bad about it. You're all I can think about though and I want to make it right."

Rikku sighed heavily. "Buddy you cannot think about me okay?"

"Just let me apologize correctly and I'll try my hardest not too. I really do feel bad…" He paused not knowing if should go where he was about to go. "I heard what happened…"

Rikku looked up at him then.

"…With Professor Gaurrd."

Rikku shook her head not knowing if she could talk about this with him. He wasn't exactly a stranger, but this was so personal. "I don't want to talk about that."

"So it's true…" They sat in silence for a moment. "You two were married?"

Rikku snapped her head up and squinted at him. "What!?"

Buddy shrugged. "I mean that's what they say at least…" Her paused for a moment. "Then again they say that you and Yuna hooked up at one point too."

"She's my cousin! We're like sisters!"

Buddy put his hands up in defense. "That's just what they say!"

"Go away." Rikku shook her head not really believing what she was hearing.

"Does this mean you accept my apology?"

Rikku gave him a look. "Fryd tu oui drehg?"

Buddy sagged his shoulders. "I just—"

"Oui bnupypmo tuh'd ajah ghuf fryd oui yna cyoehk cunno vun!"

"I mean…How can I if you don't tell me what I did wrong!? E rik oui yht oui vnayg uid, oui kenmvneaht fyhdc du gemm sa huf...E tuh'd ghuf fryd E tet!"

On some level he was right. If he were running on the rumor mill alone he probably thought so many things. Rikku just shook her head tiredly as he continued to try and fight his case. Finally she just couldn't hear it anymore. "I had sex with him!"

Buddy clamped his mouth shut and just stared at her in surprise. "So…you're not all the way gay then?"

Rikku began to collect her things quickly. She didn't know why that was the comment that pushed her but it was and it did. "Luhcetan ouin ybumuko yllabdat huf mayja sa dra vilg ymuha."

Buddy slapped himself mentally, he stood when Rikku stood. "Wait I'm sorry can we just—"

"I believe she told you to fuck off." Paine growled, she glanced at Rikku who didn't even bother saying goodbye to her, she just stormed off. Paine would handle that later, right now she had to deal with this idiot. This was his third and last chance. "Are you fucking stupid or something?"

Buddy sighed. "Look—"

Paine shook her head. "I told you not to speak to her, one because she's mine, and will always be, and two because it seems that every time you open your mouth to say something to her you end up either making her cry or pissing her off."

Buddy hiked his bag onto his shoulder and started to walk in the same direction Rikku stormed off to. To Paine this was an even bigger sign of disrespect. You couldn't just do that where she was from! You'd get shot! Buddy was surprised to feel Paine's hand on his chest pushing him back. "Turn the fuck around and go the other way."

"Don't put your hands on me."

"This is not me putting my hands on you, trust me."

Buddy rolled his eyes. "I just want to say sorry."

"You said sorry."

He wasn't used to being told what to do, especially not by a woman that wasn't his mother. "Who are you her fucking keeper? She's a grown adult, I understand I threaten you—"

"You don't threaten me at all." She'd seen her fair share of threatening things in her life and some preppy Al Bhed kid from the upper west side of the city was not one of them. Little by little she could feel herself regress and she knew from experience when that happened it was never a good outcome.

Why couldn't he just leave Rikku alone?

"So then why—"

"She's my fucking girlfriend! It's kind of my job to take care of idiots like you who don't understand that when she says no, or go the fuck away she really means it. Now back the fuck off." Paine pushed him lighting in the chest just to piss him off.

"One more time." He dared her. He wasn't going to hit a woman, he had just been raised not to, but Paine was making it hard when he didn't know how to verbally put that he didn't like her. The bottom line was that he felt threatened by her, not physically, he easily over stood her by at least three inches, but his whole gender ideals were challenged at the sight of her. Paine had very feminine features but there was just something about the way she carried herself that messed with his head. How could she do the things to keep someone like Rikku Bayla? She couldn't, so why did the blonde stay? This mindset got in the way of his genuine guilt about the situation, it always did. He really did feel bad and feel the need to apologize, but to Rikku, not her crazy dyke of a girlfriend.

The little push caused a small scene in the popular student quad. Everyone kind of always figured Paine was a loose cannon, she didn't say much ever and always had that look on her face like she was waiting for someone to piss her off. Of course that was before this year began and she was suddenly seen smiling from time to time with Rikku Bayla practically hanging off her arm. Some found it cute, some found it annoying or disgusting, but the majority of the people were just waiting for shit to go down. It was those people and a few others to stop their lunch breaks and watch.

Baralai just happened to be one of those people.

He pushed his way through the small crowd. "Do we have a problem here?" He asked in a surprisingly feral voice. Paine looked pissed beyond words, which was probably why she wasn't saying anything. She had gone into that quiet place at Buddy's last comment about what she could and couldn't do.

Buddy looked just as upset, if not more so. He looked over at Baralai. "You can fuck off too, twink."

That was it

She hadn't realized she cold cocked Buddy right in the face until she was holding her fist in pain and he was on his back holding his nose. She spat on the ground because for some reason all she could taste was salt and her vision pulsed from dull to vibrant in time with her rapid heartbeat. "You call him that again." She dared in a ragged breath.

**AN: These chapters are getting way too long! Do you all understand how many scenes I had to cut from this to keep it from being worth two normal chapters? Anyway I think we've been fluffing it for too long, here comes the drama! The ring will be explained further later but I'll give a gold star and a cookie to whoever can tell me what chapter Rikku talks about it in.**

**RedGamer101: Haha yes it is about time! I'm glad you decided to review and I hope you continue to, they make me really happy. I can tell you in detail if you open an account lol can't be just sharing all my story secrets in my author's notes now can I? **

**Happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate it!**

**KathleenDee**


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter Fifty Eight **

Paine didn't keep a lot of things from Rikku.

She didn't because she didn't feel the need to. There was a small list though, of things that probably should always be kept to herself. Among them being silly little things like the fact that she used to wear a retainer when she was younger to sleep, or that she didn't know her nine time tables without doing the little hand trick. Rikku would have an open field day with that last one seeing as the Al Bhed hated how Paine was good at the subject. Then there were other things though, things that just didn't need to be said at all, like the specifics of her past, what she did, who she did, none of that mattered now in Paine's eyes, and she could see that Rikku had resigned in just simply not knowing. Maybe it kept a bit of mystery and intrigue there in a relationship that was becoming so serious. Who were they before they were an us? Well that wasn't important now was it?

This though, this was eating at Paine.

Her broiler was on the fritz, and she woke up to Rikku practically trying to jump into her clothes with her to keep warm. Whoever wrote about spring nights being pleasant just hadn't been to New Luca. As the days grew warmer the night still seemed to remain just as cold as winter. Summer was the real difference and Paine couldn't wait to sweat.

She had asked her if she was cold, a half awake Rikku nodded and let Paine facilitate turning her over so she could spoon her.

So that's where they were, both awake enough to know that they were cold, both spooning. Paine sighed at herself, it had happened today, and a more defiant part of her wanted to see how long she could last without saying anything. Luckily it was becoming easier and easier to shut this part up.

"Rikks…" Paine whispered.

Rikku made a little noise of acknowledgement.

Paine held her breath for a moment. "I um, I hit Buddy today…well I guess yesterday….I hit him."

"Dryd'c hela Pypo." She slurred.

Paine laid there a little unsure on what to do next. She cleared her throat. "I punched him…he was bleeding a little."

"…"

Paine shook her a little and blonde groaned. "What if he says something?"

"What if who says something Paine?" She muttered in a tone that implied that she was only asking to ask, and could care less about the answer.

"Buddy."

"…."

"Rikks!"

Rikku rolled onto her back clearly frustrated that her girlfriend wouldn't let her go back to sleep. "Pypo what!?"

Paine paused, she really looked pissed, maybe the middle of the night wasn't the best time to let her guilt surface. "I hit Buddy today…" She could see the gears in Rikku's head starting up. Paine nodded silently at the look she gave her.

"You did what!?"

"I hit him."

"Where? When?"

"After you left I…I just hit him…"

"Are you crazy?"

"I think so…"

"Paine what if he goes to the Dean and says something, you can get kicked out of school and—Wait." Rikku glanced at Paine's alarm clock. "Why are you telling me this now? At two in the morning. Why didn't you say anything when you saw me again at school, or at dinner, or before we went to bed?" Paine didn't have an answer. "Famm oui'ja fugah sa ib huf cu oui sekrd yc famm cyo cusadrehk du aqbmyeh ouincamv."

"He called Lai a twink…"

Rikku gave her girlfriend an exacerbated look. "Like a twinkie? You hit him because he called Baralai a—"

"Like a faggot." Paine corrected.

Rikku seemed to sit with that for a minute before shaking her head. "That's still no reason to hit someone Paine." She rubbed at her temple and muttered something in Al Bhed. It was just too early to even try and think of what to say to Paine. She had no words.

Paine could see the frustration on her features and sighed. "Look babe, he had it coming."

"So what happens if he says something to someone?" Paine was quiet. "I seriously can't even believe you."

"Hold on a minute—"

"Pai what has been going on with you lately?"

Paine made a face. "What do you mean?"

"You don't sleep. You've been grumpy, and you work till like..now." She motioned to the clock. "And now this…..did you stop taking your medication?"

"No!" Paine sat up a little in bed. "I can't just have like an off week?"

Rikku sat up now too. "An off week is leaving your keys in your car or forgetting an umbrella, you punched someone…"

Paine only sighed and looked elsewhere. "You shouldn't have been talking to him."

"So this is my fault?"

"Maybe a little alright, how do you want me to feel? You're so busy trying to be everyone's friend that you can't even realize when someone has false intentions. He's an asshole."

"You don't think I know that? And excuse me for not walking around bitter all the time."

"I'm not bitter."

"Then what is it called hm?"

They were quiet a moment.

"I don't wanna fight." Paine admitted while looking over at Rikku with honest eyes.

Rikku sighed and rubbed at her own cheek before lying back down. "Well what's going on?" Paine didn't say anything. "You've been paranoid and stuff, now you're fighting?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know what happened. I just…"

"Maybe Lai does count."

"What?"

"You always say he doesn't count but maybe Buddy saying that about him made you real upset because he does count. I know you care about him different from Gippal."

"He's my friend."

"But you guys dated."

"When we were little."

Rikku chuckled softly. "I'm not saying you're in love with him Pypo relax, I'm just saying that you are protective over your people, and Buddy was messin' with me and Lai yesterday so maybe that was too much."

Paine sighed and eased herself down to face Rikku. She leaned her weight onto her right elbow. "So what do I do now?" She asked quietly.

Rikku stared at her for a moment. "Let me go back to sleep?" She smiled when she got a little smile from the other woman. "Maybe you should…." She knew Paine wasn't going to like this. "Maybe you should apologize?" Paine's eyes narrowed at just the thought. Rikku grabbed her shoulder with her right hand. "Wait hear me out, if you say sorry…in like an email or something, then he can't really do anything. He would be the jerk that can't accept an apology instead of you looking like well…you."

Paine huffed. "I'm not sorry for hitting him."

"Well you can lie can't you? My question is do you really want to get expelled the week before finals?" She rubbed at Paine's shoulder. "You've worked too hard to blow it on him, he's not worth it." Paine looked as conflicted as ever. Rikku could understand just what she was going through. It was a decision both her inner child and her adult self wanted to make. "I think you'd be surprised at how you feel after."

"Like a pussy?" Paine groaned a little and rolled onto her back. She put her hands in her hair and just stared at the ceiling.

Rikku smiled, she knew that groan. That was the groan that told her that Paine was better now, better than she had ever been before, and it was only a matter of shaking off the little voice that told her that she wasn't. Rikku got comfortable again. "Stop being vulgar." She mumbled as she closed her eyes.

Paine laid there again much like she had been the entire night. Not only had Rikku called her out on her odd behavior the last week or so, but she also brought to light a very real possibility.

She could not graduate.

Then what?

##

"Who….I don't think that works…try whom." Tidus nodded as he pointed the computer screen in front of Paine the next day at the student rec-center. "Whom..." He rubbed his chin and nodded.

Paine made the correction. "Now that I'm reading this I don't even think we need that sentence…"

"Yeah I mean you go into a bit of detail here which is nice, but this line about not caring can totally be omitted. You're trying to sound sorry remember?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me." She deleted the line and read the small paragraph over. "This is fucking stupid."

Tidus smiled. "I think it sounds nice."

Paine just made a sound of disapproval in response.

Few people knew that Tidus Meadows was actually an English major. Paine decided that maybe he could help her email sound a bit less angry and bit more…civil. It was Friday afternoon and the rec-center was understandably dead. Paine hadn't run into Buddy at all since yesterday but Tidus said he wasn't at practice that morning which was odd since he was planning on starting the next game. Rikku hadn't texted her all day, which Paine knew was her sign to get shit done before she even tried to say anything to her. She really knew how to get results from Paine, maybe that's why they worked so well together. Rikku knew her potential, and Paine knew hers. Maybe this would be good leverage to get the blonde to talk with her father, Paine thought. Ever since she announced where she would be going in the summer Rikku had conveniently been staying over at her place or Yuna's. She knew it was because she didn't want to deal with talking about her and that's exactly what Paine didn't need if she was seeking Cid's verbal approval. Everything had to be good, because when Rikku was happy with her, her father would see it. She couldn't have Rikku upset, that just wasn't going to work.

She had hid the ring in the box under her nightstand where the gun Gippal had given her sat along with the other bits of weaponry she had acquired over the years; a switch blade, her slingshot. brass knuckles… It was the only true place she knew the blonde wouldn't go looking around simply because she hated weapons and maybe because looking in that box meant she had to acknowledge that her girlfriend wasn't always as docile and calm as she was now. Paine didn't know, but it was clear Rikku's stance was against it, it was the perfect hiding spot.

Paine sighed when Tidus reached a little over her to get to the tab key. "I don't think he's smart enough to notice that I didn't indent Meadows."

Tidus shrugged. "Old habit I guess..alright look. I think we're done." He took a step back.

"Thank Yevon, alright let's just send this." Paine reached for the mouse.

"Whoa wait, don't you want to read it first?" Paine turned to give him a look. "Guess not…what if Rikku asks you what you wrote?"

"I'll forward it to her if she really wants to know."

Tidus put his hands on his hips. "I mean you could at least practice sounding sad and apologetic."

Paine softened her features a bit and Tidus gave her thumbs up. "Thanks with this." She motioned to the computer screen with the confirmation that her email had been sent. "Rikku is on my back about being nicer to you so… thanks."

Tidus smiled and took a seat back at his own mini desk. It wasn't long ago that Rikku wanted him dead for what happened with Yuna. "No problem, so is she also on your back about coming to my party? You missed quite the affair on Halloween."

Paine nodded and grabbed her cell phone to text Lai to see if he was going to. All the commotion of the last two days had gotten in her way of asking when she saw him this morning. "Yeah she is, I'll be there."

"Nice."

"Yuna gonna be there?" Paine asked after hitting send.

Tidus nodded. "I have to invite the future mother of my kids." He said seriously.

Paine laughed a little. "She's not baby crazy too is she?"

"Rikku's baby crazy?" Tidus asked carefully, as of lately Paine had been keeping more and more to herself at work. He hadn't heard her say anything about Rikku since the semester started up again and he didn't want to push.

Paine ran a hand through her hair and wondered just how fast the bits of silver would turn gray when they really started talking about things like babies. "I don't even know. It's like she likes to see me squirm or somethin'. I know she wants a kid eventually but she and I both know that's gonna be a long time from now and not to mention hard given y'know, our gayness. She just does it to mess with me really. "

Tidus chuckled. "Hey it ain't so easy; I have to convince Yuna that I'm the right guy."

"Then what? You guys fuck a lot and there you go, baby."

Tidus grew thoughtful. "Well y'know, unless Yuna has a problem with it I'd be more than willing to donat—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there." Paine shook her head. "No."

"No?"

"Yeah, just...no."

"Well I mean I understand why it would be hard for you to—"

"We aren't talking about this." Paine cut him off by wheeling her chair back around toward the computer.

_Three hours Later_

_**Did you do it?**_

It was a text from Rikku. It was about seven at night and Tidus was doing his rounds to leave when Paine had another hour before her shift was over and then another three for her cleaning gig was over. It sucked, especially on a Friday night when there was another fiend show Lai was going to. Gippal was still in rehab, and Rikku hadn't shared her plans yet but it probably involved something with Yuna. Sometimes Paine was surprised at herself, a few years ago the only person that mattered was her, and that in itself was only part time. Now she was working towards a goal for her and someone else and it felt strange at times.

_**Yeah**_

_**I'm proud of you :)**_

Paine smiled a little.

_**Thanks Keira**_

_**shm when do you get off?**_

_**11**_

_**Oh I'll be well drunk by then lol :P**_

_**How are you getting home?**_

_**You'll come pick me up, duh.**_

Paine furrowed her brows but then realized what Rikku meant by "home"

_**I can drop you by your dad's house.**_

_**Oh but then whose gonna cuddle you?**_

_**Where you headed tonight baby? **_

_**Dancing with Yunie**_

_**Only Yuna?**_

_**And if people want to dance with me then them too…**_

_**People…**_

_**Paine**_

_**I'll pick you up.**_

_**You sure you're not gonna throw me over your shoulder and carry me out like some kind of cavewoman?**_

_**Not unless you want me to ;)**_

_**I'll drive myself home.**_

_**Are you sure?**_

_**You need your rest.**_

_**But if you're drunk I don't want you driving.**_

_**I will call you if I can't drive, promise.**_

_**Come by for my keys**_

_**Okiedokiekins :)**_

Ten minutes later Paine could hear the main door open and then the jingling of bangles. Tidus had left nine minutes ago and Paine was left reclining in the large rolling chair at the very front of the help desk. Her feet were up and she was reading her Judo trainer manual when Rikku walked up to the desk and smiled.

"You sounded sorry right?"

Paine dog-eared her book and stood. "Hm?" She slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out her apartment keys.

Rikku took them from her hands. "The email?"

Paine nodded. "I didn't like it…"

"I know you didn't. I'm kind of surprised you actually did it." Paine half shrugged. She had been raging within herself for at least an hour about the already sent email. Rikku had been right, it was the smart thing to do, but that didn't mean that she would like it. "Gimmie a hug I have to go." Rikku jingled the set of keys. Paine had been taking the train to school and back because she wanted to save her gas money so she really didn't need the car keys attached to it.

Paine stood and walked from behind the desk. "Have fun." She put her arms around Rikku and the blonde hugged her back

"We only had two kisses today." Rikku reminded her cutely.

Paine leaned in and pecked her twice before letting the last one linger a bit. Rikku had read somewhere that at least five kisses a day from your love would keep a relationship strong. Paine didn't know how accurate that was but she wasn't about to complain. "Five."

"Okay, I'm going to meet Yunie." Rikku nodded and then paused before releasing Paine from her hug. "We'll talk later?"

"While you're drunk?" Paine chuckled.

"I'm not going to drink too much since I have to drive."

"You sure you don't want me to come and get you?"

Rikku nodded. "Go home, sleep."

Paine nodded. "Still…"

"I know I know." Rikku gave her a wink. "I'll see you later."

##

She hadn't realized this was becoming a habit until she didn't even bother to slow down and glance into the parking lot to see if Paine left her spot open for her. She just turned in and parked before tiredly gathering her things and heading into the building.

Her legs were sore, and her throat a bit scratchy, her hair mucky and her makeup well worn.

Rikku had had a fun night out with her cousin. For the drinks that she did have she felt as if she just went through one of Paine's classes with all the exercising she did while dancing. The dance club Yuna had found was called Zara's and it wasn't like the usual sweaty packed Taboo with the girls with high heels that stepped on your feet or the groping men dressed in Ted Marty. She joked that Zara's made her feel like an adult. It had a lounge area, and an actual crowd of people who just wanted to have a good time and dance away the stress of the week. Though a little expensive with drinks and admission Rikku would definitely be going again.

She and Yuna had too much fun but Paine was the one consistent thing on her mind all day after their talk early that morning in bed.

The empty apartment was silent, which Rikku decided was a good thing. It meant Paine was actually sleeping. The kitchen light had been left on and Rikku smiled a bit as she stepped out of her heels and kicked them gently beside Paine's sneakers. Paine haphazardly covered on the bed with her face in the pillow clad in only her underwear made her smile even wider. Clutched under one long toned arm was the pillow that Rikku always used. It was cute that she lay with it so close. Rikku liked to think it was because it smelt like her shampoo, but maybe it was just because Paine wanted extra comfort.

Paine shifted when Rikku moved about the room quietly as she tried to gather something to sleep in and a towel. After a nice long shower Rikku stepped out of the small tub feeling a lot better and not smelling of martini's and sweat. She moisturized her face, passed a towel through her damp hair, and brushed her teeth all before hanging her towel and tip toeing into the bedroom again. Paine was in the same position as before, her breathing was silent and her lips parted just a little. Rikku just watched her sleep for a minute. She looked so innocent when she slept, exactly like her five year old self sitting at a piano in the picture Rikku had framed and put in her room.

Rikku chuckled as she tried to pry the pillow out of her grasp but Paine shifted and held it tighter. "Well what am I supposed to sleep on?" Rikku asked knowing she wouldn't get an answer. She tugged a bit more and before she knew it she had successfully woken her sleeping beauty.

Paine looked a bit confused at first but then wordlessly handed over the other pillow and closed her eyes again. Rikku leaned forward and kissed her cheek before whispering to her in Al Bhed. Paine made a gentle noise to let the blonde know that she was glad she was back too. Rikku got comfortable and before falling asleep herself she could faintly remember feeling an arm wrap around her stomach.

She woke up the next morning in the same position. In the minute it took for her cell phone to start ringing and addressing her attention again she realized it was around ten in the morning and Paine was still in bed with her. Pretty soon the ringing that had woken her up started up on its second loop and Rikku picked it up and put it on silent when she saw it was her father. "Ugh." She mumbled before rubbing her face with one hand and putting the phone back down on the nightstand with the other. The small room went back to being silent for a moment before the ringing started up again. Rikku could feel Paine sigh against her neck.

"Just pick it up." She mumbled.

"He's only going to ruin my morning." Rikku whined."Hey nooo!" Rikku called cutely when Paine began getting out of bed.

Paine ran a hand through her hair and gathered herself before standing and shuffling off to the bathroom.

Rikku sighed and picked up the call on the third try. "Pop."

"Milan why do you have a phone?"

"I was sleeping." Paine returned a moment later and crawled back into bed. Rikku found her eyes and smiled as she tried to get off the phone with her nosey father. Ever since their talk about staying in New Luca he had been concerned about the latest with her and Paine. He also had started to notice that Rikku was avoiding home. "Yes yes mhm..Pop…bye" she hung up and ran a hand through her hair much like Paine did when she was stressed, except she wasn't stressed now, she was just annoyed. She smiled though when she felt Paine scoot closer and wrap her arm around her midsection and rest her nose near her ear. The small show of neediness from Paine was rare, but it was also very sweet. "Do you member how you got all tense when I would hug you when we first met?" She asked before turning her head slightly but stopping when she realized she wouldn't be able to get a good look at Paine since she was so close.

"No." Paine rasped in her morning voice.

Rikku smiled to herself and turned on her side so Paine could spoon her. Paine didn't know why but there was just something about today that made her want to feel close to Rikku like this, like maybe she wouldn't get a chance to later and she would hate herself for not spending the morning snuggling.

"Well I do."

"Mm."

"Pypo?"

"Mm?"

"I like this a lot…y'know." Rikku shrugged feeling a nervousness that she hadn't known with Paine in a long time surface. "Saturday mornings." She concluded hoping that the message was loud and clear. Paine's breathing against her ear was slow, the judo fighter's resting heart rate was scary low since she worked on her cardio a lot, it's what Rikku realized attributed to her death like sleep state.

Paine smiled behind Rikku's back. Love was this thing that she had never really understood. Dating Rikku had definitely opened her eyes to it, and it helped her embrace it but… she never understood love. Was it hugs and kisses and Saturday mornings? Or was it working things through, talking, and sharing uncomfortable feelings like anger and guilt. The bottom line was that already Rikku was changing things. Not only did she dance now, but she also apologized to people…Maybe love was change.

"Let's stay in bed." Paine murmured back in the same raspy voice as before.

Rikku nodded. "Maybe if—" Just then Paine's cell phone on the nightstand beside Rikku's began to buzz wildly. Rikku pouted and Paine let out a little groan. "Pick it up?"

"Who is it?" Paine chanced an arm from around Rikku's body to rub her face.

Rikku leaned forward and looked at Paine's phone. "It's Lai Montgomery" Rikku read the incoming call screen. "Is that Iffy?" She asked about the little white dog that accompanied Lai's call screen as she handed Paine the phone.

Paine coughed and sat up. "Yeah I got a pic of him…Hey what's up?" She answered. Rikku rolled onto her back and watched Paine's face go from calm and sleepy to semi alert. "Alright." Was all she said before hanging up the phone and handing it to Rikku to put back on the nightstand. Rikku merely shook her head.

"You guys don't even say bye?"

"For what?" She asked as she lay back down and got back behind Rikku to snuggle.

"Because…"

"Mmm because." Paine nodded before placing a little kiss on Rikku's cheek.

"What did Mr. Montgomery want?"

"What did Mr. Bayla want?"

"He wanted to know what I was up to today."

"Lai was bringing that sword your dad got me to get sharpened."

Rikku groaned and Paine actually kissed her cheek again for it. "Stop the violence Pai."

"He was just getting it sharpened babe."

"What is it doing over there anyway?"

"…"

"Paine!"

Paine huggled Rikku and laughed at her squirming. "No reason."

"Stop lying to your girlfriend."

"Baby."

"You're gonna cut a boob off or something!" Paine couldn't help but laugh at how serious Rikku seemed."I can't lose them!"

"Don't you mean me?"

Rikku grinned. "Well I mean sure, you too." she sighed, "Oui I just want you to be careful okay? It's enough you're sneakin' off to fight, and then you hit Buddy, and just c'mon isn't this nice?" Rikku asked seriously now as she turned to face Paine. "Don't you like this?"

Paine's eyes softened "I like this a lot."

"So don't..y'know, do anything stupid."

"I won't I'm not." Paine nodded. "Stop worrying about it, I sent the email right?" She rubbed Rikku's shoulder finally noticing that behind her joking there was her real worry. "I was stupid alright? I wasn't thinking but you know I'd never give _this_ up." Rikku just nodded and Paine frowned a little at the fact that she knew her well enough to get her sincerity, but to know better.

They stayed in bed till about noon. Paine had to go pick up Big Mack so she could watch her at Judo and Rikku was going to head home and begin the long process of getting ready for the party that night at Tidus's.

##

Paine felt a little sad to leave when she did. If she were honest she was all for spending time with her friends but would much rather just kick back for Joyce and Big Mack for a little longer. Their place would always remain a home to her, Joyce had stressed it many of times before and it honestly felt like the genuinely wanted her around.

She pulled out her cell phone at a red light near Rikku's house and decided to do a bit of strategic planning. If Cid were home then she'd make a left and head to her place, if he wasn't then she'd come over to give Rikku the food, either way the blonde would get the food eventually. Paine was still trying to plan out the best opportunity to speak to Cid, but I light of Rikku avoiding him and the Buddy situation that happened that week she really wanted to play her cards right.

"Pypo." Rikku answered on the third ring a bit out of breath. "Tu oui ghuf E necgat so meva vun drec lymm?"

Paine chuckled. "What Happened?"

"I left my phone on the first floor."

"You dressed?"

"The party doesn't start till like tenish."

"I thought it started at eight?"

"No we're not going at eight."

"So you're not dressed then..."

"I'm doing my hair." Rikku reached up to her hair to release one of the little twists she had going on. It was going to create this lightly curled look that she liked to wear out.

"Is your dad home?"

"No he's out."

"Alright well I'm like two minutes away, I'm bringing you food."

"Ooh, have I told you I loved you today?"

"Nope."

"Well I love you, and I'm starving so hurry up."

Paine chuckled. "Come outside."

"I'm doing my hair it's not done yet. I'll open the door for you…" Rikku poked her head out the front door in time to see Paine pulling in. She jumped out of the car holding a Tupperware container with a small brown paper bag on top of it very carefully.

Rikku hung up her phone and smiled before letting Paine in and closing the door. "It smells really good Pai." She followed Paine into the kitchen. "Where did you go?"

"I got you beef patties, but then I came back and Joyce was cooking so I brought some of that too."

Rikku peered into the container and felt her mouth water. "Beef?"

Paine nodded. "She really put a lot in here." She noted before removing the lid completely. "Stew beef with rice and peas."

Rikku made a show of rubbing her hands together. "Looks yummy."

Paine nodded and moved to get her a plate and a fork.

"Did you eat yet?" Rikku asked as she ripped a piece of a beef patty and started eating it.

"No, I didn't want to be late to come over."

"Oh well that's probably why she put so much, for you and me."

Paine grabbed another plate. "Yeah."

"The next time I make something you'll have to carry her something okay?" Paine nodded. "How was Judo, did you get down that kick?"

Pine pouted a bit without even realizing. "No, I think my rotation is off. It's a round about one so your opponent has to get you with your back to them, and I always clear Pip's head instead of getting her in the face…maybe the force of the rotation is what's making it hard…" Paine went off into her thoughts about how her training session went that day.

Rikku was rationing out the food onto to plates. "Who's Pip?"

"The chick I train with."

"You have a girl trainer? How come I'm now hearing about this?" Rikku asked teasingly.

"Well I haven't slept with her yet so I don't think it's going to happen." Paine shrugged and laughed at the look on Rikku's face. "C'mon Ri."

"You say that so seriously, you should be a frickin' actress."

Paine laughed. "She's married, real cool, she and Elma actually went to high school together if you can believe it." Paine went into the fridge. "Do you want water?"

"Yes please." Rikku moved the plates to the breakfast nook and rested them down before moving the beef patties in between them. She walked over to where Paine was pouring the filtered water from the jug in the fridge and rested a hand on her back. "No Martha today?"

Paine shook her head. "Next week, I also have a doctor's appointment with Em and then I have to drive cross town to see Dr. Vice, and then I have to drive back for a fitting."

"You want me to drive you?"

Paine shook her head no. "Don't you have orientation?"

Rikku sighed. "No, that's the week after."

Paine mimicked Rikku's sigh. "Continuing education is so stressful."

Rikku laughed a little and took her water glass from Paine before going to sit down. Paine sat down across from her. "Hey I don't see you doing it. _Dr_. P."

"Me?" Paine shook her head. "I may not have a job yet, but now that I can taste the end of school forever I'm glad I'm not gunning for anything else. Not for me, but you? You can do it babe."

"Cheers" Rikku lifted her water glass.

Paine chuckled and lifted hers to clink before they both took a sip and began to eat. "Did you finish the painting for the lady in group?" Paine asked after stifling that painting gawking at her stomach with some food.

Rikku nodded as she waited till she was done chewing. "But I don't know now…I mean what if she thinks it's awkward. I would feel awkward."

"You were so for it before."

"I was but now I'm nervous. I mean she shared this personal thing and…Do I talk about what happened with me?"

Paine shrugged. "You could, maybe she'd understand more, but you don't have to. Just tell her that what she said touched you and that you just felt compelled to make this for her."

"That sounds an awful lot like the truth."

Paine nodded and finished chewing again. "I'm an honest woman, what can I say?"

Rikku narrowed her eyes playfully at her before going back to eating. "So finals…" Paine groaned which made Rikku laugh. "I know."

"I'm gonna have to legit disappear for a bit to get some studying in babe. You can text me and stuff but, between that and wrapping up classes at the gym…I just don't know how much free time I'll have."

Rikku nodded in complete understanding. She had three major papers to write and only two big finals. Paine was taking five classes plus working. "We should set a time out like one day to just meet up and make out for a little bit and then leave." She laughed at the idea of just meeting Paine in a janitors closest or something and kissing for a few minutes before running off for an exam. if Paine were working like she had been recently finals week was going to be a huge challenge for her. By the end of the week she knew coffee would be the only thing propping Paine and the rest of the student body up.

Paine nodded liking the idea. "We can study together too just…y'know don't talk to me."

Rikku chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

They went back to eating and before they knew it they were all done. They both went into the den to just relax a bit before they really had to start getting ready for the night. Paine sat beside Rikku on the sofa and the blonde lifted Paine's arm to scoot under. "You wanna watch Djose Shore?" Rikku picked up the remote.

"Why do you even ask me this shit?" Paine asked truly wondering how in the hell her girlfriend watched the show.

"Because you're a guest." She turned the TV on. "Oh I know, you probably want to watch some boring documentary on documentaries. Blah."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Better than watching people do nothing…so you're doing nothing while watching people do nothing. Productive babe real productive."

"Oh hush." Rikku rested against Paine.

Paine turned her head to her right a bit and placed a kiss on the crown of Rikku's head.

"Pypo you're gonna mess up my hair." Rikku whined quietly while watching the show.

"You smell good." Paine answered. She felt Rikku moved against her a little before falling still. Paine didn't care much for the show, in fact she really hoped it got canceled, however like that feeling she got that same morning she rather liked just sitting with Rikku and supporting her watching something that would make her hair a tint blonder and her IQ a point lower.

Paine was in her daze about the ring in her room when Rikku came out of nowhere and turned to look at her. "Paine."

Paine blinked and looked at her serious features. "What?"

"Did Buddy ever email you back?"

Paine shrugged. "Haven't checked my email, doubt it though…why?"

"What if he comes tonight?"

Paine raised a brow. "You think he'd come?" Rikku shrugged. "I don't think he'll come."

"Why?"

"Cause I hit him pretty hard, I mean it was bound to have knocked some sense into him." Rikku didn't laugh. Paine sighed. "What do you want me to say, Princess?"

"That you'll try and keep your cool if he does show up."

"Fine." Paine thought that was fair enough. "I promise to try and keep my cool if he shows up." It seemed to satisfy Rikku enough to have her go back to watching the show. Paine on the other hand couldn't return to her blissful thinking so easily. She hated disappointing her, and to have Rikku wondering if she was going to just flip out and hit people was not how she wanted her girlfriend to think of her. So for all intents and purposes she planned to keep that promise.

Just then the front door opened and two familiar voices were heard.

"—Well she had a nice skirt on at least."

"Unbelievable, we run into them and all you can say is that she had a nice skirt on?" Cid shook his head. "Milan!"

"Well it was a very nice skirt, a Lorene Nvetski,"

"A who?"

Juliann Leblanc rolled her eyes.

"In here Pop!" Rikku called from the den.

"You will not believe who we just ran into—oh Paine, haven't seen you around lately." Cid stopped himself and nodded at the duo on the couch looking rather comfortable.

Paine pulled her arm from around Rikku quickly and sat up a bit. Rikku just rolled her eyes. "Hi Mr. Bayla."

"How are things?"

Paine nodded. "Good."

"Who did you run into Pop?" Rikku asked saving them all from an awkward and blaming silence.

"Well uh." Cid hesitated. "I saw the Moore's out at the club…"

"Oh." Rikku glanced at Paine and then her father. "How did they seem?"

Cid nodded. "They seemed well enough for it…." He looked over at Paine. "I heard of what happened at the dry cleaners, and with Paul. It is probably a bit…sensitive."

"No." Paine said simply.

Cid nodded. "So what are your plans after school Paine?"

"Pop." Rikku gave him a look. "Not now."

"What?"

"Come along you, we have work to get done." Leblanc said as she pulled Cid out of the room.

"Sorry." Rikku said as she looked back at Paine. Leave it up to her father to check off all the things on Paine's _please don't talk to me about this _list.

"It's fine." Paine put her arm back around Rikku and shrugged a little.

"You sure? I can go punch him in the belly for you?" Rikku asked as she leaned into Paine a little.

"Then you'd need to send him an email saying sorry."

Rikku grinned and leaned in to kiss her. Paine pulled away though "Aye!"

"Your dad is here."

Rikku furrowed her brows. "So no kisses?" Paine nodded. "Since when? Gimmie a kiss before I take one." Paine shook her head and they both began to laugh as Rikku tried to steal kisses from her. Eventually Paine just gave and kissed her for being so damn adorable. "Wasn't so hard, in fact I think you liked it."

"I do like it, I just y'know wanna do the right things and…he didn't sound too upset y'know." Paine nodded.

"Who Pop?" Paine nodded again. "I guess maybe he's had some time to think?" Rikku shrugged. "I'm just avoiding any real conversation with him for now. I don't know what to say to him and he doesn't know what to say to me so until we know what to say without fighting then we just aren't going to say anything."

"How's that working out?"

"Pretty good actually."

"Good." Paine agreed. Rikku saying that maybe all Cid needed was some time relaxed her nerves a bit. Maybe she could pull this off before graduation after all.

##

"So Princess." Paine started as she finished buttoning up her shirt and the pushing the sleeves up to her elbows.

Rikku looked back from putting on her makeup on. "Ooh look at you all dressed up, are you wearing heels tonight too?" Paine nodded. "Gonna have to chase those groupies away huh?"

Paine walked up behind Rikku and put her hands on her hips before kissing her on the bit of neck that wasn't hidden behind slightly curled blonde hair. "I'm just lookin' at you; I mean damn…where is the rest of it?" Paine asked jokingly.

Rikku shivered a bit from Paine talking behind her air like that. "Rest of what?"

"Your skirt." Paine made a show of trying to pull it up some and Rikku laughed and pushed her hands away. "Are we gonna have problems tonight?"

"Only if you make them for yourself." Rikku sent Paine a little look over her shoulder and then went back to putting on her foundation.

"I think we're going to have problems." Paine concluded and let her hand slip around the front of Rikku's thigh and then slowly begin to inch upward. Rikku jumped and made a little squeak when Paine got where she wanted to be. The vacation was short lived though when Rikku pulled her hand.

"Paine." She warned without threat.

"Babe you know that you can't wear things this short around me, it's distracting…"

Rikku laughed to herself as she went back to putting on her makeup. She was certain that the mini skirt would have an effect on Paine, but not one this strong. Her girlfriend was still behind her playing with the hem of her skirt. Rikku turned surprising Paine a little. "C'mere, let me do your eyes we have to leave soon."

##

She assumed she would get used to huge houses by now but Yevon Tidus lived in a mall!

The grand foyer was packed like a club. There was even a DJ in the corner. Paine had never seen any of these people in her life but they apparently where seniors and juniors. The foyer was a larger rounded room with a curved staircase crawling the far wall that lead to a balcony with even more party goers. Rikku chuckled at Paine looking around. She tugged on her girlfriend's hand and Paine leaned her ear close to the blonde's glossed lips.

"Don't lose me!"

Paine found her eyes and smiled at how they sparkled. She leaned close to Rikku's ear. "I'd never find you!" Rikku's laugh was soundless under the loud music.

They had met up with Yuna and Baralai at Yuna's for a pregame drink and a light dinner before the four of them hopped into Lai's car and headed over to Tidus's house. It appeared the party had been this packed for some time now because Tidus was nowhere to be found.

Lai capped a hand on Paine's right shoulder and leaned her a little closer to hear what he was saying. Paine looked off to where he was pointing and laughed before showing Rikku Nooj and Hope dancing among the crowd.

"How much acid you think they're on?" Paine asked watching Nooj's moves.

Rikku shrugged and continued to follow Yuna to the kitchen. Paine followed after her making a mental note to say hello to him after she had a drink.

The four friends found Tidus in the kitchen helping Wakka hold some poor new blitzer's legs upside down as the newbie did a keg stand. Tidus caught sight of Yuna and completely forgot what he was doing and let go of the newbie's leg and walked over to greet her with a big hug. Wakka easily accommodated to holding the other leg while he counted along with the other blitzer's.

The kitchen had been taken over by the New Luca University sports teams.

It was a full size kitchen that easily accommodated the four teams that were present. The large island in the middle held all the booze and was being guarded by a few guys from the wrestling team. It was BYOB unless you knew Tidus. So the vast majority of the party goers arrived drunk.

One detailed sweep of the kitchen for Buddy and Paine found it okay to let go of Rikku's hand. This place was definitely less crowded and a decibel less noisy than the foyer.

"You're drunk already?" Yuna asked disapprovingly as Tidus held her for an extra second.

Tidus pulled away sheepishly. "We're basically done babe." He smiled widely at his mistake. "Yuna Yuna Yuna." He corrected himself before moving on to Rikku to give her a huge hug. Yuna couldn't help but laugh he was such a mess sometimes."Rikkkkuuuu where are your pants girl?" Tidus laughed and Paine yanked him away from her when she saw his hands about to check the bare skin of her girlfriend's legs.

"Watch it Teedus."

Tidus laughed and moved to hug Paine next. Paine stood there stiffened with Rikku and Yuna both giggling about the whole thing.

"Aye excuse him ya?" Wakka laughed as he walked over and pulled Tidus away from Paine gently. "He lost a bet."

"Don't you have a baby?" Paine asked teasingly. It was good to see him and Nooj here, now all they were missing was Elma and Gippal and then they'd really show all these preppy kids how to party.

Wakka laughed. "And a fiancé, ain't she great?"

"He's gonna sleep here cause he and Lulu got into a fight." Tidus nodded loosely.

"Oh no you big oaf, what did you say to her?" Rikku asked as she made a fist and playfully nudged Wakka in the stomach.

Wakka only shook his head. "Same thing ya? Nothin'." Wakka wasn't thinking tonight, he was just here to have a good time with his teammates before he went pro and would never them again. "Let's get you guys some drinks. Dr. P." He motioned to Paine to come and help him and she nodded before going to get cups for everyone.

"You two are just having a ball tonight hm?" Rikku asked a wobbly Tidus once the other two left.

"Well now that all you pretty ladies have arrived we can really have fun." He smiled charmingly and then laughed a little. "You too Lai, although I'd say more handsome than pretty, nice shirt man."

Lai raised a brow and Yuna and Rikku burst out in laughter. "Thanks?"

"S'cool." Tidus nodded and then smiled warmly despite his daze. "I'm glad you all made it though." He was looking at Yuna. "I'm really gonna miss…y'know. everyone." He nodded and then just turned and walked off.

"So I'm gonna make sure Paine doesn't make me an appletini." Lai nodded noticing that Rikku and Yuna needed a moment after such an obvious comment like that.

"What a gentleman." Rikku said as Baralai left. She turned and looked over at Yuna. "Alright spill it." She said when she noticed the distressed look on her cousin's face.

"Why does he have to do things like that?" She was really just planning on coming and having a good time, she and Tidus had spoken before and he promised it'll be all fun and no awkwardness.

"He's drunk Yuna."

"Yes but…" Yuna shook her head at herself. "It's fine. He's drunk."

Rikku narrowed her eyes at her in confusion. "Why do I have a feeling you've just made some sort of decision?"

"Because I have."

"Oh no."

Yuna laughed. "No this is one you'll like."

"What then?"

"I'm just going to ignore his comments and have a good night tonight cous'." Yuna put her arm around Rikku's shoulder and nodded while putting a thumbs up for Rikku. The blonde giggled at their old hand shake starter from when they were little. She pressed her thumbs up against Yuna's and then they both blew them up and laughed.

Yuna was tired of being dragged around by her emotions. Tonight she was going to party and that was just that.

##

A few hours had passed and the four late comers were officially drunk. They had been hanging out in the kitchen for the most part until Rikku wanted to dance. She dragged everyone into the foyer and grabbed onto Paine

"Fuck babe this skirt…" Paine muttered to herself as she danced with Rikku's back to her front. Rikku laughed to herself upon hearing that and feeling Paine's hands pull her closer against her. "You know a lot of people are wondering why I let you leave the house in that." The taller of the two spoke into Rikku's ear so she could hear her over the loud base.

Rikku grinned over her shoulder and grabbed a hold of Paine's arm that had wrapped itself around her midsection. "Because you like to show off."

Paine chuckled to herself. "Nah, I just like staring at your ass." Paine snuck in a little squeeze at the same time as placing a tiny kiss on her cheek.

Not too far away from them Yuna and Baralai were dancing in a similar fashion save Yuna was facing Baralai with her arms around his neck.

Both couples had someone watching them.

Tidus crossed his arms. "Well she might as well do him."

Wakka laughed. "Relax brudda, dey just dancing." Tidus huffed.

"How would you like it Lulu was dancing like that on some guy?"

"She's wearin' my engagement ring and had my kid, she can do whatever she wants."

"That's why you're sleeping over here?" Tidus retorted.

"Nah." Wakka crossed his arms remembering why he was here and not at home in the first place. "Don't mean we can't disagree on tings."

"So what happened?"

Wakka remained quiet.

"Well I would marry Yuna…" Tidus shook his head watching Lai get to put his hands on her waist like that. "I mean who does he think he is? Baralai…what kind of name is that anyway? Baralai…"

"Yuh name's Tidus…"

"Well yours is Wakka!" Wakka only laughed at how jealously looked on one of his best friends. "I mean she's just…dancing with him like they know each other, I bet he doesn't know she's allergic to latex…."

"Really?" Wakka rubbed his chin.

"Yeah, we had to use those other condoms…"

"Lu likes it without 'em."

"And that's how she got pregnant."

Wakka shrugged with a little laugh. He sighed and looked at his watch. She should be back home by now. "Aye I gotta make call, don't do nothin' stupid."

"Yeah yeah yeah." Tidus crossed his arms and glared openly as Baralai wrapped one of his arms around Yuna's lower back and pulled her closer.

Wakka used the back door of the kitchen and pulled out his cell phone and dialed the first speed dial.

"Hello?" Lulu answered on the second ring.

"You home?"

"I am."

"Viddy asleep? He behaved?"

"He did."

"Alright, just checking in."

"When are you coming home?"

"Tomorrow."

The line was quiet for a moment. "Okay."

"Ya?"

"It's your choice."

"What do you want?"

"What you want."

"Lu…"

"Wakka it's late."

Wakka sighed. "It is."

"I will talk to you in the morning."

"ight Lu…" He rubbed his face. He hated fighting with her, and going to sleep in different places was enough for him, he couldn't go to bed angry. "I love you."

"…Till the very end, my dear."

Wakka smiled. Lulu always had a way of saying things. "Give him a kiss for me eh?"

"I will."

Wakka smiled and hung up before heading back into the party.

Paine couldn't take it anymore. She wrapped an arm around Rikku's pelvic area and whispered something into the blonde's ear that had Rikku red.

"Pai!" Rikku turned to face her girlfriend.

She was just drunk enough to be bluntly honest about her horniness. "C'mon Princess." She pulled Rikku along and before she knew it Rikku was leading her somewhere. They climbed the curling staircase and the blonde pushed past an area that was clearly blocked off with an array of large potted plants. Paine nearly tripped over them at the speed Rikku was going. Finally she pushed the guest room door open and was surprised at how fast Paine grabbed her and slammed the door with her foot. The two stumbled backwards in a mini circle as their hands frantically grabbed at the others body. Paine pushed Rikku up against the wall of the door and picked her up against the wall while locked in a lustful kiss complete with tongue massaging, teeth knocking, and lip biting. Rikku exhaled deeply through her nose as she buried her hand into Paine's hair and tugged, Paine grunted sexily and Rikku felt her legs shake so she wrapped them around her lover's waist. She moaned into the kiss when Paine bucked her hips against her center. The taller of the two hummed as she rubbed her hands up and down the expanse of the legs that were squeezing her. "I'm gonna fuck you so good." She promised in a guttural whisper as she turned them around and carried Rikku toward the bed.

##

"I'm allergic to latex." She breathed as he pulled something out of his wallet.

Lai looked up at her. "Me too."

"Really?"

He nodded. Yuna smiled softly at him. "Oh."

##

She was a sweaty mess, and she was turned on so high it hurt, but she couldn't stop, the blonde practically glued to her body was telling her not to every sixth of a second in two different languages.

Rikku was still shaking and gasping when Paine collapsed beside her out of breath herself. "Fuck Rikks." Paine laughed. "Fuucck." She drew out as she ran a hand through her hair. She had cum because Rikku came, and it was probably the most powerful orgasm she had had to date probably because it snuck up on her right when Rikku called out her name.

Imagine her surprise.

Rikku lay on her back in a quiet haze. Paine just let her lay there while she looked about the dark guest room. "Hey do you…Rikks?" Pane looked back at her girlfriend who wasn't moving. "Rikku?" She shook her. "Rikkuu."

"Stooppp." Rikku whined while pushing at her hands.

Paine laughed at how annoyed she sounded. "Baby you can't sleep here."

"I can sleep wherever ever I want. I'm a Bayla."

"Alright." Paine grinned and shook her head. "You gonna be alright _Bayla_?" She looked out of it. Rikku nodded slowly and Paine leaned over her and captured her lips in a soft kiss that was intended to be quick but the two found themselves kissing tenderly. They separated just as slowly and Paine sighed and leaned her forehead against Rikku's. "Shiva you make me wanna ask you things." Paine murmured staring down into her hazy green eyes.

"Like?" Rikku whispered back.

Paine stroked Rikku's left arm slowly and then hesitated before picking up her left hand and locking eyes with her.

"Uh!"

The two paused at the sudden noise coming from the room next door. "What was—" It came again and Rikku's eyes widened. "Pai!" She grabbed her girlfriend.

"What what?" Paine searched the blonde's eyes.

"That's Yunie!" Rikku whisper yelled that was soon followed by a fit of giggles. "Oh my…" The noise happened again followed by an unrecognizable male one and the two began to laugh. "I guess they made up." Rikku nodded with mirth in her eyes.

Paine laughed too. "Yeah."

Rikku's face quickly paled. "Do you think they heard me telling you to—" Paine shook her head quickly and Rikku let out a little breath of relief and gave Paine a wink. "Good." Paine was about to say something when bed squeaking stopped her. Rikku was blushing at it and Paine raised a brow at the intensity of it all.

"Damn Teedus." Paine muttered and Rikku slapped her arm, the two laughed a little more until the bed suddenly stopped next door, voices were heard, then a door slammed and then it opened again.

"Lai wait!" Yuna called down the hall.

"Lai?" Rikku whispered to Paine with raised eyebrows. Paine looked just as surprised.

Out in the hall Yuna held the sheet to her body and put her hand to her face. "Oh this is not good."

**AN: You all still there? So I've rewritten this chapter like eight times from start to finish…yeah, I know. Anyway I hope this one works as well as I think it does. Review kay? Party ain't over yet folks ;)  
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**KathleenDee**


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter Fifty Nine**

Rikku's face twisted as the harsh liquor passed through her. She closed the distance between her and Paine and simply leaned her forehead against Paine's clavicle. The judo fighter put an arm around her. "You good?" Rikku nodded. Paine only laughed a bit and poured them another shot.

The plan was simple

They were going to get so trashed that saying anything about what they had heard would be physically impossible.

Paine tried to remember to chase every shot with more water because of the medication, but by the their third and last shot she forgot about all of that and was focusing on Rikku. Who had to be at least a level deeper than she was by the way she was holding onto her.

"Wow you guys really went to town." Tidus laughed as he approached the two.

"Oh noooo." Rikku began to cry and Paine hugged her completely.

Tidus furrowed a brow. "What happened? Is she okay?"

Paine tried her best to speak over the music and the hysterical ramblings of her girlfriend. "She's fine!"

"She's crying." Tidus pointed out. Paine just gave him a look that told him to mind his own business…because his business was doing one of her best friends. Tidus put his hands up at the little glare Paine gave him. "Have you seen Yuna? I got the Dj to play that song she likes.."

Paine walked Rikku off toward the back where Wakka had made his call without saying a word. The air was chilly, she knew if because her cheeks were cold, but it was the alcohol that helped to keep her warm. That and Rikku's body pressed so close.

Rikku pulled her face away from near Paine's chest and wiped at her eyes.

"You alright Princess?"

"That was a close one." Rikku nodded seemingly free of tears.

"Fuck that was good."

Rikku nodded proudly but the slight movement seemed to cause her to lose a bit of balance. Paine reached her arms out like beams and Rikku grabbed hold of them before hugging Paine for no reason other than she was drunk. "I can't believe that…I mean where did she go!?"

"We can try looking for her again if you want?"

"Noooo"

"You wanna fuck again?"

"Painneee."

"Make love?"

Rikku burst out into giggles. "Maybe."

"My arm is kinda sore though." Paine admitted as she continued to try and steady her girlfriend like a youngster learning how to walk. Rikku just slumped back into Paine every time Paine let go.

"My…my me is kinda sore."

"Your wha?"

"My Me!"

"Fuck stop yelling, I'm right here."

"You're here, and I'm here, and I'm here and you're here."

Paine laughed with her. "We're here together baby."

Rikku hugged Paine especially close. "Together." She repeated dreamily while looking up at her with sparkling eyes.

"Always." Paine mumbled before leaning down a little and kissing her softly.

"Hate to interrupt."

Paine looked up from hugging Rikku and held the blonde closer upon instinct at who she saw standing up from by the covered pool edge.

Had he been sitting there the whole time?

"Who is it?" Rikku called jokingly from being held tight against Paine's chest. "Boobs."

"Rikku." Paine hushed as she tried to focus on the figure getting closer to them. She was drunk and she hated the fact now as her senses told her too late to tell Rikku to go inside. Paine exhaled. "The fuck do you want?"

Buddy shrugged. The sliver thing in his hand turning out to be a flask which eased Paine's racing heart by a lot. "To talk to Rikku."

"Yeah well I already established that you aren't allowd to do that so—"

"Got your email."

"He got it?" Rikku asked no one in particular.

"So?"

"Just thought it was nice of you to say sorry for breaking my nose."

Paine's worse half got the best of her and she began to grin. "Broken." She was glad.

"Yes, which is why I'm pressing charges."

"No you're not."

"I'm not?"

Paine nodded. "You're not."

"You sound confident."

"I just know it's something you'll regret."

"Is that a threat?"

Paine nodded. "Definitely a threat."

Buddy shook his head. "You don't know what you're doing Kerrigan."

"Rikku go inside." Paine finally said not wanting her to hear what she was going to say next.

"I wanna stay with you." The blonde looked up at her and said quietly. She sensed something was wrong, yes, however alcohol was one hell of a suppressant, plus it didn't help that she was being pressed against Paine so much that she could barely see her face. Something told her that Paine would need backup.

"I'll be right there. I promise."

"Remember what we said…?" Paine nodded. She just needed to squash this thing with Buddy once and for all. "I mean it." Rikku poked her.

"I know you do."

Rikku turned to look at Buddy and squinted a bit. "You don't be a meanie either."

Buddy remained quiet; a bit nervous now. Rightfully so, he knew Paine wouldn't do anything with Rikku present, but now that the blonde was leaving he didn't know what to expect.

Paine waited till Rikku closed the door and disappeared from view before looking at Buddy Her gaze hardened causing her crimson eyes to darken to a rusted ruby instead of her usual auburn. She walked over to him and literally knocked the flask out of his hands. "Pick it up."

"Fuck you." Buddy gritted his teeth.

"Are you fucking littering at my friend's house?"

"Your friend? He's my teammate! You only know him because you work at the fucking gym so you can—" Paine didn't even give him a second to finish. She grabbed the back of his neck and pinched where she knew would render him immobile. Buddy cried out in pain.

"I said." Paine easily brought him to his knees before the dropped flask that was bleeding rum. "Pick it up." Buddy was in agony, the pain shooting through his body was just too much. He reached a shaky hand out toward it but looked up at Paine when she kicked it a few feet away. Paine leaned down to his level and lessened her hold on his neck only to have him relax and tense up all over again when she squeezed the pressure points again. "You think I'm playing fucking games here?" It was clear to see that behind his agony Buddy was fuming. "Get mad." Paine taunted. She squeezed even harder at his neck and he began to wheez. "I'd kill for her, do you fucking understand that?" Buddy nodded quickly while coughing. "But she doesn't know that and I'd like to keep it that way." His coughing began to sound painful and that's when Paine released a bit of the pressure before letting go completely and standing. Buddy fell to his stomach in the wet glass of the huge backyard gasping for air like a fish out of water.

"You can hold onto that feeling." Paine picked up the flask and tossed the rest of the rum on Buddy's head before chucking the expensive holder an impressive distance into a neighboring yard. She looked down at him. " Because I swear it's the only thing you will be feeling if you continue to test my motherfucking patience." She leaned down to his level. "Do we have an understanding Brandon?" She grabbed his collar and shook it lightly. Buddy nodded quickly. Paine smiled feeling something akin to her old self seep in. "Pathetic." She dropped his collar and Buddy tried to say something. "Shut up." Paine stood and he cursed in Al Bhed. "I said shut the fuck up!"

"Aye."

Paine turned and pressed her lips together. "What?"

Nooj folded his arms and Wakka shook his head no. "Let's go Dr. P."

Paine dug her left heel into the ground in frustration but nodded. She looked back at Buddy found his muddied face. "Stay the fuck away from her." She reminded before turning and making her way over to her friends. There just came a time where she couldn't pretend to be something she wasn't.

"You okay?" Nooj asked. Paine just looked at him.

In the main foyer of the house Yuna's head was pressed against her ex boyfriend's chest as one of her favorite songs played.

She felt like she was going to throw up.

On her frantic search for Baralai she found the one person she didn't want to find, and how could she say no to dancing when he looked so sober and so well intended? Knowing just ten minutes she had Baralai Montgomery inside her.

Yuna felt sick.

"…And I just felt really bad about it so we're just gonna dance okay? We're just going to have a good time with our friends and—"

_Shut up, please shut up._

All of a sudden his scent was too strong and his voice way too close. She felt her stomach lurch and then her eyes close. "Just…"

"Yuna?" Tidus held her at arms length. "Are you gonna be sick?" Yuna nodded helplessly. "Alright alright." He pulled her close and quickly pushed passed everyone to get to a restroom.

The line at the bathroom was longer than usual but that didn't matter to Tidus. He gallantly pushed passed everyone and banged on the door.

"Rumt ouin lrulupuc! Vilg…"

Yuna lifted her head. She knew that squeaky voice anywhere. "Rikku!?"

"…Yunie?" The bathroom door flung open and Rikku appeared with one hand holding up her torn mini skirt while the other held onto the doorknob. The blonde woman reached out and grabbed her cousin before slamming the door closed again.

"Hey!" Tidus banged on the door again.

"Go away Teedus!" Rikku called.

"But—" The sound of Yuna getting sick made him knock again, this time softer. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No!"

##

"She's not gonna like it, but you know what I'm gonna tell her?" Paine slurred.

"What's that P?"

"Gonna tell her to go fuck herself."

"You're not gonna say dat." Wakka advised.

Paine nodded. "Mhm, I fuckin' am."

Wakka chuckled softly. "Just sit down Dr. P." He tried to sit her down on the front porch of the grand house.

"I'll sit down when I'm fucking ready." Nooj put a hand on her shoulder and literally sat her down. Paine ran her hands through her hair. "Ugh…" Somehow all the liquor she had consumed that night now decided to hit her. It probably had something to do with the adrenaline rush she got from going all Crenshaw on Buddy just now, or maybe it was the after effect of her medication from yesterday dragging on. Whatever the cause, the effect was a sloppy Paine Kerrigan.

"Here." Nooj handed her a cigarette and then laughed when Paine tried to light backwards. "I haven't seen you this drunk since your birthday last year." He lit it for her.

Paine took a few deep drags of nicotine and closed her eyes in efforts to try and gather her thoughts, nothing complex just the basics; her name was Paine, she was at a party…

Wakka plopped down beside her and soon Nooj followed on the other side. If they could keep her sitting nothing crazy would happen like they just witnessed. "Yeah I don't think that'd be wise. I mean she is your girlfriend's cousin…" Nooj pulled a ciggarello from his jacket pocket and lit it.

"Somethin' happened for Lai to freak out and just fucking leave…"

"Doesn't explain why you're in the backyard kickin' Buddy's ass ya?"

Paine exhaled her smoke in Nooj's face playfully then turned to Wakka. "He can go fuck himself too!"

##

Yuna felt her stomach calm after it had been emptied in the toilet most everyone had been using that night. The floor she was so close to resting her head on smelt like piss and ammonia. Her hair was sticking to her chin a little and her eyes were droopy. The only thing keeping her from wanting to cry was her even drunker baby cousin trying to sue a rip in her mini skirt back together with dental floss and a toothpick she found somewhere. The harder and more determined she tried the bigger the tear became and it was just about the funniest thing.

"I would tell you to ask Tidus to borrow some pants but…" She flushed the toilet and brought her back up against the tub next to her. "I have a sneaking s..suspicion that he's not going to want anything to do with me." Yuna said miserably as she pushed some of her hair out of her face.

"I'm gonna kill her…" Rikku muttered when the toothpick slipped again.

"Who?"

"Paine Kerrigan."

Yuna began to chuckle but was interrupted by the door being banged on by yet another inpatient party member who clearly didn't get the memo that this bathroom was now closed. "I don't want to know."

"She is such a guy sometimes ugh!" Rikku finally gave up and kicked out of the skirt leaving her in a pair of sexy black underwear. "A girl can't wear a mini skirt?..." Rikku began to mutter in Al Bhed but it was lost to the loud base of the current song being played outside.

Yuna sighed heavily. "We're both whores…"

##

"Is that her real name brudda?" Wakka asked over Paine who was off in her own little world leaning on his shoulder.

Nooj shrugged. "Is my real name Nooj?"

Wakka grew confused. "Yeah…Right?"

"Can't I just be with someone without y'know, having to subscribe to what society expects?"

"You gotta know her fucking name." Paine mumbled into the beefy left arm of her soon to be brother-in-law.

"What yuh gonna name yuh kids eh? Lil Cherish Leaf?" Wakka joked and then laughed when Paine snickered into his arm like the drunk girl she was.

"It's better than Vidina Mateo, Wha is he gonna to go back in time to become a crusader or something?" Nooj jabbed.

"Eh well ain't dat nice. At least my kid is alive."

"Surprised Lulu didn't eat him when he came out…" Paine added under her breath. Nooj laughed and Wakka jostled her head by shrugging his left shoulder up and down. "Ah! Fuck, stop." Paine pulled her head away. She was way too drunk for that.

"I thought you could hang Dr. P. What you have like two beers?"

"Fuck you Nooj, or whatever the hell your name is now." Paine waved him off and began to try and stand up.

"Whoa whoa." Wakka grabbed her arm. "Where you goin' huh?"

Paine pulled her hand away easily but the force of the action caused her to become off balanced."I'm gonna go find Gippal."

Wakka and Nooj exchanged looks.

For a brief moment sadness crossed her features, but Paine was able to pull herself together quickly. "Lai…Gonna go find Lai…" She began to walk off. "Cause he has a…"

"We should probably go after her right?"

Wakka nodded and the two stood.

##

"I mean all I wanted to do was come out—"

"Mhm." Rikku nodded.

"—Dance.."

"Mhm mhm…"

"..and just have a good time with all of you before we have to become adults. Y'know?" Yuna looked across at her cousin.

She and Rikku had somehow thought it would be a good idea to fill the bathtub up with warm water and get in fully clothed, well Rikku still hadn't fixed her skirt…

The blonde sluggishly ran her fingers along the warm surface. "I'm never gonna get out of school am I?" Yuna laughed and then hiccupped before nodding. "And Pai is never gonna be okay, and you're never gonna be over Tidus…and…and…" Rikku's eyes began to water. "Viddy is never gonna grow up."

Yuna found herself feeling very sad over that particular matter. "Can you imagine being a baby forever?"

"Pshhh." Rikku shook her head no. "We should be grateful."

Yuna cupped some water into her hands and washed at her face again. "Mm?"

"We can shop, and feed ourselves, and..and have sex, babies can't have sex, Yunie." Rikku nodded.

"This is all true." The brunette leaned her head back onto the cool tile wall. "Sex isn't that—"

"You're only saying that because Tidus is like a blind person at Bingo and Lai well…he isn't Tidus."

Yuna didn't know why she found that analogy so funny but she did, and so did Rikku, and for a moment all was well as the two drunk friends laughed and splashed.

They didn't know how much time had passed, but eventually the water got cold, and they grew tired and groggy.

"You think anyone will notice me walking outta here with no pants on Yunz?" Rikku slurred quietly as they empted the tub and tried to dry off with the hand towels.

"Should I say something to him?"

"To Teedus?" Yuna nodded. "What would you say?"

Yuna shrugged. "I don't know. I doubt Baralai will speak to me after what happened."

"Well you only said another guys name, no big deal." Rikku shrugged and tried to give her cousin a reassuring smile.

"Maybe it's like holding a bowl of soup, a real full one. Maybe if you just keep looking forward no one will notice that you're about to drop it."

Rikku squinted and looked down at her skirt, or more or less what was left of it. "I think you're right." Rikku went to go step into it. "Maybe Pypo can talk to him.."

"Mm I don't know." Yuna shook her head and glanced at herself in the mirror. If her mother could see her now. "What's with him and Paine anyway?"

Rikku finished shimmying into her skirt and was holding the ripped edges together with one hand. "What do you mean?"

Yuna shrugged and tugged gently on the long braid that usually followed her wherever she went. It was soaked. "They just seem like they have a story."

Rikku sighed."Paine has a lot of those…"

"Hm?"

"Stories."

Yuna turned to face Rikku."Don't you wonder?"

Rikku nodded but then shrugged at The same time. "Sometimes, sometimes no not at all." Rikku sniffled. "She'd tell me y'know… if I ask."

"But you don't." Yuna nodded getting their relationship a little better now.

"Do you have to know every single thing about a person's past to know their heart? It takes one meeting and then, there, you know. I know my pypo."

Yuna smiled. "Oui cuiht mega knyhtsy."

Rikku smiled back." Hu! Tu E?" Yuna nodded with a little laugh at the horror on Rikku's face. "Famm drah ed'c tavehedamo desa du kad uid uv rana."

##

"Oh thank machina we found yo—" Rikku stopped herself. "Where's Paine?"

Wakka and Nooj exchanged looks. "We lost her…"

"You lost her?" Yuna asked as she looked around. The sooner they left the sooner she would be able to not have to explain anything to Tidus. The four friends were standing in the kitchen and this was a sure spot to be spotted.

"Well—"

"She's not a puppy! Ruf luimt oui ryja mucd ran!?" All Rikku wanted to do was go home and put pants on, that's all she wanted.

Neither Wakka nor Nooj understood Al Bhed. "She was right here a moment ago…"

"Did you try calling her?"

There was a concept.

Rikku grabbed her clutch from inside the bread holder where she had hid it. She pulled out her phone and hit a speed dial.

"Hellllooooo?"

"Pypo?"

"Princessesss."

Rikku couldn't help but laugh. "Where are you?"

"Where ever you want me to be."

"The kitchen."

"Ah that's fucking far…"

"Paine!"

"Calm down shit, I was getting a soda."

Rikku furrowed her brows. "A soda?"

"At the corner store."

"Paine the nearest corner store is like three miles away."

"I told you the kitchen was far…"

"Alright well just wait there."

"I'm cold."

"I'll bring your jacket."

"Okay…wait right here?"

"Yeah just stay where ever you are." She motioned for them to head towards the entrance. Yuna grabbed her purse for its hiding spot and was about to follow right after Rikku when Tidus grabbed her arm gently. He wore a somewhat disappointed look on his face but was holding his blitz thermal out for her.

"You're all wet." He explained over the music.

Yuna smiled. "Thank you. I um, can get it back to you later." He nodded and then stuffed his hands in his pockets. Was it just him or had she spent the entire party trying to avoid him?

"Night."

##

"I love you."

Rikku almost hadn't heard it.

The morning's song was faint, the air coming from the open car window refreshing against her tired features even though she were shivering. She was busy trying to decide if she had fun or not when she heard the quiet confession come from the spot on her lap.

Rikku smiled softly and ran a hand through the smoky raven hair to see her face properly.

Paine's naked auburn eyes looked up at Rikku's in the dark.

There was just something about her gaze that filled the blonde's heart. "Really?" She whispered back in a joke.

Paine exhaled and nodded as she closed her eyes. "Yeah." It was even fainter than before. Rikku leaned down and kissed her pale cheek.

"I love you too Paine." She leaned back in her seat and watched as sleep or something akin to it took Paine off and quieted her breathing. She had never seen Paine as drunk as she was when they finally found each other at the end of the night. It would have been a little funny if she weren't soaked or constantly having to hold her skirt together.

Wakka was driving them home since Baralai was still nowhere to be found and probably was not sober enough anyway. Up ahead in the front seats Yuna and Wakka were talking quietly amongst themselves about Tidus, or Lulu, or Besaid, or one of the many coincidental things they had in common with each other.

Eventually they made it to the Heights. Wakka pulled up in front of Rikku's house where the rustling of the trees overhead created a soothing whistling noise to accompany the morning birds. "C'mon Pai, this is our stop." Rikku shook Paine gently and her girlfriend woke abruptly. "I'm sorry." She said when she realized how that must have felt. "C'mon."

"Night you two." Wakka waved.

"I'll be sure to tell Lulu how amazing you are in the morning." Rikku smiled and then looked to her cousin."Brunch?"

Yuna nodded. "Brunch."

Rikku smiled and nudged Paine gently who was about to fall asleep while standing at her side. "Bye." The taller woman muttered.

Both Wakka and Yuna laughed a little and said their final goodbyes before taking off up the street to Yuna's home.

##

Cid Bayla opened the door and squinted. "Yuna?"

"Is Rikku up yet?" The brunette croaked.

It was around noon and Yuna had tried to be productive when she woke up an hour before by washing and taking Kimahri for a walk, but all she really wanted to do was lay down and feel sorry for herself. This whole situation was just a sticky mess and she was ready to resolve it, take her finals, graduate, say goodbye to probably the only boy she had ever really loved, and get on with her life.

Cid nodded and opened the front door more to let her and her four legged companion in. "Fun night?" He asked carefully as he watched Yuna's eyes behind her sunglasses.

"Something like that." Yuna nodded as she took off her sandals by the door. She motioned to the stairs. "Their awake?"

"Well I hear the TV on so I assume so, yes."

"Thank you Uncle."

Cid nodded and watched as his niece slowly climbed the stairs. Kimahri sat at the bottom level and looked up at Cid curiously before following Yuna.

"Come in!"

Yuna pushed the door open to Rikku's bright room to find her cousin in long pastel yellow pajama bottoms and a white v-neck that was a little loose on her. Her hair was all tied up and clipped back from her puffy face and she was sitting with her back to the headboard with her laptop on her lap and the glass container of jelly beans that usually sat in the kitchen on her nightstand. Yuna chuckled softly and so did Rikku. "kunkauic."

"Oh hush." Yuna shook her head and finally took off her shades. "Ugh." She dragged her feet to the bed and paused. "Paine?"

Rikku leaned to the seemingly empty right side of the bed on her left and pulled the covers down revealing Paine lying motionless face down into the pillow, she was clad in a white tank top and what looked to be gray flannel lady boxers. Her usually styled hair was free of product and sick with bed head. She was asleep. "I told her she could suffocate herself sleeping like that and she told me she was planning on it." Rikku smiled fondly before covering her body and head back up with the soft comforter. "Sit sit." She motioned to the vast open space on the queen sized bed.

Yuna plopped herself down on her stomach at the base of the bed. "Well death would be an easy way out of this hang over wouldn't it?"

Rikku only nodded. "I'll check on her again in an hour."

Yuna lifted her head and looked about the room. All the windows were open, the tv was on, Rikku was doing something on her laptop that would make a cute little bleep blooping noise every other second. No wonder Paine had created a little cave for herself. This was just too much stimulation. Yuna laid her head face down herself and closed her eyes. "Why are you always hang over immune?"

Rikku paused her game. "I feel like someone ripped out my brain and replaced it with pudding."

"That's not how it always feels?"

"No Yunie. Gosh no one is ever around when you abuse me." She reached her hand back into the jar of jelly beans.

"Paine?"

"I'm pretty sure she's dead."

"Kimmi?"

"He's a dog, dogs can't be used in a court of law."

"Guess no one will ever know." Yuna picked her head up and patted the bed. Kimahri jumped up on it and curled his body up around her head for her to use as a pillow. "Good boy." Yuna sighed into the dog shampooed smelling fur.

Rikku's game resumed and for about a half hour all that could be heard was the made for tv movie on the Liftetime channel and the bleep blooping.

"I have to apologize to him…"

"Who?" Rikku looked up.

"Baralai."

"Well…I don't know how well that would go. Saying sorry for sex kinda seems…" Rikku shrugged.

"I'm not saying sorry for the sex, that was…nice."

"Nice?"

"Yes nice."

"Like do it again nice?"

Yuna turned her head sideways to look at Rikku. "Rikku."

"What!?"

"I can't. I couldn't."

"Well why not?"

"Because I'm in love with Tidus, as crazy as it seems I still love him, that's how this happened in the first place."

"Well what were you thinking when you and Lai were um…fooling around?"

"Yevon." Yuna buried her face back into Kimahri's side. "I was…I was drunk."

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure?"

"Yeah I mean…you couldn't have been that drunk, you weren't drunk enough to make sure he wore a condom, and not just any condom, those pig skin ones."

Yuna laughed despite herself. "They're not made of pig skin Rikku."

"Well whatever they are made of. I think you like Lai."

"Well of course I like him, he's sweet, and handsome…and "

"Good in bed apparently."

"I wish I had something to throw at you."

Rikku laughed a little and then touched her face because even that hurt. "Oh Yunie I think all this needs is a band-aid."

"If only they had such things..and then what do I say to Tidus?"

"Oh nothing, you say nothing."

"But I feel like I cheated on him or something."

"That's impossible, you guys aren't together remember?"

"Right because he broke up with me…"

"Right."

Yuna rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. "So if you and Paine were to break up, and Paine slept with someone else you wouldn't feel hurt?"

"Not if I didn't know."

"Rikku."

"Okay okay… yeah I would be hurt but…what would that solve y'know? Especially since if she did that I'd kill her."

Yuna sighed.

"And plus Paine isn't leaving in a month Yunie."

"Yeah I know."

"So I know what you are saying but really I don't think there is much you can do…"

"I don't want to give him false hope y'know?" She glanced at Rikku who nodded in turn."I don't want him to think that because this happened…because I said his name while having sex with someone else that it means everything will be alright."

"So you love him but…?"

"But I don't know if we can be together like we were."

"So then I think you guys need to have another talk because last night it seemed…"

"I'm done having talks. Why do I have to be the rational one who has to initiate talking. Why does everyone run from me?"

"You are intimidating."

"Am I really?"

"Well…In a good way."

"Explain."

Rikku sighed and closed her laptop. "Well you're Yunie Shaw, y'know? Anyone who knows anything about anything knows you're like a hybrid Bayla or something." Yuna laughed. "I'm serious! You seem as though you have everything together, and anyone who just happens to be a part of your plan or fall in your path is lucky, and they know they are."

"You make me sound like the High Summoner."

"Well I mean who were you named after?"

"I wonder if my father knew he was dooming me to eternal praise when he gave me that name."

Rikku chuckled. "Probably not."

"I feel like everyone thinks I can never do anything wrong, when clearly I can."

Rikku frowned. "Believe it or not this kind of thing happens all the time. You're not less of a Yunie because of it. You're just a bit more human than everyone expected."

Yuna smiled. "Who knew." Rikku smiled back."I think the thing that made it so bad was how fast he left…how he seemed.." Yuna shook her head. "I don't know."

"Well his ego was killed for sure."

"I know, I feel terrible."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was…I don't know. I wasn't thinking about Tidus or anything it just…it came out because I suppose that's what I was used to saying?"

"Do you think?"

'I don't know." Yuna rubbed her head. "I just know that I need to make that right before anything."

"So I mean…you two were totally gonna do it. There had to be a talk anyway, expectations and all."

"Yeah I know."

"Hm."

Another two hours passed and finally the two realized that if they planned on living to see their graduation they needed to eat something. They decided on Eveready diner for some bad coffee and greasy french fries.

"Pypo, Ed'c desa du fyga ib fa'na kuehk du kad cusa vuut." Rikku said as she tried to wake her girlfriend out of her comatose sleep. "Ib ib, l'suh, oui lyh'd cmaab ymm tyo mega drec."

"Leave me alone." Paine groaned into the pillow.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No."

"Now I know that's a lie." Rikku got out of bed and rolled her eyes. Yuna only chuckled at the scene as she tried to locate her sunglasses. "I'm turning the shower on for you!" The blonde called from inside the bathroom.

"You don't need to fucking yell." Came from the pillow Paine still had her face in. Although she was so ready for more sleep the prospect of actually eating something was tempting enough to roll her onto her back and swing her legs over the side of the bed. Paine found her balance and then looked up and actually blushed when she realized Yuna was in the room as well. She knew she looked like hell, and she wasn't even weaning a bra.

Yuna chuckled."Well good morning."

Paine cleared her throat and then sniffled when she felt cool liquid in her nose. She covered her nose when it began to drip. "Morning." She nodded before making her way into the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Rikku asked just as she was about to leave the small steamy area. "Nose bleed?" Paine nodded and waited till Rikku left and closed the door before taking off her tank top and grabbing her toothbrush and stepping under the warm water.

##

YRP sat in a booth near a window eating their brunch, which at this point could be considered a very early dinner. Paine had ordered a frittata with waffle fries and bacon. Rikku a grilled cheese with tomato and peppers, a side of eggs scrambled and a bloody mary, and Yuna ordered a stack of blueberry pancake home-frIes topped with hollandaise and a side of sausage with a bloody mary as well.

They were all wearing their sunglasses.

"What do you think Pypo?" Rikku asked the woman at her side who hadn't said a word aside from ordering.

Paine looked to her right at Rikku behind her shades."What?" She reached for her coffee.

"About plans for graduation. Uncle B wants to have a dinner with all of us."

Paine shrugged behind her mug. "I think we're going to do something at the house, y'know since Gippal will be out by then and Em get's her M.D 'round the same time."

"Oh that's right." Rikku nodded. "Dr. Mennechey, I bet she's excited." Paine nodded.

"If you'll both excuse me for a moment. Restroom." Yuna stood and made her way toward the back of the restaurant.

Paine went back to eating. "Hey." She looked up. "You okay?" Rikku asked.

"I'm hung over as shit." Paine shook her head."Sorry if talking about graduation plans isn't something that excites me."

"Ah alright then grumpy." Rikku shook her head. "What do you want to talk about then?"

Paine gathered her eggs and a piece of a waffle fry on a fork before dapping in the hot sauce and ketchup on the corner of her plate. "Nothing." She took a bite.

"How is your tummy feeling?" She had gotten sick last night.

Paine sighed. "Fine."

"What about—"

"Are you going to nag me all breakfast?" Paine asked giving her a look.

"Only if you're going to be all grumpy."

"I just want to eat and leave. Don't care who slept with who, who said who's name, I don't give a fuck." Paine stated matter of factually.

"So you'll do some reconnaissance work for me then?"

Paine groaned."Baby."

"Well we need to know what's going on with Lai. You're the only person he'll talk to."

Paine sighed and reached for her mug. "I have to take care of things today."

"Like what? The day is pretty much over." It was already around four.

"Like none of your business." Paine had to chuckle at the look Rikku was giving her. "That's right, so back off and let me eat my eggs, woman."

"Alright well you know what Ms. Kerrigan you do what you need to do then."

"Thank you." Paine took a sip of her coffee.

"just don't call me when you get bored."

"I won't."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Great."

"Swell."

"Are you two fighting again?" Yuna asked when she returned.

"Yes.""No." The two said in unison. Yuna laughed and sat down across from them.

"Paine did you see that the schedule changed and you have a fitting tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow for when?"

"Mid week luncheon show. Nothing big but I just got a text from Luke to remind all of the models."

"Ooh for summer?" Rikku asked and Yuna nodded excitedly.

"I got to see some of the stuff last week."

"This reminds me that we have to…" Paine just drowned them out once they started talking about sundresses and parasols. Now that she had food in her system she could better remember the events of last night and their potential repercussions.

She didn't know what came over her, even now as she sat in the shabby diner miles away from Tidus's backyard she could still feel that power, and how good it felt to bring that dickhead to his knees like it was nothing. Paine exhaled heavily and stood up from the table to make it to the restroom in time to throw up everything she had just eaten.

It was like a sickness her body was trying to rid her of, and all the therapy in the world couldn't help with how empty she felt once she moved to wash her hands and face at the sink. She had to learn how to fill that void, and she was, but damn it was difficult, especially with alcohol involved.

Paine shook her head at herself in the mirror. If she wanted what she thought she did then things like last night couldn't just happen. She almost proposed to her girlfriend for fucks sake. There was a way to do things and this was not one of them, she had a plan, a ring, a savings account. Paine exhaled and splashed her face one more time before heading out into the dining room. She took a quiet seat at the table where Rikku and Yuna were still talking and began to nibble on the complimentary toast that came with her breakfast combo. When the check came Paine reached into her pockets and paid for them before standing and grabbing Rikku's jacket for her.

Yuna had to run and find her call log to inform the rest of the models of the change leaving Paine and Rikku to decide to go on a little walk together. Rikku smiled when about a half block in Paine took her hand.

"You didn't have to do that you know."

"Do what?"

"Pay for Yunie and I."

Paine shook her head lightly as they continued down the semi busy street that would eventually plant them in front of their school, and from there it was only a matter of maneuvering past one large house right after the other till they reached Rikku's. "Well I did."

"Thank you."

Paine looked to her right down at Rikku. "Welome."

"Your hands are clammy."

"Are they?" Paine pulled her hand out of Rikku's and wiped it on her leather jacket before taking her hand again.

"You drank a lot last night. I was worried."

Paine nodded knowing very well the position she put herself in. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I wasn't the best influence."

"No pants and all…"

Rikku chuckled and then let go of Paine's hand so she could loop her arms around her right arm and lean against her much like she did the first time they had ever hung out in the city. "That wasn't exactly my fault.."

"Right blame it on me."

"Well who else am I going to blame it on?"

Paine smiled. "That's actually a really good question." They continued walking for a few blocks without saying much. Rikku could sense something was on Paine's mind, but she hated being the one to always have to push. Sometimes she wanted Paine to just open up on her own. "What are you gonna do now?"

"When I get home?"

"Mhm."

"I was going to study or something but I don't think I can now. Too much on my mind."

"Yeah?" Rikku nodded against her arm. "Like what?"

"Well Yunie for one, she's all bent outta shape, makes me kinda sad. Then I have to think about school and what's that going to be like. I don't know Pai I just feel like I have a long list of things to think about. Thinking about things isn't like y'know doing chores, you never know when you are going to be done and sometimes you get side tracked with other thoughts."

"So then don't think about anything."

"This coming from you." She teased.

Paine shrugged. "Yeah I guess I kinda can't say anything."

"Nope."

Some time passed.

"Do you want to go out on a date with me Rikks?"

Rikku chuckled at how cute she sounded asking her out as if they hadn't been a thing for nearly eleven months now. "Sure Pypo when?"

"Now."

"Now?" Paine nodded. "I look like crap."

"You look beautiful."

Rikku rolled her eyes but blushed all in the same. "I told you can't spend money on me until graduation and you already broke that rule several times."

Paine shook her head. "Are you going out with me or what?"

"Paine." Rikku whined. "If I say no…"

"We're breaking up." Paine feigned seriousness. She grinned when she got a mini glare for that one. "Alright if not tonight then graduation night, come out with me."

Rikku smiled. "Aw, you planned that."

Paine nodded knowing very well her girlfriend wouldn't want to go out because she felt like crap and felt like she looked like crap. Paine had decided in the bathroom at Eveready that she really needed to stop acting like every little thing she did made her a bad person. She deserved to be happy and no one made her happy like Rikku Bayla did. She had already taken the greatest plunge in purchasing the ring, a part of her wondered what she was waiting for. She knew better than anyone else that tomorrow was never a given, and in the next week things would only begin to get more complicated with Rikku getting ready for graduate school and her trying to wrestle down a full time job. "Maybe."

"Are you trying to be romantic?" Rikku teased.

Paine nodded almost shyly.

"Aw, course we'll have special time, just you and me."

Paine nodded. "Kinda a big week coming up."

"You're now realizing this?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah actually."

"Is this why you seem… off?"

Paine looked back at her. "I'm just anxious babe." That was the truth, but also a very simplified interpretation.

"Well who's gonna calm me down when I start to freak out?"

Paine laughed a little and shimmied her right arm out of Rikku's two arm grasp so she could put it around her shoulders. "We'll be freaking out together. Two crazies."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

##

"I'm sorry." "I need to apologize."

They smiled unsurely.

"I shouldn't have just…left like that, without an explanation or any sort of…"

He hadn't shaved. The rough stubble suited him.

Yuna reached across the table surprising even herself. "I messed up."

Baralai looked down at her hand on top of his and then looked up at Yuna. "I forgive you if you forgive me."

Yuna eased against her seat. Was it really this easy? "I forgive you." Lai smiled gently and Yuna found herself smiling back. "Do you…have somewhere to be right now?"

"No, nowhere."

She nodded. "Good because I owe you an explanation, I just was—"

"Or." Lai held up his hand. "Or we could just have coffee?"

Yuna paused. "Um..but I—"

Lai shook his head. "Yuna you don't need to explain yourself to me. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you needed to." He ran a hand through his snowy hair. "Some things are out of our control or I guess in it." He shook his head. "Anyway I think the conversation you want to have should be with someone else, not me."

Yuna just sat there a little surprised. She shook her head with a chuckle. "I prepared a speech…"

"So did I. How'd it work?"

Yuna exhaled feeling a bit of weight off her shoulders. "Very well." She laughed. "Too well."

##

Paine glanced up from her textbook at the swaying hips of the shorter blonde.

She was taking a study break to clean her room and since Paine was still studying she had her headphones in her ears and was humming cutely as she moved.

Paine shook her head and looked back at her book only to be looking up a second later when she noticed Rikku was bending over to reach a scarf on the ground. She unconsciously licked her lips, but was soon pulled out of the trance when someone cleared their throat. Paine almost broke her neck with how quickly she snapped up to see Cid Bayla giving her a very disapproving look from the doorway.

Rikku pulled an ear bud out of her ear completely unaware of what just happened. "Hey Pop."

"Your grandmother is on the phone for you."

"Oh alright." She quickly pulled off her mp3 player and tossed it on her bed with Paine before running off.

"So." Cid tried.

Paine cleared her throat. "Sir."

"How are things kid?" Cid took a step into the room and Paine sat up on the bed. "The apartment, how's the apartment?"

Paine nodded. "Good."

"Trent?"

She nodded again. "Good."

"You and Milan?"

She nodded a third time and Cid had to admit it was a little amusing how she got when he was around. "Good."

"Good." Cid nodded.

Silence

"Listen I know that things have been…different around here but I just wanted to let you know that you are always welcome here." He felt really bad when he overheard Rikku on the phone with Paine talking to her about it.

"Thank you."

"Right, course. Milan has made up her mind and I will admit to being a little surprised about it I think she'll do wonderful."

"Me too."

"Right."

Paine bit her lip when Cid moved to leave. "Cid?"

He turned. "Paine?"

"Rikku she's… she's not that mad at you." Their eyes met and she nodded. "She's just trying to stand her ground but uh, she's really not that mad…."

"She can be difficult to read at times."

"I know, trust me."

Cid nodded. "I suppose I should hm? Eleven months and you haven't lost any hair. You've already got me beat. When she turned one I just shaved it all off."

Paine wanted to chuckle but didn't.

"POP!" Rikku called from the first level. "Cra'c nayto vun oui!" Her footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs.

"I'd better go." Cid nodded. "Thank you though." He smiled Rikku's smile and that's when Paine realized she had smiled first thus opening the gentle nonverbal communication.

Cid left the room right as Rikku walked and jumped onto the bed with her. "She was saying that she and her boyfriend are fighting. How cute is that Pai?" Rikku tilted her head. "Why are you all smiley?" She looked down at the textbook with boring formulas.

"Huh?" Paine asked when she finally focused on Rikku. "I'm not all smiley."

"Yeah you are, you look like you're planning something..." Rikku smiled a little. "Like you're 'bout to do something you know I'm not gonna like."

Paine shook her head and returned her gaze to her textbook. "I thought you weren't going to talk to me while I'm studying."

"Ah true." Rikku sat up. "Sorry Dr.P." Paine peeked up at her as she went to grab her mp3 player again. She waited till her headphones were in and music was playing with her back to her before smiling again.

**AN: My holiday gift to you! Hope you enjoyed it and are looking forward for more. Tell me what you think. I can't stress enough how reviews help me write. **

**Happy Holidays!**

**KathleenDee**


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter Sixty**

"You wanted to see me boss?" Paine asked after sticking her head into the small admin offices at the rec center mid week. She had a final in less than thirty minutes and then had to go pick up a cap and gown. If this was just going to be another talk about learning how to effectively communicate without yelling or cursing then she was sure it could wait.

Simone Dinwiddie was a tall Kilikan woman with bright eyes and soft features. In all of Paine's time working for her she never seemed to get upset ever. Maybe it was all the yoga she did. Anyway she had taken a liking to Paine and helped her create the lesson plan she was leaving behind for the new trainers.

"Please have a seat Paine."

Paine pulled the rest of her body into the room and took a seat on one of the hard backed chairs in the office. "What's up?"

Simone closed the files she was looking at and clasped her hands on the desk. "We've been working together for quite some time now no?"

Paine nodded. "Almost two years."

She nodded back. "And besides the interpersonal issues you have proven to be quite the professional. Prompt, knowledgeable, an all around employee in my opinion."

"Thank you."

"Graduation is coming up soon though. You must have so many plans."

Paine nodded. She was a little unsure of where this was going. "As far as life goes I guess I do."

"How did those interviews go downtown, did you like the facilities?"

Paine nodded. "Pretty awesome stuff but uh, they are only looking for someone with more one on one personal training experience."

Simone nodded as if she already knew the answer. "I'm sure you'll get it, and then once that happens everyone this side of Spira will be coming to be trained by you."

Paine shrugged humbly.

"What are you doing for work until you land the dream job?"

Paine coughed. "Modeling."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Modeling."

"Oh." Simone smiled a little. "How lovely." She felt like she knew so much and then knew so little about the young woman in front of her. "Well I hope that you do great things."

"Thanks." Paine glanced at the clock. "Um…"

"I won't keep you much longer, I just thought I would let you know that one of them contacted me. The one in Bridgeport?"

"Oh wow…" It was one of the ones that hadn't gotten in contact with her after the initial interview. She had thought that all was lost. "They did?"

Simone nodded. "I just thought I would give you a heads up that they sound very interested. They were asking me very specific questions about your work here."

"When did they call?"

"Over the weekend, but I wasn't here so I returned the call this morning. I just got off the phone with them."

"Anything good?"

"They are going to contact you. Either for a second interview or to offer you the position, you should be very proud of yourself. This is a very nice facility.

##

Paine waved Rikku over from her spot leaning against the smoking gazebo outside the gym. They were going to meet up to collect their cap and gowns together, eat lunch, and then head their separate ways to do their evening finals. Paine left the rec center earlier that morning forgetting why she had went there before her first exam anyway; she had to pick up her last check. Just as Paine was leaving the gym though she got a call from a man named Gabe from the Bridgeport Health and Wellness Studios, there was a round of physical work-out interviews coming up and Paine was giving him her information.

Rikku approached looking cute in her frumpy Finals Week clothes and her hair tied up. It was Wednesday and she still had the bulk of her essays to write and two more finals.

"Yes…mhm, alright I'll be there then. Yes…Paine…yeah just with an E…Okay, bye." Paine hung up and exhaled happily. "No kiss?" She pretended to pout which made Rikku's frown disappear as she leaned closer and kissed her in greeting. "You alright?" Paine slipped her cell phone into her pocket with one hand and rubbed Rikku's shoulder with the other.

"Just came back from my architecture final."

"Didn't go well?"

"That's like the biggest understatement ever Pai." The two began to walk side by side toward the Administration building where on the first floor they were handing seniors their cap and gowns for the graduation next week. "I forgot my student number."

"For the scan-tron?"

"I started putting in my social but then I realized I was wrong and had to erase it but then I remembered I left my eraser in my car, so then I was going to ask for one but this was the exact moment my professor decided to turn into a booger and not let me erase it till the very very end, so all through the test all I could think about was how they'd get my exam mixed up with some baby puncher who never shows up to class, and he'd get the A and I'd fail…"

"Baby puncher?"

Rikku sighed with obvious frustration. "Pai." she whined complete with stomping her foot softly. "Listen to me and feel sorry for me."

"I am, I do." Paine chuckled.

"Anyway…"

"It's alright you probably did amazing, and even if you didn't well you've been getting good grades all semester."

"Yeah." Rikku shrugged. "Still wanted to do well in this one though." She sighed heavily as if brushing it all aside. "So, why are you all optimistic all of a sudden huh? What happened to last night?"

"Last night?"

Rikku stopped and grabbed Paine's arm, she looked up at her with wide eyes and a trembling lip. "Baby, will you still love me if I fail?"

Paine rolled her eyes and pulled her arm back. "Shut up." She laughed along with Rikku as they continued to walk again. "And that's not how I sound."

"You were really having a moment."

"Yeah well this final I had after meeting with Simone was bullshit, I understand one or two trick questions, in fact, I expected it, but the whole test, really?"

Rikku rubbed her girlfriend's arm. "Aw I'm sure my little bookworm did just fine."

Paine shook her head but smiled a bit at the contact. "Anyway I have another job interview."

"Really! When?"

"Next week."

"Where?"

"Bridgeport Studios."

"Oh but…didn't you already interview there?"

Paine nodded a bit surprised that she remembered. "Call back for the physical portion."

Rikku leaned into her a bit as they walked. Paine could tell she wanted to hug her or kiss her or something else but they had grown accustomed to keeping the PDA on campus down to a minimal peck before or after class or the occasional hug. "That's so awesome Pypo." Her smile was proud, it made Paine smile back.

"Well I didn't get it yet."

"But you will because you're like a gym whore."

Paine furrowed her brows. "Thanks?"

"I mean like you're always there."

Paine shrugged. "Not lately, which is bad, I need to prepare for this thing."

"So what does the interview constitute of?" They found the long line of seniors and got in it. Luckily for them it was moving relatively fast.

"It varies."

"Well like what?"

"Boot camp style, like basic cardio, strength training, technique, and I'm sure a specialty portion."

"Oh well you got that in the bag Ms second steve."

"dan."

"Huh?"

Paine chuckled. "I'm a second dan black belt babe, not a second steve."

Rikku giggled. "Oh. Well you know what I was talking about."

"Mm."

"So you go and you'll blow them away and then we'll go and get drinks." Paine winced. "Or we'll just go out to eat or something." Rikku chuckled. She had made a full recovery from the party last weekend, but Paine was still having trouble even hearing the word alcohol or any that implied it. "It'll be on you."

Paine nodded liking the idea a lot. "That noodle place we went to on that anniversary."

"Oh yes, that'd be perfect." The moved up in line some. "So I saw Buddy today."

Paine looked at Rikku quickly. "Yeah?"

"He saw me right? Then took off in a completely other direction. I mean actually started walking faster and almost knocked into some girl."

Paine smiled internally. "Oh?"

"So I was thinking this could only be a product of your work. What happened at the party?"

They moved up some more. "We had a talk."

"You broke his nose."

"Well that was from before."

Rikku shook her head at the little smile on Paine's face. "Paine Amelia Kerrigan."

"Princess I thought a lot about this alright?"

"Oh you did, did you?"

"Yes, I did." They moved up again. "I'm not wrong and you know it."

"I do?"

Paine nodded. "You're my girlfriend, he was bothering you, now he isn't. Can we just leave it at that?"

Rikku placed a hand on Paine's forearm. "I just don't want you getting yourself into trouble, there is a fine line you know."

Paine nodded fully understanding the reality of it. She had spent all her free time since the party wondering if Buddy would actually say or do anything. She couldn't afford it if he did, and she knew she had made a mistake, but she'd do it again. Hell yeah she would. "I know." She felt Rikku squeeze her arm gently before letting go.

"Alright good." The table was now in sight. "Are you wearing heels on graduation day?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know. What are we supposed to wear under it anyway?"

"Like a dress or—" Paine groaned. "Ah will it kill you Paine? Will it really?"

Paine laughed. "It might."

"You worse a dress at your last show. The red one?"

"Yes but people were paying me, and I only wore it for like a half a minute."

"You are the worst best model ever."

"I'm wearing slacks." Paine decided just then.

"I'm still thinking about what to wear…" Rikku prodded her fingers on her lips in thought. "Pop will have to give me some money to buy a new dress…."

"How's that working on being independent thing going anyway?" Paine laughed when she got a playful shove from Rikku.

"This is the last thing…unless of course he got me a graduation present."

"Aren't you mad at him?"

"We've been over this. I'm just avoiding him." They were next. "And I've actually been saving Pypo, you'd be proud."

"I already am Ri, graduate school is big."

"Orientation this weekend. Are you sure you can't come with?"

"I have my doctor's appointments remember? Plus you should do it on your own, it'd be good."

Rikku understood why, but actually doing it was another thing all together. She was glad Paine was so supportive though. "Well I'll be texting you stuff."

Paine nodded and then approached the table. "Paine Kerrigan." The elderly admin staff rifled through the plastic graduation sacks until she came across one with Paine's name on it.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you." Paine tucked it under her arm and steeped aside for Rikku.

"Rikku Bayla."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

They walked away from the table while Rikku examined the clear packages.

"It's actually happening." Paine nodded to herself giving the area a nostalgic sort of glance. It was probably her last time on this end of the campus. She remembered when she first started going here. No one would say it but she knew they didn't believe she would actually finish. In a lot of ways NLU was her first step in recovery.

"This is such a pretty blue." Rikku pushed her packages against her girlfriend. "Look how nice this blue is."

"It's blue, yes."

"I have to do my nails, go and get my hair done…" Rikku shook her head at the list of things that had to be in order next week. "Hey what's that?" Rikku pointed to a white ribbon like sash peeking out in Paine's package.

Paine glanced at it. "It's probably my _cum laude_ sash."

"Aw pypo." Rikku smiled at her. "Look what you did, aren't you proud?"

"Not when I could have had _magna cum laude_."

"Oh no, was it that lab?"

Paine chuckled. "No."

"Well you did so well in Organic chemistry…" A sad look crossed her features. "Was it failing Auron's class?"

Paine shook her head. "No."

"Well then what was it? How come you didn't get it?"

Paine shrugged. "It doesn't matter now that I think about it."

She furrowed her brows. "Why?"

Paine smiled. "Cause I got you out of it all."

Rikku made a face. "Are you blaming your short comings on me?"

Paine laughed. "Yevon I was trying to be sweet."

"Try again."

"That blue is going to look so good on you baby."

Rikku laughed loving how Paine never missed a beat. "Much much better."

##

The heavy hand banging on the door yanked both young women out of their studying zone. It was Wednesday night, and they had been studying on their own yet together for at least three hours. Rikku had just finished an essay and was delving into a book on deed law. Paine was looking at case studies on amputees. Paine's bed was littered with books, papers, highlighters and the occasion mini candy bar wrapper.

Paine gave Rikku the universal look that meant stay put before coming off the bed and reaching for her baseball bat that was leaned up behind the bedroom door. Rikku watched with worry. It was around eleven at night and it was obvious Paine wasn't expecting anyone.

Paine adjusted the wood in her right hand before approaching the door and looking through the peephole. She rolled her eyes and relaxed her stance before opening it.

"Do I look like an idiot to you?" Lai asked as he pushed his way in.

Paine nodded and swung the bat gently against the ground. "Yeah, little bit. Where'd you get that sweater?"

Baralai rolled his eyes and looked down at it. "My mother got this for me."

Paine chuckled but then stopped when he gave her a rare look of annoyance. "What happened? You guys talked right?"

He nodded. "Oh yeah. Which is why I'm asking you if I look like an idiot to you?"

"Banging on my door at eleven something at night? Yeah, you do. Why are you all sweaty?" Paine realized the sheen on his tan forehead and took a step back to better examine him. "You just…Yeah you are a fucking idiot." Paine grew serious when she realized what she realized.

Lai adjusted his shirt. "I needed to talk to you about…"

"One time wasn't enough!?"

"That doesn't even count!"

Paine ran her free hand through her hair. "You just got back from her house didn't you?" Baralai shook his head quickly. "Shiva you are more than an idiot. You're like….you're a Gippal!"

Rikku raised a brow at that one from her spot on the bed in Paine's room. That was a good one.

The bedroom door was pulled in but not quite closed and from the sounds of it Paine had forgotten that she was in and Lai didn't know.

They were arguing.

Baralai and Paine

They never argued. At least not in front of everyone.

Rikku couldn't help but listen in. It was such a rare thing to hear. Paine really sounded upset, and Baralai, well he sounded upset too, the oddest thing though is that his anger wasn't placed on Paine, not outright. She couldn't help feel that they were dancing around something.

"Since when did you start liking pussy anyway?" Paine demanded. Both Rikku's brows shot up at that one and she whispered a quiet "Ooohh." Yeah, it was clear Paine had forgotten about her.

Lai shook his head at her. "Ah you know what you'd know a whole lot about that right? Well that's wonderful, I'm glad you know what the hell you want!"

"Come off it Lai, you know she's only using you. She—"

"What. like you did?"

Paine looked elsewhere. "Y'know what fuck off then if you don't want to hear the truth."

"Right I'm sorry, we don't talk about that—"

"No we don't fucking talk about that!" Paine snapped. Baralai raised an eyebrow a little surprised at the intensity of that one. Paine shook her head and pointed with her baseball bat towards the door.

Lai softened his features a bit and Paine didn't budge. He nodded and left leaving Paine with a massive headache and memory she had hoped to never remember. She returned to the bedroom after locking the front door and was about to toss her bat on her bed when she realized it was occupied.

Rikku watched her notice her, stumble in her thoughts, and then sit on the edge of the bed. "Sorry." Paine muttered.

"What was that?" She was too curious to take into account the bit of sadness in her features.

"Nothing." Paine dropped her bat on the carpeted ground before her. "Maybe you should go—"

"What?"

"—Talk to Yuna."

"Yunie?"

Paine nodded. "I guess they hooked up again."

"Ugh." Rikku plopped down on the bed and searched for her cell phone amongst the rubble of their study session. "Are you okay?"

Paine nodded and stood. "Gonna shower."

Rikku watched her gather a tank top and then head into the bathroom. She sighed when she heard the water turn on.

"You must have a sixth sense or something." Yuna answered on the second ring.

"Not really, Lai just left here, I'm at Paine's. What happened?"

Yuna sighed. "It's me."

"What is?"

"The problem, it's me." Yuna shook her head. "I guess I thought things were back to normal between us and…I just kept on talking about Tidus, I didn't even realize he was upset…"

"You guys didn't hook up?"

"No….did he say we did?"

"No Paine just thought so…wowie." Rikku sat back against the bed and pushed some blonde hair out of her face. "Okay so Lai is gay or something."

"He is!?"

"Or something. He and Paine were just arguing and now Paine's all upset."

"Well I could imagine, they are good friends."

"Yunie just. I think maybe avoiding him for a little while would be good."

"Listen you don't have to tell me that. I feel bad, we had such a good talk and…gay?"

"Or something."

"Why do you say that like that?"

"Because I mean he seemed confused more than anything and Paine…well something must have happened between them."

"Do you think that they might have been…"

Rikku shrugged not really knowing how she felt about that. "Hard to tell…"

"Tidus called me today."

"Oh no."

"Yeah. I think that's why I couldn't really get him off my mind. He's not stupid, he knows something happened at the party…"

"I don't know what you're looking forward to more, him leaving or him leaving."

Yuna chuckled sadly. "I miss him already, things just aren't the same."

"Yeah, you'll be alright though right? You want me to come over?"

Yuna shook her head. "I'm fine. It's all just so…exhausting. I guess Lai and I have to have another talk."

"Give him some time."

"Of course."

Rikku sighed "Anyway did Brother text you?"

"He did, he comes in on Monday right?"

"Yup, staying at the house again, can you believe it?" Rikku's favorite time of the year was starting. The National Blitz League official season kicked started with Wakka's first game as a Goer, and her brother's third returning season as an official pro. She was partly present last season due to obvious life events but no one was more of a fan than her. Brother was coming in a few days earlier to be there for her graduation and then it was off to the Sphere for training week and the opening ceremony.

"We might have to vacuum all the dust out of his room."

"I'll probably just go in there and straighten it up a little, make him feel welcome. Hope he and Pops don't go at it."

"They seem to be rather busy. Uncle and my father."

"Legal nonsense."

"You wanted to be a part of that nonsense once."

"Yeah, but that was way before finals week." Rikku shook her head at the stack of law books sitting on the ground near Paine's desk. "If I have to read the word fiduciary one more time…"

Yuna chuckled. "Should have been a fashion marketing major. You know what my finals are?"

"Don't care."

"Well anyway, are you alright?"

"Hm?"

"Just in general. How did giving the painting to the lady at group go?"

"Oh…Still haven't done that."

"Well are you going Monday when Brother comes in?"

"Ah I didn't think about it, maybe I'll bring him with me or something. He's always saying we don't spend enough time together."

"And what better way?" Yuna joked.

"We'll see."

"I have to go." Yuna heard her father coming in and she needed to talk to him about all this. "Good luck tomorrow."

"Thanks Yunie, you too."

##

"So you two never…?" She let her question cling to the silence in the room. Paine looked down at her left side where Rikku was laying. The blonde had a gentle arm high on her midsection as they talked in nighttime voices.

There was a breeze, it cooled the room in only a way a breeze could. Paine was lying on her back wearing nothing but a bra and her underwear. Rikku was wearing a form fitting sleeping shirt that hugged her breast close but comfortably and a pair of orange silky pajama short shorts.

They were talking.

Yes they both had important finals in the morning yet the present called for their attention and it made them both realize that they hadn't done this in a little while.

Rikku liked these conversations most. Out of the types she had had with Paine or could have there was something about being alone with her at night, whether it be crowded up on her single bed on Crenshaw or her own queen size bed in one of the richest parts of the city, Paine was always less guarded around this time. It brought her back to those nights when they were still trying to understand and navigate their feelings for one another but also deal with a very real situation. The first time Paine admitted to being scared, the time Rikku revealed her irrational fear of lighting. They all were important moments that happened when no one else was around to judge, because they had their fair share of that.

"No." Paine shook her head and then examined Rikku's features. "We fooled around…It was just so awkward…and anyway we had no real business doing anything like that, we were young and…I don't know. I guess we just did what we saw. He's all cleaned up now but Lai grew up in the same place that I did. His parents…well they just weren't always there." Her left hand gently played with a single braid of blonde hair sprouting from Rikku's pony tail.

"So what happened?"

"Well…" Paine took the time to arrange her thoughts before speaking. It was something she often did when talking about her past. She hardly censored the things she told Rikku, but putting them into words was hard when she never had the practice. "He's more or less how I figured out that I was gay."

Rikku rested her forehead down to stifle her little chuckle against the soft skin of Paine's bosom. "Ur hu, buun Lai."

Paine smiled a little at Rikku's reaction. "I feel bad."

Rikku picked up her head. "You shouldn't feel bad though."

"I do." She admitted. "He was the first and probably only boy to like me just because…and I played him when I realized that…It was too easy. The truth Ri? It's that when he first left for Bevelle I was only mad because who else was going to take my shit yet still think well of me?"

Rikku could see the disappointment she held for her younger self. Their relationship now made so much sense to her. "What about Gip?"

She shook her head. "Gip and I are different…"

"Have you said sorry?" Paine raised a brow. "For being a meanie to Baralai?"

She shrugged. "Nothing I did was okay."

"Alright but he found you didn't he? He must have forgiven you to some degree. The rest is up to you to change."

"Yeah but saying sorry means I have to go back…"

Rikku patted the area right below her bra where her hand had been resting. "But you can do that now. You have done it, this is just another little step."

Paine was quiet for a long time. She had right? She had done so with herself so much this year. With Keira, Lulu, even Gippal a little. "Yeah." Paine sighed and looked back at her side. "I still feel like a bad friend."

"You were, from what you tell me, and how you acted like a butthead tonight." Rikku admitted while getting comfortable against her. "But I know how he feels, and so do you, and maybe this is the right time to start talking about those things that you guys don't talk about. He's confused Pai, he came here tonight to talk and you blew up on him—"

"Because it's Yuna, she's like your sister. He can do whatever he wants, but dicking around with her is just going to make them both unhappy."

Rikku found it sweet that she saw it that way, there were ways to do things though. "If you just told him that." She pushed gently. "Yunie said it was her fault. Teedus called her today and she thought things between her and Lau were back to normal so it makes sense that he got jealous or mad or confused. Bottom line is that he left… to come here." Paine sighed and looked elsewhere and Rikku pulled at her torso a little. "Oui ghuf E's nekrd, cdub vekrdehk ed vun dra cyga uv vekrdehk."

"Alright well when's my turn to be right?" Paine asked childishly. Rikku chuckled and leaned forward to kiss her for being so cute. "You're right all the damn time." She mumbled before getting another little kiss.

"Your intensions are always spot on Pypo, you just have to take a second and try no to be so…reactive."

"Mm." Paine continued playing with the braid in Rikku's hair as she thought. She didn't want to talk about it anymore for the night. The whole thing just made her feel like an asshole. "Lulu is having a little dinner for Wakka on Sunday, she texted me—"

"Aw look at you two."

"—asking if we'd watch Vidina, and by we she meant you because I apparently have no parenting skills what so ever…"

Rikku laughed. "She told you that?" Paine nodded. It amused Rikku to no end how Lulu teased her. "You told her yes right?"

"I said I'd ask you first."

"What are you doing?" Rikku playfully tapped her stomach. "Of course, I can't say no to him and his little cheeks."

Paine nodded. "Well I just thought you'd be tired from orientation."

"So? I haven't seen my little bunchkins in weeks. Tell her yes."

"Alright alright."

"Goodness." Rikku shook her head. "It's sweet though, that she asked you. I mean she has my phone number."

Paine hadn't thought of that. "Wonder how much he's grown, he looks like a different baby every time we see him."

"It's because he looked like a mushball when we first met him Pai."

"You look like a mushball."

"Well then I'm cute so there."

Paine leaned the small distance and kissed her nose. "Guessing they made up."

Rikku smiled as Paine chose not to acknowledge the fact that she had just kissed her on the nose. Paine Kerrigan just didn't do things like that. "Yunie told me that the argument they had was about Mrs. Moore."

"Really?" Rikku nodded. "Hm."

They remained quiet for another moment, Rikku was just enjoying how soft Paine skin naturally was, because Yevon knew she had just as much as a beauty ritual as Kimahri. Nevertheless her face remained clear and her skin smooth to the touch. It had to be hereditary. Keira looked like she could be Paine's sister not her mother. That reminded Rikku. "Have you called your mom?"

Paine sighed. "No."

"Call her."

"I will."

"We need to make plans for graduation, Brother is coming in Monday…" She yawned. "When does Gippal get out?"

"Tuesday."

"What are you guys going to do?"

Paine shrugged. "Figured we'd just run errands and we have that thing at the house to cook for—"

"When is that?"

"Tuesday night. You can't make it right?"

Rikku nodded. "I'm sowwy Pypo. Uncle Braska and the Pops wanted to do a fancy dinner thing, you were invited but you have your thing."

"That's fine, we'll all do something the day after, Wakka said he'd bring Viddy by."

"Oh okay."

"Rikks?"

"Mhmm?"

"I was thinkin' that Gip should stay with me for a little while, y'know as a buffer. That cool?"

Rikku grew confused. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be? That's a nice idea, see you can be a good friend."

"Well y'know…" Paine didn't know why she had just asked her girlfriend's permission for Gippal to stay over when said girlfriend didn't even live here. "I just was wondering what you thought."

"You had Joyce and Big Mack, He'll have you."

"Yeah, the first time I went—well I didn't really have a home, but the first time I got out of the hospital was pretty scary. He's been going crazy at that place, I just don't want him to…y'know."

Rikku looked up at her. "I know."

"What else?"

"Nothing really. finals, orientation, your job interview, Brother comes in, Gippal gets out, Graduation—Oh what about our little date?" Paine bit her lip. Why did it all of sudden seem like she had no time to plan this thing? Not to mention she still had to talk to Cid sometime this week. What about th— "Pai?"

"Huh?"

"You forgot didn't you?"

Paine shook her head no quickly. "How could I forget?"

"You know our eleven month is just a few days later. Y'know what we should do?"

"What?"

"Use those spa tickets, the ones I got you for valentine's day?"

"Those? I used those already." Paine said seriously.

"When!?"

"Me and girlfriend number two went." Rikku rolled her eyes and rolled away from her. Paine was fast in pulling her back and holding her close. "C'mon baby I know you have the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen, but you don't need to be so envious, she's number two for a reason."

"Oh shut up."

Paine laughed and tried to kiss Rikku but the blonde turned away from her, partly to hide her smile. She giggled when Paine wasn't fazed at all and proceeded to place little kisses all over the side of her face.

"No, no kisses!" She giggled as the two began to wrestle. "You don't take girlfriend number twos to nice places like that!"

"Where do I take her then?" Paine laughed as she struggled to keep the upper hand. Rikku had one thing on her and that was her speed.

"Choco-Burger!"

"That's where we're going after graduation." Paine laughed as she tried to peel Rikku away from the wall that she was using for leverage.

"I refuse!"

"Stop being such a princess!"

Rikku squealed with laughter when Paine grabbed her leg and pulled her along the bed. The blonde rolled onto her back and used her other foot to kick at Paine's arm. Paine grabbed that leg and began to tickle her. "Hey nooo! Py…Pypo!"

"Say you're number one." Paine growled.

"I'm the only one!"

"Not good enough." Paine put both her feet together and pulled them under her arm so she would stop kicking. She then used this time to tickle under Rikku's right knee which she found out during one of their little romps made Rikku loose all control and cry happy tears as her face reddened the color of her own eyes. Rikku held her sides and erupted into this fit of the most adorable laughing accompanied with body spasms and all. Her face soon began to look pained though. "I'm number one, I'm number one!" She gasped.

Paine let her go immediately and leaned over her. Rikku pushed her face away. "I'm trying to breath and you still want kisses!?" She asked incredulously. "You're a selfish mean—" She was cut off by Paine stealing a kiss. "Hey!"

"I couldn't help it." Paine smirked.

Rikku held Paine's gaze and grabbed a pillow from out of sight and wacked it over her head.

"Alright you see that?" Paine held her head and then pointed to the pillow. "That's abuse."

Rikku tried to contain her giggles because seriously it hurt to laugh but the look on Paine's face was just too much. "Didn't know I had a steve did yuh?"

"It's a dan! For the hundredth time Bayla."

"Why can't it be a steve!?"

"Because it's not! You can't be my girlfriend with me being a black belt and still be calling it a steve, it's a dan degree."

"I can say whatever I want!"

"Oh yeah?"

Rikku laughed. "Yeah—" She was cut off by a hiccup. They both fell quiet with anticipation for the second..and then the third. Finally Rikku just groaned. "Oh Paine look what you did." She rolled around a little before hiccupping again. "Ugh nooo."

Paine laughed. "Aw."

"It's not-" hiccup. "—funny," hiccup.

"It's cute."

"I—" hiccup "I hate—" hiccup. "You."

Paine kissed her again before climbing out of bed to get her a glass of water, a smile on her face the whole time.

##

"As in….in the ass gay?"

Paine sighed heavily. "I don't know, he doesn't know, all I know is that I need to say sorry because apparently you are no help with anything romantic."

"And he is?"

"More so than you!"

"Don't appreciate you yellin' at me, I'm ill."

Paine laughed. "Oh shut the fuck up, you spent enough time in there, if you're still sick it's because you're allergic to your own bullshit."

Gippal laughed.

"Why can't you just fucking ask her to be your bitch?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"Wait wait wait."

"What?"

"If you say please at the end it's bound to work….hello?...Painey?" Gippal pulled the room phone away from his ear with a laugh when he realized she hung up.

Just then Elma walked into the room while on her cell phone. "—And another thing, if you so much as touch another one of my patient's charts I'll pluck your balls off like grapes and feed it to your mother, do we have an understanding?"

Gippal leaned back in the chair he was sitting in near the phone and smiled softly.

Woman after his own heart right there.

"Good." Elma Mennechey hung up and sighed before looking over at Gippal. "Fucking interns."

"Ain't you one of them?"

"I'm an entering fellow."

Gippal grinned. "Really? cause last time I checked you had lady parts."

"When was the last time you checked? While I was asleep?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

She walked over and rested an affectionate hand on his shoulder. "Remind me to get tested when I leave."

Gippal laughed and smiled up at her. "Kay."

She let her hand slip away before sitting on the bed in the room and taking her purse off her shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

Gippal shrugged. "Better now." She smiled, and he'd never admit out loud that it made his day.

##

Baralai looked up from his economics textbook when someone slipped into the seat across from him at the library. He rolled his eyes and went back to reading.

Paine cleared her throat lightly and leaned forward."I thought I was broken or something." She whispered. Lai looked up from his book again. "When I.." She uncharacteristically appeared nervous by running her hand up and down one arm. "When I realized that it didn't feel like what everyone told me I was supposed to feel."

"What are you talking about?" Lai whispered over at her. The library around this time of year was hostile, they couldn't make any noise at all and here she was being all weird and un-Paine like.

"When I realized I was gay." She whispered back.

Lai sighed heavily and looked around before going back to his book.

Paine scratched the back of her head realizing this was going to be harder than she thought. "So I started…really looking a girls, but I realized I didn't like any of them except for one…You remember Krissa Dorin?"

Baralai looked up at the name. "The fat girl who lived two doors down from me?"

"She wasn't fat she was just kinda y'know…chunky." Paine shrugged. Baralai wanted to laugh. "Shut up alright I'm trying to open up here."

"Oh right." He shook his head; amusement still present in his warm eyes.

"She was nice to me." Paine remembered. "I think that's why I wanted to be her friend more than anything."

"So?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "So what I'm sayin' is to know it's not as easy as finding someone who is nice to you. It's not about that, that's not how I knew. Yuna's great." Lai looked back at his book. "But she's…complicated."

"Thanks, I hadn't realized."

Paine sighed. "Yevon Lai I'm just trying to say that throwing your feelings around like it's not important while you look for something that you think should define you isn't the way you figure shit out."

"Shhh." Someone nearby whispered but stopped when Paine gave their table the death glare.

She looked back at Lai and leaned over a little more. "Dona was my attempt at that, it didn't work. Some experience isn't always better than none. Alright?" Lai looked up at her. "You're gonna just be fuckin' minding your own business one day and some chick or some guy is gonna bump into you and you'll love them like you never thought you could. Then you'd wished you'd saved yourself just for them…" Paine looked off with that last line thinking of a certain blonde who had stolen her heart like it was just lying on the floor with no owner.

Lai sighed and leaned on the table a bit more. "It doesn't matter is what you're saying?"

Paine nodded. "Yes, right, thank fuck." She ran her hand through her hair and sent him a little smile.

"That was hard for you wasn't it?" Lai smiled back.

Her sexuality was just something she never talked about. She never really needed to. "You have no idea…" She pulled her hand back and looked at her palm for a moment. "I'm sorry for being a jerk and I—" She squinted. "And I love you no matter what. It's why I get so…d..definitive? Defensive. " She looked up at her old friend and nodded.

Lai continued smile and then motioned to her hand. "Rikku wrote that on your hand didn't she?"

Paine nodded and showed him her palm with the ink stains. "But uh…I care.. and I know how people can be because I was that way to you. I just don't want that to happen to you again." Paine said sincerely.

He nodded slowly "We were kids."

"I was a bitch."

"I overacted the other night."

"You overreacted? I overreacted."

Lai fingered the dog ears on his textbook. "I like Yuna."

Paine sighed and shook her head lightly. "I know you do."

"I'll get over it I'm sure, but it's just been a while since I liked someone. Since I didn't feel wrong about it y'know?"

Paine nodded. "You did the right thing."

Lai nodded. "Yeah, I always do."

Paine frowned a little but stood from the table with him and watched as he gathered his books. "You wanna go look at swords or somethin?" She asked as a way to cheer him up. He nodded.

"Love you too y'know." Lai said as they moved to exit the library.

"Yeah well let's not make these heart to hearts a habit. I have enough emotional shit to deal with right now."

"You wanna hug it out instead?" He joked while opening the door for her.

"If you hug me, I will hurt you."

Lai laughed and followed her out. "Yeah, I know."

##

Paine felt like she was going to be sick. "C'mon c'mon." She coached herself as she pulled into the spot that had unofficially become hers outside the Bayla residence. "You're Paine fucking Kerrigan alright? You've been shot for fucks sake, nothing can scare you." She put her car in park and reached for her water bottle sitting in the passenger seat beside her. "Nothing…."

Nothing except her girlfriend's father of course

I mean really, why the hell was he so tall?

It was Friday afternoon. She was unofficially done with university as of two o'clock today but that paled in comparison to what she was about to do.

Rikku had one more final, and then she was going shopping for a sundress to wear under her cap and gown with Lulu, Yuna, and Viddy. Leblanc wasn't here, she knew so because she had seen the posh woman on campus before she left.

It was just him and her.

"I can't do this…" Paine had never known a greater anxiety. She had backed out at least two times on the way here. The intersection cameraman probably thought she was a tourist with the amount of U turns she made. Just when she was about to call it quits and try again tomorrow she caught sight of the little chocobo plushie wearing a hoody sitting on her dash. Rikku had bought it for her on their second date to the traveling zoo and fiend show. Paine sighed and picked the little guy up. Rikku was fearless when it came to their love, and considering her past it was a testament to how she really felt about her. Paine knew this felt right, just as Rikku knew. The youngest Bayla had been there through it all and still wanted to share more. Paine's talk with Baralai today made her think about the past a lot, about Dona, about Crenshaw, about how she used to be not too long ago. It also made her realize that Rikku was who she wanted to be with, who she needed to be with. Not because she kept her out of trouble, although that was a solid plus, but because she, Paine Kerrigan had fallen crazily in love with her over the past year. A love that she never could have ever thought was possible. A love that made her want to be a better person. A love that granted her the grace of feeling real emotion.

So it was that love that made her fearless now. She reached into her glove compartment and pulled out the little red ring box she had kept hidden for what felt like forever. She closed her car door and walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. She knew Cid was home because his car was home and soon enough the big man himself came to the door in a simple button down shirt and cargo shorts. He seemed surprised, but not completely.

"Kid." He greeted with a small smile. "Milan's not here."

Paine nodded. "I know sir I kind of was hoping she wasn't."

Cid raised an eyebrow. "Well come in then." He opened the door more for Paine to come in and then closed it behind her. They stood in the foyer awkwardly for a moment. The great big house seemed different without Rikku in it.

Cid was so used to Paine just walking around freely that he half expected her to stroll into the den, take a piece of his biscotti and then plop down in the recliner and watch the documentary on the lost city of Zanarkand he had on. Paine just stood there though, looking a bit nervous but determined all in the same. "Do you want some tea, Braska just brought me back this tin of biscotti." He motioned to the den.

"No, thank you."

"Alright then. The kitchen?" Paine nodded and then followed him into the kitchen. They sat down at the breakfast nook facing one another and Cid raised a brow at her. "You have something on your mind."

Paine nodded.

They sat there quietly for a minute more. Cid raised both his brows now. "Well what is i—"

"I want to marry your daughter." Paine blurted out.

Cid just stared at her for at least five minutes without saying anything. He had his lawyer face on and Paine was really glad that in her past life of being a delinquent she never had to come up against him in a court room. "Want to try that again?" Cid finally asked.

"Eventually." Paine added when she realized that she was really not starting on a good foot here. She took a breath to steady herself and then reached into her bulky pocket to pull out the ring box that made it so. There was a very soft touch to her voice now; it was the first time Cid had never heard her sound so…Well he could put his finger on it, but she sounded different. "I'm in love with her." She nodded before pushing the box toward Cid gently. "And she makes me so happy and…complete. I know she feels the same."

Cid opened the velvety box and was a bit surprised at what he found. Nestled in the white interior was a platinum band scrawled very lightly with the customary henna inspired Al Bhed markings that was consistent with inside of most courtship rings. It was inside out. On the inside however it was engraved with the traditional engraving.

_Fedr oui E ys rispma, so muja ec ouin meva_

Paine watched warily as he inspected it. "I-I'm not Al Bhed but I wanted to do this right." She spoke up when he closed the little ring box and looked back up at her. His face was still blank and void of any indicator on how this would go. "She told me about her mother's mother's ring that she wears and how much it meant to her, and I know that Rikku is worried about the future, but I know I can be her support sir, I…I don't want to scare her with a huge engagement ring or promises of anything that would steer her off track, I just…well I feel like I love you is no longer enough." Paine looked down at her hands to try and find the right word. "It's not how I feel, I feel…more. She's my reason." She looked up and nodded at him. "All I need is your permission, and I promise to make your daughter the happiest woman in all Spira."

Cid exhaled lightly. "Do you understand what you are asking me?"

Paine nodded. "Yes sir."

"There are a lot of people who already don't like the two of you in a relationship, courtship _is_ an engagement, we take it just as seriously as one in Al Bhed community. How do you plan on handling these people? You can't fight them all." His tone wasn't as stern as she had imagined it would be, but it also wasn't yielding. Cid seriously needed to know to make his decision. "I worry for her safety sometimes."

Paine thought about it for a moment. "Rikku is strong, but I know she holds a lot in. People are going to say what they need to say, but as long as she'll have me I'm gonna be there to lift her back up every time. Some things are out of my control, but if I can do something to ease a situation or help her then I do."

Cid sat forward a little and clasped his hands on the table. "What about the drugs, Paine?"

Paine didn't know why she didn't expect that question but she didn't. "I've been clean for two years and five months. I'm on medication for withdraw." Cid nodded, when he had first heard that back at Harvest he and Rikku sat down and talked about it. Drug addiction was a nasty thing. "I go to therapy, group. I'm very aware of my problem sir, I'm not proud of it at all but I'm managing it, every day is easier."

"I have a zero tolerance rule."

"So does Rikku."

Cid wanted to smile at that. Sure they had their issues but Rikku sure was an apple off of the old tree. "She has had a troubling journey into adulthood." Paine nodded. "Can you understand my need for her to be with someone who respects her?"

"I would never hurt her." Paine cut him off.

"A lot of people say that."

"Yeah but when they say that have they ever seen that person at their lowest? Taken advantage of, or scared? We didn't start like _a lot of people._ Seeing her deal with these things, going through that with her, it's made me respect her on a whole other level that I'll admit I initially did. She holds herself up everyday like it's nothing, I'm real proud to know her and I'd never try and take that away."

Cid could see that he was making her a little upset and he was glad for such a response because it meant that it was true. "I have to ask."

Paine calmed down a little. "I know….sorry."

"Don't apologize." Cid sighed and picked up the little red ring box before him. "It's inside out."

"I know."

"Why?"

"Rikku's not ordinary, I wanted her to have something that reflected her more than anything. I saw her cleaning her ring once and I thought the inside was done so well. She told me that it was her favorite part…like Holidays or something." Paine smiled a little remembering the quirky comparison.

"Holidays?"

"It's a favorite that she only gets to see a few times out of the year when she cleans the ring."

"You've put a lot of thought into this."

"She's worth it."

"What about your futures?"

Paine nodded. "Rikku is in school and I'm working. I don't think we can plan much aside from trying to save."

"When do you plan on asking her?"

"After gradu—" Paine paused. "Does this mean you are okay with it?"

Cid chuckled at the look on her face and nodded. "I've seen how happy you make her, I have my concerns but I think we all do. I know she loves you. Now you aren't Al Bhed but I'll leave that to you and my mother to discuss. It seems to me like you have a real head on your shoulders these days, just try not to lose sight of what you're about in efforts to change. She will always be my little girl, and it goes without saying that bad things will happen if you break her heart, but uh…I don't think you will. You're a good kid." Cid stood. "I'd be honored to have you officially apart of the family if Rikku decides that this is what she wants." He stuck out his hand causing Paine to jump to her feet and shake it firmly with possibly the biggest smile he had ever seen. She then let go, grabbed the red box and took off only to skid to a stop and calmly turn around when she remembered her manners.

"Thank you, Sir."

Cid laughed. "Stop calling me sir."

**AN: Aw yay, now let's just hope Rikku says yes ;) Anyway this very fast update is thanks to everyone who has reviewed! It was awesome seeing your responses to the party sequence, they all made me laugh.**

**KathleenDee**


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter Sixty One**

"Sugar?"

She nodded. "Please."

Paul Moore stirred the tea gently and then brought it to the small informal dining table He and his wife were having breakfast at Saturday morning. Things had been rocky the last couple months to say the least, but when he looked at her, he still saw the same woman, just a bit of hurt remained. He wished it would go away eventually, but it seemed a lot wasn't just going to "go away" anymore. Things needed to be dealt with. Dealt with because they could never be fixed, not really. The time had come and gone for that and today was a different day.

Ellen and Lulu had had dinner last weekend. He wanted more than anything to ask how it went, ask if she brought Vidina, but Paul wasn't sure how much that would help things between he and his wife though. He didn't want to fight anymore, at least not with her. He still had a bit of fight left in him for his children though. He had been wrong so many times, he stayed awake counting them when he couldn't sleep, and he couldn't sleep a lot these days. There had to be a point though where he got back up. Paine had made it clear that she did not want a relationship with him. Lulu wavered. It hurt, it really did. Even though he was never present in Paine's life, Lulu had been his little girl forever now. Maybe this way of thinking was outdated. It wasn't that he never thought of Paine. Yevon knew every time her birthday passed her grew ill. Every time Lulu had a major milestone he wondered just how far Paine was along after her. He had a picture of Keira holding her up from years ago stashed in work office in his desk's bottom drawer. He had chosen the easy way though, and with life you learned your lesson regardless of the method. This one just hurt more than he could have ever imagined it would. Nothing seemed real anymore, all he could think about was Paine, and how different she seemed from what he had always imagined. How his friend's protected her. Braska especially. He was jealous of him. Knowing Paine well enough for them to be friendly. Him being her legal representative. Then there was Lulu. Paul supposed the dinner with her mother was good for them. Ever since Lulu started dating that blitzer they had butted heads over where her life would be if she were to be with him. Ellen had her share of hurtful words, and so did Lulu. He was glad they were trying something, something was better than nothing. Vidina Mateo being born made things so much more real. He was the innocent party that inversely brought his mother and his grandmother to speaking terms. Even if she wouldn't say Ellen seemed more at peace, Paul was glad.

"Can you believe that they are extending school districts?" Ellen shook her head as she read the paper and nibbled on a scone. "People need to stop having children."

Paul sighed. "Our daughter just had a child."

"Oh well besides him, he is to die for." Ellen waved him off as she continued to read.

"So…she brought him to dinner? Is he well?"

Ellen put her scone down and sighed before looking up at him. "Yes she did. He is perfect." She appeared to get a little emotional but then pulled it together enough to save face.

"How was Lulu?"

"Fishing Paul?" Ellen picked up the paper again. "Not your sport."

Paul sighed. "I am only trying to underst—"

"What is there to understand? She's broken up about this, her father is a liar, she has a sister, she has a newborn child, her fiancé or whatever he is is well…a redhead of some sort."

"That's hardly—"

"My point is, is that she'd rather not be involved but she is. She is at the center of it. That is my point. There is nothing else to understand."

"I'm in the center too."

"Why yes because this is all your fault." Ellen said matter of factually as she turned the page and folded the paper to single out an article that didn't look to be complete shit.

"Paine has made it clear that she does not want anything to do with me. So what am I supposed to tell Lulu?"

Ellen rolled her eyes. "Do you really believe that that Kerrigan girl doesn't deserve the right to be vexed with you for a few years Paul?" She picked up her tea and took a sip. He may be a total pain in her side now a days, but damn did he get her tea right every time. "I was upset before, now I'm just amazed that you can't pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that these kinds of things don't just get fixed with a few family sit downs."

"So dinner with Lulu didn't go well then?"

"Of course not." Ellen shook her head with a knowing sigh. "She takes after you. So stubborn."

##

She was being creepy.

Paine knew that, she acknowledged that her actions were a bit off, but she couldn't help herself. She hadn't been able to help herself for the past twenty four hours that had passed since she and Cid had their talk.

It was around seven in the morning. Rikku had to be at the Mi'ihen institute for ten. Paine's apartment was in Little Besaid, and a lot closer to the school than Rikku's so naturally the blonde slept over again last night. Paine's first appointment was with Elma, and that was in forty five minutes, so she got up, went to the gym, got back and showered, and then was going to pick up a fresh bagel and coffee on her way out but first she had to wake Rikku up or else she would be the one responsible if she were to be late. The only problem was that Rikku was sleeping so peacefully that she didn't want to disturb her.

While Paine was at the gym the blonde had scooted over and was snuggling her pillow close to her chest with the rest of her limbs sprawled out taking as much space as humanly possible. Her features were soft and Paine for the life of her couldn't understand why all she could do was stare.

Eventually Paine glanced at the clock, eight minutes had passed with her just standing over her looking at her. She shook her head at herself and leaned over to put her cold hand on Rikku's cheek knowing that it was probably the gentlest way to wake her.

Rikku made a few little noises but then sighed heavily. "Oui'na pylg?" She nodded when she heard Paine's soft reply. "Okay well stop messin' with me." She sniffled and tried to pinch the last bit of sleep before she was fully awake and had to actually get up. Paine removed her hand. "I'm awake see?"

"I don't believe you."

Rikku snuggled up against the covers. "I'm awake."

"I have to actually see you get out of bed Princess, you don't want to be late."

"Carry me?" Rikku asked with her eyes still closed.

Paine chuckled. "I did weights today, my arms are sore." She shook one of Rikku's legs. "C'mon."

Rikku chanced opening an eye to look at the time. "Call me in thirty minutes."

"Rikks."

"Pai I'm tired okay? You didn't spend all yesterday doing things for everybody else. When I finally got home from shopping Pops was so annoying, and then we had to clean and shop for food for when Brother comes cause there is no other time to do it. I just wanna sleep a little more kay?"

"I just don't want you to be late."

"Call me and yell at me if I don't get up."

Paine sighed and then reached for her leather jacket. "Fine, I have enough to run and get breakfast for you if you want. Steak and egg sandwich?"

"No I'll make something."

"I need to go the grocery." Paine was used to just living off of the staples, Rikku on the other hand was not. Rikku mumbled that it was okay. "Alright, I'm calling you in thirty minutes." Paine leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too Pypo."

Thirty minutes had passed and sure enough Paine was calling her. Rikku rolled over and glared at her cell phone before silencing it and closing her eyes again. This happened a few more time until finally answered. "What?"

"Wake up."

"You forget everything, why couldn't you forget this?"

"Because I know how you're quick to blame me for you running on Al Bhed time."

"You're always late!"

Paine chuckled at how aggravated Rikku sounded. "I wanna hear the shower."

"You're so annoying."

"You'll thank me later." Paine waited in line at her favorite bagel place downtown near the hospital where Elma worked. She could hear Rikku getting out bed and going into the bathroom. The shower head turned on. "Awesome, now take off your clothes."

"I'm hanging up on you." Rikku said dryly. In an hour she'd think it was funny. Right now she wanted to pie her girlfriend in the face or tie her shoelaces together.

Paine laughed. "Good luck today."

"You too Pypo."

"Bye."

"Ymnekrd bye." Rikku hung up and looked at herself in the slightly foggy mirror. She rubbed at her face and then sighed. She had really pushed herself this last week of school. A very old and minimal part of her didn't know why, but the rest of her knew that she had something to prove to herself. She was exhausted though, and Paine's early bird antics really put her in a mood. For someone who hardly slept her girlfriend was just really happy this morning. She was glad for her, but she was just too tired to ask why. Usually when she had doctor's appointments Paine was a mess. Today though… Rikku shook her head. What did it matter? Her girl was happy, end of story.

She stepped into the shower and immediately felt a little better. After the shower she went back into the cave like room and changed into her underwear before opening the blinds to look down at the street below. She loved the view from Paine's apartment. It was unlike one she had ever hand in any of the homes she lived in. Little Besaid's building weren't that high, not like the rest of the city. The view was of popular street that ran parallel to a main road. So it was busy, but not busy in the sense that there were cars always honking and screeching in the night like on Crenshaw. Instead it was rather tame. She watched an old lady and a little boy walking down the block with groceries. It made her think of her grandmother, and how bumed out she was that she couldn't make it to her graduation. She had old lady things to do but was sending her gift with Kirill. Rikku pulled herself away from the window and opened the second drawer that had solely become hers. She had just found it cleared out one day. Paine never said anything or made a grand gesture probably because she didn't know how. When Rikku had asked about she had shrugged and said that she could use it if she wanted as if it was nothing. The top of the dresser too was once cluttered with Paine's things but now there was a very distinct divide that Rikku noticed Paine liked to respect. If she spilt gel from when she was styling her hair now she cleaned it up right away instead of waiting for it to harden and stick. It wasn't even like Rikku had a lot on the dresser. Two perfume bottles, some lotion, a little make-up bag, her brush, and a little thing of cold cream to put on at night to clean her face. Paine had all kinds of nonsense scattered about and sure it took up the majority of the space but Rikku just found it sweet that she tried to keep her things neat. Neater than her own.

The blonde took a look around the room. Paine wasn't messy per-se, not really. She just… well she just had her own way. She valued her things that she thought were valuable. Once Paine had told her that she never had a lot of things growing up. It made her appreciate her nice things all the more and find everything else just meaningless clutter. Her nice going out clothes were always hung up, but her shoes were jumbled in a pile on the floor of her closet. Her black belt never left its shoebox like case unless she had to wear it to judo, but the woman lost socks like it was her job. She only made her bed up on the weekdays, and left toothpaste in the sink on a regular basis, but aside from that her bathroom and the kitchen were always spotless. She had a knack for taking off her clothes and just tossing it in the direction of the laundry bin (she seldom missed) but her drawers were military neat. It was a strange way, organized chaos. It never really bothered Rikku too much, she just found it interesting.

Now what bothered Rikku was that Paine didn't really have a wallet of any kind, and she liked things in cash too. It just wasn't practical walking around with large sums of money, or putting her checks in her pocket. That's why for their one year, Rikku wanted to get her a wallet. Usually shopping for Paine was relatively easy. She'd walk in, find something she liked, and then asked if they had it in black. But she really wanted to get Paine something she'd like, and actually use. Wallets were a tricky thing. Paine was clearly the more masculine one between the both of them, or rather she didn't bother herself too much with the nagging upkeep that labeled you super girly, or super feminine. Paine was just Paine. She wore heels and make-up, but she'd rather get a root canal before she put a dress or a skirt on. Some bright clutch styled wallet that didn't fit in her pocket was just not happening. But some boring old leather wallet wasn't going to work either. It just wasn't Paine.

Rikku had been looking now for a few weeks but nothing. It initially was going to be her graduation present, but graduation was on Wednesday and today was Saturday. Her back up gift would just have to do. It wasn't anything big at all. Rikku was just going to take Paine to eat a nice breakfast at this little upscale place in Mi'ihen city near the water. It reminded her of the tiny little places in Solae, Bikanel save for the water front view and the overpriced specials.

Rikku got changed in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and some flats since it looked a little like it was going to rain at some point in the day. Her top was yellow with ribbed sides and she decided that her usual cream leather bag would go just fine with it. She completed the look with her bangles and then the little pearl earrings that Paine had gotten her for Christmas.

She was nervous, but a good nervous. The kind of nervous you got when you were following your heart. It felt right, but it was still scary as hell. She had been on the schools website nonstop in her free time and pretty much could give the tour herself, but there was still something about actually going that made her feel like it was brand new. She decided randomly that she was going to paint that night as she waited at a red light. The traffic in the city around this time of the morning was ridiculous, she took a sigh of relief when she got onto the highway and it was clear.

##

Elma stepped into the small examination room and smiled. "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

Paine smiled. "Sup Em?"

"Oh you know." Elma shook her head and sat down on the little rolling stool and opened up Paine's chart that was waiting for her. "It's a total shit show out there."

"Yeah, I was in the waiting room, I know."

"It's the time of year." She put on her reading glasses. "People start to be more adventurous when it gets warmer. This guy I just scrubbed in on got pegged in the eye from playing land blitz and now they don't know how much of his vision they can save. Young guy too."

"Damn."

Elma nodded and rolled her chair closer to Paine so she could show her the recent scans. She took each x-ray out and put it to the light so Paine could see what she was talking about. "Aright so as you probably already know, The ureters run posteroinferiorly on the lateral walls of the pelvis and then curve anteriormedially to enter the bladder through the back, at the vesicoureteric junction. The bullet hit you here." Elma pointed to an area near the kidneys. "Nicking this kidney, and then causing a ton of bleeding. Luckily you have been healing rather well and I think it's only because you are young. An older person wouldn't have made such a recovery." Paine nodded. "Your blood pressure was a little low when we checked just now." Elma put the x-rays back but then flipped through Paine's file. "Which I'm seeing here is normal, you're petite and work out so I'm not too concerned, the only thing that you would need to do is drink more water, kind of help take the stress off, and then we just need to make sure your BP doesn't go any lower because then I'd have to put you on rennin hormone supplements and I don't you'd like that too much.' Elma wrote something down and then put on gloves. "Let me just see your back." She stood and walked over to Paine who lifted her shirt up a bit. "So there is talk of a bonfire."

Paine could feel her gloved fingertip gently putting pressure on the scar. "Who's talking? Gippal?"

"Mhm, he's apparently got all these plans." Elma nodded and Paine pulled her shirt back down.

"Yeah well you don't have to worry. I'll be with him."

"Did I say I was worried?"

Paine shrugged. "Well you don't want him to relapse as much as I do, maybe more?" She raised an eyebrow and Elma laughed a little.

"Paine there is nothing with us, when are you going to let it rest?" She sat back down on her rolling stool.

"When I believe it."

"Well listen I'd love to stay and chat—"

Paine hopped up from off of the examination table and smirked. "Running away from your feelings isn't healthy doc."

"Oh what do you know about it anyway?"

"Gonna ask Rikku to enter courtship with me." Paine nodded proudly.

Elma chuckled. "So you haven't been courting her this whole time? What have you two been doing then?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Like an official one. I got a ring remember?"

"Well yes but, so wait you spoke to her father then?" Paine nodded. "Damn…" Elma looked disappointed.

"What?"

"I owe Gippal fifty dollars."

##

"We call this building The Gallery, four levels of personal work and desk space for all architecture students. By default you will all start out sharing a cubical in the middle starting on the second floor, and then once you have proven your dedication and skill, you will be allotted your own desk and work bench overlooking the historical Mi'ihen Highroad…."

Rikku was in awe. She had traveled a great deal in her short life, and had seen many beautiful things, but the view from the very top floor with surrounding glass walls was nothing short of amazing. She could only imagine what it would look like when the sun set. The tour group was walking through the work area quickly, but Rikku was able to catch sight of graduate students huddled over their angled work benches sketching away with rulers not far behind. Most of them looked like shabby messes who hadn't slept in probably a week, and probably hadn't showered in half that but it was odd. She could see that they were still happy and doe eyes about their work instead of some of the burnt out law students she had come across in her time at NLU. "Now if you'll continue this way you will come across a bunker styled break room complete with hanging cots and a 26 in flat screen…."

Rikku was too busy watching the graduate students work that she didn't noticed the group had stopped momentarily causing her to step on the back of the girl's shoe who was in front of her. "Oh! I'm so sorry, are you alright?" The blonde was quick to recover when she realized what she had done.

The girl turned around and smiled. "No, although I'm pretty sure if my father had his way he'd name me that." She whispered with a small grin.

Rikku furrowed her brows. "I don't…"

She laughed a little. "Maybe I'm not as funny as I think. Lucil is the name, and yes I'm okay, no worries." She put out her hand and Rikku smiled back before shaking it.

"Rikku."

"Rikku." She tried it out and then nodded. "This place is crazy huh?" She motioned to the surrounding glass walls.

Rikku nodded as the group started moving again. "Wonder how long it'll take before I get one of those views."

Lucil nodded. "Mines over there." She pointed jokingly to a corner where a shaggy haired student rubbed at his temples in despair. "Well minus that nervous guy."

Rikku chuckled. Lucil was almost the same completion as her, though a few inches taller. She had a small trace of an accent like Yuna did, but what stood out most was her deep red locks. It looked the color of wine and suited her. She had a kind smile, and genuinely seemed just as excited as Rikku to be here."He looks like he's gonna drop down any second, you might get lucky."

Lucil smiled a sure smile. "Where there's a will, there's a way."

##

Paine was stuck in traffic on her way back across town to see Martha for their late appointment. She had just come from visiting Dr. Vice and was pretty pleased with what he had to say. Today they started talking about tapering down on the medication. First in dosage, then she'd take one every other day and then none at all. That wasn't going to happen until her tests came back though and knowing how those hack jobs in that office worked it would take at least two weeks. Still, it was very empowering news. It was raining though, and Paine was tired of driving and waiting in waiting rooms. She glanced at her phone and then put it on speaker phone as she tried to pay attention to the asshole with one dying break light in front of her.

"Hey Baby I'm driving and its pissing rain right now."

"Alright so call me back, I have so much to tell you!"

"It went well then? You sound happy."

"I'm really excited but um—oh that's my other line. I'm home."

"Alright, bye Rikks."

"Bye."

Paine hung up and squinted ahead of her. "Is he fucking reading a magazine?"

##

Rikku hung up from Paine and smiled. "Lulu!"

She never said, but she secretly looked up to the new mother. She always had. There was just something about her that seemed all grown up.

"Rikku how are you?"

"Pretty good actually, I had the orientation today remember?"

"Yes I remember, how was it? Are you sold yet?"

"Oh most definitely. I wanna start already."

"How long is your break?"

"Only a week."

"Oh so that'll fly by."

"I'm sure."

"So I texted Paine I don't know if she's talked to you yet about looking after Vidina for some time tomorrow evening and night. I forgot to ask you yesterday at the mall."

"Ugh she forgot to text you back?"

"It seems so. I don't blame her though she has a lot going on."

"Yeah I know, we can definitely do it."

"Great, come around for lunch so you can see how we're starting a new feeding style. Wakka and I will leave after that so let's say around one?"

"That sounds perfect, should I bring anything?"

"Um, we have a ton of movies here but there all Wakka's so like me you might get bored after the third sports one." Rikku chuckled. "Anything to take up your time when he's napping. I'm afraid our apartment is rather boring when he isn't awake."

"Ah okay sounds good….Um, Lulu?"

"Yes?"

Rikku bit her lip wondering if she should even ask. "How come you didn't ask Yunie?"

"I figured Paine would appreciate it, Yuna see's Vidina all of the time, and the two of you are always busy. Besides Tidus is coming by to pick up some armguard. I don't exactly know what time. It might be before we leave but I don't know where they stand. Yuna works tomorrow anyway."

"Oh."

"You and Paine don't come around enough."

Rikku smiled. "I'll relay the message."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Lulu." Rikku hung up and stared at the canvas before her, she decided not to paint, but to draw instead. She always felt like she had a better drawering hand, and seeing the graduate students in The Gallery working motivated her to want to do more. You see the way Rikku figured it she was already way behind. At their lunch break she sat with Lucil and another guy who were talking about their undergraduate work. And yes during the last two semesters she began to put together some type of portfolio, it still didn't even compare to what she was hearing. In a lot of ways the intimidation was what pushed her further. After about an hour of practicing her structural techniques she decided to go downstairs and fix herself some tea.

"Milan have you seen my keys?" Cid asked emerging from the formal living room looking quite dapper in a black suit and tie.

"Ohh what do you have a date or somethin'?" They had been warming up to one another again. Yesterday they had went grocery shopping together for the first time in a long time.

"Juliann is dragging me to a charity dinner." He explained as he searched the drawers. "What have you been doing since you got back?" He asked trying to continue to conversation as he looked. Rikku had come home so excited and they were able to talk about her day. It was progress in the right direction in Cid's mind. He wondered if she'd be that happy about Bevelle.

"I was drawing in the attic." Rikku explained as she put on the water and then went to set up her cup and saucer.

"Any plans for tonight?"

"Mmm no not really. Paine might come over…so be nice." Rikku gave him a little look.

Cid smiled knowingly. He finally was able to say that he knew something she didn't know. "I'm always nice."

"No you're always intimidating. You live for that kind of stuff and since you can't get your kicks in the courtroom anymore you take it out on my poor girlfriend."

"Well Milan I didn't tell her to date you now did I?" He joked in a serious tone. "Aha." He took his keys out of the fruit bowl on the counter. "I have to go, I will be back late, and if Paine is staying over no—"

Rikku put her hands over her ears. "Pop c'mon!"

Cid laughed and kissed her on the head before leaving. Rikku kept her hands over her ears just in case he decided to yell something which he was known for doing. When she heard the front door close she removed her hands and shook her head.

Another hour passed before Rikku's phone went off. She was relaxing watching TV in her room and reading a magazine at the same time. "Paiiiii."

"Rikkuuu."

Rikku laughed a little. "How did it go? Where are you? Do you wanna hang out tonight? Come over? We can make cuppycakes, I bought a mix yesterday."

Paine just laughed. "I can come over."

"Yay! Oh pick up frosting."

"What flavor?"

"Ummmm. Whatever."

"Cream cheese?"

"Yeah."

"Alright I'll be there in an hour."

"An hour!?"

"I wanna go home and change and stuff. I feel like I smell like waiting room."

"Alright alright."

"I'll text you when I leave the apartment." Paine hung up and crossed her arms. She hated waiting in lines. Why was there even a line right now? Like who went to the floral shop at like seven at night anyway?

Eventually it was her turn. Paine stepped up to the lanky man in skinny jeans and thick rimmed glasses. "I want to do an order of specialty flowers for Wednesday afternoon pick up."

"Alright, which ones?" He pulled out a pad.

"Showy Milkweeds..like a real big bouquet of them…I mean not so big that you can't hold it or anything but big…" She nodded. This was probably the most important thing she had to do so far in her life and she wanted everything to be perfect. "And more pink than white…"

"So you'd like fillers as well?"

"What are those?" Paine leaned against the counter.

"Well a bouquet is usually more than one type of flower."

She nodded. "Alright yeah, put whatever you need to to make it look nice."

"Alright for Wednesday you said?"

"Yeah will you be here?" He nodded. "I'll come by around three or so, and they'd be fine right? I'm gonna use them later that night."

"Well we can hold them for you until eight, that's when we close."

Paine thought about it, that'd mean she'd have to leave the thing on Crenshaw to come all the way out here by her apartment, and then go back. "Um, yeah, that's fine."

"Alright that's fifty dollars."

"For some damn weeds?" Paine asked a little surprised. When the clerk gave her a look she sighed and nodded before pulling out her check book. She had five bucks in her pocket and that was now for frosting, the rest of her money from her paycheck had to go to a bunch of other things. Luckily she did have money in her checking account. After that Paine hurried to her apartment and practically stripped out of her clothes to shower while she walked in the door. After a quick scrub she jumped out and changed into a form fitting v-neck, partly because she knew Rikku liked to stare at her chest when she thought she wasn't looking, and also because it was the first thing she could grab. She pulled on a decent pair of jeans and then checked her reflection briefly. Rikku always looked so nice when she saw her, even when she were sleeping and drooling on the pillow a little. Paine liked to put in the effort to return the favor. She thought she was okay looking, but everyone had a few self image things they needed to work out. Rikku thought she was gorgeous and though she didn't register it, it really made Paine feel good inside.

##

Rikku smiled when she opened the front door. "Hey." They shared a lingering kiss where Rikku placed her hand on Paine's neck. It was still a little supple from her shower. "Mmm you smell good…like…me?"

They both laughed.

"I grabbed your wash in the shower on mistake, by the time I realized it I had a huge wad of it in my hand already, didn't wanna waste it." Paine explained bashfully.

Rikku chuckled as she motioned to Paine's shoes that were a bit muddied because of the earlier rain. "It's okay Pypo."

Paine slipped them off. "I got your frosting." She held up the black Rins Pharmacy bag. Rikku took it from her hands so she could take off her leather jacket and hang it near the door.

"Oh good, I made the cupcakes already but you can frost them, they're in here cooling." She led Paine into the kitchen and Paine laughed to herself.

"Babe what are you doing with all these mini cupcakes?" She motioned to the tray of an easy twenty, there were two larger trays next to it.

"I scaled the recipe wrong then realized I bought the mini holders, what are you gonna do?" She shrugged. "Now we have cupcakes for days."

Paine laughed. "I can eat like ten right now."

"I dare you." Rikku chuckled when she picked up two with one hand. "No baby you'll just make yourself sick. You probably had street food for lunch or something right?"

Paine nodded with a mouth full of cupcake. "Wha wong wih wee wood?" She asked.

Rikku laughed and opened the frosting. She poked a finger in it and brought it to Paine's mouth. "Cupcakes without frosting are muffins, and I'm not in a muffin mood."

Paine suggestively sucked the icing off of Rikku's finger before licking her lips. "Well I know what kind of mood I'm in now."

Rikku laughed but the tips of her ears reddened. "Not in front of the babies." She whispered while motioning to the mini cupcakes.

Paine grinned and pressed a loving kiss on the side of Rikku's face near her left eye. "Alright Princess but you can't feed me frosting like that and not expect anything to happen." Just another thing to add to the list.

Rikku glanced at her. "Oh it wasn't for nothing." She flirted as she reached to a nearby drawer to retrieve a small off set spatula to frost the cupcakes.

Paine only smirked to herself. If she played her cards right maybe she'd be getting a little something after all. She leaned against the counter and ate another cupcake. "These are pretty good."

Rikku wore a little grin. "I'm glad you like them. They were real easy to make."

"Where did you get the mix?"

"Ringers on fourth and Dixie."

"Ah so their rich people cupcakes."

Rikku laughed a little. "I'll buy you a bag for graduation."

"I mean I just couldn't have a better girlfriend."

"That's right." She sing songed.

"Tell me about today Ri. You seem tired." She really did look a little tired.

"Well it was amazing." She went on to tell Paine about how the program was more interactive than they made it seem online. About The Gallery, about her text books, everything she could remember about the day that interested her. Even down to the fact that parking was total shit, but the view was amazing.

"How long is the drive from here?"

"Oh like an hour, maybe a little more, then think about traffic, and most of my classes are in the evening so that's going to suck peanut butter." She said as she focused on a cupcake.

"Well I mean I have no problem with you crashing by me if it gets too late or anything."

Rikku smiled to herself. The tone reminded her of when Paine said she could use the suddenly emptied drawer if she wanted. "I know."

"I mean you even said you don't like driving in the night…" Paine thought about it more.

"It just makes me sleepy."

"Yeah well. I'm like what? Less than an hour for sure. How long did it take you to get there today?"

"Once I hit the highway about thirty something minutes." She watched out the corner of her eyes as Paine nodded to herself. "Help me with these?"

"Yeah." Paine came over and ate another one.

"That's not what I meant! ugh you're such a goof today."

Paine chuckled with a full mouth and looked in the same drawer Rikku had for her spatula. "Good news from Vice."

Rikku perked up at this. "Oh yeah? What did he say?"

"He said that once my tests come in I can start tapering off on the medication."

"Pai, that's more than good news. How do you feel about it?"

Paine picked up a muffin and started its transformation by dabbing some frosting on it. "I feel really good. I mean a part of me is nervous, like I'm wondering how I'll feel once I get off of it, I mean you don't think it's too soon?"

"Well I'm not a doctor or anything but you have been taking it since October. If he says you are ready you are ready."

Paine half shrugged. "Yeah, then things with Em was okay, I have to drink more water she said though."

"What about Martha, this was supposed to be the last visit no?"

"Well yeah, but If I get this job they have health insurance so I'll be okay." Paine had already made up her mind that she was going to nail the physical portion and get this job. There was just no other option.

"How did it go?"

Paine nodded as she rested a frosted cupcake down. "It went real good. We talked about y'know…stuff."

Rikku nodded. "You don't have to tell me."

"Are you going to group on Monday?"

"I want to, I still have the painting remember?"

"Yeah."

"It's just that Brother comes in and he really wanted to spend time with me before blitz consumed his world yet again."

"Yeah, I mean I'm gonna go just sit there y'know."

"That's good, just listen."

"Then Gip gets out the next morning."

Rikku glanced at her. "You missed him."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah you did."

"Alright so he grows on you okay? Anyway I was trying to think of things we could do to occupy ourselves. Maybe take Big Mack somewhere too."

"I know how you get when you're around him—"

"What does that mean?"

Rikku chuckled. "It means that you two are trouble makers."

"Why does everyone say that?"

"Because it's just true. Lai hanging out with you guys?"

"Yeah we're all gonna chill."

"See this is why I'm afraid."

Paine chuckled. "You'll be my one call to come bail me out." She joked as she finished her batch of cupcakes.

Rikku mumbled something in Al Bhed and then glanced over at Paine when she realized she was done. "How did you finish so fast!?"

"I worked in a restaurant for four summers in a row babe." Paine reminded as she went to go wash off the spatula.

"Oh wait so does Gip go back to work soon?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, I'm kinda wondering what he'll do since some of his line cooks use too."

"What about Tori?"

Paine began to grin at how casual she asked it. "You jealous Rikks?"

"I didn't say that. What would I be jealous of? She's not frosting cupcakes with you right now is she?"

Paine just laughed.

##

Paine and Rikku flopped down on the couch and sighed heavily.

"Still want babies?" Paine whispered as if her voice would wake the sleeping six month old in the bedroom right down the hall.

Rikku moved to lay with her feet on Paine's lap. There were no other words to describe just how tired she was. It was only 4:30 in the afternoon and Lulu and Wakka wouldn't be back till midnight or so. "Yes." She mumbled with her eyes closed.

Paine pulled the fuzzy socks off Rikku's feet and began to rub them for her. "I mean he doesn't even walk yet, why are we so tired?"

"Because Pai, you can only make baby noises and play with that twirly thing for so long, and then you made him cry."

Paine shot her a look. "I did not make him cry."

"No one is supposed to die in a sock puppet show, he's a baby!"

"Shhh." Paine squeezed her foot. "He doesn't even know what death is Rikks, I was just trying to make it interesting."

"He got sad and started crying."

"Because you were scolding me. He doesn't like when people mess with his auntie."

Rikku laughed tiredly before closing her eyes. "I love you." She moaned as Paine continued to rub her feet for her. They hadn't ached her at all yesterday but today it felt like they were on fire. She hadn't realized how much walking around the Mi'ihen Institutes campus she had actually done until it was all over.

Paine smiled to herself. "Mhm."

Rikku yawned. "Pai?"

"Yeah Ri?"

"He's pretty worth it though right?"

Paine thought about it. "Yeah." She nodded and looked over at Rikku.

_6:15pm_

Paine woke with a start when she heard little lonely cries coming over the baby monitor on the coffee table. She stretched her neck out and then looked to Rikku who had passed out completely. Deciding that all Viddy probably wanted was someone to goo and gah at Paine gently took her girlfriend's feet off her lap and wiped her face as she headed into the small nursery. "Hey what are you awake or something?" Paine asked gently as she neared the crib and leaned in it to tickled Vidina's cheek. The little boy began to laugh automatically. He looked like Wakka when he laughed. "Why are you in here all by yourself huh? Oh that's right, you kinda can't walk." She picked him up and held him at her hip like she had seen Rikku and Lulu do. Vidina began to fuss a little as Paine leaned back into the crib for the little blankie Yuna made for him. "Alright alright, I'm just getting this blankie with the hippo on it see?" Paine draped it over his little shoulders. "You like hippos?" Vidina made a few noises in the tone of a question. "Well yeah I like hippos, but you know what's cooler than a hippo?" She began walking with him into the living room. "Chocobos." Vidina began to giggle at the word. Paine could tell he thought the word was funny because he kicked his little feet out when he liked something, and he was doing that now. "Chhooccobbo." She said it slower and it made him laugh more. "Chocobo!" She chirped it faster and he shook with laughter. Paine chuckled herself and glanced at Rikku who had not woken up and probably wasn't going to until her batteries were fully charged and that was okay for right now. "See auntie Rikku?" Paine motioned to Rikku lying on the couch as she sat down on it. "She's sleeping…that's when you replace neurotransmitters, and have dreams…" Paine reached for the remote for the TV and eased herself back a bit so Vidina would be able to fully lean against her. "Let's see what's on TV…Alright look we got some baby stuff here.." Paine rested the remote near Rikku's knee and leaned back a little more. "Look Viddy their dancing….bears? What are those things?" Vidina began to squirm against her and make little gasping noises as he scrunched up his face. Paine looked down at him with concern. "What's wrong little guy?" On TV the orange dancing bear jumped front and center to show off his moves and Vidina began to cry and cling to Paine. He buried his little head against her and she could feel his hot breath on her neck. "You don't like those bears huh?" Paine asked feeling an odd feeling grow over her. She picked up the remote and changed the channel quickly. "Fuck those bears." She muttered. Who the fuck did those jackasses in huge colorful suits think they are? Scaring babies and shit. They probably were all high as kites. She had a good mind to call the program and try and get it canceled. It wasn't like anyone really watched shit like that anyway. Not sober. "Their gone Vid see? No more bears." Vidina began to sniffled against her. Paine nuzzled his fuzzy red head a little with her cheek to soothe him. She had no idea what came over her, it just…happened. Like some kind of instinct. "They're not even real either, real bears wouldn't dance like pansies anyway kay? They'd eat berries and…um…rub their backs on trees and stuff." Paine chuckled softly as he tried to get a hold of himself. She was about to say something else to try and reassure him when his grip loosened a little and his head fell softly against her.

Just like that he had fallen asleep.

Paine found herself holding her breath. What if she breathed too loud and he woke up scared? What if he had like a baby spasm and fell out of her arms and onto that pointy edge of the coffee table. Paine glared at it. She was going to have to talk to Wakka about this.

She looked down at Vidina sleeping against her chest. His little face seemed so peaceful. Like he hadn't just been hyperventilating over some dumb bear. She held him just a little closer and used her free arm to adjust the blanket over her arm and Vidina.

He felt safe with her.

That was the best feeling she could know, and it was the scariest too. She glanced over at Rikku sleeping remembering feeling that with Rikku in the very beginning.

If shit went down right now she was the one who was going to protect her nephew and her girl. She'd stop at nothing, because they were inadvertently the givers of everything new in Paine's world.

She sat there for who knows how long with this thought in her head. The door softly knocking put her on high alert. Paine glanced at Vidina and tried to stand as gently as possible. She walked as gracefully as she could to the door and cursed whoever it was who knocked again this time louder. "I'm coming." Paine whispered. When she looked through the peep-hole she rolled her eyes and opened the door for Tidus.

"Aw how cute—"

"Would you shut the fuck up." Paine whispered. "He's sleeping."

"Oh." Tidus whispered feeling a little bad. "I came to pick up my armguard from Wakka, he said he left it in the closet for me."

Paine stepped aside to let him in and then closed the door. She followed Tidus to the hall and watched as he rifled through seemingly identical bits of blitzball gear.

Vidina sighed cutely against Paine and turned his head in his sleep. Paine smiled down at him and gently took the piece of fuzz from the hippo blankie off his nose.

"Found it." Tidus nodded and stood. He smiled at Paine holding a baby, though it was a sight that he'd never in a million years thought was possible to see. "You're real good with him." He whispered and touched one of Vidina's little footies.

Paine nodded. "He's my nephew." She said proudly.

Tidus smiled at seeing a different side of Paine for a change. "He's not gonna remember me…" He realized.

"Well you'll be back to visit right?"

Tidus shrugged. "Visit who? Rocko my guppy? He died this morning. My dad? He hates me, Yuna? Well I'm starting to think she hates me too."

"Yuna doesn't hate you."

"Yeah well…it's time to move on I guess."

"What is it with you guys anyway?" Paine whispered. "You're both caught up in when and how and where and really…that's not important.'

Tidus chuckled. "You should hold babies more often."

Paine shrugged the shoulder Vidina wasn't using. "When do you leave?"

"After our game against the Beasts. We all do a game here after the opening ceremony." He whispered.

"So Yuna's not gonna be at my old place after graduation, you should come by…I mean if you're not gonna embarrass yourself or fight with Lai."

Tidus furrowed his brows. "Lai and I are bros. Why would I fight with him?"

Paine realized she had slipped up. "You just seemed pissed when he was dancing with Yuna." She covered.

"I guess it's because it's Yuna. I mean I'm gonna love her no matter what…He was in my place, and I was drunk so…yeah we should hang out before I have to go blitz and stuff. Can't make it the day of graduation, but Wakka was telling me about something on Thursday?"

Paine nodded. "Yuna will be there. Whatever we plan."

"That's okay."

"Alright well…" Paine paused when Vidina began to stir a little. He made a frustrated little noise in his sleep and then she felt something warm where she was supporting him.

"Did he just?" Tidus pointed.

Paine wrinkled her nose and nodded in confirmation.

"Right well its been real." Tidus laughed and Vidina began to wake up.

Paine used her free hand to grab him. "Whoa whoa whoa where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I don't do changing diapers." He explained. Paine could see in his face that he was trying not to snicker.

"Yeah well neither do I!"

"Wake Rikku up."

'She's sleeping—" Vidina began to cry. "And she'll think I'm incapable." Something about Paine's voice was turning desperate. She hadn't bothered watching how to do it when Rikku did it, and now she was fairly certain if she woke Rikku up for this she'd be pissed. From now until Wednesday Rikku could not be pissed with her. She just couldn't.

Tidus glanced at the door and then at his crying godson. "I mean I don't even know the first thing—"

"You think I do?"

"Don't girls play with dolls when their little?" He asked incredulously. He could feel that he was being sucked into help with every word he spoke.

"Do I look, like I ever, played with a doll?" Paine asked dryly.

"Bu-"

"Y'know what fuck it. C'mon little guy we can figure this out right?" Paine turned to go into the room where there was a changing table she saw Lulu use once. "Alright shhh." She looked around the nursery. "Yeah I know I said two bad words today. I'm sorry." Paine tried to soothe as she put the crying boy on his back on the changing table. "Alright look if you cry a little quieter I'll chew up a cookie and give it to you. No? Alright a mini cupcake?" Paine looked about the changing table frantically. Alright so first she needed a new diaper right? "Um…wait there are sizes?" She scratched the back of her head. "Well how do I know what size he is?" She turned Viddy on his side and peeked at the back of his diaper for a tag of some kind. She could feel her eyes water at the smell. "Alright even if there was a size it's destroyed now."

"He's only six months right?" Tidus asked.

Paine glanced to her side at him. He had the collar of his shirt pulled up and over his nose. Paine did the same to her shirt and then nodded. "Yeah." She didn't like seeing the little boy in agony; he had fallen asleep on her damnit! This would totally break his trust if she couldn't get him a clean diaper and soon.

Tidus nodded and pulled a random package of diapers out and looked on the side. In his journey to find the right size he stumbled upon gloves. "Here." He handed Paine two before her put two on himself. "We need to arm ourselves."

"Good idea."

"I think these will fit him." Tidus stood and brought a clean diaper out. "Take that one off."

Paine gave him a dirty look over her shirt. "Don't tell me what to do Teedus." She grumbled as she slowly but surely unlatched the diaper. She coughed. "What in the _hell_ are they feeding him?" Vidina was quiet now that there was a breeze and besides his aunt looked pretty funny with her shirt like that.

"Or more importantly why is it that color?"

"Babies don't digest…." Paine shook her head at herself. Now wasn't the time to get all bookwormy as Rikku liked to call it. They had a mission to do. "Alright so since I took it off you wipe his butt." She stepped aside and pushed Tidus forward.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"You should probably double glove it." Paine nodded after assessing the situation better. "Triple."

Rikku woke to baby cries and freaked out voices. She sat up in a panic and looked around to find no sign of her little jellybean or Paine.

"Get it off get it off get it off!"

"Well if you would stay still!"

"It burns!"

Rikku quickly got up and made her way to the nursery but stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

Vidina lay on his side watching the other two people in the room with mirth in his eyes. What she thought was cries before was actual uncontrollable baby laughter. Tidus was hopping from foot to foot with his bulky gloved hands flailing about as Paine stood there with her shirt collar pulled over her nose, a surgeons eye, and several baby wipes in her right hand. Rikku didn't know what they were doing until Tidus yanked his head away from Paine's hand.

"You're spreading it!"

"You keep on moving!"

There on the left side of his face was the unmistakable trail of baby shit. She had no way to know how it had gotten so high in the air to get on his cheek or even why they were geared up like they were dealing with hazardous waste, but the scene was just so hilarious that the blonde did the only thing her body could possibly do at a time like this.

She laughed.

Paine made the fatal mistake of snapping her head up at the noise. In that millisecond of a moment Tidus knocked Paine's right arm away on accident causing it to hit her in the face with the access waste that had gotten on the baby wipes.

_12:56am_

Paine pulled up in front of Rikku's house and just stared ahead of her waiting for Rikku to get out.

Rikku tried, she really did, but she literally could not contain herself.

"Shit hit the fan tonight hu—"

"No babies." Paine said firmly still looking straight ahead.

Rikku chuckled. "Paine it wasn't that—"

"None."

Her gut threatened to explode after today, but she was sure her girlfriend was embarrassed and was just dealing with those emotions right now. I mean it wasn't every day that you got baby poop on your face. Hell it wasn't every year that you got baby poop on your face. She was pinching her stomach to stop from laughing because it was clear Paine was fed up. "Alright." Rikku nodded. "Call me when you get home?" Paine grunted, but still didn't look at her. Rikku sighed, her smile deceiving her understanding tone.

"You did good today Pypo…"

"…"

Rikku unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted over to place a kiss on Paine's cheek but stopped an inch away. "Is this the side? Or was it the other—"

"Get out of the car, Rikku."

Rikku giggled and placed a safe kiss on her temple before shimmying out of the car and closing the door. She glanced back at Paine who was still waiting in the car for her to get inside safely and smiled an even wider smile as she slipped inside.

She was going to marry Paine Kerrigan one day, and they were going to tell this story to their grandkids.

She just knew it.

**AN: I am just on a roll with these updates! I'm surprising even myself here. :) Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter Sixty Two**

"So how's the boyfriend/girlfriend?" Kirill asked as he hiked his traveling bag onto his shoulder. His father and uncle had left to bring the car around while he, his little sister, and his cousin waited at baggage claim.

"Paine's good." Rikku nodded smiling at her big brother. She was so happy he was in town. They had some catching up to do. He still looked the same as she remembered. Tall with her father's build. Tattooed sleeve on his right arm, and wild blonde mohawk and buzz cut. He was dressed well in long burnt orange cargo pants and a white button down shirt with expensive looking shades hooked onto his top. He had some facial stubble, which tickled when he had kissed her on the cheek in greeting. He still smelled the same, an odd yet pleasant mixture of prickly pear, sand, and that stuff blitzer's used to oil up with before getting in the water.

Yuna sighed with a small laugh. "No boyfriend."

"What? Thought this guy was the one or something." He gently nudged Yuna who just shook her head.

"It's complicated."

"Oh." Kirill chuckled. "I see….Need me to pay him a visit?" The eldest of the Bayla kids cracked his knuckles. "Daylr cusa maccuhc ypuid sacceh' fedr so pypo liw frema E's eh dufh?"

"We can team up on him!" Rikku said trying to crack her knuckles like her older brother but failing miserably. "Ow."

Yuna laughed. "Actually no. I think I'm okay for now. Out of sight out of mind right?"

"Yeah I suppose." Kirill spotted his last bag and lunged for it. "Knysc packed these for me." He chuckled when he realized she had tied a handkerchief on it so he would know it was his even after he explained that airports labeled them for you.

Rikku jabbed him in the arm. "She's an old lady."

"Yeah." Yuna chirped up. "Why is she packing your things?"

He laughed. "Hey since you guys are all the way out here and I'm her closest knyhtpypo you gotta expect a little spoilage."

"Yeah, of your brain." Rikku laughed. "Hey!" She sunk down a little when Kirill brought a heavy hand to mess up her hair purposely.

"Aw I missed you too lil' sis, hey you still wetting the bed?"

Yuna laughed as they fought in the middle of baggage claim just like old times. Even though she had her fair amount of stresses, what with work and boys, she was happy Kirill was in town. Back when they were little the three of them were as thick as thieves. Well mainly her and Kirill, Rikku just stumbled along half the time because she wanted to do everything Kirill did.

They got out to the car and Cid sighed. Braska only laughed. "Turin stop trying to pants your sister." In broad daylight no less, he didn't understand why his children acted like this. Tahla had been as calm as a river, and he wasn't always calm, but he most certainly wasn't goofing off all the time like these two knucklebrains did whenever they got together. He just didn't understand.

"Aye Pop she started it." Kirill laughed.

Rikku tried to look innocent as she held onto her shorts. "Yunie did it." She lied.

Yuna laughed and put up her hand. "I had no part in this."

"Just get in the car, all of you. Shiva."

##

Both Yuna and Kirill were doubled over in laughter.

Rikku was standing imitating Paine's reaction to getting baby droppings on her face. She was trying to get the story straight but every time she thought about it she broke out in laughter herself and then she forgot where she was so she had to start over. "Yht E sayh rec vyla fyc csaynat fedr Vidina'c cred. Mega drana fyc tyng knaahecr, misbo pypo cred uh draen lraagc, Tidus muugat mega ra fyc kuehk du lno yht Pai fyc yc byma yc y krucd."

Yuna had tears in her eyes just imagining the scene. "Oh my goodness."

"I think of a million and one shit jokes right now."

Rikku laughed. "I know! Me too! It only pissed her off. So kenmvneaht ec jano cahcedeja."

"Aw Rikku she was probably embarrassed." Yuna tried to reason with a cracking straight face. They were in the Bayla den late that night just relaxing and sharing stories and just making a lot of noise.

"Shit happens." Kirill nodded seriously from his spot lying on the floor in a wife-beater and some shorts. Yuna and Rikku exchanged looks and then laughed. Just then one of their cell phones began to go off on the coffee table. Rikku knew from the ringtone alone that it was Paine calling her. She put her finger to her lips to shush her brother and her cousin who were now joking about a time when Kirill stepped in a huge pile of dog poop and trailed it into their grandmother's house without noticing. Kirill tried to imitate an old lady's voice as he shook his fist in the air. "Kirill! Ruf syho desac ryja E dumt oui du dyga uvv ouin cruac! Ruf syho!?"

Rikku chuckled a little as she answered the phone. "Hello?...Pypo." She smiled. "Uhuh…no we've just been hanging out here at home…yeah…uhuh. Really? Oh how sweet, when do you want to go?...Okay that's fine with me…Mhm…" Rikku lowered her voice a little. "rao fryd yna oui tuehk E ryja kiacdc…." She giggled. "Yaah c'mon…alright. I love you…mhm…sweet dreams." She hung up and turned around to see Kirill with a pretend phone to his ear.

"Uhuh…uhuh….ooh Pypo…I love you, no I love you more, no you hang up first."

Rikku blushed and grabbed a couch cushion to throw at him. "Hey shut up!"

Kirill being the athlete that he was caught the pillow and threw It right back. "Hey you want me and Yuna to leave the room?"

Yuna laughed at how embarrassed Rikku looked. "You know that's not even the worst of it, Brother."

He laughed at his little sister's blush then looked to Yuna. "No?"

"Yunie! What happened to you being on my side?!"

"I believe that, they were about straight get it on when I first met Paine."

"Brother!"

Yuna laughed. "Alright alright I think she's gonna burst if we continue."

Kirill laughed and agreed to ease up. It was just that he always forgot how much he loved teasing her until he visited. "So do I have to wear a suit to you guys graduation?" He asked stretching out a little.

Rikku sat back down on the couch and put her phone down on the coffee table. "Maybe not a suit but something nice like a button down and some slacks." He nodded. "We're going out to dinner later."

"Kinda pissed I can't eat meat." Kirill frowned.

"They really have you guys on a strict diet huh?" Yuna asked.

He nodded. "We were almost champs last season, things have gotten harder for sure." Blitzball was a very demanding sport to play, every player, even the guys who sat on the bench outside the sphere had to pass a physical before they could even get in the water. "Can't eat meat till ceremony, then it's gonna be a nice ass steak dinner, then bed, get up and do some laps, and then we open the season against the Goers."

"I'm conflicted on who to root for." Yuna shook her head. "Wakka is a Goer."

"Wakka…wait you guys know him?" He had heard about a few players getting drafted from NLU. Wakka D'Autry was a first round draft pick.

"That's Lulu's baby daddy." Rikku explained.

"Vidina is his son." Yuna nodded, "I could have sworn I told you this."

Kirill shook his head. "Maybe but I prolly wasn't paying attention…so he has a baby?" Rikku nodded. "So he'll be distracted."

Yuna laughed. "Only you would think that way."

"You better not doing something stupid. That's my little jellybean's papa."

"I'm not gonna do anything." He rolled his green eyes. "I just didn't know there was a connection. I'm guarding him."

"Are you really?"

He nodded. "Coach locked me in a room and made me watch all his NLU games from start to finish. It's gonna be a challenge but I ain't afraid of no Goer. Plus it's his first time in the big pool with all the real sharks."

"That's right bro, you gotta show 'em how us Psyches roll." Rikku nodded.

Kirill chuckled. Rikku was easily his biggest fan. "First goal is for you baby sis." He smiled at Yuna. "When you come to your senses I'll dedicate one to you too."

Yuna laughed. "You'd have to make a goal first."

"Ooohh." Rikku laughed.

##

Yuna had gone home, and Rikku was settling in for the night. It was rather late and tomorrow she and her brother were spending the day together doing something. She sighed as she entered her room and looked at the painting leaning against the door rapped in brown paper and tied with a string. She meant to go to group today but she had lost track of time with Kirill arriving. Paine had went, which made Rikku happy. She was trying and that was all she could ask for. Tomorrow she was going to get Gippal in the morning and they were going to do something productive, then head over to Paine's old place on Crenshaw to start cooking food for when they got back from graduation on Wednesday.

A half hour passed and Rikku was sitting up in bed drawing until she got too tired and would fall asleep. It's what she usually did now. She had a sketch pad at Paine's, and one here.

"Come in." She called to the soft knock. She thought it would be her father but it turned out to be Kirill. "You're not tired from the flight?" She asked when he walked in.

"Nah not really." He shrugged before sitting on Rikku's bed. "Wanted to show you the finished product." He motioned to his back.

Rikku got excited. "You finished it?"

Kirill nodded and pulled off his tank top. It was no secret that Kirill Bayla was into body art. He had several piercings, and at the moment four tattoos if you counted the multi colored and detailed Bikanel dedication sleeve complete with the old Bayla family crest at the very top as one. On his left shin he had some hot babe that looked vaguely like his long term ex girlfriend dressed in a garage jumper and working on machina. Rikku actually admired that one for how tasteful it was, it really looked like she was working and not just posing half naked. Just below his left peck he had the word "Bnuit" written out just in case the sleeve wasn't enough. It had actually been his first tattoo. His last was a back piece he had been working on for some time now. Being in the water so much made getting tattoos difficult because he seldom had time to let them heal properly. The center of his back was the Relic Sun, a tribal sun found mostly in ancient Spiran hieroglyphics. The sun was done in black ink that was meant to seem a bit faded given its history. It was a decent size with the crazed rays tickling his shoulder blades and a small bit at the base of the back of his neck. The sun had cursive lettering reading "Tahla Capri Bayla" The words were held in the bottom part of the center of the sun. The entire thing was extremely well detailed and a play on the idea that the sun guided the day. In this case his mother was his eternal guide no matter where he was.

"You like it?" He asked when he felt Rikku trace a finger across the cursive.

"It's perfect." Rikku smiled. He had been talking about getting this done for a while now, and Rikku was the actual one who drew up the first few sketches of the tribal sun for him. She had no idea it would turn out this large or this awesome. "Think she'd like it?" She found herself asking.

Kirill laughed and glanced at it over his shoulder. "Maybe not."

They shared another laugh and then fell quiet. Rikku patted him on the back gently. He didn't like to talk about their mother, the blow up with him and their father the first time he came home in years was proof of that. She knew it had torn him up, he had been a lot older than Rikku was so he remembered more. She knew he didn't talk about it with anyone, like his machina girl tattoo, she was sure it was for his ex but he'd never say. they had met working on machina when he moved out and had been together for three years. He expressed himself this way. Like Rikku only his canvas was his body. "Did you show Knyhtsy?"

Kirill nodded and grinned a little at his grandmother's reaction. "She asked if when she died I'd get my chest done up as a moon." Rikku laughed. "Told her of course, then she yelled at me for leaving my blitz gear in the hall."

Rikku shook her head. "When I'm an umt myto I wanna be just like her."

Kirill laughed. "Feel a little bad for Paine."

Rikku smiled at the mention of her girlfriend. "She definitely will be getting the _shitty_ end of the stick."

Brother laughed. "I'm tellin' you I have at least a dozen more."

Rikku laughed. "Me too!"

Kirill pulled his tank top back on. "So you two are doin' good?"

Rikku nodded. "Happy, very happy."

Her brother relaxed against the bed on his elbow. "What's up with Yuna?"

"She's just going through something right now…"

"Tidus Meadows, scrawny guy that got signed to The Abes right?"

Rikku chuckled. "Yup, he's actually not that bad. He made Yunie happy, and they actually seemed to work for some time there."

"So what happened?"

Rikku sighed. "Long story short things fell apart, he's leaving, she's staying. That's what started this whole thing anyway."

"Yeah.. that's not easy."

Rikku nodded. "Well are you dating people?"

He shrugged. "Yeah but, I don't know nothing really clicks y'know. They know who I am, it's hard to find anyone genuine."

"Well when you're not being a poopyhead you're actually a nice guy. You'll find her."

He laughed. "Thanks Little B."

The room was quiet for a moment. "You wanna show her tomorrow?" Rikku asked and Kirill looked up at her and nodded. "We'll show her tomorrow." Rikku nodded back wondering if he had been waiting for the opportunity for some time now. He'd never go alone, so she'd go with him. She hadn't been there since her birthday, maybe now was a good time to go back.

##

He looked thinner, but then he had been looking thiner for some time now. His cheeks somehow seemed more defined, so did his jaw, though that was hard to tell at the moment with the foamy shaving cream lathered onto his face.

Gippal Trent clenched the disposal razor in his hand to get it to stop the small tremors. He brought it to his face and began to shave for the morning. "Fuck." He muttered when his had twitched and made a small cut near his chin.

It was getting better though.

The nurses thought he was suicidal with the amount of cuts he had on his face the first time he tried to shave after he got over the hump of addiction. That hadn't been all though, night sweats, vomiting, nausea. He never knew how much his body needed oxy to stay functioning like it was. It had gotten to the point of doing it just because if he didn't he'd never make it through that service, he'd never be able to stand up every day and try and live a life knowing where his mother was and where he could be. He needed it so he didn't have to acknowledge the growing space between he and Paine, or the shot of happiness with Elma. He needed it to stay loyal to the streets that had raised him, even though those same streets were spitting him back up like the green jello they served him yesterday, it had gotten all over Elma's bag...

Being sick wasn't something he was used to or rather, being healthy wasn't.

Then once he hit his darkest shade of black the world just seemed to open up to him. Like a newborn his vision was blurry, but he could feel the cold air rushing about him. He felt completely submerged.

Clasko had visited almost daily with tails of restaurant catastrophes and quests for answers. It had helped Gippal feel normal, feel less like an infant and more like the person he was under all this.

Then Clasko would leave and Paine would call. During the week she always called, most Sunday's she visited, sometimes bringing a quiet Rikku along. In his own little way Paine freaking out about her own life helped too. He wasn't the only one going through something.

Gippal washed off his face and stuck a piece of tissue on the red spot near his chin before grabbing some hair gel and a comb. His hair had come back in a bit which he was glad for. Cutting it was an attempt at something, he still didn't know. Maybe changing his appearance would help the healing go by faster, but it didn't. He soon found that one out.

He styled his hair and then unwrapped the towel from his waste and but on some navy boxer briefs, then the jeans he had came in with. In his back pocket he found a nickel and a club stamp from Kaiser.

Paine had had it with him that night, he could see it in her eyes, and then when he handed her a napkin from her glove compartment to help wipe the vomit off her chin she snatched it from him asked him why he was doing this to her.

The second most defining moment in their friendship, the first being when he snuck into the girls bathroom and cut her hair for her with a pair of safety scissors while she cried.

The difference?

Helping liberate Paine, and then trying to pull her right back in again.

He had no way of knowing that that's what he was doing, but after the hours of counseling here, he realized that he was miserable now that Paine was happy. She should have been with him, how he was, they were a team, thicker than blood, and there she was doing huge things leaving him behind.

Gippal lost sleep over how shitty he had been. He was absolutely positive that most of the guilt stemmed from now fully understanding recovery, and how she was doing it alone, he understood Rikku's rage that caused her to slap him. The sheer frustration in her green eyes. It all made sense. She wasn't close enough on the level that he and Paine were, and she felt like he was not taking advantage of that to help her. She felt she could do better, and Gippal was sure she could.

He had to change or he was going to lose his best friend, and that was a fact.

Now he was going to either fall flat on his face, or stare into the sun, he could tell everyone here expected to see him back here in a month or two, and maybe they would, but at least he'd be back. Gippal Trent was a fighter, it was all he really knew how to do, and this was no different.

##

"We're gonna meet him and Nooj there." Paine nodded and glanced at her best friend. "Are you hungry? I know the food in there was shit." She looked back to the road.

"Can't say I'll keep it down, but damn I could go for some Al Bhed food, that or a big ass cheeseburger." Gippal stretched his feet out and then motioned to the chocobo plushie. "Where's the wife? Half expected her to come with you."

Paine rolled her eyes at Rikku's new nickname. "Her brother came into town yesterday she's doing family stuff. She wanted to come though."

"Hm."

"Don't have any Al Bhed food at the apartment and I know how you can't stand getting take out, but we could go to ChocoBurger." Paine motioned with her chin at one of the franchise burger places they had just passed.

Gippal shook his head. "You don't eat there."

Not after the documentary on those poor innocent chocobos slaughtered for their enormous chicken sandwiches.

"Nah."

"So let's just go to Mac Ronalds and then meet up with the guys then." He crossed his arms. "I can't wait to see what kind of addict friendly activities you have planned for today P."

Paine chuckled at the sarcasm in his voice. "You'll like this, I promise."

##

"Look at these jackasses." Gippal sneered quietly as he, Paine, Baralai, and Nooj stood in line.

The jackasses in question were a group of guys who had just come to stand behind them in line. They were talking loudly about how everyone in the place would be sucking their dicks by the end of the tournament because they had brought their own guns and had code words and formations. Not to mention their pretty light blue uniforms.

Lai rolled his eyes at the group. They were just here to have some fun and play some paintball. He wasn't sure how stable Gippal was, but if he were anything like his old self then they'd be having problems if this line didn't move up. He glanced at Paine who was standing in her usual "Leave me alone" stance with her arms crossed and her gaze straight ahead of her. He calculated that since she didn't have a scowl on her face she was probably just thinking about tomorrow night. Nooj was in his own little word looking up at the fast food styled menu of game options and associated prices.

Baralai looked back to Gippal. "Who's navigator?"

"I'm navigator, you couldn't navigate your way out of a paper bag."

"I never get lost." Lai pointed to himself proudly.

"I never get lost either!"

"You always get lost!"

"Always huh? You been around always to know?"

"Children." Nooj stepped in with a chuckle. "He pointed to Gippal. "Gunman." Then to Lai. "Navigator." Then he pointed to Paine. "Paramedic."

"Why do I have to be the paramedic?" Paine questioned.

"Uh because your name is Dr. P, Dr. P." Gippal pointed out with a smirk as he threw an arm around her shoulder.

Paine shrugged it off. "Whatever."

"So what does this make you then Nooj?" Lai asked as the line moved up.

"Yeah."

Nooj shrugged. "I'm the only one with real military experience."

"Shooting yourself in the leg while cleaning your machina and getting an honorable discharge does not count." Paine pointed out. "I should be the leader." Both Lai and Gippal protested strongly. "What?"

"You're too mean." Lai nodded.

"Yeah." Gippal nodded. "Let grandpa be the leader."

Nooj rolled his eyes. "I'm only two years older than you."

"Age before beauty." Gippal shrugged as if it was out of his control.

"—Is she going to play?"

"Guess so, hope not with us."

"What map are they picking?"

"Hard to tell..fucking girls man, they think they can—"

Paine turned around and glared at the guy dressed in the light blue paintball uniform. He was stunned into silence. She glanced at the number on his jersey. "Four."

Gippal chuckled as Four looked like he was ready to shit himself. "You boys up for a friendly competition?" He asked turning around and standing beside Paine.

One and Three stepped up. "You're not in our rank, and you don't even have the appropriate gear." One nodded.

Gippal laughed. "Yeah dem baby blue shirts are real impressive." He glanced at Paine. "Think they ever shot a real gun before P?"

Paine shook her head. "They look too sweet for that."

Gippal grinned and flicked the paintball rifle in Two's hand. "Daddy buy you that?"

"N-no."

"Don't answer him." One chided. "Look, why don't you just turn around and buy your hour pass, we have a tournament to win and can't be bothered with taking out the trash."

Before he even knew he was going to react he felt Paine put a hand on his bicep to stop him. "Forget it." Paine mumbled. These were the kinds of situations the last year had taught her to avoid.

"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend." Four nodded.

"Probably the closest he's been to a girl." Lai added in quietly which made both Paine and Gippal laugh and appreciate him just a little more.

"What do you think Nooj?" Gip asked.

Nooj sighed. "This right here is why I'm leader." He didn't know Baralai too well, but judging how he fit right into Gippal and Paine's antics meant he knew all he needed to know. "It's clear these guys make paintball a lifetime commitment, who are we to judge?" Paine was the only one to get the back handed insult and it made her laugh and realize how much she missed hanging out with him.

One seemed to catch it to. "You know what we could do for a warm-up before our real games start." He motioned to the menu. "Den of Woe, Survivor mode. Really don't think it'd take that long though. I just wanna be able to out you more than once."

Gippal grinned. "He's wants to out me Lai, any tips?"

"Asshole." Lai shook his head with a small laugh.

Yes ladies and gentleman Gippal Trent was back.

##

"Stop dying." Paine growled at Lai as she slid to a stop behind the huge barrel and used the medic glove to pat his helmet before running off again.

She was the only one who couldn't get hit since she was the paramedic and it was not an easy job at all since The Baby Blues were pretty decent shots. Den of Woe was one of the largest maps at the Paintball Emporium in South Luca. Survivor mode meant whoever's paramedic died first was the loosing team. So it was a mass hunt for whoever was wearing a white medic cross symbol on the back of their jersey and that so happen to be Paine and Four.

They had been at this for forty minutes now and Paine's thighs and arms were burning. Each player was equipped with a helmet that had a team only intercom system. Paine and Four had a magnetic glove that when tapped on the back of the other's helmets brought them back into the game.

"Fucker" Gippal mumbled when Four missed his shot only by an inch. "You okay P?" He asked as he ran toward a little shack and ducked down behind the window. The gunman's main job was to hunt the paramedic.

"Whenever you wanna get him that'd be great." Paine said as she glanced behind her to see Nooj approaching.

"He's good." Gippal nodded to himself.

"Guys?"

"Shiva's left tit did you die again!?" Paine asked extremely frustrated again when she heard Lai's sheepish voice.

"Leave him dead." Gippal added.

"Where are you?" Nooj asked calmly.

##

Paine sighed heavily and took off her helmet. She felt dizzy and knew her face was as red as the paintball jersey they rented. "Nice shot."

Gippal nodded with a small grin. "Didn't know you had it in Monty."

Baralai was sitting leaning against a half wall looking like he was going to throw up. His face was sweaty and he was wheezing slightly. "T-thanks."

Nooj chuckled. "Took him a few tries."

"Don't you mean like seven?"

"Fuck you guys." Baralai glared from his spot on the ground.

Nooj, Gippal, and Paine laughed and then all reached down to help him up.

He had made the winning shot after an hour long game and a final shoot out with the medic and his other teammates.

##

Paine and Gippal were on their way to Paine's apartment after getting out of paintball. They were exhausted, and the game plan was to make a huge omelet with the random things Paine had in her fridge, blow up Gippal's air mattress for him, and then nap for a few hours. On the drive there they talked about the heated paintball match and how'd they needed to do it again soon. They talked about LapPig and the new menu for Restaurant Week coming up, and what to expect of the next few days.

"Seeing people you knew before…"

"Yea I already know that's gonna be hard."

"You had routines before that need to be changed." Paine nodded. "I didn't even shop in the same places. I couldn't."

"What do you think was the hardest part?"

Paine took her time to think about it. "I guess realizing that I was something without it. Like if I wasn't high that was okay because I was me…" Just then her phone sitting in her cup holder began to ring. Gippal lowered the music down as she picked up. "Kerrigan…" She chuckled. "I just figured you'd be with your brother all day….Yeah Gip is here, we're heading by me to sleep. Can I call you when I get up?...Alright." Paine hung up. "Rikku says hi and she's sorry she couldn't come with me."

Gippal waved her off. "S'cool. So what's the plan with that anyway? You got old man Cid's approval and now?"

Paine glanced at him. "We graduate tomorrow, and then she goes to dinner with her family, I come and hang with you all, then I'm gonna leave a little early to set things up."

"Set things up? What are planning a picnic?"

Paine laughed. "No, but I ordered flowers I have to pick up and then I have to go pick her up."

Gippal nodded. "You sure 'bout this?" He didn't ask with doubt, he just wanted to make sure because he was supposed to have her back. This was a huge decision.

Paine glanced at him and nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure."

##

Rikku open the front door early the next mooring to find her girlfriend standing clad in ratty jeans and a long sleeved shirt. It was still dark out that's how early it was, but they were due at school in two hours for rehearsal then the actual graduation started an hour after that. The morning was cool and it seemed Paine had opted to wear Shuyin's maroon beanie today. She had one hand holding three pressed graduation gowns out from the cleaners over her shoulder and then the other clenching a cup of coffee.

Rikku chuckled. "Oh what's that face? C'mere." She cupped Paine's jaw and pulled her in for a kiss. "Are you still mad at me?" She had forgotten to pick up their gowns from the dry cleaner.

Paine shook her head. "I'm just tired." She admitted. Last night she had stayed up late playing video games and chatting with Gippal and Nooj at her old house and had slept in her old room on the bare mattress. Her whole body was sore from paintball and she had expressed her aggravation very clearly earlier this morning when Rikku woke her up talking about dry cleaning.

"Not mad?" Rikku clarified with a small smile as she took the graduation gowns from Paine.

Paine nodded. "Not mad."

"Oh well then can I have another kiss? I missed you yesterday." She asked cutely. Paine smiled a little and leaned down to press a kiss on her lips. "I had to sleep by myself and everything." Rikku pouted and it made Paine chuckle.

"The injustice."

"Are you ready for today Pai?" Rikku asked while wrapping her arms around Paine's waist, she wasn't quite ready to let go.

Paine put her free arm around Rikku as well. "Ready for it to be over."

"Oh c'mon."

Paine nodded. "I really am…You gonna cry today?"

"Maybe." She said honestly."Keira coming?"

Paine nodded again. "Yeah."

"I'm so happy for us." Rikku said quietly. "This chapter is where we met y'know." She had thought about it last night. Now it was over and she was closing it feeling a lot more whole than she did when university first started.

Paine smiled. "Yeah it was huh?" Rikku was always able to look at things differently than her. To her it was just another day she had to fight. "We'll be alright you know."

"I know." She smiled and they hugged gently before letting go. "How's Gippal?" She asked as she led Paine into the kitchen where she was making tea for herself. She was the first up and needed to calm her anxiety with the brew. Yuna and her uncle would be by soon and then they would all eat breakfast before she, Paine, and Yuna left for rehearsal. After the rehearsal there was a small break where she and Yuna were going to leave to get their hair done and Paine was going to do whatever Paine does when they weren't together, Rikku didn't exactly know.

Paine took a sip of her coffee and followed Rikku once her shoes were off. "Little shaky, but good."

"What did you guys do yesterday? You were knocked out when you called me back, you remember?" Rikku asked with a chuckle remembering Paine sleep talking about being a paramedic or something.

"Yeah, an hour long game of paintball. It was pretty intense."

"Oh yeah?" Rikku poured a bowl of fruity cereal and ate it dry with her tea. "Has Gippal and Elma 'reunited'."

Paine chuckled at the mischievous little twinkle in her eye. "How am I supposed to know that Rikku?" She came to sit beside her at the breakfast nook.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Well you slept over right? You didn't I don't know, hear anything?"

Paine shook her head. "Why do you care so much huh?"

"Because Paine they're in love." Rikku sighed when Paine merely raised an eyebrow in response. "They make each other happy, don't you want them together?"

"I mean yeah but it just doesn't happen like that Ri. It's complicated."

"You and I were complicated."

"You and I are still complicated." Paine joked before taking another sip of her coffee.

Rikku sighed and shook her head. Paine was no fun when it came to gossiping. "Pypo I just can't with you sometimes."

"See?"

"I thought you were tired."

Paine nodded. "I am actually. Think I may just sleep during that break we have."

"Where will you go?"

"Go? Nowhere I'll sleep in my damn car."

"I thought you were all sore?"

"I am."

"So no late night happy graduation lovin'?" Rikku pouted.

"You know I put in work for you Princess." Paine smirked.

Rikku patted her arm. "I know Pypo. I know."

Paine shrugged. "I'm just saying be ready."

Rikku laughed and shook her head. "Aint nothing I haven't already seen. You think we'll make it to a year with those old moves Pypo?" She teased loving how Paine got all worked up whenever the subject of performance came up. Paine was in shape, that was the only way to describe it without her mind going off the road and into the gutter. She was a selfless lover that Rikku loved to love, yeah.

"You can't do better than the best." Paine nodded smugly. " We'll make it."

Rikku chuckled. "Go lay down in the den." Paine yawned at the invitation and began to wonder off. "Ooh Pypo."

"Wha?" Paine asked turned a half step. Rikku came up to her and handed her her cell phone.

"So when people call you to get directions you have it." Sometimes Rikku wondered if Paine remembered that she had family with the way she just left her phone all over the place.

"Rikku's it's so fucking early right now I bet our diplomas aren't even printed."

"Just take it." Rikku pushed softly.

Paine raised a brow gently wondering what Rikku knew that she didn't. "Alright." The shorter woman pecked her cheek and turned her toward the den again, she didn't let her sleepy girlfriend get away without a nice firm "go team" slap on the ass though. Paine jumped a little and looked back at her with narrowed eyes. "Remember that, cause I get one next." She waved a finger at Rikku making her laugh before exiting the room.

##

"Is she going to cry?" Paine asked Yuna quickly. This situation had potential to be explosive.

Yuna nodded. "I think she's going to cry."

Rikku blinked a few times. "I jus-"

"Don't." Yuna shook her head slowly. Rikku opened her mouth and Yuna shook her head again. "Don't."

Rikku took a deep breath and began to nod but felt the hot tears behind her eyes crying themselves to be let free.

Paine sighed and walked over to the pre-hysterical blonde and put her hands on her shoulders. She found Rikku's watery green eyes. "People graduate every day."

Rikku's bottom lip trembled and she mimicked Paine's nod. "Mhm."

"It's okay to get a little…emotional."

Rikku sniffled. "Bu—"

"But not right fucking now." Paine said firmly giving Rikku a sure nod and a gentle squeeze at her shoulders.

"I jus- I mean—you guys just look so nice and—"

Just then Kirill walked into the room clad in a light gray suit and his hair slicked and combed. "Is she really crying right now? We're late!"

"And he's my big brother—" Rikku pointed to Kirill.

Paine sighed. They were already running late, and if Rikku started crying then they might as well just not go because the amount of time it would take to calm her down enough to take off her make up, then put new make up on, then drive to the school, and that was all considering she didn't touch her hair. Which was done up in some fashionable bun and curl situation that looked fragile.

"And Yunie you just y'know you're my cousin and…P-Paine…"

Paine sighed heavily. "I'm your girlfriend, I know."

Kirill sighed and stuck his head out the door into the hall. "She's in here crying!"

"I'm not crying!" Rikku yelled at him for the sake of sibling rebuttal.

"Do you want a hug before we go?" Paine asked quietly so Kirill wouldn't make fun of his little sister for needing a hug.

Rikku nodded quickly. "Yes." A hug sounded awesome right about now. She had no fucking clue what had gotten a hold of her, but Paine all dressed up and Yuna all dressed up, and their caps and gowns ready to be put on well it was just making her realize what a ride this college thing had actually been and how she couldn't have done any of it without them. "Group hug."

##

Graduation was held inside of the universities large multipurpose center. It was the usual graduation set up with NLU colors flied on the indoor flags, a stage with a podium and then a number of plush seats for the many advisors and deans of the graduating colleges. The front two sections were for graduate seating, and then behind that was open on a first come first serve bases to family and friends with allotted tickets.

Keira arrived early enough to snag one of the best seats directly behind the future alum, but was find it hard to locate Paine with all the blue and her estranged colleague freaking out in her ear about lighting.

"Christ Carlo figure it out! Their starting!" Keira hung up her phone and sent an apologetic look to the elderly Al Bhed women who just sat down beside her. A tall familiar looking man raised a brow and reached over the old woman's lap to shake her hand.

"Keira. Keira Kerrigan…damn you do look like the kid huh?"

Keira furrowed her brows and shook the man's hand to be polite. "I'm sorry, have we met before?"

He smiled and she swore she had seen that smile before. "Cid Bayla, I'm Rikku's Dad."

Keira's smile brightened. "It is nice to finally meet you. Have they sat us together on purpose?"

Cid smiled but made a motion to the elderly woman between them. "Yuna and Rikku's graduation gift wanted the best seat in the house."

The old woman rolled her eyes and pushed Cid away a bit. "She doesn't know I came." She explained in a thick Al Bhed accent. Her Common was a bit broken but it was understandable. "Milanna." She stuck out her hand.

"Keira, charmed. It's nice to see all of Rikku's family here to support her."

Cid nodded. "These girls did great huh?"

Keira nodded and then turned forward to search for her daughter in the sea of NLU blue like every other parent. Never in a million years had she thought she would be here right now, sitting and searching, hell she had even brought a camera like every other mom. It was an odd sense of pride that she knew she had no right to have seeing as how this was all Paine's doing and none of her own. Still she felt a little teary eyed. University had never been her thing, Paine was so much like her father sometimes even though she didn't know it. She had his brains, certainly not his beauty; she'd take that one, but his charm, his quiet, his eyes. The thought of Paul made her look down at her lap. Inside of her clutch was a note from Paul to Paine. He had begged her to give it to her and Keira would, whether Paine would read it or not was truly up to her.

##

The ceremony had been beautiful and empowering, and in the end Rikku did cry.

Paine had her in a fierce hug as all the other students around them jumped up and down and celebrated. Rikku held onto Paine tightly and listened to the quieted words of encouragement that were meant for only her to hear. Rikku replied in kind and then they hugged for a second more before letting go.

"Okay?" Paine asked.

Rikku nodded and took her hand. "Let's go find our families."

Mackenzie was the first to spot the two and she ran up in her church dress grinning. Paine laughed as the little girl handed Rikku some flowers from the bunch her and her mother got for Paine. "You have to share." She told Paine sternly.

Rikku laughed. "I like this kid."

"Congratulations you two!" Joyce wasn't far behind pulling Paine into a hug she wasn't expecting. A few years ago she didn't even know Paine, but now it felt like that little bird she had taken in with the busted wing was finally flying away after creating a nest in her heart.

"Thanks Joyce." Paine glanced at Rikku who was looking off to where Yuna and her uncle were. "Go." Paine pushed. "I'll see you before we leave for the house."

Rikku nodded and leaned forward and placed a kiss on Paine's cheek before running off leaving Mackenzie looking between the two curiously, Joyce smiling, and Paine blushing heavily.

"Dr. P!"

Paine looked in another direction to see all of her roommates approaching and causing a ruckus like they usually did. Lulu and Vidina were among them. She smiled as she embraced the embraces and thanked the congratulators. In that moment everything was all right. An enormous weight was lifted off her shoulders and she felt liberated. She had accomplished the goal that she had first set after waking up two years ago and learning she had come inches from death. She wanted to go to school, and today was celebration In overcoming that, and so much more.

Keira watched with a small smile as the one blonde man she had remembered from looking for Paine that one day tired to jump on Paine's back. It clearly wasn't happening as Paine pushed him off with ease but then let him keep his arm around her shoulder for all the pictures. He was Gippal, he had to have been.

Across the huge auditorium Rikku was about ready to punch her brother in the face. "Oui ghaf yht oui teth'd damm sa oui pek sayhea!"

He shrugged with a smug grin. "Uv luinca E ghaf."

Milana chuckled at Rikku's antics after giving Yuna a number of grandmother kisses and sighing at how much she looked like her mother. "Kirill! Oui dfu haat du pa pinnat paceta uha yhudran cu oui lyh ynkia bnubanmo mydan. E uh dra udran ryht ys uhmo rana vun dfu tyoc. Lusa Rikku Milan mad sa caa oui."

Rikku didn't care that her hair was a little messed up now as she hugged her grandmother. "E's cu rybbo oui'na rana knyhtsy."

Yuna smiled as the older woman pulled her in too and just held them for a moment. She had an odd feeling about the embrace but she let it pass over her as she took in her grandmothers familiar scent. She smelt like childhood summers in Bikanel with her cousins, and then that one perfume that she wore decade after decade. Yuna still didn't know what it was called or even what the bottle looked like, but she swore she'd know the smell anywhere.

Milana let them go and motioned to Rikku's hair. "Fryd ec drec oui lid ouinc duu? Tuh'd damm sa oui'na knufehk y dyem mega ouin luiceh."

Rikku and Yuna laughed.

##

"Shit on anyone today?" Paine asked Vidina playfully. Vidina made some baby noises while wearing a big ol' Wakka grin. "No? Good job."

Lulu shook her head, "If his first word is shit—"

"You can blame Teedus." Paine chuckled. Vidina was sitting in his stroller trying to grab Paine's silver _cum laude _sash as it dangled before him. Paine noticed this and took it off. The little boy immediately put it in his mouth and began to suck on it. "He can have that." Paine smiled a little at the amount of drool he could produce in such a short amount of time. The top where his mouth suckled was already dark with spit. Paine stood and nodded lightly.

"I suppose you did well…"

"Is that your way of saying congratulations?"

"You didn't get arrested which is impressive." The two shared small smiles. "It is by the way." Lulu added.

"Thanks."

"You know she's been standing over there waiting patiently... I think all these people who know you so well intimidate her."

"Who?" Paine looked around quickly but then stopped when she noticed who. Keira Kerrigan stood there in a simple beige dress with her long smoky hair up in a high bun. When she noticed Paine spotted her she raised her hand at a distance to tell her to take her time. "She came then."

"She did, and so did I."

"Yuna's like your best friend." Paine pointed out.

"And you are somehow related to me." Lulu added. Paine glanced over her shoulder again. "Is it still odd for you?" She could tell was debating on how to interact with Keira.

"A little…Never had my mom at a graduation before…Or my sister …or my nephew."

Lulu nodded in understanding. "I'm still getting used to the fact that I have a son. Is that off?"

Paine shrugged. "Guess I could get that…"

"Then I think about what I ever did without him and I still haven't figured it out.." Lulu motioned discreetly with her chin in Keira's direction. "Mother's aren't always what we want them to be."

Paine shook her head and moved to put her hands in her pockets but stopped when she realized she was still in a gown."No they're not." She said in agreement.

"I went to dinner with my mother… she hasn't always been the most, present but she tried."

"How did it go?"

"Oh horrible, but it was still nice to see her." Paine looked over her shoulder again. "Go say hello, tell her you're glad she came." Paine turned back to Lulu and gave her a questioning look. "Well you are aren't you?"

"Yeah bu—"

"We waste so much time trying to create appropriate ways to communicate. Infants do it best. Isn't that right Viddy Mae?" Lulu began to push a smiley Vidina away. Now Paine understood when Rikku said that something was a very "Luluish" thing to say.

Paine took a breath and then turned and tried to take Vidina's advice by smiling. He was such a happy little guy, and maybe Lulu was on to something there anyway.

Keira mirrored Paine's smile as she approached. "Bravo." She made a show of clapping silently with her handful. "You couldn't even stand on your own you know." She could remember the first few wobbly attempts like they were yesterday.

Paine smiled just a smidge more. "I'm glad you came."

"I'm glad you invited me."

"We could have just went to dinner. I know you got that play opened and stuff."

Keira tilted her head. "I want to share all these important days with you Paine. It's what mother's do."

"Where'd you hear that?" Paine teased.

Keira actually chuckled. "I've been reading a blog." She admitted earnestly.

"Well I guess you know best.." Paine stopped herself when something came to mind "You couldn't have known. I get that." She shrugged gently.

Keira's smile fell and they shared a silent moment to acknowledge the thing they tried not to acknowledge every time they talked. Her smile returned shortly after albeit softer than ever. If gestures had sounds her smile would be the quietest. "I got you a gift."

"You did?"

The eldest Kerrigan nodded. "You mentioned something to me a while ago." She handed Paine one of the envelopes in her slender hands. "It isn't anything crazy…" She decided to just wait and see what Paine thought.

Paine opened the graduation card and saw that Keira had written quite a bit on the left sleeve. She would read it when she had a quiet moment alone. What struck her attention though was a folded picture wedge in between the small message and the standard congratulations. Paine opened it and raised her brows. "A fucking piano?"

"No, a stand up piano." Keira corrected. She really wished Paine wouldn't curse so, but what was she to do? She was learning to accept her daughter for who she was, and not who she imagined she had become. Paine was studying the picture closely. It looked pretty old, but the deep wood had moldings that gave it that antique finish.

"I bought it off a homeless man in the fourth quadrant of Bevelle. That's a picture of it in my apartment back there." Keira waited impatiently as Paine studied the picture. "It was mine you see, in Bevelle but I…Well I no longer wish to live there." She wrung her wrists and then stopped at the nervous habit when Paine looked up at her.

"You're staying?" She had always wondered what came of Keira's life back in the cold city. She must have had friends before she came out here for the interview with The Grand Sphere Theatre.

"I ran away here, and then I ran away from here. This city scares me, but not because I am frightened." Paine nodded but then looked back at the picture. "It ships next week."

"I don't know what to say."

"Maybe you'll start playing again." Keira coaxed. "Kerrigans' have musical souls you know."

"Thank you." Paine was going to blame the tears welling in her chest on Rikku. All it took was one person to start crying at events like these and that was it. Everyone was a wreck.

"I'm going to hug you now." Keira warned she wanted to give Paine the space to back out if she wanted to, but surprisingly enough she didn't and for the first time since that fitful December night nearly twenty two years ago, she embraced her daughter. The songstress pinched her eyes closed as Paine let go of all the expectations and held her tighter.

##

"And I mean that's what I'm hoping to focus on in trainin—"

"Brudda." Wakka cut Tidus off and motioned behind him.

The blonde young man turned around to see Yuna standing there looking a bit apprehensive.

"Congrats Yuna." Wakka said once the brunette came over. If it weren't for him she and Tidus would still probably be standing there looking at one another.

"Thanks Wakka. I'm glad you all could come."

Wakka smiled. "Ya, listen I'm gonna try and find Lu so we can um…go show Viddy around campus ya?"

"He's only six months." Tidus pointed out. "He probably won't even care about college until he's nineteen."

Wakka just shook his head and walked off.

"Well not if Lulu has anything to do with it." Yuna tried.

Tidus turned back to face her from watching Wakka go. He sighed. "Yuna—"

"I've been…distant." She nodded. "I know."

"Are you okay?"

She hesitated. Tidus had always been caring, but for some reason she wasn't expecting it right now. "I'm okay sometimes…others I just don't know who I am…How are you?"

"Nervous."

Yuna smiled. "You're an amazing athlete."

"Not about that." Tidus dug his foot into the carpeted floor. "I'm nervous because it seems like being around you these days just makes you hurt or…throw up." Yuna frowned remembering the party when they were dancing. He sighed with a shrug. "That and in a few weeks time I won't see you at all for who knows how long…that makes me most nervous."

"We have responsibilities together Tidus." Yuna informed. She was determined to turn this conversation into one she came over to have, Even though she was nervous as hell too, she wanted more than anything to spend his few last weeks on good terms. On healthy terms. She missed him, but it was clear right now she wasn't in the best place to try and promise him anything she couldn't. Well, all but one…

"What—"

"If we could imagine what life was like for us growing up without a mother or a present father was like, don't you think Vidina deserves the best of us." Tidus tilted his head still a bit confused which made Yuna smile a little more. "Godparents."

The blonde began to smile. "Paine doesn't really like me. Wakka will be busy…"

"I could possibly send you pictures."

He nodded feeling his heart swell just bit more. "I can handle that."

Yuna smiled back but then it was disrupted by her thoughts. "Tidus I…please don't feel like I don't care fo…like I don't love you still."

"I've made a mess of things."

"You have not, trust me." Yuna shook her head.

"I just…I don't want you to be so confused about us…Maybe this was supposed to happen y'know?"

"Right place wrong time?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

They stood there quietly for a moment.

"You look really nice by the way." "Do you want to meet my grandmother?" They said at the same time then laughed.

Tidus scratched the back of his head and looked around. "Your dad over there?"

Yuna chuckled. "Yes."

"Ah man…"

"Or." Yuna suggested quickly. "We could just see our friend's off until he leaves to get the car?"

Tidus laughed and nodded quickly. "That sounds a whole lot safer."

##

"Rikks I need Little Puppy we're heading out and my stuff is in your car." Paine said once she spotted her girlfriend and her older brother.

Rikku waved Kirill off and turned around. She grabbed Paine's arm and began dragging her along. "Wait I have someone I mk,mwant you to meet!"

Trying to keep the excited blonde from running happy families and graduates over Paine slowed them down as they maneuvered through the crowds. "Who?"

"So Knyhtsy lysa du cinbneca Yunie yht E yht cra'c rana nekrd huf. Ed'c mega dra pacd kevd ajan yht E lyh'd fyed vun oui du saad ran palyica E dymg ypuid oui yht cdivv—"

Paine planted her feet firmly into the ground causing Rikku to jerk forward a little. "Whoa what!?"

Rikku turned around. "My grandma Pai, she's here! It's gonna be so great cause she's here for two days which means I'm gonna be spending all of it with the whole family. Do you understand how big this is to me right now?" Rikku asked with a laugh at the look on Paine's face. "She never travels. C'mon!" Rikku pulled on Paine's arm a little. "Pypo." Rikku sighed when Paine didn't budge.

"Meet me as in me or me as in…_me_?" Paine asked feeling her nerves warm up just a little.

"You as in…wait which one was you again?" Paine rolled her eyes and Rikku mimicked it with a smile. "Pai relax okay? We can talk to her about that later, just come say hi before you leave, please?" Paine nodded and Rikku mouthed a thank you before yanking her along.

**AN: Review!**

**KathleenDee **


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter Sixty Three**

Paine let herself be pulled toward the Bayla/Shaw family who at the moment focusing on Yuna who was telling some story about a college memory most likely. Braska was dressed in a black suit with an orange tie and he was the first to see Paine being dragged over.

"Hey!" He smiled happily and moved to give her a hug. "Was looking for you, congratulations Paine."

"Thanks." Paine nodded as he let her go. She bit her bottom lip when she noticed everyone was looking at them for interrupting Yuna's story. It was then that she noticed someone new in the group. She was about Yuna's height and made the resemblance between Rikku and Yuna seamless. Her hair was out and reached her lower back with ease. It was clear it was once a vibrant blonde that had dulled with age. Her face though wrinkled seemed bright and her swirled clover colored eyes were filled with mirth. She was wearing a simple linen dress and had all sorts of colorful beads in her hair.

She had always had a thing for ethnic women. Dona, Rikku…the list went on, but anyone with eyes could see that Milana was gorgeous, in an old lady type of way of course… She didn't know why she expected anything less with Yuna and Rikku walking around looking the way they do. She was the beautiful you read about when talking about something timeless.

Rikku bounced over to the woman and motioned to Paine. "Knyhtsy E fyhd oui du saad cusuha."

Milana rested a calming hand on her granddaughter's forearm. Where she got the energy was beyond her. "Lyms tufh fuh'd oui. Fruajan ed ec femm cdemm pa dras eh dra dfu caluhtc ed dygac sa du dinh ynuiht."

Rikku chuckled. "Cunno."

Yuna caught Rikku's eye and raised an eyebrow. Was this really the time or place?

Paine pulled her graduation cap off her head nervously as the two women closed the distance between her. Braska chuckled at the look on Paine's face and patted her on the back gently.

"Smile." He whispered before walking off.

Paine smiled politely and so did Milana.

"Knyhtsy drec ec so- Paine." Rikku nodded motioning to Paine.

The judo fighter gulped as the curious gaze of the older woman changed. She must have realized something.

"Paine, this is my grandmother Milana Bayla. She's how I got my middle name remember I was telling you?"

"Drec ec Paine?" Milan asked glancing at Rikku who nodded.

"Nasaspan E fyc dammehk oui dryd cra yht E ryja palusa lmuca drec oayn?"

Milana nodded. "Lmuca, oac E nasaspan huf."

Paine nodded and put her hand out. "Nice to meet you."

Milana took the taller woman's hand and Paine was surprised at how firm the handshake was. "Likewise."

Rikku smiled obliviously as the handshake took a little longer than normal. "Paine say something in Al Bhed."

Paine glanced at Rikku when she finally got her hand back. "Uh…"

Suddenly the entire Al Bhed language and all its rules were lost to her. Milan waited patiently. "I um…really need to get going Princes—Rikku!" She began to blush. "Rikku…"

Rikku smiled softly. "Okay okay." She turned to her grandmother who was smiling. "Cra'c iciymmo naymmo kuut yd ed. E'mm pa nekrd pylg ugyo? Damm Bub?"

"Uv luincao so meddma uha." She turned to Paine and cleared her throat a little as if to bite back her heavy accent. "It was very nice to meet you Paine. Al Bhed is quite easy if you were to decide to pick it up."

Paine smiled and nodded before she was dragged off by her chuckling girlfriend.

##

"It's not funny."

Rikku was still laughing when they got to her car in the crowded parking lot. "I think she likes you."

Paine rolled her eyes before pulling off her graduation gown and stuffed it into Rikku's car.

"Where's your honors shash thingy?"

"Vidina's mouth." Paine pulled her tucked in button down out of her shirt and took off her belt and then messed up her hair tamed hair with a free hand as she reached for her leather jacket. Rikku watched the transformation with a fond little smile.

"I think she liked you." She repeated.

Paine paused. "Yeah?" Rikku half shrugged. "I think she thinks I'm an idiot."

"I'll talk to her tonight."

Paine nodded. "Are we still on for later?"

"Um…I mean my grandma is here and all." Paine frowned but tried to hide it. It didn't work though. Her girlfriend had become a pro at reading disappointment on her face. "It would have to be later than we thought Pypo."

"If you don't wanna hang out—" Paine began getting defensive. It was only because this was a touchy thing, she was still very nervous. Sure asking Cid was big, but asking Rikku was a whole other thing.

Rikku shook her head. "That's not it all, what are you saying to me right now?" She took Paine's arms."Of course I want to spend special time with you."

"Well I mean I don't want interrupt family stuff. You said she never visits so…"

"Well she had a long flight and she's old. She has to sleep sooner or later." She slipped into Paine's personal space and pulled the taller woman's arms around her waist. "I'd sneak out my window for yuh Pypo."

Paine smirked. "Okay." She whispered. Though she was thrown a curve ball with Rikku's grandmother showing up, Keira and all those emotions, and graduating in itself she had to get her mind back on track. Tonight she was going to ask her girlfriend to sincerely be hers forever…like until they died.

That was kinda big

"So stop freaking out." Rikku brought a hand to Paine's hair and helped mess it up a little more. Paine leaned down and pressed a kiss on her lips.

"1Opm." She reminded before letting go.

"Okay." Rikku smiled as she watched her walk off to go locate her friends. Rikku sighed and closed her car door she turned on her heel and hummed to herself as she went in the opposite direction.

##

"Here, drink this." Gippal pushed a red cup into Paine's hand during their little party to honor Paine and Elma graduating. Paine pushed the cup away shaking her head. Gippal pushed it back to her. "You're drinking for the both of us Dr. P. C'mon."

"I have to get Rikks in like two hours. I don't think she'd say yes if I'm fucked up Gip.'

Gippal shook head mumbling something taking the drink back but before he could even decide what to do with it Elma took it out of his hands.

She gave him the universal look of disapproval. "Gippal."

"It wasn't mine!" He exclaimed.

"Paine?" Elma turned to her ex-roomate.

Paine took the drink. "Yeah, sorry."

"Of all people."

"I thought I saw hair in it or something and Gip was checking it…" Paine lied. She took a sip to prove that it was hers but made a face and shot a dirty look at Gippal who shrugged with a playful grin in place.

Elma looked to be deciding who was to blame when Gippal decided to try and get out of it. "C'mon P." He slung an arm around her shoulder and motioned to the stairs that led to the roof. Paine nodded and gladly followed along.

Gippal stuck his hands into his pockets to pull out a cigarette and a lighter when they made it to the roof. He stopped to shield the flame against the subtle summer wind and watched as Paine made her way over to the railing and looked down. The night air was cool and moist from the afternoon shower they had the air smelt of rain stained pavement and earth. Gippal inhaled deeply once he got his cigarette lit and walked over to silently stand beside Paine.

Paine pulled her NLU hoody over her head to protect her cold ears and tried to recognize herself in the streets below. When was the last time she had been up here? Valentine's Day? With Gippal? Well that she couldn't remember.

"My Sus called today…"

Paine glanced at him then back to the city. His mother was a topic she was never sure how to approach with him. "Yeah?"

"I gotta go sign those papers again…"

The papers that kept her locked up in the crazy house.

"Yeah."

Gippal took another drag and then glanced at Paine. "You gonna come or what?"

Paine looked at him. His swirly green eyes were unsure. "Yeah."

They fell silent.

"So what's the plan Doc?"

Paine chuckled to herself. "Now that all that boring shit is outta the way." She jested.

Gippal laughed to himself."Just don't think it's my place y'know?"

"She tried to kill you…"

"Yeah…" Gippal looked at his hands while the cigarette stayed pressed between his lips. He took another drag. "Keira gave you away."

"There's a difference."

"Right."

"C'mon."

Gippal waved her off lightly. "It's cool I just didn't want to go alone."

"Ask Elma." Paine nudged him lightly. "Chicks like emotional stuff like that."

"Ask Em?" Gippal asked incredulously. "Ask her to come with me to sign my crazy ass mom back in to the Looney bin?"

"You can get ice cream after."

Gippal's loud laughter carried through the buildings and to the street below them. Paine was glad she was able to make him laugh. He had seemed a bit depressed lately. Lately as in since leaving rehab. "Nah sorry."

Paine smiled to herself. "I'll be there."

Gippal nodded to himself and continued smoking. "So…was that old broad with Cid's girl?"

"Her grandmother…" Paine groaned remembering the encounter before vividly.

"She's hot."

Paine snorted. "She's fucking old Gip."

"Shut up you know what I meant." Gippal exhaled some smoke in the opposite direction of Paine's face before turning back to look at her. "Kill, fuck, or marry…"

Paine shook her head. "No I'm not playing this game with you."

"Ah c'mon." Gippal wiggled his eyebrows. "I have this feelin' you're gonna like this one." Paine didn't say anything so Gippal took this as his go. "All yuh girls, you ready?"

"Yeah go ahead and disappoint me." Paine sighed bringing her attention to him completely. She wore a lazy smile and was leaning heavily against the rail. She missed just hanging out on Crenshaw like this sometimes.

"Dona—" Paine rolled her eyes. "Lenne, Em, and Cid's girl's grandma."

Paine laughed. "First off that's four people. Second off we need an age limit."

Gippal grinned. "Alright, Kill, Bone, Marry, or… Anal with a strap."

Paine's face distorted. "You're fucked up."

"You gotta answer."

"I don't gotta do shit."

"Dr. P you have to answer, it's the rules."

"Is this what you do with your free time now?"

Gippal shrugged. "You should hear Nooj's responses."

##

_**You're girlfriend has some serious issues.**_

Rikku read the text from Gippal and chuckled before glancing at the time. It was around nine thirty and like clockwork her grandmother had already retired for the night. She deiced to call Paine to make sure they were still hanging out tonight. Rikku glanced to her right at her older brother who was lying in the recliner chair in the den snoring. Really today couldn't have ended better. She was exhausted emotionally from all the fuss and family love. They all hadn't been together like this in a little while and it meant the world to Rikku. On a side note though, she was a little disappointed she hadn't gotten the chance to talk to her grandmother about Paine. Once they got back from dinner everyone just settled in the den and she couldn't catch a moment alone with her. Tomorrow was another day.

As Kirill's snoring raised another octave Rikku decided to relocate to her bedroom to make her call and pick out something to wear.

"Whatever he texted you is bullshit." Paine answered saying.

Rikku chuckled. "You guys having fun?"

"I'm on my way."

"What should I wear?"

"Something warm."

"Warm as in wool or warm as in fleece?"

"Um…warm as in warm?"

"Paine."

"Baby how am I supposed to know?"

"Ugh." Rikku stepped to her closet. "You always do this to me…"

"Just wear something warm."

"Pretty warm or comfy warm?"

"…Comfy warm."

"Wheres my hoody?"

Paine shook her head. "You mean my hoody?"

"Yeah sure, do you have it?"

"It's here." Paine grabbed the dark blue NKU hoody off of her bed before going into the kitchen and placing it on the counter next to the ridiculously large bouquet of Showy Milkweeds. She was going through a mental check list in her head as Rikku went on about dinner.

"….And so seafood because you know you can't get good seafood in Bikanel, so Yunie had prawns and oh they looked so good."

"Prawns are a type of shrimp."

"I know that's why I couldn't eat any but Pai I wanted to, I wouldn't care if I blew up or anything, they smelt that good."

Paine opened the little red box to make sure the ring was still inside. With her luck it wouldn't be, it was though and she took an inaudible sigh of relief. "We gotta get you an epipen."

"No I don't think I could stab myself in the leg over some shrimpys." Rikku pulled down some jeans and then looked for a shirt.

"I'll stab you."

"True love."

Paine chuckled as she gathered her keys. "So you had a good night then? Besides the shimpys? Did you get a chance to talk to your grandma?"

"I had so much fun tonight; I wish you could have come." She pulled a simple graphic tee out of her closet and put the phone on speaker as she moved to change. She could hear Paine struggling with something as she closed a door. "What are you doing?"

Paine had her arms full and was pressing her ear against her shoulder to hold her cell phone in place as she locked up her apartment. "Stop avoiding the question."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "No I did not get a chance to talk to her. I'll do it tomorrow for sure."

"What are you going to say?'

"That girl who couldn't speak Al Bhed? Yeah that's my love muffin."

"Oh well good luck with that. I'll stop by after she leaves."

"Nooo you have to come over tomorrow before we go to the beach."

"Is that what everyone decided?"

"Mhm, bonfire, so that means that you can come over for dinner first."

Paine didn't know about that one. Depending upon Rikku's response tonight either they'd be in a really awkward phase and Rikku wouldn't be wearing the ring. Or they'd be great but dinner would still be awkward because Rikku was wearing the ring. For the moment though Paine was planning to be the most agreeable girlfriend in town. "Yeah okay."

"Then you'll be able to eat some real Al Bhed food and not my fortunate mishaps."

"You're a great cook Ri."

"Yeah well if I'm great I better make sure you don't fall in love with my knyhtsy cause she can cook. Oh hey maybe we should invite Gippal?"

Paine shook her head remembering her conversations with him today about a particular Bayla. "Uh…no I don't think that's a good idea."

Rikku shrugged and picked her phone back up. "Well alright…where are you, I'm dressed."

"I'm now leaving my street."

"I thought you said you were on your way! Paine I could have picked a different outfit. Why do you do these thing—"

"Would you chill?" Paine asked wondering if they were on the verge of having a real argument over something stupid forty five minutes before she proposed.

"You chill!"

Paine chuckled. "I'll be there in fifteen."

"Alright, bye Pypo."

"Bye Rikks."

##

So she was late, but it wasn't because she hadn't made it in fifteen minutes. No Paine was right on time and everything. She was parked outside Rikku house having a moment.

She just needed a moment to compose herself because the overwhelming doubt she was feeling was just her nerves and not her reality. It was like going sky diving, or getting a tattoo. Shit was gravy until you sat in that chair and heard the buzzing of the needle. Or when the hatch opened and you realized you were so high up you were above clouds. In the end it was all worth it. You came out of it a different person. Paine knew that, but she still felt nervous as all hell that she didn't have a back up shoot or that she had gotten the tattoo of an ex lovers name and would regret it for the rest of her life.

She took a moment to breathe some large breaths and then glanced in the mirror at herself. She had to be cool or Rikku would know something was up and there goes the element of surprise.

Rikku opened the front door a few minutes later and chuckled. "My girlfriend somewhere behind there?" She looked behind the huge set of flowers.

"These are for you." Paine smiled, albeit a little nervously.

"Pai." Rikku smiled. "What in the shoopuff, this thing is bigger than me!" She admired the splash of vibrant pink and whites.

"Can you not carry it?" It was a little heavy.

Rikku just shook her head at this as she led Paine into the formal dining room that they never used so she could rest them on the table. "Is this what you were carrying? You big goof how much were these?" Showys were expensive on their own, but to be in a bouquet like this was ridiculous. They were her favorite though, and the smelt amazing.

Paine rested the flowers down and laughed a little at Rikku's reaction. "Happy Graduation babe."

"Aww." Rikku put her arms around Paine's waist. "Thank you, they're so pretty."

"Well y'know I figured they'd match their new owner well that way." Paine shrugged.

"C'mere." Rikku pulled her closer to share a small kiss. "You're so sweet you know that?" Paine shrugged again and slipped her hands into her pocket when Rikku let her go. "I got you something but uh…we can't use it till tomorrow morning okay?"

Paine nodded. "What?"

Rikku smiled. "It's a surprise, gosh. Just be here tomorrow at four thirty so we can leave on time."

"I mean…I can not leave…"

Rikku giggled at Paine's suggestive tone. "My knyhtsy is right next door, no."

Paine pretended to be disappointed when really all she was thinking about was what would happen next. "Fine, whatever."

Rikku shook her head, a laugh tickling her throat. "Where's my hoody?"

"In the car. You ready to head out?" Paine led the way after Rikku nodded. "So where is everyone?" She had caught a glimpse of Kirill in the den, but other than that the house seemed quiet.

"Knyhtsy is upstairs in the guest room, Pop and Dragon Lady had to go back to the office right before you showed up, they were in a rush and everything."

Paine watched as Rikku locked the front door. "Thought your dad wasn't at the firm anymore."

"I mean who the hell even knows." Rikku chuckled. "Yunie and Uncle B left first for their annual Daddy Daughter Dessert Date."

Paine put her arm around Rikku's shoulders as they walked the small distance to her car. "Guess it's just you and me."

"I like it that way anyway. Today was so much fun but y'know Pai I'm tired now." They separated to get into the car. Paine opened the door for her first before getting in on her side. "Not like sleepy tired, but just like people tired…So many people came to say congrats when you left I didn't even know half of them, then I cried again."

"You did?" Paine asked as she buckled her seatbelt and put the heat on low.

"Yeah, for no reason this time. I think it's just almost that time again."

"I don't like it when you cry…"

"They were happy tears though, like I can't believe I made it tears."

Paine turned onto the main road. "I don't think it's set in yet yknow? Like I don't feel anything at all about school."

"Watch Monday morning and you wake up and realize that you don't have to go anywhere."

"Well hopefully work."

Rikku turned to look in Paine's small backseat for her hoody to put on. "What are you going to do to prepare?" Her second interview with Bridge Port Studios was on Saturday.

"Nothing till Friday, I'm still fucking sore from paintball." She rubbed at her left leg a little. "And even then I'm going to just run through techniques, nothing crazy."

"You'll get it." Rikku said once she found Paine's hoody and began to put it on. "You know how I know?"

"How?"

"Cause you either do this or you be a model and for some silly reason you don't want to be a model so…"

"I mean it's just…I don't know." Paine shrugged as they stopped at a red light. She put her indicator on to turn onto the highway. "The money is good."

"Mhm and you said yourself that all you had to do was wear a dress for four minutes. Seems pretty easy to me."

"Then you do it."

Rikku chuckled. "I'm too short."

Paine laughed a little. "Oh yeah."

"So where are you taking me?" Rikku asked casually.

"The ocean." Paine actually decided on throwing her a bone here. "So Keira got me a piano." She distracted the curious look on Rikku's face by saying.

"A piano?"

"Comes next week."

"Pai that's crazy!" Rikku laughed a little. "I mean Pops gave me some money, not enough to buy a piano though."

"Well it was hers, so it wasn't like she spent any real money."

"Shipping?"

Paine shrugged and then glanced at Rikku. "We hugged."

Rikku's face lit up. "Oh my goodness oh my goodness."

Paine laughed. "It was…alright."

The blonde beside her squirmed in her seat with excitement. "Paine this is huge, like…you didn't flinch or anything?" Paine shook her head no. "Pypo that's wonderful! So what does this mean? Are you gonna start calling her Mom?" She joked.

Paine laughed and shook her head. "No, and I don't know what it means Rikks, I just thought I would tell you."

"That you hugged your momma." Rikku teased. "Aww."

Paine rolled her eyes with a soft smile in place. "Are you full and do you have to pee?" She asked when she noticed they past a highway rest stop. The beach wasn't that far away, but still she had to ask.

"I'm good." Paine accelerated. "So knyhtsy and Yunie and I were getting ready for dinner in my room and Yunie was all like…."

##

"I asked you ten minutes ago!"

"Well I didn't have to go ten minutes ago!"

"I'm not stopping the car."

"Fine I'll just pee on your front seat!" Rikku crossed her arms.

Paine glanced at her a couple time just to make sure she wasn't really going to do it. She was annoyed, but only because high tide would come along soon and ruin everything. "You're acting like fucking four years old."

"Well that would make you a pedophile."

Paine grumbled and pulled the car over on the side of the Mi'ihen Highway then motioned into the dark wilderness. "Hurry up."

Rikku glanced at the car window at the spooky forest of trees and bushes. "…You think there are snakes back there?" Her tone dropped to one of worry. "Maybe I can hold it."

Paine was caught between the inability to not tease her girlfriend irrational fear of snakes and actually feeling a little bad. "And go when?"

"When we get to wherever you're taking me." She turned to look at Paine. "That grass is taller than I am!" She pointed out the window.

Paine sighed heavily. "You'll be fine."

Rikku was contemplating holding it again when she noticed Paine's expression. "Fine." She opened the car door slowly. "I'll be right back." She grabbed some tissue she had in her purse and took a brave breath before getting out and closing the door behind her. She steadied herself and stared down the dark wilderness before taking a step forward.

She knew herself well enough to know that she annoyed people sometimes, and it hurt a little to see that on Paine's face. They were bound to annoy one another, but at the same time it just felt different this time, like she'd rather be hanging out with someone who wasn't so childish right now. Rikku sighed at herself and shook her head. Today had been a long day, maybe she was just reading into things a little too much.

Paine watched as Rikku slowly made her way into the woods and sighed. Maybe that could have been handled better.

A few minutes later Rikku reappeared.

"You good?" Paine asked as she started the car again.

"Yeah."

"Find any snakes?" Paine tried to joke.

"No." Rikku said simply as she used some hand sanitizer for her hands. "Let's go."

##

"This is nice right?" Paine asked as she leaned back onto her palms.

Rikku looked around. "Um….yeah."

Paine nodded. "Yeah I mean no one is here, it's private and…." She shrugged.

"Nice?"

They both nodded and went back to their awkward silence. Paine had planned it to be way more romantic in her head, only problem was she was only looking at the big picture.

Pick up flowers

Bring Rikku to the beach

Propose

That was the order in which things were supposed to go down tonight. Never mind what they were supposed to be doing in between.

Rikku didn't even know what to do. This feeling of weirdness had seldom been theirs, yet look, here it was. Sitting in between them and poking them every now and then as if to remind them that this was completely awkward. It almost felt she didn't know the woman at all sitting next to her. Their little tiff earlier had died rather quickly, and Rikku could actually remember being excited once they made it to the beach, but now…now what?

She didn't want to ask Paine if this was it, but she kind of wanted to take her girlfriend out of her misery. Paine had definitely planned something, but was having a failure to launch. "It's cold."

Paine leapt at the invitation by quickly putting her left arm around Rikku and rubbing her shoulders a little. "Better?" Rikku offered her a quiet smile and nodded. "Good." Paine kept her arm around her as she looked out onto the crashing waves. They seemed so violent tonight.

Another three minutes passed.

"I sent out that painting? For the woman in group." Rikku tried again.

"Oh yeah? Cool…"

"I just got tired of looking at it in my room."

"Yeah you finished it a while ago…" Paine watched Rikku yawn. "Tired?"

She nodded. "Mhm, long day."

"Yeah…."

Silence again.

Rikku jumped suddenly causing Paine to glance at her. "Did you feel that?"

Paine shook her head no. "Feel what?"

"That! Did you just feel that?"

"What Ri?" It was in that second that a huge rain drop splashed Paine on the nose. "Fuck." It was like the skies were so heavy that once there was room for one to fall, the invisible seal was broken allowing rain to fall heavily upon them without warning. "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" Paine cursed no one in particular. This night just couldn't get worse and she wasn't sure if it were her fault or the universes but you best believe someone was going to hear about it.

The two quickly stood and gathered the blanket they had been sitting on. "We can't run to the car." Rikku pointed out. They were so far from where they parked to run all the way back now would just mean that they were definitely going to get soaked.

Paine glanced along the bare beach and grabbed Rikku's hand. "C'mon." She called over the increasingly noisy rain. They ran in the direction of a pier not too far away.

The pier offered a decent amount of shelter under the sturdier parts. It just so happened that the driest area was covered in jagged rocks and pieces of drift wood. Rikku held herself as she watched Paine gather some wood and try and find the driest non jagged place to put it. While she fumbled around in the darkness of the under pier Rikku looked around them. The smell was fresh of sea salt and wet wood, and the rain that managed to get past the makeshift shelter fell in droplets of cold. It was dark, but not too dark, one could see where they were going but just barely. Usually Rikku liked these unexpected summer showers, just as long as she was indoors and they stayed at this level, any more intense and she would be nervous about lightening.

Rikku shivered a little more and watched her girlfriend's body language as she climbed onto a steady plateau and made them a place to sit.

Something was wrong.

"Do you need help!?" Rikku called as she clutched the blanket closer to herself.

"No!" Paine didn't even look back.

"Are you—!"

"Rikku does it look like I'm fucking sure of anything right now!?" Paine asked as she turned to look down at her girlfriend who had yet to climb the rocks and still stood on sand. Her brain was scattered and torn between making sure she didn't fail Rikku again, and punching herself in the gut for being such a fuck up. Those feelings of teenage days so quickly rushed back to her as she moved drift wood that she wondered if the last two years had actually happened.

"No…."

Paine sighed and began the short decent after getting a dry seating area situated. "Come on, it's dry up there."

"What was this supposed to be?" Rikku asked not moving even as Paine gave her a gentle push. "What's wrong, tell me."

Paine didn't look at her. "You're gonna get a cold standing under the water like that."

"I don't care."

"Well I do." Paine moved to pick Rikku up but the blonde stepped aside.

"Hey! I can walk for myself!"

Paine motioned to the rocky hill. "Then do it!"

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "Listen Paine Kerrigan I don't know what your problem is—"

"My problem is that you wanna stand in the goddamn rain!"

"That won't be your only problem if you keep talking to me like this!"

Paine clenched her jaw in frustration. "Baby—"

"No don't baby me, Oui'na ibcad yd dra fnuhk bancuh ugyo? Luum ed!"

"Okay!"

"Okay!?"

Paine took a few steps away from Rikku to gather herself. She turned and nodded at Rikku breath and then nodded in a defeated manner. "I'm out of line." Rikku nodded as she studied her girlfriend while wondering what the deal was. "I don't want you to get sick, just climb up?"

"Apologize."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah?"

Paine nodded and Rikku could see the sincerity in her features. They also looked a little frightened too, as if maybe she hadn't realized what she had done until it was over.

Once they were both perched up under the tightest part of the pier where it met level land Rikku put the blanket around her shoulder and moved closer to Paine to share it.

Paine shrugged it off gently and resumed her stance of leaning her elbows on her knees and resting her chin in her hands. "You take it babe."

"You're shivering."

"I'm fine…."

Rikku sighed a frustrated little sigh and shook her head. "Pypo." She touched Paine's shoulder. "Pypo look at me." She didn't like fighting with Paine, and she wanted to get to the bottom of her outburst before Paine internalized it completely.

Paine took a calming breath and turned her head. Rikku's eyes were bright in the dark, they were worried, she could tell. It was then that Paine knew she had to turn this around. "C'mere." Paine put her arm around her. Rikku relaxed into the side ways embrace. "Sorry this sucked…"

"It didn't suck…"

"You're way nicer than me." Paine shook her head.

Rikku looked up at Paine from her spot under her arm. "Yeah but, that's no reason to beat yourself up."

"I wanted things to turn out differently, then I fucking picked fights and…" She shook her head at herself.

"The night is young."

"It's past twelve,"

"Well…"

Paine shook her head at herself and pulled her arm from around Rikku to rub at her leg nervously. "I love you y'know." She nodded once when she realized she caught Rikku's attention. "Tonight was supposed to be something else, and I make you go somewhere alone when you were scared, and I don't say anything on the beach and now it's fucking raining." Paine shrugged. "I'm an ass."

"What happened back there?"

"Just now? I was—"

"No, the beach."

"Oh…I was nervous."

"We're always around each other though Pai." Rikku picked herself up and adjusted the blanket around her. "Why were you nervous?" She didn't understand. She now knew Paine was upset because she was nervous, but nervous for what?

"Cause Rikks…cause…." She took a breath and reached into her jacket pocket. She found Rikku's curious eyes before pulling out the little red box. The curiosity went wide. "Cause I wanted to ask you something, I've wanted to for a while now and well…" Rikku put a hand to her mouth. "It's kind of a big deal…I just wanted everything to be perfect like you are." She found herself smiling softly at the frozen look of shock on Rikku's face. "So before we get a flat tire and run out of gas or something else I need to do this for my own sanity."

"Pai…."

"I love you." Paine said quietly, it was almost lost to the rain pounding down all around them. "I love you so much."

"Oh my god."

"And I want to offer you happiness, and safety, and love. It's not a matter of knowing if I can do it now…I know I can, it's just that I want to so bad it kinda hurts sometimes. I could never imagine my life without you in it Rikku." Paine looked away from Rikku for a split second to make sure the box was facing the right way for when she opened it. "Fedr oui E ys rispma, so muja ec ouin meva."

Rikku made a little noise that resembled a squeal when Paine said that and then opened the little red box revealing a ring she was not expecting to be there. She felt her eyes water.

A moment passed.

"Did I say it right? …. Rikks?" Paine wracked her brain for the correct pronunciation. "Fedr oui E ys…" She tried again but was cut off by the very vigorous nod from her girlfriend who was crying now. Rikku couldn't even help it. The tears came down her cheeks hot and fast and she didn't know how she was breathing because her chest felt as tight as a drum.

Paine smiled widely. "Yeah?"

Rikku wiped her face quickly and smiled at Paine through the mess she had made. "Yeah." She breathed.

The smile on Paine's face was so uncharacteristic that it made the blonde laugh a bit despite herself.

Paine fiddled to get the ring out of the box to put on her finger but was too excited to know her own strength and before she knew what was happening it flew out of the box and her hand and went flying somewhere among the wet rocks. Paine watched in horror but took off after it before Rikku could even realized what went wrong.

"Paine!"

"I'll be right back!" Paine hollered as she carelessly jumped down the spiky rocks only to slip and land in a weird twister move where her hand landed on a jagged rock. She yanked it away quickly throwing herself off balance again and landing on her ass on another rock's edge. "Ah shit!"

Rikku hid her laughter when her girlfriend jumped up again and managed to stumble down another set of rocks before catching her balance and rubbing her behind as if to ease the soreness as she searched the rocks. Paine sighed in relief when she found the shiny ring among the dark rocks and sand. Rikku grinned fondly as she limped her way back up hill. Paine stopped before Rikku and used her shirt to wipe the sand and rain from the ring before reaching for her left hand slipping it on her ring finger with a little smile on her face.

"There." She announced.

Rikku got to her feet looked down at Paine as she pressed her hands to cup her rain stained cheeks. She felt Paine's arms wrap around her waist. She wanted to say something, anything to express just how she felt in that one moment. Happy, surprised, amused, in love, excited, the list could go on. Instead, Rikku settled for kissing Paine as hard as she could without sending them both tumbling down the rocks this time. Paine absorbed the force well and kissed her back just as strongly.

Rikku eventually ended the kiss breathlessly and leaned her forehead against Paine's. Her auburn eyes were sparkling with happiness. This particular emotion suited Paine well. "How's your butt?" Rikku whispered.

Paine laughed. "Hurts like hell."

Rikku laughed and sighed before placing the smallest kiss on the corner of Paine's mouth. "E muja oui."

Paine held her closer. For once in her life she did not doubt the step she was taking, for once she did not wonder what would happen next. The world could have ended for all she cared and that would be okay. The girl of her dreams she had never dreamt said yes, and that was bigger than any degree or belt, it was what she truly wanted to be measured by now. She could love, and she was loved.

Over Rikku's shoulder Paine blinked back a tear. "I love you too."

They stood there for a moment just holding one another, their excitement making it almost impossible to do else until the rain stopped and they were able to leave.

##

Paine put her car in stand and glanced over at Rikku before picking up her hand and kissing it. "We're here." She whispered. It was real late, so late in fact that it was early.

"Don't leave." Rikku whispered back. She had fallen asleep facing Paine on their way back.

Paine smiled at her and leaned forward to press a small kiss on her lips. "Not goin' anywhere, not ever." Rikku smiled back in her sleepy state and caressed the side of Paine's soft face before picking her head up and leaning forward to kiss her again. Paine exhaled against it and Rikku wrapped both her arms around her neck.

"Stay with me tonight Pypo, stay." She pleaded gently.

Paine nodded once. How could she say no? How could anyone? She was certain Rikku had just sparked something alive in her tonight that had been dead for so long. She could have whatever the hell she wanted at this point. The moon? No problem it was hers. Paine was resigned to the fact that that's the way it would be for a very long time.

Rikku just wanted to be close to Paine right now and as she fell into her girlfriend's naked embrace that early morning she felt like her heart was full to the brim with them and everything that had happened and had yet to happen to them.

Paine was breathing intensely behind her and holding her close. She knew she couldn't stay like this in Rikku's room but the quiet love they had just made was making thinking about ever leaving impossibly hard. She smoothed out some of Rikku's hair and used her left hand to follow Rikku's left arm down to her hand where they silently laced fingers. "I'm so lucky." Paine whispered causing the blonde in front of her to smile.

"I'm the lucky one." She picked their hands up and admired the color contrast of their skin tones and the new ring that set so beautifully on her hand. Rikku fell into her thoughts for a moment before turning in their embrace and catching Paine's soft eyes. "We gonna get married?" It was whispered carefully, as if maybe she just thought about the true meaning behind it all. Her heart really couldn't take the answer she already saw in Paine's eyes.

Paine smiled at her. "I want this." She sighed a little as if finally being able to tell Rikku set her at ease. "I want you, and a life with you. I want this Ri."

Rikku began to grin. "Paaiii." She whispered.

Paine blushed. "One day."

"Soon?"

Paine chuckled. "Nah, fuck that."

"What do you meeaaann?" Rikku playfully pushed her pillow.

Paine sighed and held her closer. "Can you just let me recover from one thing first? Damn Bayla."

Rikku laughed. "Love you."

"You know I do."

Rikku smiled and closed her eyes. "I know."

##

Cid smiled as he watched Rikku leave her room the next morning and stretch in the hall with a wide smile on her face. "Morning Pop!" She grinned as she bounced by him.

"It appears it is. How was your night?"

She showed him her left hand where her new courtship ring set on her ring finger. "And you can't ruin my mood so don't even try."

Cid chuckled. "Alright then."

Rikku paused and studied his face. "Paine gave me this…Woman Paine…like she wants to marry me one day….and have babies… with her last name… and who won't be lawyers…." She tilted her head. "Why aren't you freaking out yet?"

Cid crossed his arms. "Because I already knew."

"You already knew!?" He nodded. "How?"

"She asked my permission."

"She did?" Rikku's smile softened. "Aw, Pyp—wait you weren't mean to her were you?"

"Milan I am hardly mean to her."

"Yeah well we don't need your permission." Rikku said pretending to be stern by crossing her arms. She liked to guard herself from the worst and then let herself be surprised later. Experience with her father made her this way.

"Congratulations."

Rikku smiled and surprised Cid by jumping forward and hugging him. "Alright so maybe one will be a lawyer."

Cid laughed and hugged her tightly. It had been a while since he had seen Rikku this happy. Like since before high school or something. "Where is the lucky lady anyway?"

Rikku released him and laughed a little. "Dunno!" She chirped before wondering down the stairs in a haze.

##

Paine was feeling invincible.

"Ah!" Wakka ducked a particularly high kick that nearly cleared him. "Aye aye aye, I need my head ya?"

Paine jumped back into her stance and shrugged as she kept her gloves up to protect her face. "Sorry." She grinned a little as Wakka gave her an odd look. She'd be giving her an odd look too if she were smiling and saying things like sorry during a workout. She quickly stepped forward and landed a fast combo before backing up and jumping a little before slapping her gloves together and then going in again for the attack.

No high had ever felt this good.

##

"Come in."

"Braska How are you—"

Braska looked up and glared. "You little piece of shit, you have some nerve coming in here." He stood from his seat.

His old intern cowered a little. "Look—"

"What the hell do you want, Jenkins."

"I need to tell you something important…it's about our trial…"

Braska calmed himself down enough from wanting to punch the snot nosed law student he helped coach for years in the face. "What?"

He nervously made his way into the room and waited for Braska to ask him to sit, when he didn't he adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. "This is off the record but…"

Braska crossed his arms and pressed his lips together. He was honestly surprised it had taken this long. "How long do we have?"

"Three to five max."

Braska Shaw nodded and glanced down at the many pictures of his family. One in particular was of Rikku and Yuna as little girls playing with Kimahri when he was just a puppy; He looked up at Jenkins and motioned to the seat before him. It sounded like plenty of time, but he knew better than to let himself relax. "This doesn't leave this room so help me I'll make sure you never practice law again but only because you can't eat without being fed through a tube. " He was serious when it came to his family, especially Yuna and Rikku.

Jenkins nodded quickly at his old mentor.

Braska sighed and sat down behind his desk. "Let me see what he thinks he has."

Jenkins handed over the files and notes he had just taken two hours ago from the state prison. "It's actually kind of…brilliant."

Braska took the file folder. "Loop holes, I thought that was lesson one."

"I haven't forgotten."

Mr. Shaw looked up at him and nodded once before beginning to read Auron Guarrd's appeal. "Good."

The End

**AN: Long time coming I know, and a little short too? I know I know, But have no fear, a squeal is in the works and will prolly be posted somewhere on here very soon. Author-alert me to get it as soon as it is uploaded. I hope you all are still interested in these characters because honestly they have a ways to go :) It's been a real joy writing for you all thus far. I almost didn't want to end this story at all but I feel the foundation has been set for what's to come. Please be patient with my updates for the next month or so, finals week is fast approaching. Hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing. Let me know what you thought, where you laughed, teared up, what you wanna see in the future cause yeah, that's where we're headed in the next fic if you couldn't tell. You guys are calling the shots. I've noticed over the months that this thing just isnt mine anymore, it's all of ours, so don't be shy! Review!  
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**KathleenDee **


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